Millheim Journal. (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, December 06, 1883, Image 1
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY FN MUSSER'S BUILDING, OMMr mt Main and Penn St*., at SI.OO PER ANNUM, TN ADVANCE; Or C 1.36 if not paid ta advaaoa. Acceptable Correspondence Solicited, GP"AAdrMS all letter* to "MILLHETM JOURNAL." The Long, Long Days. Tho wind has found its dream In grasses doop and cool, Iho lilies their still pool, The willow its fair stream; The roes Its crown of flowers, The leaves their silver showers, In tho long, long days. Tho bird,has (band its mate, The bee its clover bloom. The wild wood its perfnme, The brook the river's gate; And peace And drowsy sleep Their charmed watches keep. O'er the loag, long days. The sea has found its rest. The river its while sails, The hills their purple veils, The heart its eager quest. And now life standing still. Has neither wish nor will, In the long, long days. Starlight and sunset meet. Above the dreaming flowers, Time dare not speed his hours, The stillness is so sweet, But bids thorn hush and wait, For fear of waking Fate, In the long, long days! Susan Harllry, in The Continent. A Thrilling Adventure. In the year 1875 I accepted an invi tation to visit the Nsilgherry Hill and the western ghants. "NVe had very fine sport of a description quite new to me, but my companions showed incip ient signs of fever and hurried back to Ooty. Shooting alone is stupid work after youth's enthusiasm has worn off, and I was thinking of wending my way back, too, when on arriving at Pullikul the Kurders told me they had lost several men lately from man-eat ing tigers. I instantly remembered my youthful adventures. It is true, many a royal tiger, panther, behe moth, taurus, bear and buffalo, to say nothing of deer, Ac., had fallen by my hand in the interval ; for I had been a persistent and fortunate shikaris ; but I bad never forgotten the panthers of Neermul, no; the abominable bath giv en me by one of thera, which dis charged a meal of human flesh into my face as I plunged mv knife into his heart. I had killed many man-eat ers, but had run no great risk from them, for I had generally been mount ed on an elephant; now I determined to follow them up on foot to the death. The villagers said they thought there were a couple of them, a male and fe male ; and that they never went very far, killing one or two people every three or four days. I pitched my tent near the village and organized a gang ; these men are famous trackers, but no rain had fallen for many weeks, and the whereabouts of the felines could not be discovered by their trail : they were not heard of until some one was missing. Their depredations extended for miles around, and the wailing of a family bereft of its support was only too frequent. I went from place to place, sometimes only accompanied by one shikarie, Chiniah, who had been with me some years, or with beaters, trying to drive out these pests; but for three weeks I had no luck ; they were never at home. At last the brutes took to killing my men, and I lost two out of my gang. I begged of the rel atives to allow me to sit over the re mains, but they would not, removing the bodies and burning them. True, I had never been partial to such proceed ings as night shooting, and I was not so keen as I had been many years be fore ; still, I had the dogged disposi tion of a bull-dog, and did not like to be beaten, yet what was I to do ? Peo ple were constantly killed, and I could get no sight of their slayers. I had one week left; I wrote to have bear ers laid from Coimbatore to the nearest point to the Anamullies on a certain day, and despairing of ridding the country of these animals, I was march ing along silently, accompanied by my two shikaries, when I heard what I knew to be a death shriek. I hastened, almost ran, toward the sound, little heeding what noise I made as I tore through the jungle, followed by my sat ellites ; but 1 might have known, had I given it a thought, that I should frighten the slayer away. There lay a wood-cutter, with his skull fractured by a single blow ; he had been also seized by the neck, whence the blood poured in torrents ; but the man was stone dead. Here was my opportunity ; the man would not be missed before it was too late to search for him, so as I had a little food with me, I determined to sit over the remains. The moon was at its brightest; I would not al low the body to be touched; it lay partially hidden by some fallen bam. boos; so, tolling my men to prepare a machan on the nearest tree, about ten yards off, I examined the ground. There was a ravine close by, up which the monster had crept and pounced up on his victim ; he would probably re turn that way. I saw but the marks of one tiger, while my men declared they hunted in couples; they (the men) were also very reluctant to sit over the body, being superstitious that they would ever be bunted afterward, but I lbt mUwm Journal. DEININGER &: BUMLLLEK, Editors and Proprietors. ! VOL. I,VII. knew if I did not avail myself of this chance I should get no other ; so I was firm, and told them remain they must We erected the maehan as noiselessly as possible. Tigers are often driven off by tho nois? men make while pre paring a cache with which to slay them. My men urged the danger we ran of getting jungle fever by sleeping out at night. I merely told thein to hold their tongues and to mount, and if 1 heard either of them utter a sound or make the least noise I would fasten him down to the corpse. The men knew I did not threaten and not per forin, so, unwilling as they were, per force they had to obey in silence. We arranged bushes to hide our placo of concealment ; we had no bedding, no pillows, and the bamboos which com posed the floor of our platform were not very even or smooth, therefore not pleasant to sit on for some ten or twelve hours, during which we could move neither hand nor foot. As the moon arose the trees behind us cast their shadows over the place where the poor wood-cutter was lying. Time passed. It must have been about ten. and I was dozing, when my arm was grasped by Chiniah. Looking round, I found bis teeth chattering and his face as pale as a corpse, while the other man, with his hands over his face, sat trembling. From these I looked toward where Chiniah's horri fied gaze pointed to something un earthly. 1 knev the fellow was afraid of nothing living, but of the unseen spirits he had a dreal. I. too, was taken aback. The ghastly body of the wood-cutter was slowly moving to and fro; the arms and legs occasionally lifted up, while no agent was visible. It made my blood run cold, and I felt a sensation as if cold water was being poured slowly down my back along the spine. I seldom touch spirits, but take some with me in case of accidents or need. I took a nip myself and gave the two natives a strong dose each. Still the horrible contortions continued, and I knew not what to make of them. "Did I not tell you, Sahib," whis pered Chiniah, "how wrong it was to sit up over the hotly of a Hindoo? We should have carried him to the village and had him burned ; but now we are all dead men ; he will arise presently and kill us." "Hold your tongue, you fool," I re plied ; "the dead come not to life again in this world ; there is some trick ba ing played upon us." "Who would venture into these jun gles at this time of night with those cursed man-eaters about? " said Chin iah. "I don't know; but keep quiet." Here a jackal came along the ravine and out into the open, and approached the corpse ; but getting within a few yards, put his tail between his legs, and, with a frightened cry of the Pheeal, ran for his life. "Will you believe me now, Sahib?" said Chiniah. I was getting nervous. It is a hor rid sight to see a body full of life only a few hours before, lying out in the moonlight, in its last sleep, and to know that it met its death by the fell stroke of a tiger. But the body moved backward; its face before hidden be came exposed ; first one eye opened, then the other, closing and opening in a most diabolical way. There was not a sound, and I must own 1 should have been glad to have been in bed in my tent, and never to have seen such a sight; but, thank goodnees, our sus pense was not to last much longer. My two followers had succumbed—l believe they had fainted. Watching intently, I saw glide across the chest of the dead the head of an immense rock snake. It was wider than a largo plate across, and its tongue was licking the corpse all over. The movement of the limbs ami the opening and shutting of the eyes wore fully explained. My feeling of horror disappeared, and I watched the beat's every movement. Digging my penknife into Chiniah, 1 made him almost spring off the ma chan. After staring like a mad man for awile he perceived the python, and was, if possible in a greater panic. "He is thirty cubits long," he uttered, "and will swallow the wood-cutter first and us afterward." I gave a silent laugh, and pointed to the rifles. The movements of the snake were inaudi ble, but we could see the disgusting process of covering the body with sa liva, and after fully two hours, he opened his horrid jaws and began to swallow the body head foremost. Now a python's teeth are so arranged that once anything enters his mouth it can not be ejected again. Gradually the head and neck disappeared, then the shoulders and up to the waist, when there was a terrific roar. A tiger sprang from a cover right on to the python, seizing hiin by the back of the neck. I have no doubt that death was in stanteous, as far as the snake was con cerned, but his huge body, in circum ference equaling a man's, and nearly thirty feet long, in convulsive move- MILLIIEIM, PA., THURSDAY, DEC mente, wound round the tiger, and wi could hear the bones being crushed one after tho other. The roar the tiger gave at the first squeezo was appalling; but in a few moments the roars turned into means, the moans into a gurgling sound, and gradually they, too, ceased, while the contort ions of the snake con tinned for over an hour. 1 never saw such a frightful sight. What is man n p or his strength compared to that of either of the beasts lying dead before us? We were speechless wilh horror and surprise at the denouement, and at (he amazing strength of a moribund snake. All signs of life ceased, and we had dozed for awhile, when we were awakened by the noise of tearing of flesh. Peeping over our leafy panoply, there was a tiger, or tigress, making a meal off either the snake, its own kind or the dead man. The moon was un der a cloud, so 1 waited patiently until it shone again, and then aiming as well as 1 could for the shoulder, 1 tired both barrels, and the tigress, for such she proved, rolled over and over, growl ing and roaring, and at last crawled into the ravine, whence we could hclir her until close upon daylight, when it ceased ; and, with it, I Knew either that she had crawled away or died. Waiting until full daylight, we de scended from our perch. We first sought the tigress. She lay dead. We then examined the three bodies, which presented much the appearance of La ocoon in the embrace of the serpents. Although life had been extinct for several hours, when we tried to unrav el the coils from the tiger's body they resisted so stoutly that I had to send to the village for assistance With the aid of over twenty men, and by cut ting open the jaws, we released tlie body of the wood-cutter and stretched out the body of the python ; it meas ured 25 1-2 feet long. The tiger had bitten clean through the vertebra? just behind the junction of ihe head and body. The tiger, one of the largest I ever saw, as he measured 10 feet 2 inches in length, was as if he had been beaten into a jelly ; his bones were crushed to powder. The poor wood cutter was cremated the same after noon ; the two tigers and snake were despoiled of their skins, and 1 never afterward sat up at night over any ki l !—nor do I wish ever to do so again. The "Homing'* Faculty. I must say that I much doubt whether the faculty which enables dogs and other animals to find their way home is rightly called intelligence, although intelligence, no doubt, fro quently has some share in the result Human beings are much more Intelli gent than dogs, and yet how few of them,if placed unexpectedly in the same circumstances as poor "Jacob"—that is, carried off in the dark along streets and roads altogether unknown to them, to a place miles away, where they had never been before/and to the position and bearings of which they had not the very slightest clue—how few of them, I say, would within a reasonable time find their way back again, at least if they trusted to their intelligence alone, and did not ask questions or con sult maps. Fats, on the other jiand, are rightly regarded as less intelligent than <logs, and yet they enjoy tho rep utation of being more skilful in finding their home again. A calf, too, is com monly supposed to be a type rather of stupidity than intelligence, and yet 1 know of one instance which seems to show that this "homing" faculty is, or may be, at least as strong in a calf as in the most intelligent of dogs. Some fifteen years ago I was staying at a friend's house at Linton, a small mar ket town about ten miles from Cam bridge. On the morning after my ar rival 1 perceived that something un usual was going on outside the house, and on making inquiry I was told that a calf six weeks old, which had bo longed to my friend, but had been sold the previous afternoon and carried away in a cart to a farmhouse somo five miles distant, had come back homo to its mother. Now, had the calf come back along the road by which tho cart had conveyed it to its new home, much surprise would, no doubt, have been felt at such a signal instance of sagacity in so young an animal; still, there would not have been anything particularly extraordinary in the mat ter. But the call* had not followed the road, which was circuitous, in conse quence of the hilly character of the country. A boy had seen it start off from the farm, and had followed it the whole of the way, vainly attempting to catch it, and so the route it had taken was known. It had gone at a quick pace in the most direct line pos sible from its new home to its old one, and in doing so it had climbed a hill and passed through a wood which crowned the summit of that hill. Here, surely, the faculty which guided the calf was not intelligence alone.— London Times. A PAPER FOR THE HOME CIRCLE. A CHINESE THEATER. Vl<ll tooue In Snn Kißnelico.-AtteP the Performative. —An Oriental llnncinet. Describing a visit to tho Chinese quarters of San Francisco, a corre spondent says: In tlie rounds of regular sight-see ing ail strangers go to the (Jrand Theater, or playhouse of the "Donu Quai Yuen," where melodrama and tragedy alternately excite the audience to shouts of laughter and rounds of aj>- plause. Tho performance begins at 5 o'clock in the evening and lasts until midnight, and the historical plays often run for a week before tho one drama is completed. The actors arc ;ill brought over from tho old country, at salaries ranging from $-000 to SOOOO a year. At times troops of jugglers and acrobats have come over for short er engagements, and' occasionally a famous singer or musician. The drama goes on with tine disregard to unities, and the scenic accessories are so meager that much is left to the imagination. Women never appear on the Chinese stage, and their parts are taken by gifted men. who mince around the stage in the little foot hop and talk a piping falsetto. The costumes are often of great richness and splendor, and some of the robes of superb bro cades and of satins stiff with needle work and gold thread, are worthy of places in an art museum. The eastern visitors go daft over the Chinese theater and want to attend steadily, but to the San Franciscan it is the height of niarvtrdom to endure the constant accompaniment of the gong, the wooden drum and the one-stringed fiddle, on which the orchestra play a wailing sort of tune that half-way re sembles "Old Tom Tucker" and "There is a Happy Land." After tho theater comes the Hang Fer Low Restaurant, where the plebeians sit below stairs and the gentry ascend two or three tiers of kitchens to the upper floor, where they are seated in gilded alcoves and served with cups of wonderful tea, ac companied by preserved ginger and citron, and lychee nuts. Great ban quets are given at the Hang Fer Low by the swells and the rich merchants of Chinatown at costs ranging from SSO tos2oo. Invitations on vermilion paper are sent out days beforehand, and when the circle of guests assemble at the round table on the appointed evening incense sticks are burning, the board is decked and a native orchestra is squeaking and hammering away in an alcove. The Chinese are an al>- stemious race, and the table, when set for one of these great banquets, re sembles a dolls' tea party, all the viands visible at the First course being just about enough for a schoolboy's lunch. A saucer of ginger, a saucer of cocoa nut slices, a pear cut into many sec tions and ready to fall apart at a tap, a dish of lychee nuts and some queer bis cuits filled with chopped meat and decorated exteriorly with parsley leaves, generally occupy the center of the table. A tea-cup and china spoon, and a little thimble of a glass for holding the fiery rice brandy, are set before each guest, and after the courses of abalono soup, bird's nests and un speakable fishes and fowl, the enter tainment winds up with a whiff of opium all round in any of the little alcoves that open from the dining hall. Chinatown abounds in dozens of odd characters and celebrities; and pictu resqueness and dreadful smells mark every foot of this older part of tho city that they have converted into a genuine bit of Ilong Kong. AYhile opium joints and gambling dens are strictly against the law, the special policemen will pilot people around to them and treat them to sights that surpass the evils and degradation of any great city. A Japanese Sclioolhonse. Bosule, the clear, crystal waters of a running stream and surrounded with lilies, says a correspondent, writing from Japan, we noticed on our way up Tuji-Yama, the .Japanese sand moun tain, what we thought to be a school house and our curiosity prompted us to ask admittance. There were some fif teen children in the room, which was furnished with long, plain tables. There appeared to be no check upon the children, who were moving about and conversing w r ith each other. The master was teaching the smaller ones the characters of the written language by writing them on a blackboard and requiring them to repeat the sounds indicated by them. Some were engag ed in writing upon their slates, others in arithmetical calculations and others in reading or committing to memory from text-books. There seemed to be an entire freedom from restraint, and we were surprised at the happy and contented manner in which they pur sued their studies. Bright and intelli gent little fellows they looked, and from what we have seen of -the youth of Japan we are convinced there is much to be expected from them. EMBER 6, 1883. AMONO THE OLD MODELS. Nome of the Citrlons ContrtTneei that Kerlr luvmtore Patented. The model room of the Patent Office is the most bewildering place of all those which the sight-seers visit in Washington. Tho National Republi can says for those people who have a taste for machinery there is fascination there for a life-time. Even for those who know and oare nothing for wheels, levers, screws, pulleys, and their com binations, there is a picture suggested by each intricate contrivance of the maker, studying, planning, drawing over his work, sometimes hopeful, sometimes despairing, occasionally losing sight of tho difficulties in his way while thinking of the wealth suc cess will bring him. Almost any well known instrument or machine in use to -day which is at all complicated is not an invention, but an army of inventions, and the history of it is written in the cases which con tain the models in the patent office. That of the cotton loom or the steain engine may be more thrilling for the mechanician, but the story of tho sew ing machine is easiest to read for ordinary people. The models of sew ing machines and their parts are num bered by the thousands. The oldest label which appears upon any of them is dated February 21,1842. The in scription is "P. James Greenough, Washington, I). ('., machine for sewing straight seams." The instrument itself lo<ks like a small section of ele vated railway, and it turns with a hand crank, it does not appear how it could ever sew a "seem." The next one was patented December 27, 1843, by (. W. Corliss, who calls it on the label a "sewing engine." It is an enormous thing, and in some respects bears a suggestion of the Corliss engine which ran the machinery at the Cen tennial Exhibition. There is also a suggestion of the much later machine for making barbed wire fencing. It looks as if it was intended to run bj horse power. There are quite a num ber of those old models, which bear no resemblance to each other or to the modern sewing machine. Nothing in the shape of the machine used to day appears until ten or twelve years later, when Howe and Singer found their gold mine. Then men began to invent all kinds of sewing machines and attachments—more and more every year—but nearly all of them are variations of the modern machine. With them came the idea of putting on tucks and flounces and many seams. With them also came the sewing machine agent and the instalment plan. The queerest and apparently the most useless model in the sewing machine collection is for the long bar forms tho top of all sewing machines. This one is made in the form of an animal couchant. The ani mal may be a cat; it looks very like a squirrel, and something like a rabbit A long, flat tail, curled along its back, appears to have been used for a handle. One forepaw is uplifted as if about to strike something. Through this the needle works. There are but one or two models in the building of a date earlier than 1836 and but few older than 1854. Probably the earliest patent in this country was that granted by the com monwealth of Massachusetts to Samuel Winslow, who had invented a method of manufacturing salt. "None are to make this article," said tho patent, "except in a manner different from his, provided he set up his works within a year." As early as 1773 John Shipman ap plied for a patent on mills to he run by tho ebb and flow of the tide, and got a monopoly for forty years for running his tide mills anywhere in the town of Saybrook. Since then the same thing has been many times unsuccessfully tried. Benjamin Dearborn, of New Hamp shire, was a famous inventor 100 years ago, and in 1787 obtained patents for printing press, balances or scales, and a hand tire engine. Origin of the Reclining Chnlr. Mr. Henry Ilavard, in his recently published work, "L'Art dans le Sa lon," attributes the invention of the reclining chair to a curious piece of etiquette scrupulously observed in France during the period of the old French monarchy. Whenever the king visited an invalid whose illness was of such a character as to force him to keep his bed, a second bed was inva riably placed in the room close to the sufferer's couch. His majesty reclined on the spare bed, and lay in a recum bent posture during the entire time occupied by the visit. When Louis XIII visited Cardinal Ilichelieu during his illness, this cumbrous etiquette was rigidly adhered to, as it was likewise when Louis XIY went to see Marshal Yillars after he received his wound. Th 2 second bed, by successive modifi cations, became eventually the mod ern reclining chair.— St. lames' Gazette. Terms, SIOO Per Year in Advance. SCIENTIFIC SCRAPS. Prof. O. Sormani and Dr. E. Drug aatelli have failed to detect the para lite of tnberculosio in the breath constunptive patients, making it appear that consumption is not Infectious. During his late journey in Central Asia, Dr. Ventikofif discovered the horse, the camel and the goose in their wild state. They showed no fear ot man even after some of their number had been shot. Volcanic disturbances in the island of Ischia are usually preceded by a turbid appearance of water in bath® where it is generally clear. To detect such change arrangements have been made for regular chemical exainina tions of the baths as well as of welli and springs. The Zoological Gardens of Berlin contain a living specimen of a new ostrich, which has just been described by Dr. Reichenow under the name ol Strutliio Molybdophanes. This species inhabits the deserts of Somali I and and the Western Galla country, ex tending on the east coast of Africa from 10 degrees north latitude to the equator. Prof. Tyndall has found that the moisture in the air oi an ordinary room absorbs fifty to sev enty times as much of the radiant heal as the air does. Moisture is the regu lator and conservator of the heat, and in duo quantity acts like a blanket, by protecting us from a too sudden cool ing or heating. Hot-air furnaces, or any other heating apparatus which overheats the air, and dries and scorches it are therefore unhealthv Dr. Domingo Freire of Rio Janeiro, the discoverer of the yellow fever fungus cryptoeoccus xanthogenicus,has made the experiment of transferring this fungus into the system of animals by injection, and has obtained satis factory confirmation of his theory. The inoculated animals, after a very short time,showed all the symptoms of yellow fever, and on dissection their blood was found to be full of the germs of the cryptoeoccus xanthogenicus. Connection Between Colors and Sounds. Some curious experiments have late ly been made to show the connection between colors and sounds. The blind, it is tvell known, often translate sound into color. An ophthalmologist of Xantes discovered that a sharp note produced on one of his patients a brighter, and a flat note a darker im pression of color. Different musical instruments have given different re sults. The saxophone brought out a sense of yellow ; the clarionet, of red ; the piano, of blue. The impressions produced by the human voice were more delicate shades of yellow, green, red and blue. The seat of the color was always in the direction of the sound. In choir-singing, M. Pedrono'i patient "noticed a multitude of colors formed in small points above the heads of the choristers." Analogous to these were the experi ments of Frof. Iloleman, of Philadel phia, to show the effect of sound on the colors and figures in soap-bubbles. A film of soap being placed across the end of a phoneidoscope, was reflected on a canvas screen, where it assumed a bluish-gray appearance. An intona tion of the voice through a tube con nected with the film first brought a number of black spots on the reflection. These passing away were succeeded by a beautiful light green, mingled with pink. The same tone would always cause the same figure to appear, but had no control over the color, which might be blue at one time and yellow at another. The Greatest Obelisk. The Washington monument is the wonder of Washington, and its beauty the admiration of both Americans and foreigners. Already over 350 feet high, it rises from the banks of the Potomac a great, white, marble shaft, piercing the clouds, and backed against the blue of the sky. It is already the grandest obelisk the world has ever seen, and in the aeons of the future, should the nations of the day pass away, leaving no more records of their progress than the mighty ones of the Egyptian past, it would surpass the pyramids in the wonder of its construc tion. It is already higher than the third pyramid, and within a hundred feet of the size of the second. It is taller than St. Peter's cathedral, and when linished it will be the highest structure in the world. To-day the cathedral of Cologne, 512 feet high, is the tallest in the world. Next comes the great pyramid, 483 feet high ; then the Strasburg cathedral, 473 feet; then the second pyramid, 453 ; then St Pe ter's, 430; St. Stephen's at Vienna, 443, ind St. Paul's at London, 384.—Clece and Leader. NEWSPAPER LAWS. If subscribers order the disoootmaation of newspapers, the imbJiehers may ooattaiM to send them until all arrearage# are paid. If sul>scribere refuse or neglect to take their ! newspapers Iroin the office to which they are sent, they are held responsible until they • bare settled the bills and ordered them dls- I continued. If subscribers more to other rlnoes with out Informing the publisher, ana the news- Sapers are sent to the former place of reel eoce, they are then responsible. I "ADVERTISING RATKSJ 1 wk. I mo. j too**. [ <!<*• J I Jjs* i ai oo aoo ioo M&j*** ; k column tOO 400 I 600 I 1® llf 21 u column 600 S 001 1J jJOI MJP I 001nmn......... 100 1R 001 001 ft** | WOO Ons Inch ntkMi *Q*". Admlnlotrolort *no Ex ' ftcaton' Notices 58. 60. Truaslsnt •rtrsrtlssmsnU sad locals 10 cants p--r tm for ftrtt tnsarUuß sad • cents per I lias for eaob eadtttonal Insertion. NO. 48. The Sods of tK"e Hen. A minstrel era I of a single lay But I sing it the whole day long, In the crowded ooop or the breezy way I warble my simple song. Only nti eg", with its clear white shell, The sea hath no pearl more fair, — And over that spheroid I cackle aud yell, And hallo and wrestle and rear. Oh, ft Irail, weak thing is my ovate gem, As it lies In my straw-lined nest; But it rnkcth the orator, stern and stem, When it catchcth him on the oreet. There is might in ita weakness, tod when ft goes Down the afternoon ot liie, It can lead a strong man by the noee When it mfxeth itself in the strife. I am no slugger; the hawk that swoops Must hunt for me in the thatch, And yet in the field or the noisy coops, I always come np to the soratch. So I sing the only lay that I know, In numbers becomingly meek; Because, though "my son never sets," I know 'lhat my liie will be ended necks weak. Burlington Hawkeyt. HUMOROUS. The woman's cause—Because. A tough time —Roughs on a spreei A great many Wall street men now adays are men of note. A new play is called "The Burglar." It ought to take well. The riches which always take to themselves wings —Ost-riches. Iron is decidedly the most ironical of metals, for it is so often a railing. It isn't a great way to the end of a cat's nose, but it's fur to the end of its tail. It is only the man with a pocket ful of rocks that can afford to throw stones. What room would one expect to find in a castle in the air ? A"brown study," to be sure. Some of the men who carry the most expensive watches never know what time to go home. The new counterfeit dollars have a sharper ring than the genuine coin. Probably a sharper ring made them. "I am the power behind the throne," soliloquized the mule, as he pitched his rider heels over head to the ground. Western packers say that, "taken ae a whole, the American hog is the best in the w r orld." An exchange asks, who wants to swallow a hog whole? A young man named Darling lives in Fargo, and when any one calls to him on the street, every young lady within three blocks blushes and looks around, gently saying, "Sb, sh." "Why are you like a watch-case?" asked a chap of a man who was rush ing for a train. "Give it up," he gasped, as he fled down the street. "Because you're pressed for time!" yelled the fiend. A physician said jocosely to a police man one evening: "I always feel safe when I see a policeman in the evenings for there is no danger about." "Yes, safer than I feel when I have a doc tor about," was the bright retort. = Old Russian Sayings. Roguery is the last of trades. Every fox praises his own tail. A debt is adorned by payment A good beginning is half the work. An old friend is better than two new ones. "When fish are rare, even a crab is a fish. Every little frog is great in his own bog, Trust in God, but do not stumble yourself. Money is not God, but it shows great mercy. Go after two wolves, and you witt not even catch one. The deeper you hide anything the sooner you find it Ask a pig to dinner and he will put his feet on the table. Be praised not for your ancestors, but for your virtues. Never take a crooked path while you can see a straight one. Disease comes in by hundred weights and goes out by ounces. Fear not the threats of the great, but rather the tears of the poor. A father's blessing cannot be drowned in water nor consumed by fira Armless, but not Harmless. J. 11. Hollis, of Duffau, Tex., lost both arms several years ago in a mo lasses mill. There is a stub protruding from each shoulder about eight inches in length. By placing a pen between his right stub and chin he can write better than the average business man. He can handle a pistol in a lively way, and requires no assistance in putting on or off his clothes. To suit his con venience he wears high top boots, so that he can lean over and catch the straps between his teeth. He thus pulls his boots on without any visible xertion. He says he can do anything .hat an ordinary man can.