THE MILLHEM JOURNAL,
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY BY
R. A. BUMILLER.
Office in the New Journal Building,
Penn St., near Hartman's foundry.
SI.OO PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE,
OR $1.35 EP NOT PAID IN ADVANCE.
Acceptable Correspondence Solicited
Address letters to MILLIIEIM JOURNAL.
BUSINESS CARDS.
mm^—M .
HARTER,
Auctioneer,
MILLIIEIM, PA.
Dn. JOHN F. HARTER.
Practical Dcnlist,
Office opposite the Methodist Church.
MAIN STREET, MILLIIEIM PA.
D R.D. H. MINGLE,
Physician & Surgeon,
Offllce on Mam Street.
MILLIIEIM, PA
J. SPRINGER,
Fashionable Barber,
Shop oppoislte the Millheim Banking House,
MAIN STREET, MILLIIEIM. PA.
GEO. S. FRANK,
Physician & Surgeon,
HEBERSBURG, PA.
Professional calls promptly answered. 3m
D. H. Hastings. W. F. Reeder
JJASTINGS& REEDER,
Atlornejs-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Allegheny Street, two doors east of
the office ocupied by the late firm of Yocum A
Hastings.
C. T. Alexandei. C. M. Bower.
Attorney-at-Linv,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office In Garman's new building.
HOY,
Attorney-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Orphans' Court Busiuess
M. C. HEINLE,
Attorney-at-Law
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Practices in all the courts of Centre county.
Special attention to Collectious. Consultations
in German or English. .
J. A. Beaver. J- W. Gephart.
JgEAVER & GEPHART,
Attorneys-at-Law,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Alleghany Street, North of High Street
JgROCKERHOFF HOUSE,
ALLEGHENY ST., BELLEFONTE, PA.
C, O. McMILLEN,
PROPRIETOR.
Good Sample Room on First Floor. Free
Buss to and from all trains. Special rates to
witnesses and jurors.
HOUSE,
BISHOP STREET, BELLEFONT, PA.,
EMANUEL BROWN,
PROPRIETOR.
House newly refitted and refurnished. Ev
ervthing done to make guests comfortable.
Rates moderate. Patronage respectfully solici
ted . My
JRYIN HOUSE,
(Most Central Hotel in the city.)
CORNER OF MAIN AND JAY STREETS,
LOCK HAVEN, PA.
S.WOODS CALDWELL
PROPRIETOR.
Good Sample Rooms for Commercial Travel
ers on first door.
"gT. ELMO HOTEL,
NOS. 317 &319 ARCH ST.,
PHILADELPHIA.
RATES REDUCED TO $2.00 PER DAY.
The traveling public will still find at this
Hotel the same liberal provision for their coin
fort. It Is located in the immediate centres of
business and places of amusement and the dif
ferent Rajl-Road depots, as well as all parts of
the city, are easily accessible by Street Cars
constantly passing the doors. It offers special
inducements to those visiting the city for busi
ness or pleasure.
Your patronage respectfully solicited.
Jos. M. Feffer. Proprietor.
pEABODY HOTEL,
9thSt. South of Chestnut,
PHILADELPHIA.
One Square Soufcti of the New Post
Office, one half Square from Walnut
St. Theatre and in the very business
centre of the city. On the American
and European plans. Good rooms
ftom 50ct8 to $3.00 per day. Remodel
ed and newiy furnished.
W. PAINE, M. D.,
46-ljr Owner & Proprietor!
R. A. BUMILLER, Editor.
VOL. 58.
THE IMPO33I3LE.
Men onnuot draw water from an osupty well,
Or trace the stories that gossips tell,
Or git her the sounds of u pealing boll.
Man never can stop the billows' roar,
Nor chain the winds till ney blow no more,
Nor drive true love from n maiden's door.i
Men cannot o'ortake a fleeting lie,
Cliango his wheat to a Hold of rye.
Or call back years that have long gone by.
Man never can bribe old Father Time,
Gain the height of a peak that bo cannot climb,
Or trust the hand that hath done a crime.
Man cannot a cruel word recall.
Fetter a thought.be it greater small,
Or honey extract from a drop of gall.
Man can never backward turn the tide,
Or count the stars thai are scattered wide,
Or find in a fool a trusty guide.
Man cannot reap fruit from worthless seed
Rely for strength on the broken reed,
Or gain a heart he hath caused to bleed.
Man never can hope true peace to win,
Pleasure without and toy within.
Living a thoughtless life of sin.
SOMEBODY'S CHILD.
Just a picture of somebo Iv's child,
Sweet face sot in its golden hair,
Violet eyes and cheeks of rose.
Rounded chin, with a dimple there.
Tender eyes where the shadows sleep,
l it from within by a secret rav,
Tender eyes that will shine like stars
When love and womanhood eoiue this way.
Scarlet lips with a story to tell:
Blessed be he who shall Audit out!
Who shall learn theeye>" deep secret well.
And read the heart with never a dou. t!
Then you will tremble, scarlet lips!
Then you will cnmsonjovliest cheeks!
Eves will brighten and blushes will burn
When the one t rue lover bends and speaks.
But she's only a child now. as you see:
Oulv a child in her careless grace;
When love and .womanh od come this way
Will anything sadden the flower-like face?
THE RIVAL I,OVERS.
"Cheerily bovs I" shouted the mas
ter. "We must he neariug the coast.
Hold hard the helm, Jean ! Make fast
the rope, Pierre !"
Over the raging sea the fishing
smack shot like a flash. The previous
day they had set out amid superb
weather. There was a stiff hreez°,
covering with light team the waves,
upon the surface of which the sun was
mirrored with bright silvery reflections.
Nevertheless, on passing the lookout
house Pere Landure, the master had
paused with an uneasy air. In less
than an hour the barometer the column
of mercury which glittered at the door,
had fallen a centimetre. The ol 1 man
had remained there a second, seeming
to reflect. Then he had glanced at the
sky,sniffed the wind, and had ended by
shrugging bis shoulders. A tempest
in such weather, was that possible ?
He would have felt it, he who scented
the gales a day in advance, and he did
not scsnt anything at all, save a good
catch of fish. The barometer wa3 cer
tainly wide of the mark.
That was why Pere Landure had set
out with his two young men, Pierre
and Jean.
Where they hi 3 sons ? No. Pere
Landure had only a daughter Marie,
the pearl of the coast, a superb lass of
20, robust and delightful, with eyes of
velvet and skin like a ripe peach.
Pierre and Jean were mariners of the
district, very resolute fellows, persist
ent workers, understand ing their bus
iness,whom he had employed for a
year past to go fishing in his vessel.
With them everything went splendidly.
It was a question which of the twain
had most heart in his toil. They were
genuine rivals, forsooth ! The master
had his suspicious as to what caused
this laudable zeal. The young fellows
were after his daughter. That was
clear. There was a struggle between
them as to which of the pair should de
serve to be accepted as Marie's bus"
band. Well, let that go ahead ! Pere
Landure was not disturbed His
daughter was sage, and sound in mind
as well as in body. When she wished
she would make her choice, and every
thing would be arranged.
She would perhaps do well not delay
too long, all the same. For to wait
thus in impatience is not the best thing
for two lads equally smitten. For a
bout a month past Pere Landure had
detected black looks between them, o i
Jean't side particularly ; who was
more ardent than Pierre, more choler
ic a'so, perhaps, a id more underhand.
But all that would be settled on the .
wedding day and the rejected lovr
would console himself with a double
share of cider. It would not be the
first time such a thing had been seen—
vexation drowned in a stout bumper—
and pretty girls were not scarce in the
neighborhood ! *
Meanwhile they had worked hard all
the afternoon, very calmly. But sud
denly toward 4 o'clock, the breeze hid
freshened.
Hola ! sailots,what does this mean?
Pere Landure had raised his head, put
his hand above his eyes and scanned
the horizon. Down there, away down
there, a black cloud was scurrying a
long at the utmost speed.
"Let go behind !" the master had
shouted, "and make for land 1"
And they hastened toward the coast.
But suddenly the wind had shifted,
driving the vessel before it toward the
open sea. What a tempest, great Ju
piter 1 Never had the two young fel
lows, uever bad Pere Landure himself,
MILLIIEIM, PA., THURSDAY, APRIL 17., 1884.
old as he was,seen anything like it. Ii
was surely one of those diabolical hur
ricanes mentioned by those who have
voyaged in southern seas ; one of those
frightful cyclones that surround one
with u circle of furious winds had
made a mistake as to the ocean and
had fallen upon the wrong waters. Ev
ery half hour the wind shifted and the
mad bark, turning about, shot off in an
unknown direction through whirlpools
of waves as high as houses. How was
it that it had not foundered twenty
times? Its ribs must he solidly bolt
ed ! Stoutly decked as it was, it rollel
fram wave to wave, plunging, then tis
ing as if by a miracle, shaken, tossed,
dashed, speeding along constantly at a
fearful rate.
Where was it going now ? That,
forsooth, the thiee sailors would have
found it very difficult to say. The
night had come on—an inky night—
and tliev couldn't see sixty feet i.i front
of them. For an instant they had per
ceived the Belle-Isle lighthouse. Now
they saw nothing save the horror of
tlie darkness, heard nothing but tho
sinister howls of the wind as it tore its
way through the cordage.
"Master," said Pierre, suddenly "the
watch light is out !"
"Try to relight it below.and lie care
ful of the fire," answeitd Pere Lan
dure. "But, no," added lie, taking a
second thought ; "I will do it myself."
And quitting the mast, to which he
had been clinging, the aged sailor took
two steps towaid the hatchway. Just
at that moment the sea swept the deck.
A cry burst foith. The deck was emp
ty.
"Malheur I" cried Pierre, "the mas
ter is overboard 1"
"He is done for !" said Jean cling
ing to the tiller.
The two men leaned over the rail
searching the darkaess with their di
lated eyes. They saw nothing.
"Tonnerre I" resumed Pierre, "what
will Marie say ?"
"The chances are that we shall mv
er know J" replied Jean.
"Why ?"
"Because we also will be drown-
ed."
"Do you think so ?"
"It looks like it !''
"But we do not know."
"I know. At all events I have an
idea."
"What is it ?"
"That if the 3mack should escape it
should take only one of us bwk to
land."
" Why ?"
"Because of Marie."
"You are mad, Jean I"
"I am not. We are one to many
and you know it. The occasion is j
good. If you are nit a coward we will
profit by it.
"How ?"
"Let one of us follow Pere Lan
dure."
"Which ?"
"Let's leave that to Fate, to the first
sea shipped. If its starboard, it's you.
If it is to larboard, it's me." Will
that work.
" It will."
The two men were silent. A min
ute elapsed -as long as a century.
The tempest ssemed to have abated a
trifle. The waves came less swiftly.
At last one of them swept the deck.
"Larboard ! M cried Jean. "It's
me !"
He stood nailed to his place, silent.
Then he resumed : "You are in luck.
Besides the 9ea is growing calm. You
are likely to see Marie again !" He
paused once more for an instant.
"You have too much luck !" cried
he at last in a choking vohe. Sudden
ly he stood erect and walked towaid
the hatchway.
"Where are you going ? : ' demanded
Piei re.
"Where I please," replied Jean in a
tone of brutal rage. "You will give
me five, minutes' grace, I hope."
He opened the hatchway and went
down. Pierre remained above in the
darkness, his visage scourged by the
foam.
When five minutes had elapsed Jean
returned to the deck. lie placed his
back to the mast and seemed to be
waiting for something.
Pierre said to him : "Jean, you are
mad. You are surely not going to
cast yourself into the sea ?"
"Why not," answered Jean. "Have
I not lost ?"
. "I release you. Remain on board !"
At that moment Pierre listened.
"What is going on below ?" resumed
he. "Is the smack on fire ?"
"You had too much luck, my boy,"
said Jean, with a sullen sneer. "I have
fired the vessel 1"
"Coward I" cried Pierre,
"I am no cowaid !" replied Jean.
"The p r oof of it is that lam going to
pay my debt !" And clearing the bul
warks at a bound he vanisued.
Pierre rushed to the hatchway and
went down three steps. lie came up
choked. Biting smoke filled the throat.
A PAPER FOR THE HOME CIRCLE
The wretched Joan had made good use
of his five minutes' grace. lie had
emptied the keg of brandy up >n a heap
ot tarred rope and already the entire
hold was in flames. How was Pierre
to quench the fire ? Five man would
not have sufficed for that !
Then Fieri o set down on the bench at
the stern and mechanically seized the
tiller, clinging instinctively to the life
ho was about t > quit. Almost at once
the wind had fallen. The sea was yet
disturbed,but its fury had visibly weak
ened.
Pierre remained upon the bench as if
stupefied, hearing the plank partitions
crack beneath him as the fire gnawed
them. Suddenly a jet of red dimes es
caped through the open hatchway. The
deck was burning.
Fiam minute to minute tho lire in
creased. Shortly before the sea sweep
ing over the smack would have extin
guished it,or at least, fought it. Now,
having doubtless escaped from tho fu
rious hurricane, the vessel no longer
shipped water. It went along inert,
tossed from wavo to wave, plunging
and coming up again, sending forth, as
each succteding billow lifted it,a blind
ing plume of fire.
The remainder of the wind that was
blow ing coming from behind, it was to
the fore of the smack that the flames
made headway. For the half hour his
agony had lasted Pierre had re m lined
motionless, staring around him at the
bloody light with which tho bl izing
smack empurpled the waves. Now,
suddenly, feeling the approaching fire,
he threw himself upon his knees, made
the sign of the cross and fell flat on the
deck, Ins face against the burning
planks.
How long did he lie there in the tor
por of his mute resignation ? A few
minutes perhaps. Suddenly shouts
burst upon his ear. He raised his
head : there, very near him, a boat
manned by four sailers was coming on
as rapidly as oars could bring it, fan
tastically illuminated by the wild glare
of the fire.
11 Ho, there !" cried a voice.
Pierre opened his lips lo reply. But
just at that moment, he felt the smack
sink under liiiri and a flocd of salt wa
ter roughly tilled his mouth and ears.
Pcre Land ore's vessel plunged down
ward, bow first.
When ho came to himself, lying upon
his back in the lifeboat, Pierre saw a
huge bearded face bending oyer him.
As lie opened his eyes the face sp >ke.
"It was lucky f>r you, my boy, tli.it
your smack caugl t fire ! Had ic not
been far that we should never have
seen you amid tlk? thick darkness.
■)r * * *
When Pierre, i year later, married
Marie, he told h#r the story of that ter
rible night.
"lie was abac fellow, that Jean,"
sail he ; "dont 3011 think so, my love V
Still it is because he tried to kill me
that I am alive t)-day !"
"If you thi k proper, my own
Pierre." said M vie, "we will bum a
wax candle for It s pool soul I"
Quiet was Restored.
Mrs. Daintywjill, one of the neatest
and most "particular" of women,
would always say to her husband when
he was run ever by a stage on Broad
way, orsometbirg of that kind, and
people should fiul that vou had on a
shirt you had torn for a week ! I
should just die d" mortification."
One day Mr. Dainty well really met
with the predicted accident, and was
brought home IDOU a convenient shut
ter. His wife nshed to the door when
she saw him coning, her face s> pale
that hei lrusbinl. who was fully con
scious, feared tint she was going to
faint.
"Cheer up, rxy dear," he cried. "I
stepped into aninisuspected hafchwry,
and had quite af.ill ; but don't worry
—"I had on a cean shirt !"
It is needless;© add that this quite
restored her conposiire.
—— —--
Not a Lsighing Mattel*.
1 A woman shod at tlie front gate
watching her leighbor's dog coining
down the strs with a k -ttlo lied to
his tail. It amised her vastly.
Prcs ni ly theowner of the dog scur
ried in but jLirsuit, whereupon the
woman at the fate laughed a gleeful,
uuneighborly laigh.
Then a.little joy rounded the corn©
with a bright, innocent look upon his
face, as whoslould say: "I —am —on —
an— errand-for—my—dear—ma,—so—
don't—detail—me."
lie stoppcl and said to the woman at
the gt te:
"What an you laughin' at?"
She repled with hilarity: "I'm
laughin' at old Bullrag's dog with a
kettle tied tohis tail."
"It's avvfiufnnny, ain't it?" the lit
tle boy said, .3 lie hurried on. "The
kettle is youn."
Then the vbtnan at the gate suddenly
stopped laug'ing.— Phila. Eve. Call.
BLUSHING AND LYING.
The Popular Error That tho One is
an Index of the Other.
"But didn't you see him blush ?"
"Well, what of that ?"
"Don't you think he was lying ?"
"No, I don't. I know lie was tell
ing me the square truth."
"T)o you know the circumstances ?"
"Fes, and 1 know ho told them just
as tin y were."
"It sounded like a lie, anyway."
"That is why he blushed," said Mr.
Denison.a well-known Chicago lawyer,
for this talk was taking place in his of
lieejust after the departure of a young
man who had been sued and was seek
ing advice from his attorney.
"I venture to say no man has had
more trouble than 1 with blushes, and
I think I know some of tho causes be
hind them. You may have noticed
that 1 blush on every conceivable occa
sion. If a questi mis put to me quick
ly, I t lush. If I meet a friend slap on
the street—unless I see him some time
before I reach him—l blush. If any
body speaks my name from behind or
from some unexpected quarter,l blush.
As much as 1 have been bcfoie juries,
I blush every time an opposing advo
cate refers to me as 'the learned coun
sel for the defense.' Hang! I hlusli
on all sorts of occasions,and yet 1 don ; t
believe that anybody would say I am
an especially modest or bashful man."
"No, sir," continued the old attor
ney, "1 have blushed and blushed all
my life, and the more I blush the more
I try not to, and the more I try not (o
the more I blush. Above nil, the
meanest blush is just such a one as you
saw on that y-mng man's face just
now. rknow just how he felt. He
knew he was telling a pretty haidstory,
and he could see in your face that you
didn't believe him. That's why he
blushed. If he had been t tlkit.g to me
alone he would not have blushed, be
eiuse he knows I am familiar with the
circumstances he related; but you
looked doubtingly at him, and he
felt the mistrust so keenly that it
brought the blond to his face."
After a little pause Mr. Denison cm
tinned :
"I never pay the least attention to
blushes when examining a witness.
The blush is not, as is too often believ
ed, the evidence of a lie. Nor is it
true signal of embarrassment. I know
that, for I have been told that I wa ;
blushing purple when I was as ca'm
and dnemharrassei as I am al this mo
ment. Them are in mv causes for my
blushes ; some of them purely physical
I think ; but often when 1 am telling
something—some little personal recol
lection, perhaps, that amounts to noth
ing—l get it in my head that some
body doubts some part of it. Then I
blush. Then I feel that. I ;un b'usbing
and I say to invself. 4 Xo\v lie will see
me blush and will be sure to think I
am lying,' and that makes me"blush all
the more, until finally I can fee! my
face burn and glow like a coal, and I
say to myself, 'Now he is sure I am
lying, and he thinks* I know he is sure
of it,' and so I stand and blush because
I think he doubts me until, perhaps, I
really make him doubt me because of
ray blushes."
He Went Into Polities.
"Good gracious," siid the gn cery
man tot lie bid boy, "I am sorry !*• r
your pa, if lie has got his head set < n
going into politics. i was in poli
ties one year myself, and it lias taken
me five to get out and pay my debts,
at>d now every ward politician owes me
for groceries. You .-ee, they come to
me and wanted me to run for supervi
sor. They said I was just th > man they
wanted, a mm with a large lie ul, oae
who was a business man, and who
would not kick at the expenditure of a
few dollars when he could m ike a bir
rel of money. Tliev said if I was on
the board of supervisors I could be
place 1 on a committee that handled tlie
funds, and I could make the purchase
of groceries and provisions for all the
county institutions, the poor house,
house of correction, insane asylum,
hospitals, and everything, and I could
buy them at my own store at my own
price, and in two years 1 could be rich
as any man in town. Well,l never had
a proposition strike me so favoiably,and
I went in bead oyer appetite. For a
month I went around our ward night
and d.iv, spending money, and tlie poli
ticians came to the .store and traded
while I was out, and had it charged,
and when the caucus was held I only
got one vote for supervisor, and I voted
that myself. Well,the politicians tried
to explain to me, but I bought a revol
ver, and they kept away. Do you knmv
ttie next day after the caucus I didn't
have twenty dollars worth ot groceries
in the store, and the clerk was dying oi
lonesomeness?" Peck's Sun.
Because a woman "figures in socie
ty" it is no sign that she knows the
multiplication table.
Terms, SI.OO por Year, in Advance.
Showincr What Rum will c*o to De
grade and Destroy Men.
;olin B. Gougli t* lis the following
"A minister of the gospel told me
one of the most thrilling incidents 1
Imye heard in my life. A member of
his congregation came homo for the
first time in his life intoxicated, and
his hoy met him upon the door step,
| clapping his hands and exc'aimiug,
j 44 Papa has come home!" He seized the
hoy hy the shoulder,swung him around,
staggered and fell in the hall. That
: minister said to me, 4, 1 spent the night
-in that house. I went out, bared my
brow that the night air might fall upon
it and c o it, I walked up and down
the hill. There was the child, dead !
there was his wife in strong convul
tions, and ne asleep." A man of about
thirty years asleep, witli a dead chi d
I in the house, having a mark upon his
temple where the corner cf the marble
I steps had come in contact with his
head as he swung him around, and a
i wife upon the brink of the grave ! 44 Mr.
Gough," said my friend, 44 1 cursed the
drink. lie had told me that 1 must
i remain until he awoke, and I did."
When lieu woke he passed tiis hand over
| his face and exclaimed, 44 What is the
| matter? where am I? where is my boy ?
"You cannot see him." "Stand out of
the way, I will see my boy." To pre
vent confusion I took him to the child's
j bed,and as I tuYned down the sheet and
; showed him the corpse he uttered a
j wild shriek, 44 Ah, my child!" That
minister said further to me, "One year
j after that he was brought from the
lunatic asylum to lie besides his wife in
the graye, and I attended his funeral."
i The minister of the gosoel who told
me that fact is to- lay a drunken host
ler in a stable in Boston. Now,tell me
what rum will not do. It will debase,
degrade, imbrute and damn everything
that is noble, bright, glorious and God-
Mike in human being. There is noth.
ing that drink will not do that is vile,
dastardly,cowardly,sneaking or hellish.
Whj are we not to light till the day of
our death?"
STRAW FOR FUEL.
44 Yes, I've lived out % West ten j
years," said a traveler,who was beard
ed like a forty-niner, "I mean on the
prairies of Newbraska. Great coun
try, too."
"What did the folks do for fuel ?"
''Well, nowad ivs we're following af
ter the R>oshuus, the Rooshun 3/en
nonites. you know,in the fuel busincsi
They are right smart and ingenious in
some tilings, and this is the way they j
get over the fuel difficulty :
44 riiey build their houses of four
rooms, all cornering together in the
center Right there they put up a
great brick oven, wjth thick walls.
From the furnace d tor back to the
backyaid is a passageway. Every
morning, noon anil night they lug a
jig of straw in from tie mack and
burn it in the furnace. The thick
brick wa Is get red hot, and stay so for
hours, warming every room in the
Even in the coldest weather
three iires a day in the furnace will
keep the house warm. For the cook
ing stoves w-barn cornstalks t) get
meals with, and thus our firms raise
our fuel as we go along. Pretty good
scheme, ain't it ?"
Ail Object Lesson.
An object lessou in the transmute
tion of virtues is conveyed in this,
paragraph from an exchange: Tenny
son can take a worthless sheet of pa- i
per, and by writing a poem on it
makes it worth $5,000. That's genius.
Vanderbiltean write a few words on a
sheet and make it worth $5,000,000.
That's capital. The United States caL
take an ounce and a quarter of gold,
and stamp upon it an 'eagle bird' and
make it S2O. That's money. The me
chanic can take the material worth $5
and make in into a watch worth SIOO.
That's skill. The merchant can take
an article worth 25 cents, and sell it
for sl. That's business The ditch
digger works ten hours a day, and
shovels out three or four tons of earth
for $2. That's labor.
In a Boudoir.
'What has become of Miss Lulu,
who was always such a favorite in
your set?'
'Her father failed some weeks ago,
and all they had was sold by the sher
iff.'
'Poor thing!'
'And now they have to live in a
small rented house down town.'
'What a change! How she must
grieve!'
'Yes. She is so much changed that
even her best friends would not reco
gnize her. I met her on the street to
day and did not know her at all, poor
thing!'
NO. 10.
A V ry S id Story.
NEWSPAPER LAWS.
If subscribers order the discontinuation of
newspapers, the p units hers may continue to
send them until nil arrearages are paid.
if subscribers refoHe or neglect to take their
newspapers from the ofllee to which they arc rent
they are held responsible until they haveeetUed
the bills at d ordered them discontinued.
If subscribers move to other places without tn
forming the publisher, and the newspapers ar©
Sent to the former it'sir". thevare resiont>ible.
l gas
ADVERTISING RATES.
1 wk. l mo. | 3 mos. U most 1 yea
1 square 92 00 ♦4OO | $5 00 $6 00 I 0)
ktCOlomn 4IX) 000 low 16 00 18 ot
Yi " 700 10 00 16 00 30 00 40 0)
1 " 10 00 1500 26 00 45 00 76 00
One inch makes a square. Administrators*
and Executors' Notices ©2.50. Transient adver
tisements and locals 10 cents per line for first
insertion aud 5 cents per Hoe for each addition
al insertion.
HUMOROUS,
Professor—"What can you say in
regard to the articulation of the
hones?' Student (doubtfully)—"l
don't think they articulate very much.'
There are some marriages which re
mind us of the poor fellow who said,
"She couldn't get any husband, and I
couldn't get any wife, so we got mar
ried.'
'A poet sends a contribution entitled
'Why do I live?' That is easy to
answer. It is because he sends his
contributions to this office instead of
bringing them in person.
An Illinois girl's heart is located on
the right side, and she says she can
not imagine how it came so, unless it
was squeezed over there from her
young man's habit of always hugging
with the right arm.
'Hello!' said the policeman. 'What
are you sitting out here in the cold
for? Why don't you go in the house;
have you lost your night key?' 4 No,'
responded the disconsolate citizen, 'I
—hie—havn't lost ther key. I've—
hie—lost ther key-hole.'
"Can you give me a little money
on that account of yours this morn
ing?' "No,I don't believe I can this
morning.' "Well, will you appoint a
time when you can? You have traded
with me a good deal, and have never
paid ine a cent.' "I know it. lam
a free-trader.'
'I don't see how you can endure
that Piffy girl, Jack," said his sister.
"I'm sure there's nothing in her.'
"Nothing in her, indeed! I just wish
you'd been with us to supper after the
theatre to-uight,' and he dropped a
tear over his buried salary.
She—'Only give up smoking for
one year, and I have no doubt you
will never touch tobacco again.' He—
' Well, I don't know; I did not smoke
onee for fifteen years, and then I be
gan and enjoyed it hUgely.' She—
' For fifteen years! You must have
been very young when you began.'
He—'l was fifteen.'
Dr. Perry,late bishop of Melbourne,
used to relate that on one of his official
rounds he was dining at a settler's
cabin 'in the bush,' his plate became
empty on the solitary vege able com
prised in the primative bill of fare;and
then one of his host's juvenile sons—
supposing 'Lord' and 'God' to be in
terchangeable terms,and having heard
the guest addressed as 'my Lord'—
piped out 'Pa, won't God have some
more potatoes?'
Podgers rushed into the sanctum
of the Ilammertown Bugle for satis
faction; and as he came out, and mon
opolized the stairway at one jump, he
exclaimed: Jewhilikens! but the very
chair that editor sits on is a revolver!'
A Jersey man was once thrown one
hundred and fifty feet by an express
train; when he picked himself up, look
ed around for his hat, and remarked,
'Well, if I don't find that er hat Pll
make the company pay for it.'
—
Teach Your Boys.
Teach them that a true lady may
be found in calico quite as frequently
as in velvet.
Teach them that a common school
education, with common sense, is bet
ter than a college education without
it.
Teach them that one good, honest
trade is worth a dozen professions.
Teach them that 'honesty is the
best policy'—that it is better to be
poor, than rich on profits of crooked
dealing.
Teach them to respect their elders
and themselves.
Teach them that, as they expect to
be men some day, they can not too
soon learn to protect the weak and
helpless.
Teach them that to wear patched
clothes is no disgrace, but to wear a
black eye is.
Teach them that God is no respec
ter of sex, and that when he gave the
seventh commandment he meant it for
them as well as for their sisters.
Teach them that by indulging their
depraved appetites in the worst forma I
of dissipation, they are not to become
the husbands of pure girls.