' ' ' * ''
BY MEYERS & MENGEL.
TERMS OF PUBLICATION.
THB BEDFORD GAXETTK is published every Thurs
4v morning by MEYERS A MUSSEL, AT $2 00 per
annum, tf paid strictly in advance ; $2.50 if paid
within six months; $3.00 if not paid within six
months. All subscription accounts MUST be
settled annually. No paper will be sent out of
i he State unless paid for is ADVANCE, and all such
übscriptions will invariably be discontinued at
-he expiration of the time for which they are
aid.
All ADVERTISEMENTS for a less term than
three months TEN CENTS per line for each In
sertion. Special notices one-half additional All
resolutions of Associations; communications of
limited or individual interest, and notices of mar
riages and deaths exceeding five lines, ten cents
per line. Editorial notices fifteen ceDts per line.
All legal Notices of every kind, and Orphans
Court and Judicial Sales, art required by late
t be published in both papers published in this
place
All advertising due after first insertion.
A liberal discount is made to persons advertising
by the quarter, half year, or year, as follows:
3 months. t> months. 1 year.
*One square - - - $4 50 $6 00 $lO 00
Two squares . - - 000 900 16 00
Three squares *-- 800 12 00 20 00
Ouarter column - - 14 00 20 00 35 00
Halt" column - - - 18 00 25 00 45 00
One column - 30 00 45 00 80 00
*one square to occupy one inch of space
JOB PRINTING, of every kind, done with
neatness and dispatch. THK GAZETTE OFFICE has
just been refitted with a Power Press and new type,
and everything in the Printing line can be execu
ted in the most artistic manner and at the lowest
rates.— TERMS CASH.
|_JR°AU letters should be addressd to
MEYERS A MENGEL,
Publishers.
griutiny.
II K B E1) FO &L> GAZETTE
POWER PRESS
PRINT ING ESTABLISHMENT,
BEDFORD, PA.
MEYERS & MENGEL
PROPRIETORS.
Having recently made additional im
provements t< our office, we are pre
pared to execute all orders for
PLAIN AND FANCY
JOB PRINTING,
With dispatch and in the most
SUP E 810 11 STYLE.
CIRCULARS, LETTER HEADS, BILL
HEADS, CHECKS, CERTIFICATES,
BLANKS. DEEDS, REGISTERS, RE
CEIPTS, CARDS, HEADINGS, ENVEL
OPES, SHOWBILLS, HANDBILLS, IN
VITATIONS, LABELS,ire. ire.
Our facilities for printing
POSTERS, PROGRAMMES, etc.,
FOR
CONCERTS AND EXHIBITIONS,
ARE UNSURPASSED.
"PUBLIC SALE" BILLS
Printed at short notice.
We can insure complete satisfaction
us to time and price
riMIE INQUIRER
BOOK STORE,
opposite the Mengel House,
BEDFORD, PA.
The proprietor takes pleasure in offering to the
public the following articles belonging to the
Book Business, at CITY RETAIL PRICES :
M ISCELLANEt>US BOOKS.
N O V E L S.
BIBLES, HYMN BOOKS AC.:
Large Family Bibles,
Small Bibles.
Medium Bibles,
Lutheran Hymn Books.
Methodist Hymn Books,
Smith's Dictionary of the Bible.
History of the Books of the Bible,
T'ilgrim's Progress, Ac., Ac., AE.
Episcopal Prayer 'looks.
Presbyterian Hymn Books,
SCHOOL BOOKS.
TOY BOOKS.
STATIONERY,
Congress, Legal,
Record, Foolscap,
Letter, Congress Letter,
Sermon, Commercial Note,
Ladies' Gilt, Ladies' Octavo,
Mourning, French Note.
Bath Post, Damask Laid Note,
Cream Laid Note, Envelopes, Ac.
WALL PAPER.
Several ilimdrcd Different Figures, the Largest
lot ever brought to Bedford county, for
sale at. prices CHEAPER THAN
EVER SOLD in Bedford.
BLANK BOOKS.
Day Books, Ledgers,
Aceount Books, Cash Books.
Pocket Ledgers, Time Books, \
Tuck Memorandums, Pass Books,
Money Books, Pocket Books,
Blank Judgment Notes, drafts, receipts, Ac
INKS ANI) INKSTANDS.
Barometer Inkstands,
Uutta Pereha,
Coooa, and
Morocco Spring Pocket Inkstands,
Glass and Ordinary Stands for Schools,
Flat Glass Ink Wells and Back,
Arnold's Writing Fluids,
Hover's Inks,
Carmine Inks, Purple Inks,
Charlton's Inks,
Eukolon for pasting, Ac.
PENS AND PENCILS.
Gillot's, Cohen's,
Hollowbush A Carey's, Payson,
Dunton, and Scribner's Pons,
Clark's Indellible, Faber's Tablet,
Cohen's Eagle,
Office. Faber's
Gutikoecht's, Carpenter's Pencils.
PERIODICALS.
Atlantic Mon.hly,
Harper's Magazine,
Madame Itemorest's Mirror of Fashions,
Electic Magazine,
Godey's Lady's Book,
Galaxy,
Lady's Friend,
Ladies' Repository,
Our Young Folks,
Nick Nax,
Yankee Notions,
Budget of Fun,
Jolly Joker.
Phunny Phellow.
Lippincott's Magazine,
Riverside Magazine,
Waverly Magazine,
Ballou's Magazine,
Gardner's Monthly.
Harper's Weekly,
rank Leslie's illustrated,
Chimney Corner.
New York Ledger,
New York Weekly,
Harper's Bazar,
Every Saturday,
Living Age,
Putnam's Monthly Magazine,
Arthur's Home Magazine.
Oliver Ontie's Boys and Girl's Magazine Ac.
Constantly on band to accomodate those who want
to purchase living reading mattter.
Only a part of the vast number of articles per
t lining to the Book and Stationery business,
which wo are prepared to sell chouper than the
cheapest, are above enumerated. Give us a call
We buy and sell for CASH, and by this arr'ngt,-
metit we expect to sell as cheap as goods of this
tass are sold anywhere
no 2 t
pijsrrUancous.
T7l L E C T R I C
TELEGRAPH IN CHINA.
THE EAST INDIA TELEGRAPH COMPANY S
OFFICE,
Nos. 23 A 25 Nassau Street,
NEW YORK.
Organized under special charter from the State
of New York.
CAPITAL $5,000,600
50,000 SHARES. $lOO EACH.
DIRE C T O It S.
flow. ANDREW G. CURTIN, Philadelphia.
PAULS. FORBES, of Russell A Co., China.
FRED. BUTTERFIELD, of F. Ba tterfield A C
New York.
ISAAC LIYEUMORE, Treasurer Michigan Cen
tral Railroad, Boston.
ALEXANDER HOLLAND, Treasurer American
Express Company, New York.
lion. JAMES NOXON, Syracuse, N. Y.
0. 11. PALMER, Treasurer Western Union Tele
graph Company, New York.
FLETCHER WESTRAY, of Westray, Gibbs A
Hardcastle. New Y"ork.
NICHOLAS MICKLES, New Y'ork.
O F FIC E lIS.
A. S. CURTIN, President.
N. MICKLES, Vice President.
GEORGE ELLIS (Cashier National Bank Com
monwealth,) Treasurer.
HON. A. K. McCLURE, Philadelphia, Solicitor.
The Chinese Government having (through the
Hon. Anson Burtingame) conceded to this Com
pany the privilege of connecting tbo great sea
ports of the Empire by submarine electric tele
graph cable, we propose commencing operations
in China, and laying down a line of nine hundred
miles at once, between the following port*, viz :
Population.
Canton 1,000,000
Maeoa 60.000
Hong-Kong 250.000
Swatow 200,000
Amoy 250,000
Foo-Ctiow .. i,asn.ao<)
Wan-Chu 300.0(10
Ningpo 400 ooii
Hang Chean . 1,200,000
Shanghai 1,000,000
Total 5.910,000 I
These ports have a foreign commerce of $900,-
000,000. and an enormous domestic trade, besides
which we have the immense internal commerce of
the Empire, radiating from these points, through
its canals and navigable rivers.
The cable being laid, this company proposes
erecting laud lines, and establishing a speedy and
trustworthy means of communication, which mast
command there, as everywhere else, the commu
nications of the Government, of business, and of
social life especially in China. She has no postal
system, and her only means now of commuuicating
information is by couriers on land, and by steam
ers on water.
The Western World knows that China is a very
large country, in the main densely peopled; but
few yet realize that she contains more than a third
of the human race. The latest returns mf.de to
her central authorities for taxing purposes by the
local magistrate make her population Four hun
dred and Fourteen millions, and this is more
likely to be under than over the actual aggregate.
Nearly all of these, who are over ten years old,
not only can but do read and write. Her civili
zation is peculiar, but her literature is as exten
sive as that of Eurepe. China is a land of teach
ers and traders ; and the latter are exceedingly
quick to avail themselves of every proffered facili
ty for procuring early information. It is observed
in California that the Chinese make great use of
the telegraph, though it there transmits messages
in English alone. To-day great numbers of fleet
steamers are owned by Chinese merchants, and
used by them exclusively for the transmission of
early intelligence. If the telegraph we propose
connecting all their great geaporta, were now in
existence, it is believed that its business would
pay the cost within the first two years of its suc
cessful operation, and would steadily increase
thereafter
No enterprise commends itself as in a greater
degree renumerative to capitalists, and to our
whole people. It is of vast national importance
commercially, politically and evangelically.
|j^ s The stock of this Company has been un
qualifiedly recommended to capitalists and busi
ness men, as a desirable investment by editorial
articles in the New York Herald, Tribune,
World, Times, Post, Express, Independent, and
in the Philadelphia North American, Pre.s *,
Ledger, Inquirer, Age, Bulletin and Telegraph.
Shares of this company, to a limited number,
may be obtained at $5O each, $lO payable down,
$l5 on the Ist of November, and $25 payable in
monthly instalments of $2.50 each, commencing
Deedhber 1, 1868, on application to
DREXEL A CO.,
31 South Third Street,
PHILADELPHIA
Shares can be obtained in Bedford by applica
tion to Reed A Schell, Bankers, who are author
ized to receive subscriptions, and can give all ne
cessary information on the subject. sept2syl
I •
E combine style with neatness 01 fit.
And moderate prices with the heat workmanship
JONES' ONE PRICE CLOTHING HOUSE
*
604 MARKET STREET,
GEO IV. NIEMANN. PHILADELPHIA.
Iseplt,'#B.yl ]
rpifE BEST PLACE TO BUY
_f choice brands of chewing Tobaccos and Ci
gars, at wholesale or retail, is at Osier's. Hood
natural leaf Tobaccos at 7a cents. Try our 5 cent
Yara anil Havauna cigars—they cant be beat,
unelBm3.
BEDFORD, PA., THURSDAY MORNING, OCTOBER 14, 1869.
gnf-<soodsi, &r.
"VfEW GOODS -JUST RECEIVED
IN AT J. M. SHOEMAKER'S BARGAIN
STORE.
NEW GOODS just Received at J.
M. Shoemaker's Bargain Store.
NEW GOODS just Received at J.
M. Shoemaker's Bargain Store.
NEW GOODS just Received at J.
M. Shoemaker's Bargain Store.
NEW GOODS just Received at J.
M. Shoemaker's Bargain Store.
NEW GOODS just Received at J.
M. Shoemaker's Bargain Store.
BUY your Dry Goods, Groceries,
Clothing. Hats, Boots and Shoes, Queensware,
Fish, Notions. Leather, Tobacco, Ac., at J. M.
Shoemaker's Bargain Store.
BUY your Dry Goods, Groceries,
Clothing, Hats, Boots and Shoes tjueensware,
Leather, Fish, Notions, Tobacco, Ac., at J. M.
Shoemaker's Bargain Store
BUY your Dry Goods, Groceries,
Clothing, Hats, Boots and Shoes, Queensware,
Notions, Leather, Tobacco, Ei.ih, Ac., at J. M
Shoemaker's Bargain Store.
BUY your Dry Goods, Groceries,
Clothing, Ilats, Boots and Shoes, Queensware,
Natione, Leather, Tobacco, Fish, Ac., at J. M.
Shoemaker's Bargain Store.
BUY your Dry Goods, Groceries,
Clothing, Hats, Boots and Shoes, Queensware,
Notions. Leather, Tobacco, Fish, Ac., at J. M.
Shoemaker's Bargain Store.
BUY your Dry Goods, Groceries,
Clothing, Hats, Boots and Shoes, Queensware.
Notions, Leather, Tobacco, Fish Ac., at J. M.
Shoemaker's Bargain Store.
Bedford, Pa., June 11, 1869.
R. OSTER A CO.
READ AND SPEAK OF IT!
COME SEE AND BE CONVINCED .'
Wo are now receiving our usual extensive and
well assorted STOCK OF NEW AND
Cll EA P SUM ME R GOO JS,
And are now prepared to offer SMASHING BIG
BARGAINS TO
C A S 14 BUY E R S ,
In Staple and Fancy Dry Goods, Notions, Car
pets, Oil Cloths, Cotton yarns, Carpet
Chains, Hats, Boots, Shoes,
Clothing, Brooms, Baskets,
Wall and Window
Papers, Groceries, Queens
ware, Tobaccos, Cigars, Fish, Salt, 4'C
II e invite everybody to cat! and see. for them
selves. NO TRUBLE TO SIIOW GOODS.
TERMS CASH.
BRIXO ALONG YOUR CASH and we will guarantee
to SELL you Goods as CHEAP as the same styles
and qualities can be sold in Central Pennsylva
nia.
Be assured that CASH in hand is a wonderfully
winning argument, and that those who BUY anil
SELL for CASH are always masters of the situation
jane!Bm3 G. R. OSTER A CO.
1,1 M. FISHER AND BABIES,
J m Next Door to the Bedford. Hotel.
GOOD NEWS AT LAS T.
The Cheapest Goods ever brought to Bedford.
We will sell GOODS CHKAPER. by 15 to 25 per
cent, than ever gold in Bedford county.
The best COFFEE at 25 cents, but the leas
we sell the better we are off.
The LADIES' HOSE, at 10 cents we will not
have this time, but come at us for 15, 20 and 25
cents, and we will make you howl.
You will all bo waited on by ELI and the BA
HIES , as the OL D ELI cannot do anything
himself A great variety of Parasols. Sunumbrel
las, Pocket-books Ac. Linen Handkfs (Ladies
and (Sents) from 5 cents to 25 cents. CALICOES,
from 10, 12 and a few pieces at 15 cents. MUS
LINS. from 10 to 25 cents. \,<u all know that we
sell NOTIONS 100 per cent, cheaper than anybody
else All Wool Cassimcres, from 50 cents to $ 1.00. i
All Wool Dress Hoods, from 15 to 25 cents. Tick
ing, from 20 to 40 cents. Paper Collars, 10 cents;
begt, 25 cents per box. 4 pair Men's Half Hose,
for 25 cents.- Clear Glass Tumblers, 00 cents a
dozen, or 5 cents a peace. A great lot of Boots
and Shoes, to be sold cheap. Queens and Glass
ware, very low. Syrup, 80 cents and $1 00.
$1 30 for best as clear as honey, and thick as tar.
Bakers' Molasses, 50 cents per gallon, or 15 cents
a quart. These Goods will u positively not be
sold unless for Cash or Produce. Come and see
us, it will not cost anything to see the Goods and
Babies. N. B All these Goods ware bought at
slaughtered prices in New York
K. M. FISHER A BABIES.
These Goods we sell so low, that we cannot af
ford to sing (Auld Lang Syne.)
All accounts must be settled by the middle of
July next, by cash or note, or they will be left in
the bands of E. M. ALSIP, Esq., for collection.
junl3tn3
'VTOTI'JE.—I hereby give notice to
j_sj all persons not to barber or tru3t tay wife,
SARAH, on my account, as I will not be respon
sible for any debts she may contract—she baring
left iny bod and board without just cause or pro-
TOcaUon. ANDREW POTE.
Union tp. Aug 13 w3*
Mil HITS AN II THE I, ITT I. E HEATHEN.
BY JOHN QUILL.
"But they must have clothes, Mr.
Wilkins."
"No they mustn't It's ridiculous
nonsense for any collection of old wo
men like your sowing society to start
out a lot of duds to the heathen in Af
rica. It is confounded stupid, I say.—
Whatdo you suppose a lot of old coffee
colored pagans, steeped in ignorance
und vice, want with shirts? Hey?
Why, they don't wan't 'em. They
were born without 'em, weren't they?
And if it was right for them to have
clothes don't you suppose they would
have hud 'em ? Don't you suppose be
neficent nature knows better than you
and all the other heifers down at the
sewing bee? Why it's absolutely ri
dic "
"Wilkins, you shan't talk that way
about "
"It's perfectly ridiculous. But you
go on ; you go on and send them over
there to Africa, and do you know what
will happen ? Do you know what will
be the result of your tomfoolery ? Why,
the very first thing you know some
benighted heathen or other will go
and mount one of those shirts some
nigh 1 ., and paddle around in the dark
and scure the other heathen, and make
them believe in ghosts, and set the
whole continent of Africa to falling
down and sacrificing themselves to a
lot of old nine-headed idols, and jab
bering away at their pagan prayers.
You've got sin enough on your soul,
old woman, without that, I want you
distinctly to understand."
"Mr. Wilkins you are too contempt
ible to notice."
"Yes, and I'd like to know what an
ignorant heathen knows about shirts,
any how ? Why, absolutely nothing;
aud very likely the first fellow that
tries to get into one will get it upside
down, and mix his legs all up in the
sleeves, and get himself into a tangle
and trip up, and fall over some preci
pice or other, and then there will be the
responsibility for a mangled man ad
ded to your list of crimes. But I'd just
like you to bear in mind that you don't
send any of my wardrobe out there. I
don't want a parcel of Ethiops sport
ing around on Afric's sunny shore in
my lineu. Not exactly. I like to see
men enjoy themselves, but not in that
indecent style.
"But, Mr. Wilkins "
"Pretty spectacle it will be now,
won't it? Forty-six little Africans
dressed in a simple but chaste garb of
white shirts, sitting along a bench in
Sunday-school wriggling their toes, or
else enjoying themselves at recess sing
mg 'ham fat' and doing 'the walk a
round.' Tliat'u a pretty way to civil
ize a heathen land, ain't it? For they
won't wear any pants you observe. If
you go to shipping a lot of pants over
tiiere' the first thing you know they'll
have them tacked on some idol or
other, or rammed full of feathers, and
be holding religious service before each
pant; and as for socks, why every sock
as has ever been sent over there has
been stuffed with sand, and used as a
\par club. That's so, and I've no doubt
that very identical pair you're knitting
on now will brain a stray pagan some
dav or other in some muss.
"Mr. Wilkins, you know that's not
so."
"If you vvaiit to do your colored
friends a service, why don't you go to
work and ship them a lot of the delica
cies of the season? Why don't you
send out a ship load of canned mission
aries, or something else that will make
their teeth water? Or you might col
lect an assortment of second hand jaw
bones, and give them for necklaces, or
send out your own false teeth, or "
"Wilkins! I'll scratch "
"Or go yourself, and see how it feels
to be eaten. I won't stop you. You've
got my permission, you understand.
But I pity the miserable pagan that
stuffs himself with you. You won't
agree with him. You never did with
me, my love "
"Mr. Wilkins, you area brute."
"But for my part I think you had
better stay at home and attend to your
children, instead of fooling down there
at that society with a lot of tabbies,
who slander their neighbors, and make
more mischief than they do under
clothes fur the naked Hottentots."
"Mr. Wilkins, that's not so."
"You'd better stay at home and sew
for your family, that's what you'd bet
ter do. There's William Henry been
going round for six weeks or more with
only one gallus on his pants, and look
ing like he was a deformed cripple,
with one shoulder a foot higher than
the other, while ills stockings have no
feet, and the upper part of them keep
a working up liis leg until the boy
nearly goes mad."
"What an awful story, Wilkins."
"And Bucephalus Alexander's best
Sunday jacket has burst out all over in
spots,and Breckenridge Augustus, hav
ing run out of handkerchiefs, lias late
ly been practising wiping his nose on
his sleeve in church, until I was so
mortified that I had to take him out
last Sunday and have him stood in the
coal hole and spanked like the nation
by the sexton. Unaffected simplicity
is all well enough in its way, but that's
carrying it a little too far."
"Mr. Wilkins, you know that's not
true."
"And, as for Mary Jane, she is just
going straight to destruction. She's
got to imitating your example, and
now she thinks it ain't worth while to
live if you can't do something for the
heathen. So what does she do yester
day but go and give my best high hat
to the boy who swept the chimney,
and it came nearly down to his waist,
and she asked him if he had ever read
Dr. MePherson's treatise on "The
Whole Duty of .Man," and he observ
ed that he "didn't knt>w nuffln about
dat dar, he reckon " and while she
went up stairs to get it for hint he em-
bexzled two chunks of corned beef and
a coVl potato, and tlie first thing you
know lie will be in the penitentiary,
and all along of your blaine foolish
ness."
"I declare, Mr. Wilkins, you are a
scandalous story-teller."
"And there's the boys, it was only
last Saturday that they took their
crowd up stairs, and played that the
garret was Africa, and one half of
them represented heathen, and ran a
round without a stitch of clothes on
them and Bucephalus Alexander he
distributed my clean shirts among
them, and they upset all the barrels,
tired away all my old books in a skir
mish with the savages, and one of
them, who was a cannibal, like to
gnawed the whole thumb oft' of Win.
Henry, trying to swallow him, because
he said he was a missionary, and it
ain't well vet."
"Pshaw, Mr. Wilkins, you talk like
a—"
"And, then, what must Mary Jane
do, but try to represent a heathen
mother; wholly unenlightened by
Christianity, trying to drown her in
fant in the sacred river, which she rep
resented by dousing the eat in the
bath-tub, but that animal wouldn't
play fair, and liked to scratch the
whole hide off of her, whileshe Jet the
water run until the room was full, and
it poured a perfect cascade out of the
window, which she said was to repre
sent the overflowing of the Nile, like
she read about in her Sunday school
lesson. I say it's perfectly outrageous
to bring up your children in this kind
of style. If you love the heathen,
why go among them, but don't go to
poisoning the minds of your innocent
offspring."
"As long as you have made such a
fuss about the sewing-circle, Mr. Wil
kins, I'll tell you what I've been mak
ing there."
"You needn't mind, I don't want to
hear it. I'm tiredof hearing you talk.
Just give me a chance to speak a word
now, will you ?"
"But "
"Oh don't'but' me; I won't listen
to you."
"I wasn't sewing for the heathen, I
didn't stick a stitch for the heathen at
the sewing-circle."
"Well, what in the mischief were
you fooling your timeaway down there
for, then?"
"Why—l—was—making—you—a
dozen—new—shirts—while—you—were
abusing—me—you'll break my heart—
yes, you will."
"There, now, don't cry, my darling.
Don't cry, I was only in fun; I was
only joking, you understand. I didn't
mean it. There now, don't cry, I
say, Sally. Well, v bellow, then, bel
loV. You may cry until you are tir
ed. I never did see such a woman as
you are."
And Mr. Wilkins took a pull at the
covers, turned overand went to sleep.
But he seemed to be reconciled to her
next day, for he called her several hard
names because she left the baby cover
ed up on the sofa, so that he inadver
tently sat down on it.
-■ 1 ' ' ™ '
A curious suit is about to be tried be
fore a Memphis justice of the peace.
A white man has a young hull pup.
The puj) bit a bare-footed negro in the
heel as he was passing. The negro
jumped and two of the pup's teeth i
were thereby abstracted. The negro
sues the white man for allowing a vi
cious dog to run at large. The white
man files a crosscut saw bill and sues
the negro for having a heel tough o
nough to drag a dog's tooth out.
The Hon. Edward Everett, when a
young man just out of college, was in
vited to give an oration in the city of
Salem. At the dinner, Judge Story
called up Mr. Everett by the following
sentiment: "Fame follows applause
where ever it (Everett) goes!'' Mr.
Everett arose instantly, and gave the
following: "Themembers of the legal
profession! However high may be
their aspirations , they can never rise
higher than one slory.
The Chinese do not steep their tea
in a pot, hut put it in your cup, pour
in hot water, covering the cup to re
tain the steam, allowing it to stand
live minutes, draining off and refilling.
The second cup is considered the best,
and the third filling is very good. But
when the strength is exhausted, the
grounds are thrown into the jars, tak
en outdoors, spread on clothes, dried,
doctored, repacked, and sent over to
us.
The following sentiment is attribut
ed to Napoleon Bonaparte: "A hand
some woman pleases the eye, but a
good woman pleases the heart. The
one is a jewel—the other a treasure."
A man in Wisconsin lias invented a
pocket stove warmed by alcohol. We
have seen one of them. It looks very
much like a pint flask filled with bran
dy-
Sleeping on feather beds, or with the
hands raised above the head, is very
bad for the lungs. So says a doctor of
experience.
An old lady was asked what she
thought of the eclipse. She replied:
"Well, it proved one thing, and that
is the papers don't always tell lies."
■MBMMMMHMMMMBI
In an Illinois cemetery is a tomb
stone, bearing only this simple but
touching epitaph, "Gone up."
A sailor once had a high dispute with
his wife, who wished him to the devil.
A store in Denver city has a sign as
follows: FyNe KUT 2. bak().
"Veil, Jake is a shmart fellow. He
can vip his own taudy."
Light literature—the books of a gas
com nany.
Used up when it rains -an umbrella.
VUNSII 1 Ano i i' 4> r.oKUE AV ASIIIM;-
TOX.
Hi* Ilnnse aixl Habit* in PhilH<io||tliin.
Awhile since, in lookihg over a
Philadelphia Directory for 1797, my
heart gave a great bound as I came up
on this entry;
Washington, George,l9o HigbStreet.
To the disgraceof Philadelphia, that
house, second only in historic interest
to Independence Hall, was many years
ago demolished.
But, for a few charmed hours of a
midsummer evening, that mansion
has stood again for me, and Washing
ton has walked before my eyes "in his
habit as he lived and yet the only
magic conjuration was the clear mem
ory of a gracious old man, who in his
early childhood, was a neighbor of
Washington, his parents living, I be
lieveon Sixth street, near High.
At the house of a friend in Philadel- !
phia I was so fortunate as to meet Mr.
Robert E. Grey, a man past fourscore,
but wonderfully well preserved—look
ing much younger than his years—a
gentleman of the old school in courle
ousness of manner, in elegance and
neatness of dress, stately in figure,
with afresh and handsomecountenance.
In person and demeanor lie reminded j
trie strongly of Walter Savage Lander, j
as I saw him in his eighty-first year, i
When I asked this noble relic of the
past for his recollections of Washing- |
ington, he said : "Bless you, I have
little to tell. I was so very young at the
time when I knew him, that I have
only childish recollections, mere tri
fles which will scarcely interest you."
On my assuring liiin these were just
the things I wanted to hear, he talked
modestly, and with much questioning,
of the old days of Philadelphia, and of
the great President and his household.
In his childhood, he said, the place
where we then were, on Tenth street
near Arch, with the roar of the great
city about us, was quite in the rural
distiiels. He remembered going to
bathe in the little pond, near the cor
ner of Sixth and Arch streets,a secluded
and shaded spot. High street, the
fashionable avenue, was only planted
with rows the Lombdary poplar
nearly out to the Scuylkill, and was
the favorite Sunday promenade of the
citizens.
"Washington's house," said Mr.
Grey, "was thought a very fine man
sion. It was what was called 'a house
and a half'—that is, the hall was not
in the middle, but had two windows
at the left. It was two stories and a
half high, with dormer windows. It
was rented for the President of Rob
ert Morris, but originally belonged to
Galloway, the Tory."
"Was Washington the stately and
formal personage he has been represen
ted?"
"Yes he was a very dignified gentle
man, with the most elegant manners—
very nice in his dress, careful and
punctual. I suppose he would be
thought a little stiff nowadays."
"Did you ever hear him laugh hear
tily ?"
"Why, no, I think I never did."
"Was he always grave as you re
member him, or did he smile now and
then ?"
"Why, bless you, yes, he always
smiled on children ! He was particu
larly popular with small boys. When
he went in state to Independence
Hall, in his cream-colored chariot,
drawn by six bays, and postillions and
out-riders anu when beset out for and
returned from Mount Vernon, we
boys were on hand ; he could always
count us in, to huzza and waive our
hats lor him, and he used to touch his
hat as politely as though we had been
so many veteran soldiers on parade."
"Were you ever in his house, as a
child?"
"Oh ! yes; after his great dinners he
used to tell the steward to let in t ie
little fellows, and we, the boys,
of the immediate neighborhood who
were never far off on such ocea
sfons, crowded about the table and
made quick work with the remain
ing cakes nuts and raisins.
"Washington had a bad lvabit of
pacing up and down the large front
room on the first-floor, in the early
twilight, with his hands behind him ;
and one evening a ltttle boy, who had
never seen him, in attempting to
climb up to an open window to look in
upon him, fell and hurt himself.—
Washington heard him cry, rung for a
servant, and sent him to inquire about
the accident—for, after all, he was soft
hearted, at least toward children.—
The servant came back and said:
'The boy was trying to get a look at
you, sir.' 'Bring him in,' said the gen
eral, and, when the boy came in, he
patted him on head and said: 'You
wanted to see General Washington, did
you ?' 'Well, I am General Washing
ton.' But the little fellow shook his
head and said : 'No, you are only just
a man, I want to see the President.'
"They say Washington laughed and
told the boy that he was the Presi
dent and a man for all that. Then he
had the servant give the little fellow
some nuts and cakes and dismissed
him."
I asked Mr. Grey if he remembered
the Custis children.
"Yes," he said I often saw them
at the windows or driving with Mrs.
Washington in her English coach."
They did not seem to have left a
very vivid and human impression on
his memory. With their fine clothes
and company manners, with their at
tendants, tutors, dancing and music
masters, they must have seemed very
strange, inaccessible, and
little personages to all the happy, free
and-easy children of the neighbor
hood.
"Do you remember Washington's
levees , and Mrs. Washington's draw
ing-rooms ?" I asked.
'Yes I remember hearing about
them. All the evening parties were
over by 9 o'clock, and the President's
VOL 65.—WHOLE No. 5,512.
house was dark and silent by ten.
They were great affairs, but I was too
young to know much about them. I
attended his horse levees. I was very
fond of visiting his stables, early in the
morning, at the hour when he always
went to inspect them. I liked to see
him at that work, for he seemed to
enjoy it himself. Like President
Grant, lie was a great lover of horses.
I can almost think I see him now,
come striding out of the house across
the yard to the stables, booted and
spurred, but bareheaded and in his
shirt-sleeves?
"Washington in his shirt-sleeves?"
"Yes, madam ; but he was always
Washington. The grooms stood aside,
silent and respectful, while he exam
ined every stall and manger, and reg
ularly went over every horse—l mean,
he passed over a portoin of its coat
with his large white hand, always
looking to see if it was soiled, or if any
loose hairs had come off on it. If so,
the groom was reprimanded and order
ed to do his work over. Generally,
however, Washington would say:
"Very well. Now, John get out
Prescott and Jackson, his white char
gers. 'l'll be ready by the time you
come round."
"Did he ride at so early an hour?"
"Yes. Generrally between 5 and G of
a pleasant morning he was off; and he
almost always rode uj to Point-no-
Point, on the Delaware, a little way
above Richmond. He was a fine horse
man, and being a long-bodied man,
booked grandly on horseback. It was
a sight worth getting up to see."
Here came a pause, and then I pro
pounded the momentous oid question :
"Did Washington ever swear?"
"Well, as for that I can not speak
from my own observations. Washing
ton had great self-control—he was a
moral man—a religious man, for those
times, and did not swear upon small
occasions, and, I should say, never be
fore children ; but, from what I have
heard my father and old soldiers say, I
think he must have blazed away con
siderably in times of great excitement.
He was very tender to his favorite
horses, and, at onetime I remember to
have heard a young aide or secretary
ask leave to ride one of his white char
gers, on the way to Mount Vernon, and
the General allowed him to, but cau
tioned him not to rein the horse too
tightly. After awhile, Washington
saw he was worrying the animal, and
cautioned him again ; but the fellow
kept pulling and jerking at the bit un
til the creature became almost unman
ageable."
"Then Washington broke upon him,
like a whole battery, ordering him to
dismount, and swore tremendously. I
remember, too, that I once heard an
army officer tell about hiscursingsome
General who disobeyed him in battle."
"Lee, at Monmouth ?"
"Yes, I believe so. Anyhow, my
informant said it was the preat at sort
of swearing, yet wasn't so awful as
Washington's face at the time. He
said, I remember: 'I never saw the
devil before.'
"These things were told of him, but
not told against him. It was the fash
ion of those times. However, I never
heard a rough word from him, or saw
his face when it was not peaceful and
pleasant.'— Grace Greenwood in Ilearth
and Home. 1
Like the generality of the kings and
conquerers, Frederick the Great had a
most philosophic indifference to death
—in others. In one of his battles, a
batalion of veterans having taken to
their heels, he galloped after them,
bawling out, "Why do you run away,
you old blackguards? Do you want
to live forever?"
A man, less heavy than a horse, has
a greater relative muscular power.
The dog, less heavy than man, drags
a comparatively heaiver .burden. In
sects as their weight grows less and
less, are able to drag more and more.
It would appear, therefore, that the
muscular force of living creatures is in
inverse proportion to their mass.
A preacher in Chicago recently refused
to say grace at the table when reques
ted to do so, saying it was a mere for
mality, and the best grace was to eat
moderately, digest well the meal, and
then go to work and earn another.
For the same reason he refuses to pro
nounce the benediction.
-
An invalid disturbed all the inmates
of his boarding house, recently by imi
tating a dog. When asked why hedid
it, he said ho had been ordered by his
physician to use Port-wine and bark.
Why are sheep the most dissipated
animals in creation? Because they
gambol in their youth, spend most of
their days on the turf; the best of them
are black legs, and they are sure to be
fleeced at last.
The author of a radical total-absti
nence novel wrote in his book,' Drun
kenness is folly." He was much cha
grined when the Work came home from
the press to find that the printers had
made it read, "Drunkenness is jolly."
A pupil in declamation having been
told to gesticulate according to the
sense, in commencing a piece with'the
comet lifts its fiery tail,' innocently
lifted the tail of his coat, and looked a
round for applause.
A lady complaining that her hus
band was dead to fashionable amuse
ments, he replied, "But then, my dear,
you make me alive to the expense."
The London Spectator justly remarks
that in the United States "a tone ol
contempt towards the President is be
coming more apparent in both parties.
An infant died in Westport, Conn.,
recently, from the poison taken into
its stomach by sucking a green veil
which the nurse had thrown over its
face to keep the flies off.