BY MEYERS & MENDEL. TERMS OF PUBLICATION. THE BEDFORD GAZETTE is published every Fri day morning by MKYKRS A JJLS*&BL, at $2.00 per annum, if paid strictly in advance ; $2.50 if paid within six months; $3.00 if not paid within six months. All subscription accounts MUST be settled annually. No paper will be sent out bf the State unless paid for in ADVAXCE, and ail such übscriptions will invariably be discontinued at the expiration of the time for which they are aid. All ADVERTISEMENTS for a less term than three months TEN CENTS per line for each In sertion. Special notices one-half additional All resolutions of Associations; communications f limited or individual interest, and notices of mar riages and deaths exceeding five lines, ten cents per line. Editorial notices fifteen cents per,line. All legal Notices of every kind, and Orphans' Court and Judicial Sales, are required by law t be published in both papers published in this place. TV" All advertising due after first insertion. A liberal discount is made to persons advertising by the quarter, half year, or year, as follows : 3 months. 6 months. 1 year. ♦One square - -- $4 50 $6 00 $lO 00 Two squares - - - 600 900 16 00 Three squares - - - 8 00 12 00 20 00 Quarter column - - 14 00 20 00 35 00 Half column - - - 18 00 25 00 45 00 One column - - - - 30 00 45 00 80 00 ♦One square to occupy one inch of space JOB PRINTING, of every kind, done with neatness and dispatch. THE GAZETTE OFFICE has just been refitted with a Power Press and new type, and everything in the Printing line can be execu ted in the most artistic manner and at the lowest rates — TERMS CASH. ty ah letters should be addressd to MEYERS A MENGEL, Publishers. Sob printing. mll E BEDF OB D GA ZE TT £ POWER PRESS PRI N TING ESTABLISHMENT, BEDFORD, PA. MEYERS & MENGEL PROPRIETORS. Having recently made additional im provements U our office, we are pre pared to execute all orders for PLAIN AND FANCY JOB P R I N T I N Gt , With dispatch and in the most SUPERIOR STYLE. CIRCULARS, LETTER HEADS, BILL HEADS, CHECKS, CERTIFICATES, BLANKS, DEEDS, REGISTERS, RE CEIPTS, CARDS, HEADINGS, ENVEL OPES, SHOWBILLS, HANDBILLS, IN VITATIONS, LABELS, ire. ire. Our facilities fr printing POSTERS, PROGRAMMES, &c M FOR CONCERTS AND EXHIBITIONS, ARE UNSURPASSED. "PUBLIC SALE" BILLS Printed at short notice. We can insure complete satisfaction as to time and price rjpHE INQUIRER BOOK S T O R E, opposite the Mengel House, BEDFORD, PA. The proprietor takes pleasure in offering to the public the following articles belonging to the Book Business, at CITY RETAIL PRICES : MISCELLANEOUS BOOKS. N O V E L S. BIBLES, HYMN BOOKS, AC.: Large Family Bibles, Small Bibles. Medium Bibles, Lutheran Hymn Books, Methodist Hymn Books, Smith's Dictionary of the Bible, History of the Books of the Bible, •'ilgrim's Progress, Ac . Jfce., Ac. Episcopal Prayer Books, Presbyterian Hymn Books, SCHOOL BOOKS. TOY BOOKS. STATIONERY, Congress, Legal, Record, Foolscap, Letter, Congress Letter, Sermon, Commercial Note, Ladies' Gilt, Ladies' Octavo, Mourning, French Note. Bath Post, Damask Laid Note, Cream Laid Note, Envelopes, Ac. WALL PAPER. .Several Hundred Different Figures, the Largest lot ever brought to Bedford county, for sale at prices CHEAPER THAN EVER SOLD in Bedford. BLANK BOOKS. Day Books. Ledgers, Account Books. Cash Books. Pocket Lodgers, Time Books, Tuck Memorandums, Pass Books. Money Books, Pocket Books, Blank Judgment Notes, drafts, receipts, Ac INKS AND INKSTANDS. Barometer Inkstands, Outta Pcreha, Cocoa, and Moroceo Spring Pocket Inkstands, Glass and Ordinary Stands for Schools, Flat Glass Ink Wells and Rack, Arnold's Writing Fluids, Hover's Inks, Carmine Inks, Purple Inks, Charlton's Inks, Kukolon for pasting, Ac. PENS AND PENCILS. Oillot's, Cohen's, Hollowbush A Carey's, Payson, Dunton. and Scribner s Pens, Clark's Jndellible, Fabor's 'I ablet, Cohen's JJag'e. Office, Taber's Uutiknecht's, Carpenter s Pencils. PERIODICALS. Atlantic Momhly, Harper's Magazine, Madame Demorest's Mirror of Fashions, Electic Magazine, Godey'a Lady's Book, Galaxy, Lady's Friend, Ladies Repository, Our Young Folks, Nick Nax. Yankee Notions, Budget of Fun. Jolly Joker, Phunny Phcllow, Lippincott's Magazine, Riverside Magazine, Waverly Magazine, Ballou's Magazine, Gardner's Monthly. Harper's Weekly, Frank Leslie's Illustrated. Chimney Corner, New York Le 'ger, New York Weekly, Harper's Bazar, Every Saturday, Living Age, Putuam s Monthly Magazine, Arthur's Home Magazine, Oliver Optic's Boys and Girl's Magazine Ac. Constantly on band to accomodate those who want to purchase living reading mattter Only a part of the vast number of articles per taining to the Rook and Stationery business, which we are prepared to sell cheaper than the cheapest, are above enumerated Give us a call. We buy and sell for CASH, and by this arrange ment we expect to sell as cheap as goods of this class are sold anywhere janW.'yl 2Hisr*Uafous. TiLE * i 6 TELEGRAPH IN CHINA. THE EAST INDIA .TEUkDtAPH COMPANY'S Nos. 23 A 25 Nassau Street, NEW YORK. Organized under special charter from the State of New York. CAPITAL $5,000,000 50,000 SHARES, SIOO EACH. DIRECTORS. HON ANDREW G. CURTIN, Philadelphia. PAUL S. FORBES, of Russell A Co., China. FRED. BUTTERFIELD, of F. Bu tterfield A C New York. ISAAC LIVERMORE, Treasurer Michigan Cen tral Railroad, Boston. ALEXANDER HOLLAND, Treasurer American Express Company, New York. Hon. JAMES NOXON, Syracuse, N. Y. O. H. PALMER, Treasurer Western Union Tele graph Company, New York. FLETCHER WESTRAY, of Westray, Uibbs A llardcastle, New Y'ork. NICHOLAS MICKLES, New York. O F FIC E R S. A. G. CURTIN. President. N. MICKLES, Vice President. GEORGE ELLIS (Cashier National Bank Com monwealth.) Treasurer. HON. A. K. McCLURE, Philadelphia, Solicitor. , The Chinese Government having (through the Hon. Anson Burlingaine) concerted to this Com pany the privilege of connecting the great sea ports of the Krnpire by submarine electric tele graph cable, we propose commencing operations in China, and laying down a line of nine hundred miles at once, between the following ports, viz : Population. Canton 1,000,000 Macoa 60,000 Hong-Kong 260,000 Swatow 200,000 Ainoy 260.000 Poo-Chow 1,250,000 Wan-Chu .100,000 Ningpo 400,000 Hang Chean 1,200.000 Shanghai 1,000.006 Total 5,910,000 These ports have a foreign commerce of $900,- 000 000. and an enormous domestic trade, besides which we have the immense internal commerce of the Empire, radiating from these points, through its canals and navigable rivers. The cable being laid, this company proposes erecting laud lines, and establishing a speedy and trustworthy means of communication, which must command there, as everywhere else, the commu nications of the Governuiont, of business, and of social life especially in China. She has no postal system, and her only means now ofcommuuicating information is by couriers on land, and by steam ers on water. The Western World know 3 that China is a very large country, in the main densely peopled ; but few yet realize that she contain; more than a third of the human race. The latest returns made to her central authorities for taxing purposes by the local magistrate make her population Four hun dred and Fourteen millions , and this is more likely to bo under than over the actual aggregate. Nearly all of these, who are over ten years old, not only can but do read and write. Her civili zation is peculiar, but her literature is as exten sive as that of Europe. China is a land of teach ers and traders; and the latter are exceedingly quick to avail themselves of every proffered facili ty for procuring early information. It is observed in California that the Chinese make great use of the telegraph, though it there transmits messages in English alone. To-day great numbers of fleet steamers are owned by Chinese merchants, and used by them exclusively for the transmission of early intelligence If the telegraph we propose connecting all their great seaports, were now in existence, it is believed that its business would pay the cost within the first two years of its suc cessful operation, and would steadily increase thereafter No enterprise commends itself as in a greater degree renumerative to capitalists, and to our whole people. It is of vast national importance commercially, politically and evangelically. stock of this Company has bocn un qualifiedly recommended to capitalists and busi ness men, as a desirable investment by editorial articles in the New York Herald' Tribune, World, 'Times, Post, Express, Independent, and in the Philadelphia North American, press, Eedger, Inquirer, Age, Bulletin and Telegraph. Shares of this company, to a limited number, may be obtained at SSO each, $lO payable down, sls on the Ist of November, and $25 payable in monthly instalments of $2.50 each, commencing December 1, 1868, on application to DREXEL & CO., 34 South Third Street, PHILADELPHIA Shares can be obtained in Bedford by applica tion to Reed A Schell, Bankers, who are author ized to receive subscriptions, and can give all ne eessary information on the subject. sept2syl combine style with neatness of fit. And moderate prices tenth the best worJmausUtp JONES' ONE PRICE CLOTHING HOUSE C>o4 MARKET STREET, GEO IV. NIEMANN. PHILADELPHIA, [sepll ,'#B,yl ] SAVE YOUR TIME and MONEY by going to G. R. OsUr A Co. for cheap stockings, and be convinced that the assertion of one man selling 100 per eent. cheaper than an other is simply nonsense. Ladies' cotton hose at 10, 12, 15, 20 ct£. and upwards. nnJitnl BEDFORD, PA., THURSDAY MORNING, AUGUST 5, 1869. AGENTS •fK,, J-JLA .A- Railroad opened, ber en days from New York to San Franciaco, and a new interest felt in the Great West. . The old West as it was and the New M est as it is are fully described in our new edition of RICHARDSON'S "D pyond th eMi 8-s 1 n s-i pp i, 'iVrittun down to Summer ofVi 69 with new Text, new Maps, new Index, newlllns- Lrations. 620 Pages, 216 Engravings and the most accurate Map in the world. Don't attempt to sell other books, old matter, rehashed and copied, under new names. Sell the original, complete from 1857 to 1869. Send for Circulars which will tell the whole story. Address AMERICAN PUBLISHING CO., Hart ford, Conn., or BLISS A CO., Newark. N. J. julyl6w4. OOK AGEN TS \V ANTED.- Ex tra inducements offered good agents to en gage with us in the sale of Samuel Bowles' new work, entitled OUR NEW WEST. a very entertaining and interesting volume, pro fusely illustrated, and sold for $3. A splendid book for agents, now meeting with an unprece dented sale. It contains a full description of the Pacific Railroad ; describes life among the Mor mons, Indians and Chinese; gives details of the wonderful seenery, agriculture, mines, social life, progress and prosperity of our New Western States and Territories, Aci, Ac. Now is the time to se cure an agency. Circulars containing full par ticulars sent free on application to HARTFORD PUBLISHING CO., Hartford, Ct. Wf ANTED —AGENTS For Prof. \\ Parson's Laws of Business With full Directions and Forms for all Transactions in ev ery State, by THEOPHILCS PARSONS, LL.D , Pro fessor of Law in Harvard University. A NEW BOOK FOR EVERVBODV. Explaining every kind of contract and legal obligation, and showing how to draw and execute them. The highest and best authority in the land. Send for our liberal term* ; also for our Patent Bible Prospect its. SENT EREE. PARMELEE A CO., Phiia., Penn. Vegetable Soap. COLGATE A CO'S TOILET S O A P S. NEW YORK ESTAB. 1806. For the Delicate Skin of Ladies and Children. SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS. rjTEAM ENGINES AND BOILERS. FROM 4 to 350 Horse Power, including the cel ebrated Corliss Cut-off Engines. Slide Valve Sta tionery Engines, Portable Engines, Ac. Also, Circulur, Malay and Gang Saw Mills, Shafting, Pulleys, Ac., Lath and Shingle Mills, Wheat and Corn Mills, Circular Saws, Belting, Ac. Send for descriptive Circular and Price List. WOOD A MANN STEAM ENGINE CO., Utica, N. Y. Musket SHOT GUNS warranted To shoot close and kill 60 yards. Price, $2.50. Wanted.—Army Guns and Revolvers. Send stamp for price list Rifles, Shot Guns, Re volvers, to JOHNSTONS GUN WORKS, Pitts burgh, Pa. $9 A Day for all. Address A. J. FULLAM, N. Y. pn> 10.00 PER DAY GUARANTEED p*) Agents to sell the "Home Shuttle" Sewing Machine. It makes the LOCK STITCH, a like on both sides, has the under-feed, and is e qual in every respect to any Sewing Machine ev er invented. Price $25 Warranted for five years. Send for circular. Address JOHNSON, CLARK A CO., Boston, Mass., Pittsburg, Pa., or St. Louis, Mo. A SK your Doctor or Druggist for . \ SWEET QUININE—it equals (bitter) Qui nine. Is made only by F. STEARNS, Chemist, Detroit. ruarl9w4 "\7"OU CAN make large pay with our I STENCIL DIES. Samples free. S. M. SPENCER A CO., Brattleboro, Vt. \IT ANTED.— Energetic canvassers Vf to make from $lO to sls a day selling one of the most remarkable inventions of the age, Blake's $1 Patent Chair Springs, that make an easy rockiDg chair out of any chair. Boware of infringers. Send for circulars to the Patentee, Manufacturer and Proprietor. QOLBURN'S PATENT RED JACKET AXE. Is better than our regular shaped Axes for these reasons. First—lt cuts deeper. Second—lt don't stick in the Wood. Third—lt does not jar the hand. Fourth—No time is wasted in taking the Axe cut of the cut. Eifth—With the same labor you will do one-third more work than with regular Axes. Red paint has nothing to do with the good qualities of this Axe, for all our Axes ars painted red. If your hardware store docs not keep our goods, we will gladly answer in quiries or fill your orders direct, or give you the name of the nearest dealer who keeps our Axes. LIPPIXCOTT A BAKEWELL, Pittsburgh, Pa. Sole owners of Colburn's and Red Jacket Patents. SELF-HELP FOR THE ERRING —Words of Cheer for Young Men, who have fallen victims to SOCIAL EVILS, desire a better Manhood. Sent in sealed letter envelopes, free of charge Address HOWARD ASSOCIATION, Box P, Philadelphia, Pa rpHIRTY YEARS' Experience in X the Treatment of Chronic and Sexual Disea ses.—A Physiological View of Marriage.—The cheapest book ever published—containing nearly 300 pages, and 130 fine plates and engravings of the anatomy of the human organs in a state of health and disease, with a treatise on early errors, its deplorable consequences upon the mind and body, with the author's plan of treatment—the only rational and successful mode of cure, as shown by a report of cases treated A truthful advisor to the married and those contemplating marriage who entertain doubts of their physical condition. Sent free of postage to any address on receipt of 25 cents,in stamps or postal currency, by addressing Dr LA CROIX, No. 31 Maiden Lane, Albany, N. l. The author may be consulted upon any of the diseases upon which his books treat, either person ally or by mail, and medicines sent to any part of the world. julyl6w4 4 GENTS WANTED FOR CHAMBER LIN ' S L B A O W O K FOR THE PEOPLE! CONTAINING Full Instructions and Practical Forms, adapted to Every Kind of Business, and to all the States of the Union. BY FRANKLIN CHAMBERLIN, Of the United States Bar. "There is no book of the kind which will take rank with it for authenticity, intelligence, and completeness."— Springfield (Mass.) Repuh/i --can. This is the Only New Book of the kind pub lished for many years. It is prepared by an able Practical Lawyer, of twenty-fiive years' ex perience, and is just what everybody needs for daily use. It is highly recommended by many eminent Judges, including the Chief Justice and other Judges of Massachusetts, and the Chief Justice and entire Bench of Connecticut. Sold only by Subscription. Agents Wanted Everywhere. Send for Circulars. 0. D. CASE A CO., Publishers, Hartford, Conn. ; No. 1 Spruce St., New York ; Cincinnati, 0.; and Chicago, 111. CAUTION, An old law-book, published many years ago, has just been hastily re-issued as "a new book," without even a suitable revision of its obsolete statements. Do not confound that work with CHAMBKRLIM'B LAW-BOOK COR THK PEOPLE. july3om6. KEYSTONE CIDER MILLS, Warranted the best in the World at old pri ces, and WILLOUUIIBY'S CELEBRATED OliM SPRING AND ROLLER GRAIN DRILLS for sowing grain, grass seed and fertilizers, made with the shovels set zig-zag or in single rank. Fanners will buy no other Find Sold byHartly A Motzgar. exclusive Agents for Bedford and ad joining counties. Also a complete stock of building material, Blacksmith's tools, shoe findings, Leathers, Sad dling and a fu'l assortment of general Hardware, which for the Cash we will sell at City prices. HARTLEY A METZGER, jul3otf Sign of the Red Pad Lock WAGONS FOR SALE AT jjt) KNOX' BHOPB.. near Bed for p [aprltttf lb# torttf. DEMOCRATIC PI.ATFORM. 1. That the federal government is limited in power to the grants contain ed in the Federal Constitution; that the exercise of doubtful constitutional powers is dangerous to the stability of the government and the safety of the people, and the democratic party will never consent that the State of Penn sylvania shall surrender her great right of local self-government. 2. That thfe attempted ratification of the proposed fifteenth amendment to the Federal Constitution by the radi cal members of the last legislature, and their refusal to submit the same to a vote of the people, was a deliberate breach of their official duty and an outrage upon every citizen of the State, and the resolution making such ratifi cation should be promptly repealed and the amendment submitted to the people at the polls for acceptance or re jection. 3. That the Democratic party of Pennsylvania is opposed to conferring upon the negro the right to vote, and we do emphatically deny that there is any right or power in Congress or elsewhere to impose negro suffrage up on the people of this State in opposi tion to their will. 4. That reform in the administration of the federal and State governments, and in the management of their finan cial affairs is imperatively demanded. 5. That the movements now being made for the amelioration of the con dition of the laboring man has our most cordial co-operation. 0. That the legislation of the late re publican Congress "outside of the Con stitution," the disregard of the major ity therein of the will of the people and sanctity of the ballot box, in the exclu sion from their seats in Congress of representatives clearly elected, the establishment of military governments in States in the Union and the o verthrow of all civil governments therein, are acts of tyranny and usur pation that tend directly to the de struction of all republican government and the creation of the worst forms of despotism. 7. That our soldiers and sailors, who carried the Hag of our country to victo ry must be gratefully remembered, and all the guaranties given in their favni must be faithfully carried into execution. 8. Equal rights and protection for naturalized and native-born citizens at home and abroad ; the assertion of American nationality which shall command the respect of foreign pow ers and furnish an example an encour agement to people struggling for na tional integrity, constitutional liberty and individual rights. 9. That the present internal revenue and taxing system of the general gov ernment is grossly unjust, and means ought at once to be adopted to cause a modification thereof. The report was acceepted and unani mously adopted. TIIE COST OF A WOHIN OF THE l'EltlOO AVHE\ F11.1.Y MADE CP. Iler beautiful luxuriant blonde hair is worth, if it be a wig, from fifty to two hundred dollars ; if it be a switch, from ten to one hundred dollars; if it be in curls, from ten to fifty dollars. Her pure white brow, her dark, arched eyebrows, cost from four to fourteen dollars. Her large and liquid eyes are worth one dollar. Her white face and neck (when e nameled) are procured at a price ranging from fifteen to thirty-five. The glowing rose and virgin lily of her cheek costs anywhere with the va rious soaps and cosmetics, Ac., five dol lars. Her faultless, gleaming ivories, if false, cost her from twenty-five to two hundred dollars. Her ruby lips are worth about twen ty-five cents. Her round, plump cheeks, if plump ers, cost five dollars. Iler swelling bosom, is gotten up, if pads, for one or two dollars, if respira tors, for five or ten dollars, if balm and developers, for fourteen dollars. Her Grecian bend is worth any whero from nothing to ten dollars. Her plump arm (it padded) costs from nothing to three dollars. Her fair white arm (if bare) costs from one to threes dollars. Her Italian hands and aristocratic nails are worth from two dollars up wards. Her corsets (therefore her waist) is worth from seventy-five cents to thir ty dollars. Iler hips are rounded at a price from one dollar to six dollars and fifty cents. Her delicious limbs, when in the shape of false calves, cost from eight dollars and upward. Iler pretty little foot and ancle costs from seven dollars to thirty dollars. Her blotchers, tongue-scrapers, neck &c., are worth two dollars. The total beauty therefore costs, her self, or rather some man of the period, from about eighty-five to five hundred and fifty and upward, per occasion, just for her personal charms, entirely in dependent of her dry goods and love of bonnets. JUSTICE in Texas is still very rapid, if not always certain. A black mare was stolen from a liverv stable, and, after search, was heard from in a dis tant town. The proprietors sent a messenger after her, and a day or two afterwards received a dispatch as fol lows; "Your mare is here; I will bring her; thief hung." A VERDANT Cape Codder, upon see ing u locomotive for the first time, threw up his hands exclaiming, "By thunner, what a darned great stove!" For the Gazette. THE DRAFT. The following was written during the war, and was intended asa burlesque on the manner of doing business dur ing that troublous time by some of the "Boards of Enrollment," which prov ed themselves absurd and farcical in the extreme. Their "examinations" were neither scientific nor dignified, nor even conducted in reference to the merits or demerits of the case, but ac cording to whim or fancy, and, in many instances, in a spirit of/atorif/am. Men were sent into the service who were totally unfit, and according to the surgeon's examinations affliected with all the diseases that flesh is heir to and were only a charge to the government, whilst on the other hand, some who would have made good soldiers w ere allowed to go scot free on the most trivial pleas. SCENE: Board of Enrolembnt. Enter Conscript No. 1. 'What is your narno?' 'Graft ' 'What is your claim?' 'Daft. 1 'Where are you from ?' -Abaft.' 'Your mode of travel?' 'Raft.' 'Please state your craft.' 'Bilin hard 9oap and 'saft.' 'Well, Mr. Graft, you can waft,' And the 'Board' all 'laft.' Exit Conscript singing: 'Oh! what a blessed thing to be From every care and sorrow free ; From carrying guns and knopsacks, too, llow quick them chaps did put me through,' Enter Conscript No. 2. 'What is your claim ?' 'Rheumatic.' 'Anything else ?' 'Hepatic.' 'Your temperament ?' 'Lymphatic.' 'Your disposition ?' 'Erratio.' 'Your notions?' 'Dogmatic.' 'Your politics?' 'Not Democratic.' 'Your profession ?' 'Mattock.' 'Good By ! Rheumatic Lymphatic !' And the 'Board' was extatic. Exit Conscript singing : 'Heighe ! here we go— ' Didn't I tell you so ? Wonders sure will never cease, I am clear as slick as grease.' Enter Conscript No. 8. 'What is your name >' 'Skyles.' •What is your claim ?' 'Piles.' 'Have yeu any other?' 'Biles.' 'Where are you from V -Niles.' 'What is your business?' 'Tiles ' 'Pass out! Skyles, piles and biles,' Said the' Board,' all smiles. Laughing, extatic, smiling, Thus the 'Board,' its time beguiling. Powors mighty! scenes sublime ! Was there ever such a time ? Honest Abraham in the chair— Sound his praises everywhere— Heaven bless the good old man. And save from every selfish clan. Provost marshals and whiskey punch, Uncle Sam's table for a lunch, Greenbacks plenty for a sore shin, Now's the time, boys! let's pitch in ! Into the room struts Johnny Wike, Surgeon declares he ne'er saw the like Ramollissed brain —atrophied skull, Impared ideas, memory dull, Manifest disease within the pharynx, Apt to travel down into the larynx. Here's opthalmia, fistula, ptosis, Ectropion, entropion, amaurosis. Cataract, myopia and adfluxion, The devil himself might cause reduction, Anchylosis, caries, hypospadias, Spinal curvature, fractured radius, Hydrops, hydrocele, Hygroma, Rachitis, malaeosteon and Sarcoma, Atrophy, hypertrophy, phlogosis, Hypopyon, anoyblepharon and tnybosis, Eocondroma, hydrarthus, hydrothorax. And something wrong within the "borax He has consumption, gravel, gout, Small-pox, measles, inside and out, Yellow fevers, cholera, plague, And elephantiasis on bis leg, Syphilis, leprosy, struma, seabios, Hypochondria, dementia, rabies ; Sorry for you, Mr Johnny Wike, I really ne'er have seen the like, But, I'm compelled lo let you know, You must commute, substitute ox GO ! *####*#*##* HOW TO I.EXWTIIEX UFE. 1. Cultivate an equable temper ; ma ny a man has fallen dead in a fit of passion. 2. Eat regularly and not over throe times a day, and nothing between meals. 3. Go to bed at regular hours. Get up as soon as you wake yourself, and do not sleep in the day time, at least not longer than ten minutes before noon. 4. Work always by the day, and not by thejob. 5. Stop working before you are very much tired out—before you are "fag ged out." fi. Cultivate a generous and accommo dating temper. 7. Never cross a bridge before you come to it; this will save half the trou bles of life. 8. Never eat when you are not hun gry, or drink when you are not thirs ty- 9. Let your appetite always come un invited. 10. Cool off in a place greatly warm er than the one in which you have been exercising; this simple rule would prevent incurable sickness, and save millions of lives every year. 11. Never resist a call of nature for a single moment. 12. Never allow yourself to be chill ed "through and through it is this which destroys so many every year, in a few days sicknoas from pneumo nia, called, by some, lung fever or in flamation of the lungs. 13 Whosoever drinks no liquids at meals will add years of pleasurable ex istence to his life. Of cold or warm drinks the former are the most perni cious: drinks at meals induce persons to eat more than they otherwise would, as any one can verify by experiment; and it is excess In eating which devas tates the land with sickness, suffering and death. 14. After fifty years of age, if not a day laborer, and sedentary person after forty, should eat but twice a day, 9 in the morning and four in the after -ternoon; persons can soon accustom themselves to a seven-hour interval be tween eating, thus giving the stomach rest: every organ without adequate rest will "give out permanently."— Hairts Journal of Ueallh. FIERCE EIGHT: TWO WOMEN EN GAGE IN A BLOODY COMBAT IN TENNESSEE: ONE OL THEM HI 1.1.ED. Within seven miles of Dresden, in Weakly county, Tenn., lives an exten sive planter named Gobert. lie has one son, a lad of about twenty, with long flaxen hair and cowhide hoots. Gobert employs several colored people to work his land. Among those em ployed were two yellowish girls, of rather prepossessing appearance.— Young Gobert became familiar with both, to whom he gave slight tokens of his peculiar regard from time to time, but managed to keep each other in the dark with regard to his inter course with the other until last week. An accident led to the full knowl edge of his faithlessness, and both girls became violently enraged, not so much, however, against the betrayer as a gainst each other. At tirst they had a slight tight; some hair was torn up by the roots, and cuts about the face given on both sides, but the young gal lant parted them before any serious damage was done. The fire ofjealousy, however raged in the. bosoms of the two girls to such an extent that they silently and mutually resolved each to be the death of the other. On Friday, when the family had gone to Dresden to do business, the girls met in the yard, one an outdoor servant and one an Indoor servant. Both were armed with heavy sticks. The battle be- gan at once. According to the testi mony of the surviving lady, the con test lasted fifteen minutes, during which they frequently clinched, knock ed each other down, rolled over, bit and scratched terrifically. Sometimes the sticks would be dropped for fisticuf fing, and presently resumed again. The survivor, Jane, has an arm bro ken, an ear bit off, half her hair gone, and four or five contusions about the head and shoulders, and face scratched all over. The other girl, Kate, up to the moment of receiving the fatal stroke, appeared to have the best of the fight, as she bears no evidence of rough handling, save a blackened eye and the loss of two front teeth, which were rained down her throat by the point of the enemy's stick. Immedi ately that Jane's arm was broken at the elbow, she grasped her stick in the left hand, and, getting a clear and o pen stroke swung her weapon round, and came home on Kate's neck with such force that the girl dropped down, and never uttered a cry nor moved a limb—her neck was broken. Jane took to flight at once, and keeping in the woods as much as possible, did not stop until she fell exhausted, about seven miles from the scene of con flict, near Westley's farm house, where she was picked up by a colored employ ee of the latter establishment. When the family came home they found Kate cold and stiff in the yard where the fight took place, with every indi cation of a fearful battle having been fought. The Amazonian duelist was brought to Dresden, where she confess ed the whole tiling. Young Gobert has been put under arrest. The girl is in charge of a physician, who says that her injuries may prove fatal.—Nash ville Press. A KO.HA.MK LOVE STORY. The Count de St. Croix, belonging to one of the noblest families in France, became engaged after a long courtship to a lady his equal in position and for tune, and famous for her beauty. Shortly after the happy day was ap pointed which was to render two lov ing hearts one, the Count was ordered immediately to the siege of Sebasto pol; so he girded 011 his sabre, and at the head of his regiment marched to the battle-field. During the Count's absence it happened that his beautiful affianced had the small-pox ; afer hov ering between life and death she recov ered, but found her beauty hopelessly lost. The disease had assumed in her case the most virulent character, and left her not only disfigured but seamed and scarred to such an extent that she became hideous to herself, and resolv ed to pass the remainder of her days in the strictest seclusion. A year passed away, when one day the Count, immediately upon his re turn to France, accompanied by his valet, presented himself at the resi dence of his betrothed, and solicited an interview. This was refused. He, however, with the persistence of a lov er, pressed his suit, and finally the la dy made her appearance, closely muf fled in a veil. At the sound of her voice the Count rushed forward to em brace her, but stepping aside she then told him the story of her sorrow, and burst into tears. A heavenly smile broke over the Count's handsome feat ures, as raising his hand above he ex claimed: "It is God's work! I am blind!" It was even so. When gallantly leading his regiment to attack, a can non ball passed so closely to his eyes that, while it left their expression un changed, and his countenance unmark ed, it robbed him forever of sight. It is almost unnecessary to add that their marriage was shortly after solemnized. It is said that, at this day, may often be seen at the Emperor's receptions an officer leaning upon the arm of a lady closely veiled, and they seem to be at tracted to the spot by their love of mu sic. A few evenings since a widow, who was known by the entire congregation to be greatly in want of a husband, was praying with great fervency. "Oh, Lord, thou knowest what is the desire ol my heart," she exclaimed. "A in-a-11," responded a brother, in a ve ry broad accent. It was wicked, but we are sure several grave members smiled on the occasion. What female should a shoemaker al ways keep out of his establishment ? Miss Fit. VOL. 65.—WHOLE No. 5,501. THE DTTCXKAKO'G CASE. Some months ago, says an exchange, a gentleman advertised that he had discovered a sure specific for the cure of drunkenness. He would not di vulge the secret of what compounds he used, but furnished the medicine at so much per bottle. He did not have so many applicants for his cure as he expected, considering the extent of the disease. In fact the more malig nant cases did not seem anxious for re lief. They rather enjoy the malady. A few, however, plaeed themselves un der treatment, and some were cured— whether by taking the medicine or by not taking strong drinks we are not prepared to say. One of the cured ones had faith in the medicine, rigidly car ried out the directions of the doctor, and now lias not the least taste for in toxicating drinks; whereas, one year ago lie was an inebriate, and could not get along with less than a pint to a quart ol whisky per day. He said that, at some trouble and ex pense, he had procured the receipt for the preparation of the medicine, which he had published for the benefit of suf fering humanity. It is as follows: Sulphate of iron, five grains; pepper mint water, eleven drachms; spirit of nutmeg, one drachm, twice a day. This preparation acts as a tonic and a stirn lent, and so partially supplies the place of the accustomed liqour, and prevents that absolute physical pros tration that follows the sudden break ing off from the use of stimulating drinks. It is to be taken in quantities equal to an ordinary dram andasoften as the desire for a dram returns. Any druggest can prepare the prescription. It is :aid this preparation will soon re move all longing for intoxicating drinks. Try it, you who honestly wish to break away from a habit which is hurrying you to a drunkard'sgrave. JUST THE SAME.—Some years ago (so the story goes), a farmer living not a thousand miles from New York, gave one of his sons some money, and told him to go out West and remain two years ; at the end of which time, if he would return to a specified place, one of his brothers would meet him. The young man went, and returned and met his brother according to ap pointment, although no communica tion had taken place between them duriJJJg the time. While going home ward together, the wanderer, after re lating some of his adventures, inquir ed whether anything had happened since he had left home. "No, not a single thing," replied the other, "everything is just the same as when you left, except the old crow died." "Indeed," said the wanderer, "and is the old crow dead? What killed him ?" "Why he ate too much meat when the matched horses died." "Good gracious! are the matched horses dead? What killed them?" "Well you see when the house and barn was burned, they overdid them selves in hauling water." "Good gracious! are the house and barn burned down? How did it hap pen ?" "Well, you see, when daddy died, they were carrying lights about, and were careless." "Good gracious! and is daddy dead ? "What was the matter with him?" "Well, you see, when Sal ran away and got married against daddy's wish es, he just pined away and died." "Good gracious! so nothing has hap pened since I've been away ?" "No, everything is just the same." How SHE KNEW.—Two young mis ses discussing the qualities of some your.g gentleman were overheard to say: "Well, 1 like Charley, but he is a little girlish ; he hasn't got the least bit of a beard." "I say Charley has got a beard, but he shaves it off." "No, he hasn't either, any more than I have." "I say he has, too, and I know it, for it pricked my cheek." That's how she knew. "llo.w many children have you ?" asked a gentleman of one of his labor ers, looking around in surprise upon the family. "Better than a dozen , sir." "I only make out eleven," said the gentleman. "Faith, an' isn't that better than a dozen, sir, when one has to feed 'em?" 'SISTEK,' said one of the brethern at a love feast, are you happy?' 'Yes, deacon, I feel as though I was in Beel zebub's bosom !' 'Not in Beelzebub's bosom!' Well, someof the patriarchs, I don't care which.' A boozy fellow was observed the other day, driving a "porker," hold ing on to his tail, and when asked what he was doing, replied that he was gehog-raphy." A man once went to an eccentric lawyer to be qualified for some petty office. The lawyer said to him, "Hold up your hand. I'll swear you, hut all creation couldn't qualify you." An itinerant, preaching on the "De pravity of the Age," said that the lit tle children who could neither speak nor walk, were to be seen running a bout the streets cursing and swearing. JOSH BILLINGS says; "When a young.man ain't good for nothing else I like tew see him have a gold headed cane. If he can't buy a cane, let him part his hair in the middle." The lady who took everybody's eye must have a lot of 'em. The man who was filled with emo tion hasn't room for a dinner. Subscribe for the GAZETTE.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers