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RATES REDPCED TO $2.00 PER DAY. The traveling public will still find at this Hotel the same liberal provision for their com fort. It Is located in the immediate centres of business and places of amusement and the dif ferent Rail-Road depots, as well as all parts ot the city, are easily accessible by Street Cars constantly passing the doors. It offers special inducements to those visiting the city for busi ness or pleasure. Your patronage respectfully solicited. Jos. M. Feger. Proprietor. "pEABODY HOTEL, 9thSt. South of Chestnut, PHILADELPHIA. One Square South of the New Post Office, one half Square from Walnut St. Theatre and in the very business centre of the city. On the American and European plans. Good rooms fiom 50ct8 to $3.00 per day. Remodel ed and newly furnished. W.PAINE, M. D., 46-ly Owner & Proprietor. R. A. BUMILLER, Editor. VOL. 58. MY PAIR ROAD COM PANION. To all in any degree familiar with the history of Mexico, it is well known that a regular system of highway rob bery exists in every section of that mis erably governed country ; and that, through a want of interference of the authorities, this lias grown up into such a regular and formidable shape, that every traveler must be prepared to put his life at hazard at every stage, or be provided with a suitable contribu tion for los caballtros del canwxo (the knights 3f tho road), who, in the event of finding you prepared and willing, will make their levy with a politeness only equalled by the smiling landlord when he receives your overcharged fare for your last night's entertainment. Why such systematic boldness of rob bery is allowed —if not with the conni vance, at least with very rarely any in terference of the government or state authorities—is one of those mystical matters, which, among many others, so puzzels and perplexes the intelligent foreigners ; but that such is the disa greeable truth, every traveler through that wretched country can bear ample testimony. Some years ago, having business which first called me to the Capital of Mexico, aud thence through the inter ior of the country to the northward, I met with several thrilling adventures, which I have recorded for the bonifitof whomsoever may take aw interest therein, omitting only the dates, they being non-essential to the interest of the narrations themselves. The first of the seiies occured on the route between Vera Cruz and the city of Mexico. In the regular diligencia, runuing between the places just men tioned, I had taken passage, and had passed through the beautiful ciiy of Ja lapa, and entered the gloomy town of Perote, without meeting with any un usual incideut, though being contin ually warned to be on my guard against the dangers of the road. At Perote, where we halted for a re lay and refreshments, all my fellow passengers took leave of me, very sol emnly assuring me that, if assailed by the laclrones , or robbers, it would be much better for me to tako matters quietly/and suffer myself to be genteely plundered, than to run the risk of hav ing my throat cut for resistance, as I had somewhat boldly proclaimed it was my intention of doing. I thanked them for their advice, and replied that I would take the matter into serions consideration. At Perote, I repeat, all who had been my companions from Vera Cruz, took leave of me, this being the end of their journey in that direction ; but there was one new passenger here to go forward, whom, to my agreeable sur prise, I fouud to be a beautiful young lady, some twenty years of age. Seuorita Paula, as I subsequently as certained her name to be, was indeed one of those rare beauties seldom met with except in works of fiction—tall, graceful, with a profusion of long, black hair—soft, clear, melting dark eyes—features as perfect a3 ever came from the hands of the sculptor, and with an animation the most fascina ting—varying in expression with every changing mood of the intellectual poss essor. A glance at her bewitching dark eyes showed me that she was one who was naturally of a social disposi tion ; aud as we rattled away from the gloomy town, I took the liberty of o pening a conversation. "They tell rae," said I, "that the route beteen here and Mexico is a very dangerous one to travel." "There is little to fear," she replied, with a sweet smile and in a melodious tone, "except from the professional robbers, and they seldom harm any one who makes no resistance." "It seems strange to me," I rejoined, "that you Mexicans should take such things as a matter of course, and deem resistance a very impolite way of treat ing the knights of the road, instead of boldly asserting your rights and abat ing the evil by a manly spirit of resist ance. For myself, I must consider it the most cowardly of proceedings for any respectable party to set out prepar ed to quietly gratify the cupidity of the ladronea , and unprepared to treat them to their just deserts," "Every traveler, senor," she replied, "should, before setting out, count the costs of his journey ; and as of course it is natural he should value his life highly, it seems to me natural that lie should pay a certain sura for positive safety, rather than put that life in jeo pardy. For instance, in traveling fiom Vera Cruz to Mexico, if he will first reckon that so much is the fare by the diligencia, and that so much will be re quired for entertainment on the way, and so much for the contingency you speak of, he will then have the exact cost between the two points ; and if he will look at the whole as the sum total of bis journey, he will not seem to be MILLIIEIM, PA., THURSDA Y, MAY 1., 1884. robbed by any one phrty more than an- other.'' "That," I replied, "may be,l believe is,the Mexican mode of doing business, but does not tally with the preconceiv ed ideas of foreigners." "But every one," replied the fair speaker, "should con Arm to the cus toms of the country he visits." "And do you then go piepired for this highway robbery ? and have vou no fear in thus journeying by your . self ?" "Well, senor, what can Ido V 1 am, as you perceive, an unprotected lady, who, for certain reasons, am required to make the journey between IViote and the Capital some two or three times a year, and you certainly could not expect me to go prepared to resist an armed band 1 As to fear,l will not | deny I have my share of that ; but, so far, I have never met with any rough treatment, and I trust to the saints that my fortune will ever be as propi tious." - "And have you really been robbed on your journey back and forth V" I inquired. "I think I have paid my share to the lad rones for my transit through their country !" she laughed. "And you expect to continue a re petition of the same for the lest of your life ?" "Who knows ?" she replied. "At least I hope to be always prepared." "And your fellow travelers ?" said I ; "have you never seen any disposed to resist these unlawful acts ?" "Once, senor, an American and an Englishman, who were in the same dil igeucia with me,tired upon the robbers, killing one and wounding two." "And did the robbers tire back ?" "Yes, but lied immediately, and for tunately injured noi.e of our party."J "As I should have expected," re turned I. "You were not robbed on that occasion, I suppose V" "We were not, senor ; but the two foreigners subsequently paid dearly for their resistance ; for in journeying back and forth, both were killed, sep arately and at different times near the ! same spot. You see these crosses by the side of the road, senor ?" "I have observed them frequently, but here they seem to be much more numerous," I replied, looking forth from the vehicle. "Each stands on the spot where some one has met a violent death," she rejoined ; "and as we go along, I will call yonr attention to those which mark the places where the foreigners met theirs." "Do you know," said I, "that I ana resolved to emulate their example, let the constquences be what they may ?" "Holy saints defend us !'' she ex claimed ; "you aie not in earnest, se nor ?" "Seriously so, I assure you." "You would only bring certain death upon us both." "Say, rillier, I should lighten the expenses of tiie journey—for your knights of the road understand retreat 03 well as advance—and you yourself have acknowledge that firm resistance put them to tl.ght for once." "But there were numbers opposed to them, senor, and you are only one." "But fortunately I have a couple of revolvers, which, in two good hands, amount to some ten or a dozen shots, and my fiiends have repeatedly told me I am not a Dad marksman." "Ah, Santa Maria ! you will think better of this,senor ?—the very idea of resistance terrifies me 1" "But idea of robbery ?" "Because I have never met with vio lence." We continued to converse in a simi lar strain for some time longer—my fair companion gradually changing the subject, and seeming much interested in myself. I learned that her family name was Valerde, that she was un married, that hei father and brother were officers in the army, and so forth, and so on ; and in return I gave her my own name, stated something of my history, business and prospects, and altogether became more communica tive than I would advise any friend to be with any stranger of either sex in a strange country. As we continued our journey, the conyersation gradually changing from one thing to another, Senorita Paula suddenly brought it back to the point where it first opened. "We are coming upon a dangerous prat of the road," she said ,• "are you still resolved to defend yourself if as sailed ?" "With your permission, senorita 1" "1 do not think it advisable," she replied ; "but still, if such,is your in tention, I think it no more than right that you should give me a chance to take a part in my defense, since my risk of danger will be as great as yours !" "And have you really the nerve, af ter all, to defend yourself V" I inquir ed. A PAPER FOR THE HOME CIRCLE "If 1 had the means, senor." "I have two pistols," said I ; "if you will accent one of them, it is at your service !*' "You are very kind, senor—but can 1 fire it ?" "With ease, senorita ;" and produ cing one of my revolvers, I explained to her ttie manner in which it was to be used. "And this, you say, will shoot some half a dozen times ?" "I think it safe U*oakulatethat five charges out of the six will explode,sen orita." "A veiy formidable weapon indeed!" she replied ; "and with such I can al most fancy we are safe. You have an other, you say, like this ?" I produced it. "What a beautiful invention !" she observed, reaching oyer and taking it from my hand. Then extending her hands, one of the revolvers in each, she continued : "Armed like this, one might almost count himself safe against a host ! You say this is fired in this manner ?" she proceeded, cocking one of the weapons as she spoke and pointing it toward the mad. "Have a care, senorita, or you will discharge it 1" The woids were scarcely uttered, when her finger pressed the trigger,and of tlie barrels was exploded with a sharp report. A minute after, and while I was gently chiding her, we heard a loud, quick tramp of horses, and several sharp, rapid exclamations. The next mouient our conveyance was stopped suddenly, and we saw our selves surrounded by some eight or ten mounted mn, one of whom, in a loud voice, exclaimed : "Yield you prisoners, or die !" "Quick, senorita 1" said I, extend ing inv hand ; "quick ! in heaven's name ! give rne one of those weapons ! for now is oui time for decisive ac tion !" "Nay," she replied, putting the wea pons behind her, "you will be too hast y ! Let them suppose we yield—let them open the door !" "Oh, no ! it will then be too late !" As I spoke, the door, was suddenly thrown open, and three or four swar thy, heavily-bearded men presented themselves to my view. 4 Quick, senorita, for the love of God !" I cried grasping at her arm. "Hold !" she exclaimed, instantly presenting one of rny own revolvers to my head. Resistance is useless !—you are our prisoner !" "Gracious heaven !" exclaimed I, perfectly astounded. "Our prisoner, did you say ? It is not possible that one so fair and lovely as yourself is in any manner connected with these band' itti 1" "It is even so, senor," she replied, with one of her most bewitching smiles, still keeping one of my own weapons turned against myself, and significantly pointing the other to the door. "You will oblige us by stepping forth and giving yourself into the care ot these good gentlemen, who will see that you are treated as a brave man should be, but who will trouble you meantime for any little change and valuables you may have to spare !" There seemed to be no help for it— the beautiful Senorita Paula Valerde was a spy and accomplice of the lad rones. She had entered the diligencia at Perote for no other purpose than to ascertain the exact condition of things inside and bo able to signalize her asso ciates as she passed along, so that they might know exactly in what manner to conduct themselves and make their work sure without risk. By a simple stratagem she had obtained my arms, just at the point where she knew the attack would be made ; and her dis charge of the pistol, as if by accideut, was the sign to show them that all was secure. "I acknowledge myself conquered by being outwitted !" said I, bowing to la senorita. Then turning to the rolbers, who had now collected in a body, in front of the dour of the diligencia, I contin ued : "Gentlemen, will you pei mit me to alight and make you some valuable presents V I the language of your country, all I have is yours." The leader of the party bowed polite ly in return, and said, with a grim smile : "Si, senor, we shall be most happy to receive an} thing which so distin guished a traveler may have to be stow." With this I quietly stepped from the vehicle; and one quick,searching glance put me in possession of the whole state of affairs. The diligencia had been stopped in a wild, gloomy place, and the driver was sitting carelessly on his box, taking everything as a matter of course. lie might also be an accomplice of the robbers, or lie might not; but, in eith er case, there was little hope of assist ance from him—for any attempt of the kind would certainly bring upon him a severe punishment, sooner or later. I glanced up and down the road, where it wound between dark, overshadowing trees, but discovered nothing to give me any hope. The robbeis, some eight or ten in number, and all well armed, I were collected around me, part of them mounted, and the others standing on their feet, holding iheir mustangs by the bridle. Looking upon my case as a desperate one, s > far as being plun dered was concerned, I still retained my presence of mind, and did not wholly despair. True, I had been out- I witted and disarmed, and LOW stood singly between numbers but the idea of yielding tamely to this outrage was repugnant to my very nature, and I re solved to put any favorable opportunity for defense and retaliation to the etrongest test. "Will you accept this purse ?" said I, producing one that field several gold coins, and handing it to the chief of the ladrones. "Thank you, senor ! you are very kind !" he said, as he took it in lis hand, with a iolite bow, and chinked the money. "This diamond pin may prove ac ceptable to your friend ?" I added, as I quietly removed it from the bosom of my shirt, and handed it to the ijentle man on his left, who received it iu the same polite manner. "This diamond ring I trust you will retain as a keep sake !" I continued, drawing the jewel from my finger and presenting it to a third. "I beg your pardon, sen ores !" I pursued, glancing at the Senorita Paula, w ho, with my pistols still iu her possession, was quietlv standing with in the diligencia, regarding the whole proceedings with one of her sweetest smiles ; "1 must not forget this beau tiful ladv ! I bayo here," I went on, at the same time producing the article, "a very beautiful gold snuff box—set, as you perceive, with diamonds—w'll your ladyship honor me by accepting this as a slight token of my regard for the pleasure afforded me by your com pany and conversation ?" "You are a very gallant gentleman, senor !" she laughed, taking the two revolvers in one fair hand and present ing tlie other. I reached the box toward her—but mv hand trembled a little—and, just as the present was about to touch her fingers, it slipped and fell between us. "A thousand pardons, senorita, for my awkwardness !" I said, as I bent down to pick it up. "Now was the all-import rut moment —the moment of life and death ! All were in a measure off their gaurd ; and one quick, furitive glance, showed me that the girl still held my weapons care lessly in one hand, with the other re maining extended for the prize. 1 lifted the box carefully ; but, as I raised my self, I gave a wild, startling yell ; and as the senorita started back,l, with the quickness of lightning, seized both weapons, and wrenched them from her.* To wheel and commence firing upon the party, was now only the work of a moment. The first shot, fortunately, stretched out the chief; the second took effect to the one nearest to him ; and by the time the third had been sent on bis mission, there arose one simultaneous yell of dismay, and the astonished rob bers began to scatter in every direction I had no disposition to follow them, however, another minute they might rally and turn upon me; and, springing forward, I grasped the reins of a freed mustang, and vaulted into the saddle. One more glance around me,showed me the Senorita Paula upon the body of the chief, her laughter turned to grief, and sortie of the scattered cowards bringing their weapons to bear upon me. "Adios, senorita and senores I" said I, bitterly ; "he laughs best who laughs last!" The next moment I was dashing a way down the road,the half-rallied rob bers pouring after me a volley, but fortunately not touching their mark. They would doubtless have followed me in hot pursuit, but for the wholesome dread they had of my still undischarg ed weapon. As it was I escaped, and entered the town of Puebla in triumph; where, it is almost needless to add, a narration of my exploit made me a hero and a lion at the time. Here I sold my captured mustang and trappings for enough to .indemnify me for what I had disposed of in the way of presents ; and the next day saw me an inside passenger of the. same dil igencia, en route for Mexico, where I arrived in safety, without any further event worthy of note. What become of the robbers and their beautiful accomplice, I never learned; but the lesson taught me on that journey 1 have never forgotten: and during the remainder of my st; y in that country, no pretty woman evt r; had the honor of being my business con fidante, or, of getting possession uf my trusty and unfailing revolvers. No brass band can play as many airs as a drum major can put on. Terms, SI.OO per Year, in Advance. The Literature of Advertising, Business men find it very hard some times to write even a simple three-line advertisement in the strict technical phraseology, which is the only style allowable in the newspaper columns, and some houses employ a clerk espec ially for this work. Others leave it to the publisher to see that it comes out in good shape, and often the. best talent upon apni>er is brought into requisition to write out the virtues of a patent medicine in a sufficiently laudatory manner. Not long ago a man stood ab sorbed in thought at the counter of a newspaper otlice in this city. lie was writing something on a scrap of paper, and as a friend passed him he caught at him as a drowning man catches at a straw. "Give me a word," he exclaimed. "Certainly," said his friend ; "what kind of a word ?" "Oh, anything you can think of. It dosen't matter what." "How would collaborate do ?" "Couldn't be better. Thanks, ever so much." And he inserted the word and handed in the advertisement. The next morning the friend read : Furniture sold on collaborated time to parties desirous of going to collabo rated housekeeping. Punctuation, or the want of it, is re sponsible for many of the strange ad vertisements we read. Take this one for instance : WANTED—A woman able and will ing to wash iron and milk three cows. WANTED— By a German girl just landed in a private family a situation with or without children. WANTED— A man to play the organ and a boy to blow the same. WANTED— A boy to milk and mow lawns. A rather singular announcement ap peared in one of our city papers. A large blue gentleman's overcoat lost in the vicinity of the market. "rooms to rent with all the modern ineonveniencess," was unintentionally candid. WANTED—A comfortable room for a young man four by ten. A Detroit paper gravely anuounces in its advertising columns: To KENT— An elegantly furnished room to a gentleman already heated. Among the artistic advertising are the folio wing notices : Two young women want washing. Wood and coal split. Teeth extracted with great pains. A cheerful advertisement is this: Try our coffins. You will never use any other. In the Washington Evening Star there recently appeared the following suggestive advertisement : The prayer's of God's people aje most earnestly requested for the thorough purification of a young church, whose pastor and officers are inveterate tobac co users,much against the wishes of its members. This cool advertisement appears in a London paper: A lady wishes to recommend another lady who through no fault of her own, lus become in distressed circumstances thinking that if 1,000 benevolent per sons were tc subscribe £lO it would place her again in affluent circumstan ces. In looking over the pages of a daily paper, one is impressed with the great number of lost dogs. It would seem as if there must be a large community of them somewhere, for it is very seldom they are returned to their owners. And no matter how ugly they are, they are always described as beauties, and the family nuisance becomes the family pet as soon as he is hopelessly lost. SAD ADVERTISEMENTS. Then there are the wives—poor things—who are advertised as "Having left, my bed and board with out provocation" and the public is "fordidden to harbor her at my expense as I will not pay any debts of her con tracting." A sad spicing of advertising is that we meet most every day in the columns of the news papers: FOR ADOPTION—A sweet little girl baby, 6 months old. Must be taken at once. This seldom fails to elicit an immedi ate response from the charitable and kind-hearted reader, to whose tender est sympathies it appeals.— Detroit Free Press. Show Your Hands. Entering an Austin watchmaker's establishment, a country negro pro duced the hands of a clock,and observ ed to the astonished watchmaker: 'Boss, I wants ver to fix up desc ban's. Dey jest don't keep kere't time for moah den six monfs.' 'Yere has you got de glock V inter rogated the German proprietor of the establishment. 'Out at de house on Injun creek.' 'Yen you brings him in V 'Whaffor you want de clock V '1 vants to fix dat glock mit der hands.' 'Of course you fixes it wid yer han's. Who said you was gwinter fix it wid yer toes V 'I must hub de glock.' 'Didn't I tole yer dere was noffin de matter wid de clock, 'ceptin' de ban's, and I have done brung em to yer. You jest wants de clock so you can tinker wid it, and charge me hke de debble. Gib me bacK dem han's,' and taking them away from the de signing German, lie went out to hunt up another establishment,— Texas Sifting s. NO. 18. NEWSPAPER LAWS. If subscriber* order the discontinuation of newspapers, the publishers may continue to send them until all arrearages are paid. if suhsuriluM-s refuse or neglect to take tl el? newspapers from the office to which they are sent they are held responsible until they have -tit led the hills and ordered them discontinued. I f subscribers move to other places without In forming the publisher, and the newspapers are sent to the former place, they are responsible, ADVERTIisiN^^TBa. 1 wk. 1 mo. j 3 mos. 6 mos. 1 vear 1 square *2 on *4 00 5 00 *6 on >8 00 2* JO 00 15 00 3000 tot® 1 10 00 15 00 | 25 00 45 00 75 00 One Inch makes a square. Administrators' and Executors Notices #*.so. Transient a*lver. tlsements aud locals 10 cents per line for first ins riiun and o cents par line for each addltion- Baby on the Cars- There was a baby on a car of the Chicago. Burlington and Quincy Rail road the other afternoon. It a baby in long clothes is always at it —was loaded to the muzzle with cry. It was a little thing not more than two feet long, but It had more cry coiled up in it than yon would suppose could lie stowed away in a baby as big as a town constable. What would an auctioneer give for that baby's capaci ty ? Well, the train and the baby got a good eyen start, and for several miles the passengers looked on with interest in the race. Almost anybody would bet off-hand that a baby's steam would run down before an engine's, but if you knew this particular baby you would disdain all illegal propositions and de clare yourself "not a betting charac ter;" which by the way, is a most righ teous declaration—when you have no sure thing. The poor young mother of this port able noise factory was crimson with embarassment, for of course every pass enger looked at her and seemed to her to say: "Why don't you 6hut up that squalling brat V" l'resently a man with a long flowing beard come up the aisle, chucking the baby under the chin, and made a hoiid grimace, and simpered, "D.i, da, da, tootle te tooty." The baby was crying as loud as it could, but this made it cry louder. Then a woman reached over from the next seat and whispered something in the mother's ear. Of course, nobody heard what she said, aud the mother only sat the little one on her hand and shook her head. A man across the way said perhaps there was a pin sticking into it;and the baby was tipped and turned and wap sey'd until investigation exploded this theory. "Probably got the colic," said a dig nified woman with a double chin. A mau in a long duster gaye it a pepper mint lozeuger, but the baby declined it with kicks and yells. The poor woman looked down at the floor as if she wished to find a nail-hole to slip through. A kind-looking wo man came from theotlierend of the car, took the baby and pranced up and down the aisle bobbing aud jumping the bun dle of scream, until it was demonstrat ed that this was not the cure. She pass ed the baby to a man, who offered it his watch, but that was spitefully flung to the floor, as the baby opened the steam throttle another notch. A young man with a struggling mustache and a high collar was look ing out of a window whistling "Baby Mine." He turned his head languidly and suggested to the man who was trot ting the screaming infant on his knee trying to shake its lungs down into the muffling folds of its long tkirts, "If you people keep on until you frighten the baby to death it'll stop crying I guess." Every eye in the car shot a blood-red stare at that young man. What did he know about babies, the stripling ? But the baby was passed back to its mother and all the passengers sat still and brooded over the insult. Then the baby in the dense quietude laid its little head upon its mother's shoulder,sniffed a few sobs, and fell into a peaceful, noiseless slumber, and the young man turned his head down into his high col lar and concluded his tribute to "Baby Mine," while the other passengers thought, "Now he thinks he's smart, dosen't he ?" BE TRUE. There are persons whom you can al ways believe, because they have the habit oi telling the truth. They do not "color" or enlarge a bit of news in or der to make it sound fine or remark able. There are others whom you hardly know whether to believe or not, because they "stretch" .things so. A trifling accident grows in size, but not in quality, by passing through their mouths. They take a small fact or slender bit of news and pad it with added words, and paint it with high colored adjectives,until it is largely un real and gives a false And one does not like to listen to folks,when so much must be "allowed for shrink age." Cultivate the truth in little things as well as in great thiugs. Pics your words wisely, and use only such as lightly mean what you wish to say. Never "stretch" a story or a fact to make it seem bigger or funnier. Do this, and people will learn to trust you and respect you. This will be better than having a name for telling wonder ful stories, or making foolishly and falsly "funny" remarks. There are enough funny things happening in the world, and they are most entertaining when told just exactly as they came to pass. One has well said, "Never deceiye for the sake ot a foolish jest, or to ex cite the laughter of a few companions, at the expense ufa friend." Dear young friends, be true. Do the truth. Tell the truth. There are many false tongues. Let yours speak the things that are.pure, lovely, true.