THE MILLHEIM JOURNAL,
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY BY
R. A. BUMILLER.
Office in the New Journal Building,
Penn St., near Hartni nil's foundry.
SI.OO PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE,
OR SI.BO IF NOT PAID IN ADVANCE.
Acceptable Correspondence Solicited
Address letters to MILLHEIM JOURNAL.
BUSINESS CARDS.
I I —s—
AHARTER,
_•
- Auctioneer,
MILLHEIM, PA.
JQR. JOHN F. HARTER,
Practical Dentist,
Office opposite the Methodist Church.
MAIN STREET, MILLHEIM PA.
• ——
t T) R * D * H * MINGLE *
Physician & Surgeon,
Offiloe on MUD Street.
MILLHEIM, PA
..
'"W" SPRINGER>
Fashionable Barber,
Shop oppoiaite the MUlheim Bunking' House,
MAIN STREET, MILLHEIM, PA.
GEO. S. FRANK,
Physician Surgeon,
REBERSBURG, PA.
Profession*! calls promptly answered. 3m
D. H. Hastings. . W. F. Reeder
J~J~ASTIN6S & REEDER,
AUornejs-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Alleghany Street, two doora east of
the office ocupied by the late firm of Yocum *
Hastings. ' j
U. T. Alexander. C. M. Bower.
JB BOWER,
Attorney-at-Lav,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office in Garman's new bulldiug.
GEO. L. LEE,
Physician?* Surgeon,
MADISONBURG, PA.
Office opposite the Lutheran Church.
C. HEINLE,
Attorney-at-Law
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Practices in all the courts of Centre county.
JlpocUl attention to Collections. Consultations
n'Gorman or English.
J.A.Beaver. J. W. Gapbart.
"gEAVER & GEPHART,
Attorneys-at-Lnw,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Alleghany Street, North of High Street
"GROCKERHOFF HOUSE,
ALLEGHENY ST., BELLEFONTE, PA.
C, G. McMILLEN,
PROPRIETOR.
Good Sample Room cu First Floor. Free
Buss to and from all trains. Special rates to
witnesses and jurors.
QUMMIN S HOUSE,
BISHOP STREET, BELLEFONT, PA.,
EMANUEL BROWN,
PBO'HUTOR.
Mouse newly refitted and refurnished. Ev
erything done to make guests comfortable.
Rates moderate. Patronage respectfully solici
ted.
J-RVIN HOUSE,
(Most Central Hotel in the city.)
CORNER OF MAIN AND JAY STREETS,
LOCK HAVEN, PA.
S.WOODS CALDWELL
PROPRIETOR.
Good Sample Rooms lor Commercial Travel
ers on first floor.
GTT. ELMO HOTEL,
flios, 317 & 319 ARCH ST.,
PHILADELPHIA .|
RATES BEDDCED TO $2.00 PER DAY.
The traveling public will still find at this
Hotel the same liberal provision for their com
fort. It is located in the immediate centres of
business and places of amusement and the dif
ferent Rail-Road depots, as well as all parts ot
the city, are easily accessible by Street Cars
constantly passing the doors. It
inducements to those visiting the city foi busl
* ne your palirormge respectfully solicited.
Jos. M. Feger, Propnetor.
TJEABODY HOTEL,
ethSt. South; of Chestnut,
PHILADELPHIA.
One Square South of the New Post
Office, one half Square from Walnut
St. Theatre and in the very business
centre of the city. On the American
YJRI European plans. Good rooms
FIOM 50ete to S3.UO per day. Remodel
ed and newly furnished.
W.PAINE, M. D.,
Owner A Proprietor.
R. A. BUMILLER, Editor.
VOL. 58.
ON A RUNAWAY
TRAIN.
"In the summer ef '7B I was promo
ted to passenger engine 40, the same
we are in now. It was, and is still,
one of the fastest engines on this line.
The road had been built only four or
live years, Out was already doing a good
freight and passenger business.
"The division that I ran over was a
long one—a hundred and twenty miles.
The "boys" called it the ridge, because
it was up grade from both ends to
nearly the middle. The grade was
pretty heavy for a part of the way, so
when there happened to be a loug train
an extra engine, called the 'helper,' was
ordered out to help the regular engine
up the grade. At the top was a tank
and a side track where the 'helpers'
uncoupled. It was the duty of 49 to
take the west-bound express over this
division.
"One evening there happened to be
several coaches of excursionists beside
the regular train, and consequently an
extra engine, but not the regular 'help
er,' as it happened, had been ordered
up to help me over the grade. I felt
rather uneasy when I saw 'No. 14'
back down and couple in front of me.
"No. 14 was a very good engine, as
good as any one on the road for power,
weight and speed, but she was in
charge of an engineer whom I distrust
ed, Dick Rogers, a large heavy-built
and head-stroug man, much too fond
of liquor. He went on his 'sprees'
when off duty, and so had been allow
ed to keep his place ; but it was whis
pered among the 'boy3' that he had had
touches of tremens already.
"You can never quite trust a man
with an appetite for liquor ; put that
down in black and white.
"I became moie uneasy when I
mounted Dick's engine to talk a
minutaand compare watches; for I
detected the smell of whiskey in his
breath, and saw that his face, was red
and his eyes blood shot.
"At length 'AH aboard 1' was given,
the gong struck, and we pulled out.
Side-tracks, streets, houses and signal
lights were soon passed. As we got
out on the main line, we quickened
speed and soon were going up the
grade at a rate of about thirty miles an
hour.
"The west- bound express made but
two Btops in the entire distance to the
'summit.' We made these all right on
time. Everything was working as!well
as usual. It had grown dark ; and as
the forward engine prevented my see
ing the track ahead, I leaned back after
a time on my cushion. My own sou,
Johnny, was firing for me then.
"Poor bov I He was only nineteen.
I didn't want him to go on the road,
but he begged so hard that I took him
on to fire for me. Well,l sat watching
him as he now and then replenished
the fire, and listening to the drum-like
sound of the exhaust. You know that
noise, so unvaried and continuous,
tends to quiet and benumb the senses.
I must have sat so for a minute or
two.
"Suddenly, Johnny called out to me;
'Ain't you running faster than usual,
father V' he shouted.
"I started and looked out. The en*
gine was swaying violently; and
though I could see but little in the
darkness, I knew that we were on the
level stretch and getting near the side
track, at the summit where No. 14 was
to unhook from us.
"What did Dick mean by not slow
ing up f I at once shut off, then
sprang on the air brake.
"There was a rapid slackening of
speed, for a few minutes—then a sharp
and a shrill hiss !
"The rubber hose had burst; the
yacum brakes were useless and, the
speed at once quickening again, we went
tearing past the side track, and entered
on the long stretch of down grade be
yond, where, with the patent brake*
burst, the effort of both engines would
be needed to stop or hold the train.
"Angry and astonisned that Rogers
could be so utteily careless,! bade John
ny set the tender brakes, and opened
the front window of the cab, to snout
to the foolhardy man ahead. Mean
time the train conductor, or some one
else, was pulling furiously at the bell
cord from the rear of the train. The
in3tantl had opened the sash I knew
by the sound of the forward engine
that she was plunging ahead under full
pressure of 6team. Twice I shouted,at
the top of my lungs.
"But the roar was too heavy. Then
I whistled 'down brakes.' As if in re
sponse, a wild laugh rose from the
front engine ; then a jar seemed to go
through the train ; and I felt we were
going faster than eyer. I blew again
louder and longer than before. This
time it was answered by three shrieks
from the other whistle, followed by a
numter of the most awful yells that ev
' er came out of a human throat I
L "I knew then what was the cause of
MILLHEIM, PA. THURSDAY, MAY 2D. 1884
the reckless speech. Rogers was
drunk, crazy drunk, and was running
away with us down a seventy-foot
grade 1 And we were powerless to
stop him !
'•What a situation. Vet this was
not the worst ! As we had not stop
ped at tho summit, wo were now run
ning ahead of time, and were liable to
run into a train coming up the line. Jt
was of no use to reverse my engine a
gainst the wholo force of the train, and
that of the other engine besides. Once
more I blew the signal for 'down
brakes.'
"Just theu a light shone ahead. It
was the lamp of the station where we
usually passed an up-freight. The
head light of the freight was not there!
For an instant I felt faint and sick.
I saw the danger from which it seamed
there could be no escape. The freight
usually reached the station before we
did ; but we were so much ahead of
time that it had not arriyed. Yet it
could not be very far away, and with
our heavy train running at lightning
speeed, crowded with passengers as it
was, a collision must occur !
"For an instant I felt paralyzed
Then it occurred to me that perhaps
the freight might be a little behind
time, and possibly had not yet passed
the next station below. That was our
only chance for life. With trembling
hand 3 I tore a leaf out of my memoran
dum book, and upon it wrote :
"For heaven's sake, clear the line !
We've lost control of the train—Wil
liams."
"Wadding this up with a lump of
coal in ray handkercnief, I had just
time to thiow is as we swept by the
telegraph office at the station. By good
luck it hit the door, and I saw it *open
as we rushed out of sight. If the
freight had not yet passed the next sta
tion below, it could be ordeied to the
side track there, and so clear the road
for us.
"Just then, through the open win
dow, I saw Rogers' fireman—a slight
little fellow—coming along the run
ning-board beside the boiler of our en
gine.
"For God's sake !" lie cried—though
I could scarcely hear him above the
roar—"Stop her ! stop her ! Rogers is
blind drunk ! He'll kill us all I"
"I saw now that our only chance for
life was to board Rogers' engine, over
power hira and eet control of it. It
was a life and deatn business. But
one man had better die than a whole
trainful.
"By this time the conductor and
brakeman had come forward, but were
so excited ami alarmed that they were
good for nothing to heln me. They
clung to the platform-rail of the express
car, behind the tender, and shouted :
"Stop her ! stop her !"
"Boys," I said to Johnny and Jim
(Rogers' fireman),"we must get aboard
that other engine and knock Rogers
down. Take the coal sledges and couie
after me."
"The prospect of a hand-to-hand
conflict with a madman was a terrible
one. But I dared not stop to think of
my own chances. The heavy bar which
reached from njy own engine to the
other was about six feet long, and the
only way to cross over was to get as
tride the bar and slide along on it. I
led the way, first throwing my wrench
over on the tender ; then I cautiously
got down on the bar and began to work
my way across. It was a desperate
act, and the tremendous swaying a>d
jerking nearly thew me off several
times. But I kept a tight grip on the
bar and got across, climbed up the ten
der, and made my way across the coal.
"There stood Rogers, steadying him
self, as the locomotive leaped and
bounded ou, with his back to me. lie
had not seen me ; and I determined to
wait an instant till lie opened the fire
door again, then knock him down and
tie him—for I was no match for him
physically. I heard nothing of Johnny
or Jim, but d.ired not turn to look for
them.
"Suddenly, as I stood there poising
myself to spring on Rogers, we swept
like lightning around the curve and—
Merciful Heaven ! Less than a mile
down the track gleamed the headlight
of the freight.
"Rogers saw it, too, anu the awful
danger broke through the crazing spell
of the liquor. With a strange, scared
cry he settled back upon his cushion
limp and helpless.
"But I scarcely noticed him. There
was not a moment, even for disabling
him. With one bound I was in the
cab and blew the whistle, then threw
back the reversiug lever. The shock
of the reverse steam almost lifted the
engine from the track and me from my
seat. The big drivers spinning around
on the rails looked like circles of living
fire, and enveloped the engine in a
perfect shower of sparks. Nobly now
did old 14 strugjle and groan, as if
herself conscious of the terrible dan
ger.
"'Twas vain ! As well we might
A PAPER FOR THE HOME CIRCLE
hnve tried to stop an avalanche or op
pose a flood. Nearer and nearer wo
came to that dreaded light.
"Onward we drove, and in another
moment 1 saw that to stop was impos
sible, that tho collision would come.
Distinctly I closed the throttle and
turned to jump. Then 1 thought of
those I was leaving to their awful fate.
If I stuck to my post, I c|uld perhaps
lessen the shock and save many lives
even if 1 lost my own. Better one
homo desolate than a score, and again
I threw back tho reversing lever, brac
ing myself to meet tho shock, when
suddenly, I saw the headlight deflect—
dart to one side !
"Could it he V
"Yes, praised be God for His mercy
to us that night, the freignt was going
on the side-track at L station ; and
seeing the danger its engineer had
barely time to quicken up and get his
train off the main line when, with di
minished speed, we ran by.
"To stop the train and pull Rogers
off the engine was my first duty. This
done I went back to my own engine,
which I found in charge of Jim alone.
"Where's Johnnie ?" was my first anx
ious question.
"Alas ! the hardest blow wis still in
store for me. Johnny, poor boy, in
trying to cross, on tin connecting bar,
to help me overpower Rogers,had been
thrown off. I knew in a moment that
he must have been killed ; for wo were
running seventy miles an hour, I was
obliged to go on. But two hours later
tho station- folks found him, seven
miles back, lying mangled aDd dead at
the foot of some rocks a few yards from
the track."
Why tho Drummar was not
Drumming.
Among the stories told at the Twen
ty-fifth reunion was the following good
one : One of the drummers, while the
regiment was on the move, had a pen
chant for foraging on his own account,
and the chickens had to roost high to
escape hi s far-reaching hands. When
ever night overtook them this drummer
had a good supper provided for himself.
On one occasion he had raked in a
couple of turkeys and had put them in
to his drum for convenience in carry
ing. When the regiment was halted
for the night, the colonel immediately
ordered dress parade,and the drummers
were expected to beat up. The forager
made his drumsticks go, but the quick
eyed colonel noticed that he was not
drumming.
"Adjutant," said the colonel, "that
mart isn't drumming. Why ain't he
drumming ?"
The adjutant stepped lip to him, say
ing, "Why ain't you drumming ?"
"Because, said the quick-witted
drummer, "I have got two turkeys m
my drum, and one of 'em is for the
colonel."
The adjutant went back and the
colonel asked, "What is it ?"
"Why,he says he has got two turkeys
in his drum, and one of 'em is for the
colonel."
Up to thispoint the. conversation had
been carried on sotto voice, but when
the adjutant reported, the colonel rais
ed his voice so that all could hear,
"What! Sick is he ? Why didn't he say
so before ? Send him to his tent at
once."
A Saloon Keeper's Gains.
"I have made a thousand dollars
during tho last three months," said a
saloonkeeper, boastfully, to a crowd of
his townsmen.
"You have made more than that,"
quietly remarked a listener.
"What is that ?" was the quick re
sponse.
"You have made wretched homes
women and children sick and weary of
life. You have made my two sons
drunkards," continued the speaker,
with trembling earnestness ; "You
made the younger of the two so drunk
that he fell and injured himself for life.
You have made their mother a broken
hearted woman. Oh yes, you have
made much—more than I can reckon
up, but you'll get the full count some
day— yoiCll yet it some time /"
A Chinese Compositor.
A Chinese compositor can not sit at
his case as our pi inters do, but must
walk from one case to another constant
ly, as the characters needed cover such
a large number that they can not be
put into anything like the space used
in the English newspaper office. In
setting up an ordinary of manu
script the Chinese printer will waltz up
and down the room for a few moments
and then go down stair? for a line of
lower case. Then he takes the eleva
tor and goes up into the third story af
ter some caps, and then out into the
woodshed after a handful of astonish
ers. The successful Chinese composit
or dosen't need to be so very intelligent
but lie must be a good pedestrian. lie
may work and walk around oyer the
building all day to set up a stickful,
and then half the people in this country
couldn't read it after,all.
An Army Experience.
How an Old Veteran Eacapod An*
nihilation and Lived, to Impart a
Warning to Others.
A pleasing occurence which has just
come to our notice in connection with
the New York state meeting of the
Grand Army of the Republic is so un
usual in many respects that we venture
to reproduce it for the benefit of our
readers.
Captain Alfred liensom, of New
York, while pacing in the lobby of the
armory .previous to one of the meetings,
suddenly stopped and scanned the face
of a gentleman who was in earnest can
versation with one of the Grand Army
officers. It seemed to him that he had
seen that face before .partially obscured
by the smoke of battle, and yet this
bright and pleasant countenance could
not be the same pale, and death like
visage, which he so dimly remembered.
But the recollection, like banquo's
ghost, would not "down" at command
and banted him the entire day. On the
day following he again saw the same
countenance, and ventured to speak to
its owner. The instant the two ycte
i ans heard each other's voices, that in
stant they recognized and called each
other by name. Their faces and forms
had changed, but their voices were the
same. The man whom Captain lien
som had recognized was Mr. \V. K.
Bage, of Bt. Johns, Mich., a veteran of
the liUN. Y. Light Arti'lery anil both
members of Buruside's famous Expe
dition to North Carolina. After the
first greeting was over. Captain Rea
son! said:
"It hardly seems possible, Sage, to
see you in this condition, for I thought
you must have been dead long ago."
"Yes, Ido not doubt it, for if lam
not mistaken, when we last met I was
occupying a couch in the hospital, a
victim of 'Yellow Jack' in its worst
form.''
"I remember. The war seems to
have caused much misery since its close
than when it was in progress," replied
the Captain. "I met old comrades fre
quently who are suffering terribly, not
so much from old wounds as from the
malarial poisons which ruined their
constitutions."
"I think so myself. When the war
closed I returned home and at times I
would teel well, but every few weeks
that confounded 'all-gone' feeling
would come upon me again. My nerv
ous system, which was shattered in the
service,failed me entirely and produced
one of the worst possible cases of nerv
ous dyspepsia. Most of the time I had
no appetite; then again I would become
ravenously hungry, but the minute I
sat down to eat I loathed food. My
skm was diy and parched, my flesh
loose and flabby. I could hold nothing
on my stomach for days at a time, and
what little I dul eat failed to assimilate.
I was easily fatigued; my mind was de
pressed: I was cross and irritable and
many a night my heart would pain me
so I could not sleep, and when I did I
had horrid dreams and frightful night
mares. Of course, these things came
on one by one, each worse than the
other. My breath >vas foul, ray tongue
was coated, my teeth decayed. I had
terrific headaches which would leave
my nervous system completely shatter
ed. In fact my existence, since the
war, has been a living death, from
which 1 have often prayed for release."
"Couldn't tho old surgeon do >ou
any good V"
"I wrote liirn and he treated me, but
like every other doctor, failed. They
all said my nerve was gone and without
that to build upon 1 could not get well.
When I was at my worst, piles of the
severest nature came upon me. Theu
my liver gave out and without tho use
of cathartics I could not move my
bowels at all. My blood got like a
stream of fire and seemed literally to
burn me alive."
"Well you might better have died in
battle, quick and without ceremony."
"llow many times I nave wished I
had died the day we captured New
berne !"
"And yet you are now tho picture of
health."
"And the picture is taken from life
lam in perfect condition. My nerve
tone is restored , my stomach reinvigo
ratcd, my flesh is hard and healthy ; in
fact 1 have new blood, new energy and
a new lease of life wholly as the result
ot using Warner's Tippecanoe. This
remarkable preparation, which I con
sider the finest tonic and stomach re
storer in the world has overcome all
the evil influences of malaria, all the
poison of the army, all traces of dys
pepsia, all mal-assinidation of food,and
indeed made a new man of me."
The Captain remained silent for a
while evidently musing over his recoll
ections of the part. While lie again
raised his head ho said :
"It would be a godsend if all the vet
erans who liaye suffered so intensely
and also all others in the land who are
enduring so much misery could know
of your experience, Sage, and the way
by which you have been restored."
And that is why the above conversa
tion is recounted.
Terms, 81.00 per Year, in Advance.
Couldn't Fool tho City Editor.
"Would you be kind enough to pub
lish a notice of our Sunday school ?"
asked a grave gentleman of the city ed
i itor of the llrouklni Eagle. "And you
I might incidentally speak of me as the
! superintendent.'' "Certain Iv,"'replied
! the city editor, opening his note book.
I "What is tho amount ?" "I should
think half a column enough," replied
the grave inan."Oh! I don't begrudge the
space; but how much will coyer the to
tal loss?" "I don't understand you,"
said the grave man. "Well, when did
tho directors make the discovery ?" ex
claimed the city editor, impatiently.
" Did you confess ? or did they examine
the'books ?" "I am at a loss to know
what you mean. lam the superinten
dent of a Sabbath school, and I'd like a
notice in your Sunday issue,,' explain
ed the grave man. "How ain I going to
write a notice without the facts V' de
manded the city editor. "1 want the
name of the bank, the amount of the
loss, the way it was discovered,and the
1 amount of your bond. Giye me those
and 1 can till ia about your being pros
trated by the blow and the surprise to
a large circle of friends." "I greatly
fear that we are at cross purposes,' said
the grave man, mildly. "I am a re
spectable citizen!" "Ah," exclaimed
the city editor. "That's one point.
Never ever suspected before. Always
led a life of probity and was the trust
ed custodian of untold wealth. Fell in
an evil hour. How much? What's the
amount of your last defalcation ?"
"My good sir," protested the grave
man, "you entirely misapprehend me
I am not a defaulter !" "Not a defaul
ter!" ejaculated the city editor, leaning
back in astonishment. "What are you
clamoring around here after a notice
for? Git now!" and tho city editor
grabbed the grave man by the collar and
elbow and shoved liira down stairs.
"Who was he?" asked the managing
editor. "A snide !'' retorted the ruftled
city editor. "He came around here try
it gto play himself off for a Sunday
school superintendent, when he didn't
know the first principles of the racket,
lie*may act it off on soma young man,
but be couldn't play it on me for a
cent!"
Items of Interest.
South Carolina lias Cl 3 lunatics in
her asylums.
Ncal Dow, the temperance reformer,
is 80 years old.
Five hundred artists now have
studios in New York City.
This country uses 30,000,000,000
clothes pins yearly.
Massachusetts courts imposed 48,
BTG sentences last year.
Sawmills were first used iu Europe
in the Fifteenth century.
The Chinese written language con
sists of 100,000 characters.
The cost of the German Army now
reaches $116,000,000.
Chicago has 59,2T 1 pupils and 1,-
ITS teachers in her schools.
One of Boston's dog-catchers killed
4,052 canines in five years.
California exports a large number
of bees to France every year.
Knights of Labor lodges are in
creasing all over the country.
In 30 years England's daily papers
have increased from 14 to 179.
Chicago contributed $40,000 for the
sufferers from the Ohio flood
Of the 1,500,000 Masons in the
world one-half are on this side of the
Atlantic.
Odd Fellows of America and Great
Britain expended last year $4,000,000
in relief.
Snowbanks along the Central Paci
fic tracks will have to be dislodged
with powder.
A horse trotted a quarter of a mile
on the ice,at Portland,Maine,in thirty
six seconds.
During the part year there were fif
teen hundred and seventeen murders
in the United States.
Petroleum wells to the number of
2,890 were put down in 1883, against
3,260, in 1882, and 3,852 in 1881.
France offers SIO,OOO reward to
any one who economically applies e
lectricity to the heating of dwellings.
Young wife .• 'Dear, why are you
eating so much more of my cake than
usual to-night? Is it nicer than it was
last night?' Young husband: 'l—my
darling—l—well,to tell you the truth,
I bet Toozie $5 tliat I weighed more
than he did, and we are going down
to the store to settle it to night.' i
NO. 22.
NKWBrAPBR LAWS.
If *nlvcrib>r* or<l<*r tho discontinuation of
newsrajtcrs. the mmllshm may continue to
semi tlieni until all arrearages arc paid.
Jf suhMTilvrs refuse or neglect totaketlielr
newspapers from the ofllee to which they are>ent
thoy are held responsible until they have settled
the bills and ordered them discontinued.
If subscribers move toother places without in"
forming the publisher, and the newspapers nie
sent to the former place, they are respon&lble.
L 1 ■ 1 _
ADVERTISING BATHS.
1 wk. l mo. 3moi (linos. 1 year
1 square $ 2uo *4(#> |soo #6OO ♦ >
% " 7 (X) 10 Ml 15 00 3000 4000
1 " 1000 15 00 25 00 45 00 7500
One Inch makes a square. Administrators'
and Executors' Notices 92.50. Transient adver
tisements and locals 10 cents per line for first
insertion and 5 cents per line lor each addition
al insertion.
HUMOROUS.
There are numerous new styles of
parasols displayed this Spring, but all
will be worn just high enough to take
out the eyes of reckless pedestrians.
"There is a sudden advance in leath
er," remarked the youth who dived
out of the front door as the irate pa
rent's boot readied after him.
'Mr. Jones,' said little Johnnie to
that gentleman, who was making an
afternoon caM, 'can whisky talk!" 'No,
my, child, how ever can you ask such
a (piestion !' 'Oh ! nothing, only ma
said whisky was beginning to tell on
you.'
It was getting very, very late, but
the rash young man with a rich tenor
voice lagged her to name one more
song. 'Then sing 'The morning's
freshly breaking, away, away, away!"
He didn't know the song,but acted at
once on her timely suggestion.
'Yes, sir,' said the politician to the
caucus manipulator, 'the office should
seek the man, and not the man the of
fice.'
'Exactly,' said the c. m.
'But'in this case when the office
starts out to seek the man '
'Yes, sir.'
'I want you to fix it so that I will
be the first man that it will find.'
'I didn't like your prayer very
much this morning,' said a deacon to
the minister.
'No?' answered the minister, 'and
what was the matter with it V
'Well, in the first place, it was too
long, and aside from this it contained
two or three expressions which I
thought were scarcely warranted.'
'I am sorry, deacon,' the good man
responded, 'but it might be well to
bear in mind that the prayer wasn't
addressed to vou.'
Once upon a time a traveller arriv
ed at a hotel and found all the rooms
engaged. Here was a sad case. But
his ready wit did not desert him. He
went into the gentleman's room, and
standing iu the middle of the floor,
said: Gentlemen, I am glad to see so
many of you here to-night. lam a
book agent, and I want to show
you—" Before he could utter anoth
er word,the whole company had taken
to the woods, and he had his choice of
apartments.
A Mistaken Theory.
It is a general idea that if a child has
a fall striking its head, and shows ten
dency to sleep thereafter, every effort
must be made to keep it awake. Now,
according to one of our best physicians
this theory is a mistaken one,and much
harm is done in trying to prevent sleep.
Rest is what the brain of the sufferer
wants more than anything else, and
what might have passed off in a few
hours, may result in inflamation and
terminate in death. Do uot feel fright
ened, mothers, if your boy rolls down
stairs, bumps his head with force, and
then shows a disposition to sleep ; lay
him on the bed, loosen his clothes, and
apply thin cloths wet with witch hazel
or water to his head. Keep his feet
and limbs warm with irons, or bottles
filled witli hot water. Darken the room,
and keep it as quiet as possible, and
when the doctor comes nature will have
aided bim in his treatment by her
"sweet restorer," sleep.
Preaching and Practice.
'See here, Mr. Blank, what are you
going out to-night for?' asked Mrs. B.
with a threatening look.
'Big political meeting to-night,' ex
plained Mr. B. apologetically.
'Political meeting, eh?' echoed Mrs.
B. 'You have been going to political
meetings every night for five weeks,
and if it had not been for me you
would have worn your boots to bed
every time.'
'But just think how nice it woule be
if I should get nominated for some
thing ! Think of the loads of money I
could rake in and the nice furniture
and new clothes and sealskin sacques
and—'
'That will do,' interupted Mrs. B
'I have heard that before. You made
a speech last night at a ward meeting
I see.'
'Yes,' responded Mr. 8., with par
donable pride.
'And I see by the two or three lines
notice of it in the newspaper ; that the
burden of your remarks was 'the office
should seek the man and not the man
the office.' Now, you just take off *
that overcoat; sit right down, and if
any office comes and knocks I will let
it in.?
He sat.