VOL. LY.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS OF
BELLEFONTE-
C. T. Alexander. C. M. Bower.
A BOWER,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
BBLLEFONTK, PA.
Oooe la Qarman's new building.
JOHN B. LINN,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
BBLLEFONTK, PA.
Office on Allegheny Street.
t
£JLEMENT DALE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
*
BBLLEFONTK, PA.
Northwest corner of Diamond.
YOCUM A HASTINGS,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
BBLLEFONTK, PA.
High Street, opposite First National Bank.
HEINLE,"
ATTORNEY AT LA W.
BELLEFONTE. PA.
Practices In all the courts of Centre County.
Special attention to Collections. Consultations
in German or English.
F. REEDER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
BBLLEFONTK, PA.
All business promptly attended to. Collection
of claims a speciality.
J. A. Beaver. J.YV. Gephart.
JJEAVER A GEPHART,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Alleghany Street, North of High,
lyy- A. MORRISON,
A'fTORNEY AT LAW,
BBLLEFONTK, PA.
Office on Woodrlng"s Block, Opposite Court
Hou=e.
S. KELLER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
BBLLEFONTK, PA.
Consultations in English or German. Office
In Lkon'i Buying, Allegheny Street.
JOHN G. LOVE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
BELLEFONTE, PA,
Office in the rooms formerly occupied by the
late w. P. Wilson.
BUSINESS CARDS OF MILLHEIM, ft.
0 A. STURGIS,
DEALER 111
Watches, Clocks, Jewelry. Silverware, Ac. Ra
pairing neatly and promptly dona and war
ranted. Main Street, opposite Bank, M.llhelm,
Pa.
A O DEININGER,
* NOTARY PUBLIC.
SCRIBMKB AND CONVEYANCER,
MILLHEIM, PA.
All business entrusted to him, such as writing
and acknowledging Deeds, Mortgage*, Releas* a,
Ac., wilt be executed with neatness and dis
patch. Office on Mam street.
TT H. TOMLINSON,
DEALER I*
ALL KINDS OF
Groceries, Notions, Drugs. Tobaccos, Cigars,
Fine Confectloneiles ai.d everything in the line
of a flrat-class Grocery st ;re.
Country Produce taken In exchange for goods.
Main stieet, opposite Bank, MUlheiiu. Pa.
I. BROWN,
MANUFACTURER AND DEALER IN
TINWARE, STOVEPIPES, Ac.,
SPOUTING A SPECIALTY.
Shop on Main Street, two houses cast of Bank,
Mlllhelm, Penh a.
J EISENHL T TH,
* JUSTICE OF THE PF.ACE,
MILLHEIM, PA.
All business promptly attended to.
txillectlon of claims a specialty.
Office opposite Eisenliutli's Drug Store.
VJu&SER & SMITH,
DEALERS IF
Hardware. Stov(B, oils, Pat sits, Glass, Wa
Paper-, coach Trimmings, and Saddlery Ware,
Ac,. Ac.
All grades of Patent Wheels,
corner of Malu aud Penu Streets, Mlllhelm,
Peuna.
¥ ACOB WOLF,
FASHIONABLE TAILOB,
MILLHEIM, PA.
Cutting a Specialty.
simp next door tc Journal Book Sloro.
JJILLHEIM BANKING CO.,
MAIN STREET,
MILLHEIM, PA.
A. WALTER, Cashier.' DAY. KRAPE, Pres.
HARTER,
AUCTIONEER,
REBERBBURG, PA
latisfactlon Guaranteed.
She llillltrit®
THE VIOLIN.
The spirit of music sloe]* within
The of this old violin ;
But who hath power to wake again
To waiting ear* the rapture strain !
None but the master will she own—
She wakens to his hand alone.
That of her silence breaks the bouds.
And to his loving touch respouds ;
When all her passion, hushed to long,
Finds voice iu warm, love-breathing song.
Ihv heart is such au iustrvuueut,
In which love's harmonies, 10n;.,-pout
Seek utternuce. But one alone
The secret of their song may own,
Ilere, by my band, the struts are pressed,
To put my fcrtuue to tbe test;
Aud now I wait, tn eager pain,
If they speak love, or mute rmain.
How He Bead 11.
Although it was a bachelor's establish
ment, there were few mansions haudsomer
than Mr. llowland Coleman's, and many
were the feminine hearts which would uot
have been at all averse to transform the
imposing stone front and its rows of plate
glass windows, against which the almost
priceless lace curtains fell in foamy grace,
into a paradise that should uot be a bach
elor's paradise.
Everything was faultlessly handsome
inside, furnished with au exquisite tiuish
of detail that denoted the retiued taste of
the owner.
People wondered —and had been won
dering for twenty years—why Mr. Cole-
Inan did not ma: ry.
Forty-eight found him a portly—not too
portly—gentleman, with a fine frank face,
adorned by a thick, drooping white mous
tache, bright laughing eyes, as dark as well
could be, and thick luxuriaut gray hair
—a handsome, independent gentlemau,
who had all his life liked his bachelor life,
and hie bachelor home that was so grace
fully presided over by his widowed sister;
who liked the ladies remarkably well, but
who had never been convinced he could
love any one as he believed a wife should
be loved, unless we except little May Dean,
whose blue eyes had once or twice been
lifted to look at this wonderful rich, hand
some, gentleman, who was Mrs. Anderson's
brother, and Mrs. Andersou was one of
those genuine high bred ladies who was
not ashamed to condescend to be a warm,
true friend to May Dean's mother, even
if Mrs. Dean did do her plain sewing for
her.
May had several times seen Mr. Coleman,
and once or twice he had taken especial
notice of her, rather enjoying her uncon
scious awe of him, and very much admir
ing her undeniable gentle sweetness of man
ner, movement and voice.
He bad come to find himself thinking
frequently about her, so frequentlj r that he
had been obliged to bring himself to ac
count for presuming to give a second's
thought to the insane probability of a
little blossom like blue-eyed May Dean
caring for him —old enough to be her
father.
Mr. Coleman sat in his library alone—
such a magnificent, imposing room it was,
with its high ceiling, its niches where
statues of all the great scholars and states
men stood, its rows of shelves reaching to
the ceiling, its long central taole, its other
tiny tables where low, pleasant-looking
chairs were drawn up, its sweeping green
damask curtains, its carpet like a huge bed
of emerald moss.
Mrs. Anderson had gone out that night,
and Mr. Coleman was thoroughly revelling
in the prospect of a long undisturbed even
ing, when a servant rapped at the door,
with a note on a silver salver.
Mr. Coleman took it rather abstractedly,
for notes were of such common occurrence
with him, and, besides, he was already im
patient to be in the dry details of some
projected improvement in one of his big,
flourishing factories—an improvement that
would be appreciated by the hundreds of
girl operatives he employed.
bo he took the note rather indifferently
until he saw the name subscribed in full—
"May E. Dean."
Just a little look of surprise came into
his eyes, and there was just the merest pos
sible acceleration in his steady pulses, not
enough to make a perceptible tremor in his
hands—as he re-\d the communication —
'\DKAK MR. COLEMAN :—1 have no doubt
but that you will be very much astonished
when you find I have taken the liberty of
writing to you; but what I wanted to say
I thought I had better write. Please *do
not be angry with me for venturing as I
have done. lam not sure that lam doing
right in telling you all Ido ; but I have
thought it over and over, and have come
to the conclusion that 1 will. Of course
you know how poor mamma and I
how she has to sew, and how I have been
employed in Mrs. Einmett's family with
the children from nine till three ; but she
has discharged me and sent the children to
a regular sohcol, and, Mr. Coleman, I can
not imagine what is to become o :me un
less you will have me."
He paused point blank, and read the long
sentence over again, a curious expression
coming into his eyes and a smile creeping
under his moustache.
"Unless I will have her! Can it be pos
sible that she has really cared for me
cares for me enough to lay aside all con
ventionalities, and so gracefully, sensibly
offer her precious self ?"
His eyes were tenderly solemn, yet tri
umphantly happy, as he went on, touched
to the heart by her artlessness—
"l know I am very, very bold in daring
to asn such a favor of you. lam alfhost
sure you will be vexed and refuse me; but
Ido not mean any harm. I must not let
dear mamma be weighted with me, and I
know you are very good ana kind; and in
deed, I will try liard to please you in every
way. Please, Mr. Coleman, let ine come,
will you not ? But, if you would rather
not have me, do not be afraid of hurting
my feelings by saying so. Unless you
really do want me 1 would rather >ou said
no than take me just because I have ven
tured to ask. If you will write to me just
a word I will be very miich obliged.
Yours,
MAY E. DEAN."
There were more suspicions of emotions
in HowlaDd Coleman's eyes than had been
there for many a long year as he folded up
the letter, and put it in his pocket.
There was no thought of the projected
improvement iu the huge silk mills now—
no thought of the details his very soul
loved to struggle with.
He walked up and down the library, his
eyes fixed on the floor, his head drooped,
MILLIIEIM, PA., THURSDAY* MARCH 3, 1881.
his hands clasped behind ldin, thinking of
the strange revelation the letter held, try
ing to imagine the flushes that tinged May's
fair cheeks when she wrote it, ami being
alarmingly conscious that his heart was at
last unsealed, and that May Dean's little
baud had been the instrument to accom
plish that magical feat.
lie knew that, although all the love of
his mature manhood weut out to this little
blue-eyed girl who had pleaded her cause
so well, unless she had pleaded it, he never
would have dared presume to tlduk she
loved him.
lie did not permit an hour to pass in in
activity.
HShe will be in no enviable state of sus
pense until 1 answer her note. I will go
to her at once and tell her how I love her
—how far from refusing her I am."
Twenty minutes later his carriage stopped
in front of the house where Mrs. Dean oc
cupied rooms, and a moment later he stood
in the plain little parlor, where May stood,
her sweet face all alight with glad surprise
and conscious flushes.
"It is very good of you to take the trou
ble to come, Mr. Coleman," she exclaimed,
in a low, soft toue.
His heart fairly thrilled under her sweet
uess and shy graciousuess.
"You mean it is more than good in you
to allow me to come. Little girl, you
have made me very, very happy. Let me
kiss you, May?" he cried.
But she slirank away, surprise in every
feature of her face.
"Mr. Coleman!"
He was pleased with her shy reserve
more than with her little letter.
With a smile on bis face he again ad
vanced and tried to take her hand.
"You must never call me Mr. (Joleman
again, dear. But now let me hear how it
sounds to have you say llowland."
"Oh, sir, I never could do that, Please,
Mr. Cole—"
"Y<is, you cau, well enough, you shy
little girl! Why not now, as well as after
we are married ? Tell me, May, when
shall it be ? lam an impatient lover, now
that the ice 1 so dreaded is broken."
She looked at him in perfect bewilder
ment, her face alternately paliug and
flushing.
"1 am afraid something is wrong. I don't
know what you mean "
"Don't you ? May, you little rogue,
what does this mean, then?"
He held her letter to him towards her.
"isn't that tli3 dearest letter that ever a
man received ? Surely you know there
could be but one answer to it, and I've
come to tell you what 1 should huve done
long before had I not been in such fear of
a refusal from you. You have asked me,
so enchantingly, in this letter, for—"
She interrupted him eagerly.
"Yes, sir, for a place in one of your silk
mills. Please say yes P
Mr. llowland Coleman stood and looked
at her, all the ridiculous construction he
had put upon her letter occurring to him
forcibly.
A place in tbe mills !
His very soul sunk with the reaction
from happiness to despair.
Then he looked at her, aud—
"May, you cannot have a place in any
of my mills, although there are always va
cancies. But I must tell you what you
can have, if you will take it—me, and all
the mills in the bargain. May, will you be
my wife?"
A Fleamut Method of Traveling,
For those who desire to see Alaska in its
best aspect, canoe traveling is one of the
pleasantest known means of journeying
through the country. With ludians for
guides, the voyage can be easily undertaken.
The larger canoes made by these Indians
will carry from one to three tons, rise light
ly over any waves likely to be met on those
inland channels, go well under sail, and
are easily paddled along shore in calm wa
ter or against moderate wind, while snug
harbors, where they may ride at anchor or
be pulled up on a smooth beach, are to be
found almost everywhere. W r ith plenty of
provisions packed in boxes, and blankets,
aud warm clothing in rubber or canvas
bags, you may be truly independent, and
enter into partnership with nature;
ried with the winds and currents, accept
the noble invitations offered all along your
way to enter the sublime rock portals of
the mountain floods, the homes of the wa
terfalls and the glaciers, and encampt every
night in fresh, leafy covers, carpeted with
flower-enamelled mosses, beneath wide out
spreading branches of the evergreens, ac
commodations comp&ied with which the
best to be found in artificial palaces art
truly vulgar and mean.
Vampire Bats of Brazil.
Probably no part of Brazil is more af
flicted than a portion of the province of
Bahia, with the scourge of vampires.
Whole herds of cattle are sometimes de
stroyed by this venomous bat. It was long
a matter of conjecture how this animal ac
complished this insidious and deadly work;
but scientific men have now decided that
the tongue, which is capable of considera
ble extension, is furnished at its extremity
with a number of papilla*, is so ar
ranged as to form an organ of suction, the
lips having also tubercles symmetrically
arranged. Fastening themselves upon
cattle, these dreadful animals can draw the
blood from their victims. The wound,
made probably from the small, needle-like
teeth, is a fine, round hole, the bleeding
from which it is difficult to s'op. It is said
that the wings of tliis deadly bat fly around
during the operation of wounding and
drawing blood, with great velocity, thus
fanning the victim and lulling while the
terrible work is in progress. Some of
these creatures measure two feet between
the tips of their wings, and they are often
found in great numbers in deserted'dwell
ings in the outskirts of the city. The ne
groes and Indians especially dread them,
and there are numerous superstitions among
the natives in regard to them.
Novel Pictures.
A curious device, whereby pictures ol
various kinds are burnt out on a piece of
ordinary looking rose-colored paper, has
been brought out by a Berlin merchant.
*ou apply a glowing match at two finely
perforated points, and the sparks commun
icated then begin gradually to move over
the paper, wo.king out the picture.
Neither leaves its proper path, or injures
the paper beyond, and when the end of the
path is reached, the spark goes out. A
negative and a positive are thus obtained,
after the manner of silhouettes.
Hero Worshipping.
The people of northern Europe are great
hero-worshipers, but not by any means
ambitious to excel in holding the relics of
their heroes when they cost money. The
English ami Americans are the most ex
travagant in this respect.
Four years ago the Scottish* society of
antiquaries, after most diligent search and
at great expense, purchased from a Cana
dian farmer the Crook of St. Fillau, with
the custody of which four hundred years
before liobert Bruce hail entrusted hit an
cestor.
The harp ot Brian Born is still preserved
safely in the museum of Trinity College,
Dublin, while the prayer book of King
Charles I. and his watch are in the pos
session of two English gentlemen, from
whom no amount of money can purchase
them.
Due Purkiss, an Englishman, in an an
gry mood, eouverted into a bag of char
coal the axletree of the wagon iu which
the corpse of William liufus was conveyed
from the forest when Sir Walter Tyrrell
killed him.
All of these ami all of the older memen
toes of the eminent dead might or would
bring heavier prices in otln r years thau at
present. The age is growing too material.
In 1810 a tooih of Sir Isaac Nepvtou was
sold for seven hundred and thirty pounds;
his entire skeleton would scarcely command
that price to-day. The King of Pegu of
fered the Portuguese fifty thousand pounds
as a ransom for a tooth of Buddha, now in
the Temple of Adam's Peak, in Ceylon.
In 1885 the hat worn by Napoleon at the
battle ot Eylau was sold for ten Lhousaud
francs; at a recent sale numerous of his
relics brought mere trilles. The ivory
arm-chair presented toGustavusAdolphus,
by the ciiy of Lubeck, was appraised and
purchased some fifty years ago, for fifty
eight thousand florins, while in the same
year the coat worn by Charles XII, at the
battle of Pultowa, brought five hundred
and sixtv-one thousand Irancs.
The two pens employed in signing the
treaty of Amiens were sold for three thou
sand dollars. A wig worn by Lawrence
Merne was considered cheap at a thousand
dollars, while the countrymen ot the great
metaphysician, Kaut, auctioucdolf the one
he wore at the time of his death, for less
than titty. Voltaire's cane njfilized five
huudredjraucs; a waistcoat of j Kosseau—
Jean Jacques—a thousand. jThe over-
or goloshes, worn by AbnUiam Lin
coln ou the uigbt of his assassination, were
considered of so little value us to be given
over for exhibition in a drinking saloon.
One reason of the decline, to a certain
extent, of relic hunting, is the skillful and
shrewd counterfeits with which the coun
try has been flooded. The boldness of
these deceptions is almost equal to thai ol
the two rival monasteries, one oi which
exhibited the skull of John the Baptist at
the time of his death ; the oilier, not to be
outdone, had bis cranium "wiieu he was a
small boy."
- } i .
Au AuMM-lr-an fcfch-
"Mr. Horatio Bradlaugh."
Tiie words had scarcely ceased to echo
through the court-room when a tall, han
somely dressed, courtly-mannered young
man walked quietly to the frout. Every
thing about the witness betokeued the tho
rough gentleman. With folded arms he
s ood facing the desk.
"Kiss the book."
"I respectfully decline, judge."
His Honor looked aghast, the chiefs
hair lifted his hat almost off his head, and
spectators, of all colors and sizes, were
struck motionless with amazement. The
witness stood with lolded aims and erect
figure, his fine head turned from the ex
tended volume.
"Are you an iufldel?"
"1 am not."
"Perliaps you are an atheist ?"
"Not at all."
"And you refuse to kiss this book ?"
"1 decline to kiss that book."
"Are you mad, mau ?"
"My mind was never clearer."
"Do you believe in the Bible ?"
"I do; but I'm not willing to kiss that
one."
"Within is the moral law thundered
from Sinai."
"It is so."
"And the words of the prophet burning
with celestial fire—"
"You speak true."
"And the sweetest story ever told to the
ages."
"Right again."
"Better men ti.an you ever dared to be
have kissed this sacred tome."
"Worse men than I ever dared to be have
kissed that holy volume."
"Women's thin red lips have kissed it."
"Women's thick blue lips have kissed
it."
"Merchant princes have kissed it."
"Moon-eyed liackmen have kissed it."
"Statesmen have kissed it."
"Humpbacked tramps have kissed it."
"The rosy lips of health have been
here."
"The fevered lips of sickness have been
there."
"ihe quivering lips of distress have
pressed it."
"Yes, and barbers have bussed it."
"Genius has imprinted upon it a kiss."
"And so have smiff-dippmg spinsters."
■'The chiseled lips of beauty have
touched it."
"And the onion tainted lips of draymen
have smacked it."
"It breathes a beautiful spirit."
"Yes, and smells of five-cent whiskey."
"It is the book."
"Yes, but it's streaked with tobacco
juice."
"It is —"
"That's all so, but it's greasy and dirty,
and—"
"It is the best book in the whole world."
"On the inside ; but the worst book in
the whole world on the outside."
"You have refused to do—"
"What both races, both sexes, aud all
sizes have done."
"Y'es, thousands of all ages and condi
tions have kissed that book."
"You'll have to bring in a new book,
judge, if you want me to do any kissing
this morning,"
"Is your came Horace Bradlaugh ?"
"No, sir."
"And you know nothing about this
case?"
"Not a thing."
"How dare you answer to that name,
then, and get up here?"
"Judge, I'm a book agent; can't I sell
you a Bible ?"
H truce Greeley end the Tlcuet Agent.
A reformed ticket agent, a man now en
gaged in mercantile pursuit, and who looks
back with profound melancholy and re
morse to his wicked career, as he sailed in
as a ticket agent, told me that once, in his
sinful days, he was employed at Chicago
on a through line from that incorporated
Koreas on the iake to New York City,
which, made up of a new combination,
was "bucking" against Vanderbilt. To
extend its custom the combinaticn had at
Chicago a corps of able-bodied runners, to
seize wayfarers by the throat and fetch
them up to the ticket ageut, where the in
nocent traveler was to be talked into a
ticket over the combination.
One day an able-bodied ruffian came,
leading up a rough-looking customer, who
wished to purchase a lieket to New York
by the way ot Cleveland. The combina
tion did not touch Cleveland. But evident
ly the old white-hatted, loose-trowsered,
coarse-booted countryman, with his white
head and goggliug look, did not know what
he wanted. It was for the ticket agent to
care for him; and so he rattled on, with
ticket in hand, until the venerable, goggle
eyed old shutlle-toes had extracted from a
fat wallet the price and shambled awk
wardly away.
"Say, old fellow," asked a friend who
happened to be in the office, "do you know
who you sold a ticket to then !"
"Some old fool of a corn-cracker."
"Not a bit of it—that was Horace
Greeley."
"Ger whillicaus! and he wanted to go
to Cleveland?"
"Yes, he's billed to lecture there, and
the Tribune will give your combination the
d for the swindle."
"That's so. Here, you put your cheek
to this hole till I tiud him."
Away ran the ticket agent, it was uot
difficult to tind the hotel at which the
venerable philosopher lodged. Theticket
agent found him iu the reading-room, por
ing over a iate issue of tne Tribune. He
tapped Horace on the shoulder, and the
philosopher looked up with that child-like
expression ol his that seemed to come out
from open eyes and mouth.
"I beg your pardon," said the agent,
"but 1 sold you a ticket to New York
awhile since, aud I made a mistake."
"In the money, I suppose?" replied
Horace, dryly.
"No, sir; in the route. I remembered
after you left you said Cleveland. Now
the ticket I gave you will not take you to
Cleveland."
"The it won't," cried Greeley,
starting up. "Well, young man, I can
tell you that would be a great disappoint
ment to Cleveland."
"1 don't know anything about that; but
1 did uot want any man to miss his way
through any fault of mine. So I've beeu
in every hotel in Chicago after you."
"The you have."
"1 have. There is a right ticket. It's
oyer a rival line. But my honor, sir, rises
above trick. I bought the right ticket for
you, and if you give me the old one we
will be even."
"Young waa," said Horace, fishing from
his capacious pocket the ticket of the com
bination, you are very good; too good;
come to think of it, too d good tor a
ticket agent. Leave that, good young
man, before your innoceut nature is cor
rupted, or your d Patent Screw and
Pod-auger liue is busted up. Go West,
young man; go West,"
The lute fur Women.
There are corners of the world from
which we seldom hear, but when we <fb,
we hear something worth while. Such is
the isle of Man, chiefly notable hitherto
among the ladies for cats without tails ;
henceforth to be remarkable among women
suffragists for women with all their lights.
Geographically the Isle of Man is equi-dis
tant from England, Ireland and Scotland.
Politically it enjoys home rule. Industri
ally it turnishes various metals, minerals,
and agricultural products. Politically it
has furnished, in its limited area, its share
of a possible solution of a great problem.
Its Legislature has widened the suffrage
to householders of both sexes, under the
same conditions. The Woman's Suffrage
Journal, an English periodical, rapturously
proclaims: "Thus the House of Keys,
probably the most ancient popular assem
bly in the world, has been true to its tradi
tion of resisting encroachment on liberty by
taking measures to secure the exercise of
political rights by women as well as by
men, and by asserting the principle of free
government for the whole, and not merely
for the half of the people.
The House of Keys is the popular branch
of the Manx Legislature, the other House
being the Governor and Council. Tbe
franchise measure was introduced by tne
Governor, in the old style, conferring the
right of voting on the male inhabitants.
The House of Keys amended it by striking
out the word "male," by a vote of five to
one. It is said there is no doubt that the
new law will be concurred in so far as the
Manx men are concerned. The acts of the
Legislature require the sacution of the
Crown of Great Britain before they become
operative; and, if Queen Victoria with
holds her approval the "half of tha peo
ple" will declare that she is no true wo
man.
The area of the Isle of Man is 180,000
acres, the population about 65,000. One
might think if there's peace to be found in
the world, the heart that is humble might
hope for it there. It has a revenue of about
£50,000, and its annual Government ex
penses are some £IO,OOO less-. Neverthe
less, the island has a very respectabe debt
of about £150,000. When the women get
into the Legislature, as they naturally must,
they will have this debt reduced, or, if not,
know the reason why. The kingship or
lordship of the Isie of Man was formerly
held by hereditary descent, but the lord
ship was sold to the British Crown in 1765,
aud the Governors are now appointed by
the Sovereign of Great Britain. The Manx
men make their own laws, and impose their
own taxes. The institutions of the Isle
date back to 940, and the House of Keys
antedates the British House of Commons.
The local historians claim a long record of
independent legislation and conservation of
popular rights of which they properly are
preud.
Whether periect happiness would be
procured by perfect goodness this
world will never afford an opportunity
of deciding. But this, at least, may be
maintained, that we do not always find
visible virtue.
—There are ICB7 prisoners in the
Eastern Penitentiary
Mlm Waxer.
Young Mr. Sparks entered the law office
of Judge Smith with rather a sorrowful
cast of countenance. Drawing up a chair,
he gently inquired:
"Does the law allow damages for injury
to a man's feelings, Judge?"
"Not often; sometimes."
"Not when you're cut up, mortified,
trodden on, inputted, mad?"
"I can tell you better when 1 know the
facts."
"Weil, I'll state my case. You know,
Judge, that church fair that was held in
the hail last night? 1 went there, and John
Wormly introduced me to a most awfully
pietty girl, Miss Blazer. I never met tier
before. She was jußt splendid, you know.
Uncommon agreeable; and 1 treated her to
oysters and ice-cream, and bought her a
pin-cushion and a lamp-mat. and a whole
lot of fiddle-faddle. Spent about four dol
lars, you know, and she seemed so mighty
pleasaut that I thought I'd made a hit; dead
in love with her, you understand."
' Quick work, wasn't it?"
"Yes, but ahe was so very handsome and
so bewildermgly a liable. Aud so, about
ten o'clock, 1 asked her if I might see her
home. She said I might- I didn't know
where she lived and I didn't care. So we
started, and we struck oat for the Wood
bury Pike, aud 1 asked her if she was a
neighbor to the Smiley a, and she said she
wasn't. Then we walked on, and on, until
we were clear out into the country, and 1
inquired if her father was in the tarming
business, and she said no. So we kept
going, and pretty soon it began to rain,and
as 1 had no umbrella, I asked her to let me
throw my coat around her, and she con
sented. and I walked by her side in my
shirt sleeves."
"Did she seem grateful?"
'' W ell, not much. But we'd g jne about
half a mile farther, she said she thought
she saw a highway robber or something a
a few yards ahead —dark as pitch, you
know—aud wouldn't I go on in advance
and see what it was. So 1 walked boldly
on,and the first thing I knew, I ran against
one of the side-posts of the tollgate, and
skinned my nose. Look at it! Made it
bleed, too. Then she said she knew where
she was now, aud we could go right along.
1 asked her il she lived near the tollgate,
and she said 'not so very.' However, 1
kuew 1 had made au impression on that
girl, and 1 didn't care much for distance.
So we walked along, until we passed Simp
son's school house and came to Huckle
ln rry Greek. She said it just flashed across
her then that the bridge was down, and
she couldn't imagine how we were to get
across.
"Couldn't swim, could she?"
"Not deep enough, you know. So I
hemmed aud hawed awhile, and then I
told her thai, i didn'i like to make the of
fer, but I'd wade and carry her, if she'd let
me."
"lief used, of course, I suppose?"
"She accepted on the spot, and I got her
across safely, although 1 was wet up to my
knees. So then we kept going along, and
along, and along,until i got kind of uneasy
when all of a sudden she said she was afraid
she had missed the road, it was so dark,
and would n't 1 go to that house close by
and ask them if this was the Woodbury
Pike or Hatboro' Lane. I went, but before
1 could get to the door-bell, a dog came
booming at me, and 1 ran for the gate. Put
your hand right there, on my leg. Feel
that? That's the bandage over that dog
bite. A quarter of a pound of flesh gone,
at the very least."
"Did she sympathize with you?"
"Well, not as much as 1 expected. And
then we walked, and walked, and walked,
and kept on walking, until 1 began to
think she must live -oinewhere on the Pa
cific Coast when presently ahe said:
4 There's our house! I see a light!"
"That was one satisfaction, anyhow, for
I knew she would ask me in, aud have me
dried, and maybe her mother might ask me
to stay all night, so that I'd have a chance
to get acquainted with the family, and to
see her in the morning."
"Well?"
"Well, we went up, and when I rang
the bell, a young fellow came to the door,
and he says:
"Why, Emily, is it you? We thought
you intended to stay at Ferguson's, or I'd
have come for you."
"Then she introduced me, and said this
was the gentleman she was engaged to,
Engaged to , mind you! And he thanked
me lor bringing her home. I, you under
stand, standing on the front steps all this
lime. And the gentleman she was engag
ed to handed me my coat and said to
Emiiy:
"No use of asking Mr. Sparks in at this
time of night, of course?"
"And Emily said:
"He'll want to get home as quick as he
can, I am sure."
"And like an old fool I said:
"Of course."
"And so I quit, and they went in and
shut the door.
"It was just four miles home. I got in
about daylight, wet above, soaked below,
aud fuil of bruises, mutilated nose, dog
bites, and frantic with anxiety to play par
ticular thunder with the whole Blazer fam
ily, and tiie young man tc whom Emily
was engaged. Now, what can 1 do about
it?"
The Judge explained that there was no'
ground for an action in law, and Sparks
went out talking about murder and sudden
death; but he must have changed his mind.
The Blazer family was intact when last
heard from.
How Afghans elsht.
An Afghan never thinks of asking for
quarter, but tights with ferocity of a - tiger,
and clings to life until his eyes glaze and
his hands refuse to pull a pistol trigger or
use a knife in a dying effort to maim or
kill his enemy. The stern realties of war
were more pronouneed on the battlefields
in Afghanistan than perhaps they have
ever been in India, if we except the retri
butive days of the mutiny. To spare a
.wounded man for a minute was probably
to cause the death of the next soldier who
unsuspiciously walked past him. < >ne
thingn our men certainly learned in Af
ghanistan, and that was to keep tb-.-dr wits
about them when pursuing an enemy or
over a hard-won field. There might be
danger lurking in each inanimate form
studding the ground, and unless care and
caution were exercised, the wounded Af
ghan would steep his soul in bliss by Kil
ling a Kaffir just when life was at its last ebb.
The stubborn love of fighting in extremis
is promoted doubtless by fanaticism, aud
we saw BO much of it that our men at close
quarters always drove their bayonets well
home, so that there should be no mistake
as to the deadliness of the wound. The
physical courage which distinguished the
untrained mobs who fought so resolutely
against us was worthy of all admiration;
the tenacity with which men, badly armed
and lacking skilled leaders, clung to their
positions was remarkable, to say nothing
of the sullen doggedness they often showed
when retiring. But when the tide of the
light set in full against them, and they saw
further resistance would involve them more
deeply, there was so sudden a change
always apparent that one could scarcely
believe the fugitives hurrying over the hills
were the same men who had resisted so
desperately but a few minutes before.
They acted wirely; they knew their pow
ers in scaling steep hills, or in making their
escape by fleetness of foot, and the host
generally dissolved with a rapditiy which
no one but an eye-witness can appreciate.
If cavalry overtook them they turned like
wolves aud fought with desperation, selling
their lives as dearly as men ever sola
them ; but there was no rally in the true
sense ot the word, and but faint attempts
at aiding each other. Their regular troops
were hut little amenable to discipline, by
reason of deficient training, and they re
sorted to the tactics they had pursued as
tribesmen when once they were forced to
retire.
Never DO It.
Never associate with bad company. Have
good company, or none.
Never refer to a gift you have made, or
favor you have rendered.
Never look over the shoulder of another
who is reading or writing.
Never appear to notice a scar, deformity
or defect of any one present.
Never arrest the attention of an acquaint
ance by a touch. Speak to him,
Never punish your child for a fault to
which you are addicted yourself.
Neyer answers questions in general com
pany that have been put to others.
Never, when traveling abroad, be over
Kxastful in praise of your own country.
Never lend an article you have borrowed
unless you have permission to do so.
Never call a new acquaintance by the
Christian name unless requested to do so.
Never attempt to draw the attention of the
company constantly upon yourself.
Never exhibit anger, impatience or ex
citement when an accident happens.
Never pass between two persons who aie
talking together, without an apology.
Never enter a room noisily; never fail to
close the door after you, and never slam it.
Never fail to offer the easiest and best
seat in the room to an invalid, an elderly
person or a lady.
Never neglect to perform the commis
sion which the friend entrusted to you.
You must not forget.
Never seud your guest, who is accus
tomed to a warm room, off into a cold,
damp, spare bed, to sleep.
Never enter a room filled with people,
without a slight bow to the general com
pany when first entering.
Never fail to answer an invitation, either
personally or by letter, within a week after
the invitation is received.
Never accept of favors and hospitalities
without rendering an exchange of civilities
when opportunity offers.
Thin Coffee.
While a New Yorker was at Mt. Clemens,
Mich., last fall to try the effect of the
mineral waters on his rheumatism he was
one day approached by a young man who
asked:
"Are you not Mr. , ot New York
City?"
"I am," was the reply, "but Ido not re
member of having met you before."
"Probably not. lam Smith, the come
dian. n
"Smith—Smith/'
"Oh, you needn't try to remember me.
Pour weeks ago 1 flattered myself that all
the world knew me and admired my act
ing. I came West with a combination
which busted m Wisconsin, and after a
walk of 640 miles across the country I have
come to the conclusion that 1 never
amounted tp two shillings as an aGtor."
"1 presume you desire my aid to reaeh
home ?"
"Naturally I would, but if you will see
that I have dinner I will let you off. Fact
is, 1 have been bitten by dogs so often,
chased by farmers so frequently, and been
obliged to outrun so many constables that
I have lost all ambition. Once I wanted
thunders of applause at every hit. Now,
when I do a good thing in the way of elud
ing a Sheriff and his posse, I'm perfectly
satisfied with even pancakes and thin coffee
as a reward."
Ihe Boar's Head.
It was in the olden time when Baron
Rowdedow held possession of all the Ger
man provinces that a grand Christmas
dinner was prepared for ail his retainers,
and the great event of the day was to be
the bringing in of the boar's head, which
dainty dish was to grace the centre of the
table. But it so happened that the chief
cook fell ill, and his place was filled by a
young Milesian, and he it was that stood
by the chief door when Baron Rowdedow
called forth in a stentorian voice :
"Hence knave, and bringest unto us the
boar's head."
And he of Ireland wot not what was
meant, because in his isle a pig was a pig.
Yet he bethought himself, and went forth,
and returning sat before Baron Rowdedow
the head of a book agent who had devas
tated the baron's domains with a book sold
only on subscriptions, of which there were
999 parts and an index.
And the Milesian said: "Here, sur, is
yer boar's head." And the Baron and his
retainers did laugh a laugh of great joy,
and such a Cnristuias was there never be
fore held in those parts.
New Cement.
An invention which will considerable in
fluence architecture and sculpture has just
been made in Bavaria. By means ot an
enamelling liquid, the inventor renders
any Rind of stone or cement harder than
granite, and gives it the absolute and in
delible appearance of any other mineral
that may be desired. The enamel may
also be applied to metal, which it is said it
completely protects from rust.
H* m ♦
It is when our budding hopes are
nipped beyond recovery by some rough
wind that we are most disposed to pic
ture to ourselves what flowers they
might have borue had tbey flourished.
NO. 9.