PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY IN MUSSER'S BUILDING. Corner of 3lnfn and Prnn St*„ nt SI.OO TER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE; Or (1*35 if not paid in advance. Acceptable Correspondence Solicited. {37*Adclreiss nil loiters to "MILLHEIM JOURNAL." Yesterday aud To-Daj. YESTERDAY. It it so wide, this groat world vaulted o'er By the blue sky clasping while ehoro to shore. And yet it. is not wide enough lor uial I love you so—it cannot hold my love. There is not space in oarih or heaven above. There is not room for iny great love ami me. TO-DAY. It is so wide, this pre vt world vaulted o'er By the sad sky clasp'ng dark shore to shore, It is too wido— it is too wide for me! Would God that it wero narrowed to a grave, And 1 slept quiet, naught hid with ine save The love thut was too great—loo great for mo, —Frances Hodyson in the Century. A Painter's Vengeance. Thirty years ag<? the Belgian paint er, Antoine AVicrtz, was astonishing the artistic world by the powerful but •extravagant productions which are now exhibited at Brussels in the Museum which bears his name. Though his brush was generally oc cupied with classical subjects, or weird allegorical designs such as the "Con test between Good and Evil," he occa sionally consented to paint portraits. This was a favor, however, which he only accorded to those whose physiog nomy happened to interest him. It may be added that his inclined rather to the grotesque and eccentric than the beautiful. One (lav he received a visit from a certain M. van Spach, a notary, who had been seized with a desire to have his features perpetuated by the cele brated artist. Maitre van Spach—a dry, wrinkled, keen-eyed old gentleman, with an expression of mingled shrewd ness and self-importance —was one of the wealthiest men in Brussels, and as avaricious as he was rich; a character istic which had procured him the nick name of "Maitre llarpagon." AViertz was aware of his visitor's failing; nevertheless lie acceded to bis request without demur. The fact was, he had been conquered at tirst sight by the old scrivener's picturesque head. That head was a perfect treasure to an artist, with its bald cranium, wrinkled forehead, shaggy brows overhanging the small piercing eyes, hooked nose t and thin-lipped mouth, which shut like a trap. AYeirtz was lascinated, and while his visitor was pompously ex plaining his wishes, the artist was tak ing mental note of every line and feat ure. "How much will the portrait cost?" was the notary's cautious inquiry. "My terms are ten thousand francs, monsieur," was the reply. The lawyer started, stared incredu lously, shrugged his shoulders, and took up his hat. "In that case," he answered dryly, "I have only to wish you good morning." Alarmed at the prospect of losing this promising "subject," whom he had already in imagination transferred to canvas, Wiertz hastened to add: are my usual terms; but as your face interests me, 1 am willing to make a reduction in your favor. Sup pose we say five thousand ?" But M. van Spach still objected, urg eng that such a sum was exorbitant for "a strip of painted canvas." At length, after much bargaining and hesitation he agreed to pay three thousand francs for the portrait— "frame included;" and this being set tled, he rose to take leave. "When am I to give you the first sit ting ?" he inquired. "There is no hurry," replied the art* tist, who had his own intentions re garding this portrait. "I am somewhat occupied just now, but will let you know when I have a morning at liber ty. Au revoir!" The moment his visitor had left the studio Wiertz seized palette and brushes, placed a fresh canvas on his easel, and dashed in the outline of the portrait from memory. He painted as if for a wager, while the summer day light lasted; and, thanks to his marvel ous rapidity of execution, when eve ning came the picture was all but fin ished. He had represented the old notary seated at a table, strewn with papers and parchments, his full face turned toward the spectator. The head was brought out in masterly relief against a shadowed backround, and painted in the artist's best style; bold, free and un conventional, showing no signs of its hurried execution. The likeness was striking in its fidelity, giving not only the features, but the character and ex pression of the original, so that the canvas seemed instinct with life. The following morning Weirtz gave the finishing touches to his work, put it in a frame, and dispatched it to Van Spa h; instructing the messenger to wait for an answer. He rubbed his hands with pleasure as he pictured the old gentleman's de. light and astonishment, and anticipat_ ed the sensation which this tour de force would create in artistic circles. In due time the messenger returned with the picture in one hand and a ncttt in the other. Wiertz hastily dis- ®lit tlilllwim Journal. DEININGER & BUMLLLER, Editors and Proprietors. VOL. LVIL missed him, opened the letter, and read as follows; "Sir—l beg to return your extraordi nary production, which 1 cannot sup pose is intended for my portrait, as it bears no resemblance A me. In art, as in everything else, I like to have my money's worth lor mv money, and 1 do not choose to pay you the sum of three thousand francs for one afternoon's work. As you do not consider me worth the trouble of painting seriously, I must decline any farther transactions with you, and remain, sir. Yours obediently, PETER VAN SPACH." When tho artist recovered from his astonishment at this remarkable epistle, he burst into a fit of laughter which made the studio ring. "His money's worth—ha! ha! Maitre Harpagon has overreached himself for once. He could have sold it for live times what it cost him—the benighted old Philistine." He placed the rejected picture once more on the easel, and regarded it long and critically, only to become more convinced of its merit. He knew that art judges would pronounce it a chef d'auivre. His amusement began to give place to irritation at the indignity to which his work had beeu subjected* and vague projects of vengeance rose before him as he paced the door, with bent head and knitted brows. Suddenly he stopped short, his eyes sparkling with mischievous satisfaction at an idea which had suddenly occurred to him. lie took up his palette, and set to work upon the picture again, adroitly altering and retouching. In an in redibly short space of time it underwent a startling metamorpho sis. While carefully preserving the likeness, he had altered the face by ex aggerating its characteristics; giving a cunning leer to the deeply-set eyes, a grimmer curve to the thin lips, and a scowl to the heavy brows. A stubby beard appeared on the chin, and the attitude became drooping and decrepit. Then the notary's accessories vanish ed. the background becoming the wall of a cell, with a barred window; while the table, with its litter of parchments, was transforme 1 into a rough bench, beneath which might be discerned a pitcher and a loaf. AVhen this was achieved to his sat isfa- tiun, the artist signed his work, and gummed on the frame a conspicu ous label, with the inscription, "Impris oned for Debt." Then he sent for a fiacre and drove to Melchior's, the well-known picture dealer in the Rue de la whose window oilers such constant at traction to lovers of art. "I have something to show you," began AViertz. "I have just finished this study, which I think -is fairly suc cessful. Can you find room for it in your window?" "Find room for it? I should think so!" exclaime 1 the dealer, enthusiastic ally. "My dear fellow, it is first rate! I have sjen nothing of yours more striking and original— and that is say ing much. AVhat price do you put upon it?' "I have not yet decided," replied the painter. "Give it a good place in the window, and if a purchaser presents himself let me know." The picture was immediately instal led in the place of honor, and soon at tracted a curious group. All day Melchior's window was surrounded; and next morning the papers noticed the wonderful picture, and sent frtsh crowds to gaze at it. Among the rest was a friend Maitre van Spach, who could hardly believe his eyes on recognizing the worthy notary in this "questionable shape." He hastened at once to inform him of the liberty which had been taken with his person; and not long afterward the old lawyer burst into the shop, startling its proprietor, who at once recognized the original of the famous picture. "M. Melchoir," began the intruder. "I have been made the victim of a shameful practical joke, by one of your clients. It is my portrait sir, that hangs in your window; it is I, sir—l, Maitre van .Spach—who am held up to ridicule in that infamous daub- -pilloried for all the world to see as an imprisoned bankrupt! If the thing is not I shall apply to the police." At this threat the picture dealer merely smiled. "1 must refer you to the artist, mon sieur," he returned, coolly. "The pic ture belongs to him, and I cannot re move it without his permission." To Wiertz's house went Maitre van Spach, in a wiiite heat of rage and in dignation. On entering the studio, he found the painter lounging in an arm chair, smoking his afternoon cigar. "Ah, is it you, Maitre?" was his bland greeting. "To what fortunate circumstance am I indebted for this visit? Pray take a seat. Do you smoke? You will find those cigars excellent." "Monseiur," interrupted the notary, cutting short these courtesies with scant ceremony, "let us come to the point. There is at this moment in Melchoir's window a picture—a carica ture—which maleos mo the laughing stock of tho town. 1 insist on its being taken out at once—at once, do you understand?" "Not quite," replied the otuef, im purturbably. "It is truo there is a picture of inineatMelchior'sbutl really don't see how it makes you ridiculous." "You don't see? But that picture is my portrait, sir—my portrait!" criod his visitor, rapping his cane upon the floor. "Your portrait?" echoed tho other, with a look of surprise. "Of course it is, as any one else can see at a glance. You—" "But—excuse nie" the painter inter rupted "you said yesterday that it did not resemble you in the least. See— here is your letter to that effect." A r an Spach colored and bit his lip. He felt that he had been caught. "Such being the case," continued Wiertz, "and the work being returned on my hands, 1 have a perfect right to dispose of it to the best advantage." The notary took a turn or two across tho room to recover his composure. "Co i e," he said, at length, forcing a smile, "let us try to arrange this ri diculous affair amicably. I will give you the three thousand francs at once, and take the horrible thing out of the window—" "May a moment," interrupted his companion, as he flicked the ashes from his cigar, and carelessly changed his position. "You must be aware that the picture in its present shape is ten times more valuable than a mere por trait. It is now a work of imagina tion and invention, and I may own that I consider it one of my most suc cessful canvases. I could not think of parting with it for less than fifteen thousand francs." The notary gasped. "Fifteen thousand francs! You are joking." "Not at all. That is my price; you may take it or leave it." There was a moment's pause; then the visitor turned on his heel. "I leave it, then! Go to the deuce with your picture!" he retorted, as he left the room, banging the door behind him. "He had not gone many yards from the house however, when he stopped short and reflected. So long as that ill-omened canvas remained on view in Melchior's window he would not know a moment's peace. The story would be sure to get wind, and even his friends would join in the laugh against him. He would hardly dare to show his face abroad. At any sacri fice this scandal must be stopped. But—fifteen thousand francs! He fair ly groaned as he reluclantly retraced his steps toward the house. "Monsieur AViertz," lie began, in a conciliatory tone, "I have considered the matter, and—l agree to your terms. 1 will take the picture fur the sum you named." AViertz threw away his cigar aud rose. "Monsieur, you are very kind. But it happens that I, too, have been con sidering, and a brilliant idea has oc curred to me." The notary shuddered. He dreaded AViertz's "ideas" and he had a presenti ment that some fresh disaster was in store for him. "AVhat is it?" he asked nervously. # "As my picture seems to have made a sensation, 1 think I will advertise it to be rallied for at five francs a ticket, and that all the town may have a chance of seeing it, I shall hire a com missionaire to carry it through the streets for a day or two. Not a bad notion—eh ?" Maitre van Spach was speechless with consternation. "You—you would not do that?" he stammered. "Why not? I am confident the plan would succeed—so confident that I wouldn't give it up for less than thirty thousand francs— money down." The unfortunate notary burst into a coM perspiration, and wiped his fore head with his handkerchief. To see himself trotted round Brussels on a porter's back, labelled "Imprisoned for debt!" It was like a horrible night mare. "Here." he exclaimed, desperately, taking out his pocket-book—"here is a check for the amount. For Heaven's sake let me have the picture, and I will say no more about it." Half an hour afterward the detestar ble canvas was in his possession; but it was not until he had cut it out of the frame and burned it to ashes that he felt himself safe from some fresh manifestation of the painter's venge ance. Meantime, Wiertz cashed the check, and after deducting the sum of- ten thousands francs —the price he had first demanded—forwarded the rest to the charitable fund of the town in the name of Maitre van Spach. MILL!IICIM, PA.,'THURSDAY, JUNK 28, 1883. INDIAN SCALPS, Price* for Them In Colnitlnl Mine* A Bl|i Premium *ll Heart Indiana. The taking of scalps came to be n recognized part of colonial warfar v Hannah Dnstin, who escaped from Indian captivity In 1008, took ten scalps with her own hand, and was paid for th m. Captain Church, undert iking his expedition against the eastern Indians, in 1705, after the Deerfield massacre, announced that he had not hitherto permitted tho scalp ing of "Canada men," but should thenceforth allow it. In 1722, when the Massachusetts colony sent an expe. dition against the village of "praying Indians," founded by Father Rasle, they offered for each scalp a bounty of £ls, afterward increased to £100; and this inhumanity was so far carried out that the French priest himself was one of the victims. Jeremiah Bunistead, of Boston, made this entry in his alma nac in the same year; "Aug. 22, 28 Indian scalps brought to Boston, one of which was Bombazen's (an Indian chief) and OHO fryer RaileW Two years after, the celebrated but inappro priately named Captain Lovewell, the foremo: t Indian fighter of his region, came upon ten Indians asleep round a pond; he and his men killed and s< alped them all, and entered Dover New Hampshire, bearing the ten scalps stretched on hoops and elevated on poles. After receiving an ovation in Dover they wefit by water to Boston, and were paid a thousand pounds for their scalps. Yet Lovewell's party was always accompanied by a chaplain, and hal prayers every morning and evening. The most painful aspect of the whole practice lies in the fact that it was not confined to those actually en gaged in lighting, but that the colonial authorities actually established a tariff of prices for including even non-combatants—so much for a man's, so much for a woman's, so much for a child's. Dr. Ellis has lately pointed out the striking circumstance that whereas William Penn declared the person of an Indian : o.be "sacred," his grandson in 17C1 offered $134 for the scalp of an Indian rnan.sl3oforthatof a boy under ten, and sro$ r 0 for that of a woman or girl. The habit doubtless began in the fury of retaliation, and was continued in order to conciliate Indian allies; and when bounties were offered to them, the white volunteers naturally claimed a share. Put there is no doubt that Puritan theology helped the adoption of the practice. It was partly because the Indian was held to be something worse than a beast that he was treated as being at least a beast. The truth was that he was viewed as a liend, and there could not be much scruple about using inhu manities against a demon. Cotton Mather calls Satan "the old landlord'' of the Americ an wilderness, and says in his "Magnalia:" f'These Parts were then covered with Nations of Bar barous Indians and Infidels, in whom the . rrint-e of the Power of the Air did work as a Spirit; nor could it be expected that Nations of Wretches whose whole religion was the most Explicit sort of Devil-Worship should not be acted by the Devil to engage in some early and bloody Action for the Extinction of a Plantation so contrary to his Interests as that of New England now."— T. W. Hiyyinson, in Harper's. ITelmholtz showed that a wave of thought would require a minute to traverse a mile of nerve, and Hirsch found that a touch on the face was recognized by the brain and responded to by a manual signal in the seventh of a second, lie also found that the speed of sense differed for different organs, the sense Of hearing being re. sponded to in a sixth of a second; while that of sight required only one-fifth second to be felt and signaled. In all these cases the distance, traversed was about the same, so that the inference is that images travel more slowly than sound or touch. '• It"still reniained t however, to show the portion of this interval taken up by the action of the brain. Professor Donders, by a very delicate apparatus, demonstrated this to be about seventy-five thousandths of a second. Of the whole interval, forty thousandths are occupied in the simple act of recognition, and thirty-five thousandths in the act of willing a re sponse. When two irritants were caused to operate on the same sense, one twenty-fifth of a second was re quired for the person to recognize which was the first; but a slightly longer interval was required to deter mine the priority in the case of the other senses. These results were ob tained from a middle-aged man, but in youths the mental operations are some, what quicker than in the adult. The average of many experiments proved that a simple thought occupies one fortieth of a second. A PAPER FOR THE HOME CIRCLE. The Speed of Thought. UY TilE LIGHT OF THE MOON. POP* i'ntr f.mtn KtnrUf n Myatlc Influ ence mi .tinit. The statement that the moon affects the human body may at first sight 3eem nonsense, but the fact is, when we examine it a little, it does not ap pear so absurd after all. The moon certainly exercises an influence over fluids on the earth, and the human body is about three-fourths water. It is said that if wo put a human body Into an oven and make it perfectly dry it will go down from 150 to about 40 pounds. People who are, born when the moon is lising are more subject to her influ ence in after life than others. They frequently have the habit of walking in their sleep, and about the time of her fulling th\v are greatly subject to dreams. Another curious thing is that, if near-sighted, their eyes grow more dim at the opposition and the change. It is also well known that there are animals—horses, lor instance- which are moon-eyed; that is, their sight is better or worse through the month, ac corning to the condition of the moon. The same is said of some dogs. A whole volume might be filled with the literature of tlie moon—not only the astrological notions attached to her, but the curious myths and legends. Nothing is better known than that the insane are affected by her beams at certain seasons, and yet there are some doctors who deny it. The famous English physician, Forbes Winslow. who made an exhaustive investigation of the subject, in summing up the vari ous theories as to how the moon acts upon the demented, says it is impossi ble to ignore the evidence of such men as Pinel, Daquin, Guislain and others. The astrological idea is that the planet acts on the moist matter of the brain. Some of the French psychologists thought that the insane were observed to be more troublesome when the inoon was full because the light would naturally make them so, preventing them from sleeping. But this is a very poor explanation, for, although the moon is at her full every month the nights are not always bright— there may be a week or more of cloudi ness--but the restlessness and excite ment among the lunatics is seen to be just the same, an 1 to exist by day as well as after dark. Mr. Winslow*B suggestion was as follows: "May not the alleged changes observed the insane at certain phases of the moon arise not from the direct but the indirect influence of the planet? It is well known that the rarity of the air, the electric conditions of the atmos phere, the degree of heat, dryness, moisture, and amount of wind prevail ing, are all more or less modified by the state of the moon. In the general ity of bodily diseases what oblivious changes are observed to accompany the meteorological condition referred to? Surely those suffering from dis eases of the brain and nervous system affecting the mind, cannot with any degree of reason be considered as ex empt from the operations of agencies that are universally admitted to affect patients afflicted with other diseases." lie gives an instance further on of a lady of much intelligence employed as a matron in his establishment for in sane ladies during some five years, who informed him that the period of the full moon invariably created a great agitation among the patients.—Balti more News. Queer Shops. There are very many more boot and shoe shops here than in any other town I have ever seen, writes a London cor respondent. In the business streets one may count them by dozens,and they ;tll look thriving. The continual rain and damp of London probably account for the innumerable shops for the sale of India-rubber goods, there must be at least twenty here for one to be met at home. But the climate cannot explain the remarkable prevalence of shops where nothing is sold but .artificial teeth! These crop up on every side and excite our constant remark. We wonder whether people step in and buy a tooth or two or a set of teeth, as one selects a hat or an umbrella; whether regular dental operations are carried on within; also, whether such a branch of business can possibly be pro fitable when carried on by so many traders. Begged Pardon. An Arkansaw man borrowed a newspaper and sat on the end of a cross tie, reading. A train came along but he was so deaf that he could not hear the whistle. The engineer "slowed up" and gently shoved the man aside. "I'll be blamed," he exclaimed, "if you ain't the imperlightest feller I ever seed," and just then discovering that he had been removed by a locomo tive, continued, "Beg pardon. Didn't know you was in the neighborhood."— Arkansaw Traveler. Terms, SIOO Per Year in Advance. The history of spurs is lolli curious nnl entertaining. The earlie t form of spur was a single goad or sharp p u'nt. The dashing young knights of the feudal Umcs had a great love for deco rating th-ir spur.* with jewels. In the tournuin nts they used spurs with mottoes on the slianks. One such had "A true knight and I" on one side, and "Anger me and try" on the other. By and* nt custom, tlie chorister boys in the cathedrals can claim "spur money" if anybody enters the sacred edifice with spurs on: If you Iti ing in spur or lint, b a pence you pay—be fa lire of that. The whip was not so knightly as the spur; it however took part in several old customs. In the ancient city of York was a day called whip-dog day, on which the boys were accustomed to go around and whip every dog they met. This originated in the following peculiar fact. A priest once celebrating mass dropped the pix, which an unreligious dog snapped up and swallowed. The profane beast was hung, and for years his species was subjected to tor ment for his outrageous impiety. That was, of course, in the good old times- Another humane game connected with tli© whip was this: A rooster was tied to the branch of a tree. The players were blindfolded and presented with long whips. They were then led to a little distance, and commenced lashing in all directions, the fun con sisting in the smart cuts they gave one another. The one who struck the roos ter first, and made him cry out, won the game. The old game of whip-top is as old as history. In Dryden's translation of Virgil's JEneid we read: As young striplings whip the top for sport On the smooth pavement of the empty court. Two hundred years ago men played whip-top as eagerly as the boys, and in some villages a "town top" was pro vided for the amusement of the poor. rugnnclons Fonies. Ponies are common in India, but the quaintest of them all is a little fellow run to seed and called the tattoo. A correspondent of the London Field fur nishes the following description: It is a pony with few redeeming qualities to set off against a whole stableful of vices; but among his very questionable virtues may be reckoned his pugnacity. So great is this, that it would be quite possible to keep Indian tattoos, like cocks, for fighting purposes. If decent ly fed, groomed, and but moderately worked, they will become as high couraged as game cocks, and as ready to rush at one another, and to do battle to the death, as birds in the pit. A chestnut pony of this sort—a child's pony, too—has been known to bite off the ear of another pony for his break fast, and to assimilate a very consider able portion of the tail of another tattoo in the course of the afternoon. When hard worked and ill fed —as he generally is in a native stable—the tattoo's pugnacity, for which one can not but give him credit, is turned into a stubbornness that would astonish a donkey. Nothing will move him, not even a rope round his fore leg, backed up by profanity and Mows. A stoic might admire the animal when in this mood if he did not belong to himself. But perhaps after the five fat natives within the box on wheels, to which the tattoo is attached, have given up all hopes of moving for that day and have betaken themselves to the chew ing of betel nut as a solacing and phil osophical employment of the hour, the cunning and malicious tattoo will make a sudden and unexpected dash forward with the reins about his heels, when may be witnessed the edifying spectacle of five fat baboo 3 laid upon the road at equal distances, just like the eggs and the basket, as in athletic performances. The tattoo's mind, such as it is, is, in fact, against every man and every man's hand is against him. But although morally bad and physi cally unlovely there are good points about the brute after all. It may take time to" discover them, still there are hopes for the tattoo of the future. The growth of the nails is more rap id in children than in adults and slow est in the aged; goes on faster in the summer than in the winter, so that the same nail which is renewed in one hundred and thirty-two days in win ter, requires only one hundred and six teen in summer. The increase of the nails of the right hand is more rapid than those of the left; moreover, it dif fers for the different fingers, and in order corresponds with the length of the finger, consequently it is fastest in the middle finger, nearly equal in the two on either side of this, slower in the little finger and slowest in the thumb. The growth of all the nails on the left hand requires eighty-two days more than those of the right. NO. 26. S;MIS an I The Nails. NEWSPAPER LAWS. If subscribers order the discontinuation of newspniers, the publishers may continue to send them until ajl arrearages are paid. If subscribers refuse or neglect to take their newspapers from the office to which they are sent, they are held responsible until they have settled the bills and ordered them dis continued. If subscribers move to other Places with out iriYorming the publisher, and the news papers are sent to tne former place of resi dence, they are then responsible. 1 wk. 1 mo. I Smo* I * mm. I law I sailor* *1 <*' • if 2 •<& * f S® fcVnluirm *"0 4m l <*l 10 W I UH l column ... 000 1 tin 12 001 20 00 | SOS Imlu,n n.l 000 12 l I i 001 | SO 00 . ~T)neTrh * sqasr*. Adminmtrsiors mii-1 Kx. m utors' Notices BJ..V. Tmnslent MfvertismaMt* siA tresis 10 cm nu per line for first iniMWtjoß m<J 0 csnU psr' :u0 for ssch additional insertion. Scatter Seeds of Kindness. Tliere wag never a golden sunbeam That fell on a desolate place, H it loft some trace ol" ita presenoe That lime could nover efface. Not n sound of ineSahle eweetneaa 'lhat ravished the listening ear, Th t slumbered in silence forgotten For many and many a year— But a word or might awaken Its magical power anew, Long alter the sweet-voiced singer Had laded from earthly view. Nor a heirt lhat was ever so weary, Or tainted with sin and despair, But a word of tender compassion Might find an abiding-place there. Yet count loss thousands are yearning . For sympathy, kindness and love, And souls are groping in darkness Without one gleam from above. There was never a sunbeam wasted, Nor a song thnt was faung in vain, And aouls that seem lost in the shadow® A Saviot's love my reclaim. Then scatter seeds of kindness, Though your deeds may never be known, The harvest will ripen in glory If the seed bo faithfully sown; And life will close with a blessing, And fade into endless day; L : ke the golden hues of That lade in the twilight gray.- John C. Blair. PUKGEST PARAGRAPHS. Breaches of promise—Those your tailor didn't bring home. llow and where the gallant grocer's clerk makes love—Across the way. A Brooklyn boy can imitate with his mouth the sound of a lawn mower. His father is going to try and imitate a thrashing machine. Genius having succeeded in making a sti amboat out of paper, it won't be long before an inventive man will pro duce a railroad eating-house beefsteak made of pasteboard. A "pocket guide" for instruction in the art of swimming has been pub lished. When you fall overboard and don't know how to swim, all you have to do is to tread water and read your guide. "Is that about the right length, sir?" asked the skillful barber as he finished cutting his customer's hair. "I like the sides and back," was the response; "but I wish you would make it a little longer on the top." The Apache Indian, it is said, can march from thirty to forty miles a day without becoming tired. It is really a pity that the Apache cannot be civilized, for he would be just the fellow to accompany his wife on a shopping excursion. • And now doth the small boy knock a picket off the fence to use for a bat, and when he gets a swift ball on the end of it he lays it down and rubs his hands against his sides and looks sadder than the"before using" portrait of anti-loan advertisements. Well, there is one thing sure," said Mr. Job Shuttles, as he closed a discus sion on the wrongsidedness of every thing in general; "there is no justice in this world, and it makes me blue to think of it." True, Job," said Patience, "but the reflection that there is justice in the next, ought to make you feel a great deal bluer." Unmoved. The man or woman who tries to get a reputation for eccentricity is natur ally outraged at people who won't be astonished. Baudelaire, a French lit erary character, was one of these, and on his first coming to Paris he visited another literary person, M. Du Camp, who asked him whether he would have Bordeaux or Burgundy. "Both," was the reply, and he drained a bottle of each at a draught, looking at his host to see what impression it made upon him. Du Camp was unmoved. Bau delaire soon visited Du Camp again with his hair dyed green. Du Camp paid no attention to it. At last Bau delaire cried in fury: "Don't you notice anything peculiar in the color of my hair?" "Nothing whatever,' was the reply. "I have seen at least fifty people with green hair to-day. If you had dyed yours a bright blue that would have struck me as uncom mon." Baudelaire bounced from his chair, flung himself from the room, and declared to a friend that Du Camp was the most disagreeable man in Paris. Soon after the Chinese legation was established in its present quarters at Washington a beggar called on Pro fessional business. To his amazement he was ushered with elaborate bows and gestures into a luxurious room where an attache kindly asked how he might serve him. A collection was then taken up for his benefit among the members of the embassy, and he was invited to refresh himself with a lunch of delicate confections. As a matter of course his singular experi ence was known to every beggar in town within twenty-four hours, and the legation has been besieged ever Bince by unprepossessing visitors.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers