Millheim Journal. (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, July 31, 1884, Image 1

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    THE IHILLHEIM JOURNAL,
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY BY
E.A. BUMILLER.
Office in the New Journal Building,
Penn St., near liartman's foundry.
SI.OOPER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE,
OR $1.26 IF NOT PAID IN ADVANCE.
Acceptable Correspondence Solicited
Address letters to MILLHEIM JOURNAL.
B USIX ESS CARI>S.
HARTEU,
f ***< ' * V - ' ' * V >
Auctioneer,
MILLHEIM, PA.
JOIIN F. HARTER,
Practical Dentis,
Office "opposite the Methodist Church.
MATN STREET, MILLIIEIM PA.
ry OEO. 8. FRANK,
Physician A Surgeon,
REBKRSBURG, PA.
Office opposite the hotel. Professional calls
promptly answered at all hours.
"j~y. D. H. MINGLE,
Physician & Surgeon
* offilce on Matu Street.
MILLIIEIM, PA
J. SPRINGER,
Fashionable Barber,
Shop 2 doors west Millheiin Banking House,
MAIN STREET, MILLIIEIM, PA.
T D. H. Hastings. W. F. Reeder
JJASTINGS & REEDER,
Attornejs-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Allegheny Street, two doors east or
the office ocupied by the late firm of Yocum Jt
Hastings.
rf—. . *
C. T. Alexander. C, M. Bower.
Attorneys-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office in Garman's new building.
jy. GEO. L. LEE,
Physician & Surgeon,
MADISONBUBG, PA.
N
Ofilce opposite the Lutheruu Church.
m"M. C. HEINLE,
Attorney-at-Law
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Practices in all the courts of Centre county.
Special attention to Collections. Consultations
u German or English.
J. A. Beaver. •*. W. Gephart
JgEAVER & GEPHART,
Attorncys-at-Law,
.BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Alleghany Street, North of High Street
HOUSE,
ALLEGHENY ST. J BELLEFONTE, PA.
C. G. McMILLEN,
PROPRIETOR.
Good Sample Room on First Floor. Free
Buss to and from all trains. Special rates to
witnesses and jurors.
QUMMINS HOUSE,
BISHOP STREET, BELLEFONT, PA.,
EMANUEL BROWN,
PROPRIETOR.
House newly refitted and refurnished. Ev
erything done to make guests comfortable.
Rates moderate. Patronage respectfully solici
ted. - " sdy
JRVIN HOUSE,
(Most Central Hotel in the city.)
CORNER OF MAIN AND JAY STREETS,
LOCK HAVEN, PA.
S.WOODS CALDWELL
PROPRIETOR.
Good Sample Rooms for Commercial Travel
era on first floor.
GT. ELMO HOTEL,
Nos. 317 & 319 ARCH ST.,
• PHILADELPHIA.!
RATES REDUCED TO $2.00 PEE DAY.
The traveling public will still find at this
Hotel the same liberal provision for their com
fort. It is located in the immediate centres of
business and places of amusement and the dif
ferent Rail-Road depots, as well as all parts ol
the city, are easily accessible by Street Cars
constantly passiug the doors. It offers special
inducements to those visiting the city for busi
ness or pleasure.
Your patronage respectfully solicited.
Jos. M. Feger. Proprietor.
' —■—s ——
JpEABODY HOTEL,
9thSt. Southlof Chestnut,
PHILADELPHIA.
One Square South of the New Post
Office, one half Square from Walnut
St. Theatre and in the very business
centre of the city. On the American
and European plans. Good rooms
from 50ets to $3.00 per day. Remodel
ed and newly furnished.
W PAINE, M. D.,
46-ly Owner & Proprietor
R. A. BUMILLER, Editor.
VOL. 58.
Ths Old Cherry Farm.
"Sech a reediklls thing to do !" de
clared Aunt Lurainey Mulford. '4
sh'u'd say Hazel wasn't in her sane
senses !''
The Mulford connection, far and
near, were teiribly exercised oyer ttie
fact that Hazel Ilearthorton had in
vested six hundred for the old Cherry-
Farm.
% 'A worn-out old place tint ain't
wuth shucks !'J they asserted.
When Uncle Ilt-zekiuh Mulford died,
leaving a thousand dollars apiece to
each of his two unmarried nieces, the
two girls were looked upon as heiresses
by the numerous kin-folk living in and
around the little village of Dripping
Springs.
But when Hazel, in spite of all op
position,persisted in investing six hun
dred dollars of her legacy in the farm,
as already stated, and invited Aunt
Comfort Mulford to live with her,their
discontent knew no bounds.
"She might of invested her money
safe with me,''complained Uncle Zeke,
"an' I'd of give her live per cent, in
trust on it. She could o' lived good on
that ; but 110, she must go an' spend
her money fust thing 'fore Uncle Ilez*
ekiah was fairly cold in his grave."
"That ole place won't grow nothin'
but pusley and cockle-burrs," groaned
Aunt Lurainey. "She'll starve to
death on it, shore."
"It'll be a judgement on her, if she
does," declared Uncle Z'ke, grimly
shaking his head as he lighted his cob
pipe with a coal from the fire-ulace.
And the rest of the kin-folks agreed
with him, and prophesied all manner of
ill-fortune for Hazel, All,that is,with
the exceptien of Cousin John Mulford
and hit wife, Arvilla.
They upheld her in her unpopular
proceeding. Cousiu John eyen went
and mended the roof of the leaky but
picturesque little cottage, which stood
on a grassy hillside, sheltered by the
sweeping branches of half a dozen or
more black heart cherry trees which
had given the place its name.
"It's a pretty place," averred Cousin
John, "An' Hazel will haye a home
there if she ain't got uothiu' else. Her
an' Aunt Comfort 'll live as happy as
cows in a clover- field."
But the other relatives shook their
heads and drew long faces over Hazel's
future prospects.
"She might of bought a lot in town,
if she must have proppity," they grum
bled.
But Hazel only laughed at their fore
bodings.
"I never had a home of my own,"
she said, "and I guess the old place
will support me and Aunt Comfort as
wsll as the robins that live up in the
cherry trees."
And when the three tiny rooms o f
the little cottage were scoured as clean
as soap and water could make them,
the walls newly whitened, and the
rooms filled with the pretty household
furniture Hazel had bought, and which
Cousin John brought out with his ox
team, the young mistress of Cherry
farm felt a serene content in her pos
sessions that all the ill-natured fore
bodings of the Mulford clan failed to
disturb.
"Thar you air, Hazel—snug as a bug
in a rug !" said Cousin John, mopping
his face with his red cotton handker
chief, as he slartsd the lumbering oxen
on their homeward way. "An' when
you git yer plunder all put to rights,
me au' Arvilly'll come an' make >ou a
visit."
"Be sure you do," cried Hazel,
brightly. "And when the cherries are
ripe, Arvilla can have all she wants k to
put up."
Melzena Mulford, Uncle Ilezekiah's
other legatee, was no less loud in her
denunciation of Hazel's investment.
"Flow does she ever expect to git
married I'd like to ;know," she com
mented, "away off in that lonely place,
with nobody but poky Aunt Comfort
for company ? But I don't care, I'm
sure, if she wants to make an old maid
of herself. I'm a-goin to have the
good of ray money while I'm voung."
She accordingly indulged herself in
the purchase of numerous and expen
sive dresses and gew-gaws, banged arid
frizzed her hair in the latest style, car
ried a scarlet parasol in her village
walks and after enjoying the triumph
of exhibiting herself and her new pos
sessions to the inhabitants of Dripping
Springs, she announced her intentioii
of going to the seashore for the sum
mer.
"Going a-husband hunting,"declared
the gossips. "There ain't nobody
good enough for her in Dripping
Springs !"
But if Melzena heard them she paid
no heed to their gossip, but packed her
big new Saratoga trunk with her new
finery, and set out on her journey.
As the weeks passed on, Hazel and
Aunt Comfort enjoyed themselves in
their new home, in spite of the eyil
prognostications.
MILIIEIM, PA. THURSDAY, JULY 31., 1884.
(4
And indeed, though tho dissatisfied
kinfolk still shook their heads over Ha
zel and her doings, they were very well
pleased to drive out to the farm on
summer afternoons, and eat their till
of ripe black-heart cherries, or drink
tea from Hazel's flowered-china tea
cup ;or to spend the day, and dine on
fried chicken, green peas, new potatoes
and other early vegetables, raised by
the industry of Hazel and Aunt Cora
fort, with a little help from Cousin
John and his hired hand,.Mike.
****** * *
"Married ? No; nor I don't never
expect to he," solemnly asserted Mr.
Nicholas Bycroft, as he fastened the
hasp of his trunk, and tcok down his
breech load in rifle to see that it was in
order.
For Mr. Nicholas was making final
preparations for his journey to Texas,
where lie was going into stock-raising
on a cattle ranch of several hundred a
cres.
"Get married,indeed !" lie continued
muttering to himself. "There ain't
more'n one girl in a hundred I'd have,
au' like as not that one wouldn't have
me. If there wis a girl, now, ttiat
thought of anything beside a-curling
her hair and dressing herself up in silks
and furbelows, an? had any idee of
what a home ought to be, I dun know
but I might— But, pshaw ! if there
is any sich girls, I've never coma a
cross 'em and never expect to. I'll be
an old bachelor and live by myself, like
Uncle Tom."
****** * *
"Bless me, Hazel," cried Aunt Com
fort, one bright summer morning,
"here's your Cousin John an' Arvilly
a-comin out in the spring wagon, an' a
man with 'em. Who kin it l>e ?
'Tain't the minister, I know, fut he's
more grizzled lookin' an' liaint got a
pinted mustache like this one."
It was baking-day, and Hazel was in
the kitchen, her sleeves rolled up, and
her cheeks Hushed to a bright damask
red.
"I hope the best table-cloth is clean,
whoever it is," she returned, peeping
into the oven at a pan of cherry-tart,
that were almost swimming in their
own crimson juice.
The stranger with the "pinted mus
tache" proved to be Mr. Nicholas By
croft, who has stopped on his j mrney
to spend a week with his cousin Arvil
la, John Mulford's wife.
Mr. Bvcroft's visit to the Cherry
Farm was bv no means his last one ;
and for some reason or other,his week's
visit stretched to a month, and the
month had almost doubled it3elf, and
still he lingered at his cousin's near
Dripping Springs.
One summer night he stood witli Ha
zel on the latticed porch at Cherry Cot
tage, the soft moonbeams flittering
down through the scarlet bean vinos
overhead.
"There ain't another woman in the
world I ever wanted to marry. Hazel
only you !" whispered Nicholas, earn
estly. "I want a wife that can help
me to make a home and to enjoy it af
ter it is made. Think of my big ranch,
out in Texas, now. I shall live there a
lonely old bachelor all my days, unless
you go with me. Say, Ilazel, will you
go ?"
And so, much to the delight of Cous
in John's folks,and the surprise of oth
er relations, the wealthy cattle-ranch -
er carried Ilazel off to be mistress of
his Texas home.
Aunt Comfort was left possession of
Cherry farm, rent free, for the re3t of
her days ; and here, Melzena Mulford
was glad to seek an asylum when she
returned from the seashore, with onlv
a remnant of her legacy left, and with
no prospects of marriage settlements on
hand.
Many Scotchmen insist that the
deerhound was the original of all the
dogs of Great Britain.
It is said that little boys in Mexico
who obey their teacher in school are
rewarded by being allowed to smoke
while they study.
SUBSCRIBE for the JOURNAL.
A I'AI'KR FORTIIKIIOMH CIIK'LK
Cleveland and Hendricks,
DiMilic Candidates
FOR
PRESIDENT
AM)
VICE rKESIE\T.
Noted Men.
Though ;in democratic America we
have no titled rulers, yet nearly every
man who has achieved distinction Jin
any walk of life hits his sobriquet, by
which he is more or less widely known.
Especially in tips time of statesmen,
politicians and soldiers.
These sobriquets are usually applied
in recognition of some great achieve
ment or achievements,or else illustrate
some personal characteristic of the re
cipient.
Some of these democratic titles are
trivial; others are of importance and
form an accepted portion of history and
biography.
To begin with let us mention him
j that was 'first in war, first in peace.and
first in the hearts of his countrymen,'
George Washington, who is so justly
called the 'Father of his Country.'
It is well known that instead of this
title he might have had that of king,
had he chosen ; but his patriotism was
of too high an order to listen to such a
proposition. Posterity will honor him
the more in his choice.
Henry Clay, the man who 'had rath
er be .right than he President,' was
known as the 'Great Pacificator,' he
cause of the compromise measures in
troduced by him in Congress.
These measures pacified the leaders
of both fations, and serious difficulty
was theieby averted.
Daniel Webster has been called 'the
Great Expounder of the Constitution,'
and is now often referred to as 'the god
like Daniel,'from his majestic presence.
John C. Calhoun,the Southern states
man, bore the sobriquet of 'the Great
N nil i tier.'
Thomas Jefferson was well styled
'the Sage ot Monticello.' He was a
scholar, 'and a ripe and good one.'f John
Adams, who died upon the same clay as
Jefferson, and who was closely associ
ate!! with him in the early days of the
Republic, was a man of great capacity,
hut personally and politically unpopu
lar. He was called in derision by his
neighbors 'the Cuke of Braintree,' from
his cold and aristocratic manners.
Andrew Jackson gained the title 'Old
pickery,* from his toughness and obsti
nance. Though obstinate and very
tenacious of his opinions, he was a man
of strict integrity and undoubted patri
otism.
John Quincy Adams, who served
many years in the House of Represent
atives after being President, was ap
propriately called 'The Old Man Elo
quent.'
Stephen A. Douglas was known as
the 'Little Giant.'
William Henry Harrison was some
times called 'Tippecanoe,' in recogni*
tion of his victory at the battle of that
name.
Zachary 'Taylor was termed by his
soldiers 'Old Rough and Ready.'
The martyr Lincoln bore through
life, and will even bear in history the
sobrique of 'Honest Abe.'
How well lie deserved it! Honesty,
kindness and simplicity were the most
prominent characteristics of the man
whose memory the nation honors as
that of one of her greatest statesmen
and wisest rulers.
General Grant has been styled 'The
Silent Man,'and during the war was
sometimes called 'Unconditional Sur
render' Grant, the initials of these
words being the same as those of his
name. •
General' A/arion, of Revolutionary
fame, nuring his campaign in the South
gained the name of 'The Swamp Fox.'
General Anthony Wayne was called
'Mad Anthony,' necause of his bravery
and impetuosity.
The dashing cavalry commander, M
ajor Henry Lee, became 'Light-Horse
Harry.'
During the late civil war the soldiers
delighted to call General Joseph Hook
er 'Fighting Joe,' while Gen.George 11.
Thomas will ever be known as the
'Rock of Chickamauga.'
The Confederate general, Thomas J.
Jackson, bore a name gained in a some
what similar manner. At the battle of
Bull Run, Gen. Lee,one of the Confed
erate army, while encouraging his men,
pointed to Jackson, saying :
♦There stands Jackson, like a stone
wall.'
Ever after this he was known as
Stonewall Jackson, many believing it
to be his real name.
/-fe"
mil : \ " Wl
wm
Jf
n** J& ssww^'
-■ ■
-*&z M$ - *
The Last Electoral Vote.;
The electorial vote by states in 1880
was as follows :
Garfield— Colorado, 3; Connecticut,G;
California, 1; Illinois, 21; Indiana, 15 ;
lowa, 11; Kansas, 5; Maine, 7; Massa
chusetts, 13; Michigan, 11; Afiuuesota,
5; Nebraska,3; iSiew Hampshire,s; New
York, 35; Ohio, 22; Oregon, 3; Pennsyl
vania, 29; Rhode Island, 4; Vermont,s;
Wisconsin, 10; total, 214.
llaiwKk— Alabama, 10; Arkansas,6;
California, 5; Delaware; 3; Florida, 4;
Georgia, 11; Kentucky, 12; Louisiana,B;
Maryland, 8; Missisippi, 8; Missouri,ls;
Nevada, 3; New Jersey, 9; North Caro
lina, 10; South Carolina, 7; Tennessee,
12; Texas, 8; Virginia, 11; West Arir
gmia, 5; total, 155.
The Electoral votes of California
were divided, Garfield getting 1 and
Hancock getting 5. The total popular
votes receiyed by eacli candidate were
as follows : Garfield, 4,451,619 ; Han
910.
Statesmen's Wives.
A Washington letter to the Louis
ville Courier-Journal says : "It was in
order to limit the space which loafers
of a most objectionable character used
daily to fill in the House gallery sever
al years ago that the House of Repre
sentatives decided to set apart certain
poitions of the gallery to bo reserved
for those who had cards of admission
thereto, given them by the members.
One gallery is exclusively for the fam
ilies of Representatives, or those
whom they and their wives regard as
such.
One Representative said, at the time
it was decided to reserve this gallery,
that it was djne so that the members
could know exactly in what part of the
gallery their wives were likely to be, so
they would know which way to dodge
if they whished to avoid their gaze.
Some of ladies become much absorbed
in watching the fate of the bills in
which their husbands take an especial
interest, and their faces show their
chagrin or triumph in the course of the
debate. One of them, whose husband
had been suffering severely with bron
chitis when he was forced to go to the
house to look after a bill of great im
portance in his district, used to go
there daily while there was a prospect
for the bill coming up, and carried a
box of quinine pills, and regularly
sent from her seat in the "members'
gallery," an affectionate note and a
dose of rned'cine to her husband on the
floor of the house when the time came
for him to take it. Thus she strove to
brace him up for the contest in the
same spirit as Spartan wives equipped
their husbands for battle. The day
his bill was voted down she had waited
for several hours with satchel contain
ing the pill box in hand, and as soon
as the vote was announced, which was
against her husband, she rose indig
nantly,packed up the medicine and went
home with lessened faith in its bracing
effects.
The wives, of course, do not fail to
watch from the gallery the demeanor
of their respectiye husbands iu their
seats below, especially when cards are
brought in to the latter. One lady will
say to another : "There goes a card
to your husband ; wonder if it is a la
dy or a gentleman want 3 \to see him.
There he goes out ; let's see how long
he stays, and then we'll know whether
it was a man or a woman. There he
comes in again, so it must have been a
man who was waiting for him ; he'd
have stayed longer if it had been a wo
man, certainly."
While some of the incidents in this
gallery are highly amusing, others are
oftener very annoying. For instance,
lately, a loving wife, who was listening
intently to her husband's speech, heard
a lady behind, who was evidently una
ware of her presence, say : 'ls that
Smith speaking again, now ? It seems
to me he is always talking,and yet nev
er has anything to say.'
An all-night session of the United
States House of Representatives, espec-
ially when it is occasioned by a discus
sion which requires either political part 3
to muster its full strength and causes a
'call of the house' to be ordered, and
the sergeant-at-arms to be instructed
Terms, SI.OO per Year, in Advance.
to bring in absentees, and always has
some 'tuberous features outside the
hall, as well as some productive of an
noyance to the families of members of
I the bouse, as well as to themselves.
I During such a night session, not long
, ago, the wife of on.) of tho colored Rep
resentatives was left alone in the mem
bers gallery until a late hour, and all
other occupants of t hat gallery having
left at an early part of the night. She
could not, go home alone, and her hus-
I band,who was 011 the lloor of the house,
was locked in so he could not leave to
take her homo. It is the custom as
soon as a call of tho house is ordered
to lock all doors of exit or entrance to
the legislative hall, not only to prevent
those members who are within from
getting away without permission of the
house, but also to prevent those absent
without leave getting in except in the
custody of the sergeant-at-arms, who
has been ordered to arrest them and
bring them to make their excusesat the
bar of the house. It was not until the
colored representatives could succeed
in obtaining the formal leave of the
j house to go home with his wife [and he
promised to return as soon he had done
so] that he could join her in the gallery
and accompany her to their residence.
What He Was Paid For.
I heard a very good anecdote from
Chauncey Depew about ltutter, now
president of the New York Central rail
road. Commodore Vandcrhilt picked
flutter up when lie was acting as
freight agent on the Erie railroad. lie
was paid SIO,OOO to go oyer to the Cen
tral and take charge of their transpor
tation business, llutter was a slim
young fellow, with a ruddy face and a
prematurely gray moustache, and he
never got over being surprised with
himself at his remarkahle growth ir.
the railroad business. There came up
a decidedly kuotty problem one day,
not long after he took hold of the Cen
tral business. Rutter did not know
what to do, and so walked into the
commodore's office and stated the c:ise
to the old gentleman. Said the com
modore : 'Jim, what does the railroad
pay you V'
! 'Fifteen thousand a year, sir. 1
4 What for ?'
'For taking charge transporta
tion business. 1
'Well, then, it wo pay you for that
why do you come to me ? Do you want
me to earn your salary for you V
llutter took the hint. lie went right
out,made a decision in the kuotty prob
lem, realizing that if he wasn't com
petent for the duties the company
would make short work with him. and
if he was competent it required difficult
problems like that in question to show
his competency. From that time un
til he became president of the great
corporat'on lie never asked anybody's
advice about his action. lie did what
he did shouldering the responsibility
and expected to stand or fall by it. So
it happens that this man is now presi
dent of one of the greatest corporations
in the world.
A Square Boy.
Two or three weeks ago a pedestrian
who was passing a house on Riopelle
street heard the sounds of a terrific
struggle going on, and as lie locked in
at the front door a boy about twelve
years of ag**, who sat in the hall, qui
etly obseaved :
"It's only the old folks having a lit
tle row, stranger."
"Do they have 'era often V" asked
the man.
"Almost every day."
"If I were in your place I'd stand at
the door here and charge ten cents ad
mission fee. It's worth the money to
see a family riot like this, and you
alight as well make a few dollars as to
let the chances slip."
The boy said be would think of it,
and the pedestrian waited until the
man had choked the woman as black as
a plum and then passed on. Yester
day he chanced that way again, and
theie was auother row going on, and
the same boy sat on the door-step.
"I'll see the show," said the man, as
he pulled out his wallet. "Has it pro
fited you ?"
"Stranger,l can't take your mouey,"
replied the lad.
"Why ?"
"Because I'm a square by. For a
week or so eyery fight in there was as
square as a dice and worth the price of
admission, but as soon as a crowd be
gan to come and the gate money began
to run up to eighty or ninety cents, dad
and mam began to hippodrome on
the public. That blood on his nose
was put there half an hour ago, and
mam's black eye is three weeks old.
They want me to stand in with them
and deceive the public, but I cau't do
it. Let the best man win or quit the
business, is my motto. Pass on stran
ger, for this is a put up job to gull
the confiding public."— Detrort Free
Press.
/
Thebonesand teeth ofsome unknown
animal were lecently discovered near
the Genesee river. One of the teeth
was three and one-half inches long and
two and one-halt inches wide across the
crown.
NO. 30.
{NEWSPAPER iAWS *>
If subscribers ofiler the tfisaturi'Wiatirn of
newspapers. tho ptiMftheff ma#'centime to
semi their until alf arrearages are paid.
If refuse or neglect to take, their
newspapers from t lie offlee to wit tell they are tout
theyarefhbla responsible until they hare settled
the bills and ordered them discontinued.
If Subscribers move to ot her places without InJ
forming the publisher, and the newspapers ar
sentto the former place, they are responsible.
ADVEWimiNG KATBIS."
1 wk. 1 IUO. I 3 mos. 6 moa. 1 year
1 square * *2<< *4no | $5 00 $6 00 $ 8 (JO
% " 7 (<0 10 <lO IS 00 30 00 40 00
1 " 10 00 15 00 1 3500 4500 7500
One inch tuakea a tuiuare. Administrators
and Executors' Notices *2.50. Transient adver.
tisemeuts and locals 10 cents per line for first
Insertion and 5 cents per line for each addition
al insertion.
Daniel's Mean Trick.
'I knew I'd bring her up here later or
or sooner, 1 he said to the Captain at
tho Central Station, as an officer walk
ed him in.
He was mud from head to foot, he
limped on his left leg, and the offer of a
cent would have set him crying like a
lost child.
'What's the matter with you V asked
the Captain. .
'Nothin', only if you, have got any
grim-faced death around here, you can
bring it oil as soon as you please. I'm
broke up, cleaned out and ready to be
come a cherub.
There was silence as the blotter was
brought out and a pen hunted up, and
when they asked his name, he walked
out:
'Put me down as Abraham Lyons,
deceased, for I don't want to liye any
longer. I never expected to live to have
a son like Daniel go back on me in this
way. 1
'What's the matter with. Daniel V
'Gentlemen, 1 he replied as he laid a
hand ornamented with seven warts on
the desk, 'l'm a widderer, and Daniel
is my only son. Last night I was to
have been married to the cutest,chunk
iest, sassiest little widder in Wayne
county. I was so happy that I'd haye
c.old my last pair of socks to pay out
lawed debts. I kinder trod around on
air. I grinned at eyery thing and every
body. Hang me if I didn't take off my
hat three times to a cow and hoped her
family was as well as could be expected
with the bottom knocked out of the
milkpail market. 1
'Well I 1
'Well,l sent Daniel oyer to see wheth
er I should wear a white vest or a black
one, and what did he do but box his
poor old father up I Went right back
on the parent who has stood up for him
like a stone wall behind a briar bush.
Went and wrecked his poor old father
on the rocks of deceit and deception. 1
'How l 1
'Married hf r. Went and fell in love
with the woman who was to be his
step-mother and made her his wife.
Yes, my own son whom Fvesct up
with in sickness and nursed through
adversity. Who cau we trust now ?
Whither are we drifting ?'
He was locked up to sober up and let
layers of mud dry, and when Daniel
came down in the afternoon to see bird
lie retired to the darkest corner of his
cell and called out :
'Go way, base offspring ! A son
who'll sneak in on his father as you did
can never expect forgiveness. Have my
funeral strictly private, and you needn't
mind about a tombstone.'— DetroitFree
J*ress.
Induced Him to Come.
During the high water a man was
seen going down the Arkansas on a
log. As he was passing Little Rock
several men sprang into a skiff rowed
out to the lone navigator and said :
"Climb in. 11
"Climb in whar ?"
"In the skiff, hurry up."
"Wall, strangers, I'm pretty well
fixed. Don't take no work to move
loug.
" Where are you goiag ?"
"Down the river."
"We know that. Where are you
from?"
"From up the river. 11
"Of course you are, but— 11
"What made you ax, then ?"
"What are you doing on that log ?"
"Travelin 1 ."
"What do you want to fool with us
for ? Don't you know you'll drown if
you keep on iu this way ?"
"Won't drown if I keep on this er
way. If I was ter git off in the water
I mout drown."
"llow far have you come this *
way ?"
"I've come this way all er long,"
"But where were you when you got
on the log ?" •
"On the log." •
"Of course, but where was the
log ?
"In the river."
but how far from here?'*
"Ain't made no calc'lation."
"Where do you live when you are at
home ?"
"At home."
"Of course, but where is your
home ?"
"Whar I live."
"Where is your family ?"
"Scattered er long."
,'Did your house wash away ?'•
"Sorter. My wife's back yonder on
a cottonwood log, an 1 my son Bill's
comin 1 along som'ers on a poplar."
"Why don't yob come to the
shore ?"
" 'Cause it don't cost- nuthin ter
ride."
"You'd better come put and get a
drink of whiskey."
"Dinged if I don't do it. Feller
back here wanted me to come out and
hear him preach, but he didn't have
the right kin'o' gospel. Now, fellers,
pull for the shore as fas' as yer ken."—*
Arkansaw Traveler.