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IN
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itcjptaMe CorrespoQfience Solldtel l
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"MILLHEIM JOURNAL."
The Wind Blows.
| Ibuk!
The wir.d blows, and sleet and hail
Fiist follow on the eddying gale—
i The winter seething in tho snows;
Tlie sweeping storm, from bight to hight
Bouts back the hu&e, devouring night;
The watchdogs hark
And the wind blow*.
Hoik!
The wind hlows, the hills grow brown,
The snow melt* and tho rain conies down,
The swollen current dips and flows;
The water loams, the bridge gives war;
By night the horseman drinks the spray;
The watch logs bark
And the wind blows.
Hark!
The wind blows, the nights grow brief,
The savage forests burst in leaf,
The time of planting conies and goes;
The waters fall, the sniul drifts down;
Suns pass and no man thinks thereon;
llie watchdogs bnji
And the wind blows.
—Dora Bead Goodalt.
A Chapter of Accidents.
"Little things on littlo wings
Bear little souls to heuven."
I.
He wrote, and wrote, and wrote.
Not exactly from "early morn 'till
dewy eve," but from the cricket's first
shriek to tho rattle of the milkman's
equipage. He told first how he loved
her, and, being a slightly sensible man
and thoroughly in earnest, that did not
require much space; but then he had
the story of an old love to explain—
how he had been bewitched by other
smiles, and only escaped their thrall
dom when the fair enchantress had
proved hcr-elf unworthy by marrying
some one else. Moreover—and this
was a difficult point—those chains had
been riveted not before he met the ob
ject of his present devotion, but under
her eye and with her encouragement
as confidant.
He felt keenly the delicacy of this
position, and it is not unlikely that his
brain and pen did also. Then there
was another troublesome point. The
"mighty dollar" had most pertinacious
ly evaded his grasp, and while tha*
fact alone offered brilliant suggestions
for eloquent pictures, viz., "love in a
cottage" and strong, devoted arms, it
shrunk disagreeably when coupled with
the knowledge that Miss Trente was
an heiress.
He sf>ent a large portion of the
night dreaming on this situation re
versed. How glorious to possess every
thing, and say, "All yours, my queen."
But while there was a latent relief
that she never know privation for him.
the waking was bitter, and had his
affection been one iota less, he had
flung his letter into the fire, and his
love as far as possible into Lethe. As
it was, he wrote on, ending in an im
petuous, heartful fashion, thus:
"If you send me away, let it be by eilenoe;
I cannot bear 'No' from your lips."
Then he hastened to sign, seal and
deliver to the corner post.
It was on a deserted corner, and a
gray morning; so perhaps no one saw
that he touched the letter to his lips
—certainly no one knew that he
breathed a prayer toward the tiny
streak of silver that Aurora was push
ing over the eastern chimneys.
Being a sensitive, reserved young
man, he considered this ignorance on
the part of humanity laudable; but if
some kind busybody could have hint
ed another glance at the direction on
that envelope, how doubly grateful he
would have been!
IL
"Stand from under!" She was pass
ing under the scaffold of an unfinished
building three days after the posting
of Mr. Carlton's epistle, when this cry
and an ominous crashing overhead
brought her to a standstill of terror.
She was still undecided which way
to fly, when a figure stepped quickly
from the door-wav near and lifted her
within.
When the crash was over and the
dust clearing, she found her senses suf
ficiently to recognize Jack Carlton.
"This way, Miss Trente. I can in
sure you a safer return," said he, qui
etly, leading the way to the rear en
trance of the house.
Miss Trente gave a shuddering
glance at the still vibrating timbers.
"They would have crushed me to
atoms," she murmured, fearfully.
"I was very fortunate to be in time,"
Carlton said, after a brief pause. "The
house is one of my uncle's, and I hap
pened by with directions from him."
There was a kind of stern repression
about him that Miss Trente noticed
with surprise.
"I hope my silence has not led you
to believe me unappreciative," she
said, hesitatingly, as they reached the
sidewalk. "I am very grateful, Mr.
Carlton, and "
"And sorry, no doubt." Mr. Carlton
interrupted, bitterly. "But compassion
and gratitude are what I never desire
from any woman—least of all from
you, Miss Trente."
The little hand that had sta) ted to
Ill t mlMt Journal
DEININGER &. BUMILIiER, Editors and Proprietors.
VOL. LVII.
ward him returned hastily to its fellow
in the shelter of a dainty muff, and
Miss Trente's pretty brows raised a
triflu with dismay.
"Oh!" she gasped. Then, with gen
tle dignity: "I will not offend so far
again"—and passed on with a slight
bow.
But Jack cried, "Forgive ue!" in a
tone of trouble and contrition, that
stopped her as effectually as an iron
grasp could have done.
"I did not mean that. Forget it,
and say good-by!"
His hand was extended entreating
ly, and hers met it without hesitation.
"Are you going away?" she asked,
gently, wondering at the white shadow
on his face.
"What else?" he said.
Her eyes fell, and her color changed
slightly as she murmured:
"I hoped you would learn to forget."
"In death, perhaps."
She looked up then with quivering
lips and a world of compassion in her
eyes.
"Good-by. You know what that
means ?"
"God be with you."
And she passed on. an expression
mingling with the pity in her face that
puzzled him; for had she not sent him
away ?
It puzzled him so much that he
would have followed her but for the
Hash of her diamond car-rings.
ill.
It was a "nipping and an eager air,"
that almost froze the breath upon one's
lips—a bitter, snowy day in January.
Carlton had taken a horse-car. din
ner-ward bound, and, finding it full,
took his stiind beside the driver.
That farewell blessing of MissTren
te's hail proved a very potent one. In
the year since, "Carlton's luck" had
become a trite phrase among his
friends. His face was a fortune in it
self, they said. Not that he was pe
culiarly handsome, but there was a
light of steadfastness in his eyes, and
firmness of purpose in the curve of his
mouth, that must win, soon or late.
Some said he had changed with his
changing fortune. There was a cer
tain brightness wanting in his glance,
and somehow his read was less cheery,
but he was no less generous or brave,
and only a fractious critic could have
found fault in him as he stood there,
facing the shower of snow-flakes with
strength and good-nature written un
mistakably in face and figure, and a
gleam of compassion in hfs eyes when
they rested on the tired horses or a
thinly-clad passer-by.
"How are all, Mike?" he began, be
stowing a genial smile upon the driver,
whose family history had become fa
miliar to him in his rides to and from
his office.
"Sure, the wife's worse, and two of
the childer have the masles, and there
was only one little creature, a wee
mite, sure, scarcely able to climb into
a chair herself; left to nurse them, and
provisions were scarce, the doctor's
charges terrible," etc., etc. The ad
denda were unusually serious and pa
thetic to-day. Evidently Mike was
"not aisv in his mind."
"Why, you ought to be with them,''
said Jack.
"Ocli, how could I be? I'd lose me
place entirely, sir," said Mike, ruefully.
But Carlton's sympathy aroused; he
never failed in possible service.
"You know me as a friend of your
employers. I will make it all right
with them. Just step off here and go
home," he commanded, peremptorily.
"An' what'll become of the horses?"
. "I'll drive on to the depot and ex.
plain."
"Sure," cried Mike, enthusiastically,
"you're the foinest gentleman 1 iver
see, and if you're not a gineral, ye
oughter be."
"All right," Carlton laughed, slip
ping some coin into his admirer's band.
"Give it to the little ones, with my
love."
That was how it happened that Miss
Trente, taking a car in front of Browne
& Co.'s, found herself face to face with
Jack Carleton.
She stared incredulously as he
flushed, lifted his hat, and then quietly
turned the brake and started bis
horses. ,
"Mr. Carlton, is it possible?"
He gave a silent glance toward the
crowd looking on. The old look of
wondering compassion, mingled with
something else, gleamed on him for a
moment, then she silently passed in
side.
"A delightful position," thought
Jack, rather regretting his quixotism.
Then came the reflection. What did
it matter? What was he to Hecuba,
or Hecuba to him? And he ground
his teeth together savagely, and forgot
to take up any more passengers.
A gentle touch upon his sleeve re
called him suddenly, and he stopped
the car without meeting her eyes.
"I am visiting a friend here. Will
you come this evening?" half-com
mand, half-entreaty; and, before Jack
recovered from his astonishment, she
hud placed a card in his hand and was
gone.
He never remembered how that
drive w;w finished.
Some recollection came of a narrow
escqpe from arrest at the depot, and
he had a vague impression of being
abused by some passengers who seemed
to have passed their destination, and
| threatened by others who resorted to
jumping off while his horses were be
ing urged to their utmost speed.
But he did not uotice anything par
ticularly until darkness found him in
Miss Trente's presence. There was a
certain constraint in her greeting that
troubled him.
After a while she showed him a fa
miliar envelope, saying:
"See, the number is wrong—two in
stead of three; and it did not reach mo
until you were gone, and you left no
address."
His face grew bright as a new brass
preserving-kettle.
"Then you did not send me away,
and you will not now?"
"If you still mean all this"—with a
shy glance at the letter whose eloquence
had been so nearly wasted—"l would
not send you away for the world."
Evidently Jack was sure of his
meaning.
"Even knowing my position?" lie
said, presently, with a queer smile ip
his eyes.
"I cannot bear to think of that," she
cried, eagerly. "Don't go bacK to
thise horrid cars ever again. Indeed,
I cannot bear it. while I have so much,
Jack."
"My dear." cried Jack, with a light
hearted. ringing laugh, "I have been
growing rich, not poor, and now 1 am
the richest man in the world!"
A Brent American.
Henry Cabot Lodge says in the Atlan
tic Monthly; The universal preva
lence of tie colonial spirit is
shown most strongly by one
great exception, just as the flash
of lightning makes us realize the in
tense darkness of a thunder storm at
night. In the midst of the provincial
and barren waste of our intellectual
existence in the eighteenth century
there stands out in sharp relief the
luminous genius of Franklin. It is
true that Franklin was cosmopolitan
in thought, that his name and fame
and achievements in science and litera
ture belonged to mankind; but he was
{dl this because he was genuinely and
intensely American. His audacity,
his fertility, his adaptability, are all
characteristic of America, and not of
an English colony. He moved with
an easy and assured step, with a poise
and balance which nothing could
shake, among the great men of the
world; he stood before kings and
princes and courtiers, unmoved and
unawed. He was strongly averse to
breaking with England; but when the
war came he was the one man who
could go forth and represent to Europe
the new nationality without a touch of
the colonist about him. He met them
all,great ministers and great sovereigns,
on a common ground, as if the colonies
of yesterday had been an independent
nation for generations. His autobiog
raphy is the corner-stone, the first
great work of American literature
The plain, direct style, almost worthy
of Swift, the homely, forcible language,
the humor, the observation, the know
ledge of men, the worldly philosophy
of that remarkable book, are familiar
to all; but its best and, considering its
date, its most extraordinary quality is
its perfect originality. It is Ameri
can in feeling, without any taint of
English colonialism. Look at Frank
lin in the midst of that excellent Penn
sylvanian community; compare him
and his genius with his surrounding,
and you get a better idea of what the
colonial spirit was in America in those
days, anil how thoroughly men were
saturated with it, than in any other
way.
Influence of Iron.
Does the increasing transfer of iron
from the interior to the surface of the
earth, asks Knowledge, exercise any
meteorological influence? Is it in any
marked way influential on electric cur
rents, and tlience does it affect magnet
ic storms? This is a question which
needs a little thought to answer safely.
The development of railways, and the
almost universal substitution of iron
for wood wherever it is practicable to
use that metal, must surely exercise a
decided influence of its own. Every
year more and more of the iron former
ly buried in the earth is spread upon
its surface, and it is surely reasonable
to assume that, electrically at least,
some effect is produced; how far we
may venture, as some seem now dis
posed to do, to translate this into a me
teororical agency is a problem for sci
ence to determine.
MILLHEIM, PA., THURSDAY, MAY 10, 1883.
PEARLS OF THOUGHT.
A good character shines by its own
light.
They that govern most make least
noise.
Life is but short, therefore crosses
cannot be long.
In jealousy there is more love of
self than of any one else.
People do not need to know more
about virtue, but rather practice what
they already know.
If there is any person to whom you
feel a dislike, that is the person of
whom you ought never to speak.
He who can irritate you when he
likes is your master. You had better
turn rebel by learning the virtue of
patience.
Poetry is the blossom and fragrance
of all human knowledge, human
thoughts, human passions, emotions,
language.
Whosoever lends a greedy ear to a
slanderous report is either himself of a
radically bad disposition or a mere
child in sense.
•#
Speak the truth; yield not to anger;
give, when asked, of the little thou
hast; by these three steps thou shalt
go near the gods.
It is little troubles that wear the
heart out It is easier to throw a
bombshell a mile, than a feather—
even with artillery.
Be willing to do good in jour own
way. We need none of us be disturbed
if we cannot wield another's weapons;
but our own must nufrrust.
In misfortune one may know a
friend, in battle a hero, in debt an
honest person, in decaying fortunes a
wife, and kinsmen in affliction.
Let us be careful only of tlie quality
of our work that it lie thorough,
genuine, simple-hearted, the best that
is in us. the best that can come out of
us.
It is neither safe, respectable, nor
wise to bring any Couth to manhood
without a regular .calling. Industry,
like idleness, is a matter of habit.
No idle boy will make an active, in
dustrious and useful man.
Buying a Horse.
The Turf, Field and Farm says
that in buying a horse first look at his
head and eyes for signs of intelligence,
temper, courage and honesty. Unless
a horse has brains you cannot teach
him to do anything well. If bad qual
ities predominate in a horse, education
only serves to enlarge and intensify
them. The head is the indicator of
disposition. A square muzzle, with
large nostrils, evidences an ample
breathing apparatus and lung power
Next, see that he is well and clean cut
under the jowl, with jawbones broad
anil wide apart under the throttle
Breadth and fullness between the ears
anil eyes are always desirable. The
eyes should be full and hazel in color,
ears small and thin anil thrown well
forward. The horse that turns his
ears back every now and then is not to
be trusted. He is either a biter or a
kicker, anil is sure to be vicious in
other respects, and, being naturally
vicious, can never be traiued to any
thing well, and so a horse with a
rounding nose, tapering forehead and
a broad, full face below the eyes is al
ways treacherous and not to be de
pended on. Avoid the long legged,
stilted animal—always choosing one
with a short, straight back arid ruuip>
withers high and shoulders sloping,
well set back and with good depth of
chest, fore legs short, hind leg s
straight, with low down hock, short
pastern joints, and a round, mulish
shaped foot. By observing the above
directions a horse may be selected that
is graceful in bis movements, good
natured and serviceable—one that will
be a prize to the owner.
A few days before Congress ad
journed Senator Harris, of Tennessee,
a rather plain-looking old gentleman,
went into the room of the Senate com
mittee on claims to look up the case of
a Tennessee friend. The clerk of a
Senate committee is always a bigger
man than the chairman, or the presi
dent of the Senate for that matter.
The clerk of this particular committee
had never seen Harris before, and he
did not like the somewhat imperative
way in which Harris asked for inform
ation about his friend's claim. "Are
you the claimant?" he finally asked,
sharply. "No," said Harris, "I am
not." "Are you his attorney?" still
more sharply, "No," said Harris as
quietly as before, "I am not." "Well,
then, what interest have you in the
case?" asked the clerk in the high
key ed-George-Bliss tone. "Oh," not
much," said the senator blandly; "but
the people down there sent me to the
Senate, and as the claimant in this case
is my constituent I thought the best I
could do was to ask about it." For
once the clerk wilted.— Troy Times.
A PAPER FOR THE HOME CIRCLE.
The Clerk Wilted.
BEAUTIFUL CORALS.
What They Are and flow They Ar
Flatted Out.
Coral, as an ornamental stone, was
appreciated centuries before its real
nature was known. At first it was
thought to belong to the mineral king
dom, anil then it was recognized as a
marine plant, the coral beads which
were first brought into Greece being
thought to be berries, which had red"
ilened and hardened by exposure to
the air. It was centuries after its first
discovery that an Italian naturalist
called these supposed flowers or berries
"t'orallium rubrum,"and scientific men
accept this definition as conclusive.
But it was a French doctor at Mar
seilles who found out, not much more
than a hundred years ago, that these
supposed flowers were in reality ani
mals, endowed with the power of vol
untary motion. When, however, he
communicated his discovery to the
French academy of sciences, his name
was concealed, in order to protect him
from the derision that was expected to
follow his declaration—so persuaded
were even the men of science that
corals were merely petrified flowers.
The French doctor, however, was
right. Corals are sea anemones, that
have secreted a calcareous skeleton and
have become compound by budding.
In a living state, the coral branch we
see in commerce is covered with a
leathery coating of a bright red color,
studded with small holes, out of which
protrude white polyps, with eight ten
tacles, looking exactly like flowers,
which deceived the Italian naturalist.
Well, it is these colonies of soft-bodied
zoophytes whicli secrete the lime of
which the valuable stone is composed.
Now. although coral is one of the most
abundant substances in nature—entire
islands and reefs being formed of it in
tropical seas— the particular variety of
red coral is comparatively rare, and is
almost entirely confined to the Medi
terranean sea. It is there found in
reefs, a few miles from the shore, and
at depths varying from one to a hun
dred fathoms. The greatest coral fish"
eries arc thise off Naples. Sicily, Sar
dinia and Algiers.
Almost every year a new bed is
found somewhere along the Italian
coast. A rush is then made to the
spot and the bed is soon exhausted.
The rush used to be so great,
that it frequently took a man-of-war to
keep the fishing fleet in order. Now,
however all this is changed; for, by the
new fisheries act, the discoverer of a
new coral bank has the exclusive right
to fish on it for two years. The value
of these banks may be estimated at an
average yearly rate of eight thousand
tons of coral, rendering several millions
of pounds sterling! "The coral fisheries
off Algiers are under the control of the
French government, which exacts
heavy duties for the right of fishing;
and in order to prevent the exhaustion
of this fishery the reefs are divided
into ten portions, ten years being the
time which the coral is supposed to
take in order to reach its full growth;
thus, by fishing only one of these
divisions at a time, provision is made
for an uninterrupted fishery.
Medical Curiosities.
Dr. F. C. Valentine, who for several
years practiced medicine in Central
America, has written of the " medical
curiosities" of tho home practice in
that country. Many of their resorts
are curious and amusing, such as the
administration of frog soup for all
skin diseases, but several are worth
worth quoting because they are proba
bly useful suggestions for anyone, as
follows :
Marshmallow leaves are largely used
in poultices and for painful hemor
rhoids.
A tea of chamomile flowers is con
sidered tonic and useful in indigestion,
and when hot in colic, whether stom
achic or uterine.
Three ounces of flaxseed in two
quarts of water, reduced by boiling to
one quart, with an ounce of manna
and the juice of a sweet orange, pro
vides a drink in cases of dysentery,
which Dr. V. holds fast to, having
proved it to be good — Dr. Footers
Health Monthly.
King Alcohol's Way.
A young man by the name of Mur
phy, living in London, went home the
other night, and instead of finding a
warm welcome and hot supper, he
found his mother stone dead on the
floor, with her head firmly wedged in a
tin saucepan. She was in liquor when
her son left her, and the medical evi
dence went to show that she had
pitched forward upon the floor and
driven her head into the saucepan so
securely that she could not extricate it,
and had consequently died of suffoca
tion. Since the dawn of creation the
king of terrors has wielded an infinite
variety of weapons, but probably
never before confronted his victim
with a saucepan.
Terms, SI.OO Per Year In Advance •
The Story of the Old Settler From Away
Back In Flke County, Penn
"We heerd that Phil Boyer, whc
lived six mile back on the ridge, Avert
goin' to beef a steer o' his'n, which
were a little too obstreperous to be
handled for Avork. Ez none of us bad
ever heerd of a beeiin' bee, we ruther
cyJc'Jated ez 'twere 'bout time to get
one up, an' so we jest throw'd"together
a high ole party, an' started to give
Phil a s'prise.
"For a mile or so 'fore we got tc
Phil's we heerd a fearful yellin' and
hoAvlin', but Ave thort 'twere only a
cattymount singin' over in the swamp
an' we hedn't time to think about a
little thing like that. The moon were
bigger'n a washtub, an' we could see
jest tbout ez well ez if the sun were
shinin*. It were colder than Greenlan'.
The howlin' an' hollerin' got louder ez
we got nigher to Phil's, an' when Ave
struck his an* come
up to the house, we see a sight that
jest nigh on to killed us a laugliin'.
Thar were Phil on the roof o' the
cabin, straddle o' the ridge pole, a yell
in', 'Help! help!' ez if some one Avere
butcher in' on him. A prancin' an'
bellerin' round the cabin, fust on one
side an' then on t'other, were the
steer, a pawin' the snoAv wus nor if a
nor'easter were gettin' in its work on
a drift, an' actin' ez if 'twere havin'
more'n a barrel o' fun, an' 'twant cost
in' of him a cent. It Avere a funny
sight, an Ave jest howled.'
" 'What a' ye doin' up thar, Phil ?'
we hollered. 'An' how'd ye git uu
thar ?'
•'Lord, but want he. bilin' mad?
" 'I dumb up the chimbly, o' course,
ye dodblasted galoots,' said he. 'lt
was so blamed hot in the cabin that 1
dumb up yer to git cool!'
" 'Come down. Phil. We've come to
give ye a s'prise. We thort ye was
goin'ter beef yer steer to-day. Ain't
ye goin' ter beef it?'
" 'Do ye see or hear anything o' that
steer, consarn ye!' said he. 'An' can't
ye see it's only a quastion whether I'm
;igoin' to beef that steer or whether
it'll beef me? and the odds hez al
been in favor o' the steer all day. The
infernal critter gen'ly boosted me
onter this ridge pole at 10 o'clock this
mornin', an' I've been yer l'reezin' an'
yellin' fur help ever sense. My ole
woman an' the youn* uns is locked in
the cabin, an' I've seen em try twice to
git out to the wood pile, but that steer
has took good keer that they didn't, an'
ez I haint heerd nothin' on em sence I,
reckon tbey'm cither freze to death or
gone to bed to keen Avarm. That steer
hez been havin' the properest kind of
a Fourth o' July celebration all day,
an' if some o' you fellers can git away
with hira yo kin send for the cor'ner,
fur I'll be froze stiffer'n a Cliris'mas
gooae 'foro mornin.'"
"So we hed to tackle the steer. By
pluggin' it full o' pistol balls, an,
poundin' it on the head with an ax
for half an hour or so, wc sp'ilt his
little fun. Then Ave goi Phil down*
an' thaAved him out.
"Well, we had a high ole time at
Phil's that night,' continued the
ranger. "The ole 'cornan an' the
young uns bail gone to bod to keep
warm, sure enough, but we soon hed
'cm in good shape. An' that beefin'
Ice closed the season."
If you could see a piece of your skin
through a microscope you would see
long lines of ridges and hollows that
look more like pi • wed ground than
anything that I e*n think of. The
ridges are dividco Into little conical
elevations in which a nerve terminates
or else passes around it; and here lies
the sense of touch. In the hollows are
the pores that are the open
ings of the sweat ducts. What are
these, do you ask? Well, they are
minute tubes which, straightened out,
would be about a quarter of an inch
long, that start in the tissue beneath
the derma and wind spirally up through
the skin until the upper sur
face is reached where its open end ter
minates. The other end is twisted in
to a sort of knot which is contained in
a little sac, and this is surrounded by
blood vessels.
The number of these little sweat
ducts or glands is astonishing. It is
estimated that in every square inch of
skin there are at least 2800, and, as in
a person of ordinary size there are
2500 square inches of surface, these
glands count up 7,000,000. Only
think of it—7,000,000 pores to keep
open through a whole lifetime! If
these tubes were put together end to
end there would be one long canal of
about tfventy-eight miles. How is
that for a system of sewage?— Toledo
Blade.
The Edinburgh Medical Journal en
leavors to show that baldness is prob
ably contagious,
NO. 19.
REEFING A STEER.
The Uuiuan Skin.
NEWSPAPER LAWS.
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Sowing ana Reaping*
Sow with a generous bund,
Pause not for toil or pain;
Weary not through the heat of summer,
Weary not through the cold spring rain;
but wait till the autumn comes
Fur the sheaves of golden grain.
Scatter the seed and lenr not,
A table will bespread;
Wbut matter if you are too weary
To eat your hard-earned bread;
Sow while the earth is broken,
For the hungiy must be fed.
Soto while the seeds are lying
In the warm earth's bosom deep, •- *
And your warm teats fall upon it—
' They will stir in quiet sleep;
And the green blades rise the quicker,
Perchance for the teats you weep,
Then sow lor the hours are fleeting,
And the seed must fall to-day;
And care not what hands shall reap it,
Or if you shall have pass'd awsy
before the waving cotn-fields
Shall gladden the sunny day.
Sow, and look onward, upward,
AVere the starry light appears—
Where, in spite of the coward's doubtiar,
Or your own heart's trembling feats,
You shall reap in joy the harvest
You have sown to-day in tears.
—Adelaide A. Proctor.
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
A tine fellow—The judge.
Agricultural item—Never cultivate
an acquaintance with a "rake."
A man in the hands of a drunken
barber should be glad when he gets
out of the tight scrape.
A new song is entitled. "We Never
Speak As We Pass By." Probably
they are both courting the same girl.
"Let every man add a good name to
his other capital," quoted the forger
when he fixed up a ten-thousand-dollar
i check.
It is said that inhaling the fumes of
j sulphur cures catarrh. The course
that many people pursue in this life
gives promise that they won't be
afflicted with catarrh in the next.
' A gentleman had his boots blacked .
by one of tAvo boys and gave the
j shiner a two-dollar bill to get changed.
After waiting some time he said to
j the other boy, "Where's your partner r"
j "Oh," said the youth with a grin,
"he's bust up, and I'm his assignee."
Travelers in Canada have not failed
of noticing the number of shop
keepers, frem chow-chow builders to
undertakers, that are purveyors to the
royal family; but it remained -Tor a
Dundas barber to fling to the breeze a
I gayly-bedizened banner with the awful
device: "The Queen's Barber Shop."
There are sixty-six thousand locomo
itives in the world. And yet, when
you have waited for a train at some
i desolate way station for five hours you
wouldn't believe there were half so
many. Sixty-six thousand! And still
a man can miss a train as easily as
though there was only one engine on
the whole continent.
( "Which is the deejest, the longest,
j the broadest and the smallest grave in
this church-yard ?" said a pedestrian
to his companions, while meditating
among the tombs in a cemetery.
"Why," Avas the ansAver, "it is that in
which Miles Button is buried, for it is
Miles below the sod, Miles in length,
Miles in breadth, and yet after all it is
but a Button-hole."
1 _______________
Troubled.
" Dearest, sweetest, what is itV Are
you sick? What ails my precious
pet?" and the young husband bent
tenderly over the graceful form
of hi 3 blushing bride.
" Oh, Adolphus Edward, its too
dreadful for anything."
"Bad news from home?"
"Worse, Avorse! Oh, what shall I
do?"
" Tell your own darling hubby."
" It's that awful Selina Tarbox,
she's—"
" She's what, my precious ?"
"She's got a bonnet trimmed exact
ly like mine, and tomorrow's Sun
day !"
Then the afflicted beauty buried her
face in her husband's breast and trick
led her pearly tears all over his three
dollar shirt.— Chicago Eye.
The Oyster.
In a communication to the Philadel
phia Medical and Surgical Journal.Dr.
Charles L. Dana, of New York, points
out some prevalent errors concerning
oysters. It has been said that the oys
ter, on account of its hepatic diastase,
has the poAver of digesting itself. 11l
a series of experiments, Dr. Dana has
given the mollusk some excellent oppor
tunities of doing so, but it declines to
digest even its own liver. As to the
superior digestibility of raw oysters
over cooked, it was found that when
boiled for a short time, or roasted in
the shell, they were nearly if not quite
as rapidly dissolved as the raw,
Cooking, in fact, loosened the muscu
lar fibrils, thus allowing the peptic
juices to penetrate,