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e. T. Alexander. C. M. Bower.
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Office In German's new building.
JOHN B. LINN,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Office on Allegheny Street.
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Northwest corner of Dl.unond.
D. G. Bush. 8. H Yocum. D. H. Hastings.
JgUSH, YOCUM A HASTINGS,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
High Street, opposite First National Bank.
M. C. HEINLE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Practices in all the courts of Centre county.
Spec al attention to collections. Consultations
In German or Engl an.
yyriLBUR F. REEDER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
All business promptly attended to. Collection
of claims a speciality.
J. A. Beaver. J. w Gephart.
jjeaver a gephart,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
omce oa Alleghany Street, North of High,
yy A. MORRISON,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Office on woodrlng's Block, Opposite Court
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Consultations In EDgllsh or German. Ofllce
In Lyon*- Building, Allegheny Street.
JOHN G. LOVE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Office In the rooms formerly occupied by the
late w. p. Wilson.
yjILLHEIM BANKING CO.,
A. WALTER. Ca9hler. DAV. KRAPE, Pres.
The only wav to have a friend is to
Domestic rule is founded upon truth
and love. If it has not both of these
it is nothing better than a despotism.
Measure Christianity by its teachings,
and not the short sighted, selfish prac
tices of a few unworthy followers.
Hash words are scarcely more dan
gerous, and are generally much less
unwholesome, than capricious silence.
We appreciate no pleasure unless we
are occasionally deprived of theni-
Kestraint is the golden rule of enjoy
Young man learn to wait. If you un
dertake to set a lieu before she is ready,
you will have your labor for your
He who boasts that his heart has re
mained whole, confesses that he has
only a prosaic, out-of-the-way- corner
He is happy whose circumstances suit
his temper; but he is more excellent
who can suit his temper to any circum
There is nothing soeasy as to be wise
for others; a species of prodigality, by
the way, for such wisdom is wnolly
Look at the pages of your own heart*
and you will see a dim reflection of
what the recoiding angel has written'
Beauties often die old maids. They
set such a value on themselves that
they don't find a purchaser till the
market is closed.
Faults are pliable in infancy, change
able in childhood, more resolute in
youth, firmly rooted in manhood, and
inflexible in old age.
The worthiest people are most injur
ed by slanderers; as we usually find
that to be the best fruit which the birds
have been picking at.
Kindness is stowed away in the heart
like rose leaves in a drawer, to sweeten
every object around them, and to bring
hope to the weary-hearted.
Never permit the most resolute curi
osity, or the most friendly concern, te
find" the lowest depth of character,
Gain the reputation for reserve by re
If you are a wise man, you will treai
the world as the moon treats the world
Show it only one side of yourself, sel
dona too much at a time, and let wha
you show be calm, cool, and .polished
But look at every side of the world.
Beneath the quaiut old bridge you hear
The waves make music as they pass;
And winding to the elm tree near.
You see the pathway through Ike gra a
Where we were wont to walk, alas!
The river wanders as of old
Beneath the shades of w.llow tree*.
The smulit wat rs glraiu like gold.
And ripple to the gentle breeae;
But 1 am far from thee and these.
The sky bends over broad and blue.
And, in the soft aud in-llew light,
Tou tread the laae our footsteps knew
In former days, when days were bright;
Do these days bring such sweet delight?
And still that lane with grass is green;
With fragrant flowers the banka are fair;
In golden £lo*a and silver sheea
The beee stiU hauut the balmy air;
But you will fail to find me there.
Again, perchance, 1 may not aee
The ruet iug row of willow trees
(Which lent a leafy canopy
Whan we strolled auderueath at eaae);
For I am far fiom thee aud th se.
Our joys far?ake us. Soon doee Bprlug
Pass bv and for >he Bummer call;
Boon do the birds lose heart to aiug.
When fadiug leaves in Autumn fall;
And Winter is the eud of all
The Pupil's Love.
It was the final night of her engagement,
which had beeu a signal triumph in the
Italian city, and an ovation was tendered
by the nobility to the gifted pupil of the
celebrated Max Heme.
Whose mind was tilled with the greatest
sense of triumph to night, master's or
Max Heme sat alone in his box, hand
some, calm, collected, seemingly unimpress
ed by the excitement about him.
But noting his eyes they tell a tale.
Was it the performer or performance
that filled his eyes with adoration? We
The beautiful child ©f music bowed her
golden head and received the honors heap
ed upon her.
Her cheek was flushed with triumphant
pleasure, but she did not look once towards
the box where her master sat.
Heme was detained some minutes after
the curtain weut down by friends pressing
around him with their congratulations, so
his pupil was at home by the time he got
round to the stage entrance.
In her private parlor the flush of tri
umph no longer glowed upon the cheek of
the child of music. Surely she was not
satisfied with to-night's triumph.
The expression betrayed her heart, her
happiness was incomple: her eyes said as
plainly as words, heart hungry.
The door ot>ened. and Maude Leblanc
started from her position.
It was a young French girl, her maid,
who entered, saying:
'•Monsieur Heme is here. Shall I ad
And the daughter of music's face took
•n a rosy hue ag*in before Max Heme
stepped into the room.
"How did you get away so quickly?" he
©ried, the moment he entered. "I thought
your admirers would have detained you
for some time."
"I did not give them a chance, 1 ' she re
plied, averiing her face from his gaze. "I
was tired of it all, and wanted to get
away. I wish it was over."
"You wish what wss over?" he said, se
"My engagement throughout Italy. I
long for the day to come when we shall
sail for home."
"The© y©ur art does not satisfy your
soul's longings. Yon have opened your
heart's door and let in other idols to share
the place of one."
She did not answer him.
"Surely," he said after waiting some
moments f®r her to speak, "you have 110
particular wish to return to the farmhouse
where I found you. If my memory serves
me aright, your life in your native land,
what I saw of it, was anything but pleas
"His words stung her. This man stand
ing before her lik© a merciless judge, knew
as well as she did herself that she loved
She had betrayed her love to him a thou
sand times by words and deeds. Why
j should he speak to her thus unkindly?
I "Yea, my past life was anything but
pleasant," she cried in atone that startled
Max Heme, for he had not heard her ust
it for years. "But lam tired of this one
all the same—tired of hearing the high
sounding nam© you have dubbed me.
"You are ungrateful," he said, coldly,
"No, no; do not think that," she cried.
"To repay you for what you have done foi
me I would devote my life to you."
"Devote your life not to me but to youi
art. It is my idol, as I have told you
Make it yours, have HO other if you woult
Her fair face was instantly buried in he
hands to hid© its growing whiteness.
Her love was thrown back to her.
Long ago, the truth that her master wa
selfish to the heart's core, tried to force t
self upon her, bat she would not believ
, If she had a spark of pride, she wouli
never again let this man know how muci
she loved him; indeed he was alread;
tumbling from the pedestal in her heart upo
which she had reared him.
4 'You are tired: you are not yourself to
night," he said, more softly, smoothing
her bowed head; "I think you
ought to retire at once, you need rest;
you know we start for Germany to morrow.
Has the senora everything in readiness?"
"We will be ready to start anytime to
morrow," she answered, as she raised her
4 'Then I will bid you good-night, ' he
44 0ne quest'on before you go," she said
quickly. "It has been on my mind for
44 What is it?" he asked, in his old gentle
tone, at the same time regarding her in
tently for her expression, he thinks, has
certainly undergone a change.
"Supposing you discovered another child
' displaying the same talents that I did,
■ would you take her and do for her as you
" have done for me?"
His answer came without a moment's
"Would I?" he cried, his eyes aglow.
MILLHEIM, PA., THUIfeDAY, JANUARY 1880.
"Ah, if some fairy couUi Inform me where
a dor.cn such children were, 1 should only
be too ready to take them all. by, my
child, one such perfoi mance of my pupil as
yours last night, would repay me for my
As Max Heme finished speaking, the
last slender column that propped her idol
on its throne snapped, and it toppled to
Max Heme was gone in another minute,
and she alone in her misery, knew that the
idol she worshiped was made of selfish
clay and was broken forever.
If one night of triumph repays my mas
ter surely he is repaid now, is what Maud
Leblanc thinks, as success meets them in
the German cities.
She is out for her morning walk in the
pretty town iu which they have stopped to
rest for a day.
Only one week more, she thinks, ami
then for home.
Her thoughts are broken by a voice at
is she dreaming?
"Maude, Maude; ia it little Maude?"
She is not dreaming
The owuer of the boyish voice of loug
ago, the one bright gleam of her past life,
the only link that connected her native
land, isslamliug, a tall, handsome mau be
"Hunt Ellis!" she cried, Joyfully.
"h> it little Maude, then, " he said taking
the baud she offered. "I beg pardon," he
continued, "I suppose I ought to call you
"No. no," she cried; "call me Maude,
don't call me that hateful assumed nunc."
"All, 1 am glad it is *uly assumed,', he
said archly. "1 was sure it was you I saw
at Berlin, and I followed you here. Very
impudent of me, was it uotf" he asked in
the hearty voice she so well remembered.
"Very," she answered, catching some of
liis spirit, and strange to say, she feit her
heart growing light; but i suppose, uow
that you are here, you may talk with me,
and we will talk "
"Over old times," he concluded; "1
have no earthly business here but to see
you. Now shall Igo or stay?"
"We go ourselves to-morrow,"'she an
"To Paris. Oue performance there and
then for home."
"Then I am for Paris to morrow also,
that is if you do not object, for you know
we cannot say all we two have to say about
old times between now and to-morrow,"
he answered laughing.
At Paris Maude Leblanc gaiusd her
"My child, you surpassed everything I
ever dreamed of for you to-night," cried
Max Heme, when the performance was
"That was because 1 am so happy," she
says, and her beaming face strengthened
her words. "I could uot but succeed to
night, lor my heart is overtiowmg with
love. My master, you must make no en
gagements for me."
"1 do ot understand you," ho cried, in
"I will explain iu a few words. Be
cause I have made a life loug engagement
"You have made an engagement for
"Yes, I am going to marry Hunt Ellis.
That is the cause of my overwhe ming suc
If Maude Leblanc had planned hr mas
ter's punishment, she could not have
brought it about more effectually.
Now, when his protestations are in vain
when he knows she is lost to him for ever,
the truth burets upon him.
He loves her; she is the sdol that has
been entlironed in his heart, and blind
man. he could not sec it uutil too late.
Handy to Know.
Fire insurance policies do not include in
ilieir indemnity among other things the fol-,
lowing: Fences and other yard fixtures; '
also store furniture and fixtures and plate- I
glass doors and windows, when the plates
are of dimension of three feet or more " J
It is important that this fact be mentioned
in the wording of the policy, if such articles
are to be included under the policy. Care
less, ignorant or unsophisticated brokers
and agents very frequently make mistakes
in this respect. The following articles also
are not included in the security of a lire in
surance policy, unless mentioned, viz.:
Jewerly, plate, watches, musical Instru
ments, ornaments, medals, curiosities, pat
terns, printed music, printed books, engrav
ings, paintings, picture frames, sculptures,
cast and models, money or bullion, bills,
notes, accounts, deeds, evidence of debt, or
securities. These should al ways be speeded.
If a building falls, no insurance will attach,
or cover its loss, unless it is caused by fire.
Stolen property is not to be paid by the in
surance company. Losses from explosions
are not to be paid, unless fire ensues, and
then only the ac tual fire loss is to be settled
for. Property standiug on leased ground
must be so represented to the company and
expressed in the policy. Goods on storage
must be represented as such. The assured,
in case of a fire, must invariably do his best
to sfcve it, and carelessness in this respect
will vitiate his claim. In HO instance shall
he abandon his premises to firemen or
thieves. Where a party has a trust-worthy
and intelligent representative, agents or
brokers, whose business it is to study these
' points and consult his own and the assurcd'g
interests, by so doing it is sometimes safer
than to risk it by attending to the insurance
The corps of skaters, a force peculiar to
the Norwegian army, has been lately reor
ganized, and consists now of five companies,
each of 110, men which in time of war can
be reinforced by calling in 270 skaters be
longing to the landwehr. The men of this
corps are armed with rifles, and can be
maneuvered upon ice or over the snow
field of the mountains with a rapidity equal
to that of the best trained cavarly. The
skates they U9e are admirably adapted for
travelling over rough and broken ice or
frozen snow, being six inches broad and be
tween nine and ten inches long. In ascend
ing steep slopes the men take a zig-zag
course; tacking up the mountain side as a
ship does against a head wind. As an ins
tance of the speed at which they can go,
it is mentioned that last Winter a messeng
er despatched from lioerass at 3 o'clock in
the morning airived at Drontheim at 9.30
in the evening of the same day, having con
sequently accomplished 120 miles ia
lUUIng the rill*.
He had wandered from the beanery on
matinee day, and was "just look in* around
to see what he could see." He was worry
ing a toothpick, ami, seeing a sign in a win
dow, he drew near to it and read :
"Cloaks cleaned and the pile raised."
He said: "Uumph"—you never can get
that word in print as a man gets it out of
his throat. He hid one of his hands in the
lower end of his pocket ami raked up a
nickel. He went inside, and a man with a
fiat-iron came up to the counter and said:
"What Is it?"
"You clean cloaks here?"
The man spat on the tlat-iron and said
they did, when the opportunity presented
"And you raise the pile?"
"Beautifully," said the man who showed
every tooth in his head.
"Kiu you raise the pile 'thout cleauiu' the
"Oh, yes, we cau do that; you know we
can do anything."
"Well, I should say so."
"Wall." said the stranger in Jeans, "look
here; here's a nickel; noth in' crooked abou
it, nut her."
"Yes, I sec," said the boss."
"Wall, I'll leave It here."
"You'll leave it here, foi what ?" asked
the sweet-faced man on the other side of
"That's ray pile," said the stranger.
"Yes, my pile; dou't ye know yer busi
"You ain't dealin' with no sucker now,"
said the stranger.
"1 am not, 1 do uot, really I do uot com
prehend you. u
"That's my pile," pointing to the nickel.
"I see the nickel."
"Wall, if you see it why dou't you raise
"Yes; raise the pile."
"I don't understand."
The stranger went up to the show win
dow, look out the card, and laid it on the
table. Directing spetfial attention to it, l.e
"Cloaks cleaned; is that right?"
•'Yes, certainly; but "
"Hold on —aud the pile raised—is that
"Thar's a nickel, ain't it."
"Yes, I never doubted it,"
"Thar's all I've got; it's my pile."
"Yes; 1 want it raised."
"I don't see It."
"Course not; this is another one of them
durned new fangled city tricks you've got
up to beat people from the country. If I
was to ask you to copper that, 1 reckon
you'd know what I meant."
He walked away in a lamentable manner
and itAppoJ rori.ai j he said to him
"1 reckon the printer got it wrong on the
keerd, and the mau can't read."
Beer aud Talk.
The day was hot at Frisco, Utah, and
the three drank beer and talked. It ap
peared from their conversation that they
had all had more or leas experience in pios
pecting. One said:
The biggest thing I ever struck was once
when me an 1 Newtßowden was prospectin'.
One day we felt the earth kinder tremblin',
an' saw a smoke on the top of a mountain.
We climbed up to the top—'twas a long
pull. When we got there wc foun' it was
a volcano. 'Twas all bilin' in the crater.
One place in the crater was low#r that
t'other parts, an' a cliff struck right down
from this low place; it went down 'bout
seven hundred feet. The earth kep' trem
blin'. An' a stream 'bout twenty feet wide
by five feet deep run outen the crater or
gap, an' made a clear jump seven hundred
"Water?" interrupted one of the listeners;
"pooty hot, wasn't it?"
"Water! 'twas quicksilver."
"You bet. We went down to the foot
of the fall. The stream of quicksilver from
the fall run a few hundred yards an' sunk.
It kep' tremblin' ?"
"What made the tremblin ?"
"The quicksilver itrikiu' below; heavy
you know. Me an' Newt both got sick;
he sicker than me. He kep' gittin' worse,
an' died before I could get him to a camp.
got to a camp and was sick for months;
was salervated. My teeth all came out.
I hain't no teeth now ; nor toe-nails,
"Why didn't you go back to the quick
" 'Fraid er git tin' salervated agin. Killed
Newt, you know."
Number two said: "Well, the richest dis
cov'ry I ever made was one time when I
was by myself. I saw a bluff 'bout three
miles off; it had a queer look. I went to
it; 'twas more than a thousand feet high,
an' nearly ever bit of it was solid native
silver. You could walk 'long an' look at
it for a mile 'thout beein' anything but sil
ver- Some places silver had oozed out
! while the cliff was hot, an' made things
like big icicles; some of them was hangin'
down 500 feet long. 1 located 'bout three
miles of the lodge, an' left."
"How come you so poor?" asked one.
"Well, I'd got back in a day's ride to
camp, an' was packin' up one mornin' after
breakfast; as I come to the fryin' pan my
■ mule had one bin' root in it, an' I tapped
him on the leg to make him step qutcn it,
an' he up an' kicked me on the head."
"Hut he didn't break your head."
"No; but 1 can't remember directions
i The third one began; "I was by myself,
too, when I struck it big. Oue day I was
prospectin' through au open country, an'
traveled on until after night, tryin' to find
water. At last I rode over a ridge, an' no
l tieed that rny mules shoes kep' clinkin'
against somethin'. I had a fine young mule.
There was a valley at the bottom of the
ridge, an' water. I went to sleep, an' waked
up when day begin to break, but rolled
over an' slep' again. Nex' time I waked,
the sun was up, but I couldn't hold my
eyes open until I'd tried a long time, there
was such a glitter!"
"Mica." one of the party suggested.
"Gold, sir! Gold, everywhere! I'd thrown
i part of my blanket over a chunk to make a
i pillar; the chunk was gold, solid gold!
The ridge I'd come over was gold, solid
■ gold". Outother side of the valley were
mountains of gold, risin up an glitterin'
in the sunshine. One high mountain had
snow on the top, but was gold up to the
snow. Fellers, that mountain looked like
a picter! I'd jes begun to ti ink my bacon
eatin' days was over, when three men came
up to me, two young men, an' oneoleman.
Judgin' from their actions—l couldn't un
dsrstan' their talk—the young fellers wanted
to kill me, hut the ole chap persuaded 'em
not ter. They all had gold buttons on their
clothes, an' heel-taps, an' tup soles of gold.
The ole man was sinokin' a gold pipe, with
a long gold stein. They bliu'-folded me,
an' led me away." The narrator slopped,
ami seemed to lie retrosjiecting.
"Well, did they lead you far?" he was
"Seems to me 1 listened to the clink of
litem tap-soles an' heels for ten thousan'
"Wits they long about it?"
"When 1 "laid down in that gold valley
that night, though 1 say it myself, I was
young au' good-lookin'; my beard was
black as a crow; an' hair thick as a dogs,
hut when they lef' me, an' got out of hearin'
and 1 uncovered my eyes, my beard was
"An' your head?"
"Like it is now, not a hair on it."
"What became of your fiue young mule?"
"The ole man rode it on the trip till it
fell dead of ole age."
Cliurchrft In <!rui*lin.
A uutable structure in Jerusalem is the
Church of the Holy Sepulcre, the most cos
uiopilan church iu the world. This re
markable building covers a curious aggre
gate of traditionary and legendary sacred
sites, including several connected with Jew
ish histocy. But it is the Christian associa
tions which are most worthy of our attention,
as will soon appear. Its real history begins
with Helena, the mother of Coustantiue the
Great, because it was her zeal which led to
the supposed identification of the place
w here Christ was crucified and buried. Over
the spot thus identified a splendid church
was built and dedicated in A. D.-TiJo. Its
subsequent fortunes correspond very much
with those of the city; but it was specially
attractive as a resort of pilgrims, who, for
fifteen centuries, with little intermission,
have continued to visit it. The days of its
chief splendor were those of the Crusaders,
two of whose kings, Godfrey and Baldwin,
were buried there, and their tombs remain
to this day. The original Church of Con
stautine and Helena was destroyed by the
Persians, restored by the Christians, de
stroyed again by the Khalif Ilakem, rebuilt
again by the Christians, enlarged and beau
tified by the- Crusaders. This last was
nearly consumed by fire, iu 1808. but was
at onee restored on the old model, and has
since then undergone extensive alteration
and repair. It is about three hundred feet
iu length, but of very unequal width, and
internally it shows very different levels.
Thus the Chapel of the Finding of the Cross
is fifty feet lower than the so-called Hock of
Calvary. 'I he way to it is through narrow
streets, but there is an open court in front
of it. where tbu dealer* in rosaries, trinkets
and all sorts of mementoes, carry on their
trade. A Turkish otliiciat at the doors in
dicate Turkish supremacy, but a small fee
secures admission. The interior is divided
into many compartments, some of which
contain what is to be venerated or are them
selves accounted holy. A marble slab in
the vestibule is pointed out as that on which
the body of our Saviour was laid. Passing
this, which the pilgrims eagerly kiss, we
come under the chief dome to a fine rotunda,
ia the centre of which stands a miniature
church, containing what is said to be the
very sepulchre of Christ. Hound alout are
several chaixds belonging to various sects.
An arch to the east forms the entrance to
the Greek Church, the interior of which is
profusely adorned. Here they show the
s|K)t from which the earth was taken out
of which Adaui was made. The Chapel of
Calvary, where the crucifixion is said to
have taken place, is 285 feet from the sep
ulchre. The sepulchre itself is "a quad
rangular vault, about six leet feet by seven,
with a dome roof supported on short marble
pillars. The sepulchral couch occupies the
whole of the right side as we enter, it is
raised nearly three feet above the Hour and
is covered "with a slab of white marble
cracked through the centre, and much worn
at the edge by the lipsof numerous pilgrims."
This slab serves as an altar, is much decor
ated and has over it forty-two lamps of gold
and silver. Of the multitudes who visit this
spot, the majority may be presumed to be
lieve in its authenticity, doubt being con
fined to the critical and inquisitive. The
same observation applies to the other mem
bers of this wonderful group of candidates
jor our faith and veneration, for they show
here not only the sites of the crucifixion and
the resurrectiou and other already mention
j ed, but tbe tombs of Adam and Meicluzedck,
of Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus,
the places where Christ was scouraged and
crowned with thorns, where He ap|>cared
to Mary Magdalene aud His mother, the
centre of the globe and others too numerous
to mention. A minute description of all
that invites respect under the roof of this
one edifice would fiill a volume and a bare
catalogue would be tedious and useless.
A Shell In the Ear.
Mrs. Jennie Lewis, a well-known resi
dent of Nevada, has just returned from a
trip to Europe. During her absence she
removed from her ear a shell which had
been lodged there for over thirty years.
Mrs. Lewis says that when a child she was
holding a small shell to her ear, aud trying
to hear it "roar.'' While so doing,
the shell, which is hardly a
quarter of an inch iu diameter, slipped into
the passage of the ear. Efforts to dislodge
it were unsuccessful, and only drove it
further in. It remained there for ten
years, causing occasional pains, when a
surgical operation for its removal was at
tempted. The operation was performed
in Illinois, where Mrs. Lewis 1 parents were
then living. It was extremely puiuful and
induced excessive bleeding, but w y as un
successful. For twenty years more the
shell remained in the ear, completely ob
structing the passage. This summer,
while on her homeward voyage across the
Atlantic, Mis. Lewis was one day seated
on deck, engiged in picking with a pin the
ear which harbored the shell. To her
great joy and surprise she found that the
shell which had so long been firmly fixed
was loosened, and that it moved under the
pressure of the pin. She worked away at
I it in great excitement for a few minutes,
and at last the long imprisoned shell was
extracted. A surgeon on board the steam
er was greatly interested in the case, and
declared he had never in his life heard of
such an experience. Mrs. Lewis still
keeps the shell, and shows it to her ac
quaintances when telling its story.
One of Those l*up.
lie was a shrewd, white-headed old gen
tleman tourist who sat sipping his lemonade
in the Baldwin barroom, Han Francisco,
recently, and who remarked, as a self-im
, portant looking individual came in and
haughtily ordered a whisky straight.
"Now, 1 s'pose that gentleman is one of
your lMjiianza fellows, and owns about two
thirds of the real estate 'round here?"
"No," we replied, "he's one of the suc-
I cessful candidates of the iate election.''
1 "1 might huve known itl" exclaimed the
old gentleman, emphatically. "Ile acts
just as I did when 1 was elected to Con
"How was that?"
"Well, ytu see I was elected M. C. from
the Fourth District just after the war. We
had s pretty lively campaign of it, and as
I never had been in politics before, I some
how got the idea that the whole country
had quit work and was watching my con
test with quivering anxiety. .Every time
the other side accused me of being a chicken
thief, or a bigamist, or something, and I'd
get back at them with a card in the Red
ville War hoop, headed " Another lie
bailed!" I'd send a marked copy to every
leading paper in the country.'*
"Yes, snd I was disgusted to find they
never paid the slightest attention to me,
either. What surprised me most was that,
although I kept the President and Cabinet
advised of everything that occurred 1 never
got the slightest sympathy from any of
them. I was an administration man, too,
and 1 thought it was blamed singular."
"Didn't notice you at all?"
"Not at all, sir, and when I was elected
and the boys lighted a bonfire in the main
street, and serenaded me, and 1 spoke six
h urs in the open air as to my future course
on the tariff aud finances, the New York
pajiers merely said that 'a Mr. Gunn had
been elected by a small majority,' mv name
being Gonley, as you know."
"That was hard."
"Well. I put that all down to envy and
malice, and I started for Washington. I
expected that at least the Speaker of the
House and a committee appointed by the
Senate would tie down at the depot to wel
come me to the capital."
"They did so?"
"The only persons that met me were a
oommittee of liackmcn, who tore my over
coat half off. rammed me into a hack, and
robbed me, with the aid and assistance of the
hotel clerk, who then gave me a room on
the top floor, and asked the first week's
board in advance; said it was the rules of
the house with Arkansas members."
"The impudent rascal."
" That's what I thought. Well, the next
morning I got away from the bed-bugs as
well as I conld, and went up to the White
House to see if the President would like to
stroll down to the House to introduce me
aud see me sworn in. I sent up my card,
and in an hour or two some secretary or
other sent back word that the President was
HI uix-aKtasi aiiu cuauiu'T bewmrrca.
"That was pretty short, wasn't it?"
"Well, I was just dumbfounded. How
ever. I went down to the Capitol, and told
the Sergeant-at-Arms <0 go in and announce
to the members that I had arrived. He
grinned, aud said, 'That's devilish good,
that is; and rushed off. I expected that,
of course, t lie members would come crowd
ing up to congratulate me, and say some
thing like 'Magnificent speech of yours,
that last one. Gonley. Beat 'em by 48
votes, too, old fellow.' And then mebbe
they'd give me three cheers, and all riiat
sort of thing."
"No, sir, I hope 1 may never stir if they
didn't give me a hack seat in the cloak room
until my name wa called, and a door
keeper fired uie out into the corridor twice
under the impression that I was a lobbyist.
Well, after I had leen put on the joint com
mittee on spittoons and window washing,
and spent a couple of months trying to
wedge in my great four hour speech on the
match tax, something occurred that let
down my check rein, and took all the frills
out of me for good."
"What was that?"
"Well, I was taking a drive out to the
Soldier's Home one afternoon with three
other members, when a light buggy went
by like a sireak of greaseu lightning, the
trotter driven by a solemn looking man in
a rusty plug hat", who was smoking a cigar,
and steadying a small terrier on the seat
with his elbow. 'That's Butcher Boy,'
said one of my companions, with great in
terest; trots in 20. He's a rattling good
stepper, bet your life.'
"'Did you notice that dog,.' said another.
'Best bred put in town —tail no bigger
than a rat's—infernal fine dog that.'
"As I had nothing else to say I casually
inquired who the driver waa.
" 'Why, that's the President.' said one
of them with a yawn. 'By Jove, how'd
you likw to have one of those pups!'
"That settled it. I've been as meek and
sad as a carhorse pulling a picnic ever
tiirilg in Winter.
A lad> in a neighboring town, who is
fond of birds as pets, and who keeps several
feathered songsters, resorts to an original
method of supplying t hem in winter with
their proper food. In the summer she
goes out and collectsspiders, crickets, grass
hoppers and other small deer, which shy
dooms to execution and then dries them,
and lays them away in paper bags. At
this inclement season she gives her birds
(she has a number of different kinds) a
daily treat to this insect food, first causing
it to swell up to its former shape and pro
portion by putting it in hot water! It is a
fact well known to successful keepers of
mocking-birds, that they not only thrive on
spiders especially, but that if a bird seems
to be ''dumpish" and feeling badly, a day's
diet of spiders will generally make him as
tuneful as a May morning. Hence, this
lady's unique method may be a hint worth
heeding to persons who keep these and
other insect-eating birds.
Lime-kiln Club Meteorology.
The Committee on Atmospheric Influ
ences announced that thev were ready with
a report regarding the coming winter. The
Committee had been entirely guided by
signs, and their reasons for predicting a
hard winter were:
1. The thickness of the corn husks.
2. The unusual number of overcoats in
3. The anxiety of women to get winter
4. The way the frogs have gone down
for deep water.
I.ook Out for Splinters.
A Detroit boot-black, who had strayed
out to Pontiac, was 011 his ret urn, having a
seat in the car with a benevolent old man.
Of course Shiner put up the window as
soon as he sat down. The wind blew in at
the rate of forty miles an hour, and the
old man presently said :
' Why do you keep the window up?"
"Don't 1 want someday to jump out if
the cars fall into the river," replied the boy.
Then he stuck his head and sboutders out,
and the old' man asked :
"Boy, why do you lean out of the win
dow so far ?"
"Don't I want to see if there areany cat
tle on the track 1"
"Let me tell you a story," continued the
man, as he hauled the boy in. "There was
once a boy thirteen vears old named Henry."
"Didn't they call him Hank?" inquired
"There was once a boy named Henry.
One day he look a journey by rail to a city
about twenty miles from his home."
"Didn't beat the conductor out of his
fare, did he?"
"This boy had been warned," continued
the old man, "not to throw up the window.
A r. open window is dangerous on account of
the draughts, and many a person has been
blinded by the flying sparks and cinders."?
"But he shoved up the winder, didn't he?
"Yes. ile thought he knew more than
any one else, and up it went. Not satisfied
with that he put his head and shoulders
"Bound to see the country, wasn't he?"
"The train sped onward," sighed the old
man, "and by and by it came along to a
signal post. The boy was still leaning owl.
and all of sud "
"Hold n, old man," interrupted Shiner,
as he whei d around, "I know what you
are going to say! You are going to say
that tbe boy struck the poet with his chin
and knocked aboat three feet of the top off
and tore up half a mile of track and was
put in State Prison for life, but I want you
to understand that I'm no sun-fish! I'm
going to look out of this window all I want
to, and if this railroad company don't haul
in its posts they must look out for splinters!"
A Performing Samson.
If report B]>eaks truly, all the astounding
feats performed by the strong men of anti
quity, including Hercules, Samson and Mik>
of t'rotoua, have been capped by the recent
performances of a French athlete, Joigne
ry by name" who is at present fulfilling to
crowded houses an engagement in the Ber
lin Vaudeville Theatre. Tossing about
huge cannon balls with sportive grace.
JJhia person appears nightly on a rased
platform in the body of the theatre, above
which platform is suspended an ordinary
trapeze. I lis ankles are then fastened to
the trapeze, so that he swings head down
ward a few feet above the surface of the
central stage, and in full view of everyone
in the house. A horse, covered with gay
trappings and begirt with a strong leathern
attached, is then conveyed to the stage, and
there mounted by a full grown man. When
all these preliminaries have been effected,
Joignerey seizes the loops in both baud, and
by sheer muscular strength, lifts th
"Horse aud his Rider" some inches off the
stage, sustaining their combined weight in
the air for several seconds, and letting them
down again as slowly and evenly as he had
raised them. Upon the occasion of his first
performance, the horse selected for experi
ment was so p>anic stricken that, when it
was lowered to the level of the platform,
its knees gave way under it, and the atten
dants had a great deal of trouble to make it
stand up again. All Berlin is flocking to
see M. Joignerey's entertainment, which
would appear to be the chief attraction of
the German capital just now, for, while the
managers of the leading theatres are com
plaining of empty houses, the Vaudeville is
compelled, night after night, to turn hun
dreds of curious Berliners away from its
A French l>etecttre Trick.
A few days since, a young man dressed
in the height of fashion came, with all the
other travelers, out of the train which had
just reached Paris front Brussels. He had
scarcely quitted the car when he was ac
costed courteously: "Do you wish a porter
jil?" the very thing I was looking for. Will
you take this valise and show me the way
to Hotel de la Rouinania, Boulevard St.
Michel. As this is my first visit to Paris,
I prefer going there on foot.'' "At your
service, sir," On they truged. When
they had crossed Pont St. Michel, the por
ter, instead of following BoulevarJ du
Palais, turned to the left, went down Quai
de 1' Horologe and entered the Prefecture
of Police. He said to the owner of the
valise: "I am going to introduce you to the
master of the house,'' as he ushered him
iuto the office of the head detective. The
latter no sooner laid eyes on the stranger
than he said: "Why, good day, Mons.
Vauwater. You have just come from
Antwerp, where you have stolen a large
sum of money. You have already spent
five years in jail for a similar crime. What
on earth possessed you to wan't to put up
at the Hotel de la Roumania. where lodg
ings are dear, when you knew I had a
chamber at your disposal for which I
would not charge one cent?" The thief
was put in a cell until the legal papers to
warrant his extradition reached Taris.
Etching on tila§.
Glass 18 etched by hyprofluoric acid gas
or liquid hydrofluoric acid —solution of the
gas in water. The former in contact with
glass produces a rough surface, as in ground
glass, while the latter ordinarily leaves the
surface clear. The gas is prepared by mix
ing together finely-powders, fluorspar—cal
cium flluoride, three parts, and two parts
of strong sulphuric acid, in a shallow' leaden
dish, and applying a very gentle heat. The
plates to be etched much may be placed
over the dish. The operation should be
oonducted under a hood or in the open air,
to avoid inhaling the pernicious fumes.
The plates are prepared by coating tliein
while warm with wax or paratlin, through
which to the surface of the glass design is
cut with suitable gravers. In preparing
the liquid acid the mixture of spar and oil
of vitriol is placed in a leaden or platinum
resort, which is heated, and the gas taken
off is couducted into a leaden bottom partly
filled with water, which absorbs it. In
contact with the flesh the acid produces
stubborn sores. The metals are usually
etched with dilute nitric acid, or nither and
sulphuric acid, or sulphate of copper and
salt, or hydrochloric acid and chlorate of
potash. Hydrofluoric acid is not used on