Millheim Journal. (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, July 24, 1884, Image 1

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    THE MILLHEIM JOURNAL,
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY BY
R. A. BUMILLER.
Office in the New Journal Building,
Penn St., near Hartinan's foundry.
SI.OO PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE,
OB $1.25 IF NOT PAID IN ADVANCE.
Acceptalile Correspondence Solicited
Address letters to MILLHEIM JOURNAL.
BUSINESS CARDS.
AHARTER,
Auctioneer,
MILLHEIM, PA.
D JOHN F. HAliTEtt.
Practical Dcntis,
Office opposite the Methodist Church.
MAIN STREET, MILL mix V\.
JQ R.GEO. S. FRANK,
Physician & Surgeon,
KEBERSBURG, PA.
Office opposite the hotel. Professional calls
promptly answered at ail hours.
D. R. MINGLE,
Physician & Surgeon
Offlice on Mam Street.
MILLIIEIM, PA
J. SPRINGER,
Fashionable Barber,
Shop 2 doors west Millheim Bankinc House,
MAIN STREET, MILLIIMM, PA.
D. H. Hastings. W. F. Reeder
•JJASTINGS & REEDER,
Aitorneis-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Allegheny Street, two doors east or
the office ocupied by the late flrui of Yocum
Hastings.
C. T. Alexander. C. M. Bower.
Attorneys-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office in Carman's new building.
GEO. L. LEE,
Physician & Surgeon,
MADISONBURG, FA.
Office opposite the Lutheran Church.
M C. HEINLE,
Attorney-at-Law
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Practices in all the courts of Centre county.
Special attention to Collections. Consultations
n German or English.
J. A. Beaver. •*. W. Gephart
"gEAVER & GEPHART,
Attorneys-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Alleghany Street, North of High Street
JGROUKERHOFF HOUSE,
ALLEGHENY ST.,' BELLEFONTE, PA.
0, G. MCMILLEN,
PROPRIETOR.
Good Sample Room on First Floor. Free
Buss to and from all trains. Special rates to
witnesses and Jurors.
QUMMINS HOUSE,
BISHOP STREET, BELLEFONT, PA.,
EMANUEL BROWN,
PROPRIETOR.
House newly refitted and refurnished. Ev
erything doue to make guests comfortable.
Rates moderate. Patronage respectfully solici
ted My
JRVIN HOUSE,
(Most Central Hotel in the city.)
CORNER OF MAIN AND JAY STREETS,
LOCK HAVEN, PA.
S.WOODS CALDWELL
PROPRIETOR.
Good Saninle Rooms for Commercial Travel
ers on first floor.
QT. ELMO HOTEL,
Nos. 317 & 319 ARCII ST.,
PHILADELPHIA.!
RATESfiEDDCEDTOS2.OO PER DAY.
The traveling public will still find at this
Hotel the same liberal provision for their com
fort. It is located in the immediate centres of
business and places of amusement and the dif
ferent Rail-Road depots, as well as all parts ot
the city, are easily accessible by Street Cars
constantly passing the doors. It offers special
inducements to those visiting the city for busi
ness or pleasure.
Your patronage respectfully solicited.
Jos. M. Feger, Proprietor.
JPEABODY HOTEL,
9thSt. South, of Chestnut,
PHILADELPHIA.
One Square South of the New Post
Office, one half Square from Walnut
St. Theatre and in the very business
centre of the city. On the American
and European plans. Good rooms
from 50cts to $3.00 per day. Remodel
ed and newly furnished.
W PAINE, M. D.,
46-ly Owner & Proprietor.
R. A. BUMILLER, Editor.
VOL. 58.
Cleveland at his Home.
From the Philadelphia TIME*.
It is nearly always an easy matter to
trace a man's career where nearly ever
yone you meet knows all about his in
comings and outgoing. Here the po
liceman on the corner was appointed
by him when Mayor. Further up the
street the lawyers, doctors, preachers
and tradesmen spetk of him as "Clove"
or "Grove." All siv to his credit that
his phenomenal advance in public favor
has not changed him a whit ; mat he
is still the same quiet, unassuming cit
izen now as when he was a lawyer
seeking clients. The old uncle, L. F.
Allen, who gave him good advice, but
very little else, when he reached here
some thirty years agv> on his way to
Cleveland, Ohio, still lives here and is
now past four-score years. He persua
ded his nephew to 6top at this point
and helped him to get a chance to study
law by working mighty hard for it.
He is an eccentric man, of strict busi
ness habits, and doesn't seen, to take
much interest in politics. lie really
knows less of the life of his relative
than almost any man of repute you
meet.
GROVER CLEVELAND'S ROMANCE.
Grover Cleveland came of a some
what singular family. All his ancest
ors were strong poeple, but turning to
the church for a living they were al
ways poor. The city is full of remin
iscences of his Gght for a place here,
but the story of his boyhood days must
be gathered in another locality. Prob
ably, not three people here know why
he never married ; perhaps none do.
The mishap that led him to tred the
wine-press of life alone was a painful
one ; but it left the sting before he
came here. Ever since his residence
in Buffalo he lias liyed with his law
books and in his profession. Although
he is reputed to be a good, genial com
panion, fond of life and the world, he
has shunned society and lived for his
mother and sisters, who needed his
help. Probably more preachers were
reared out of his family than any oth
er in the country. They all taught the
doctrines of the Presbyterian Church
for a small price and died poor. Mr.
Cleveland's father left some ten chil
dren, about his only available assets
when he died. Hence it went out that
be was too poor to marry until so well
grounded in his bachelor ways that he
could not be tempted from them by the
comeliest girl in the land. There are
no traditions that he ever courted a
lass. Yet it is true that he did and
that the picture of that one still re
mains by his side. It is true that lie
was and, as the world goe3, still he is
poor. It was uot until a few years ago
that he felt able to pay back the money
he borrowed to bring him West in 1855.
He only got his legal education by a
pretty tough fight with adversity and
it took him four years of drudgery in
the office of Rogers & Bowea before ho
was addmitted to practice.
AS A LAWYER.
I went into the spacious offices this
morning, but not one of the old firm
was there. Only one is alive and he is
in Europe. Mr. Cleveland has had
four or five law partnerships with the
strong men of this city, and a'l say he
was a valuable business companion.
His career as a lawyer is well defined
in this region and bis reputation well
established. It seems queer that the
general agieement has not reflected it
self outside of Western New York.
Mr. Milburn, a bright young man,now
a partner in the law firm where the
present Governor studied, said to me
this morning :
"It amuses me to hear this talk a
bout Mr. Cleveland's lack of ability.
He is the strongest character I ever
knew without a national reputation.
He is a fine lawyer. He is incapable of
wilful wrong and nothing on earth
cruld sweep him from his conviction of
duty. That he is thoroughly honest
cannot be questioned and without be
ing what might b9 called a brilliant
man he has always been regarded as an
able and safe one in every relation of
life.
This terse summing up of the nom
inee's position at hocne is simply dupli<
cated by the Judges and lawyers with
whom he has mingled. Among the
laymen he seems to stand equally high.
Republicans and Democrats alike
speak of him as a man of the strongest
character and highest attainments.
Mr. James N. Mathews, who edits the
Express , the leading Republican paper
in the city by the lake, speaks for this
sentiment as follows :
"I know of no Democrat better e
quipped for the position for which he
has been named than Grover Cleveland.
He is an able, honest and incoriuptible
man. He is self-reliant and has excell
ent judgment. I shall do all I can
honestly and honorably to defeat his e
lection, for I am earnestly for Mr.
Blaine, But when people speak of him
MILHEIM, PA. THURSDAY, JULY '24., 1884.
as an obscure man it is but fair to say
that lie has long stood in the front rank
with the very leaders of thought and
action in this part of New York."
BIIEIUFF CLEVELAND.
Grover Cleveland's habits of life
seem to have been as simple as the gen
eral jonduct of the man has been unas
suming. lie dwelt in a quiet boarding
house, and when its mistress got a well
to-do son-in-law and quit business lie
used to take his Sunday morning break
fast at the Terrapin Lunch,a plain res
taurant, where probably a terrepin was
never seen. Old Major Randall, of ttie
Lake Shore Railroad, was his compan
ion. He died soon after Cleveland
was made Governor. It was his oft
expressed ambition to live to see
"Grove," as he called him. President.
In 1863 he became Assistant District
Attorney and carried the burden of the
office for three years, to be beaten for
District Attorney at the close of his
term by Lyman K. Boss, his nearest
friend. They afterward became law
partners. He was made Sheriff of this
county by an accident. In fact, he
never had an office that he was not
forced into, lu 1569 David Williams,
superintendent of the Lake Shore Rail
road, wanted to run for Congress.
This district was close and he wouldn't
make the effort with any of the aspir
ants for the Sheriffalty. It was the
most important office to be filled and
there was a bitter contest for it. The
leaders got together and decided that
Cleveland must run to help Williams.
There wasn't much chance of an elect
ion, but they insisted that lie must
make the sacrifice for the party. He
was then regarded as a good lawyer,
with a good practice, but he became
the candidate aad not only helped
Williams,but squeezed in by a hundred
votes. During his term as Sheriff the
office was well administered and when
the term was finished Mr. Cleveland
went back to his law business.
HIS FINANCIAL START.
The fees of the Sheriff's office were
large and the income from it gave hira
his first financial start. He then made
money at the law and saved something.
His leputation is not that of a money -
getter and money-saver. Had he been
ambitious in this direction iie could
and would have been a rich man. In
1 18S1 he was forced to be a candidate
for Mayor. A popular revolt against
the methods that were lobbing the
city swept him into this office. The
Council was against him,but he vetoed
eyery obnoxious measure it passed and
his assaults upon the Aldermen were so
vigorous that they did not dare to pass
them over his objections.
A FOE OF ALL JOBS.
Here his veto of the street-cleaning
job is regarded as the real beginning of
his public career. Soon after he came
into ofiice the Council voted to award
the street-cleaning contract for live
years to George Talbot, a local politi
cian of power, at $422,500 a year.
There were several lower bids by thor
oughly responsible men. Mayor Cleve
land vetoed the award and severely con
demned the attempted waste of the
people's money. The contract was
subsequently awarded to the lowest
bidder.at SIOO,OOO. The amount saved
on this and an item for a sewer during
the first six months of his administra
tion was nearly $1,000,000. These acts
brought him into prominence andstart
ed him towards his present place. It
was on account of his fearless fight in
spite of large odds against public plun
derers that he was pushed and elected
by these people Governor. It is because
they know him to be perfectly honest
and incorruptible that to-night all men,
regardless of differing politcal affilia
tions, are re joicing over his successes.
Though his law office and his bachelor
quarters over there are silent, both are
saluted as the abode of a man who has
done well on a small beginning. If the
record of his life is soon told, his own
people point to it with pride and go
bond to the country that he will do ev
en belter in the futuie. This is the
tenor of all the speeches and of the talk
of the people.
ADVERTISE in the JOURNAL.
A PAPER FOR THE lIOMH 01 ROLF
Cleveland and Hendricks,
Democratic Mites
FOR
■■■■%
PRESIDENT
AND
VICE PRESIDENT.
FIXING- A FLY-SCREEN.
Man Again Proves His Super
iority Over Woman in Me
chanics.
Fie had a doubtful expression on his
' phiz as he entered a hardware store,
and lie spoke about the stove trade,and
several other matters before he finally
: said :
1 "I think it is time to put up my fly
screen doors."
"Certainly."
"You have springs, I suppose."
"Yes, sir."
"Have you a spring which I can ad
just ?"
"Wo have. Here is one which a
boy ten years old can put on. The
time for intricate springs has passed,
and simplicity is the rule."
"Let's see. I wonder if I can put.
that on ?".
"Of course you can. All you want
are a screw-driver and three screws.
Here—this end goes on the door—that
end on the casing. See ? When you
have it on,take this wire and turn here.
When the spring has the right force
drop thoe slots—thus. See ! Why, a
woman could put one of those springs
on with her eyes shut—price 15 cents.
Bones hadn't lost any of his doubt
ful expression as he started out. lie
walked home, feeling of his ear, and
trying to remember just what the dea
ler said, and in half an hour ho was at
work on the door. The dealer had held
the upper end of the spring to the
north west, while his door opened to the
northeast. He sat down and thought
and thought, and finally decided to try
it, any how Mrs. Bones came out and
helped liirn, and the spring was finally
put on.
After the spring was on Bones turn
ed and turned. The spring stiffened
and the door ft w open.
"That's just like you," she said as
he jumped back. "What on earth do
we want with a spring to keep the door
open ?"
"That's so—that's so. Let's take it
off and turn it end for end."
This was tried, but it was no good,
and Mrs. Bones cried oat :
"You might have known it ! It
takes a man with brains to put on a
spring !"
"And I've got more of 'eui right in
my heels than your whole relations
have in their heads !"
"Then put on that spring 1"
"I'm going to when 1 get ready.
There's no particular hurry as I can
see."
"Maybe it's tired," she sneered.
"And maybe you had better attend
to your mopping."
She went in and Bones tried that
spring six different ways. Then he
went off and borrowed a gimlet, and
inch auger, a crowbar, a jackscrew and
a pair of pinchers, and he tried six oth
er ways. lie turned the old thing un
til the tension lifted up one end of the
house, and lie looked from the front
gate to the alley fence for the ratchet,
but the door had no spring to it. He
put the spring on diagonally,crosswise,
lengthwise, top for bottom and bottom
for top, and about 1 o'clock in the af
ternoon Mrs. Bones came out and found
him pounding it with the ciowbar,
while the door had been wrenched a
part and heaved into the alley.
"I said you couldn't do it," she re
marked.
"Couldn't do what ?"
"Put on th.it spring."
"Who's tried to put on that spring ?
We don't need any door there,and I've
taken it aivay. It isn't at all likely
that wo will see three flies, hut if a
few do come around we aint going to
murder 'em. Spring ! I was just fool
ing you. That was a burglar alarm,
and the reason I didn't put it on was
because we didn't have anything to
burglarize. Even if we had I'd let 'em
come. A burglar can't live unless he
has a fair show.
The power developed by the explosion
of a ton of dynamite is equal to 15,005
foot-tons. Oiie ton of nitro-glycerine
similarly exploded will exert a power
of 65,452 tons, and one pound of blast
ing gelatine similarly exploded 71,050
tons.
A Complexionist.
Strolling up-town recently a reporter
for the New York Mail and Express
had his attention atti acted by the sigu
"complexionist" which was hanging
over the door of an inoffensiue-looking
dwelling house. Wondering what un
der the sun a complexionist might be,
he wandered in to satisfy his curiosity.
A French lady of medium height and
with charming conversational powers
received him in a small room fitted up
in a stylo that might indicate at first
sight either a drug store or a hair
dresser's saloon.
"A complexionist," said the lady, in
answer to the reporter's interrogation,
"is one who makes a study of the hu
man skin aud takes charge of the cus
tomer's complexion."
"But suiely there are not many
who "
"Oh, yes ; there are hundreds of the
fair sex who come here during the gay
season to be made up or have tlie skin
treated with delicate washes to prevent
tlie bad effects of gas, heat, and late
hours. But young ladies are not the
only ones tr°ated ; men—young and
old—are often found within these
walls."
"What is your usual mode of treat
ment V"
"That depends on the complexion; if
it is merely to he preserved, we advise
a little careful dieting and bathing in
elder-flower water. Nat a particle of
fit must me taken,as it injures the pol
ish of the skin. Here is a prescription
that will clean the complexion in a
very short time : A tablespoonful of
sulphur taken every other morning for
a week, then omitted for three morn
ings and taken again. A mixture of
powdered brimstone or diluded glycer
ine should be rubbed on the face at.
night and washed off in the morning
with soap and water iu which there is
a little ammonia. Washing the face
in spirits of camphor, glycerine, and
ammonia is also very good,and various
other methods are resorted to for this
end."
How a Home was Ruined.
A Husband's Drunken Spreeand.
its Terrible Results.
A dispatch from Atlanta, Ga., tells
this sad story ; A Mrs. Fairchild, once
a beautiful and accomplished woman of
Savannah, has just, died a miserable
death in one of Atlanta's haunts of sin.
The story which attaches itself to this
woman is peculiarly sad. Three years
ago she was a happy wife in a cosy home
in Savannah. Her husband, young,
handsome,educated,had a lucrative and
responsible position with the Central
Railroad in that city, and possessed the
respect and esteem of all who knew
him. About Christmas of 1881, while
on a drunken spree, he shot a young
man, who subsequently died. He was
arrested, placed in jail and tried. The
case against liira was a stubborn one,
and it required his home and everything
else he could accumulate to save his
neck. Ilis wife gave everything cheer
fully, and her grief, which wa%mani
fested during the trial, had great influ
ence with the judge and jury. The trial
resulted in a sentence of live year's im
prisonment. The parting between hus
band and wife when he was taken to
the penitentiary was deeply affecting.
With a hope ofsecunng a mitigation of
the sentence, she went to Atlanta, and
fell a victim to a well-known officer,who
professed his ability to aid her. She
took a downward road, took to drink,
and in a few weeks was a confirmed
drunkard. This step was followed by
others, until she found herself utterly
disgraced and sank to the lowest depths
of infamy. She died very suddenly,
without having been sick a moment,
ller husband was at Lowe's camp, on
the Chattahoochee river, and when Mr.
Lowe heard of the death of the con
vict's wife he caused two guards to
bring him to the city. The man knew
nothing of the downfall of his wife un
til lie found her dead in a house of sm.
Ilis grief was painful to witness,and as
lie stood beside the cofliu lie raved like
a madman. The kindness of the lessees
tor whom lie was working enabled him
to send the body to Savannah for buri
al. He has two children liying in that
city, hut it will be three years before
Fairchild can go home to them.
Terms, SI.OO per Year, in Advance.
The Editor was "In."
But the Man Who Wanted Him
Didn't Stay Long.
"Ls the editor in ?" askeil a wry
faced man, who stood six feet live inch
es in his socks, of the office boy of a
Sunday newspaper.
"I do not know," said the hoy. "I'll
ask him.'' lie was gone about ten
minutes, when he returned, smiling
blandly, and said : "I guess hf'a in.
He's in if you are the man he thinks
you are. Is your name Smithers ?"
"Yes. My name is Smithers, and I
reckon he won't be in, the cowardly
puppy, when he knows Jake Smithers
is after him."
"So you are Smithers, are yon ?"
said the bov.
"Yes, I'm Smithers. The same
Smithers that tlie gum started editor
called a liara m this morning's paper.
I've come to clean out the shop and
thrash that editor till he won't know
himself from a stuck pig- I reckon the
editor ain't in. now, is he ?"
"Oh, yes ! I'll show you up to his
room in a minute. lie told me to ask
you if your name was Smithers, and if
it was, to show you up. When I left
the room, he had two revolvers, a ten
pound weight and a sword lying on his
desk, and he told me to show you the
door to his room right away, and get
behind the base burner for safety as
soon as you went in. Itight this way,
sir. The editor's in, and he's anxious
to see you."
"Well, you tell the editor that I tfaid
he might go to Chicago, if he wants to.
He can kiss my foot. I hain't got no
time to fool away on hira." And Smith
ers hurried to catch the train.
The Housekeeper.
A Few Seasonable and Useful Hints
That are Worthy of a Trial.
Milk porridge is very nourishing if
it is thickened with arrow-root instead
of flour.
The odor of onions can be effectu
ally removed from the frying-pan by
boiling a little wood ashes and water
in it, or if you have no ashes, potash
or soda will do as a substitute.
Now is a good time to prepare mint
vinegar. Take pepjier or spearmint
leaves; wash them, and put them into
a large-mouth bottle; fill the bottle up
with vinegar ; have a cork that fits
closely. Let this stand tor three
weeks, then pour it through a muslin
cloth into a clean bottle, and it is
ready for use.
Never use soap in the water with
which you clean the looking-glass ; it
is almost impossible to polish the
glass if soap is used.
The following receipt for making
'cold cream' is said to be excellent:
To one ounce of glycerine allow ten
drops of carbolic acid ; add one ounce
of rose water.
I)o not let boiled potatoes stand in
the water a moment after they are
done; drain it all off ; cover the kettle;
some very painstaking cooks remove
the potatoes from the kettle, and,, af
ter laying a towel on a tin plate, put
the potatoes in it, cover it, and put
them in the oven to dry, leaving the
oven door open.
A dainty dish to serve with cake as
the last course at dinner, is made by
stewing prunes of the best quality un
til they are tender, and the pits will
slip out easily; stew them in as little
water as possible. Beat the whites of
eggs to a stiff froth ; add almost as
much sugar as if you were making
trosting; drain the water from the
prunes, mix them with the eggs and
sugar, and set in the oven to harden.
Serve cold, with cake and coffee.
A novel way to serye lettuce is, after
washing and looking oyer carefully, to
pour a dressing over it made by frying
out the fat from a slice of ham, cutting
the ham in small pieces before frying ;
when the fat is at the boiling point add
a cup ot vinegar, let it boil for a minute
or two. then pour over the lettuce; gar
nish with cold boiled eggs cut 111 rings.
An entree of great merit is made by
dipping slices of ripe tomatoes into a
batter made of Hour, sweet milk,aud an
egg, and then frying them a delicate
brown.
Cauliflower salad is an excellent en
tree. Boil the cauliflower in salted wa
ter ; when tender, which will be in a
bout half an hour, drain ever} drop of
water from it, let it become cold, then
arrange it in a salad bowl with a rich
mayonnaise dressing poured over it. It
may be garnished with small rings of
pickled beets or with slices of pickled
cucumbers; and,by the way,it is a good
plan to pickle a large jar of cucumbers
so that you can have them to use tor a
garnish, and to chop and add to the
dressing served with boiled fish.
NO. 29.
; NEWSPAPER LAWS
If subscribers order the diacontiuufctlon of
newspapers. the publishers may continue to
send them until all arrearage* are paid.
If subscribers refuve or neglect to take their
newspapers from the office to which they are sent
they are held responsible until they have settled
the bills and ordered them discontinued.
If subscribers move toother places withoutlnJ
forming the publisher, hud the newspapers ar ,
sent to the former place, they are responialble.
L
ADVERUBINQ RATES.
1 wk. 1 mo. 1 3 mos. 3 mos. 1 year
1 square *2 on * 4 001 $A no $6 00 $ A tie
>2 - 700 10 00 15 00 30 00 40 00
1 " 10 00 15 00 1 25 00 45 00 75 00
One Inch makes a square. Administrator*
and Executors' Notices f-J.50. Transient adver
tisements and locals 10 cents per line for first
insertion and 5 cunts per line for each addition
al Insertion.
The Mea With the Pig.
A few days ago two men,who were
afterward found to be Detroiters, ar
rived in a town about [fifty miles to
the west of this, leading a pig. It was
perhaps big enough and heavy
enough to lie called a hog, but they
termed it a pig, and as they turned it
over to the care of the landlord at
whose inn they proposed to rest for
the night one of the men explained :
'lsc awful careful with that pig.
He's a daisy—a new breed just from
Scotland. We've sold him to a farm
er out here for sf)o,and we don't want
anything to happen to him.'
The landlord locked the pig up and
then began to think and cogitate and
suspect. When the strangers had gone
to l>ed, he called in some of the boys
and said:
'l've twigged the racket; them two
fellows are sharpers, and that's a
guessing pig. To-morrow they will
give you a chance to guess at his
weight at ten cents a guess,and you'll
be cleaned out—only you won't! As
the fellows sleep we will weigh their
pig and beat their game.'
Nobody slept until the pig was tak
en over to the scalet. and weighed. He
pulled down 170 pounds to the hair,
and th 3 villagers went home and hunt
ed up their nickels and dreamed of
pigs and scales and sharpers through
the'remainder of the night.
Next morning the pig was led a
round in front, and, before starting off
on his journey, one of the owners re
marked to the assembled crowd :
'Gentlemen, I'm going to weigh
this pig directly. Maybe some of
you would like to guess on his
weight ? I'll take all guesses at ten
cents each, and whoever hits it gets
fifty cents.'
This provoked a large and selected
stock of winks, and smiles, but no one
walked up until the pig man said that
any one person could guess as many
times as he cared to, provided a dime
accompanied each guess. Then a rash
set in. Three or four merchants put
up fifty guesses each. A Justice of
the Peace took thirty. A lawyer said
about twenty would do for him. Be
fore there was any letup in the guess
ing about 600 had been registered and
paid for. Every soul of em guessed
at 170 pounds. It was curious what
unanimity there was in the guessing,
but the pig men didn't seem to notice
it. When all had been given a chance
the pig was led to the soales, and lo !
his weight was exactly 174 pounds !
'You see, gentlemen,' explained the
spokesman, 'while this animal only
weighs 170 pounds along about 11 o'-
clock's t night, we feed him about five
pounds of com meal in the morning
before weighing! You forgot to
take the matter into consideration !'
Then somebody kicked the landlord,
and he kicked the Justice,and the Jus
tice kicked a merchant, and when the
pig men looked back from a distant
hill the whole town was out kicking
itself and throwing empty wallets in
to the river.— Detroit Free Press.
t
Why He Felt Mean.
The Experience of a Man who was
Traveling in Florida.
Says a correspondent: If I eyer go
into a new locality again I will study
up my geography better than I did this
time, for my ignorance got me into a
most uncomfortable position. As the
the boat neared Sanford I was standing
with others on the deck, when a very
pretty young lady came up to me and,
with a sweet smile on her face, looked
up to mine with a pair of lovely eyes
and asked : 'Are you going to kiss me,
sir ?' If some one had offered to lend
me $lO I could not have been more sur
prised aad hardly knowing what to
say and in order to gain a little time, I
gasped out: 'Pardon, miss, what did
you ask ?' I felt that she knew I heard
her, but she said sweetly, 'Are you g>-
ing to kiss me to-night ?' There was
no misunderstanding her this time. I
heard her, and so did others, and I felt
the blood rushing into my face, and I
stammered out, 'I would like to accom
modate you, miss, I would truly, but I
have a wife and thirteen small childien
on board with me,and if my wife would
see me kissing you—' ,Kissing me, you
hateful old thing ! who asked you to
kiss me?' 'You did,' I yelled; 'you
asked me twice I' 'You old fool, I ask
ed you if you were going to Kissime—
Kissime City to-night; don't you know
anything V and off she went, and if ev
er anybody felt meaner than I did I
would like to exchange photographs
with him.
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