PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY IN MURSEK'S BUILDING-, Cm*r of Dfafn and Penn Su., at SI.OO PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE; Or 91.85 if lot paid tn advano*. ArcaptiKe Cbt:3bcs?3C4 Solicited. fSTAddr— all letter* to "InLLHEIM JOURNAL." CouM IVe But Know. Could wo but know The lnnd that ends our da k, uncertain travel, Whoio be ihoso r hills and meadows low— Ah! if bejoi d ihe spirit's mm st cavil Anghl of that countij could wosuiv ly know— Who would uot go? Might we hut hoar The hovering angels* high imagined ohorns, Or catch, betimes, with wakeful eyes and clear, One radiant vtsta of the realm before us. With one rapt moment given to see and hear, Ah! who would tear? Were we quite sure To find the peerless friend who left us lonely Or there, hy some celestial stream as pure. To gaze in eyes that here were love-lit only— This wearv mortal coil, were we quite sure, Who would endure? Edmund C. Sled man. . AT UNCLE PAUL'S. "There," said Juliet Garland, impa tiently, "1 can't wear these kid gloves again by any possibility. They've been once to the cleaner's, and I've done them myself twice with bread crumbs!" She sat in the deep window-seat, her bright hair streaked with morning sun shine, her blue eyes sparkling with vexation, while a pair of very much demoralized kid gloves, of the palest primrose tint, lay in her lap. And Dora, her younger sister, look ed li. tlessly up from the pile of music she was turning over—another of the bright blonde blossoms of humanity. "Why don't you get yourself a new pair?" said she. "Oh. dear! There isn't a song here that is not a hundred years old. •Juanita,' 'ller bright smile, 'Beautiful daises,'• and all that sort of thing. Rosie must get some thing that isn't coeval with the ark. llow is a girl to—" "Why don't I get m/self another pair?" sharply cro>s-questioned Juliet "Jlrcause 1 haven't any money-that is the reason!" "It's so dreadful to be poor!" sighed plump, pretty Dora, contemplating her pink linger-tips; and at the same moment Mrs. Templeton, the married blonde of the family, came in with a worn look upon her face. "More bills," said she. "Oh, girls what will Frank say? Stefani has act ually had the hardihood to charge seventy-five dollars for that little lunch we gave to Mrs. At wood and htr son. And Madame C'herimont's account is eighty-nine, and I'm posi tively afraid to open the llorist's bill." "Then it's no use asking for more kid gloves at present," said .Juliet, dis consolately. "Nor music," added Dora, with a shrug of her shoulders. Mrs. Templeton burst into tears. "1 declare," said she, "I'm discour aged. And you girls are always teas ing for something or other, and Frank is so cross whenever we exceed th e regular allowance!" "Crying will do no good," said Dora who was evidently the philosopher of the family. "But what is that letter in your lap, Rosie?" "Oh, that!" said Mrs. Templeton, "is from Uncle Paul I declare, Stefani's bill upset me so that I forgot all about it. lie wants one of you girls to come up to the Maine Camp and keep house for him. It's somewhere on the line of the Rangeley Lakes, I believe- Owls and whip-poor-wills thrown in Come, girls, which of you will volun teer?" Juliet gave a little shriek of dismay Dora elevated her pink, cushiony hands. But a third sister who had been silently mending the flounces of a pink silk skirt, in an obscure corner looked up. "Is Uncle Paul really in earnest?" said she. "Then I'll go." "Gladys!" cried all three of the others, in different accents of amaze, ment, reproach and incredulity. Gladys Garland rose up, flung aside the soft billows of pink silk that cum bered her lap, and came out into the light. Of all the sisters, she was per haps the loveliest and the most deter mined. "Why not?" said she. "Do you think I am particularly in love with this sort of life? I declare, there have been times within the last month when I've felt inclined to go for a servant maid, or look up a situation as factory hand. Just consider, girls—the dress I wear isn't paid for; the milliner is always sending her girl around with bills. I can't go on this street nor on that, for fear of meeting some one who will ask me for the money that I honestly owe them. Rosie, like a darling that she is, keeps giving parties and lunches and morning musicales, to try and get us wel l married. Frank, poor fellow, is work ing beyond his strength, to give his wife's sisters a fair chance; but it isn't a bit of use. See how we all hang fire. Now I don't know about Julie uad Dora, but J, for one, am tired of lie ftillbetm Journal DEININGER & BUMILLER, Editors and Proprietors. VOL. LVII. ' being put up in the world's window Tor sale!' Yes, I'll go to Uncle Paul.' "But," gasped Mrs. Temple torn "what will society say?" "What it pleases," Gladys answered. •'Society don't settle my hoot-bill, nor provide me with pocket-money." "Gladys," said Juliet, remonstrating ly, "I tliink you are crazy!" "Because 1 am emancipating my self from slavery? But youkknotw t Julie, 1 cannot see where all tliis is to end." "What* will Mr. Mandevillo say?'' demurely questioned Bora, with a sly. sidelong glance at her sister. "lie will say," Gladys stoutly answered, "that there is one fortune hunter the less in the ranks." "Gladys, how can you speak so coarsely?" said Juliet, not without in dignation. "Is it coarse?" said (iladvs. "It is the simple truth. Mr. Mandeville is very handsome and agreeable, hut 1 don't think he will miss me after the first evening or two. Oh. there are too many Peiis in this Paradise! And poor, good, patient Frank, lie wilj have one less to provide for. "Yes, I'll go with Uncle Paul." "You may as well commit suicide at once," said Juliet. "You'll never marry in that wilder ness," said Mrs. Templeton. "There are nineteen old maids in this block," said Gladys. "We count ed them yesterday, Bora and I. Bo you suppose there are nineteen old maids on Lake Molechunkamunk?" "Nonsense!" said Mrs. Templeton. "And besides," added Gladys, the laughter fading from her eyes, "is it really the end and aim of all female humanity to get married? Why shouldn't I be an old maid as ' well as another? Bo you think 1 shouldn't survive it? Wait and see!" Gladys Garland had definitely mads up her mind on the subject Within three days she had purchased a pair of thick boots, a blue flannel suit, and a poke bonnet of rough straw, trimmed with blue ribbons, and gone out to Lake Molechunkamunk. Uncle Paul was glad to see her. He didn't live in a wigwam, as she had almost taught herself to believe, but owned a pretty little lodge in this vast wilderness, shaded with forest trees, and embowered with blue-cupped morning-glories. lie was civilized, and did not assas sinate English grammar like the cham pion hunter in the dime novels. And he had provided a pretty little boudoir for her, whose pink mosquito-netting set the black flies and gnats at defi ance, and an exquisite engraving of the Madonna di Sau JSisto hung over the broad mantle. "Oh, I think I shall be quite, quite happy here," said Gladys, as she sat in a little boat where the drooping boughs of the hazel bushes made blots of shadow on the glittering lake, and read while Uncle Paul fished. "Don't regret any of the New York cavaliers, eh?!' said Uncle Paul. And Gladys stoutly answered: "No!" But afterward she asked herself, had she told the whole truth? "If Darrell Mandeville chooses to marry Miss Borrance, let him," she thought. I shall never pursue any man. Let other girls do as they think fit." That very afternoon, however, when she returned from a long ramble in the woods, with her straw hat full of blackberries, she found the little lodge occupied. "I am sorry to take you thus uncere moniously by storm," said a handsome, middle-aged gentleman, who looked to be what he was, a Wall street broker come out into the wilderness for his summer vacation. "But my friend has fallen over a cliff and broken his leg, and this was the nearest point of shelter within a range of seven miles. Perhaps your husband will ex cuse us, if—" "But it isn't my husband," said Gladys, composedly depositing tho berries on the table. "It is my Uncle Paul. lie is fishing, up the lake. But if he were here, he would say, as I do that you are very welcome. Where is the poor man ? I am not much of a sur geon, but—" She stopped abruply. There, lying on the little chintz-covered lounge, his pallid face supported by cushions, lay —Mr. Darrell Mandeville. "Miss Garland!" he exclaimed. "I am so glad!" "Mr. Mandeville," she uttered, in the same breath, "I am so sorry!" I have drifted here, of all places in the world!" he pleaded. "Because you are so badly hurt!" faltered Gladys, with the tears coming into her eyes. "I knew you were somewhere in this region," he said. "In fact, Miss Gladys, I was looking for you. But I didn't expect to find you just now, and thus, I thought— H And then he closed his eyes; a dead ly pallor crept across his face. "1 think he has fainted," said tho Wall street broker. And just then Uncle Paul came in Uncle Paul, who was a born chirur geon, and who understood all the heal ing secrets of the glen and forest —and Gladys heaved a deep sigh of relief. It would all be right now. A broken leg is no joke, especially in the back woods, where splints have to le manufactured out of the most in congruous material, and arnica cannot be had short of twelve miles. Mr. Mandeville made but a slow con valescence, yet he did not appear to re gard tho detention as unpleasant. Tho Wall street broker went back to his stocks and bonds. "I think we could easily get you to Andover," ho had said, wistfully. "And a parlor-ear from there—" "Oh, hang your parlor-cars!" said Mr. Mandeville, impetuously. "1 am j doing very well where I am now." i "Oh!" said tlie Wall street broker, a sudden light of comprehension irradi ating his dull brain. "Oh, in that case I may as well leave you to your fate; It's the old story of Ulysses and tho , Sirens over again." ***** Mrs. Templeton came into the room where Bora and Juliet were remodel ing their white dresses for a theatre party to the Casino, one September day, with Hushed cheeks and shining | eves. "Girls," she cried, "what do you * • think? Gladys is engaged!" "To some buffalo hunter?" said Bora, scornfully. "No!" said Kosie. "To Mr. Mande ville. lie has been up there for a month—at Lake Molechunkamunk." Juliet dropped her work. "Impossible!" she cried. "Gladys engaged up in those wildernesses, while Bora and I are left to wither on the stem down here in New Yorkj And to Darrell Mandeville, too—the best match of the season!" "Things do turn out so strangely!*' said Mrs. Templeton, reflectively. And Gladys, the predestined old maid of tiie family, was the first to ho married, after all. "Gladys always was lucky!" said her two sisters.— Saturday Nvjht. - T . Coloring Diamonds. Some very interesting and important experiments with diamonds have re cently been made at the Paris acade my of sciences. An experienced dia mond merchant bought a fine white diamond for four thousand six hun dred dollars. One morning he washed it with soap and water, when what was his consternation to find that it had turned yellow, which sent its value down to eight hundred dollars The matter was brought to the atten tion of the academy, and experts sub mitted a report which showed that diamond whitening is a fraud easy to accomplish and its easy to detect Bv plunging a yellow diamond into an aniline violet dye it becomes white while at the same time it loses neither its transparency nor brilliancy. In fact, on making the experiment, the experts had in a few minutes trans formed several yellow stones into what appeared magnificent white stones of five-fold value. Take a yellow dia mond, dip it even into no stronger dye than violet ink, wash it with water to remove any discoloration, and tho effect is immediate. The dried dia mond remains white. But, on the other hand, the illusion is of short duration. Rub the stone even lightly, and the yellow tint is seen coming back again, and a little further attri tion with the finger restores tho pris tine hue completely. This discovery may entail upon many persons an awakening to the fact that tho stones they have are of far less value than they supposed, and will necessitate even greater care than that exercised in purchasing. Douglas Jerrold once raised the question whether any pos session really paid its possessor which entails anxiety of mind, and diamonds in one way or another, entail so much that there are many to whom the great value set upon them becomes almost incomprehensible. Two Hatches. One day,when our ltufus Hatch was waiting at the depot, on his recent ex cursion, for a train, he heard his name pronounced, and discovered that it was applied to a man who seemed a bit under the influence of liquor. "Walk ing up to him, ltufus asked: "Is your name Hatch?" "You bet!" "So is mine. Perhaps we are dis tantly related." The man looked him all over,rubbed his eyes and looked again, and finally replied: "It's so blamed distant that I'll nev er own it," — Wall titreet News. MiIJ.FIKIM, PA., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER I, 18S:\ A PAPER FOR THE HOME CIRCLE. THE RURAL MASSES IN CHINA. Iloprlrn* I'nvnljr Forly Mnrrlnicr* Joint Family Kyilrm. A family, C. D., consisting of eight persons, owns an acre and a half of 'and. Tho land was bought by the grandfather of Uie present head and has never been subdivided since nor added to. Ho grows about seventy bushels of rice and seventy-five of wheat and some vegetables and cotton besides, worth altogether in money about $lO. He has two nephews who work outside and bring homo some, thing to help, and in that way they get along, but are very poor He pays government land tax to the extent of $1.50 a year, lie and all his neighbors wear native blue cloth, spun and woven in the family by the women from cotton grown by themselves. He never wore foreign cotton. The coat ho had on (a well-worn affair) had been made two years previously, and it would last two years more. It served him at night a coverlet as well as a coat by day • Another family owned four acres odd, only part of which was suitable for rice culture. Their incomo was about eighty bushels of wheat and 150 of rice, about a fourth of which they could usually sell. They paid some thing over $d a year as government land tax. They also grew more cotton than they could use, and sold every year about $lO worth. They were better oIT than sumo of their neighbors t but never saved any money. They had fifteen mouths to feed. The foregoing cases are given be cause they represent fairly the average condition to be found in rural China- The greater number of cultivators probably belong to theclass of tenants. Rome say the proportion of tenants to peasant proprietors is as seven to three ; others put it as three to two; but f whether tenant or proprietor, (ho con dition of the cultivator is much the same—that is, it rarely rises above what is just enough for the bare necessaries of life. My own observa tions have been mostly confined to this and the adjoining provinces, and 1 ex cluded the cultivators of tea, silk and opium, who, growing a commodity more and more in demand and easily transportable, are in a far better posi tion than the ordinary peasant ; but speaking for the greater part of China 1 believe 1 am not over-stating the case, in saying that for the working agricul. tural masses iHs a daily hand to hand struggle with want. In a succession of good years they are very comfort able, they have enough to eat and to wear, and they have few other wants ; but population Js ever increasing up to the food limit, and when a bad year or two comes they die off by hundreds or thousands. Two or three causes may readily be named as having mainly conduced to this state of things—causes which are generally to be found among Asiatic races. The rule prohibiting the devolution of property bv will, and making division compulsory among all male children, tends rapidly to reduce all holdings to a minimum—that is, to the very lowest quantity out of which it is possible to make a living. Here, as everywhere else, energy and good luck raise individuals to a position wealth, who may, if they choose, be come large land owners ; but in the course of a few generations this univer sal equaliser, aided by the apathy of the ordinary Chinese when in comfort able circumstances, will have reduced things to tlio former dead level Another equally potent factor is the habit of too early marriages. Parents deem it a religious duty to provide matches for their children as soon a* they are of marriageable years, and the young people go to the altar in as much the same way as they go to school in Europe.. It never occurs to them to ask lirst whether there will be enough to till the mouths that may come after, wards. The evil is further aggravated by the joint family system, which takes the responsibility off one's shoulders .and puts it jointly on that of half a dozen others. When the man knows that he will get an eqmil share of what is going whether he earns it or no, and that the benefit of denying him self any particular indulgence will accrue to others as well as to himself a great motive for thrift is withdrawn. Jn one respect the Chinese peasant is in a better condition than the Indian ryot; he is not in debt to money-lend ers. But Ido not know that that is a virtue for which he is entitled to much credit, for there is no class of money lenders to whom he could get in debt. Indeed, I am not sure that he is not thereby in a less adventageous posi tion, for when hard years come he has no means of pledging his property, which, if he could, might save him from sheer starvation. Florida has 680 factories, working 2,749 hands, with a capital invested $1,697,030. An Imperial llog. rotor (ho great must have been h pleasant companion at dinner. When he and his consort dined together they were waited on by u page and tho cm press' favorite chambermaid. Even at larger dinners he bore uneasily the presence and service of what he called listening lacqueys. His taste was not an imperial one. He loved, and most frequently ordered, for his own espec ial enjoyment, a soup with four cabba ges in it; gruel; pig, with some cream for sauce; cold roast meat, with pick led cucumbers or salad; lemons and lampreys; salt meat, bain and Lira burgh cheese. Previously to addressing himself to the "consummation" of this supply he took a glass of aniseed wa ter. At his repast he quaffed quass, sort of beer, which would have dis gusted an Egyptian, and he finished with Hungarian or French wine. He is described as "eating rudely with a sort of swilling noise," a quite appro priate accompaniment of such an im perial hog's feeding. But Peter wasn't a crank at his meals alone. Strange stories are told of his brutal and ferocious eccentrici ties. On one occasion, for instance l'eter and his consort arrived at Stutli. of, in Germany, for the night. The owner of the country house at which they stopped readily agreed to give them a small bedroom, the selection of which had heen made by the emperor himself. It was a room without stove or fireplace, had a brick tloor, the walls were hare, and the season being one of rigorous winter adifliculty arose as to warming this chamber. The host soon solved the difficulty. Sever al casks of brandy were emptied on the lloor, the furniture being first remov ed, and the spirit was then set lire to- The Czar screamed with delight as he saw the sea of llaines and srnelled th odor of Cognac. The fire was no sooner extinguished than the bed was replaced, and Peter and Catherine straightway betook themselves to their repose, and not only slept profoundly all night in this gloomy bower, amid the fun.es and steams of burnt brandy, but rose in the morning thoroughly refreshed and delighted with their couch and the vapors which had cur tained their repose. IToni that time forth a preparative to repose with Peter was to fumigate his chamber with burnt brandy. Principal battles of the War. Following are the dates of the prin cipal battles of the civil war, who commanded in each, and the number killed on both sides: Bull Bun (first), July 21,1861; North, Gen. McDowell: killed, 481; South Gen. Beauregard; killed, unknown' Shiloh, April 7, 18G2; North, Gen. Grant; killed, 17o5; Bouth, Gen. A. & Johnston; killed, 1728. Seven Pines and Fair Oaks, May 31 and June 1 1862; North. Gen. McClellan; killed 800; South, Gen. J. K. Johnston; killed 2860. Antietum, Sept. 10 and 17,1862 North, Gen. McClellan; killed, 2010 South, Gen. Lee; killed, 3500. Chan! eellorsville, May 2 and 3, 1864; North Gen. Hooker; killed, 1512; South Gen. Jackson; killed, 1581. Gettys burg, July 1, 2 and 3, 1863; North Gen. Meade; killed, 2831; South Gen. Lee; killed, 3500. Yicksburg Muly 3 and 4, 1863; North, Gen. Grant; killed, 545; South, Gen. Pemberton; killed, unknown. Chickamauga, Sept 19-23, 1863; North, Gen. Thomas', killed, 1644; South, Gen. Bragg! killed, 2389. Wilderness, May 5, 6 and 7, 1804; North, Gen. Grant; killed, 5597; South, Gen. Lee; killed, 2000 Spottsylvania, May 8-21, 1864; North' Gen. Grant; killed, 4177; South, Gen. Lee, killed, 1000. The abov figures are based on medical official re turns, and do not agree with returns o, the Adjutant General. No two return agree. Tho Adjutant General make s the killed at Wilderness 2261, and at Spottsylvania 2270; while Gen. Meade's report, based on reports im mediately after the battle, states killed at Wilderness at 3288; at Spottsylvania. 2i46. ________ Something of Hotel Life. Gossipping about the hotels of New York and the costly habits which they i stimulate, the "Lounger" of the Tri- \ imie touches upon a hidden feature of hotel life thus: "Many a guest is in debt and cannot get away from his ho ' tel. Many a woman, apparently inde : pendent and fortunate, is wondering while she smiles with visitors, how she can get her trunks away from the estab lishment,and what person in the house she shall strike for a loan and at what : sacrifice. People often look into the tenement houses and think that the people must live very miserable there. j but I wonder if they are not happier > homes than some of these large hotels, ! where every week comes the repri mand that S2OO or more is due and the rules of the house imperative." Terms, SIOO Per Year in Advance. PEARLS OF THOUGHT. Some men give according to their means, and some according to their meanness. Value the friendship of him who stands by you in the storm. The weak sinews become strong by their conflict with dilliculties. No man should part with his own inviduality and become that of an other. Men must lie decided on what they will not do, and they are able to act with vigor in what they ought to do. A shrewd observer once said that in walking the streets of a slippery morn ing, one might see where the good na tured people lived, by the ashes thrown on the ice before the door. There are a set of malicious, prating, prudent gossips, both male and female, who murder characters to kill time ; and who will rob a young fellow of bis good name before he lias years to know the value of it. If you cannot be happy in one way be in another, and this facility of dis position wants but little aid from philosophy, for health and good hu mor are almost the whole affair. Many run about after felicity like an absent man hunting for his hat, while it is in his hand or on his bead. Personality of Locomotives. "No two engines are alike—l mean as regards their character,' said an en gineer to a reporter. "Locomotives have a character,then, have they ?" "They have, indeed. Thev have their peculiarities, and their ways and their moods also. On every railroad this fact is understood, and each en gine has its engineer, who finds the longer he drives his iron horse the more he has to learn about her. Sonic" times she is erratic as a woman,- and for no apparent cause. Sometimes a higher pressure is necessary to make her go, sometimes under low head she will fly. And then again, under the same conditions, she kicks and spurts like a balky horse. I have taken out my machine on the Fort Wayne, and put her through the run one day at forty miles like a lady. The next day it often happens she'll kick and bump, and has to be forced into going. Jt's all according to the way she feels. However, an engineer learns his en gine's peculiarities, and knows how to control them, and if she has any speed he can get it out of her." Wonders in Store. Remarkable as have been the ad vances in the uses to which electricity can be put, according to Professor Mel ville Bell, the future has even greater surprises in store for us. lie thinks the time will come when electrical and telephone messages will be sent with out wires. The message bearer will be the rays of the sunlight. Tlieso-caljed electrical action is simply vibrations in the air, which produce certain results at different points ; and Professor Bell is of the opinion that inventive genius will yet enable us to make use of the imponderable agents to transmit mes sages between distant localities. In deed, there are enthusiasts who now think that we will ultimately be able to communicate with sentient beings in other planets. It has been demonstrated that the materials which compose the heavenly bodies are idfcnti- | cal, and it is a fair inference that creatures corresponding to our own race, with the same kind of faculties, people them. If so, we may perhaps yet have a friendly chat with the in habitants of Venus and Mars, and probably other worlds in solar systems 1 beyond our own.— Christian at Work. | Fuel. In a paper recently read before the Paris Academy of Sciences, some very interesting facts were given in regard to the various materials used as fuel, with some of which our readers are probably not familiar. Fossil resin, ; which has the appearance of yellow amber, is obtained from the auriferous alluvium of New Grenada. Egyptian asphalt leaves after burning a red ash, which is oxide of iron. Judea pitch is found floating in lumps on the surface ; of the Dead Sea. Samples of pitch from Chink are obtained from bore holes which the Chinese put down for the purpose of procuring salt. These holes, which are usually about 300 fathoms deep and three-quarters of an inch in diameter, are bored with an iron rope, and the salt water is raised by a bamboo rod with a valve at tho bottom. When the bore hole is put down to a still greater depth, consider- ; file quantities of inflammable gas issues from it, and the gas is utilized in light ing up the work and also for firing the steam boilers, the Chinese being practi cal and wide awake in this as in many other things. NEWRFAFER LAWS. If msbficribeni order the diseonWnnation of nevmpAfwo, the publishers nnjr oonttsM 1o eecid thein until all arrearage* are paid. If snfaecrilien refuse or neglect to take tfcur newspapers from the office to which theyare sent, they are held responsible until thwy have settled the bills and ordered them dis continued. If subscribers move to other places with out informing the publisher, and the newe ' papers are sent to the former plaoe of resi dence, they are then re*i>onsibta ADVESfiSiNO RAfKS: ! 1 wk. 1 wo. I toe*.l *we. Jfryei tens** II •fSS W column 8> *> I 600 I 10 I ! C column ........ 600 1001 19 00 I 90 nl io iflrtton. NO. 43. The Mother. Though lost in the whirlpool of past ion, Though high on Ihe pathway to lame, When hopes of our innocent childhood Have melted away to a name, One Ihonght, like a gem amid rains, Will dazzle our eyoe with its joy, And bring back tho sweet words she uttered: "A ou'll think of your mother, my boy." You'll think ol the love that she showered, Unlailing by day and by night; You'll sigh for the swoet, good-night kisses, Tho eyes with their meek, loving light! And whether hle's pathway be pleasant, Or r obi ied of each rosebud of joy, Your heart buck to her still will journey— You'll think of your mother, my boy! Wherever tho smiles of a mother I Have relightencd a heart and it I care, : God's blessing has hallowed that roof-tree! A glimpse ol swoet heaven is there! Though further tho years lure us onward. They cannot her inem'ry destroy; In silence and tears all unbidden You'll ihink of your mother, my bo,, HUMOROUS. "That prisoner has a very smooth countenance," said the judge to the sheriff. ? 'Yes," said the sheriff, "he was ironed jus t before lie was brought in." A sherry cobbler will never mend your old shoes. A regular kidnapper Soothing syrup. Why the rabbits escaped.—His lord ship (after missing his tenth rabbit): "I'll tell you what is, Bagster, your rabbits are all two inches too short hereabouts." "No, sir," said Fogg, "I never knew Brown to mislead or deceive anybody in his life. No, sir; fact is, he couldn't Nobody would believe anything he ever said." Little Aggie's sister had invited her best young man to tea. There was a lull in the conversation, which was broken by the inquisitive Aggie: "Papa, is dose fedders ober Mr. Wob binson's mouf ?" "Yes," said the drummer, watching a rival at a hotel; "it's his first trip this way. Don't you see, he isn't on tin ling terms with the table girl?" A young man who went to the late war began his first letter to his sweet heart after this fashion - : "My dear Julia—Whenever I am tempted to do wrong 1 think of you, and I say, 'Get thee behind me, Satan.' " Sick man—"What! a female physi j cian? I want a doctor, to make me well—not a woman, to make love to me." Female physician (bashfully)— i *1 promise to do neither." "Gentlemen," said the Texas man in I the restaurant when the waiter dumped a plate of hot soup down his back, "gentlemen, don't laugh." As he had risen tc his feet and drawn two re volvers his wishes were respected. A Unban Execution. Arriving at the foot of the platform the death sentence was again read, and the "alguacil de corte" corresponding to our sheriff—asked the prisoner if he had anything to say to the people. He merely shook his head, byway of reply, and was at once seated, his legs and his arms pinioned, with the hands crossed on his breast, and the collar of the garroto fixed about his neck. At this point of the proceedings the "verdugo" pulled from his person a long, bright knife, and handed it to the police who were present. A black cap was then drawn over the prisoner's face, and the priests began to recite the "Credo." When they came to the words, "His only Son," the "verdugo," by a swift and dexterous turn of the lever, launched the soul of the poor wretch into eternity. There was but a momentary quiver of the limbs and a straightening of the form, then all was still, for the man was stone dead. The mode of punishment is far more merci ful than the hideous and bungling per. formances frequently gone through with at our gibbets. The troops then wheeled into column and marched away to beat of drums, and now came the strange sequel to this dismal spectacle. As soon as the ground was cleared one of the police went forward and, seizing the "verdugo," arrested him for murder, hurrying him to the prison* where the "Juzgado" were still assembled. Placing him in their midst he accused him of having killed a man, and denounced him as a murderer. The judge asked him what he had to say in answer to this charge. "It is true," replied the "verdugo," "that I killed the prisoner, but I deny being a murderer, for, although I com mitted the act charged," displaying his arms with the badge, "I did it in the cause of justice and in pursuance of the law, all of which I was compelled to do by virtue of my office." "The accused is innocent, and is dis charged," answered the court, and thus the formula of Spanish law was satis" t eti.—Philadelphia Press,