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THE MILLHEIM JOURNAL,
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY BY
Deininger & Bumiller.
Office in the New Journal Building,
Penn St., near Hart man's foundry.
SI.OO PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE,
OR $1.26 IF NOT PAID IN ADVANCE.
Acceptable Correspondence Solicited
Address letters to MILLHKTM JOURNAL.
The Outcast's Monody.
Bleak winds of winter, sobbing Igid moaning,
Pluck not mv rags with your pitiless hand.
Here in the darkness, cold and despairing.
Homeless and friendless, starving, 1 stand!
Scourged bv the white,lev whisps of the tempest,
1 wander"forlorn on ray desolate way-
Forgotten of earth, and forsaken of Heaven—
Too frozen to kneal. and too hungry to pra> .
I look at the stately and palace-like dwellings
That line with their grandeur the pathway 1
I fancy the brightness and warmth ot the hearth
The plcntlous board with the meat and the
I see the heads bowed with a reverent meaning—
A blessing Is brent lied.'er the sumptuous fare:
Will it rise to the ear of the pitiful father?
Or die of the cold, like the poor outcast s
Hark! the chln.e from the church tower above
me, . ,
Props solemnly down through the whirl of the
1 * storm;
Ah, me! could I pass through tne gate to the
portal! , , ,
Slee'n there and dream It .was lighted and
No rooui in the dwellings—no room in ihe
No room in the prison—l've committed no
*J . crime-
Is there no room in the bed of the river. I wonder.
I>ecp down iu the pier,in the ooze of the slime?
Meek on, taunting wind! lean laugh you an
answer: . .... a . ,
An hour aud your bitterest breath I 11 defy!
Since bars allut me out ot a liome among mor
111 knoekat the gateof Hod's home in thesky.
Yet, no—never—no! Avaunt thee, vile tempter!
The hand against life is a cowardly hand !
With Heaven supporting. I'll struggle and tri
And find my reward in yon Beautiful Land.
THE BABY MYSTERIES.
Where did you come from, baby dear?
Out of the everywhere into here.
Where did you get your eyes of bine?
Out of the skies as I came through.
What makes the light In them sparkle and spin?
Some of the starry spikes left in.£
Where did vouget that little tear ?
I found it waiting when I got here.
What makes your forehead so smooth and high?
A soft hand stroked it as I went by.
What makes your cheeks like a warm white rose.
I saw something better than any one knows.
Whence that three cornered smile of bliss ?
Three angels gave me at once u kiss.
Where did vou get this pearly ear?
God spoke, and it came out to hear.
Where did you get thase arms and hands?
Love made itself inio hooks and bands.
Feet, whence did you come, you darling things?
Front the same box as the cherub's wings.
How did they all come just to be you?
God thought about me, and so I grew.
But how did you come to us, you dear?
God thought about you, and so i am here.
ATTACKED BY STOW
Ay, ay, shipmates, I know it is my
turn now, so holdup while I get wind,
said old Jack Casewell, as we lay be
calmed off St. Verne one sultry day in
August, and to pass away the time,
that hung rather heavily on our bands,
were engaged in story-telling.
"Let's see," he began, after a mo
ment's reflection, "it was in the season
of '56, that I hired under old Captain
Warrenton, who run a scnooner on the
coasts of the Gulf. She was a small
craft, of not more than a hundred and
fifty tons burdeD, and on the trip I am
speaking o! was loaded at Mobile with
a cargo for New Orleans.
"Besides the skipper and myself,
then a lad of only fifteen,there was but
one hand. As the craft was easily
handled, and the runs short, Captain
Warrenton seldom ever shipped more
than four ; and on this time, when he
got ready to sail, and one of the men
couldn't be found, be concluded to
start; with me and the other one, a sai
lor named Ned Allen, for there was a
prospect of a quica and easy passage.
"There was great excitement in Mo
bile at the time over the escape of a
couple of villains from the jail, who
bad been recently captured and were
waiting trial for murder. 1 don't be •
lieve a tougher pair of rascals were ev
er found in Alabama than Ruell Victor
and Dennis Lorno. They hud killed
as many as half a dozen persons, to say
nothing of other crimes without num
ber of which they were guilty.
"You may guess that their escape
created no little disturbance, and they
were more dreaded than ever.
"The authorities did their best to re
capture them, but no trace of the des
peradoes could be found, and the day
we left port three thousand dollars re
ward was offered for them, or one-half
that sum for either of them.
4 'Well,we had a fair wind for a start,
and ran down the bay, standing off be
tween the Dauphin and the Point at a
"About that time I had occasion to
go into the fore-peak to get some rope
yarn. Now we had no forecastle part
ed off from the hold, as there was room
enough for all in the cabin, and we had
this stowaway in between the bows,
where we chuckled away our old tium-
"I was hard at work unlaying a piece
of rope for the yarns, when I thought I
heard a noise among the boxes in the
hold. Listening a moment with my
ear close to the bulk head, I kuew some
one was in there. As tbe captain and
Allen were above, I wondered who it
could be, and kept perfectly still, to see
if I could be.
"I was not kept in suspense long,for
pretty soon I heard a man speak, and
then another answered him.
DEININGER & BUMILLER, Editors and Proprietors.
"You may believe I was all atten
tion then, and I soon learned that onr
passengers were none others than Knell
Victor and Dennis Lome, the despera
does who had escaped from the Mobile
44 From what they said, 1 found that
they had crawled into the hold and
stowed themselves away so well that
we had not seen them when we had
finished loading. They had got provis
ion enough to live on a day or two, and
were planning to come on deck at dark,
overpower us and put to sea. They
were armed, and, what frightened me
the most (for you mast remember I was
only a boy, though nearly as large as I
am now,) they had hired Ned Allen to
help them ! This would make them
three against the captain and myself.
As they had been further aft when I
first came down, aud were now getting
back to their old corner, I felt that
they had not heard me, so I crept back
to the deck as quietly as posible.
"We were then leaving the light
house out of sight and it would soon
be dark, so that I was anxious to tell
the skipper what I had discovered.
14 As I came up from tlie fore-peak,he
was at the helm, while Allen was at
the main sheet. I guess I must have
looked a little startled, though I tried
to appear calm, for as I went aft he
asked me what was up ; but I only
shook my head, saying I didn't feel
very well, not daring to say any more
for fear of arousing Allen.
"I saw Captain Warrenton mistrust
ed something, for he seemed uneasy ;
and pretty soon he sent Allen into the
cabin for something, and asked again
what the trouble was, when I told him
"The captain was a big, brave man,
but lie trembled when I told my story.
"If we should put back for port it
would arouse the villains and they
would make short work of us, and, as
it was, our show was a small one.
"In a moment, however, the capt
ain asked if I thought I could carry a
steady hand in a tight fix ; and telling
him I could, for I knew our liyes were
depending on it, his eyes flashed as he
"Good, my boy ! If you don't fail
me, we will 11 ix the scoundrels, or my
name isu't Joe Warrenton. Keep up
your courage, do as I say, and fifteen
hundred dollars are yours."
"The captain was a powerful man,
and, now that he understood the game,
I knew the desperadoes would have a
hard fight to carry out their purposes.
If Allen only had been all right we
should have stood an even chance,
though we had no fire-arms aboard.
"Seeing Allen coming up the com
panion way at that moment, Warren
ton motioned for rae to tike the helm,
and hurried to meet the sailor just as
he gained the deck.
"Before the traitor saw what was
conning, the captain seized him by the
throat and bore the wretch to the deck,
just as if he had been a .child, without
any outcry escaping his lips.
"Getting a piece of tarred rope and
some bunting we gagged and bound the
ruffian in a few moments.
"There," said Captain Warrenton,
triumpantly, "our way is clear. But
these other scamps will be moving soon
so we must be ready for them."
"While the hatches were on we knew
the villains' only way of escape was
the fore-peak, and as the boards of the
bulkhead were thin they would easily
force away through. The cargo was
so stowed that they could not reach
the cabin bulkhead, ai d they could not
force the batches, so that we felt con
fident that that w T ould be their course.
"As it was then time that thev
might be moving and the wind was so
we had it on our beam, thu3 leaving
but little to do fcr the sails, the cap
tain got a couple of heavy hand-spikes
for our weapons, and we were ready
for action on the part of our foes.
"Soon after dark the skipper said he
heard them removing a board from the
"Captain Warrenton had cautiously
crawled forward behind the bltts by
the bow-sprit, weapon in hand, and
now motioned to me to leave the helm
and join him. The tiller was lashed so
that all was safe in that quarter.
"The night was starlight and just
light enough for our purpose.
"I had barely time to reach the bitts
which I had done in silence, when the
pcoundrels were moving in the rubbish
in the fore-peak.
"Pretty soon a couple of human
heads came into sight, and then the
villains stood upon deck not four feet
from where we were.
"The captian touched me,and I knew
the time for action had come.
"While the rascals stood for an in
stant as if trying to see where we
were, we sprung upon them.
"I seemed to possess ten times my
ordinary strength, I bad nerved myaejf
up so, and you may believe I put all
my power into a blow. However, the
villain saw me in season to partially
MILLHEIM, PA., THURSDAY, MARCH (}., 1884.
dodge it, so that it fell upon his should*
er, and the next I knew he had sprung
"But my second clip, which I was
not long in dealing, fetched him ; and
as he fell, Warrenton turned to help
me, lie having fixed his man at a single
"It was a good while before I could
realize that we had really oveiconn the
burly desperadoes ; but, there they
were, securely bound ; and, in spite of
their threats and entreaties, wo put
back to port aud gave them up to the
authorities, receiving the reward of
three thousand dollars, which the cap
tian generously shared with me.
"Ned Allen received his just punish
ment, while both of the others after
ward expiated their crimes on the gal
"Readily procuring a couple of new
hands, we again put to sea, none the
worse for our little adventure."
Advice to Husbands.
You have no right to take the pleas
ures of the home without also taking
its responsibilities. You owe some
thing to your children besides food,
shelter, clothing and education, lie
who gives them only this makes his
house only a half-orphans' asylum.
Every father ought to father his own
children. The evening hour ought to
be the children's. I know you have
come home tired ; I know the day has
been one long battle, and that you are
weary with questions to be answered
and problems to be solved. But I also
know that the best way to lay down
business cares is to take up home cares;
that the best wy to keep young is to
give an hour every dav after supper to
the children—to their sports,their stud
ies, their life-problems and their life
joys. lie that giveth his life shall save
it. But were it otherwise, it is uuhe
roic, unchivalric, cowardly, to run a
way and leave all the cares of the chil
dren at night on the same shoulders
which have borne them all the day.
You owe something else to your wire
than a house and money to keep it a
going. You would owe this to a
housekeeper. To leave Iter every even
ing and go oft to the gossip of your
club or of the village store is not keep
ing your promise to leave all others
and cleave only unto her. To leave her
to sit in loneliness while the azy clock |
ticks the hours away is not keeping
your promise to comfort and to cherish
her. When you took her from her
father's home you bound yourself to
provide her with a new one, and you
d<J not fulfil that pledge in providing
her a cell, however luxurious it may be,
for the lonely life of a married old
m;id. Xo wife ought to be left by
her husband to be a nun. Put yourself
in her place. Send her off for a wrek
on a visit ; spend your evenings alone
—six of them will be enough for an ex
periment—and see how you like it.
Or if you cannot persuade her to de
sert you for even a week, though you
have deserted her for many weeks, per
haps many a month,imagine your posi
tions reversed. Imagine her going oft
to her club, her sewin/ circle, her gos
sip witli a ueig hbor, night after night.,
leaving you to sit alone in your solitary
room -a married old bachelor. llow
would you like it ? Why is not sauce
for the goo3e sauce also for the gander V
llow dots your life look to you when
measured by the Golden Rule ? Are
you doing to the one you profess to
loye best as you would have her do to
It Sounded Funny.
Scotch Highlanders have the habit
when talking their English of inter
jecting tlie personal pronoun "he"
where not required, such as 'the King
he has come.' Often, in consequence a
sentence is rendered extremely ludi
crous A gentleman says he lately,
listened to the Rev. Mr.—,who began
his discourse thus: 'My friends, you
will find my text in the first epistle
general of Peter, fifth chapter and
eighth verse: 'The devil he goeth a
bout like a roaring lion seeking whom
he may devour.' Now, my brethren,
for our instruction I have divided my
text into four heads. Firstly, we
shall endeavor to ascertain who the
devil he was. Secondly, we shall in
quire into his geographical position,
namely, "where the devil he was and
where the devil he was going? Third-
I O O
ly, who the devil he was seeking.
And fourthly and lastly, we shall en
deavor to solve a question which lias
never yet been solved—what the devil
he was 'roaring about.'
Amelia (looking into a toy-shop win
dow)—' What loyelv dolls." Gallant
dude—'They look sweet enough to
kiss.' Amelia—'Yes; if 1 felt for kiss
ing just now I would kiss one of those
\ TAPER FOR THE HOME CIRCLI
It Didn't Suit Hor.
'But why don't you get married?'
said a bouncing girl, with a laughing
eye, to a smooth-faced, innocent-look
'Well,l ' said the youth , stopping
short with a gasp, noil fixing his eyes
on vacancy, with a puzzled aud foolish
'Well,go on/said the fair questioner,
almost imperceptibly inclining nearer
to the young man. 'Now just tell me
right out—you what?'
'Why, I—pshaw! I don't know.'
'Yon do—l say you do! Now, come, I
want to know.'
'Oh, 1 can't tell you '
'1 say you can. Who, you know I'll
never mention it: and jou may tell me,
of course, you know —for linvn't 1 al
ways been your friend?'
'Well, you have, I know,' replied the
'And I'm sure 1 always thought you
liked me,' went on the maiden, in ten
der and mellow accents.
'Oh, I do. upon my word—yes, in
deed, I do, Maria!' said the unsophisti
cated youth,very warmly; and lie found
that Maria had unconsciously placed
her hand in his open palm.
There was a silence.
'And then—well?' said Maria, drop
ped her eyes to the ground.
'Eh! Oh—well!' said John, dropped
his eyes and Maria's hand at the same
'l'm pretty sure you love somebody,'
said Maria, assuming a tone of raillery:
'I know you're in love; and, John, why
don't vou tell me all about it at once?'
' Well—l '
'Well, I—oh, you silly mortal! what
is there to be afraid of "
'Oh, it ain't because lain afraid of
anything at all; and I'll—,veil, now,
Maria. I'll tell you.'
'Well, now, John?'
'I AM in love!—now don't tell; you
won't will you?' said John, violently
seizing Maria by the hand, and locking
at her face with a most imploring ex
* Why, of course, you know, John, I"51
never breath a word about it: you know
I won't—don't you, John?'
This was spoken in a mellow whisper,
and the cherry lips of Maria were so
near John's ear when the spoke, that,
had he turned his head to look at her,
there might haye occured a dangerous
* Well, Maria,' said John, l I have told
you now, and so you shall know all a
bout it. I have always thought a great
deal of you. and '
'I am sure you would do anything
for me that yon could?'
'Yes, John, yon know I would.'
4 Well, I thought so, and you don't
know how long I've wanted to
you about it.'
'I declare, John, I—yon might have
told me long since if you wanted to
for I am sure I never was angry with
you in my life.'
'No, you weren't; and I had often a
great mind to—but '
'lt's not too late now, you know,
'Well, Maria, do you think I am too
young to get married?'
'lndeed I do not, John; and I know it
would be a good thing for you too; for
everybody says that the sooner young
people get mirriel the better, when
they are prudent and inclined to love
'That's just what I think; and now,
Maria, I do want to get married; and if
'lndeed I will, John—for you know I
was always partial to you—and I've
said so often and often behind your
'Well, I declare, I have all along
thought you would opject, and that's
the reason I've been afraid to ask you.'
'Object? No, I'll die first. You may
ask of me anything you please,'
'And you'll grant it?'
'Then, Maria, I want you to pop the
question for me to Mary Sullivan,
'I)o you loye Mary Sullivan?'
'Oh! indeed I do, with all my heart!'
'I always thought you were a fool!'
'I say you're a fool! and you'd better
go home—your mother wants you! Oh,
you—you—you stupid!' exclaimed the
mortified Maria, in a thrill tremble; md
she gave John a slap on the cheek that
sent him reeling.
John went his way in a state of per
plexity, wondering what in thunder
Maria could get so mad about.
'Say, Bill, where dy'e git them long
cigars?' Outside the Brunswick. When
a dude buys a first-class cigar lie takes
about two puffs, gits sick and throws it
away,an'l lay fur it- Betcher life dudes
wasn't created fur liothin'.'
Did it ever occur to you, among the
general fluctuations of prices, that um
brellas ''go up" oftener than anything
Money in Frogs
The game laws are very strictly en
forced in New Jersey, and the offenders
are so severely punished that it is not a
'paying business to lake game out of
season. A hunter ever there when asK
ed how the professional hunters found
employment during the portion of the
year when they were prohibited from
killing birds and animals, said:
'Oh, some of us go to work on the
farms, but a few turn our attention to
hunting frogs and reptiles.'
'How can you make any money by
that kind of limiting?'
'Easy enough. There is considerable
money in frogs.'
'Can you sell them?'
'Yes, to some extent. There are res
taurants in New York, Philadelphia
and othercities where l'rogs are a dainty
dish, much in demand, as the hind leg 3
of the frog are the only portions of the
creature that are eaten, a great many
frogs are necessary for a meal for u
'llow do you catch frogs?'
'We capture the creature by means
of a long pole, at the end of which is a
small net. It is not very difficult to
catch a frog. You see one of them sit
ting upon a log or a stone at the side of
a pond or creek. Poor froggie sits there
winking, blinking and dozing away,
entirely unconscious of approaching
danger. You slyly reach out with
your net and scoop in the frog. Noth
ing is more simple. No stradegy is re
•A lug bullfrog must be a great prize,'
the reporter observed.
'That's just where you are mistaken,'
said the informant. 'The big bullfrogs
are not as good eating as the little fel
lows. By the term little fellows I don't
mean the creatures which have only
just emerged from the tadpole state,but
those which are about half-grown.'
'You have spoken of hunting diffrent
kinds of reptiles. Do you mean snakes?'
'Yes; but that part of the business is
nearly played out. There was a time
not long ago when snakeskins were in
demand. We sold the skins to taxider
masts and to other purchasers, who
used them for various purposes. There
is one kind of snake which makes very
wholesome and delicious food.'
'And what kind snake may that
'Where is the rattlesnake eaten?'
'To some extent in western New
:ersey and some portions of Pennsylva
nia. Rattle snake tastes very much
like an eel, as I can testify from my
own personal experience.'
Willie Howe reclined gently on a
fawn-colored divan at the Palmer house
Chicago, and was inhaling a cigarette
as the police reporter gave him a pleas
ant "Hellow, mister!" and, in an ab
sent manner,scraped his muddy feet on
the beautiful silk-velvet carpet.
'Great guns! young fellow,' said the
reclining figure; 'please retire; have
your personel attractions polished, and
then return; first having your card
sent to me on a silver salver;'
'The scribe retired unabashed for he
had heard of lofty manners and anti
quated customs, and went through a
bath, visited a barber, stood monarch
over a bootblack, and then returned.
'I had tho most, vulgar-appearing tel
low here a while ago, 1 commenced Mr.
Ilowe, but he was interiupted by the
Beg pardon; please don't be too per
sonal. I hope I appear in a satisfactory
condition. 'Then with profuse apolo
gies for not recognizing him, the host
dismissed the subject.
So you want to know if we are trou
bled with burglars and sneak-thieves?'
interrogated Mr. Ilowe,afterthe report
er had explained his mission. 'Well, I
am happy to say that we are not, and
have not been since last winter. The
last hotel thieves that bothered us any
are now safely housed at Joliet, and no
others care about following in their
path. You see, a hotel thief is gener
ally an inconsequential fellow in the
annals of crime, for if he were not he
would not take such great risks for a
paltry %va*tch, an over-coat, a satchel,or
a small sum of money—none of which
would bring him over S2O or S3O. If he
ever succeeds in securing that much for
his plunder he is extremely lucky. It
is seldom the hetel thief gets a big
stake, for travellers generally leave
their valuables,not around their rooms,
but iu the vault, and it is generally mi
nor articles that are taken. It is very
seldom that they get over S2O in cash.
Some of these thieves will follow a man
for miles. I have known of cases where
a jewelry man with a large line of sim
ples would be followed all the way frm
New York. They generally take excell
ent cart of their goods, however, and
never leave them in a room without a
watchman. Hotel thieves never pick
locks, always watching a chance to
slip into a room when the door is un
locked and the occupant has stepped
out for a moment.'
'No, sir, Idon't hire out to that farm
er. His confounded fences are all
barbed wire,and I can't get a minute's
rest on 'em."
Terms, SI.OO per Year, in Advance.
Items of Interest.
A Michigan man has trained Ins
cat to visit a grocery and steal mack
erel for him.
The highest postage rate from the
United States is to Patagonia and the
Island of St. lie lena —twenty-seven
cents per half ounce.
The discovery has been made in
San Francisco that some of the China
men there arc owned and have been
bought and sold as slaves.
A few changes of the homestead
law are proposed, the principal one
being thut the settler is allowed one
year in which to establish his home,
and not six months as at present.
The 400 Arizona camels let loose
when the Southern Pacific was com
pleted have Is i en bought for SIO,OOO
and will he recaptured and used on
abort freight lines across the desert.
Jacob Millikcn of I>unstan, Me., on
the anniversary of his 100 th birthday
made a singular confession; "I voted
for Thomas Jefferson for his sesond
term, although I lacked two month of
It is a curious and important fact
that pieces of wire cable of the Fair
mount Suspension Bridge, recently
taken down at Philadelphia, after lie
ing in use some forty years, were
found to lie fully equal in tenacity,
elasticity and ductility to the liest
wire of that size now in the market.
Among the new applications of cot
ton is its use, in part, in the construc
tion of houses, tin* material employed
for this purpose living the refuse,
which, when ground up with about an
equal amount of straw and a sliest 03,
is converted into a paste, and this is
formed into large slabs or bricks,
which acquire, it is said, the hardness
of stone, and furnish a really valuable
A poor widow of Bath, Me., was
agreeably surprised the other morn
ing by the appearance of twenty men
with axes and saws, who without any
ceremony, attacked her wood pile and
sawed and split until the whole pile
was reduced to wood size.
Disoovery of Iron and Steel.
In an address on technical training
delivered before the alumni association
of Lehigh University. Thomas M.
Drown pictures the discovery of me
tallic iron and steel in this way:
"Nearly all the early discoveries in
the arts were the result of accident or
hap-hazard experiment. We can well
imagine that a fire large and intense
enough to reduce iron from its ore
must often have been made in acci
dental contact with surface ore, and
that the presence of the metal in the
ashes must have attacted attention.
This observation once made, there
would follow a series of experiments
to determine the conditions under
which metal was produced, and the
substances necessary for its production.
It would not long escape intelligent
observation that a certain brown earth,
or may be a black rock, was the sub
stance which yielded the metal, and
that the fire was the necessary condi
tion of its formation. But the iron
thus accidentally produced—a mixture
of metal, cinder and ashes was of no
value till further experiment revealed
the fact that the metal could when hot
lie united by hammering into one mass,
with the separation of cinder and oth
er extraneous matter. The discovery
of this property prompted still further
experiment. The irregularity of the
product would suggest the more per
fect control of the fire, and smelt furn
aces would be built. In the course of
time it would be noted that the iron
was not uniform in hardness, and an
accident would be sure to reveal the
fact that sometimes the metal, when
suddenly cooled in water, would be
come intensely hard. This new line
of investigation would result in the
production of steel."
lie would not marry her because she
had false teeth. But when his wife
kepi him awake for nights with tootn
ache and neuralgia, he wished he had.
'How's business to-night?' was the
question asked at the box otlice. 'Well,'
was the reply, 'the house is hafl full,
the stage manager a little more than
half full, and the leading comedian full
to over flowing!'
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Next Door to JOURNAL Store, MalnlStreet,
Hogarth and the Speotre.
Hogarth, the celebrated painter,
was an intimate friend of Fielding,
and, after his friend's decease, was in
consolable because he had not painted
his portrait. One morning, when the
artist was working alone in his studio,
he thought he heard a voice resem
bling that of his deceased friend, sav
ing, in a sepulchral tone: 'Hogarth,
come and paint me! '
The painter started up ; but think
ing it was the effect of his imagina
tion, resumed his seat, and went on
with his work. Some moments after,
lie heard distinctly the same voice, re
peating the some words. Imagining
somebody was playing a trick, he rose
quickly from his chair and opened the
door of his room; then recoiled with
horror on recognizing Fielding, who,
advancing toward him, said, in a kind
''Fear nothing, my friend; your
complaints have reached my ears.
Make haste to catch my features, as I
have only a quarter of an hour to re
Hogarth, much moved bv this
strange sight, had hardly time to seize
his pencil and sketch the phantom,
when it vanished from his sight.
On recovering from the agitation in
to which he had been thrown by this
adyenture, he called his servants and
asked them if any person had entered
the house ; but as they all declared
that they had seen no one, lie was o
bliged to wait for time to clear up the
mystery ; taking care, nevertheless, to
hang the picture up against the wall of
the room, in oider to see what effect it
would have upon his visitors, nearly all
of whom had known Fielding.
It is imposible to express the joy of
the artist when he saw the sensation
produced by the portrait upon the best
am iti us of London ; but in spite of
tikis, he still felt uneasy concerning
the curious manner iu which he had be
come possessed of it.
He related his adventure to Garrick,
the well-known tragedian, from whom
he concealed nothing; and greatly wa9
his surprise increased, as subsequently
he received the following answer from
'•For a long time I shared your re
grets at not having taken a likeness of
Fielding, and finally I icsolved to per
sonate your friend, iu order to give
you an opportunity of doing *o."
Although Hogarth was one of Gar
rick's most ardent admirers, he could
only be convinced of the truth of this
statement by the repetition of the same
scene the following day, by which the
actor completely convinted him of his
wonderful powers of pautomime. Gar
rick aided, in conclusion :
"I confess I owed my secret entrance
to an old servant of yours, whose death
not long siucs freed me from the prom
ise 1 made him to keep it secret."
A society young lady told her illiter
ate but wealthy lover that she was
going to give a germ an, and he said that
he'd ba sure to come, he was very fond
A small boy who stood gazing wist
fully at a large candy man in a city con
fectioner's window, suddenly exclaim
ed: 'I could lick that fellow % with both
hands tied behind my back.'
It Certainly Would.
One day three or four weeks ago a re
tail grocer over in Jersey sat down with
his clerk one evening and said:
'James, T owe New York houses over
'We have S2OOO in cash in the safe,
t'le stock is all run down, and this
would be the time to fail in business.'
It certainly would.'
'But I want a reasonable apology to
give my creditors when they come down
on us for explanations. See if you can't
think of something to-r.ight and let me
kuow in the morning.'
The clerk promised, and the grocer
wheeled a chest of tea and a bag of cof
fee home as a beginning. Next morn
ing when he appeared at the store
the safe was open, the cash gor.e
and on the desk was a note from the
'1 have taken tue S2OOO and am pre
pared to skip. It will be the best ex
case in the world for youy failing so flat
that creditors can't realize 2 cents on