PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY
IN
MUSSER'S BUILDING.
Corner of Main and Tenn St., at
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Or $1.25 if not paid in advance.
Acceptable Correspondence Solicited.
s3f*AcUlress all letter* to
" MILLHEIM JOURNAL."
A Norn Legend.
A None king sat in his hall one night,
And the tern pee t was raging without;
The 9eft roared and dashed on the rooks near
by,
And the lights of he wen were out.
A great fire blazed with a dazzling lightr
On the hearth ot solid rock;
The brighter it gleamed lor the blnokncsa ol
sloi m
And the sound of the ocean's shock.
While he sat and talked, a bird flew io,
And over the monarch's bead;
Then oOt through tho open casement again,
To the wild, d.irk night it sped.
"Such is life," said the king, "from darkness
to li^ht,
/rom sunshine to storm, without rest;''
"Yes, eire," a courtier replied, "yet the bird
lias somewhere iu safety, a nest."
—.V. L. Emerson.
THAT GOLDEN CUEL.
Terry Dayton sat in his stufH* little
office, busily glancing over a heap of
letters which that morning's post had
brought for the establishment of
Messrs. Park & Haily. He came to
one addressed in a peculiarly dainty
feminine hand, and opened it with a
little more curiosity than ho had de
signed to bestow upon the others.
"Inclosed please find invisible
hair net color of hair sent. Ad
dress Miss Ella Terrell, Oakhaven, et
cetera."
"Miss Ella Terrell has very lovely
hair," thought the young man, ex
amining the long curl attentively. It
was golden-brown, and shone radiantly
in the beams of sunlight which at that
particular moment came pouring in at
the little window.
"Perhaps, though, it is not her own
hair."
However, he laid the letter and soft
coil aside, resolving to match that in
visible nei himself.
It was very strange, but a vision of
a young lady with golden-brown hair
would keep intruding itself between
his eyes and the remaining letters.
Sometimes brown eyes accompanied
the hair, sometimes blue. Xow it was
a petite figure—again, "divinely tall
and most divinely fair."
Having skimmed over them all, he
betook himself to that c.omi>artment of
the establishment devoted to such
articles as the one required. Box after
box he examined, and turned away
dissatisfied. Ho began to despair.
Here was the identical one at last. He
carried it in triumph to the office and
began to write:
"I have, my dear Miss Ella, at last
found one to match your beautiful curl.
I hope—"
"What bosh I am writing! Why,
Perry, old boy, youVe clean gone!" he
exclaimed, tossing the offending mis
sive into the waste basket.
Inclosing the article in a wrapper,
he addressed it, and laid it with simi
lar parcels on a shelf, at the same time
consigning the curl to his vest pocket.
"Of course you are aware, Mr. Day
ton, that some one must go north
shortly to attend to that business in
Liverpool; and as we have found you
faithful in the dischargeof your duties,
and place the utmost confidence in
your judgment, Mr. Haily and myself
have decided that you are the one
to go."
Thus spoke t?te senior partner, com
ing into the office where Perry wa>s
sitting. This happened a few months
later. Perry's beaming face fully ex
pressed his appreciation of this mark
of esteem.
He was to start in two days. This
was Thursday. The next Wednesday
morning found our friend taking
breakfast at the Adelphi hotel, Liver
pool. The business would ptrobably
keep him there a month or so. He
had plenty of leisure time, and devoted
it to viewing the sights.
One evening he entered the office of
a young fellow connected with the
business house of Park & Ilaily, and
found him making an elaborate toilet.
"Why this unusual and unnatural
regard for thy appearance, O Treve
!yn ?" he exclaimed, advancing into the
room where his friend stood.
: "I am going to a party. Don't you
want to come ?"
"Yes. Where is it?"
"At Old Swan, four miles away
We will take the cab at eight pre-
cisely."
Trevelyn was well-known and liked
at Old Swan. He had lived there
several years, and so it was that Perry
was presented to some of the nicest
people in the place.
He was talking with Mrs. Langdon
when he discovered that Trevelyn was
dancing with a very pretty young lady.
She had dark eyes, a small oval face,
and was dressed in some airy, floating
material. But her hair attracted his
attention particularly. It reminded
him of a curly lock which he had car
ried about for several months. And
then she wore an invisible net, which
was probably what caused him to
remember that other lock.
DEININGER & BUMLLLER, Editors and Proprietors.
VOL. LVII.
"Don't you agree with me, Mr. Day
ton?"
"Oh, yes, indeed!" he said, having
not the slightest idea of what Mrs.
Langdon was talking about.
The waltz came to an end at last>
and the two found their way to where
our friends were seated.
"Won't you introduco mo to tho fair
dancer?" Dayton asked at the earliest
opportunity.
"Was Miss Terrell engaged for tho
next dance?" A glance at a dainty
programme proved the contrary.
"Might he have the pleasure?"
"Yes."
"What n delightful turn that was!
Dayton had never enjoyed anything so
much. He had some thought of tell
ing Miss Terrell that a lock of that
mass of wavy hair was at that moment
lodged in his pocket. A propitious
fate permitted him to dance again
with her during the evening, and even
to accompany their party to supper.
The next day Trevelyn and Dayton
called to pay their respects at the
Terrell mansion. This was not the
last time. And then Perry fell into
the habit of going without Trevelyn.
The weeks slipped away quietly, and
at length Perry discovered that he was
madly, wildly, hopelessly in love with
the fair owner of the fateful net.
One day there was to be a picnic.
Nature extended herself to the utmost
on this particular occasion. No one
had ever experienced a more delight
fully pure atmosphere. How fresh
everything looked!—how sweetly the
birds sang! A winding road through
the trees led them at length to just the
place they wero looking for. Then
came the bustle of alighting and col.
lecting the baskets, and all sat down
for a general chat before going oil in
exploring parties.
The delights of pifnics were being
warmly discussed, when a gray-clad
gentleman on horseback was seen
approaching through the trees at one
side.
He seemed in no wise disconcerted
by numerous pairs of eyes bent upon
him.
"Why, lieggy, where did you come
from?" cried Miss Ella, prettily, while
the pater et mater shook him warmly
by the hand.
"I found myself able to be with you
earlier than I expected. They told me
you were all booked for the day, so I
determined to follow suit."
"It is so nice that you happened to
come on this particular day! We are
going to have such a nice day!" said
Mrs. Terrell.
"I'm not so sure of that," solilo
quized Dayton, gloomily, remarking
how pleased Ella seemed at the advent
of this stranger.
"Mr. Dayton—Mr. Greydon, "came at
last, and our friend found the keen
gray eyes giving him a searching look
during the process of a graceful bow.
"I think Princess would thank me
for a drink of water."
And Greydon proceeded to lead the
handsome animal to the stream a few
steps off.
EHa, excusing herself, gracefully
accompanied Mr. Greydon. Already
daggers of jealousy seemed piercing
Dayton's heart.
"When is the wedding to come off?"
he heard eoine one ask Mrs. Terrell
"It is not quite decided yet; not
before August."
"Then they are engaged! Why
didn't some one tell me before I made
such an utter fool of myself?" Day
ton groaned.
Everyone thought thfS precise
moment a suitable time for exploring
tours, and separated into groups.
The poor fellow wandered off by
himself, he did not care whither. His
brain seemed on fire. lie was desper
ately in love. Why had she always
seemed so pleased to see him? He
had thought so differently of her!
What an idiot he was to go on loving
the girl! One who could act so falsely
was not worthy of his affection.
These were some of his excited
thoughts.
He would go back. He would show
her that the stranger's presence made
not the slightest difference to him.
He turned hastily, and discovered
that he had wandered some distance-
Arrived at the spot, he found Miss
Ella, evidently much fatigued, alone.
He approached, and made a remark
about the weather. O, commonplace
young man!
"I was just wishing for some one to
come, and had a vague idea that the
nymph of the strea*a might venture
to show herself if no one else ap
peared," she said, languidly, fanning
her flaming cheeks.
"I will retire in favor of the
nymph."
"No; I would rather see you now,
having no energy left for the con
templation of naiads."
Dayton's face lighted up for an in-
stant, and then resumed its gloomy
expression.
"Mr. Greydon has gone, and 1 sup
pose every one else is off enjoying
themselves," continued Ella.
"I thought Mr. Greydon was a fix
ture; had couie on purpose to see you
—that is—"
"Dear me, no!" laughed Ella. "Ho
is on his way to my Aunt Ilattio's.who
lives at Liverpool. He la to marry my
cousin in August, and only stopped
here toconsult papa about something."
"Miss Terrell—Ella -dear Ella! I
have been such a fool!"
Of course no right-minded person
would like to intrude on tho conversa
tion which followed; suffice it to say
that two weddings came off in August
instead of one, and one happy pair
consisted of Ella Terrell and Mr. Ferry
Davton.
FAMILY DOCTOR.
People are advised by Dr. Foote's
Htnlth Monthly not to sleep in the same
undergarments worn during the day.
it may bo useful to know that
hoarseness may be relieved by using
the white of an egg thoroughly beaten,
mixed uith lemon juice and sugar. A
tea-spoonful taken occasionally is the
dose.
The London Lau<*t snvs that the
people who sneeze oft en est arc some
times the healthiest. A sneeze sets
the blood circulating and throws off
a cold which is trying to settle.
An exchange says; Not one in a
hundred, at the most, know how to
make a mustard plaster, and yet mus
tard plasters are used in every family,
and physicians preseriln? their applica
tion, never telling anybody how to
make them, for the simple reason that
doctors do not know, as a general rule.
The ordinary way is to mix the
mustard with water, tempering it with
a little Hour; but such a plaster as
that makes is simply abominable.
Before it lias half done its work it
begins to blister the patient, and
leaves him finally with a painful, Hayed
spot, after having produced far less
effect in a benelicial way than was in
tended. Now a mustard plaster should
never make a blister at all. If a blis
ter is wanted, there are other plasters
far better than mustard for the pur
pose. When you have a mustard
plaster, then, use no water whatever,
but mix the mustard with the white
of an egg, and the result will be a
plaster that will "draw" perfectly,
but will not produce a blister even up
on the skin of an infant, no mattev
how long it is allowed to remain on
the part. For this we have the word
of an old and eminent physician, as
well as our own experience,
Remains of the Seven Wonders.
In addition to the pyramids, after
some research on the part of Mr. New
ton, who is in the employ of the Eng
lish government, the foundation and
many of the fragments of the mauso
leum at Ilsiliearnassus have been dis
closed, which, with the mounds indicat
ing the positions of the walls and gar
dens of Babylon, are the only remains
of the " Seven Wonders of the World.''
The Colossus of Rh<xles, 'composed of
brass cast in pieces, was overthrown
by an earthquake, 224 B. C. The frag
ments remained until the ninth cen
tury, when the Saracens sold them to a
Jew, who is said to have loaded 900
camels with them, they weighing 720,.
900 pounds. The original Temple of
Diana was set on fire 356 B. C. by
Erostratus, an obscure individual who
sought by this means to make his name
famous. It was rebuilt, but again des
troyed by the Goths, A. D. 256. The
mausoleum gradually crumbled and de
cayed, though a3 late as 1440 A. D.
parts of it were used by the Knights of
Rhodes in the construction of a castle.
The destruction of the Olympian Jove,
at Elis, and the Pharos of Alexandria,
was probably accomplished by barba
rian invaders.
The Minister's Coat.
In the days of early Methodism in
Northern Ohio, a preacher had been
appointed to 41 new circuit, and wore
on his first round a fashionable broad
cloth frock-coat, which his tailor had
innocently provided for him. This be
came a source of great grievance to
the home-spun laity, and it was finally
resolved to make it a matter of disci
pline. So at the first quarterly confer
ence charges were prepared in due
form, and the offending minister noti
fied to be present and make answer.
Entering the room where the presiding
elder and lesser magnates were assem
bled, the preacher stripped off his coat,
hung it on the back of a chair, and
pointing to it, said: "Since it is the
coat that offends, try it. Could I preach
any sounder gospel in robes or cassock ?
It seems to me that it is not the man"
ner of the coat, but the manner of
the man in the coat, that should be
considered." And there the trial
ended.
MILLHEIM, PA., THURSDAY, MARCH 8, 1883.
STIiIKIXO CENSUS KETUKNS.
A PAPER FOR THE HOME CIRCIE.
fttithtlci of Imunity, Idiocy, Itllndnesr,
l'aupt rl.nt, Crime and l>eat!i.
Tho compendium of the "Tenth
Census," a volume of 1709 pages, con
tains, among other things, a summary
of tho report of Mr. Frederick H.
Wines upon tho defective, dependent,
and delinquent classes. The most
striking result of the work was tho ap
parently great increase in the number
of those included in the three classes
named. The number of insane persons
idiots, blind persons, and deaf-mutes,
as shown by the several censuses, was
50,994 in 1850; 58,45 Pin 1800; 98,584
in 1870, and 251,698 in 18S0. In other
words, although the population has a
little more than doubled in thirty
years, the number of defective persons
returned is apparently nearly five times
as great as it was thirty years ago.
Tho increaso of population between
1870 and 1880 was only thirty per
cent., while tho apparent increase of
theso defective classes was 155 per
cent. While there were only 2554 de
fective persons in each million in 1870,
there were 5018 in each million in
1880. Mr. Wines says that it is im
possible to believe that there has, in
fact, been so great an increase. Either
the enumeration in 1880 was excessive
or the enumeration in 187u was incom
plete. The bureau was assisted in the
work by 80,000 physicians, and Mr.
Wines believes that a much more per
fect enumeration of the defective
classes, especially of the insane and
idiotic, has been secured than was ever
before presented in the history of this
or any other nation. Of the 91,997 in
sano persons forty-four per cent, were
in hospitals and asylums; of 70,895
idiots three per cent, were in training
schools for the feeble-minded; of 46.928
blind persons, less than four and a half
per cent, were in schools and indus
trial homes for the blind, and 33,878
mutes, nearly sixteen per cent.,were in
schools established for them. Of the
deaf persons, one-half were between
tho ages of five and twenty-one, but
not more than one sixth of the blind
were between those ages.
It appears that insanity attacks
women more frequently than it does
men, but men on tho other hand are
moro liable to bo idiotic, blind or deaf.
Tho negro population is much more
liable to idiocy than insanity. Both
tho negro and tho foreign population
are singularly moro liable to blindness
than to dcatness. The tendency of the
foreign population to insanity is
especially worthy of attenion. "It
is startling to know," says Mr.
Wines, "that of 50,000,000 of in
habitants,over 400,000 are cither insane,
idiots, deft-mutes, or blind, or are in
mates of prisons, reformatories, or poor
houses. If to those we add the out.
door poor and the inmates of private
charitable institutions, the number will
swell to nearly or quite 500,000, or one
per cent, of the total population. We
cannot begin too soon or prosecute too
vigorously the inquiry into the causes
of the prevalence of these evils, which
are like a canker at the heart of all our
prosperity."
The number of paupers enumerated
in almshouses was 67,067, and the
number of prisoners in confinement
was 50,255. There were 11,340 in
mates of reformatories for the young.
Of the prisoners 16,000 are maintained
in idleness.
The death-rate of the United States >
as established by the number of deaths
recorded, was fifteen, one to the thous
and, a rate decidedly higher than those
given in the censuses of 1860 and 1870
This does not indicate, however, any
actual increase in the rate, but shows
that the returns in 1880 were more
complete. Adding estimates of defi
ciences, the agent in charge estimates
the actual death-rate at somewhere be
tween seventeen and eighteen per
thousand. The rate in England in the
same year was twenty and a half. Of
the total number of deaths reported,
which was 756,893, the cause in 19,551
cases was consumption; diphtheria
caused 38,398 deaths; enteric or ty
phoid fever, 32,905; malarial fever, 20,-
261, and accidents or injuries, 35,932.
The death-rate of the colored race is
much greater than that of the white.
Horrible Tragedy,
The jury room of the criminal court,
in St. Louis, was, a few (lays ago, the
scene of an extraordinary tragedy.
John C. Parker, a criminal who has a
record of the blackest kind in many
western cities, killed his wife and him
self. lie was a native of St. Louis,
and about thirty-three years old. He
was awaiting trial for killing John Pay
ton in a saloon. His pretty young wife
Nellie, and their five-months' old baby,
was in the court room in company with
his two sisters. The wife leaned
against the wire screen and talked to
her husband some time while another
caso was being heard. It was remark
ed at the time that they were very
affectionate to one another, A deputy
sheriff, who noticed their behavior,
said to tho reporter that tho only re
deeming trait in Parker's nature was
his lovo for his wife, whom he had
married about two and a half years
ago. She was considerably above him
in the social scale, and sacrificed her
family ties to link her fate with his.
While the husband and wife were con
versing Parker's lawyer asked that he
might have a conference with his client.
Accordingly the prisioner was taken
from the cage by a deputy sheriff, and
walked through the court into the jury
room. His wife walked by his side,
and his sisters and attorney followed.
They took seats, and the prisoner
began to give his lawyer a list of wit
nesses. The wife was seated by her
husband's side. Something drew tho
attention of those present from the
prisoner when a shot rang out, and
before any one could interfere, a second
one was fired. The first shot sent a
bullet through Mrs. Parker's brain,
killing her almost instantly. Tho
econd shot Parker fired while he held
the weapon close to his own temple.
He died within an hour. Neither he
nor his wife spoke after they received
their wounds. Late in the evening a
letter was found written by Parker,
wherein he showed that the whole plan
was arranged that he should kill him
self and his wife and that six* had help
ed him plot against her own and his
life. "When she went to the court
room, therefore, she knew she was
going to meet death. Yet she walked
across the room without a tremor and
entered the jury room, though she
knew that to cross the threshold was
to step into the grave.
"WASHING DAY."
Some t'*eftil lllut* to llonsekeeperp
About Waililnv ami Ironing.
First have the clothes well sorted.
Let the table-cloths and napkins be
washed by themselves, and each piece
looked over carefully in order to sec if
there are any fruit or coffee stains on
the pieces; if so, pour boiling water
over the fruit-stains, several times if
necessary, until they are removed, and
soak coffee stains for a little in cold
water, which will generally take them
out.
Let the sheets, pijlow-cases and cot
ton underwear be washed and boiled
together; then the towels apd white
cotton stockings; white shirts, gar
ments to be starched and handkerchiefs
could be put together, then tea towels,
and last of all the flannels. That
clothes may be washed clean, use a
good soap and an .abundance of warm
water. Clothes will not be white if
washed in a little water in the bottom
of a tub. and a cheap soap is not econ
omy, and often leaves a disagreeable
odor, even after a careful rinsing.
Have the water merely warm in
your boiler when the clothes are put
in, and rub a little soap on each piece
before boiling. Do not boil over fifteen
minutes, as a longer time is apt to give
the linen a yellow hue. After the
clothes are removed from the first
boiler, dip out half the water, and pour
in enough cold to fill your boiler half
full, and go through this process each
time. Many servants, unless directed
otherwise, are apt to put the second
quantity into the boiling water from
which they have taken the first, and
then pour in whatever extra amount is
needed. But putting the clothes into
boiling water will leave them yellow,
while the other process is a cleansing
one.
After removing from the boiler, rinse
them thoroughly in a large tub of
water, then blue them in another. We
have found it well during the winter
to have sheets, pillow-cases and cotton
underwear washed first, then take
linen, as they dry quickly, and are
ready to bring into the house, when
the starched clothes, which need to
hang much longer on the lines, are
ready to put out. The starched clothes
should be out during the brightest part
of the day, and the flannels should be
washed so as to have the benefit of the
sun also. To keep them soft and nice
do not put them all into a tub at one
time, but take up each piece separately,
wash in as hot suds as you can com
fortably bear your h; n Is, then rinse
immediately in another tub of hot
water, squeeze very dry, snap out, and
after pinning on the line, pull them
into shape. Flannels should never be
ironed.
As there is no odor about a house
more disagreeable than that produced
from boiling clothes, or the steam from
the drying of them in the house, when
the day is too stormy to hang them out
of doors, let every housekeeper be par
ticular in this matter, not only to keep
the doors between the kitchen or laun
dry and the house closed, but to insist
that the windows in the kitchen shall
be lowered a few inches from the top,
even in the coldest weather, that much
of the disagreeable air may escape.
Early rising, systematic planning,
good soap, an abundance of water, pure
air and a cheerful temper are necessary
to make a happy washing day, and the
washing and ironing well done and
greatly to the comfort of a household
—Chicago Standard,
Terms, SIOO Per Year in Advance.
"Two things are needed." said John
Decker to a reporter, "to secure to the
public security against loss of life by
fire. The first is a common sense es
cape, the second the universal adoption
of such an escape. For thirty years I
served as a volunteer fireman, sitting
for eight years on the board of en
gineers. and holding for five and a half
years the position of chief of the de
partment. and not a few have been the
number of so-called fire-escapes brought
to my notice. I have given the sub
iect mucn time and stuay, and the re
cent tires with the attending loss of life
Have confirmed the opinion I have held
for years in this matter. Balconies of
iron extending across the front, side or
back of a building, the floors connected
by ladders of iron, endless chains, por
table ladders and towers and a folding
window-escape may all be well enough
as far as they go, but they do not go
far enough. Inmates of a burning
building intuitively make at once for
the stairs. A practical fire-escape, then,
should be constructed with this fact in
view. This to my mind can be done
in no better way than by building ont
or more iron staircases enclosed by
some fireproof material and separated
from the building proper bv a hollow
wall. These stairways should connect
with every floor by automatic iron
doors, which should open from the hall
so that no impediment to their being
readily opened might obtain. Thus
upon an alarm of lire, the occupants ot
a building could descend in safety
without fear of falling or exposure
which tear, I believe, has occasioned
the death of more than one person dur
ing the last year. If the building be f
large one, then, two, three, or even
four of these fireproof staircases mighl
be built, each one of them cbmmuni
eating with every floor of the building
When I was in the legislature tht
question of lire escapes came up anc
was the subject of much discussiou
but that was all that came of it. Th<
general adoption of some such mean.'
of escape by our hotels, theatres, apart
ment houses and large factories woulc
soon educate the people to a knowledge
of the means at hand for escape ic
times of danger, and would not dis
figure the buildings or call upon weak
women and little children to cliint
hand over hand down a swinging chaiD
or a hanging ladder. In my present
capacity its superintendent of fire
appliances for the Erie railway my
means for observation are numerous
and varied, and no one plan but this
suggests so many good features or such
likelihood of meeting the requirements
of the emergencies of fire, in theatre,
dwelling or hotel.
Ages of Peop e Who Marry.
According to the figures compiled
Lby the clerks in the bureau of vital
i statistics, in 204 out of the total num
ber of 11,085 marriages in 1882, the
bridegrooms were under twenty years
of age. The number of brides under
that age was 2651. The bridegrooms
i between 20 and 25 years of age num
bered 3922, the brides 3662. There
| was 3382 men married who were be
tween 25 and 30 years old, and 2121
women between the same ages. The
i bridegrooms between 30 and 35 years
of age were 1635 in number, and the
brides 747. But 880 men and 435
women were married who were be
tween 35 and 40 years of age. The
old bachelors who became Benedicts
between 40 and 45 years of age nuni
i bered 477, and the women who wheD
married confessed to the same age
were 205 in number. There were 276
men and 109 women married between
the ages of 45 and 50, and 150 men
and 58 women between 50 and 55.
Seventy men and 20 women were mar
ried who were over 55 and under 60.
The bridegrooms over 60 and under 65
numbered 43, and the brides 8. The
bridegrooms over 65 and under 70
numbered 10, and the brides 2. Four
teen men married between the ages of
; 70 and 80, but no bride acknowledged
herself over threescore years and
ten. One bridegroom was between 80
and 90 years of age. Forty-five men
and 68 women refused or failed to
state their ages. The record does not
indicate which of the contracting par
ties in the above list were married for
the second time.
Tne recent explosion of a gunpow
der factory at Berkelav, Cal.. develop
ed a hero. Frank Boiler saw the
shower of sparks set fire to a taupau
lin on the deck of a schooner lying at
a wharf. He knew that fifty tons of
the explosive was aboard the vesseL
The crew were aware of it, too, and
they scampered away as fast as possi
ble. But Boiler leaped through the
window of his house, ran to the peri
lous craft and extinguished the flames
by throwing on water with a bucket.
If the fire had reached the cargo the
town and everybody in it would have
been destroyed.
NO. 10.
Fire Escapes.
California Hero.
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Tlie Girls.
Hear the laughter of the girls—
Pretty girls:
What a fund of merriment each ruby lip unfurls. \
How they chatter, chatter, chatter,
In the balmy hour of night,
While the stars that over-spatter
All the heavons hear their clatter
In a soft and mild delight,
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sorter-kinder rhyme,
To the tintinnabulation that, unceasing, ever
purls
From the girls, girls, girls, girls,
Girls, girls, girls—
From the wild, capricious, saucy, jaunty girls.
See the flirting of the girls—
Radiant girls;
How the softened brain of lover wildly whilrs
Through the mazes of the hall,
Up and down the stately hall,
How he skippeth to and fro,
And perspires.
Would that we could tell the idiot all we know
Of the fires
Into which the false one hurls
Each new victim—see the flame—how itswirls f
How it curls,
How it curls;
liettcr far that thev wcCP churls
Than fall victim to the girls;
To the prattle and the rattle
Of the girls, girls, girls,
Of the girls, girls, girls, girls,
Girls, girls, girls—
To the sacking and heart-racking of the girls.
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
Tt bears the palm—The hand.
A telegraph wire is like a mustache-
It is of no use when it is down.
It doesn't take much provocation for
a man to "get down on" a soft bed.
"Worth makes the man. When Worth
makes the dress he breaks the man.
Lumbago is one of the back taxes
that you can't readily supply a check
for.
Herein differeth ye damsel from ye
potato: She masheth the more readily
when raw.
The churchman and the family um
brella closely resemble each other in
one particular. They both keep Lent.
Mercury is called the "god of elo
quence." This may account for the
eloquence let loose on the subject of
thermometers during a cold wave.
People who don't understand why
parrots are invariably so vicious in
their discourse, must be. stupid. What
would you expect from a bird but fowl
talk?
If von really dislike a man it is well
to remember that nothing will mad
bim more than to catch him near a
hand organ and go up and offer him
some coppers.
It has now become fashionable in
Eastern cities to be married as early as
six o'clock in the morning. This starts
the bridegroom into the habit of early
rising right off
A little girl was walking along the
street the other day,when she saw a very
bow-legged man with a short coat on.
"Oh, ma!" she cried, "There's a man
with a tunnel under him!"
"William, my son," says an econom
ical mother to her son, "for mercy's
sake don't keep on tramping up and
down the floor in that manner, you'll
wear out your new boots." (He sits
down.) "There you go—sitting down!
Now you'll wear out your new trousers!
I declare, I never see such a boy!"
Showed His Money.
John 11. Yon Dohlen, a German gro
cer in New York, changed a $lO note
for a strar.ger, and, in doing so display
ed a large roll of money. Soon after
wards two young men entered the
store and said they had made a bet as
to whose hat would hold the most
molasses.
"Dot's noddings to me," said Dohlen.
"I know noddings aboud such pisi
nesses."
But the young men were not to be
put off. They said they would pay
for the molasses. The grocer grum
bled about the "voolishnesses" as he
took the hat they wanted him to fill
and went to the rear of the store.
As he returned with it to the man who
held out his hands for it, he stepped
between the two. The one who took
the hat said:
"Well, how much does it hold?"
Before the astonished grocer could
answer he was seized from behind, and
at the same time the hatful of mo
lasses was clapped on his head and
pulled down over his eyes. Blinded
and bewildered, he could make no re
sistance while his money was taken
from him, and when he got the hat off
and ran out on the sidewalk, dripping
with molasses, his dispoilers were gone.
He lost $274 and the molasses.
Should Carry Bells.
According to a ruling of the secretary
of the treasury, a vessel cannot be
fined for the failure to have a fog-horn
on board in ordinary weather, but
there may be an imposition of a fine if
a bell is not sounded while the vessel
is at anchor in a fog. In view of the
many accidents from collisions of late
it would be in the line of enforcing
precaution if all vessels were fined for
not carrying bells. „