The Morphine Trick.
A few days ago one of the seediest
sort of tramps, seemingly about fifty
years old, attached himself to a free
lunch saloon on Monroe avenue, De
troit, and soon felt perfectly at home.
When ordered out he went out, but the
trouble was he wouldn't stay out. As
a last resort he was kicked out,but in an
hour he came baca and seemed so hum
ble and forgiving that the proprietor
didn't like to give hnn any more cow
hide. After a day or two a different
plan was tried The vag had several
times referred to a pain in his chest,
and the barkeeper mixed him up a cure.
In ten minutes after drinking it he was
excitedly Informed that he had been
given a large doze of morphine by mis
take. A party was at hand to play
doctor, and it was decided that the
tramp must walk until lie overcame the
lntluence of the drug. One and another
took turns with him until he had put in
about four hours in the back yard, and
he was then told to walk in the country
at least live miles to make his cure cer
tain. He took the case very coolly,
never protesting a word, and as he
started for the green fields it was sup
posed that the saloon had seen the last
of him. Nevertheless, he returned in
about four hours, lame in the left leg,
covered with dust, and apparently
almost exhausted. He said he had
walked in vain. Finding that death
was determined to claim him, he had
returned to die with his friends. Be
fore they could protest he fell to the
floor, breaking the back off a chair and
upsetting a table, and alter a few kicks
he was dead. A pint of good brandy
was wasted in rubbing him, the saloon
closed for an hour in the face of h big
business,and an undertaker and coroner
called before the old ehap let any one
known he wasn't dead. He came to in
some sort of fit which required a great
deal of kicking, and he took good care
that every kick counted on something.
When suflicieutly restored to sit up he
was given nearly half a pint of wine,
and as his strength increased he;,got
away with enough luncheon for four
men. It was deemed good policy to
hand him half a dollar and turn him
out upon the world. Just how much
profit the saloon keeper made in play
ing the morphine trick is what will
puzzle him for a week to come.
The Brinkerhoff Trap.
Knowing that a bald head is the one
temptation that no fly can resist, Mr.
Briukerhotl' has contrived a trap based
upon the knowledge of this fact. The
"Brinkerheft' fly-trap" consists of a life
size figure of a middle-aged man with
a bald head. The figure is made of
wax, colored so as to perfectly imitate
the complexion of a middle-aged and
healthy diner-out, and the head is so
constructed that at fixed intervals ot
fifteen minutes concealed clock-works
cause a roller to pass over the skull
with rapidity of lighting. The Brink
erkoff trap, when placed in any room,
will instantly attraet every fly present.
It is, to all appearance, precisely the
kind of man whom flies delight to
annoy, and consequently, the moment
& fly sees it, he will abandon a lump of
sugar, or a b>wl of milk, or even a
sleeping baby, and pounce on the bald
head. At the end of fifteen minutes
the roller passes over the head and
crushing every fly in its path. The
same process is repeated over ana over
again until all the flies in the room are
exterminated. The trap has been tried
in several of the leading restaurants in
Philadelphia with complete success,
killing, on an average, thirty full
quarts of flies per hour, and the inven
tor has received thousands of certifi
cates from leading citizens expressing
their obligations to him, and their de
termination never to be without a
Brinkerhoff trap.
An Intelligent Work-Home.
An amusing instance of equine in
telligence is related in regard to the
horse Paddy, doing steady and faith till
service in the Horton House, San Diego,
Californina, baggage wagon. Paddy
is stabled and well fed at Johnny Hin
ton's, and regularly every morning he
is harnessed to his wagon, and, unat
tended, goes directly to his wonted
stand In front of the main entrance to
the Horton House, where, all unno
ticed, he awaits patiently any requisi
tion which may be made for him. If the
morning is pleasant Paddy remains a
immovable as a rock till wanted; but if
the morning is cold, windy or damp,
after waiting a reasonable time, he de
liberately walks around to the eastern
end of the house and enters the horse
shed at the north-east corner, opposite
the Methodist church. In pert rming
this teat the horse makes two sharp
turns at right angles, and never strikes
post, sidewalks, or steps in so doing.
So regular is the horse in regard to
seeking shelter if the morning is dis
agreeable, that whenever anyone about
the house has occasion for Paddy's ser
vices, they invariable know whether to
go to the front or the side doors to find
him. On Friday morning the horse
was hitched up at the stable as usual,
and started for his accustomed place at
the front. As he left the stable, how
ever, the steamer Ancon was just round
ing the point off the foot of D street
on her way to the dock. Paddy, true
as steel, stopped, as is his regular cus
tom, but the porter failed to demand
his services as quickly as usual on
steamer days, so, remaining at hii post
until after the Ancon's gun was fired,
the horse took up his liue of march to
tlie wharf, evidently understanding
that he would be needed there as
soon as the passengers arrived at the
landing. After completing the labors
in which he was engaged at the time,
tlie porter was directed to go to the
wharf with Paddy, and started out for
that purpose. But Paddy was nowhere
to be seen. Thinking the stableboy
derelict in his duties, the porter pro
ceeded to the stable to "hurry up" mat
ters as it was getting late, and was as
tonished to learn that Paddy had been
sent out as usual. Diligent search
was then instituted for the missing
horse and wagon, when it was soon
learned that the animal had been seen
going down Fifth street toward the
wharf. JSure enough, Paddy had reach
ed the wharf in satety, and was there
found with the wagon backed up
against the platform as carefully as if
he had been guided by the porter him
self, and stood patiently w iting to
have his wagon tilled with baggage.
All the while the horse was looking
about him uneasily, as much as to say,
"Baggage for the llorton House—this
way, gentleman," and there is little
doubt if the horse had received his ac
customed load before the arrival of the
porter, he would have taken the same
to the house without accident.
A New Noelely I.hiirli.
One of the summer fashions is a new
laugh, which goes like this: "Te-he,
te-he! 11a, ha, ha! Gh-h-h-h —ha, ha,
ha!" The directions areas follows:
"A low and sly beginning is made with
the 'te-he,' as though mirth was strug
gling inside to break out through maid
enly reserve, and the mouth is kept
tightly closed, while the eyes are open
ed wide, thus giving an expresion of
mingled demureness and misehievous
ness. Then follows the 'Ha, ha, ha,'
higher and louder, with a parting of
the lips to show the teeth, it they be
white and regular. The 'Oh, li-li' comes
next in a tone ot surprise, reproof or
artless gayety according to the nature
of the thing laughed at, and the voice
rises into a pretty little scream. The
ensuing pause covers a sudden sense of
the impropriety of making so much
noise, the eyes are cast down, and a
blush can in most instances be pro
duced by holding the breath with the
lungs very fully inflated. The final
'Ha, ha, ha, is given as a crescendo,
spiritedly and without any show ot
restraint, like the outbursting hilaritv
of an unconventional milkmaid." This
novelty in laughs >s heard everywhere
in the metropolis and is sure to become
popular at the summer resorts. With
a little alteration it can be made to lit
any mouth.
Klrria of July-
In July one hundred anil eight species
of birds should be found in the Eastern
and Middle states. In that month many
! of the smaller birds have broods of young
ready to fly, and seem to tie placed in a
world of perplexity. Out in the apple tree
behind the house is the little lichen-cover
ed nest of a pair of least flycatchers. The
young have within a day or two left the
i nest, and the old birds hardly know what
to do with them. A passer-by throws the
parents into an agony of alarm. They flut
ter and chirp and refuse to be quiet until
the stranger is out of sight. There is con
tinually some cause for fear; now a cat
prowls through the grass and now a stray
crow black bird, whose taste for young fly
catchers is specially developed, flies so that
the poor flycatchers will not be at rest until
their \oung are strong enough to lly and
wise enough to be timid. Go into the
woods anywhere and you will find the
bird busied about their young, collecting
their food and teaching them how to fly.
Imitate the cry of a wounded bird by mak
ing a screeching noise with jour hps
I against the back of your baud and you will
soon be surrounded by eager throngs of
birds, all anxious to see if any of their little
i ones have fallen into your clutches. Go
into the pine groves, remain quiet for
a while and you will see restless little
, chickade, black throated green warblers,
black and white creepers, red eyed vircoe,
Wilson's thrushes, blue jays and others
less common. Pass from the grove of alders
and birches, and bordered by a swamp,
and you will find a very different display
of birds life. Here will be found the
Maryland yellow throat, and with him
will come the song sparrow, the brown
thrush, the chewink, the cat bird, and red
winged blackbird, the summer yellow
; warbler and the indigo bird. Our mixed
woods of chesnut, oak, maple, pine, bircli,
i are rich in bird life. Listen for the sligh
j est rustle in the leaves, watch for the sway
ing of a twig, for these slight signs reveal
the presence of some modest songster
whose delicate beauty surpasses that of the
richest fabrics, and whose graceful move
ments charm the fortunate observer who
can find and see our birds at home. The
first bird to attract attention will be the
chesnut sided warbler, with his pretty yel
| low cap and chesnut sides; and, some
where in these woods; you will not fail to
see warbling vireos, wood pewees, blue
yellow-backed warblers, red starts, oven
birds, and downy woodpeckers. By rare
good fortune you may catch a glimpse of a
roee-breasted gro?!>eak,or of a scarlet tana
' ger, that brilliant king of the woods,whose
bright crin son plumage instantly attracts
your eye as he swings easily along the top
most branches. Npt alone in the woods,
but take a stroll in the meadow, with one
who keeps his eyes and ears open, and
learn the birds there. Meadow larks;
bobolinks; field, grass, yellow-winged, and
Savannah sparrows; cow black birds; and
i many others fly about you. or spring up
j almost under your feet. Climb the stone
wall and sit down under the orchard
boughs and watch. Here we see orioles,
\ king-birds, cherry-birds, pbcehes, golden
winged woodpeckers, chipping sparrows,
cuckoos, bluebirds, and the swift swallow,
all active and full of business, hunting
i down and killing the caterpillar, destroying
the curculios, and the new laid eggs of the
I "army worm" moth, carrying devastation
into the ranks of the "cut worm" moth,
j and proving themselves the best friends of
! the agriculturist by destroying the many
; insects injurious to vegetation.
m ••
Cheerfulness.
Cheerfulness should be regarded as a
duty, because it lias much to do with our
own individual happiness and the happi
ness of those around us. We should there
fore endeaver under all circumstances to
: cultivate a cheerful disposition, and hope
. fully look upon the bright side of things,
; rather than on that which is gloomy and
i disheartening. Life, in its best phases,
j has its trials and difficulties, and much that
: is calculated to depress the spirits, but it is
i unmanly to yield to these discouragement o ,
; and become gloomy and sad under what,
i perhaps after all, is a blessing in disguise,
! calculated to develop tlie highest Christian
: graces and cast our character into a model
lof great moral beauty. But while life has
its ills, it has also its joys, anif these are
far more numerous than its sorrows. A
j proper consideration of the comforts and
blessings which surround us, of the kind
care which our Heavenly Father exercises
over us, and of the prospect of ultimate
j deliverance from all sorrow and pain, should
' sustain our minds, inspire us with courage,
and enable us cheerfully to endure.
A NEW YORK engraver recently
made this mistake: "Mr. and Mrs.
respectfully request your pres
ents at a marriage of their daughter.
AGRICULTURK.
Promptness in Farm Work—There
are few things more important to suc
cess in farming than promptness in ex
ecuting all necessary farm work. In
the planting, cultivation and harvest
ing of all farm crDps it is essential that
the work be done in time, for delay is
liable to result in loss, if not in entire
failure. Work done too late is rarely
as effectual as that done in season, be
sides being often much more expensive.
For instance : if the cultivation of a field
of corn, when weeds are starting thick
or fast, is delayed a week too long, the
work becomes much more laborious and
costly, and besides the crop is perma
nently injured. In such cases the
work of cultivation Increases by a ratio
with each day it is delayed, if the
planting of a field of corn is delayed a
week too late, it may not have time to
become fully developedbefore autumn
al frosts, thus causing loss, A farmer
habitually behind with his work is
not a good farmer, lie proves his ina
bility to manage his business properly.
Such a farmer, like a man in debt, ami
paying Interest, labors under a disad
vantage. lie either attempts too little
help, or, as is frequently the case, uses
too little head work. if we wish al
ways to be prompt witli our work we
must employ some thought in our busi
ness. Forethought is one of tiie far
mer's beat servants. It will, it prop
erly guided, enable us to arrange our
business that our work, shall be done
at the right time. If we do not think
of our work until it is time to do it,
we will almost always find unexpected
circumstances which will cause more or
loss delay. The successful farmer sees
and provides lor emergencies before
they arise, and lays out a plan of action
at the commencement of every piece of
work. Right here we believe is the
line that often exists between good and
poor farmers, or those who are not.
Til* successful farmer takes great in
terest in his work, and is continually
looking ahead or forecasting, so that, he
is never in doubt what to do or how to
do it. The successful iarmer employs
little thought in his business, lays few
careful plans, and when emergencies
arise lias no provisions made to meet
them, and thus, often gets behind with
and in his liaste to "catch
up" with it. suffers loss, tor "haste
makes waste."
VAI.UK OK PARSNIP*—For spanning
over the season "between hay and
grass" there is nothing better than
parsnips. They are the only roots
that will remain in the ground all win
ter without injury from freezing.
Th may be dug jnu\ fed to stock at
any time after the frost is out of the
soil till they begin to leave our. For
eows giving milk in early spring they
are excellent, llorses, sheep and pigs
will also eat them readily, if they are
boiled or steamed pigs and fowls prefer
them to almost any kind of food. Pars
nips are extensively raised lor feeding
fowls in France and Belgium. When
designed for fa toning fowls for the ta
ble they are first boiled or steamed and
then fried in cheap fat. The parsnip
is more valuable tor human food than
most persons suppose. They should be
first boiled and then cut in thin slices
an 1 fried in lard, butter or "drippings"
till tlie surface is brown.—Cooked in
this way tliey are excellent when
served with ham or roast meat. No
edible root is as easily raised in this
country as the parsnip. Our climate
is not favorable to the production of
turnips, but parsnips may be raised
with very little trouble. They should
be planted in drills from two to three
feet apart, and thinned out so that the
plants have a space of about four inches
between them. If cultivated by hand
the rows may be only eighteen inches
apart. It is necessary to cultivate the
plants by hand. Alter they have at
tained considerable B'ze the foliage will
shade the ground so that little cultiva
tion is necessary. Five hundred bush
els per acre is an average yield.
To DKSTOYTUECABBAUK WORM—The
complaint still continues of the rava
ges of tlie cabbage-worm and a demand
tor a remedy for it. In ati agricultural
journal, a few weeks ago, a correspond
ent told of his troubles last year and
that they were already beginning this
season, and asked for some way to dis
lodge the worm. Several knowing
persons responded, and in looking over
their remedies we did not re.ai d one
of them as furnishing what wa need
ed. But we can tell the enquirer and
all others what is a remedy for the
cabbage worm, which is within every
one's reach, if it is properly applied.
It is simply to sprinkle over the parts
of cabbage plant where the worm us
ually operates, a pinch of cayenne or
red pepper. Nothing more or less. —
Keep a few ounces 011 hand and
use it when needed, but use It carefully
so as to reach ttie insect, and it will
promptly dislodge it.
POULTRY YARDS—Every chicken
house should have an ample yard or
grass run, Never clip the wings of
fowl* it it can be avoided; it disfigures
the bird, prevents tlie right use of tlie
wings, and consequently they will not
tlirive as well. They should have
small trees or grape vines for shade, or
to scrateh under. Ground bone, sul
phur, charcoal and cayenne pepper
should be administered every eight or
ten days. Sulphur, pepper and char
coal, a teaspoon!ill mixed with tlie
morning feed, v. ill contribute much to
the health and appearance of the fowls.
Fowls should have meat once a week.
Cabbages, apples, lettuce, etc., all are
good, and will more than pay for their
cost in the increased supply of eggs.
Y'oung chickens should be kept dry
and clean, at the same time having
pure air. They should have an abun
dance of fresh water. They should
not have access to stagnant pools or any
kind of slops.
.As milk and cream are great absor
bents of impuritieg 111 confined air, we
have frequently suggested that every
care should be exercised in keeping
milk rooms perfectly pure and clean.
Tbe firkins should be filled the day be
fore needed with boiling water, and in
an hour mixed with cold water. Per
fect cleanliness is a very important
consideration from the milking of the
cow until the butter is brought to mar
ket.
Fungi on Glaus. —Professor James W.
Ward, of Buffalo, discovered lately a
fungous growth formed on panes of
glass, and presented a theory that they
were due to human exhalations, or
confined breath. AMr Thos. Gaffield
writes to a paper making short work of
the fungi, by stating that ho is a prac
tical glass-maker and has often seen
such appearances on giass, which are
nothing but elllorescence upon the sur
face, due to the excess of soda or po
tash, and can be removeu by using
skillfully hydrolluoric acid. Profes
sor Ward, in reply, tones down his
original statement considerably, and
admits many errors, but still holds on
to the theory that there are fungi.
And so tbe matter retsforthe present.
It appears to us a pity Professor Ward
did not cure the supposed fungi with
nitric acid, which would, we suppose,
at once destroy any vegetable such
as a fungi, and thus settle the point.
DOMESTIC.
How TO MAKK COKFKK. — With All thf
new-fangled coffee pots and numerous
inventions In this line, the secret ol
making coffee Is a very simple one. It
is only to get the delicious oily sub
stances out of the grounds and hold it
lu the hot water before it Hies off in
the air all over the house. Very re
freshing it is to smell the collee boil
ing in the kitchen whereon the front
door opens, hut what goes out on the
air is lost to the coffee pot. A common
practice with cooks Is to grind their
coffee over night, and put It to boil a
halt an hour before breakfast time. It
does boll, and sometimes the brown
fluid that Is poured out of the coffee pot
afterwards has only its brown color to
tell it by. All that makes It delicious
has gone out in steam up the chimney.
The usual coffee receipts give too much
water, for they allow room for some to
boil away. There is no need of that.
Therefore, a pint of boiling wafer, In
stead of a quart, to a cup full of ground
coffee is a better proportion. Mix the
coflee with euough cold water to make
it a paste, beat it a little with a spoon.
Hut the precise quantity of water you
desire into your bright tin coffee pot,
which must always be kept bright if
you want good coffee. At the moment
it boils turn Into it your coffee paste
and set it back from the tire, where it
will keep hot, but not boll. The aroma
ol the coffee does not pr>ur out of the
spout, but remains within, and the
coffee rather steeps than simmers. This
is the true way togetallof Its strength.
When just ready to serve draw it for
a moment over the fire to bring it to
the boiling point, but not longer.
Then carry to table in the pot it is
made in. Coffee made in this way
should be beautifully clear, without
the clearing ot an egg. When the egg
Is used, either the shells can be thrown
into the coffee paste or the white
turned in on it and stirred, but not
beaten. The advantage of making cot
lee in this way is that a small quantity
goes further, and that it can be always
ready for the breakfast bell, even if
prepared some time before. The bright
metal pot keeps it hot, where the
blackened or smoked tin lets it get
cool too fast.
No HonplUl Needed.
Xo palatial hospital needed for Hop
Bitters patients, nor large-salaried tal
ented puffers to tell what Hop Bitters
will do or cure, as they tell Hieir own
story by their certain and absolute
cures at home.— Xevo York Independent.
TOC'ROCUKT A BABY'S Blß. —Make a
chain of 38 stitches, widening in the
middle, by making two stitches in the
19th loop. Turn, and I). C. back al
ways throughout 'be work, putting the
hook in the outside halt ol the loop,
amd widening always in the middle.
Continue thus back and forth until
you can count 15 of these "ribs." fas
ten and break off the cotton. Then
muke a new chain of 55 stitches and
fasten it with the hook to the upper
corner ot the piece you have crocheted
{opposite the corner where you broke
off the thread, to make the rib come
rightly), crochet down the side of the
bib, widen at the corner, then across
the bottom, widening at the center and
at the earner, then crochet up the other
side, and then make a chain of 55
stitches, without breaking off the
thread. Turn, work back around the
bib, and out to the end of the chain on
the other side, always widening at the
corners and in the middle, and always
taking the back of the loop. Continue
this until you can count eight ribs on
tbo side; then finish with any pretty
edge you may fancy, and put cord and
tassel of tiie cotton on to tie it on with.
SUKFKR not disappointment by em
ploying too many "cures —but tor
the diseases of Infancy use Dr. Bull's
Baby Syrup which never disappoints,
and costs only 25 cents a bottle.
LIVER AND BACON. — One halt pound
calf's liver, half pound of bacon ; slice
this last thin, and cutoff the rind, and
put in frying pan and cook for live
minutes over a moderate tire. Take the
bacon Irom the pan, put into a hot dish,
and set aside in the oven to keep hot.
Put the sliced liver into the tat drawn
from the bacon in the frying pan. J.et
it fry for ten minutes, and remove to
the bacon dish. J>tir into the pan a
half ounce of tiour; when it is brown
ed, add half a pint of soup stock, it you
have any on hand; salt, pepper and a
dessert spoonful of catsup. Stir this
till it boils, then pour over liver and
bacon, and serve.
VKGETINB is acknowledged by all
classes of people to be the best and most
reliable blood puritier in the world.
YEAST FROM GRAPH LHAVES. — Grape
leaves make a yeast in some respects
superior to hops, an the ir.'ad li-es
sooner, and ha- not the peculiar taste
which many object to in that made
from hops. Use eight or ten leaves
for a quart of yeast; boil them for
about ten minutes, and then pour the
hot liquor on the flour, the quantity of
the latter being determined by whether
the yeast is wanted thick or thin. Use
hop yeast to raise it to begin with, and
afterward that made of grape leaves.
I)rh d leaves will be as good as Irish,
if a dark film appears upon the surface
when rising, a little stirring will obvi
it.
CEMENT FOR GENERAL USE.— For
joining paper, card-board, or model
work, or similar articles, a good glue
can be made of glue, vinegar and alco
hol. Dissolve two ounces of the best
transparent glue in a quarter of a pint
of strong cider vineger. Let it simmer
slowly by placing the dish containing
it in a dish of boiling water. When it
has beome liquid, add one ounce of
highest proof alcohol, and keep it
tightly corked. If solidified by colli,
heat in hot wafer when needed for use.
Diluted acetic acid may be substituted
for the cider vinegar.
I F the Baby is to have health, it must
have sound and refreshing sleep. Dr.
Bull's Baby Syrup insures this. Price
25 cents a bottle.
VKGETAHLH (JI'HKY. —Cut someonions
into thin slices, and fry them a good
brown In butter, add a breakfast cupful
of milk, in which a teaspoonful of
curry powder has been mixed ; let all
boil together for twenty minutes, stir
ring the whole time; then add the
vegetables previously parboiled, and
let the whole simmer by the side of the
fire for about an hour. Potatoes, peas,
b an 8, carrots and turnips can be used,
but broad beans alone make a delicious
carry.
NEURALGIA REMEDY. —Prepare horse
radish, by grating and mixing in vine
gar, the same as for table purposes,
and apply to the temple when the face
or head is affected, or the wrist, when
the pain is in the arm or shoulder.
TVTIKN leaving-hn me for t i ie summer, the pru
dent provide iheinselw-s with Dr. Jayne's car
minative Balsam, in order to treat promptly
and effectua Iv all attacus or Cramp, Diarrhoea,
Dysentery, Cholera Morbus, <fco.—complaints
more or less prevalent everywhere at this sea
son or the year.
HUMOROUS.
A LADY called at a store on Winter
street, the other day, and inquired of
a polite salesman wito was measuring
fringe: "Do you keep buttons?"
"Oppo 1 ite, madame, if you please,"
said tie, as lie paused in ids work, and
showed a row ol very white teeth. To
his dismay she walked deliberately out
of the door and crossed the street to a
rival establishment. The young man
did not lose his situation, but lie got a
blowing up that made him think
Fourth of duly bud come again with
even more than its wonted explosive
ness. When anybody asks for buttons
now, fie bars the passage to the door
with his yard-tick, and points ener
getically, wlille lie exclaims, "Opposite
counter!" witli a special emphasis on
the last word. He is determined not
to be caught again at the game of but
ton, who's got the button or to suffer
from a counter movement.
A liroitt SnittrprlM
The Hop Bitters Manufacturing Com
pany is one of Rochester's greatest busi
ness enterprises. Their Hop Bitters
have readied a sale beyond all prece
dent, having from their intrinsic value
found their way into almost every
household in tiie land.—Graphic.
AH H crowded car was passing up
Last Broadway, a gentleman in tiie ear
punched the driver in the back with
his cane, and said : "1 expect that lady
wants to dde." The driver, supposing
the gentleman had seen the lady signal
the ear, put on the brakes and waited
for the lady, who weighed about two
hundred pounds, to come up, which
she did, and passed on without getting
in. "What made you think that lady
wanted to ride ?" growled the driver.
"Because she was walking, my dear
fellow. It is only those who are walk
ing outside of the ear who want to get
inside. You never noticed that, did
you? .Never mind, I'll get you another
passenger directly," ami lie gazed in
tently down a cross street for the next
pedestrian.
"WHAT will you paint a couple of
landscapes in oil lor?" asked a chair
dealer the other day of a celebrated ar
tist. Very reasonable, as business is
dull," replied the artist. "Well, I
will let you know when you can com
mence." After waiting some two
months, the artist, meeting the chair
dealer asked if lie was ready. "Xo,
sir, my chair painter is doing it.
IN THK past eight years, scores of
soaps have come into the market, and
being worthless, have died a natural
death. Dobbins' Electric boap, (made
by Cragln A Co., Phila.,) old and reli
able, leads the van. Try it.
AN attorney brought an immense
hill to a lady for some business he had
done for her. The lady, to whom he
once paid liis addresses, murmured at
the charges. "Madam," replied the
limb of the law, "J wanted to convince
you that my profession is lucrative,
and that I should not have been a bad
match.
A FELLOW once walked out of a store
in (Houcoster with a fish which lie had
stolen tucked under his vest, lie hadn't
gone far with his plunder before he
was brought to a halt by a shrewd
passer-by, who taking in the situation
at a glance, exclaimed, "see here my
friend, you ought either to wear longer
vests or steal shorter fish."
A UAGGAGB car with fifty trunks and
a lot of other baggage was burned near
Milford, Del., a few days ago, and the
baggage sma*her has been prostra ed
with grief ever since. lie had felici
tated himself upon having one more
wrestle with these trunks, and the dis
appointment has shattered his nervous
system.
AN amusing story is told of athrifcy
housebolder in Newburyport. Massa
chusetts, who travels on a season
ticket to and from Boston, and having
purchased a bedstead in that city, car
ried it home piecemeal to save freight
charges.
IT is said that the deepest gorge in
the world has been discovered in Col
orado. We always had the impression
that the biggest gorge in this country
might be witnessed at a railway sta
tion where the train stops "five min
utes for lunch."
IF you are hairless and cappy there
is one way and no more by which you
may be made careless and happy—use
CAKBOI.INK, a deodorized extract of
petroleum, it will positively make new
hair grow.
A STOCK company has been organized
in ilie East for the manufacture of
plows. We don't want to hold any of
its shares. There is 110 harder work
than to hold a plow share—when a
couple of horses are pulling the plow.
A it KK sting is said to he a sure re
lief for rheumatism. Those who have
tried it say you don't think of the
rheumatism for several hours after the
application.
FOUR hundred thousand dollars is
the reported loss of the suspended First
National Bank of Newark, and still the
directors profess not to know where
the money is.
WHEN reform spelling becomes uni
versal a dime novel hero can write "I
kuni uv a prowd and liotty race" with
out giving himself dead away as regards
his early education.
"IF I should put 011 green glasses
and view tills class, would I not be
deceived in their appearance?" "Well
—llO, 1 don't tlilnk you would."
A BLIND hegga-in Paris wears this
Inscription around his neck: ''Don't
be ashamed to give only a sou. I *an't
see."
Rational Treatment, Roaitlve Cure*.
Dr. R. V. Pierce, President of the
World's Dispensary Medical Associa
tion, is in earnest in selling his medi
cines under positive guarantees, and if
anybody who purchases and uses any
of these widely celebrated remedies,
does not derive benefit therefrom, the
Association would like to hear from
that person with description of symp
toms and history of case. Organized
and incorporated, as the Association is,
to teach medicine and surgery and for
the successful treatment of all chronic
diseases and managing annually thou
sands of cases through our original
method of diagnosis withofut ever see
ing the patients, and having the larg
est sanitarium in the world for the ac
commodation of the more complicated
cases, and also lor surgical cases, the
Faculty feel themselves prepared to
undertake even the most discouraging
cases. They resort to all the best re
medial means known to modern medi
cal science—neglecting nothing. Ad
dress, World's Dispensary Medical As
sociation, Buffalo, N. Y., or Great
Russell street Buildings, London, Eng.
DR. PAYNK, in hid lecture nnon the
Foe and Grace, Hays that Dyspepsia is
a great Foe to Grace. It darkens the
sky and breaks the hopes of many Chris
tians. They think the trouble is in their
hearts, when it is in their stomachs.
Thus the stomach influences the feel
ings to such a degree that it should be
111 >re carefully looked after and regu
lated with the never failing Sinupons'
Liver Regulator, the constant use of
which will so Improve the feelings as
to make the heart happy and spirits
Jight. It isa well-known fact that food,
ill digested, but imperfectly nourishes
the system, as it is only partially as
similated by the blood. Sufferers with
Dyspepsia, whose circulation is im
poverished and nerves weakened, ex
perience a rapid and decided improve
ment in their physical and mental con
dition by the use of Simmons' Liver
Regulator. Try it, and you will be as
tonished at the good results.
4. rcut I'rulMC.
Albert CI. Maun, of Cottage Homo, UL, nays:
"lliave been prostrated lor three or more
year* with Kidney Disease, at times I was not
able to put ou my boots, my wife has often
pulled them on for me. 1 was not so bad as
that all the time, but 1 never knew what it
was to be without pa n in my back until I
commenced using Hunt's Remedy. H.noe I
commenced taking Hunt's Remedy I have
been free from ail pain, and take pleasure in
saying that it is the best medicine that I ever
knew for Kidney and Liver Diseases." Trial
s.ze, 75 cents.
RFDIMKNT or mucous in the urine is a sure
Indication of disoasa Take Kiduey-Wort and
be cured before it is too late. Use Kidney-
Wort aud rejoice in health. One package
makes six quarts of medicine, safer, purer,
and w re effectual thau auy bitters or pills.—
PATRIOT.
Tha Voltaic licit Co., Marshall, Mick.
Will send their celcbra ed Electro VoHaie
Belts to the afflicted upon 30 days'* tnaL
Speedy cures guaranteed. They mean what
they say. Wnte to them without delay.
VEGETINE
Purifies the Blood, Renovates and
Invigorates the whole System.
ITS MEDICINAL PROPERTIES ARB
Alterative* Tonic* Solvent
and Diuretic.
Vegatine is made exclusively from the Juices
of carefully-selected barks, roots and herbs, and
so strongly concentrated that It will effectually
eradicate from the system evorr tilnt of Scro
fula, berof 11 lons Jinnior,Taraors, Cass
err. ('niireron* Humor, FryslpeUs,
ball Khrnni Sy philitic Disease*, Can
ker, T'.iltiluesM at the btwiuac-H. and all
ois- a-es th;II aiis*fr M impure blood, bel
attea, I nil. .minatory and Cbronle Rheu
matism, NEURALGIA, Lout and bplnal
Complaints, can only be effectually cured
through tne blood.
For Uleer* and F.rnptlve Diseases of tbs
bk In, IMistnlss. Pimples, Blotches,
Bolls, Tetter, bralilbead and KLUG
sorin, VEGETINE IUU> never failed to effect A
peimanent cure.
For Pains Un the Back. Kidney Complaints,
Dropsy. FEMALE weakness, Leueorrbaea, arising
FROM Internal ulceration, and uterine diseases
andOenet&L DeulUty. VEGKTINE acts directly
upon the causes or these complaints. It Invigo
rates and strengthens the whole system, > cts
upon Ibe s eretlve organs, allays Inflammation
cures ulceration and re A'MATES the bowels.
For Catarrh, Dyspepsia, Habitual Costlvenesa,
. alpltailon of the Heart, Headache, Piles, Nerv
ousness and General Prostr*uon of the Nervous
Fystera. no medicine has ever given such per
fect satisfaction as the VEMETINE. It purifies
the blood, cleanses all of T>> organs, and pos
sesses a CONTINUING POWV over th* nervous
system.
The remarkable cures etketed by Vegetans
have In luced many pbysiokns and apotheca
ries whom we know, to and use it In
their own families.
IN fact, Vegetlne IS the est remedy yet dla
covered for the above and Is the only
reliable BLOOD PUKIFIBTret placed before
the public.
Vegetlne.
PREPARED HY
11. R. STEVENS, Boston. Mass.
Vegetlne Is Sold by all Druggists.
■ The Only Remedy B
That lets at the Same Time on
■Tile liver, The Bowels and The KidneysH
LI This combined action qlvee it wonderful M
power to cure-all disease*. W
j Why Are We Sick ?H
■ Because we allow these great organs to ftr-IL
Wwcome clogged or torpid, and poisonous A"-f 1
11 mors ore therefore forced into tks bloodud
should be expelbd naturally. ■
15 Biliousness, Piles, Constipation, Kldn-yfl
■■ Complaint* and DIICISP*, Weak- M
nesses and Nervous Disorder*.
■fifty causing jrse action of these organs ondß
g their power to throir of disease. U
M Why Suffer Billons pains and arhes! ■
■I Why tormented with Piles.Constipation YUI
| m Why frightened over disordered Kidneys 111
I Why end ore nervnns er sick hesdacheul I
M hy have sleepless night* I
W§ Die KIDNEY WOKT and rejoice INLL
VW health. It is a dry,vegetable compound ardJS
Mone psekajre wtll make six qtaof Medletae.H
H Get a of your Druggist, he will order
for you. Price, SI.OO.
mM WILLS, SI3LL3IS3JI k CO., Frcprlston, 111
| | (Will wod rod paid.) llurllngtoa. VK, |
KLYRRRAH! Hur-a I I From Mexico to Maine,"
(A* the GR> nt C IMPIIRN Song. Price. 33 cents,
mniled by music de tiers, or the Chicago Music Co.,
Publishers.
FRKE ' A MUiral Journal . Ad's F. Brehro, Erie, Pa
M F A L'KAK ex pens s and sgts
HK IFF Outfit Free. Address Jto P.
VJR 111 VICKEHY, Augusta, Maine.
Those answering an ADVERTISEMENT WIL
confer a uvor npon the Advertiser and the
Publisher bystating that they saw the adver
lismsnt In thlstonma Vosmlrs the paper)-
KIDNEY DISEASES, °?R8 T Kta?"
are quickly and rarely cured by the CM of KXDNHY-WOIIT. This new and wonderful remedy which la
having rachan immenae "i" in all parte of the oountry, works on natural principled. It restored strength
and tone to the diseased organs, and through them cleanses the system of aoonmnlated and poisonous
humors. Kidney diseases of thirty years standing have been cured, also Piles, Constipation, Rheumatism,
fco., which have distressed the victims for years. We have volumes of testimony of Its wonderful curative
power. No longer use Aloholio Bitters, which do more harm than good, or drastic pills, but uaenatvree
remedy. KXDNKY-WOBT, and health will be quickly regained. Get It Of TOUT Druggist, Price. SI.
(Will send post paid.) WELLS, RICHARDSON A CO., Barlhigtaa, V%.
The remedial management of those diseases peculiar to women has afforded a large experience at
the World's Dispensary ami Invalids' Hotel, in adapting remedies for their cure. Many thousands ol
cases have annually I teen treated. Dr. PlerccV Favorite Prescription Is the result of this extended
experience, ami has become justly celebrated for Its many and remarkable cures of all those chronic dis
eases and
WEAKNESSES PECULIAR TO FEMALES. -
Favorite Prescription is a powerful Restorative Tonic to the entire svstein. It is a nervine of un
surpassed eltlcacy, and while, it quiets nervous irritation, it strengthens the enffeebled nervous system,
thereby restoring it to licalthful vigor. The following diseases are among those in which the Favorite
I rescrlptlon has worked cures as if by magic, and with a certainty never before attained, viz: Leueor.
rh<i*H| tici-Mlve flowing: painful menstruationj imiiHturnl *upprvMloin| weak backs prolapsus, or
falling of the uterus} uutevemlon; retroversion; bearing-down ncnsalion; chronic congestion. Inflnia
inatlon, find ulceration; Interim! bent; nervous depression; nervous uud sick headache; debility;
und barrenness, or sterility, when not caused by stricture ot the neck of the wotnh. When the latter
condition exists, we can, liy oilier means, readily remove the Impediment to the bearing of aflkprlng
(see Invalids' Guide Rook, sent for one stamp, or the Medical Adviser).
Favorite Prescription is sold under a positive guarantee. For conditions, see Wrapper around bottle.
"DO LIKEWISE." —Mrs. E. F. Morgan, of New Castle, Lincoln Co., Maine, says. "Five years ago I
was u dreadful sufferer from uterine troubles. Having exhausted the skill of three physicians, I was
completely discouraged, and so weak I could with difficulty cross the room alone. I began taking
vour 'favorite Prescription' and using the local treatment in your' Common Sense
Medical Adviser.' I commenced to improve at once. In three months I was perfectly cured, and
have had no trouble since. I wrote a letter to mv family paper, briefly mentioning how my health had
been restored, and ottering to 6end the full particulars to any one writing me for them and enclosing
a stamped envelope for reply. I have received over four Hundred letters. In reply, I have descrilied
my case and the treatment used, and earnestly advised them to 'do likewise.' From a great many I
have received second letters of thanks, stating that they had commenced the use of Favorite Prescrip
tion, sent for the 'Medical Adviser,' and applied the local treatment so fully and plainly laid down
therein, and were much lietter already." _ Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription is sold by all druggists. 0
£ EVERY INVALID LADV should read "The People's Common Sense Medical Adviser," in which
ov,, rntty pages are devoted to the consideration of those diseases peculiar to Women. Sent, post-paid,
lor Address, WORLD'S DLSPEXS4RY MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, BIFFALO, 5. X.
ho suiter
|W _ STOMACH
SITTERS
lrv ah Injunction on Dlaeasa
By Invigorating a feeb.c constitution, renovat
ing a debilitated pbys que. and enriching a tliln
and Innutiitloua circulation wiiii liostetter'i
Stoma .n li tters, the finest, the most lilghly
sanctioned, and the most popul ir tonic and
preventive in existence. For sale by all Drug
gists and Dealers generally.
SHOP BITTER^
(A Medicine, not a Drink,)
CONTAINS • I
ll oris, menu, MANDRAKE,
DANDELION.
■ AM. THE P CREST AND BestMEDICALQCALI ■
TIES or ALL OTHER BITTERS.
TIIEY CUItE
All Diseases of the Stomach, Bowels, Blood,!
Liver. Kidneys, and Urinary Organs. Ner- I
vousnesa, Sleetilcssneasand especially
Female Complaints.
SIOOO IN COLD. -^B
Will be paid for a case tbey will not c-ure or!
help, or for anything impure or Injurious I
found In them.
Ask your druggist for Hop Bitters and try!
them before you sleep. Take an Other.!
D.i C Is an absolute and Irresistible cure for!
Drunkeueaa, use of opium, tobacco and
narcotics.
mmmamm astro FOB CUKTLIS. ■■■■
All atxrre told by drngritU.
HOD HI tun M Co. f Rotbaal ft, N. Y. t k Turcxsto, o*iH
0. DitSOll & Co. fcre Sole Agents the
United States for the extensive catalogue
Novel's Musical Publications.
Atimne Ibem are more thin a thousand Anthem. aud
Ch'.ru.ea, Part-Song and Glee Books, Cantata*, Or*
torios, Operas, Ac., Ac. Send for Catalogue.
We call sp-cial attention to the valuable series ot
Primers or Kasy Instruction Books, of wh'cn very
popular ones are, THE RUDIMENTS OF MUSIC,
ifiO cental, by Cummins*. THE ARI OF PIANO
FORTE PLATING.(iII, by l'suer. THE ORGAN,
(91).b Dr. Siainer. SINGING,! 92). by Rand-it
ger MUSICAL FORMS, ,91), by Pauer. HAR
MONT, (91). by Dr. Stainer. INSTRUMENTA
TION,(9D, by Prout, and THE VIOLIN,(91), by
Tours.
Send for Gen. Garfield's Grand March, (40 cti.) and
Hancock's Campaign March. (40 cts.l Fine Musk
and elegant portraits of the Preside..tial Caudiaates.
Teichers will not fail to examine, during the sum
mer, the books need d foriheir winter's wort. We
mention THE TEMPLE, (fl), and THE VOICE OF
WORSHIP. (9D for Singing School* and Choirs'
and for t.e latter, THE AMERICAN ANTHEM
BOOK, ( §1.25) and EMERSON S ANTHEM BOOK.
(91 26) For nigh Schools. THE WELCOME OHO
BUS.<9U; for Common Schoo e, SONG BELLS,
(SO rents), nearly ready; for Sunday Schools. WHITE
ROBES. (.IO cer,t':aud tor Temperance work, TEM
PER AKCE JEWELS(3S eta.band TEMPERANCE
LIGHT,( 2c nts) All are first-class books. Don't
fail to examine.
Oliver Ditson & Co., Boston.
J . E. DITSON A CO. 1228 Chestnut St.. Phils
MICROSCOPES,
1 wfi Opera Glasses. Thermometers, Eye Glasses,
S, ectacies, Barom lers, at (treatly Reduced Prices.
R. & J. BECK,
Manufacturing Opticians, Pbiladelphia. Send 3
stamps for illustrated Catalogue of 144 pages, aud
mentioti this paper.
TRY THE NEW YORK OBSERVER.-
Ml 71 tc swindled. Before >ou buy any Klectrt
'l cal He.t, Battery or Medical Appliance,
X Address Dr. D> e, Box 164J, Boston, M*ss.
"/T7X EL GI N W ATC HES
> All -tylvs Gold, Silver and Nickel, 94
to 91'. ChitßS, etc. .sent C. O.'D. to
be examined* Write for Catalogue to
-TANDAKD AM Ib. CAN WATCH
0., Pittsburgh, Pa.
MAKE HENS LAY
A> Knglis 1 Ysternary Surgeon and Chemist, new
traveling in t his country, says thet most of the Here*
and Cattle Powders here are worthless trash. He
leys that ehefidan's Condition Powders are abso
lutely pure aad Immensely valuable. Nothing on
earth will make bene lay like Sberidank Condition
Powders. Done, ens teaspoon to on- pint of (bed.
fold everywhere, or sent by mall for eight letter
1 tamps. I. B. JOHNSON A CO., Banger, Me.
IF YOU WOULD BB PROPERLY
VJK suited with spectacles. apply or
correspond to
DR. N. C. GRAY, Optician,
28 N. TWELFTH Street,
Philadelphia. Pa.
Are sold by all Hard ware and Harness Dealers. Them
la no one owning a horse or male but what will find in
this line of goods, something of great value, and es
pecially adapted to their wants. COVERT M"F*G CO,
WEST TROT. N. Y, Sole Manufacturers.
SAPONIFIER
k t .H°i , . ] Wl l £ U Oo*emitrafei Lye for FAMILY
lOAP MAKING. Directions aceompany each can
2 r . n '*^ 1 e Hard. Soli and Tolled Seap gnicaly.
K is lull weight and strength.
ASK FOR SAPONIFIER,
AND TAKE NO OTHER.
PIIH'A IALT HASira CO., PHILAR'A
AHIIIII Morphine Habit Cared In 10
JPIiIM Napay nil cared.
Wfi lUIfP L>K. J. STEPHENS. Lebanon. Ohio.
169