Millheim Journal. (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, November 29, 1883, Image 1
nßLmm EVERY tthtrsdat ; at MUSSER'S I3UILDINGK Cwnfr m Mafn mud Peoa Bt*„ at |I.OO PER ANNUM, m ADYANCEt , Or fI.K tf sot piM In (ttMCt. 1 JcctpbNt Correspoßdence SofiiM, ——— I yAtl tM lulUiu to "MSIfIBU JOURNAL." Defeat. By bitter pilgrimage he sought to win Thoee far dim towers that he would roam within. Through paths of peril, loud with dying groans, Down chasms of failure, white with human bones. Past brakes of treachery, whence the tiger sprang, O'er swamps of envy, where the scorpion stung. His eager feet pressed onward to attain The luring bourn of that desired domain. And there at last, worn fugitive of fate, He clutched the mighty clarion at the gate, A moment more, and while its proud peaj rose. The towers would rock, the portals would un" close. But then, even then, by tome foredoom pro found, He dropped dead ere his lips had waked one sound! Edgar Fauxtit, in Harper's Magazine. <• < ¥ ■■ . ' "GIRL OVERBOARD!" A Sailor's Turn of How He Attended to 111* BuMnes*. I had just returned from one of the periodical wild-goose chases after wealth that occurred here so often in the early times. It is needless to say that 1 had not made my fortune. Like most of the miners, 1 had come back "'broke." I was looking around for something to do, when I found an opportunity to go as second mate of the bark What Cheer, bound for Honolulu. 1 accepted the chance gladly; 1 was longing for a voyage in blue water, and, bidding farewell to San Francisco, we were soon bowling along upon our voyage. We had a few passengers, most of them traveling to the islands in search of health; one of them, a Captain Hudson, of Marys ville, was going after his wife and daughter, who had made the trip six or eight months before for the benefit of Mrs. Hudson's health. The voyage and change had so improved her that she now felt well, but so homesick that she was anxious to get back to Marys ville. Captain Hudson was an old salt who had been a long time ashore, so he was glad of this opportunity to make a trip with his old friend, the captain of the bark, and intended to return with us. He was a jovial old fellow, and the best "yarn-spinner" I ever heard. The voyage was a pleasant one, and it did not seem long before we sighted the island of Oahu, and entered the harbor of Honolulu. The Hawaiian capital was then a very lively port; whaleships were re pairing and fitting for the Arctic fish ing grounds; others were loading with oil for the long voyage " 'round the Horn," home, and two men-o'-war— English and American - were lying in the outer harbor. While we were in port the American officers gave a ball on board ship, to which I received an invitation. The main or spar-deck was cleared, the guns run out, and an awn ing housed the entire deck, which was handsomely trimmed with flags of all nations, and lighted by battle-lights and Chinese lanterns; the deck was scrubbed as white as wood can be made, and waxed to perfection; the band played on the forecastle, and altogether it was as complete and handsome a ball-room as one would wish to see. There were a few American and English ladies present, but most of the fair ones were native girls, who would rather dance than eat at any time. The dusky king, with his aids and members of the cabinet, all in uniform, the American and English officers in gold lace and brass buttons, made a most brilliant picture. Captain Hud son was one of the guests, and intro duced me to his daughter. I asked her to dance, but she declined. Evidently the mate of a merchantman stood no show among so many brass buttons. I contented myself with the native belles. We did not leave the ship until daylight, and to this day I have pleas, ant memories of that most delightful evening. Our stay in port was very brief, and the flag was soon hoisted announcing to all wanting passage that the time had arrived to come on board. Before long we parted with our pilot, and as we left the violet island slowly sinking in the west, I said to myself that when I had made my fortune that land should be my home. Youthful visions! They are gone. I have grown older— I hope wiser—and the island is not my home. On the homeward trip we had twelve passengers—Captain Hudson, wife and daughter, and the wives of two missionaries going home to the Eastern states on a visit and to regain color. I found that all foreigners bleached out to a dead white, and had no color at all after living a few years at the islands. Miss Hudson was the only young woman on board, and I naturally thought she would affect my company, as I have been told many times I was good looking, and always thought the ill ill lie un Journal. DEININTJER & BUMUjLER, Editors and Proprietorr VOL. LVII. those who told me so extremely sensl ble people. 1 was rather a dandy offi cer then, and quite as conceited as young men generally are. Consequent ly I expected to make an impression on Miss Hudson's heart, and looked for ward to having her charming company in my watches on deck. Alas! 1 was sadly disappointed; she hardly deigned to treat me civilly. Tho cabin of our bark was flush with the main deck, running to within a few feet of the main-mast, having state rooms on each side, tho centre being the saloon or dining room, with a long skylight for light and air. The top of the cabin was the quarter or poop-deck, and around this house on deck we had no bulwarks or rail; instead, there were some iron stanchions a few feet apart, with a chain running around two sides and across the after part, as a life-guard. This cabin had been built after tho bark came to this coast, in order to give more cargo room and better passenger accommodations. Several times when Miss Hudson was on deck she had sat down on the chain and swung herself to and fro, holding on by her hands. I thought it so dan gerous that one day I spoke to her about it. "Pardon me. Miss Hudson," said I, "but if you are not careful you will fall overboard some day. That is too risky an amusement, for the vessel may give a lurch at any time and throw you off your balance." All the thanks 1 got for my warning was this cutting speech; "You will oblige me, sir. if you will attend to your business, and I will at tend to mine." The young woman resumed her swinging and I resumed my pacing on deck. As I turned away, 1 vowed in wardly never to trouble her any more with my good advice, but to put a stopper on my jaw-tackle. A few days after this, I had taken my watch at twelve o'clock, when all were taking dinner except the watch on deck. We were sailing along on a free wind with all the weather stud sails set, making six knots. I was passing fore and aft the deck, listening to the yarns being spun a* the dinner table; the skylight had been off for days, and I could hear everything said at the table. Miss Hudson, having fin ished her dinner, came up on deck and went aft. Liking her usual place on the chain near the man at the wheel. Every time I went aft I looked into the binnacle to see if the wheelsman kept the ship up on her course. Once, as I turned at the break of the deck to go aft, I looked toward where Miss Hudson was sitting. There had been a change. A pair of symmetrical fem inine boots were pointing toward the zenith. A somewhat disheveled femi nine head was pointing toward nadir. Miss Hudson had executed a neat somersault backwards over the chain. Running past the skylight, I shouted to our captain: "Miss Hudson has fallen overboard!" then, throwing off my coat, hat and slippers, I cut the life-preserver loose abaft the rudder head. I told the man at the wheel to put the helm hard down and let the bark come up to the wind so they could throw her aback and stop her steerage way. In much less time then it takes to write all these particulars, I had jumped overboard, and was swim ming toward the struggling girl. In her fall she had turned a complete somersault, striking the water with her feet; her skirts and dress had formed a bag such as little girls make when they whirl themselves round and round and then suddenly crouch down in the infantile amusement called "making cheeses." In the same way the air under the girl's skirts had so buoyed her up and protected her that her head and shoulders were not at all wet. As I swam up close to her, she tried to throw her arms around my neck, but I backed off and told her 1 was not used to being so familiar with ladies I was not acquainted with. She tried it again, and then I could not resist the temptation to retort for the speech of a few days before. "Listen to me," said I. "The air is escaping from under your skirts, and you are gradually going down. If you continue to struggle and attempt to grasp me, I will leave you and let you sink. All you have to do is to keep still. All 1 have to do is to swim up behind you, and put this life-preserver under your arms. Attend to your business, and I will attend to mine." Whether it was that she really re gained her presence of mind, or that her self-possession came from anger at my unfair retort, I never knevi. j had said it for that reason, however. She ceased struggling, and I soon hail the life-preserver over her head. I kept one hand on it, and swam with the other arm, thus keeping us both up. As we rose to the crest of the waves we could see the boat lowered and started toward us, and in a few moments we were lifted into it, and, returning to the bark, ran in under MILLIIEIM, FA., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 29,1888. the falls, and were hoisted safely on board, only a little wet. Well, by the hearty hug Mrs. Hud son gave me, I didn't consider her much of an invalid. We all became very good friends before the end of the voyage, which was a remarkably pleasant one, as fro.n tho time we sheeted home our topsails and mast headed them at Honolulu, we never disturbed thorn until we furled them in the harbor at San Francisco. Miss Hudson and myself did uot marrv each other—this story doesn't end in that way. When we arrived in San Francisco, the lirst person who came on board from the Merchants Exchange news boat, o!T Meigs' wharf, was Miss Hudson's "inter led,' a young merchant at Marysville, and a few days after 1 acted as best man at a wedding that took plaee in the old Bethel Ship church on Davis street, be tween Clay anil Washington. There Father Taylor spliced William Harding and Mary 11 u Ison. 1 was presented with a handsome specimen, a shield of virgin gold, given me by Mr. Harding as a memento, which I l<>d when shije wrecked on the brig X• rt li Rend a few years after. There is an old story of a young man who, when he was lirst married, thought his wife so sweet he could have eaten her, and six months afterward wished he had. Remember ing this, 1 have sometimes wondered whether Harding would have given me a larger specimen had I not desert ed my post to carry a life-preserver tc his sweetheart, and in lieu thereof ab tended to my business. How "Uncle Tom's Cabin" Came to be Published. John J. Jewett, the original publish er of "Uncle Tom's Cabin," said : "Professor Stowe was in favor of selling the manuscript for a sum. I'll tell my wife,' said he to me, 'that if she can get a good black silk dress or fifty dollars in money for the story she had better take it.' " "Do you believe that you could have bought the story for SSO ? " "1 believe that I could have bought it for $25. "So large were the orders for the book that from the day I first began to print it the eight presses never stopped for six months, day or night, and even then there were complaints that the volume did not appear fast enough. In a little while I was able to inform the Professor and Mrs. Stowe their per centage already amounted t<> SIO,OOO, and although my contract with them required me to give a note only, 1 would pay them that sum in cash." "llow did they receive the informa tion?" "They seemed a little dazed by the news. The sum was so vastly beyond anything they expected or had hither to possessed, that it appeared to them like a great fortune. When they called at my office 1 handed Professor Stowe my check for SIO,OOO, payable to bis order. Neither the Professor nor Mrs. Stowe had ever before received a check they told me, and they did not know what to do with it or how to get the money represented. I explained to the professor that he must indorse the check and present it for payment. 1 advised him to deposit the money in the same bank. We went thither to gether. 1 introduced him to the pres ident and the professor opened an ac count. After instructing him how tc keep his check book, and so on, and cautioning him and his wife never to go about with more than five dollars in their pockets, I bade them good day, and they wont on their way rejoicing. When 1 gave them a second check for SIO,OOO, I found they needed no fur ther instructions." "How many copies of 'Uncle Tom did you publish?" "More than 350,000 sets of two vol umes each were published the first year. After thai the demand fell off." Jay Gould's Library. Jay Gould's library is one of tht most remarkable things about that re markable man. Not only does it con tain all the standard classical works ol history, science, finance, fiction and po etry, says the writer, but in certain glass cases, well guarded with strong wire net work outside, tomes of im mense value and great age, and many an inditio princeps which would delight the heart of a bibliophile. This room is the one holy of holies of the mil lionaire, the mysterious chamber which Bluebeard forbade even the wife ol his bosom to enter. No person except Mr. Gould is allowed to touch his pre cious books, even his factotum, Moros ini, avoiding that dangerous ground With all his business cares, Mr. Gould is a close student, and singularly wet versed in general literature. A well known New York lawyer once said ol him that he was the best authority or the law of corporations In the United States. A PAPER FOR THE HOME CIRCLE. CHILDREN'S COLUMN. Fho cunningest tiling that a babj oan do I* to play for the very flmt time, I'eek-a-bool It will hide ita little pink face in ita handa, Ihen orow, and ahow that it undoratanda What Nurse and Mamma, and Papa too. Mean when they hide and ory, "Peek a-b ol" Oh, what a wonderful thing it ia, When they find that baby oan play like thia! And they every one listen, and think R true lhat the baby'a gurgle mcana Peek a-boo! # 1 wonder il any one ever knew A baby who never played Peek-a-booT 'Ti9 old as the world ia. I believe Cain siw taught It by Mother Eve. For Cain was an innocent babe once, too, And 1 am sure he played Peek-a-boo. And the whole world lull ot the children ol men Have all of them playod that game aince then. And while the aun ahines and the akiea are blue, Rabies will always play Peek-a-boo. —Ella Wheeler, in Young People. A Pleaatnff Incident. "Sitting in a station the other day, I had a little sermon preached in the way 1 like; and I'll report it for your benefit, because it taught one of the lessons which we all should learn, and taught it in siu-h a natural, simple way that no one could forget it. "It was a bleak, snowy day; the train was late; the ladies' room dark and smoky, and the dozen women, old and young, who sat waiting impatient ly, all looked cross, low-spirited or stupid. I felt all three; and thought, as I looked around, that my fellow beings were a very unamiable, uninter esting set. "Just then a forlorn old woman, shaking with palsy, came in with n basket of wares and went about mute ly offering them to the sitters. No body bought anything, anil the poor old soul stood blinking at the door a minute, as if reluctant to go out into the bitter storm again. She turned presently, and poked about the room, as if trying to find something; and then a pale lady in black, who lay as if asleep on a sofa, opened her eyes, and saw the old woman, and instantly asked, in a kind tone, 'Have you lost anything, ma'am?" " 'No, dear, I'm looking for the heat in' place to have a warm 'fore 1 goes out again. My eyes is poor, and 1 don't seem to find the furnace no wheres.' •"Here it is,' and the lady led her to the steam radiator, placed a chair and showed her how to warm her feet. " 'Well, now, ain't that nice!' said the old woman, spreading her ragged mittens to dry. 'Thanky, dear, this is proper comfortable, ain't it? I'm al most frozen to-day, being lame and wimbly; and net selling much makes me down-hearted.' " 'The lady smiled, went to the counter, bought a cup of tea and some sort of fooil, carried it herself to the old woman, and said, as respectfully and kindly as if the poor woman had been dressed in silk and fur: "Won't you have a cup of tea? It's very comforting a day like this.' •"Sakes alive! do they give tea at this depot?' cried the old lady, in a tone of innocent surprise that made a smile go round the room, touching the glummest face like a streak of sunshine. 'Well, now, this is jest lovely,' added the old lady, sipping away with a relish. 'This does warm the cockles of my heart!' "While she refreshed herself, telling her story meanwhile, the lady looked over the poor little wares in tho bas ket, bought soap and pins, shoe strings and tape, and cheered the old soul by paving well for them. "As I watched her doing this, 1 thought what a sweet face she had, though 1 had considered her rather plain before. I felt dreadfully ashamed of myself that I had grimly shaken my head when the basket was offered to me, .and as I saw the look of inter est, sympathy and kindness com' 1 into the dismal fa es all around me, I did wish that I was the magician to call i f , out. It was only a kind word and a friendly act, but somehow it bright ened that dingy room wonderfully. It changed the faces of a dozen women, and I think it touched a dozen hearts, for I saw many eyes follow the plain, pale lady, with sudden respect; and when the old woman got up to go, several persons beckoned to liof and bought something, as if they wanted to repair their first negligence.— Louisa M. Alcott. W. W. Willoughby, of Allen County, Ga., cut a board tree which gave six teen three-foot cuts and made 3409 boards, leaving considerable rail-tim ber to the trees. In the tree Was a wood-worm that entered at the bottom, making its way on up. In each cut they found where the worm had win tered, and in the sixteenth cut they found the worm still alive, with sixteen wrinkles or. him, showing that he was sixteen years old. 1 Fisnwrrii A WEAPON. Power of (he Rword-PlaH In He Aturki 011 Vdifli Illustrated In Nome lie marknble Pases. In 1871 the little yacht Red not, of New Bedford, Mass., engaged insword flsliing, was struck by one of these fishes so effectually as to sink her. She was ultimately hauled up and af terward used by Prof. I laird in the ser vice of the Fish Commission. A Glou cester schooner, the Wyoming, on her way to George's Banks, in 1875, was struck at night by a sword-fish, the sword penetrating the hull to a dis tance of two feet. The shock was dis tinctly felt by the captain. The fish finally broke away, leaving Its weapon, that If It had pulled out would have undoubtedly sunk the vessel. As it was, she leaked badly. J. F. Harwood, master of the Brit ish brigantine Fortunate, reported an instance similar to this. While on his passage from the Rio Grande, this ship was struck by a large fish, which made the vessel shake very much. Think ing the ship had been merely struck by the tail of some sea monster, he took no further notice of the matter; but, after discharging the cargo at Run corn and coming into tho Canada half tide-dock, he found one of the plank enils in the stern split, and, on closer examination, he discovered that a sword-fish had <1 riven his sword com pletely through the plank, four inches in thickness, leaving the point of the sword nearly eight inches through the plank. The fish in its struggle broke the sword off level with the outside of the vessel, and by its attack upon the ship lost nearly a foot length of the very dangerous weapon with which it is armed. There is no doubt that this somewhat singular occurrence took place when the vessel was struck, as Captain Harwood described. A sword-fish weighing over four hun dred pounds struck t>lo iMiitig boat of Captain D. D. Thurlow. while he was hauling a mackerel seine, off Fire Is land, and came near sinking her. The captain made several half-hitches around the weapon and the fish was secured, and sent to Fulton Market. The sword was nearly four feet long. A few years ago the brig P. M. Tinker was hauled up at the Norfolk ship yard for repairs, and upon examina tion it was found that the leak was caused by a sword-fish, the sword being found broken off, forward the bands, about sixteen feet abaft the fore-foot. The fish, in striking the vessel, must have come with great force, as tho sword penetrated the copper sheathing, a four-inch birch plank, and through the timbers about six inches—in all about ten inches. It occurred in the morning when the ship was eighteen days out from Rio, and in the neigh borhood of Cape St. Roque. She was pumped about four o'clock In the morning, and found free of water. At six o'clock the same morning she was again pumped, when water was ol>- tained, and, on examination, it was found that she had made ten inches of water. The men were kept steady at the pumps until her arrival at Rich mond, and while there and on her trip to Norfolk. Captain Dyer, of New Bedford, had a curious experience some years ago. He struck a sword-fish from a thirty foot boat forty miles south-west of Xo man'9 Land, threw overboard the keg, tacked and stood by to the windward of it. When nearly abreast of it the man at the mast-head called out; "Why; here he is, right alongside." The fish was then about ten feet from the boat anil swimming in the same direction, but when he got where he could see the splash of water around the how he turned and struck the boat about two feet from the stern and just below the water-line. The sword went through the planking, which was of cedar an inch and three-quarters thick, into a lot of loose iron ballast, break ing off short at the fish's head. A number of boats, large and small, have been "stove" by sword-fish on our coast, but always after the fish had been struck. The power of these fishes is incon ceivable. In the planking of the ship Leopard a sword was found that had pierced the sheathing one inch, .then through a three-inch plank, and be yond that three anil a half inches into the hard oak timber. The men at work estimated that it would take to drive an iron spike a similar distance nine heavy blows from a twenty-five pound ham mer. In an examination of the ship For tune, a sword was found that had been driven through the copper sheath ing, a board under-sheathing, a three inch plank of hard wood, then through a solid white-oak timber twelve inches thick, then through another two and a half-inch hard oak ceiling, and finally through the head of an oil barrel, where it stopped, not allowing a drop of oil to escape. A solid shot could aardly have done much greater dam age. A good example of Umber dam- Terms, SIOO Per Year In Advance. aged In this way can be seen In the museum of the Philadelphia Academy of Sciences. THE SQUATTER'S RUSE. lie Snvee m Friend By Hie Very Bvmelv* Answer*. Several weeks ago a party of revenue men stopped at the rude house of an Arkansas "squatter." He saw at a glance who they were, and when they called to him, he limped out to the fenca "How do you do, sir?" said the com mander of the squad. "Putty well, thank yer. Won't yer light an' hitch?" "No, we are in something of a hurry. What is good land worth?" "I dunno." "That's singular." "It mout be ter some folks, but it ain't ter me. Say thar, Jim" turning to his son, "drive the sow outen the house, for she mout turn over the sugar truflf an' spill the young 'un." "Do you know a man in this neigh borhood named Bob Blakemore?" "Is he got a sort o' moon eye on one side an' a sort o' rainy day eye on tuther?" "That's the man, I believe." "Sorter walks like he didn't kere whar he was gwine, do he?" "Yes, from what I know of him he does. "Sorter whines when he talks, like he was a longin' fur suthin' he ain't got?" "lie's the man, 1 have no doubt." • Wars a par o' shoes what was made by Josh Simmons, with one heel thiser way an' tuther thater way," making signs with his hands. "That's the individual. Where can I find him?" "Well, ef yer know him as well as I do yer oughter know whar to find him." "When did you see him last?" "Don't riceolleck the last time as well as Ido the fust The fust time 1 ever seed him we fit. We fit till his wife she come, an' then till my wife she come, then we all fit. Airter awhile we got mixed up, an' my wife she fit me an' his wife she fit him, an'—" "Well, we don't care anything about that. I'd like to know where we can find him, as we can doubtless strike a trade." "Yas, but lemme tell yer. Say, Jim, did yer drive out the sow?" "Yas, pap." "Did lie spill the young 'un." "No. pap." "Look here, my friend." "Don't know as I'm yer friend, but I'm er lookin' thar." "We want to find Bob Blakemore." "111 tell you how ter find him ef that's wliut yer want. See that hog path ?" "Y'es." "Wall, take that path till ver come ter the deer-lick. Bob's a mighty hunter an' yer air mighty likely ter find him thar." "Suppose he isn't there?" "Then I ken tell yer 'zactly where he is." "Where?" "Summers else. Say, Jim, is the sort all right?" "Yes, pap." "Look here—" "Lookin' thar agin." "We want to go into the house." "Sartinly, come in," and the party dismounted and entered. After look ing around, and seeing nothing but a bed, a kettle, a sugar-trough cradle and a baby, they went away. After they had been gone awhile, a blanket in one corner of tho room moved and Bob Blakemore's head appeared. All the time the old "squatter" had been en gaging the revenue men in conver sation, Blakemore, who knew that flight would be useless, was digging a hole in the dirt lloor, and when he had crouched down and covered him self with the blanket, the boy, Jim, dis covered that the sow was "all right." —Arkansas Tnaoclcr. A Trial or Horses at Heavy Palling, In trials made not long ago at the Illinois industrial university it was proven that a pair of more than or dinarily powerful farm horses, one weighing about 1,250 pounds and the other over 1,400 pounds, at a "dead pull" drew 1,000 and 1,025 each. This was done when the band was tight ened so that the .straightening of the traces gave the horses the benefit of their own weight. With loose band allowing the traces to rise naturally, each horse drew 300 pounds less. These horses were both well shod. Another horse of about the same ap parent strength as these, but unshod, could only draw 675 pounds with tight band. In each case the horse was hitched to the end of a rope about 15C feet long, having the benefit of the stretching of the rope as a relief from a "dead pull." The maximum strength seemed to be exerted at each trial, all the horses being accustomed to heavy pulling. NEWSPAPER LAWS, If snbucribdto order the dwooottireMioii of newspapers, the ruiblisberu may coalUm© to send thm nntil all arrearages are paid. If Rubecrilxvre refnae or neglect to take their newspapers from the office to which they are pent, they are held responsible nntil they have settled the bills and ordered tbem dis continued. ... If subscribers move to other places with out informing the publisher, ana the nnwe- Sapers are sent to the former place of rev enue, they are then responsible. APVIffHSiaQ nvrßa: "® l jisy&ira lijs fcsJS":::::::: IS tS\ Ji) / Xg Poolomn ........ SOO 1* 00 I One lnoh mikMia aqur*. Adminmtrstor* and B acators' Notion #*.6o. TrannUnt MlnvttMmanW and' loon In 10 onU par lina for ft rat fnsortioa and i onto par 'ins for aaoli additional iuaertion. NO. 47. Untold. A faoe may be wuful white To cover a heart that's aching; And a face may be full of light Over a heart that's breaking. Tig not the heaviest grief For which we woar the willow; The tears bring slow relief Whi< h only wet the pillow. Hard may be burdens born. Tho' friends would lain unbind them; Harder are crosses worn Wheie none save God can find them. For the loved who leave our side Our souls are well nigh riven; But ah ! for the graves we find, Have pity, tender heaven! Soft be tt e words and sweet That soothe the spoken sorrow; Alas! for the weary feet That may not rest to-morrow. HUMOROUS. Advice to an egotistical blower: Shut down your wind, oh! Many a woman who does not know even the multiplication table can "figure" in society. Many a young man who works hard during the day allows his hands to go to waist during the evening. "I fill the Bill," said Willie, when he got into his mother's preserve closet "And I foot the Bill," remarked paps, overhearing the soliloquy. The tramp who scours the countiy In search of some iood or pelf, Would hardly e'er go hungry, If he'd only scour himself. "I wouldn't mind it so much," said the gilded youth, "if he'd bring a dif ferent bill occasionally. But I'm lored to death with seeing the same old bill!" Anthony Trollope said that an Ill fitting shirt-collar would keep him from thinking. This shows Mr. Trol lope's eccentricity. An ill-fitting shirt-collar will make the average man think with great rapidity. Nothing disgusts a young lover in lavender pants so much as to find that the piano stool he lias been occupying for tho last hour has been used as a "twister" at the children's eandy pulling party the night before. "Do birds think?" asks a writer in opening a current article. If they do, we would like to know what a canary bird thinks of the fat woman who stands up in a chair and "talks baby" through the brass wires of its cage. While the arrangements were being made for a party a few evenings ago a young lady present innocently in quired: "Is the invitation to embrace the young ladies?" "Ob, no!" replied a young man. "the gentlemen will attend to that." And now the young lady wonders what the young man meant She was in the dimly-lighted recep tion room of a city dry goods store; and, walking up to a tall mirror placed against the wall, remarked: "Why/ how came you here ?" Then, observing some surprise, not to say amusement, on the faces of the other occupants of the room, she saw her mistake and exclaimed in great confusion; "I thought it was my sister; we're twins." Origin of Papa and Mamma. An early instance which occurs to me is in the "Beggar's Opera," (1727,) where Polly Peachum, I think It is, speaks of "papa." The modern change from "papa" and "mamma" to "father" and "mother" among the upper classes, which began about thirty years ago, seems to have been a reaction against a custom which had gradually crept in among persons of a lower grade. As soon as common people's children began to say "papa" and "mamma," those of higher grade were taught to say"father"and"mother." It was among my High church friends that I first noticed this adoption of "father" and "mother." One does not see the con nection, but truly such is the fact. When I was young, "papa" and "mam ma" was universal among what may be called the middle and upper classes of society, and to this day, "ladies of a certain age" still use these words. King George 111, about the year 1762, addressed his mother as "mamma ;" so I find it stated in "Greville Me moirs." But I do not think that Charles 11, unless he was speaking in French, ever addressed Henrietta Ma ria by that endearing term, and I felt tolerably sure that Lady Elizabeth never called Henry VIII "papa." On the other hand, I would observe that "papa" and "mamma" are fast being supplanted by the old original "father" and "mother." For ten or perhaps twenty years past children in the up per and middle clashes have, so far as my observation goes, been taught to say "father" and "mother";" and "papa" and "mamma," which are words of extreme tenderness to those of my generation, seem now to have sunk into contempt as a "note" of so cial superiority.