Millheim Journal. (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, May 22, 1884, Image 1

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    THE MILLHEIM JOURNAL,
PUBLISHED tVSRY THURSDAY BY
R. A. BUMILLER.
Office in the New Journal Building;,
Penn St., near Hart man's foundry.
•1.00 PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE,
on or NOT PAID IN ADVANOB.
Aceeptaße Correspoadeflcs Solicited
Address letters to MILLHETM JOURNAL.
BUSINESS CARDS.
A BARTER,
Auctioneer,
MILLIIKIM, PA.
DR. JOHN F. HARTEU.
Practical Dentist,
Office opposite Uie Methodist Church.
MAIN STREET, MILLIIEIM PA.
JY. D. H. MINGLE,
Physician & Surgeon,
j Offiiee on Main Street,
MILLHEIM, PA
W, J. SPRINGER,
Fashionable Barber,
Bhop oppoialte the Millhelra Banking House,
MAIN STREET, MILLHEIM, PA.
GEO. s. FRANK;
Physician A Surgeon,
REBERSBURG, PA.
Professional calls promptly answered. 3m
D. H. Hastings. W. F. Reeder
JJABTINQS & REEDER,
Atlorneis-at-Lav,
BELI.EFO.NTE, PA.
Office on Allegheny Street, two doors east of
the office ocupled by the late firm of \ocum
Hastings.
C. T. Alexander. C. M. Bower.
A BOWER,
Attorney-at-Law,
BKLU9QVTS, PA.
Office in Garman's new building.
GEO. L. LEE,
Physician & Surgeon,
MADISONBURG, PA.
Office opposite the Lutheran Church.
YY-LL. 0. HEINLE,
Attorney-at-Law
BELLKFONTE, PA.
Practices in all the courts of Centre county.
Special attention to Collections. Consultations
in German or English.
• J.A.Beaver. J. W.Gepbart
"GEAVER A GEPHART,
Attorneys-at-law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Alleghany Street, North of High Street
JGROCKERHOFF HOUSE,
ALLEGHENY ST., BELLEFONTE, PA.
C. G. McMILLEN,
PROPRIETOR.
Good Sample Room on First Floor. Free
Buss to and from all traluv Special rates to
witnesses and Jurors.
QUMMINS HOUSE,
BISHOP STREET, BELLEFONT, PA.,
EMANUEL BROWN,
PBOFRIBTOB.
House newly refitted and refurnished. Ev
erything done to make guests comfortable. {
Kates moderate. Patronage respectfully solici* ;
ted. 54y
JRVIN HOUSE,
(Most Central Hotel In the city.)
COBNER OF MAIN AND JAY STREETS,
LOCK HAVEN, PA.
S.WOODS CALDWELL
PROPRIETOR.
Good Sample Rooms for Commercial Travel
ers ou first floor.
GT. ELMO HOTEL,
Nos. 317 & 319 ABCII ST.,
PHILADELPHIA.
RATES REDPCED TO $2.00 PER DAT.
The traveling public will still find at this
Hotel the same liberal provision for their com
fort. It is located in the Immediate centres of
business and places of amusement and the dif
ferent Rail-Road depots, as well as all parts ol
the city, are easily accessible by Street Cars
Constantly passing the doors. It offers special
inducements to those visiting the city for busi
ness or pleasure.
Your patronage respectfully solicited.
Jos. M. Peger. Proprietor.
PEABODY HOTEL,
9thSt. South of Chestnut,
PHILADELPHIA.
One Square Sooth of the New Post
Office, one half Square from Walnut
St. Theatre and in the very business
centre of the city. On the American
and European plans. Good rooms
FIOM 50CT8 to $3.00 per day. Remodel
ed and newly furnished.
W.PAINE, M. D.,
Owner A Proprietor.
®fe MilMtti innmi
R. A. BUMILLER, Editor.
VOL. 58.
Pat and the Frogs.
The spring had come
With Its gt'ntle rain,
And the Frog*, from
Their beds of mud,
Waked up aualn:
Tuned up their pipes,
Of various tones.
From the shrill piccolos
To the sturdy trombones.
Thev were chanting In concert.
With strains of great glee,
When Pat came along,
On a pretty big spree.
No money nad he
The "crathur" to buy.
And o'>! he was feeling
So terribly dry!
So the only chance left
For a drink, that he found.
Was the water that flowed
Iu the Jolly Frog's pond,
He came to the brink,
With a "skip and a leap,"
Wbeu a tempting small voice
Cried; "knee deep! knee deep!"
"Thank you klhdly," said Pat,
"Ye're right well behaviu,'
So I'll take uff me brogues.
An' me feet I'll be lavln',"
So he took off his boots,
And at once threw them down,
When a sepulcheral tone
Said: "You'll dr-r-r rown! You'll dr-r-rroim/
"Howly Biddy!" said he.
"it's me narves ye'd be thryln!
Ye re a mutherin' set
Of thaves at yer lyin'!
Me name's Paddy Flint).
O' the Country o' Claff yeur!
So kom out. Ivery wan.
An I.tl take the scalp aff yer!
If there's iver a wan of yees,
Has any spunk!"
But the unswer he got '
Was : "You're dr-r-nmA-! dr-r runk! unk I
"Drunk, am I ? faith !
Au' its my way of thinkln',
If I'd lire as yees do.
I'd always be drinkin!
Not wa-tner but whiskey,
I'd live in. be-gun!
Will yees howld yer hush, iver?"
"More r-r-r-rnm I More r-rr-ruw /"
Pat picked np a stone.
Which he threw with bis might,
And the voices at once
Were silenced outright.
So he put on his brognes,
On his way cogitating,
Their want o! politeness,
And manners berating.
Said he: "I'd go ball that'
Ther'd be no more bother,
If whiskey they lived in,
Instld of cowld wa-ther!"
LOST ANBFOOND.
"Where I lost it I don't know,"
said poor Mis. Velvete, sobbing pit
eously ; "but it don't make any differ
ence, at auy rate. Somebody has pick
ed it up, and that's an end of it. For
all I know, someone picked my pocket.
Boston is a dreadfully dishonest |
place.
It was to a neighbor that Mrs. Vel
vete spoke. She bad just come home
from the city, where she had been to
draw her quarter's income, and it was
her purse containing the money of
which she spoke.
"Fifty dollars, my dear," she sighed
"and change out of five dollars I
bought my return ticket and a lunch
with ; and it was in the brown velvet
bag Jane—that's my niece in Lincoln
sent me last Christmas, and poor Hen
ry's portrait and hair in a locket. I'd
taken it off my chain to get the ring
mended, for it didn't seem safe. Oh,
yes, and my keys on a ring ! It's
dreadful. I'll never get over it, for I
shall have to run in debt for food and
fire for three months, and I shall be be
hind hand ever after. And my poor
husband's hail and portrait, too !"
"Why don't you advertise ?" asked
the neighbor.
"Send more borrowed, money after
what's gone ? I know too much for
that," said Mrs. Velvete.
Home sue went, sad and dispirited,
and having lived on oatmeal porridge
for a week, and on tea for two days,be
gan to think of the loan she must ask
for sooner or later. Old Joe Barker
knew she was honest, and would lend
her something, but it would be with
heavy interest. After all, that was
better than to trouble her few friends,
and perhaps break their friendship.
She placed her "papers"—her proofs
that so much money was hers—before
the old gentleman,who,peering through
nis spectacles, demurred, doubted, and
and finally counted out a certain sum.
She lived miserably enough for the rest
of the three months, but in spite of
that the next quarter's income was
spent when it was due ; and thus, as
she had prophesied, trouble deepened.
At last, head over ears io debt, her lit
tle house, her one earthly possession, no
longer really hsrs, but to be sold at
auction next week, her little capital in
the hands of old Joe Barker, poor old
Mrs. Velvete knew not which way to
turn for succor.
"I'll go and see if they don't want a
servant up at the "big hotel," she said
to herself. "I could cook and wash
dishes. I suppose I shall feci pretty
well eut up, of course, but I can't
starve."
And Mrs. Velvete, tying her shabby
bonnet, under her chin, and wrapping
herself iu a shawl that bad long since
seen its best days, took her way up the
road to the "big hotel."
"We've got a pook," the proprietor
said good-naturedly ; "and I suppose
you couldn't do our cooking to suit, at
! any rate ; but I shouldn't wonder if
' we'd like to have you help. I'll let
i you know on Thursday."
i Then he looked at his watch, and
" Mrs Velvete thanked him, and went
away again ; but the hotel proprietor
, did not send for her, after ail. The
MILLIIEIM, PA. THURSDAY, MAY 22 1884.
day of the sals WAS veiy near ; and il
nally the pior old lady, her eyes swoll
en with weeping, took her way to Bos
ton, and to a servants' registry office,
where she sat all day waiting for an
employer. The ladies wanted younger
women—more active women. They
feared that this pale old woman, with
her downcast air,would fall ill on their
hands. Bome of the girls laughed at
her amongst themselves ; but one
young Irish girl said to herself : "She
looks like grandmother, poor body 1"
and when she went out for her lunch
remembered her.
"It's only a few cakes and an apple,"
she said, with her pretty smile, as she
put something wrapped in a newspaper
into her hand. "Sure it's weary sit
ting here and dreading to lave, for fear
the very lady you want will come and
go in the meanwhile."
"You're a good gitl 1 Thank you,"
said old Mrs. Velvete.
And tears fell on the cake uud fruit
as she ate them—tears of gratitude.
She was really too poor to buy a lunch.
When she had swallowed every
crumb she put on her glasses, and be
gan to read the bit of newspaper.
There was something about a murder.
There was an advertisement of cheap
goods for ladies. There was a column
of lost and found notices ; and as she
skimmed this her eye lighted on the
following :
Found, October—, a bag containing
money and other articles. The con
tents of the btg make it particularly
intere3tiug to the advertiser,who wish
es to see the loser, who will kindly
call at No. 40 Street, Boston,
Room No. 5.
"Good gracious !" cried Mrs. Vel
vete, "it's my bag I" She looked at
the calender on the wall. "The paper
must be two years old," she thought,
"but I wilt go and see the advertiser
and folding the scrap carefully in her
glove, she hurried out of the oftlce.
It was in one of the business streets
near the Mausion Housa that she found
No. 40, and was taken in a lift, to room
No. 5. The door was opened by a boyi
who, in reply to her questions,said that
he did not know anything about an ad
vertisement, but would inquire, aud
Mrs. Velvete waited io some trepida
tion, looking about her at the evidence
of a large and prosperous business, at
tbe clerks busy at their desks, at the
messenger boys hurrying in and out,
at the boxes and pigeon-holes innumer
able, and at last was summoned to the
inner office, where a benevolent-look
ing man of fifty five or sixty arose to
greet her.
He b >wed ; Mrs. Velvete made a lit
tle curtsey, and began :
"It's two years and a half ago, and
I've just got the paper. Here it is.
My bag was brown velvet, and the
money was fifty dollais, and poor Mr.
Velvete'a likeness, in a locket, was in
the bag. Oh, sir, if you found it, and
have kept it,you'll save a poor old soul
from starvation."
"I found it ; I have it still." said
the gentleman. "Now, madam,whose
portrait was in the locket, and what is
your name V"
"The portrait was a likeness of my
husband, Henry Velvete, when he was
young," said the old lady. "I'm Mrs.
Velvete ; I used to be Miss Orchard.
We married down in Hampshire, but
bought a small property in Middlesex
soon after, and moved there to live on
it. Mr. Velvete had losses. lie
wasn't a good business man, though ho
was the best of husbands. And the
little money he left is all gone now."
"Madam," said the old gentleman,
rising, "did you ever hear your hus
band speak of a brother—a younger
brother ?"
"Oh, yes," said Mrs. Velvete,—
"Richard ; he went to Australia and
died there. Husband thought a good
deal about him. We named the boy we
lost after him."
The gentleman looked at her gravely,
then turned to a tray ou the table and
took from it a card.
Mrs. Velvete looked at it through
her glassos.
"Richard Velvete," she read aloud.
"Why it can't be Henry's brother 1"
"It is, indeed, madam," said Rich
ard Velvete. "For years I sought in
yain for my brother and at last heard
that he was dead. I believed you dead
also until I found that bag,but the like
ness in the locket was so good, and the
initials on the back, "11. V. to S. 0.,"
so conclusive, that I advertised steadi
ly for nearly six months. I had given
up all hope of finding you ; but now
we shall not lose each other again. I
have so few relatives that lam covet
ous of them.
"Wonders will never cease,*' wrote
Mrs. Velvete to an old neighbor, some
time after. "Here am I living like a
queen, in style I never expected to see,
keeping house for brother Richard and
his son ; and all because of the scrap
of old newspaper good little Nora Mur
phy gave me,with cakes and apple in it.
And, by the way, I've sought her out,
and she is our little waiter now, and
she slia'l have a good home and kind
ness, and everything I can give her as
long as I live."
"iflto
A PAPER VOR THE HOME CIRCLE.
SHE HELD THE PORT.
There were brave girls among the
early French colonists of Canada. The
following striking instance is related of
a mere child defending a fort seven
days against assaulting savages
One Octoler morning in 1092, the in
habitants of Vercheres, a settlement
twenty miles below Montreal, were iu
the field at work. There were but
two soldiers within the fort. The
commander aud his wife were absent.
Their daughter, Madeleine, a girl of 14,
stood on the landing with d hired man,
when she heard firing.
"Run, mademoiselle 1 run !" cried
the man. "Here comes the Iro
quois I"
Looking around, the girl saw the In
dians near at hand. She ran for the
fort, and the Indians, seeiug they could
not catch her,fired at her. The bullets
whistled round her, and "made the
time seem very long," as she after
wards said.
As soon as she neared the fort, she
cried out, "To arms 1 to arms I" hop
ing that she would get assistance.
But the two soldiers were so frighten
ed that thev had hiddeu in the block
house.
When Madeleine reached the gate of
the fort, she found two women there
crying for their husbands, who were in
the fields and bad just been killed.
Madeleine forced them in, aud shut the
gate. She instantly went to examine
the defeuces of the fort,and found that
some of the palisades had fallen down,
leaving holes through which the enemy
could easily eniei.
She got what help she could and set
them up. Then the little commander
repaired to the block-house, where she
found the brave garrison of two, one
man hiding in a corner, the other with
a lighted match in his hand.
"What are you going to do with that
match ?" said Madeleine.
"Light the powder, and blow us all
up," answered the soiler.
"You are a miserable coward !" said
the girl, "Go out of this place !"
People are al ways likely to obey, in
time of panic, the one person who
shows resolution and coolness. The
soldier did as Madeleine bade him.
She then flung aside her bonnet, put on
a hat and took a gun.
Her whole "force" consisted of tbe
above mentioned soldiers,her two little
brothers, aged; 10 and 12, and an old
man of 80—and some women and chil
dren, who did nothing but set up a con
tinual screaming, as soon as the firing
commenced.
"Let us fight to the death," said
brave Madeleine to her little brothers,
who seemed to have jiossessed no little
share of her own courage. "We are
fighting for our country and our reli
gion. Remember our father has taught
vou that gentlemen are born to shed
their blood for the service of God aud
the king."
Madeleine now placed her brothers
and the soldiers at the loop-holes,
where they fired at the Indians lurking
and dodging about outside. The sav
ages did not know how large the garri
son was, and therefore hesitated to at
tack the fort; and numbers of them fell
before the well-directed shots of the
soldiers.
The girl-commander succeded, after
a while, in stopping the screaming of
the women and children, for she was
determined that the enemy should per
ceive no sign of fear or weakness ; she
flew from bastion to bastion to see that
every defender was doing his duty ;
she caused a cannou to be fired from
time to time, partly to intimidate the
savages,' and partly ir. 'nope that
the fc noise might convey intelligence
of the situation, and bring them
help.
Thus the fight went on, day after
day, night after night, the heroic
girl keeping up her viligant exer
tions so constantly that it was 48 hours
before she caught a wink of sleep.
For a whole wvek Madeleine held the
fort, with no favoring circumstances
but the stormy weather, which preven
ted th 3 Indians from setting fire to the
wooden defences. At the end of that
time reinforcements comedown the riv
er and "raised the siege."
He Didn't Figure Like That.
A German tailar in a village in Cana
da failed a few days ago and called a
meeting of his creditors. An investiga
tion seemed to show that liis liabilities
were $4,000, and his assets SI.OOO.
"It thus appears," said one of his
creditors, "That you can pay 25 cents
on the dollar."
"Vhell, I doan' figure like dot," re
plied the tailor.
"How do youjfigure ?"
"Vhy, I pays feefty cents on der dol
lar."
"How can you do that when your as
sets only allow one-fourth V"
"Vhell, I prings der odder moDey
down from der house."
He was not permitted to fail.
HIDING WATERS.
The whirling waters of Niagara hide
an dark tragedies. A few years Mr. Ved
dce induced Mr. Pearson to go driving
with him. An hour later they drove
on to Goat Island and after that no one
knows what they did, except so far as
Pearson's body indicates it.
They lived next door to each other,
Vedder in a handsome stone house aud
Pearson in a smaller frame house. At
supper their absence caused some unea
siness, and as the night wore on their
familiesjbecarae ahirrned. James Ved
dei,a brother,and James Howard Pear
son, a son,began a search late at night.
About midnight they Darned that the
missing man had driven on to Goat Is
land and no one had seen them return.
Securing the aid of Policemen
Michael Burns and William Roll in they
climbed over the gate and went across
the bridge to the island. The night
was sharp and the wind blew the icy
spray back from the falls, clouding the
lenses of the dark lanterns carried by
the officers. The roads were muddy,
the darkness intense and the scene so
desolate and uninviting that t he search
ers shuddered as they ihought of what
they might find. On the northwest
corner of Goat Island there is a sort of
proraonotary with steps leading] down
to a long bridge which spans a branch
of the falls to Luna Island. Tlieretied
to a tree, was found;the horse driven
by Vedder. The animal was encased
in a thin sheet of ice, which had been
formed by the breeze spray blown back
from the falls. Whe released, the
horse could not move. Policeman
Burns led the party on to Luna Island.
The ground was cohered with snow and
ice. The roar of the falls drowned all
sound,and the men hesitated when they
looked around.
Bums saw two dark objects on the
snowy bank at the extreme edge of the
abyss.
The first was Pearson's body.
Burns could not recognize it. The
face was covered with blood which had
been half frozen as it flowed from two
ugly pistol wounds. The whiskers
were burned by the powder, ar.d the
sight was ghastly in the extreme.
Burns shouted back, "Here's one of
them ; here's Vedder."
Howard Pearson came up, and as
the rays were turned again on the
frightful visage the boy cried, "No,
that's my father," and tried to throw
himself on his father's body. He was
carried away, and James Vedder was
told of the discovery,but not allowed to
see the corpse.
The search was resumed, and the
other dark object was found to be the
clothes of Vedder. Underneath was
his vest ;on top was his overcoat, his
undercoat and scarf and beside them
was his hat.
Leading rrorn the neatly piled gar
ments were a man's footprints in the
yielding snow, allowing that Vedder
had walked straight off the bank into
the fall itself. There was no return
tracks, the pistol was not found and
Vedder evidently placed It in his pock
et after firing the deadly shots.
Pearson's body lay beneath a stunted
cedar tree with the head towards Cana
da. His arji.s were extended, the
bands were open and tbe face wore,
when washed, a peaceful look. There
were no indications of a fight and the
murder seemed to have been committed
in cold blood without warning to the
victim. When the deed was doue Ved
der, ashamed to face his friends, com
mitted suicide.
Pearson was married to Vedder's
sister. His first wife was also Ved
dei's sister. lie leaves a wife and
four children. They live on Main
street, next door to Vedder's house,
which is one of the finest in the place.
Pearson was cashier of the |New York
Central railroad, a position he held for
20 years.
From Tipperary.
Two hot-tempere i Celts from Battle
row were in Yorkville Police Court
yesterday. One had stabbed the other
with a night key. The man who did
the stabbing said,in extenuation of the
case.
'He called me a flamin' sucker.'
'What it lie did V said the J ustiee.
'Oi'll allow no mau to call me that.'
'Why not ? What is a sucker ?'
'Shure, Oi don't know.'
' How do you know but what it is a
complimentary term ?'
'lt ma/ be, yer honor* but Moike rav
er mint it for a compliment.'
'Don't yon know that natives ot the
great State of Ulinoise are called suck
ers V
'Oi did not, but Oi do now. Oi'rn
"shure Moike r.iver mint to call me a na
tive av that place, for well he Jknows
Oi'm from Tipperary.'
- >
Did it ever occur to you, among tbe
general fluctuations of prices, that um
brellas go "up" oftener than anything
else.
Terms, SI.OO per Year, in Advance.
How He Did It.
A Cowboy's Method of Stopping
the Stampede of a Herd.
A Texas correspondent wiites: 44 0u
of the slickest tilings 1 saw in my tray
els was a cowboy stopping a cattle
stampede. A herd of about 600 or 80C
had got frightened at something and
broKeaway pell-mell with their tails in
the air and the bulls at the head of the
procession. But Mr. Cowboy didn't
get excited at all when he saw the herd
was going straight for a high bluff,
where they would certainly tumble
down into the canon and be killed. You
know when a herd like that gets to go
ing they can't stop, no matter whether
they rush to death or not. Those in
the rear crowd those ahead, and away
they go. I wouldn't have given $1 per
head for that herd .but the cowboy spur
red up his mustang, made a little de
tour, came in right in frout of the herd
cut across their path at a right angle,
and then galloped leisurely on to the
edge of that bluff, halted and looked a
round at that wild mass of beef coming
right toward him. He was as cool as
a cucumber, though I expected to see
him killed, and was so excited I could
not speak. Well, sir, when the leaders
had got within about a quarter of a
mile of him I saw them try'Jo slack up,
though they could not'do it very quick.
But the whole herd seemed to want to
stop, and when the cows and steers in
the rear got about where the cowboy
had c'ut across their path I was sur
prised to see them stop aad commence
to nibble grass. Then the whole herd
stopped, wheeled, straggled back, and
went to fighting for a chance to eat
where the rear guard was. You see,
the cowboy had opened a bag of salt he
had brought out from the ranch to give
the cattle, galloped across the herd's
course and emptied the bag. Eyery
critter sniffed that line of salt, and, of
course, th4t broke up the stampede.
But I tell you it was a queer sight to
see that man out there oa the edge of
that bluff quietly rolling a cigarette
when it seemed as if he'd bten lying
under 200 tens of beef in about a min
ute and a half."
—
Items of Interest.
Counterfeit $5 gold pieces arc in
circulation.
There are 85,000 Hebrews in New
York city.
Th 3 Empress of Austria sets type
with grace and skill.
General Grant neyer bites off the
end of a cigar.
The number of volumes in the
British Museum is 1,300,000.
The Prussian people believe that
Bismarck is superstitious.
James G. Blaine sedulously avoids
the Senate Chamber.
A cremation society has been or
ganized in Boston.
The Prince of Wales's private debts
are pressing him again.
The new City Hall in Philadelphia
has already cost $8,246,900.
English colleges have suffered great
ly by the Agricultural depression.
The Episcopalians will build a
$500,000 Cathedral at Albany, N. Y.
A Jersey cow was recently sold at
auction in New York for $6,200
A colored Salvation Army has just
been organized in Charlotte, S. C.
President Arthur seldom wears the
same necktie two days in succession.
The Georgia State Democratic Con
vention will meet in Atlanta on June
18.
There are supposed to be about 1,
000,000 species in the animal king
dom.
The total number of newspapers in
New York State is 1,523, against 1,
399 in 1883.
A good way to increase the efficien
cy of the public schools is to pay
teachers better salaries.
Near Vienna, Ga., two women run
their own farm. They raise cotton
and garden vegetables.
A lady stenographer in New York
has bought and paid for a handsome
property out of her earnings.
Four boys of Springfield, 0., have
run away from home and gone west
to inuihilate the Indians.
In Massachusetts there were five
times as many signers to the woman
suffrage petitions this year as last.
In Montana the law prohibits a
woman from marrying until she is 18
years old, and a man cannot marry
i until he is 21.
NO. 21.
NEWSPAPER LAWS.
If subscribers order the discoutintaatKHi of
newspapers the minlishers may continue to
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HUMOROUS.
A Boy's Pocket.
e Buckles, andjmttous, and top, and
. marbles and pieces ot string, a screw
e from a rusty old mop, and scraps of a
0 fayorita sJing. Slate pencils, and part
j of a lock, some matches and kenels of
corn, the wheels of a discarded clock, '
B and remains of a mitten all torn. A
t jack-knife or two, never sharp, some
1 pieces of bright colored glass, the rim
of an ancient jews'-harp,pens,fish-hooks
J and pieces of brass. Old nails, "sweefc
l ies," cbippings of tin, with bits of a
. battered-up locket. All these,and much
. more, are within the depths of a little
, boy's pocket.
r He Couldn't Stand It.
"Why are you home so early?" asked
. a wife of her husband. "Is the singing
school exhibition out already ?"
"No; not more than half out," he re
plied.
| 44 Why didn't you stay to the close?
Weren't you interested in the singing?"
44 1 was nntil a sixteen-year-old boy
| attempted to sing 4 Larboard Watch
Ahoy.' Then I thought I would come
home, go to bed and try to forget all
1 about it."
-4M*.
| What it^Taught.
Mrs. Blikson— 4t £ hope this, Mr. Blik
son, will be a warning to you."
Mr. B'ikson— 44 What are you talking
- about, anyhow ?"
Mrs. Blikson—"An item in this pa
per. It says •• 4 A man in Springfield,
Me., being invited to drink, poured out
• a glass of whiskey, looked at it a mo
> ment, and then dropped dead.' Now,
1 just remember that, Mr. Blikson, the
next time you are asked to ;drink. It
teaches a terrible lesson."
Mr. Blikson— 44 Yes, indeed. Delays
are dangerous."
At the Stock Exchange.
I ■
44 1'11 have so consult with a doctor.
I'm not well."
"What is your trouble ?"
44 1 sleep to much. As soon as I drink
eight or ten glasses of beer, I can't
keep my eyes open. I think I ought to
be bled."
"I can tell'what will spare your eyes,
and keep them open; Just let me sell
you, at par, for cash, a thousand shares
of some railroad stocks I've got, and
you will not be able to get a wink of
sleep as long as you have them on your
hands. What is riches without health?"
Life Among the Mormons.
44 My dear," said a Mormon wife to
her husband, "I should think that you
would be ashamed of yourself, flirting
with that Miss'B. as you did in church
to day."
"Flirting with her ?" he replied in
astonishment. "Why we haye been en
gaged for more than three months. It's
all over town."
"Oh, I beg your pardon," said his
wife indifferently. "It you are engaged
to her, I suppose it is all right. When
does the happy event occur ?"
Consoling.
Mrs. Minks— 44 Who would have
thought that that lovely Mrs. Blank,
who was a bride only a few years ago,
should now be suing for a divorce ?"
Mrs. Flinks— 1 "I do not blame her.
Her husband abused her terribly."
Mrs. Minks— 44 Why, when they were
married her husband was just as devpt
ed as dear John is to me. I would die
if I thought that in a few years he
could change that way."
Mrs. Fliuks— 44 0h, don't alarm your
self, he won't."
Mrs. Minks— 44 You are sure, then ?"
Mrs. Flinks—"Certain. All your
mouey*is in your name."
Ho Struok it Rich.
4 That's my uncle oyer there,' said a
fast young man to his fast companion ;
4 we're pretty near broke and I'll strike
him for a raise. He wdn't go back on
me. Bet s*oll the drinks I'll strike him
for a ten and "get it.'
The bet was uiade and the young,
man 4 struck' his uncle. A long conver
sation 6!>sued. Finally the soung man
returned,his face flushed with triumph
and some bills in his hand.
4 I told you I'd make it,' he said,
'maybe we can make a hit on roulette
wifh tbis.'
Then his companion looked at the
bills, and there were only two $1 notes.
4 But you didn't get $lO, did you ?' he
inquired.
4 Yes,ldid,' replied the nephew, as
his tone changed to one of sadness,
1 4 only 1 had to take the other $8 out In
, good advice.'
A sheep epidemic prevails in La
1 Prarie, Canada, which entirely de
prives the sheep of wool and renders
its meat unfit for food,
i m • ■ 11
1 A member of the Zaneaville militia
' who participated in the Cincinnati ri*
ot has become insane from excitement.