VOL. LIV.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS OF
BELLEFONTE.
C. T. Alexander! CTM. ilower.
A LKXANDKR A BOWER,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office In Garman's new building.
JOHN B. LINN,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Allegheny Street.
QLEMENT DALE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Northwest corner of Diamond.
YOCUM A: HASTINGS,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Street, opposite F.rst National Hank.
M. C. HEINLE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Practices in all the courts of Centre County.
Spec al attention to CoUectlous. Consultations
In German or English.
II.BUR F. REEDER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
BELLEFONTE, PA.
All bus'ness promptly attendei to. Collection
of claims a speciality.
jTX Beaver. J. W. Gepliart.
JGEAVEK & GEPHART,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Alleghany Street, North of High.
A. MORRISON,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office on Woodrlng's Block, Opposite Court
Hou-e.
JQ~S. KELLER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Consultation* In English or German. Office
in LyouS Building. Allegheny Street.
JOHN G. LOVE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
Office in the rooms formerly occupied by the
late w. p. Wilson.
BUSINESS CARDS OF MILLHEIM, &.
A. STURGIS,
DEALER IN
Watches, Clocks. Jewelry. Silverware, Ac. Re
pairing neatly and promptly don • and war
ranted. Main Street, opposite Bank, M llheim,
Pa.
~A O DEIXINGER,
NOTARY PERLIC.
SCRIBNER AND CONVEYANCER,
MI LLHEIM, PA.
All business en'rusted to him. such as writing
and acknowledging Deeds, Mortgages Releas- s,
Ac., will be executed with neatness and dis
patch. Office on Main Street.
XT H.TOM Li XSOy,
* DEALER IN
ALL KINDS OF
Groceries, Notions, Drugs. Tobaceos, figurs,
Fine Confectloae j ies and everything in the line
of a flret-class 1 >rocery store,
country Produce i aken in exchange for goods.
—Main St eet, opposite bank. Ml lhelm. Pa.
r\AVID I. BROWN,
MANUFACTURER AND DEALER IN
TINWARE, STOVEPIPES, Ac.,
SPOUTING A SPECIALTY.
Shop on Main Street, two houses east of Bank,
Millhelm, Peuna.
T EISENHUTH,
* J ESTIi'E OF THE PEACE,
MILLHEIM, PA.
All business promptly attended to.
m collection of claims a specialty.
Office opposite Elsenhutn's Drug store.
AsljbSEß & SMITH,
DEALERS IN
Hardware. Stoves, Oils, Paints, Glass, Wa
Paper.-, coach Trimmings, and saddieiy Ware,
Ac,. Ac.
All grades of Patent Wheels.
Corner of Main and Penn Street-, Millhelm,
Penna.
~T A COB WOLF,
FASHIONABLE TAII.OR,
MILLIIEIM, PA.
Cutting a Specialty.
shop next door to Journal Book Store.
• BANKING CO.,
MAIN STREET,
MILLHEIM, PA.
A. WALTER, Cashier. DAV. KRAPE, Pres.
HARTER,
AUCTIONEER,
REBERSBURG, FA.
Satisfaction Guaranteed, ' " ■*=*-
(The pillfcettt SUntnutl
WIIKN ALL THE WOULD IS YOUNG
When all the world is young. lad,
And all the trees are green.
And every goose a swan, lad.
And every lass a queen.
Then hey for boot and horse, lad,
And round the world away,
Young blood must have its course, lad,
And every dog his day.
When all the world is old, lad.
And nil the trees are browu,
Aud all the sport is stale, lad.
And all the wheels run down.
Cr ep home, and take your placo there,
The spent and maimed among ;
(hid grant you hud one face there
You loved when you were vouug. •
My Punishment.
I am not yet thirty years old, but my liaii
is streaked with gray, my heart lies like
ice iu my bosom, aud my life seems only a
long, dreary waste —-a punishment.
Ah, if uiy siu was great, 1 was sorely
tempted, and my punishment only end
with my life.
When was it I first loved my cousin
Kale? It might have been when aunt
Barrie offered her soft cheek out of a
bundle of flannel for my boy lips to kiss
the baby.
I was wealthy, my father having left uie
a fortune when I was six years old, that
had been uursed carefully by my conscien
tious guardian till it nearly trebled iu value
wheu i came of age.
Aunt, my mother's sister, had only the
smallest income from her dead husbaud's
estate, aud lived iu a cottage not far from
the great house that would be my home
wheuever I choose to occupy it.
My own mother had died when I was a
baby, and all home affection iu my heart
centered in aunt and cousin Kate.
Yet it never was a brotherly love I gave
Kate after 1 was old enough to think of my
own home aud future happiness.
1 knew that my beautiful house would be
to me desolate and empty if Kate refused
to share it with me, aud although she
laughed at me if I made love to her, 1 nev
er ceased to hope uutil Girard Hopkiasou
came to Bartou.
He was, without exception, the hand
somest man I ever saw. Yet he was with
out a dollar in the world excepting his sal
ary as cleik iu my guardian's manufactory,
the Gordon Mills.
I had been all winter visiting my graud
mother, who had written me a most im
ploring letter, begging to see me once more
before she died, aud seeming so heart
broken whenever I proposed to leave her,
that I remained until she died early in
May.
I had left Barton in Novem'ner, and just
one week after my departure Girard llop
kiuson came to take a position in my guar
dian's counting house.
There was nothing of the snob about
John Gordon, my guardian, and finding Ids
new clerk to be a gentleman, he invited
hun to his own house, and introduced him
to Barton society.
Everywhere be met Kate, the belle of
Barton by universal consent.
W hen I came home in May aunt told me
that Guard and Kate were engaged.
1 will not dwell on what I suffered.
My whole life seemed to me a blank, but
I had no word or thought of blame for
Kate.
1 liid my pain as best 1 could.
Aunt knew all, for my heart had been an
open book for her loving eyes all my life,
and when we were all together she accepted
my attentions matter of course, leav
ing the lovers to*take care of each other.
To aunt only I confided my plans for
opening my own house in tne winter, and
she consented to come and share my home
after Kate's marriage.
In October 1 went away to nerve myself
by absence for the wedding, aud to pur
chase many additions to the modest trous
seau aunt was ranking for my cousin.
It was like a thunderclap to me when
my guardiau wrote to me that Girard had
robbed him.
"It was a very clev r forgery, 1 ' he wrote,
"and it has been 'raced directly to Hop
kiiisou. Evans, who has been with me
tliirty years, has my perfect confidence,
detected the forgery, and traced it up. Of
course Hopkiuson denies it, but it is too
clear a case. Still, for his father's sake, I
shall not prosecute him. He is the sn of
one of my dearest friends—dead many
years—and s pared this disgrace. I have
discharged Girard, of course, and he has
left Barton, but I shall keep the whole af
fair secret. 1 have told your aunt aud
cousin—no oue else."
Rate knew then.
My heart ached for her, for I knew she
loved Girard, even as 1 loved her.
I wrote to aunt, and received letter after
letter, telling me of Kates's grief, and her
firm faith in her lover's innocence.
The weary winter passed, and Kate's
health failed, in her pain and humilia
tion.
All Barton knew of her engagement, but
no one knew the cause ot her lover's deser
tion, 83 that there was the bitterness of ap
pearing to be jilted in addition to the bur
den of knowing the truth.
I was shocked when I returned to Bar
ton to see the shadow of my bright beauti
ful cousin in the pale languid girl who
greeted me with sisterly affection.
I consulted our old doc! or privately, aud
he strongly advised "change of scene."
"bhe is fretting here," said he, "and
everythings reminds her of her faithless
laver. If she went away for a year, she
would come back herself again.
Armed with this opinion I laid siege to
aunt, and the result was that we went
abroad, no time being set for our return.
It was a labor of love with me to win
my cousin back to cheerfulness, and if 1
was lover like in my attentions I was at
least sincere in my devotion.
I believed Girard to be a forger, one who
had robbed not only his employer, but his
friend, and 1 honestly held the opinion that
Kate's happiness would be best secured if
she could forget him.
With this conviction and my own love,
1 hold myself blameless that I tried to win
Kate's heart, even though I knew I never
could be first there.
Yet it was two years before I ventured
to ask Kate to be my wife.
We were in Paris when she put her hand
in mine, saying—
"You know all. I will be your true
faithful wife, since you love me in spite of
! knowing that my heart was giving to Gir-
I ard."
MILLIIKIM, I'A., THURSDAY, DECEMBER 2. 1880.
There was no reason to delay our wed
ding. and I made every preparation to be
marneu on the 12tb of May, and sail for
home early in June.
Aunt banished me to another hotel for a
week before the ceremony, to have K ale's
undivided attention In the trouaneau , ami
other details of the wedding, for wo had
utany friends invited, ami had resolved to
have a grand breakfast after the return
from ehureh.
On the 11th of May 1 received a letter
from my guardian, lie wrote:
"MY DKAK BOY, —You will be as glad as
1 was to hear that Girard is an innocent
man. 1 cannot be too thankful that 1 nev
er ojH'nly accused him of the forgery.
Evans died last week —committed suicide,
lie has been robbing me systematically
ever since 1 took him into my full confi
dence. The forgery was committed to
cover a loss by speculation, but he has gone
on from one venture to another until dis
covery was inevitable, and suicide seemed
his only escape, lie left a full confession,
ami fortunately 1 knew whereto tiud llop
kiusou. I wrote to him at once, and hu is
now in Barton in Evans place, and with
his salary. Neeil 1 say he is still faithful
to Kate' I enclose his letter to her."
There it lay, the letter that was to des
troy my whole scheme of happiness.
1 put Girard s letter unopened into the
flames of the gas burner, ami watched it
burn to ashes.
Then 1 folded away my guardian's letter
which had some business details I intended
to copy before destroying it.
What excuse could 1 make for delaying
our return to Barton?
Worn out already by mental excitement
I left that questiou open, uudecided
whether to take aunt into uiy confidence
in eo far as to tell her ot Uirard's return to
Barton.
I heard more than one comment upou
my pale tace at the wedding breakfast, but
everything passed OH well, and Kate was
my wife.
With Kate my own I had thought to
defy fortune to injure me, but before the
honeymoon was over I knew that my wife
would be dutiful and faithful, but never
loving.
We had been married nearly two months,
when one morning Kate came into the
room of our Loudon hotel, where 1 sat
reading.
Upou one pretext and another I had de
layed our return to Barton, and we had
been some weeks in London.
1 looked up as Kate came in, and her
ghastly face aud set lips absolutely fright
ened me.
Before I conid speak, she held out to me
my guardian's letter.
"You asked me to clear up your table
drawer," she said, aud this was folded in
another paper, but so that I read one line
Kiirard is an innocent man!' Then i
read the letter. 1 only ask you one ques
tion—did it reach you before we were
married?"
1 could not lie to her, with her eyes riv
eted on my face.
"Before," I said.
"Aud you destroyed the inclosure?"
"Yes."
She uttered no reproach.
She simply put the letter on a table be
side me, and left the room.
But it killed her.
For months she faded away, coldly duti
ful to me, gently affectionate to her mother,
but crushed by the weight of her misery.
Her only hope of happiness was gone
when her quiet affection for me turned" to
bitter contempt, and I faltered in every at
tempt to wiu back even the dull semblance
of love she hat! tried to show me.
I am writing this m my own home at
Barton.
Kate's dying wish was to be buried here,
and we brought her home to place her be
side her father in Barton cemetery.
Yesterday the coffin that held my heart
was lowered into the grave.
Aunt knows all; she has forgiven me.
and will share my home.
It was her hand that burned the fata!
letter, and no one has questioned us about
it.
My guardian has the idea it reached me
after my marriage, and Girard shares this
belief.
But I know that my treachery has killed
the only woman I ever loved, and that my
Life will be one long agony of remorse.
The Sugar Meet and Its Product*.
It is not generally known that very
vigorous efforts are in progress to introduce
sugar-making from the beet. The JState ot
Deleware has a commission organized to
award premiums to farmers for raisiug
crops of the sugar-beet, seven premiums
aggregating S4OO being awarded for crops
of 16 tons of roots per acre and over, and
seven smaller premiums for crops of 4 to
16 tons per acre, The Delaware Beet-
Sugar Company has a large factory 56 by
142 feet, intended to work up the crop of
the present year, and has contracted for the
produce of 400 acres, in addition to 114
acres grown by the company. During last
year eleven farms at tempted the cultivation,
and the official report ot the quantities
grown shows that the product ranged from
7\ tons to 26 tons to the acre, five of them
exceeding 16 tons, and that the calculated
product of sugar per acre ranged from 1,407
pounds, the lowest, to 4,468, pounds, the
highest. Seven of the farms exeeeked 2,400
pounds of sugar per acre. The percentage
of sugar was also high, in all but three
cases exceeding 10 per ceut. The percent
age of sugar increases if the gathering of
the roots is delayed ; those pulled in Au
gust yielding 5£ per cent.; in September,
8 6 10 per cent., and in October, 8 98-100
per cent.
■J he Razor Clam.
When the tide Is out, one may find the
razor-fisli, so called because the shell re
sembles the handle of a razor. If laid
Hold of suddenly, the chances are that be
fore he can be drawt out lie will slip out
of his shell, leaviug that empty iu the
hand, while the "soul and essence" of him
has gone down half a fathom intothesand.
Yet lie is not more slippery than many an
individual, who, when pressed to do some
magnanimous deed in behalf of the com
munity, slips out of his shell, and, losing
the grip, you can no more lind the soul and
essence of him than you can find the soul
of this razor- fish, which has gone deep into
the muck and sand. In - either instance,
the empty shell is the only sign of the
thing wanted.
tie W*utel Oleomargarine.
Uilhooly strolled into his grocer's estab
lishment recently just us that distinguished
statesman WAS opening a keg of golden
tinted oleomargarine.
"That looks uiee. It's genuine butter,
I suppose: none of your bogus stuff?"
queried Gilliooly.
Now, this WAS a loading question. The
grocer wanted the worst to sell some of
that oleomargarine to Gilliooly, so he spoke
up at. once:
"Of course it is butter. Just look at the
Iwautiful golden hue only lound in dairy
butter. It makes one think of cows and
buffer-cups, just to look at ii—don't it
now?"
"But is it butter ?"
"Is It butter? Why, of course it is.
Some people are so suspicious they won't
believe butter is butter unless they take it
out of the churn themselves. Man alive!
just smell it. Don't it make you think
you are rolling in fresh-mown hay? You
can just taste the buttermilk it you try."
"But is it butter ?"
He had to he or lose a customer. When
that issue was squarely put it would have
been commercial suicide to have hesitated,
so he came right out like a little man and
said it was butter.
"Butter /rom cow's unlk?"
"Yes,"
"Then,'' said Gilliooly', A<* a sad smile
pasted over his features, "then I dou't
want it. Cow's butter is no longer fash
ionable. I wanted some of this oleomar
garine, made, you kuow, of axle-grease,
tecond-hanil tallow, aud mucilage, that
looks like butter, but contains the organism
of a new kind of tape worm. I don't say
that I like that kind of jelly, but lam
going to keep up with the procession, any
how. {So you haven't got any oleomarga
rine? Sorry, for I thought you kept a
first-class establishment," and" he passed
out like a beautiful dream.
The grocer was silent for a moment, aud
then he spoke confidentially to himself:
"Next time I'll tell ttie truth if it bursts
me wide open."
Aucleut Tombs In Awltzerlaixl.
An interesting find of ancient tombs
supposed to have formed part of a Burgun
dian burying ground, was made a shflrt
time ago at Asseus, a village of the canton
of Vaud. These tombs, which follow each
other iu regular order, are hollowed out of
the rock on a hill at the entrance of the
viliiage, about three feet below the soil.
They are each two metres long aud eighty
ceu imttres wide. At the head of each
grave is a fist stone, dressed, but bearing
no inscription. The bones are disposed in
the ordinary way, as if the bodies to which
they belongtxl had been laid down in a
horizontal position, aud not vertically, AS
in some tombs lately opened at Chamblan
des, in the same canton. Fragments of
tibial, femurs, and the clavicles were found,
but no skullA One of the tombs contained
the bones of an adult and an infant, pre
sumably of a mother and her child. Among
the objects found are pieces of eurtouriy
wrought and chased metal and silver rivets,
the remains probably of a warrior's giaivs
and sword-belt. In another of the tombs
WAS a bellmoutlied VASC of the capacity of
lialf a litre black as t) its exterior, but in
substance yellow. Whether the material,
of which it is composed be stone or burnt
curth has not yet been determined. Inside
as well AS outside there are traces of
lozenge-shaped figures executed apparently
with some graviug tool. The chief inter
est of these tombs consists in the fact that
they are almost certainly coeval with the
arrival of the BurgunUians in the Jura
country in the fifth century whither they
were called by the aboriginal inhabitants
to repeoplc the land, almost depopulated
by an invasion of the Allenmin. Being
for the most part shepherds and hunters,
they dwelt chiefly on the mountain slopes
and in elevated valleys. The plateau of
Mount Jorat appears to have been oue of
their most important settlements, and there
can la* little doubt that theorigen of Asseus,
as well AS of Cheseaux, where also Bur
gundian tombs have been found, dates back
some 1,400 years.
not H Corner.
On one of the morning trains over the
Erie road, the other day, a farmer-looking
man, walked the length of a car, without
finding an empty seat, and he slowly re
turned to one occupied by a lone man, who
at once spread himself cut as much as pos
sible, and suddenly became deeply inter
ested in bis newspaper. The farmer halted
beside the seat, but the other
movement. Even after a full minute bail
passed there -was uo sign that he meant to
share his quarters with the other.
Then the farmer gently touched his arm
and said:
"If you can hang on long enough you'll
make a fortune."
"What—what's that, sir?" demanded
the other, as he looked up.
"It's a big thing—hang ou to it!" whis
pered the farmer.
"What is it? What do you mean sir?"
"1 tumble; but I won't give it away,"
chuckled the farmer.
"What do you mean, sir?"
"I mean that you've got the biggest cor
ner on the hog market ever known in this
country, and if yon don't make a million
dollars out of it I'll eat codfish for a year."
Ha 1 lof the seat was suddenly vacated,
but the farmer preferred to stand up and
brace against the stove.
"And I Did.'*
In one of Michigan's interior towns live
a couple known as the "Siamese Twins."
They are always together. No one in the
viiliage ever remenbers seeing one un
accompanied by the other. They go to
church together, they split wood together,
they walk the streets together and they fight
together. Not long ago, after a severe
battle, a gentleman said to the feminine
twin:
"Sarah Jane, why do you pummel your
unprotected husband so? Thi k how bad
you would feel if he would die."
"Oh," said Sarah Jane in a tone that
showed the matter was settled in her mind,
"we will die together. We made that ar
rangement when we were married. You
see John Henry was married before, and
seven days after his first wile died he came
to me and asked me to marry him, 'John
Henry,' said I, 'you ought to be ashamed
oi yourself. Only seven days a widower.
You should at least have respect enough
for your late wife to wait a reasonable Hwe.
Come back ten days after the funeral and
I'll marry you.' And I did."
KIIKMI BY A MUIUIIK,
It was a clear moonlight night when, af
ter a hard day's "drive," and the herd of
wild horses had been penned, that the cow
boys stripped their tired ponies of saddles
and bridles, and slaked them out to graze
mi the thick menquit grass which fringed
the hank of the Han Bernardo.
After this duty had been uitended to,
the cooking utensils were brought forth,
and soon the coffee pot was singing a mu
sical little song, and a leg of fresh ealf
ribs spluttering before the fire. The re
past, though roogli, was made enjoyable
I) 3' an appetite which only violent exercise
and pore air can give, and after the boys
had eaten until it became necessary to un
buckle their six-shooter belts, blaukets
wero spread under the branches of u gigun
tic live oak which seemed to stand guard
over the broad expanse of prairie, and
they settled down for a quiet smoke,
"1 tell you what, boys," said Ned Cur
tis, who was one of the hardest riders aud
best |x>ker players west of the Brazos, as
he lit a cigarette, "we are going to handle
some pretty rough mustangs to-morrow,
and if any of }'ou fellow# want to show
your fancy riding you hail better be fixing
your flank girts and rolls, because there
are some unbranded four years old in that
bunch, who are going to make you hum
like a churn-dasher, and you'll have to
fork 'em deep to stay' in the saddle. There'
is oue in the pen that is a perfect picture
of the mustang mare that sent Bill Hall to
the angels."
"Wasn't he sjme galoot from the old
States ?" inquired one of the lx>ys, turning
over on his blanket.
"Yes," replied Ne<f, "be was a long
tow-beaded chap, greener than an August
persimmon, with legs oil him shaped like
a pair of liames."
"How did he happen to get killed, Ned
Did the mare flirt him a li tie too strong?"
"Ye?, that was the way of it. "You see,
lie had just come from Gregory, aud had
never been on the back of a wild horse be
fore in Ins life, but he was spunky with
all of that, and wasu t scared of anything.
One day while driving out in Nueces
county, we made 'round up' all of the
horses in the range, and after 'cutting out'
all that were iu the 'diamond P' brand the
boys began throwing rune down and rid
ing 'em, just to see the wild devils buck."
"Well, Bill Hall took a darn fool notion
to ride one himself' and ht picked out a
little Roman nosed mustang mare, pure
{Spanish, and wilder than a cavote, aud got
some of the boys to help him throw ner
down, because he didn't kuow any more
about handling a lariat than he did about
running a praaer meeting.
Wnen the saddle had been strapped on
her aud Bill forked it, she was turned
loose, and the crowd stood back to see the
fun. Well, air, that plug raised her hea?,
looked back, bellowed a couple of times,
and then she lit into the pretties! bucking
1 ever looked at. "Stick to her Bill," I
yelled, but the only thing he could say
was, "Whoa! Stop her boys, daru her old
hide."
While he had his knees gripped to her
sides like a vise, and lus hair standing like
a brush heap, the mustang stretched her
self out like a step ladder, put her head
between ber front legs, and then bringing
herself together like a rat-trap, she slam
med Bill Hall against the grouud harder
than 1 ever heard a fellow hit before.
When we picked him up oue ear was
jammed around to the hack of his neck,
and, from the look on his face, we ki-ew
that he wasn't long for this world. He
lingered for a day or two, and we did all
we could to ease his pain, hut one morn
ing he motioned for us to come to iiim,
and as I kueled beside his couch and took
his hand in mine he said: "Boys, I'm
going to pass in my checks, but I ain't
going to shiver about it, even if 1 do die
away out on a prairie, with no one but a
few friends an uud me. I'll have a big
broad bed to rest in, aud if some <iy you
ride I)}* my grave won't you get down auu
think of me awhile ?"
"\V ell, sir, the boys—the ornary cusses,
were cr3*ing like women, and 1 felt terribl3*
shaken myself, but we all promised that
we would, and then he raised himself a
little, and iu a faiut voice said: 'Neil, I
want 3'ou to write to ni3' mother and tell
her that I wasn't a very dutiful son, but I
loved her ji.st the same.' "
"Ned," he muttered so faint I could
hardly hear him, "don't tell my folks when
you write that I was slid into Heaven by a
d—d mustang," and with that his head
fell back, his grasp on my hand relaxed,
and Bill Hall was on this earth no more,
and when I thought how his mother would
grieve it made me feel weak in the knees.
We buried bio-, and Jack Jones, who
is something of a scholar because he had
a chance to go to school down in Bay Prai
rie, wrote on the head-board of the grave—
WILLIAM HAI.L
got a fall;
Killed Dead as a Slug
By a Texas Plug,
BORN IN OKORGY.
"It always makes me feel bad when 1
think of that poor fellow, and how to-day
he sleeps on the hank of the Santa Ger
trudes with nothing but a live oak to mark
his ast resting place in the bosom of the
prairie. Do any of you fellows want a lit
tle uraw poker to-night ?"
Several did, and 'mid the shuffling of a
greasy pack, Bill Hall was soon forgotten.
Where the Ninuli Wan.
Reporter—"l wish to ascertain some of
the particulars about the recent accident
on your road."
Superintendent—"What road?"
Rep.—"Why your road ?"
Supt.—"l own no road."
Rep.—"Are you not the Superintendent
of the Go-to-Blazes.Smash and-C'rash Rail
road?"
Supt.—"l am. Why didn't you ask
that before?"
Rep.— "Well, now about the accident."
Sup.—"What accident?"
Rep.— "Why, the recent accident."
Supt.—"There has been no recent acci
dent."
Rep.—"Why, didn't a train run off the
track recently, smash ha fa dozen cars to
kindling wood and kill live or six people?"
Supt.—"Where ?"
Rep.—"At Gimlet Falls Station."
Supt.— * Where is Gimlet Falls?"
Rep.—"Where ? Don't you know ?"
Supt,—"l am not called upon to know.
Prove to me where Gimlet Falls is."
Rep.—"Well,this is cheek."
Supt.—"No, it ain't it's business."
To the Christian nothing can be so
dark but that there is a bright side.
Cured by Hanty Pudding.
Doctor Radcliffe cared but little for books
and yet lie left #2OO, OIK) to found the
library at Oxford University, which bears
his name. A friend, visiting him, asked
where his study was. Pointing to n few
vials and a skeleton, he replied, "This is
Radcliffc's library."
Though one of the moat successful phy
sicians of his day, he seemed to ignore
physic. He once remarked, that when he
began practice be had twenty remedies for
every' disease, hut before many years he
found twenty diseases for which he had
but one remedy.
llis reputation was due to the same
qualities which command success in alljde
partments ot life —namely, quick penetra
tion, gocd sense, decision aud fertility of
expedients.
lie was called to a gentleman ill of the
quinsy. Seeing that neither an internal
nor an external application would be of
any eervice, he ordered a liusty pudding
to he made. W hen it was done, his own
servants having been instructed as to their
behavior, brought it to the patient's room.
"Come Jack and Dick," said the Doctor
as the pudding was placed on the table,
"eat as quickly as possible. You've had
no breakfast this morning."
Both tiegan, but on Dickis dip
ping his spoon twice into the
pudding to J nek, 8 once, they
quarreled. From words they went to
throwing spoonfuls of hot pudding at each
other; then haudfuls. The patient was so
much amused that he nearly burst with
laughter, and that burst the quinsy and he
recovered.
Colorauo Jack.
lie called himself "Colorado JHCK," and
looked like he might be a bad man to han
dle. He was up for drunkenness.
"Do you plead guilt 3' or not guilty?" said
the recorder.
"You don't try a man for murder liefore
the inquests are held, do you? Don't you
take me around to the undertaker's shop to
ideutify the remains? That's what I have
been accustomed to in Colorado."
"What remains? What inqaest?"
"Why of the ioliceman who tried to
arrest me?"
"You didn't kill any policeman."
"Well, dou't you want to see the result
of their wounds before you try me? Don't
3'ou take their aute mortems and liave
them ideutify me as the tornado that
struck 'em? As a general thing the>* die
before the}' are taken to the hospital."
"I don't kuow what your are talking
about. You were arre-ted and brought to
t. e lock-up by a little sick tailor on Gal
veston avenue, who was disturbed by your
howliug."
"O, well, that's all right, At first 1
was afraid I had disgraced myself. An}'
citizen can arrest me with impunit}'.
Civilians are beneath my resentment.
You can't make me destroy one. I might
go along with one policeman if he was not
armed and very polite. When I want a
tight I want the genuine article. It takes
live able-bodied policemen to make it in
teresting enough for me to let myself out.
I never fish for sardines. In Colorado they
usually bring out a batter}' on me aud a
coinpan}' of infantry. As long as }*ou
keep your police out of my way wnen I
am drunk they are safe. That explains it.
1 couldn't find the jaolfre to get up a mati
uee. That explains wlfy there is no mor
tuary report this week—no vacancies on
ttie force. I exj>ect the police knew me
and hired that little tailor to briug me in,
knowing I only go to war with reguiarly
ordained policemen.
BlllfnK*KMte, London.
Who would wee Billingsgate at its busiest
must be there by 5 o'clock in the morning,
for at 5 o'clock, all the year round, the po
liceman,permanently appointed to this post,
rings the great bell, and at the first tone of
its iron tongue the iron-gates,river side and
city side, are unbarred, and swinging wide
open, admit such a concourse as is not seen
in any other city under the sun. Men in so
called white smocks, with head-dresses,
partly felt, partly leather, some with leaves
of leather hanging half way down the back,
make furious rushes from Lower Thames
street to the river side, where they are met
by fellow-laborers, who have reached there
by some mysterious means already, and
who search about eagerly for work to do.
The steamers that have been out for days
in search of the fleet of fishing boats from
the North Sea, and which may have over
hauled them close at Heligoland, or nearer
to, or further from our shores, are moored
alongside the dummies by the landing, and
into each of these are lowered two timber
gangways, up one of which climb the por
ters with trunks of fish upon their heads,
whilst down the other trip other porters
with their empty boies or trunks, as they
are indifferently called, ready for a fresh
load, These steamers may hive arrived
in the river during the early morning, or
they may ha-'e come late the previous af
ternoon: or, should your visit lie fixed for
Monday, they may have been there from
Saturday afternoou, lying lazily in the
suffocating weather, which is not calculat
ed to improve the flavor of the cargo. But
there are also ice ships about, and the
knowledge of their presence lends a senti
mental coolness to tiie atmosphere.
Now the streets become noisy with the
arrival of carriers' carts from the railways
whose system touch the sea, or carry river
tish from Scotland or from Ireland. Of
course the Irish and Scotch salmon are the
most highly prized, for those of the Eng
lish rivers are not rated so highly, and the
produce of the Norway rivers stand at the
lowest figurei n the market. But for this
class of fish the season is nearly if not com
pletely, at an end, for the speckled trout
goes out of fashion at the close of the par
liamentary session, with its lordly relative
the silver-coated salmon. Cod and skate,
which lie about in alt directions, are just
coining in, and while haddocks and plaice
seem numerous enough, turbot and oysters
are rather shy of putting in plentiful ap
pearance. Norway lobsters are not just
now ill season, so that one visiting the
market at present loses the sight of their
sorting in the "haddock-room," over the
ground floor market, a sight well worthy of
beholding.
As 6 and 7 o'clock approach, the busi
ness becomes fast and furious. The fish
arriving by boat and by rail are being rap
idly sold off, for the most part by auction.
There is but little time to haggle about
prices; the market figures are tolerably well
established almost from the moment the
gates are unbarred, and customers are too
anxious to obtain their required supply,and
to carry it off to different p*y Hof the me-
tropolis, to waste time in beating down
for pence, for shillings or even for pounds
sterling. From the steamers, and the
Dutch eel boats, hung with cages round
the aides, and fitted with wells inside to
keep the fish alive; from the heavy barges
laden with shrimps, which are shoveled
like grain into baskets, or with mud-color
ed bounders caught by and beyond filack
friars bridge, from the railway vans in the
narrow roadways, crowded with fiat-fish
and fresh-water fish, or with huge baskets
running over with slimy eels, the porters
make their way in and out of the market.
The numerous narrow by-ways that radiate
from the base of the "tall bully that lifts
its head and lies"—in Latin—ar thronged
with costermongers* carts and barrows, so
that for the general public these so-aalled
thoroughfares are positively impassable up
to 9 or 10 o'clock.
As the market exists, its business is car
ried on with all possible and tak
ing into consideration that its lowest cham
ber, which by the way, is scarcely ever
used, is ten feet below the level of the riv
er, it is kept remarkably dry. This has to
be effected, however, by means of steam
power, which keeps continually pumping
the water out from under the flooring and
which would if allowed to rise, flood the
building in -thirty-six hours. Strange to
say, too, this drainage is not water from
t he river, for it is perfectly pure and taste
tess, but it is supposed to percolate through
ho earth from the coal exchange opposite,
where it is said the Romans of old had es
tablished spring baths.
Vlctono'i Career.
The Indian chief Victorio, who was re
cently killed in Mexico, was an Apache
leader over seventy years old, short and
stout in build and of wonderful
skill and courage. Though his left
arm hung paralyzed by his side,
and his age was so great, he baffled
the unremitting pursuit of United States
and Mexican troops, pillaged anu murder
ed on both sides of our southern border and
fought scores of fierce combats. Up to
1877 he was a good Indian; but at that
time the Interior Department resolved to
remove him from the Hot Springs reserva
tion, where he had lived with his people
for ten years and began to make progress
in the arts of peace. Victorio refused to
submit to a removal to the Don Carlos re
servation but was forcibly transferred in
February 1877. He broke away after a six
months residence in his place of exile, but
was captured and brought back. He made
his escape a second time, and remained in
his place of refuge at the Hot Springs until
the Spring of 1879, when peremptory or
ders came for his transfer ana he became
an outlaw. In the latter part of April,
1879, Victorio with about thirty followers,
crossed the Sierra Solidad and the river
Joruedo del Muerto, stealing enough horses
at Alonnocito before crossing the river, to
mount his band, and went on to the Hot
Springs reservation. At Hot Springs, he
surprised six or eight men who were guard
ing Company "E," Ninth Cavalry, cap
tured forty-five horses, and killing the
whole guard rode away to Hillsboro and
McAllister's ranch. At this time General
Hatch, who had great influence over Vic
torio, was unfortunately ordered into the
Ute country. Only a day or two before
Victorio's desperate attack, General Hatch
had received permission to move him back
to Ojo Caliente reservation. Word was
sent immediately to Victorio, but either
the orders were not promptly obeyed or
they reached the now infuriated chief too
late. Victorio, when near to Hillsboro,
had meanwhile attacked a mining camp,
and eleven miners were killed, although
they bravely defended themselves. From
there Victorio went to McAllister's ranch,
which he burned, stealing more horses and
killing three men. Major Morrow, of the
Ninth Cavalry was following him, but Vic
torio was making a long circuit towards the
Black range and Membres mountains, and
the troops in pursuit fared hardly. In
these raids about twenty teamsters and
herdsmen were killed but Major Morrow
pushing down towards Messilla, drove his
foe towards Mexico. In Mexico, Victoria
made himself the terror of the frontier, and
crossing the border after numerous depre
dations, he was once more encountered by
Morrow and driven Dack only to renew his
bold incursions. The record of the pursuit,
the wonderful marches of the Indians and
our cavalrymen, and the desperate encoun
ters that took place from time to time,
reads like a romance. It is estimated that
this old chief, exasperated to war by in
justice, has within the course of eighteen
months killed 200 American citizens, 200
Mexicans and 100 soldiers, beside stealing
over 1000 horses and committing no end
of minor depredations.
Too Well Heeled.
Old Shockey, a penpainetic preacher,
well known in California, is such an ar
deut believer in Scripture that he is ready
to bet on any proposition that is laid down
in the Bible. A few weeks ago, he visited
the Lake, and stopped on Sunday at Glen
brook. Being nearly penniless, he deter
mined to give an exhortation, and securing
a ball called the sinners together. His
text was the marine episode, in which
Jonah was taken in by a whale.
"Now, my hearers, to the class of peo
ple who never look beyond the surface of
things this looks like a hard story to be
lieve, but I know that it is so, every word
of it."
He saw an incredulous look on the faces
of the hard cases in the front row, and
after pausing a moment, he continued:
4 Til bet any man in the crowd, SIOO,
that I can prove every word oi it. Does
anybouy respond?"
He thrust his hand down into his trouser
pocket and leaned forward. No one took
him up. He went on with his sermon,
showing conclusively that the whale did
all that was claimed of it, and then passed
around the hat.
44 He that giveth to the poor lendeth unto
the Lord," he said, as it went down the
row.
"Lay up your treasures in heaven, where
neither moths nor rust corrupt, nor thieves
break in and steal,'' he remarked, as he
saw the hat coming back.
It w r as handed back to him empty, and
he dismissed the audience with a hasty
benediction. After services he met one of
his hearers and complained bitterly of his
lack of coin and enthusiasm in the town.
44 We've eot the enthusiasm here, Par
son," said the man addressed, "but when
you bluffed us on a hundred dollar bet,
some thought you must be a road agent,
and the rest concluded that a man so web
heeled didn't need take up a collection iu
Glen wood."
NO. 48.