PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY IN MUSSER'S BUIT.DINa, Corner of >lin nnd Penn Sts., at SI.OO PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE; Or $1.25 If not paid in adwmoe. Acceptable Correspondence Solicited. yT"Address all letters to " MILLHEIM JOURNAL." Fimc. \h, Fate, cannot a man ltc wiso without a Leatd? c rom East to West, from Bccrsheba to Dan, Say, was it iv ver hoard that wisdom urg'it in youth be gotte^ Or n it bo ripe belore 'twas rotten? lie pays tco high a pr'co For knowledge and for tamo Who give* his sinews to be n ise, His teeth and bones to buy a name, And crnwls through lite a paralytio, To earn the pr .ise of bard and crili^ Is it not better done, To dine and s'ecp through forty Re loved by few, be teared by now Laugh lite away, have wine for ted And take the mortal leap undaunted, Conteut that all wo ask wa9 granted? Rut Fate trill n >t petmit The seed of goda to die, Nor sutler sees to win from wit Its guerdon i i tho sky; Nor lit us hide, tvhate'er our pleasure Tho world's light underneath a measure. Go then, sad youth, and shine! Go, s c.rifico to Fame; Put love, joy, heal 1, upon the shrine. An 1 hid to tan tho flame! Thy lmplcs* self for praises barter, Aud die to Fame an h. noiol martyr. Ji. IF. Emerton. m . ... Jsi The Doctor's Experience. "If you please, uncle," said Nanny Juniper, "1 would like to speak to you." Old Doctor Juniper dropped his newspaper in dismay; the spectacles fell limply off his nose. "You don't mean to tell me," said he, 4 that them cider-bar 'ls sprung a leak ag'in!" "No, uncle," said Nannie, nervously, pleating the frill of her apron, and changing color as she spoke. "Then the red cow is got astray," groaned the doctor. "It does beat all how careless the neighbors are about their bars." "The red cow is all right, uncle," said Nanny. "It's about myself that I wanted to speak." Doctor Juniper drew a long breath of relief. "Oh!" said he, "about yourself? Well, if it is a new dress, you've had two already since Thanksgiving Day; and if you want to take lessons of the wax-flower woman, I think it's all stuff and nonsense. So there! Just hand me up the paper, Nanny, there's a good girl, and see what a nice blue berry dumpling you'll make me for dinner." "Uncle," persisted Nanny. "I don't think you understand. I—l am not satisfied!" "Not satisfied?" repeated the doctor, opening his small, blue eyes to their utmost capacity. "I should like you to pay me wages," went on Nanny; "because, uncle, — don't you see?—l'm doing all the work of the house, and saving you the ex pense of a hired girl, and I haven't a penny that I can call my own; and if it's ever so small an allowance, uncle, don't you see that it would save me the mortification of oming to you for ev ery yard of tape and paper of needles that I want ?" "Nonsense!" roared the doctor. "I shouldn't ask for it, uncle, if I didn't feel I deserved it," pleaded Nan ny. "Rubbish!" said her uncle. "Six dollars a month isn't such a great deal of money," urged Nanny. "And 1 have lived here eight years al ready for nothing, you know." "For nothing, eh?" said Doctor Ju niper, severely. "I s'pose your board and lodging don't count; nor yet your clothes. Ah, the parson was right when he preached, last Sunday week, about the rank ingratitude of the hu man race. There never was anything like it—never!" "Of course I'm very much obliged for all that you have done for me, un cle," said Nanny, "But I'm two-and twenty now, and I really feel that I can earn a little money of my own. And if you think six dollars is too much, I shall.be very thankful for five." "Ah, indeed!" said Doctor Juniper, satirically. "Quite moderate, I'm sure! But, you see, our ideas don't ezackly agree. If you ain't satisfied with things as they be, you're welcome to better yourself." "Uncle!" cried Nanny, hei ... a eyes brimming over with tears. "What I say I mean," said Doctor Juniper, resuming the study of his newspaper. "And now I'd like the chance to read a spell afore I go out into the maple-pasture." And, surreptitiously eyeing her de parting figure over the rims of his glasses, the old man chuckled to him self: "I calc'late I've settled that busi ness. Wages, indeed! Times has come to a pretty pass, when my own niece wants wages for doing my house work." Ai for Nanny, she went quietly into the kitchen, where the prepared the Cite llillhiim Journal DEININGER A BUMILLER, Editors and Proprietors. VOL. LVII. fowl for roasting, made a little broad sauce for it, coneocU'd her uncle's favo rite blueberry-pudding, and then re treated up stairs, where she packed the little trunk, which had once be longed to her mother, and whoso sur face was decorated with "A. J."—for Antoinetta Juniper—in brass nails. "I can't live so!" said Nanny. "My boots are all patches, and Uncle Juni per thinks two pairs a year are enough for anybody. My dresses aren't tit to be seen, and Uncle Juniper is always saying that his mother's calico dresses lasted year after year. I can't even put a five-cent-piece in the contribu tion-plate at church, without Uncle Juniper's accusing me of extravagance. If he won't pay me the wages which 1 am sure 1 earn, I will go down to the Lake View House and help Mrs- Danesbury make pies and puddings for her boarders. She told me, long ago, that she would give mo ten dol lars a month, during tho busy season, to assist her." Doctor Juniper relished his roast chicken and blueberry-pudding as only an elderly gourmand can relish the ap petizing edibles of this world. Xannv sat opposite him. looking rather distraite and thoughtful. And when he had sopped up the last of his pudding-sauce with a piece of bread, wiped his mouth, and folded up his naokin, she spoke out: Dnele, I'm going away to-morrow " "Be you?" said Doctor Juniper. "To earn my own living," said Nan ny. "Ilumph!" commented Doctor Juni per. "Well, suit yourself—suit your self!" "Mrs. Danesbury is going to pay me ten dollars a month," explained Nanny. "But I'd rather stay with you at half the price, if—" •Til see you—further!" said Doctor Juniper. " I won't pay you a red cent!" "Very well, uncle," said Nanny. And so she went away. "She needn't think she's going to wind me around her little finger," said Doctor Juniper. "I can get plenty of housekeepers for less money that that. And I won't be imposed upon!" The doctor got his own breakfast the next morning. It wasn't so easy as he had supposed it would be. The fire smoked and sulked, the coffee-pot tipped over, the fish was scorched, and the eggs overboiled. "Hang it all!" said the doctor. "Things don't taste right anyhow. There must be a knack in cooking, after all." He left the unwashed dishes on the table, saddled the roan horse, and set off immediately after he had swallowed the last drop of the flavorless coffee, in search of "help." The Widow Keene was all smiles when he stopped at her little red cot tage. "So Nanny has gone, has she?" said the widow. "Wal, there ain't no de pendence to be put on gals. And you feel the need of a real helpful com panion? I did say, when I buried Keene, that nothin' should induce me to marry again, but—" The doctor reined up Old Roan so suddenly that that meditative steed jumped off all four legs at once. "Hold on!" said he. "I wasn't talkin' of matrimony. I ain't a marryin' man. All I want is hired help!" "Do you mean to. insult me?" said Widow Keene. And she slammed the door in his face, and Doctor Juniper roile on, much marveling at the narrow escape he had had. "IH try Miss Mahala Dickerman," he concluded. "She ain't a widow. Widows are naturally sly and tricky." Miss Mahala Dickerman was more reasonable. Yes, she would come. But she required her Sundays to her- self, every Wednesday afternoon, the use of a horse and wagon to take her to church, and fourteen dollars a month. "But what is to become of me on Sunday?" Doctor Juniper ventured to inquire. Miss Mahala didn't know. She had her soul to look after—that was very certain. And she couldn't reconcile his Sunday business to her conscience. So Doctor Juniper rode away once more, solemnly shaking his head. "What's come to all the women ?" said the doctor. Betsey Crowe was the next person on whom he called—a sharp-nosed gossip, with a high, shrill voice, and spectacled eyes. "I think I kin suit ye, doctor," said Miss'Crowe. "I've lived housekeeper to several families. My terms is twelve dollars a month and the privileges of a home, and a young gal under me. Her wages will be four dollars extra." Doctor Juniper grew a tallowy white, 4< D you s'poae J'm made of money ?" •aid he, "Them's my terms," said Mis Crowe, "and I wouldn't vary from 'oin, not for the president of the United States!" "There's an end of tho matter, then," said Doctor Juniper. "Just as you please," said Betsey Crowe, tartly. Louisa Henley would not undertake the place unless her mother and eleven \ears-old brother could come as com pany for her. Mrs. Cackle expected the washing to be put out, and a clean ing woman engaged for every Satur day. Maria Michel* hinted at the privilege of filling tho vacant rooms of the house with summer boarders. And the upshot of it all was that Doc tor Juniper came home in desperation, without any help whatsoever. lie telegraphed to his cousin, an ancient female, somewhere on the edge of the Adirondacks, to come to tho rescue. She came. But she was sub ject to the rheumatism, to epileptic fits, and to an undue fondness for the brandy-bottle, and at the end of a month, Doctor Juniper was glad to ship her off to a "Home for Aged Women" in New York. And then, subdued by much discipline, he walked down to Mrs. Danesbury's and asked to see Nanny. Nanny came in, all smiles and dimples. "Really," said the doctor, to himself, "1 hadn't an idea the girl was so pretty!" She welcomed her uncle with tho most affectionate of kisses. "Nanny," said he, "you were right, and I was wrong. I'm sorry I ever let you go away. If you'll eeiue back to the old farm, I'll pay you ten dollars a ' month and be thankful to you " "Oh, uncle, I tan't!" said Nanny, laughing and blushing. "I'\e proni- ised to marry Hugh Danesbury." Doctor Juniper's face fell. "Hugh Danesbury!" said he. "That's the young fellow that works at the mill, ain't it?" "Yes, uncle," said Nanny. "Then come, both of you," said Doc tor Juniper. "Hugh shall run tho ! farm on shares, and I'll pay you ten dollars, just the same. 1 can't live as I've been livin'. I'd sooner take laud- anum!" So tho young people were married, and came to Juniper farm to live. "And uncle's a deal easier to get along with than ever he was before!" said Nanny. , For Doctor Juniper had profited from his experience.— Helen F>i tsL (Jracts. PEARLS OF THOUGHT. Jealousy is a secret avowal of our in feriority. The only rose without thorns is friendship. We ought not to judge of man's merits by his qualifications but by the use he makes of them. Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us, or we find it not. Bashfulness may sometimes exclude ; pleasure, but seldom or ever opens any avenue for sorrow or remorse. Attrition is to the stone what good influence is to the man. Both polish while thev reveal hidden beauties. I * Cares are often more difficult to throw off than sorrows; the latter die { with time, the former grow upon it. The leader will fail who acts on the counsel of those whoso intelligence and means of information is inferior to his own. Zealous men are ever displaying to. you the strength of their belief, while; : judicious men are showing you the' grounds of it. There is a wonderful vigor of con stitution in a popular fallacy. When the world has once got hold of a lie, it is astonishing how hard it is to get it , out of the world. If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of) the world, and that his heart is no island cut off from other hearts, but a continent that joins them. There are few men who, were they, certain of death on their seventieth, birthday, would think of preparation. To-morrow may be the gate of an eter nity, and they go on in their folly. I He Had Confidence In Gypsies. A band of gypsies camped in Mis souri. A farmer in the neighborhood was painfully twisted by rheumatism and they straightened him out with mysterious lotions and ceremonies. This won his confidence. They told him that a large sum of money was buried on his farm, but they did not know exactly where. Their instruc tions were to bury all the cash he had i for eight days, and then dig it up, whereupon the place of the concealed treasure w T ould be revealed. He obeyed, and at the end of the pre scribed time his SSOOO and the gypsies were gone. MILLHEIM, PA., THURSDAY, APRILS, 1883. A PAPER FOR THE HOME CIRCLE. CLIPPINGS FOR THE CURIOUS. About seven centuries before the christian era Southern Italy was so thickly set with Grecian cities as to be known as Magna Griecio. There is a creek several miles from Waynesboro, (hi., which is so highly impregnated with lime that it will take the hair off a horse's legs in pass ing through it. The silver ore of the Nevada mines is so intimately associated with leal that nearly one-half of the miners who handle it become afflicted sooner or later with wrist drop, palsy, or half paralysis. Mr Edward Atkinson says it would require 16,000,000 persons, using the spinning wheel and hand loom of loss than a century ago, to make the cottcn cloth used by our j>eople, which is now manufactured by 160,000. Among tho Chinese no relics aro more valuable than tho boots that have been worn by a magistrate. If he re signs and leaves the city a crowd ac companies him to the gates, where his boots are drawn off with great ceremo ny, to la) preserved in tho hall of justice. A Tennessee doctor has a curious Indian relic. It is a ring, made of pure silver nicely engraved and weighs twenty-three pennyweights, and, con sidering tho primitive tools with which the Indians must have worked, tho engraving is said to be remarkably well done. The general design, although smaller in circumference, resembles in a marked degree the bracelets most in favor with the socie ty belles of to-day. Tho slaughter of a plow ox is pro- hibited by law in China, anil a viola tion of the law is punished by two months' imprisonment and 100 blows of tho heavy bamboo; except in cases where the offender is the owner of the animal, when the imprisonment is one month and the number of blows eighty. Mandarins who fail to take notice of such offences are also pun ished. The ox is thus honored above other beasts because he is annually offered to Confucius; and because of his services to man in plowing and the entire dependence of the husbandman on him, man should refrain from doing him harm. It is related in 7>r. Font's Health Monthly that Paul Bert saw at Geneva a curious specimen of humani- Tv that would bo worth a fortune to a Bowery museum or a travelling show. It was a child live years old, or some what more than one child, for it had two heads, two chests and four arms, but only one abdomen and ono pair of legs, tho fusion of the two bodies into one occurring at about the waist. Each head has control of the leg on its own side. The two faces are much alike, and tho two intellects already understand several languages. The food which one takes does not satisfy the hunger of the other, and they eat and sleep alternately. One has had a fever without the other being ill. A New York restaurateur being asked why it is considered so difficult to eat two or even one quail a day for thirty days, replied, "Because the human stomach is an intelligent and sensitive member of society. If you were to feed it every day for thirty days on a pound or two of sawdust, you would not wonder if it rebelled, would you? No. Well, quail and the white meat of all birds is very much like sawdust. It's dry; it's indigesti ble. It lies there on the stomach, and of course the stomach doesn't like it, and when you want to add more to it the stomach is very apt to rebel and make you sick. You may try to coax that important functionary with bribes of pepsin and that sort of thing, but there is a limit to even that. 80 you see why quail won't do for a steady diet." A Minstrel's Conversion. "Senator Dob Ilart," tho negro minstrel, used to be a great favorite in the West. His stump speeches and his excruciating Latin were his chief stock in trade, but they were enough to give him a better income than half the professional men get. Well, a couple of years ago, when he was almost dead with delirium tremens, he staggered into a revival meeting and was converted, and since theD he has been known sis the Rev. J. M. Sutherland and a more con sistent, earnest Christian exhorter never lived, lie has for nearly two years been in the employ of the City Missionary society, which pays him S2O a week, on which he supports his wife and daughter. Chicagoans can remember Avhen Bob Hart got S3OO a week during an entire season in that city. He works among the poor people, i.-id preaches several times a week and twice on Sundays. He hasn't touched a drop of liquor since the night from which he dates hi# conversion. — Clwtland Sun* CENSUS YITAL STATIST!! S. A Tmr'i Deaths In the L'nlted Ntates.- Th lauiri of Denth, and Other lutare.tliiK Facia. An article in the New York Sun says that according to the last census, 75G.893 persons died in the United States during 1880. The death rate for tho whole Union was therefore 15.1 to the thousand. That is a low rate, and yet it was much higher than that given in 1870, which was only 12.8 per thousand, while the death rate according to the census of 1800 was 12.5. But the apparent increase in 1880 was due entirely to inore complete returns of deaths, and even the figures for that year cannot be regarded as accurate. Except in a comparatively small number of communities, vital statistics are not gathered in the United States after a scientific system. The actual mortality of the Union is probably somewhere between eighteen and nineteen per thousand, instead of a little over fifteen. But that is a low rate as compared with European countries, the death rate for the whole of England having been 20.5 per thousand in 1880, and for Scotland, 21.3 in 1878. Of the 750,893 deaths recorded in the census returns 040,191 were of whites, out of a total white popula tion of 43,402,970, and 116,702 of negroes, out of a total colored popu lation of 6,752,813. Tho apparent death rate, therefore,was 14.74 among the whites, and 17.28 among the negroes. Of the deaths re]>orted 391,960 were of males and 364,933 of females, the total living population having been 25,518,820 males and 24,036,903 females. For every thousand deaths of females there were 1,074 of males. The proportion of males dying in infancy was also greater than that of females. Of the 390,644 males who died 163,880 were under five years of age, while of the 303,874 females who died 138,920 were under five years; that is, the proportion of deaths under five years of age to all deaths recorded was 419.51 per thousand among males, while among females it was only 381.85. Nearly half tho male mor tality was among very young children. The causes of death were reported in only 733,810 case.*, and the follow ing table gives the number of deaths from each of the ten principal causes: Consnmption .... - 91,551 Diphtheria ------- 38,398 Di&t r* cp il diseases ... - 65,565 DiMiam of nervous system - - BJ. 670 Dis a*os of re-pimtory system - 107,904 fiitmsmofiligeiiiToiT'lom • - 34,094 Enteric (•>phoiil) fever - - - 22.90) M cades 8.772 Bcnrlet fever - • - - - - 16 416 Whooping cough ... - - 11,202 Consumption was, as always, the great scourge, and it carried off a con siderably larger proportion of females than of males, the deaths from that cause being 40,619 males to 50,932 fe males. It is very instructive to ob serve that the mortality from consump tion in the North Atlantic and Lake regions was highest in the small towns and agricultural districts, while on the Gulf coast it was greatest in the city of New Orleans, with its wretched sewerage and drainage system. Enteric or typhoid fever is also more especially a disease of the country rather than the city. Tho better drainage which ordinarily prevails in the largo towns makes them less liable to that fever than the smaller com munities and scattered settlements, where necessary precautions aga'nst the pollution of the water supply are not generally taken, and accumulations of filth in vaults and cesspools are common. Malarial fevers likewise were more prevalent and more fat;^ proportionately in the smaller com munities than in the great cities. Tho same was tho case with diphtheria. The report of the number of deaths due to accidents and injuries is inter" esting: Burns and scalds • • • • 4,786 Drowned 4,320 Exposnro and neglect - - - - 1,299 Gunshot wounds 2,289 Homicide -------- 1,336 I'ilitnticide -------- Injuries by machinery - - - - 120 Kiilroud accidents ----- 2 349 Suffocation 2,339 Suicide by shooting ----- 472 S licido by drowning - - - - 155 Suicide by poison ----- 340 Other suicides ------ 1,550 Sunstroke - -- -- -- - 557 Oiber accidents and injuries - - 13,980 Brevity. Few writers know when to stop writing; they say too much. Martin Luther closed his speech before the diet of Worms with these words: "Here I stand. I cannot do otherwise. God help me. Amen." Suppose he had said: "The position which I at present occupy I shall continue to maintain.' The latter is grammatically correct. You can praise it, but literary art con demns it as we.ak and unworthy. Go back to the Old Testament "Let there be light and there was light." Beyond the naked grandeur of these words art cannot go. And, in fact, brevity is an art— and one worth cultj* Yftting, too, Terms, SIOO Per Year in Advance. THE FAMILY DOCTOR. The Use and Abase of nothing. Dr. Dudley A. Sargent, nicdic.il dl rector of the Boston Union gymnasi um, gave in one of his talks on physi cal training, general rules for bathing as follows: "A warm bath, with libera use of Castile soap is best for cleanli ness, and night the best time. Twice a week is often enough. Too frequent warm baths debilitate the system. A cool sponge or wet cloth bath should be taken daily for its tonic effect and always in a warm room. If strong and vigorous, the best time is the morning; if not strong, the cold bath had better be omitted and the tepid substituted. After exercise, if greatly fatigued, take no bath, but rub down vigorously with a dry towel If thor oughly warmed up, but not tired, take a tepid sponge bath standing. Never take a tub bath, except when bathing for cleanliness. A warm shower bath followed by a cool sprinkling is prefer able to a cold bath after exercise. Vigorous exercise renders Turkish and hot baths unnecessary; those should be reserved for medical cases. Skin disorders are frequently caused by ex cessive bathing and the use of too much soap. Although general rules for battling could be given, every man must be guided by his own physical condition and his occupation." Colds HI ore Fatal than PUKQM. Dr. F. H. Bosworth in a lecture on "Colds and their Consequences," given in New York, said: Neglected colds, if we could trace them through all their insidious influ ences to their ultimate result, have been responsible for a far greater loss of life than has been caused by any of the terrible scourges which, in the form of epidemics, have decimated continents, carried terror and dismay throughout whole states and have called forth the active sympathy and generous charities of a continent. This may seem a somewhat startling statement, that this simple cold should outweigh in its consequences the mortality of those terrible visitations before which the bravest heart uncon sciously shudders; and yet I believe it is no overdrawn picture, no exaggera tion. One neglected cold follows upon another, each recurring with increased frequency, the parts involved approach ing nearer to the vital organs, and fimilly some latent tendency is devel oped, some constitutional weakness makes itself manifest. It does not strike its victims with the sudden blow of the scourge, but working its ill effects through months, and perhaps years, still strikes with a no less certain aim in the one case than in the other. I do not come before you as an alarm ist, nor do I intend to draw an exag gerated picture, yet that it is a true one I think cannot be questioned. That we survive colds and moreover main tain our health, is not an extremely difficult matter. It depends in a large part on certain common sense in mat ters of personal hygiene. Perhaps in these none is so important as the pro per regulation of the clothing If we press the abdomenen of the Dee wasp, so as to cause the sting to protude, it is but natural to think that the sharp, dark-colored instrument was the sting itself. This, however, is not the case. The real sting is a very slender instrument, and armed on one edge with a row of barbs.S:> exactly does the sting resemble the many-barbed ar. row of certain savage tribes that, if the savages had possessed microscopes, we should certainly liavo conjectured that they borrowed the idea of the barb from the insect. What we see with the un aided eye is simply the sheath of the sting. Many savages poisol their arrows and spears, and here also they have been anticipated by the insect. But the sting is infinitely superior to the arrow poison. No poison that has yet been made, not even the terrible wourali, or curare, as it is sometimes called, oan retain its strength after long exposure to air. The upas poison of Borneo, for example, loses its poten cy in two or three hours. But the venom of the sting is never exposed to the air at all. It is secreted by two long, thread-like glands, not nearly so thick as a human hair, and is then re ceived into a little bag at the base of the sting. When the insect uses its weapon it contracts the abdomen, thereby forcing the sting out and com pressing the venom-bag. By the force of the stroke which drives the sting into the foe its base is pressed against the venom-bag and a, small amount of the poison driven into the wound. As a rule, if the bee or wasp be allowed to remain quiet, it will withdraw its sting, but as the pain generally causes a sud den jerk, the barbed weapon cannot be withdrawn, and the whole apparatus of sting, poison-bag, and glands, is torn out of the insect, thereby causing .ifa faatb,— 'Oood Wry& NO. 14. The Bee's Sting. I _____ ADVERTISING RATBB: 1 wk. 1 mo. jftmo*. | 1 1 iqniM SI 00 $ 300 t >: $ 4 00 $ SOO column 100 4001 00 I 10 00 WOO 5 column 000 800 I IS 00 1 30 00 00 ' ontamn • *°P 001 <W I *o° 00 0* linn inch make. n square. Administrator* and K*. .cntom' Notions s3.to. Transient advartiMmanta and local. 10 cant* per Una foe flrat intartiou and I oanta par lin a lor aach additional inaartior.. NEWSPAPER LAWS. If subscriber* order the discontinuation of newspapers, the publishers may ocntanue to send them until all Arrearages are paid. If subscriber* refuse or neglect to take their newspapers from the office to which they are sent, they are held responsible until they bsve settled the bills and ordered them dis continued. 2 If subscribers move to other places with- I out informing the publisher, and the news- Sapers are sent to the former place of resi enos, they are then responsible. Alone. The unn shines ont across the sea, The old church bell chimes merrily. But the maiden sighs in misery, And wanders sad and lone; For he has gone, her lover true, Acrots the ocean, wide and blue- Now fall her tears like evening dew, And thus she makes her moan: My love has gone! Ah, well a day! My heart is steeped in misery! And must it now be thus tor aye? Ah, woo! Ah, woe is mol The breakers on the sounding shore Are leaping high with ceaseless roar, And the maiden watches by her door With sad and anxious eye. The white foam falls around her there, And flecks with snow her raven hair, But still ahe watches in despair • And murmurs with a sigh: My love has gone! Ah, well a-day! My braut is filled villi misery! And must it now be thus for aye? Ah, woe! Ah, woe is me! The dnrk clouds drive across the skies, She sec. the moon among them rise; High on the sands her lover lies, He ne'er will pt-ak again! She kneels beside him All alone, Above the wild winds sigh and moan, But the msiden's heart is turned to stone, For now all hope is vain. My love is dead! Ah, well-a-dsy! My heart is steeped in misery; And it must now be thus lor aye, Ah, woe! Ah, woe is me!" (Jgilvie Mitchell. FCSGENT PARAGRAPHS. Trousers cover a multitude of shins! Cannot law vers be termed fee-males? A wife may be a blessing, but a dumb wife is an unspeakable one. It is a terrible shock to one's feel ings, after singing "Salvation's Free," to hear the announcement that "the collection will now be taken." The question is asked us, If there is anything that will bring youth to wo men? Yes, indeed. An income of say $20,000 will bring any number of them. A man who has happened to have a good deal of experience says: "Stand anywhere but for four feet to the left of a woman when she hurls a bottle at a hen." "Mr. Jones," asked Smith of the par son, "don't you think the wicked will have an opportunity given them in the next world?" "Yes, certainly," re plied the parson, "an excellent oppor tunity to get warm. * An agricultural journal recently published a long article on "Sheep Husbandry," but it didn't say anything about the man who continually com pliments his wife, although he is most assuredly a she-praiser. "If your boarding-house should take fire at night what would you do to get the people out ?" asked the fire mar dial of an experienced matron. "Oh, there would be no trouble about that," was the reply; "I would just ring the breakfast bell, and all the boarders would be in the dining-room in three minutes." It is said that the Emperor of Rus sia "chops wood for exercise." This gives his wife more time to gossip over the back fence with the next door neighbors; but one would suppose that the emperor got exercise enough dodg ing dynamite bombs and other infernal devices contrived by the nihilists, without resorting to wood-chopping. Common Phrases. The terra blackguard has a very common place origin. In all great houses, particularly in royal residences, there was a number of mean and dirty dependents, whose office it was to at tend to the woodyards, sculleries, etc. Of these—for in the lowest depths there are lower still—the most for.orn wretches seem to have been selected to carry coal to the kitchen, halls end other apartments. To the smutty reg iment, who attended the progresses and rode in the carts with the pots and kettles, w T hich, with every other article of furniture, were then moved from palace to palace, the people, in derision, gave the name "blackguards," a term since become sufficiently familiar. "To the bitter end" is clearly an old nautical expression. A dictionary, published in the first part of the eigh teenth century, has "bite," a turn or part of a cable; "bitts," the main pieces' of timber to which a cable is fastened when a ship rides at anchor; "bitter," a turn of the cable about the timber called "bitts," that it may be, veered out little by little; and "bitter end" (of a cable) is that part which is wound around the bitts when a ship rides at anchor. The modern cant expression, "to the bitter end," may have taken its rise from the old nautical words, as meaning the last coil of the cable, or from the last end,. the very "bitter" dregs. It is a slang expression, anoth er form of "I will fight you to the death." In it bitter only means piti less, severe, like a bitter east wind, or a bitter foe.
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