THE MILLHEIM JOURNAL, PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY BY R. A. BUMILLER. Office in the New Journal Building, Penn St.,nearHartinan's foundry. SI.OO PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE, OR $1.25 IF NOT PAID IN ADVANCE. Actable Corrcsponience Solicited Address letters to MILLHEIM JOURNAL. B US I.WE S S CA I! D S. A II ARTE R, Auctioneer, MILLHEIM, PA. JOHN F. II AFTER, Practical Dentist, Office opposite the Methodist Church. MAIN STREET, MILLHEIM PA. D. H. MINGLE, Physician & Surgeon, Offllco on Mam Street. MILLIIEIM, PA J. SPRINGER, Fashionable Barber, Shop oppoisite the Millheim Banking House. MAIN STREET, MILLHEIM, PA. JT) R - GEO. S. FRANK, Physician & Surgeon, REBERSBURG, FA. Professional calls promptly answered. 3in D. H. Hastings. W. P. Reeder JJASTINGS & REEDER, Attorney s-at-Law, BELLEFONTE, PA. Office on Allegheny Street, two doors east of the office ocupied by the late firm of Yocum A Hastings. C. T. Alexander. C. M. Bower. Attorncy-at-Lnw, BELLEFONTE, PA. Office in Garman's new building. -jQR GEO. L. LEE~ Physician & Surgeon, MADISONBURG, PA. Office opposite the Lutheran Church. C. HEINLE, Attorncy-at-Law BELLEFONTE, PA. Practices in all the courts of Centre county. Special attention to Collections. Consultations in German or English. J.A.Beaver. J. W. Gephart. ~P>EAVER & GEPHART, Attorneys-at-Law, BELLEFONTE, PA. Office on Alleghany Street. North of High Street ■JgROCKERHOFF HOUSE, ALLEGHENY ST., BELLEFONTE, PA. O. G. McMILLEN, PROPRIETOR. Good Sample Room on First Floor. Free Buss to and from all trains. Special rates to witnesses and jurors. QUMMINS HOUSE, BISHOP STREET, BELLEFONT, PA., EMANUEL BROWN, PROPRIETOR. House newly refitted and refurnished. Ev ervthing done to make guests comfortable. Rates moderate. Patronage respectfully solici ted. 5-1 y JRVIN HOUSE, (Most Central Hotel in the city.) CORNER OF MAIN AND JAY STREETS, LOCK HAVEN, PA. S. W OODS~OALD WELL PROPRIETOR. Good Sample Rooms for Commercial Travel ers on first floor. Q 'j LMO HOTL, Aos, 317 & 319 ARCH ST., PHILADELPHIA. RATESRETOCETTQS2.OO PER DAT. The traveling public will still find at this Hotel the same liberal provision for their com fort. It is located in tlie immediate centres of business and places of amusement and the dif ferent Rail-Road depots, as well as all parts of the city, are easily accessible by Street Cars Constantly passing the doors. It offers special inducements to those visiting tlie city for busi ness or pleasure. Your patronage respectfully solicited. Jos. M. Feger. Proprietor. pEABODY HOTEL, 9thSt. South of Chestnut, PHILADELPHIA. One Square South of the New Post Office, one half Square from Walnut St. Theatre and in the very business centre of the city. On the American and European plans. Good rooms from 50cts to $3.00 per day. Remodel ed and newly furnished. W.PAINE, M. D., 46 m lf Owner & Proprietor. WIIHIMI——■ — T ■—— I ■>M MMI I——Ml I——— —■ I rw tm mm m WMWI ■ MAW M MI A A urn - "~-—r MM mut i<— mmmammmtmimm <■■■■■ Hl mm m mmmmmtm ■— ■ —■ ■■■———■—■ \mmmmmm mi N ll——l—l IWU.MILJ- R. A. BUMILLER, Editor. VOL. 58. THE TRAMPS. A woman and man ;she, pallid and wan. And with sad eyes, hollow and fasting ; His glassy and marred by the drunkards re word," TImO sti liabout him are .• casting. With the death-eager look of that terrible thirsts That has borne him and torn him down from the first. As they stand in their shame by the bright kitchen flame, with despair in each shivering motion, What a story 1 read of man's madness and greed. , And of women's angelic devotion— jg()f the wonderful love of two ill-mated lives. Which stil. in its storm-trampled embers survives. Does her memory stretch from that poor bloat ed wretch Far back into days that were golden. When his love ilrsf breathed, seemed a treas ure bequeathed, For which she was ever beholden.' Surrounds him still the Illusion of yore Through which women behold the men they a ilore? Ay! tnerc as they stand, she touches his hand— rf he hand of the sot and the coffer— And a gleam or old grace lights the sad,shrunk en face As she turns to the food that we offer. And uivo him the larger share—wolflsliiy thrust To his lips ere her hunger has broken a crust. Then, their nigs closer bound their chill frames arouud; They pass on the way of the vagrant; For wretches so mean in good homes to be seen Would be a transgression most fragrant; But the woman half turns, with the wave of the hand, ... Ami a sad, thankful look that is simple and grand. And I look through the panes as the brief day wanes. And the shadows of night are blending. And watch through the snow, on the highway below. The two figures slowly wer.ding: A woman,whose love can all wretchedness span And'the coarse, shattered wreck, of what once was a man. The Power of Kindness. Quiet enough is the quaint old town of Lain bo rough. Why all this bustle to-day ? Along the hedge-bound roads which lead to it, carts, chaises, vehic les of every description are jogging a long, filled with countrymen ; and here and there the scarlet cloak or straw bonnet of some female, occupy- ing a chair, placed somewhat unsteadi ly behind them, contrasts gayly with the dark coats or gray smock frock 3 of the front row. From every cottage of the suburbs some individuals join the stream, which rolls on increasing through the streets till it reaches the castle. The ancient moat teems with idlers, and the hill opposite,usually the quiet domain of a score or twoof peace ful sheep, partakes of the surrouuding agitation. The voice of the multitude which surrounds the court-house sounds like the murmur of the sea, till suddenly it is raised to a sort of shout. John West, the terror of the surrounding country,tlie sbeep-stealeraiii burg lar, has beeu found guilty. "What is the sentence ?" is asked by a hundred voices. The answer is : "Transportation for life." But there was one standing aloof on the hill, whose inquiring eyes wander ed oyer the crowd with indescribable anguish, whose pallid cheek grew more and more ghastly at every denuncia tion of the culprit, and who, when at last the sentence was pronounced, fell insensible upon the green sward. It was the burglar's son. When the boy recovered from his swoon, it was late in the afternoon ; he was alone. The faintest - tinkling of the sheep-bell had replaced ttie sound of the human chorus of expectation, and dread, and jesting ; all was peace ful ; he could not understand why he lay there, feeling so weak and sick. He raised himse'f tremulously and look, ed around ; the turf was cut and spoilt by the tramping of many feet. All liis life of the last few mouths floated be fore his memory ; his residence in his father's hovel with ruffianly comrades ; the desperate schemes he had heard a9 he pretended to sleep on his lowly bed ; their expeditions at night, masked and armed ; their hasty returns ; the news of his father's capture ; his own remo val to the house of some female in the town ; the court, the trial, the con demnation. The father had beeu a harsh and cru el parent, but he had not positively ill used the boy. Of the great and merci ful Father of the fatheiless, the child knew nothing. He deemed himself a lone in the world. l r et grief was not his pervading feeling, nor the shame of beiug known as the son of a transport. It, was revenge that burned within him. He thought of tlie crowd which had come to feast upon his father's agony ; he longed to tear them to pieces ; and he plucked a handful of grass upon which he lent. Oh, that lie were a man ! that lie could punish tliera all— all—the speclators first, the constables, the judge, the jury, the witnesses—one of them especially, a clergyman named Leyton, who hod given his evidence more positively, mors clearly than all the others. Oh, that lie could do that man some injury—but for him, his father would not have been identified and convicted. Suddenly a thought occured to him —his eyes sparkled with fierce delight. "I know where he lives," he said to himself ; "he has the farm and parson age of Millwood. I will go there at once—it is almost dark already. I will MILLHEIM, PA., THURSDAY, MAY 15., 1884. do as I onco heard father say lie did to the squire. Yes, yes, he shall burn for it ; he shall get no more fathers transported." To procure a box of matches was an ensy task, and that was all the prepara tion the boy made. The autumn was far advanced. A cold wind was beginning to moan a mong the almost leafless trees, and George West's teeth chattered, ind his ill-clad lunbs crew numb, as he walked along the fields leading to Millwood. "Lucky it's a dark night. This fine wind will fan the flames nicely," he re peated to hirasi If. The clock was striking nine, hut all was quiet as midnight. Not a soul stirrliog—not a light in the parsonage windows, that he could see. lie dared not open the gate, lest the click of the latch should betray him ; so lie softly climbed over ; but scarcely had he dropped on the other side of the wall, before the loud barking of a dog start led him He cowered down behind the hay-rick scarcely daring to breathe ; expecting each instant that the dag would spring upon him. It was some time before the boy dared to stir ; and, as his courage cooled, his thirst for revenge somewhat subsided also, till lie almost determined to return to Lam borough ; but he was too tired, too cold, too hungry—besides, the woman would beat him for staying out so late. What could he do ? where should he go ? and as the sense of his lonely and forlorn condition returned, so did also the affectionate remembrance of his father, his hatred of his accursers, his desire to satisfy his vengeance ; and, once more courageous through anger, he rose, took the box from his pocket and boldly drew one of them across the sand-paper. It flamed ; ho stuck it hastily in the stack against which lie rested—it only flickered a little, and went out. Iu great trepidatian young West once more grasped the whole of the remaining matches in his hand and ignited them, but at the same instant the dog barked. lie hears the gate o pen, a step is close to him, I he matches are extinguished, an 1 the lad makes a desperate effort to escape—but a strong hand was laid upon his shoulder, and a deep, caltn voice inquired "What can have urged you to such a crime V" Then calling loudly, tho gentleman, without relinquishing his hold, som obtained the help of some farming men, who commenced a search with their lanterns all about the farm. Of course they found no accomplices—nothing at all hut the handful of half-consumed matches the lad had dropped ; and he all the time stood trembling, and occa sionally struggling, beneath the firm but not rough graip of thi m uter who held him. At last the men were to return to the house ; uul thither, by a different path, was George led; they entered a small, poorly furnished ro ra. The walls were covered with b inks, as tie bright flame of the lire revealed to the anxious gaze of the little culprit. Tho clergyman lit a 1 imp and surveyed his prisoner attentively. The lad's eyes were fixed on the ground, while Mr. Levton's wandered from his pale,pinch ed features, to his scanty, ragged at tire, through the tatters of which he could discern tlie thin limbs quivering from cold ot fear ; and when, at last impelled by curiosity at tlie long silence George looked up, there was something so sadly compassionate in the stranger's gentle look, that the boy could scarcely believe that he was really the man whose evidence had mainly contribut ed to transport Lis father. At the tri al he had been unable to see his face, and nothing so kind had ever gazed upon him. His proud, bid feedings were already melting. "You look half starved," said Mr. Ley fori, "Draw near the fire. You can fit down on that stool while I ques tion you ; and mind you answer me the truth. lam not a magistrate, but of course can easily hand you over to justice if you will not allow mo to ben efit you in my own way." George still stood twisting his rag ged cap in his trembling fingers, and with so much emotion depicted in his face,that the good clergyman resumed, in still more soothing accents: "I have no wish to do you anything but good, my poor boy. Look up at me, and see if you cannot trust me. You need not he thus frightened. I only desire to hear the tale of misery your appearance indicates, to relieve it, if I can." Here the young culprit's heart smote him. Was tLis the man whose house he had tried to burn ? On whom he had wished to bring rum, and perhaps death V Was it a snare spread for him to lead to confe-sion ? But when he looked on that grave, compassionate countenance, he felt that it was not. "Come, my lad, tell me all." George had for years heard little but oaths, and curses, and ribald jests, or the thieves' jargon of his father's asso- \ P \ PER FOR 'i iftiUOMK CIUCf.E ciates, and had been constantly cuffed and punished j but the better part of his nature was not extinguished ; and at those words from the mouth of his nemy, he dropped on his knees, and clasping his hands, tried to speak, but could only soli. He had not wept be fore during that day ot anguish; and now his tears gushed forth so freely, his grief was so passionate, as he half j knelt, half rested on tlie floor, that the good questioner saw that sorrow must have its course ere calm could bo re stored. The young penitent still wept, when a knock was heard at the door, and a lady entered. It was the clergyman's wife ; he kissed tier as she asked bow he had succeeded with the*wicked mm iu the jail. "He told me," replied Mr. Leyton, "that he had a son, whose fate tormen ted him more than his punishment. Indeed, Ins mind was so distracted re specting the youth that he was scarcely able to understand my exhortations. He entreated me, with agonizing ener gy, to save his son from such a life as lie had led, and gave mo the address of a woman in whose house he lodged. I was, however, unable to find the boy, in spite of many earnest inquiries." 4 I)id yon hear his name ?" asked the wife. "George West,was the reply. At the mention of his name, the bov ceased to sob. Breatless lie heard the account of his father's last request ; of the benevolent clergyman's wish to ful fill it. He started up, ran toward the door, and endeavored to open it. Mr. Leyton calmly restrained him. "You must not esctpe," he said. "I cannot stop here. I cannot bear to look at you. Let rue go !" The lad said this wildly, and shook himself away. "Why, I intend you nothing but kindness." A new floou of tears gushed forth, and George West said, between his sobs : "Whilst you were searching for me to help me, I was trying to burn you in your house. I cannot bear it." He sunk on Ins knees,and covered his face with both hands. There Was a long silence ; for Mr. and Mrs. Leyton were as much moved as the boy who was bowed down with shame and penitence, to which hither* to he had been a stranger. At last the clergyman asked : "What could have induced you to com mit such a ciiine V" "Rising suddenly in tlie excitement of remorse, gratitude, and many other feelings new to him, he hesitated for a moment, and then told his story. He related his trials, bis sins, bis sorrows, bis supposed wrongs, bis burning an ger at the terrible fate of his only pa ent, and his rage at the exultation of the crowd ; his desolation on recover ing from his swoon ; his thirst for ven geance ; the attempt to satisfy it. He spoke with untaught, child like simpli city, without attempting to suppress the emotions which successively over came liiin. When he ceased,the lady hastened to the crouching boy, and soothed him with gentle words. The very tones of her voice were new to him. They pierced his heart more acutely than tlie fiercest of the upbraidings and denun ciations of his old companions. He looked on his merciful benefactors with bewildeud tenderness. He kissed Mis. Leyton's hand then gently laid on liis shoulder. lie about like one in a dream who dreaded to wake. He became faint and staggered. He was laid gently on a sofa, and Mr. and Mrs. Leyton left him. Food was shortly administered to him ; and after a time,when hii senses had become sufficiently collected, Mr. Leyton returned to the study, and ex plained holy andbeautiful things,which were new to the neglected boy, of the great yet loving Father ; of Ilim who loved the poor, forlorn wretch equally with the richest, and*noblest, and hap piest, of the force and efficacy of the sweet beatitude, "Blessed are the mer ciful, for they shall obtain mercy." I heard this story from Mr. Leyton during a visit to him in May. George West was then head-ploughman to a neighboring farmer—one of tlie clean est, best behaved, and most respected laborers in the parish. It is the way of attaining to heav en that makes profanescorners so will ing to let go the expectation of it. It is not the articles of tlie creed,but the duty to Hod and their neighbor, that is such an inconsistent, incredible le gend. .. The churches of New York cost $3, 000,000 a year, the amusements $7,-' 000,000 and the city government sl3, 000,000', or $3,000,000 more than it costs to save and entertain the citi zens. Faithful Moth'-rs. How much there is sometimes in a single word. One word can often move the heart deeper than the whole of an eloquent sermon. Speak the word "Household," or ! "Fireside," or "Home," to one who is | wandering friendless, homeless, and, perhaps, in a strange land, and how quickly the tears will start, the bosom heave and the lips quiver. Memory goes back with lightning speed to the days of childhood, when the loved household gathered an unbroken band around the fireside in the dear obi home. The happy voices that are scat tered far away, or hushed in the silent dormitory of the dead,are plainly heard by memory's ear, and above the rest sounds the loving mother's voice, as with one of the sweet songs of Zion she sang her weary child to sleep. As memory brings up so faithfully scenes of the old home,and just as faith fully his life since he left that home, how an innocent child on his mother's lap listening to the old Bible stories that are ever new. The stories float in his memory and thought* of them and his mother cause the tears to roll down his cheeks. Oh, the memory of a loving,faithful mother can soften the hardest heart ! How her advice, precepts and love can help us eyen when she has long been moulder ing in the grave. When wo thinK of home, how cur thoughts go back to the place where mother was, and when we look forward to the beautiful home beyond the nvei, faith and imagination see mother there. Oh mothers of the youth of our coun try, do you realize what a power Jfor good is iii your hands if you will only use it ? Are you'so living before your children, so training them that when tliev go out into the world away from you, or you are taker, from them, their memories of you will be as a guilding star to keep them on tlie right path ? Do you realize that God has {placed the children with you to take care for Ilim? Do you stop to think that the way in which mothers train their children now will influence the whole nation, aye,the whole world, in years to come ? If you do, why do you leave the little one of tender years out in the streets, away from under your own eye and ear, to learn more'of evil in one hour than you can root up iu a lifetime? How are you training your sons that in time to come are to lill offices all over the land ? Are you doing your best to have them grow up honest, truthful men ? Are you training your daughters to be true wo men, worthy to become the wives and mothers of The nation? Oh, women, take care of tlie precious talent God lias given you ; and one way to make the best of it is to make your home the most pleasant spot on earth. Gather your household around a cheerful fire side, when the cold wintry winds of un kindness and neglect are not allowed to come, but from which the members will carry a warm glow all their lives. — The Household. Singeing Sparse Hair. "Stop right in here and I'll tell you all about the new process for the pre vention of baldness,"said a well known Griswold avenue barber, as he led tlie way to a room adjoining his shop. "Tliis process," he proceeded to say, "is entirely new in Detroit. I found it out iu this way: A friend of mine went to Paris a short time ago, and at the time of his departure his hair was very thin and continually falling out. On his return the appearance of his head was entirely changed, being covered with a growth of hair ever so much more luxurious and thick than on his departure. On inquiring the reason for this change I was informed that he had his hair singed, jllere was a practi cal illustration of the good effects fol lowing this new method, so 1 made up my mind to adopt it, and have done so very successfully. "How is it done ? \Vell, I just take a lighted taper and pass the flame over the tips of a man's hair which is at all thin or had a tendency to fall out; that is all. You see, every hair is hollow, and more or less of the fluid necessary for its growth escapes. When the top of the hair is singed the aperture is closed and tlie strengthening fluid re tained." "Will not the same means be employ ed to encourage tlie growth of hair on the bald upper lips of some of our youth ?" was asked. "Exactly. You see my mustache ? It is thicker on one side than on the other. That is caused by my smoking my cigars just a little short, and they singe rav mustache on one side and make it thick there. This goes to prove that singeing is beneficial. I have no doubt that before long you will see in front of all the barber shops of this eity signs marked "Singeing done here.' Detroit Times. The California hog becomes wild,is hunted and trapped bear fashion and if cornered will fight like a tiger. The ! ranchmen kill one when- they want pork. Terms, SI.OO p3r Year, in Advance. 4 Feats of Marksmanship Never Equaled by Carver or Bo gardus. From the Pittsburg Post. Itev. \Y r . L. McGrew, a young Metho dist milliliter of Somerset county, was in Pittsburg this week on a visit to friends. lie was the guest of ltev. Ri ley, of the South side. On Thursday evening he went to Finleyville, Wash ington county, on a visit. Itev. Mc- Grew is well known in Western Penn sylvania. lie is a citizen of West Eliza beth, in this county. lie has been a member of the Methodist ministery for probably twelve or fifteen years, maybe longei. It is not of his ability as a minister, but of bis marvelous skill 111 shooting that this brief article will treat. Many of his acquaintances do know that he is probably the finest marksman in American, not excepting Carver and Bogardus. From boyhood he has been passionately fond of tire arms, and the expertness, celerity and accuracy with which lie can handle a revolver, shotgun or rifle, entitle them to.rank in their use without a known equal, fie has never sought to make any display of his acquirements in this respect, because be has not coveted no toriety. Target shooting has been pur sued asa pleasant passtime in his hours of recreation, and with no thought or desire of ever being brought to public notice by it. But the feats which he accomplishes with ease are so incredi ble that the Post is certain he will par don its relation of some of them purely as a matter of interest to its readers. Bogardus and Carver have never ac complished anything with shotgun or rifle which Rev. McGrew has not been able*to duplicate. But be can teach them feats which, whether they can ex ecute them or not, they have never at tempted. One of these is the breaking with a repeating rifle of two ordinary glass goblets thrown into the air before either fallsto the ground. He cuts one of the goblets in twain at the stem,low ers bis rifle to his hip to throw out the empty shell and reload,and then breaks the globe of the other. He admits his inability to break both at the stem 3, but is serene under the knowledge that lie has never heard of any one able to duplicate even this teat. Another thing he does is to shoot through the mouth of a pop bottle thrown up in the air and knock the bot tom out. The bottle is thrown so that every revolution the mouth is presented to him. He shoots with a rifle through the mouth and knocks the bottom out. It takes a quick eye. steady nerves and accurate judgement, but Rev. McGrew does it. These feats, lie says,are comparative ly easy of accomplishment. One that is still more difficult is to shoot with a repeating rifle two glass balls thrown in opposite directions from a trap. At the county fair last fall at Somerset he was invited to give a public exhibition of his skill. lie consented to do so, provided, the event should not be sur rounded with any circumstances that would detract from the dignity of his calling. Ou that occasion he lirst broke thirty single balls thrown from a trap, hitting every one at the lirst lire. Then he tried his hand 011 fifteen double b lis and broke every pair. Out of the sixty balls he did not miss one. All this was done with a rifle. Ex-Goyernor lloyt was a witness of the exhibition, and pronounced it the most phenomenal display of marksmanship he had ever see u. These are only a few iilustrations of the capacity of Itev. McGrew in this line. Ilis feats witli revolver and shot gun are as wonderful as those with the rifle. Sleeplessness. In order to avoid sleeplessness keep yourself free, as far as possible, from that fatal enemy of sleep,indigestion, by the strict adherence to those laws of diet which in these days of running after knowledge must be fan iliar to all of you. Take care that you abstain from those unhealthy and sleep-driv ing heavy suppers ; though there can be 110 harm in haying a light meal of some plainly-cooked and nutritious food some little time before bedtim3; in fact, in many cases of wakefulness in debilitated or even weakly persons, such a meal rather predisposes to sleep. Whatever is taken at the time should be easy of digestion and not likely in any way to irritate the stom ach, and should be taken in a moder ate quantity. Exercise, and exercise hi the open air, is absolutely necessary for the preservation of healthy sleep, and among the women of our poorer classes, more especially those living in our towns, that is not thought of as it should be.lt care and worry prevent sleep, I should advise some gentle oc cupation of the mind prior to retiring to rest—a game of chess,cards or back gammon, an hour's social'conversa tion, or even a little reading, when ac tually in bed, provided that it is noth ing very exciting. A warm bath, a gain, is an excellent excitant of sleep, ut must not be indulged in too often. NO. 20. NEWSPAPER LAWS. If subscribers order the discontinuation of Publishers may oontinue to send them until nil arrearages are mid. If subscribers rerufte or noplect to take their , froni Uie 10 *hich they are sent !!■!■ Mtk S!? u,,t " they hare settled the bills and ordered them discontinued, ir subscribers move toother places without In fv # e publisher, and the newspapers ate scut to t lie former place, they are rcs|K>nbible. ADVERTISING RATES. ~ i I wk. I nto. I 3 mos. 6 mos. 1 year 1 square * 2uu $4 00 $A 00 $6 00 | 8t 4oo r oo i 1000 1500 igoo 700 10 00 J 1/5 00 30 00 40 00 1 " 10 00 15 00 1 2500 45 00 75 00 One Inch makes a square. Administrators' and Executors' Notices $*2.50. Transient adver. tlsemeiits and locals 10 cents per line for first SlSrtlon" 15Cl>,,tS 1,81 linß ' or Edition- HUMOROUS, It is the feeblest mustache, as well as the sickliest child, that get's the most fondlings. A correspondent inquires if the op era "L'Elisir d' Amore'' means "The Loves of Eliza !" > j Of what did you say they convict ed the doctor V 'Well, I don't know exactly,but I suppose it was purgery.* A burglar got into the house of a lawyer the other day. After a terrible struggle the lawyer succeeded in rob bing him. It is said that an lowa woman drank three quarts of cider in three 'minutes. After that she was quite be cider herself. It seems to me, f moaned Algernon as be flew toward the front gate with the old man behind him, 'that there are more than three feet in a yard.' 'Yes,' said Fogg, to the author of an unknown new work, 'your book is perfect in its way. One fee's, while reading it, as if he were in some royal court.' 'Does he V asked the author, with eagerness. 'Yes,' said Fogg; 'there are so many sleepy pages in it, you know.' Willie had been forbidden to ask for dessert.The other day they forgot to serve him, and as Willie is very o bedient, he remfinad silent, although much affected. 'Josephine,' said the father, 'pass me a plate.' 'Won't you have mine, papa V said Willie ; 'lt is very clean.' A full-bearded grandfather recently had bis beard shaved off, showing a clean face for the first time for a num ber of years. At the dinner table hi 9 three year old grand-daughter noticed it, gazed along with wondering eyes, and finally ejaculated : 'Grand fat her, whose head you got on.' They all Laughed." A man woo seemed to be all legs and at least seven feet long halted a policeman on Woodward avenue the other day aiid excitedly began: 'I was turning the corner up there about ten minutes ago when I fell down ''Yes— fell down,' repeated the officer. 'Has any one a right to insult me for fall ing down?' 'No sir.' 'Well, they did insult me—a full dozen of them. When I got up one fellow was hang ing to a lamp post and laughing as if he would die, and another was—' 'Yes—l see—ha !ha !ha ! They couldn't help it—ho ! ho ! ho ! it's the funniest sight in the world !' 'And you, to, dura your buttons—you are laughihg because I sprawled on the pavement!' 'Y-ycs—can't help it— -110 ! ho ! ho ! 'You a public officer,add insult to injury, do you ?' 'No—no, that—but- -ha ha ha I can imagine just how you walloped that icy spot! It's too funny for—ha ha ha !' 'Sir, I'll report you!' Yes I know,but—ho ho ho !' 'l'll have you dismissed!, 'I know it—of course—but o-o-oh ho ho bo !' The long legged man made & rush for the City Hall and entered the office of the Chief of Police just as that ge 11 tic man was laughing at a re mark made bv a visitor. 'And you heard of it and are cracking, too 1' yelled the long-legged man, with great indignation,and he turned and walked out with his face as red as a toy wagon and his legs as stiff as crowbars. Items of Interest. In Delaware they select for Sheriff the best fellow who has the greatest number of debts. More than 350,000 skunk skins were used in this country last season, each valued at fifty cents to $1.20. A church in Connecticut by resolu tion forbids its members to drink in toxicating liquors, explicitly excepting hard cider. A Pennsylvanian would not trust his money to banks, and placed $15,- 000 in a wooden chest. The rats ate up $14,999_0f it. A Georgia lady has entered a suit for divorce on the ground that her husband would not let her know the combination of his safe. A late Australian invention is a method of adapting a saddle to vari ous horses and securing a good fit by having a saddle pad inflated with air. * v _ ■ A . '