srtj-soofls, tU.
WASH BUYERS, TAKE NOTICE!
SAVE YOUR GREENBACKS!
NEW
FALL AND WINTER GOODS,
just reoeived,
At J. M. SHOEMAKER'S Store,
AT GREATLY REDUCED PRICES!
Having just returned from the East, we are now
opening a large stock of Fall and Winter Goods,
which have been BOUGHT FOR CASH, at nett
cash prices, and will be SOLD CHEAP. This be
ing the only full stock of goods brought to Bedford
this season, persons will be able to suit themselves
better, in style, quality and price, than at any
other store in Bedford The following comprise a
few of our prices, viz :
Calicoes, at 10, 12, 14, 15, 16 and the
best at 18 cents.
Muslins at 10, 12, 14, 15, 16, 18, and
and the best at 22 cents.
All Wool Flannels from 40cts. up.
French Merinoes, all wool Delaines, Coburgs, Ac.
SHAWLS —Ladies', children's and misses'
shawls, latest styles ; ladies'cloaking cloth.
MEN'S WEAR—Cloths, cassimeres. satinetts
jeans. Ae.
BOOTS AND SHOES--In this line we have a
very extensive assortment for ladies, misses, chil
dren. and men's and boys' boots and shoes, all sizes
and prices, to suit all.
HATS—A largo assortment of men's and boys'
hats.
CLOTHING—Men's and boys' coats, pants and
vests, all sizes and prices
SHIRTS, Ae.—Men's woolen and muslin shirts;
Shakspeare, Lock wood and muslin-lined paper
collars; cotton chain (single and double, white
and colored).
GROCERIES—Coffee, sugar, syrups, green and
black teas, spices of all kinds, dye-stuffs, Ac.
LEATHER—SoIe leather, French and city calf
skins, upper leather, linings, Ac.
Wa will sell goods on the same terms that
we tiave been for the last three months —cash, or
note with interest from date. No bad debts con
tracH>d and no extra charges to good paying cus
tomers to make up losses of slow and never paying
customers. Cash buyers always get the best bar
gains, and their accounts are always settled up.
J. M. SHOEMAKER,
Bedford, 5ep.27,'67. No. 1 Anderson's Row.
10 per cent, saved in buying your
goods for cash, at J. M. SHOEMAKER'S cash and
produce store. No. I Anderson's Row.
sep27 _
/ IREAT BARGAINS!
IT
The undersigned have opened a very full supply
of
FALL AND WINTER GOODS.
Our-stock is complete and is not surpassed in
EXTENT.
QUALITY AND CHEAPNESS.
The old system of
"TRUSTING FOREVER"
having exploded, we are determined to
SELL GOODS UPON THE SHORTEST PROFIT
FOR
CASH OR PRODUCE.
; To prompt paying customers we will extend
a credit of four mouths, but we wish it expressly
understood, after the period named, aoeount will be
due and interest will accrue thereon.
BUYERS FOR CASH
may depend upon
GETTING BARGAINS.
n0v1,'67 A. B. CRAMER A CO.
GOODS!! NEW GOODS!!
iTie undersigned has just reseived from the East a j
large and varie 1 stock of New Goods,
which arc now open for
examination, at
MILL-TOWN,
two utiles West of Bedford, comprising everything
usually found in a first-class courtry store,
consisting, in part, of
Dry-Goods,
* Delaines,
Calicoes,
Muslins,
Cassimers,
Boots and Shoes,
Groceries,
Notions,
Ac., Ac.
All of which will be sold at the most reasonable
prices.
Thankful for p.ist favors, we solicit a con
tinuance ot the public patronage.
Call and examine our goods.
may24,'67. G. YEAGER
FIRM! NEW FIRM!
GOOD GOODS ARE DOWN!
SCHELLSBURG AIIEAD!
NEW GOODS! NEW GOODS!
just received and will be sold
AT GREATLY REDUCED PRICES.
Call at BLACK A MARBOURG'S,
in Schellsbnrg,
IF YOU WANT CHEAP GOODS of any kind ' .
We have no big stoek of old goods at big prices. ,
Our stock is nearly all fresh and new. Look at j
some of our prices :
MUSLINS, from 10 to 17 cents.
CALICOS, from 8 to 15 cents.
CLOTHS and CASSIMERES at reduced prices.
DRESS GOODS, all kinds, cheaper than before
the war.
ALL WOOLEN GOODS 25 per oent. cheaper
than any that have been sold this season.
Gloves,
Hosiery,
etc., etc., etc.,
very low.
Groceries,
Queensware,
Wooden Ware
&c., Ac.,
at the lowest market prices.
If you want Good Bargains and Good Goods,
call at BLACK A MARBOURG'S.
Sohellsburg, Dec. 6iu3
ATKW ARRIVAL.—Just received
at M C. FETTERLY'S FANCY STOKE,
Straw H its and Bonnets, Straw Ornaments, Rib
bous Flowers, .Millinery Goods. Embroideries.
Handkerchiefs, Bead-trimmings. Buttons. Ho-iery
and Gloves, While Goods. Parasols and Sun-Um
brellas, Balmorals and Hoop Skirts. Fancy Goods
aud Notions, Ladies' and Children's Shoes. Our
ass irtiuent contains all that is new and desirable.
Thankful for former liberal patronage we hope
to be able to merit a ooutinuance from all our cus
tomers. Please call and see our newstook.
maySl
BY MEYERS & MENGEL
riLORIOUB NEWS!
FOR
THE PEOPLE!
TELL IT! EVERYBODY TELL IT!
COTTON NO LONGER KING!
G. 11. OSTER & CO.
Are now receiving at their NKM STORE a
large and carefully selected stock of new and
CHEAP Dry Goods, Furs, Clothing. Carpetings,
Oil cloths. Hats, Caps, Boots, Shoes, Wall papers,
Willow-ware, Queens-ware, Oils, Tobaccos, Segars,
Ac., together with an extensive assortment of Fresh
O
Groceries, which for extent and CHEAPNESS is
unrivaled in Central Pennsylvania, all of which
they offer wholesale or retail at prices that defy
competition. Piles of calico prints and muslin
from 6} cents up to sublime quality.
They invite all to call, see for themselves and
be convinced.
TERMS .—POSITIVELY CASH on DELIVERY, un
less otherwise specified.
Beoford, Pa.. Dec.13,"67m3.
lOW DOLLARS REWARD! !
" Just received at the New Imperial
BARGAIN STORE.
A handsome assortment of
NEW SPRING GOODS.
As goods are now advancing daily, and no doubt
will be much higher, we think families cannot buy
too soon. G. R. OSTER A 00.
feb2Bm2
Ui.iooo DOLLARS WORTH! !
ef>
ot Boots and Shoe 3of every description and best
Manufacture, just received and For Sale 25 per
cent Cheaper than heretofore.
The Boot and Shoe Department of
G. R. OSTER \ CO.
has become a leading feature in their business,
and is now the place to get Good as well as Cheap
Boots atid shoes, as they have the largest and best
assortment in town. feb2sm2
JJATS! HATS!!
Just received the leading New Spring Styles of
Gents, Boys and Children's Hats, ntueh cheaper
than heretofore. We would call special attention
to the Gents Self-conforming Cussimere dress Hat,
also the Velvet finish Seif-conforming Flexible
Band Hat. These Hats will be found to be very
desirable, being very soft in band and conforming
immediately to the shape of the head,
fob-bin 2 G. R. OSTER A CO.
a NOTHER VETO ON HIGII
PRICES!
YOU CAN SAVE MONEY
by buying your GOODS of
MILLER A BOWSER,
Maun s Corner, - BEDFORD, Pa.
They are now opening a choice variety of
NEW AND DESIRABLE
FALL AND WINTER GOODS.
Dry-Goods,
Ready-Made Clothing,
Fancy Goods,
Notions,
Cotton Yarn,
Hats and Caps,
Boots and Shoes,
Groceries,
Queensware,
Wooden ware,
Tobacco and Cigars,
Brooms,
Baskets,
Ac., Ac., Ac.
TJQOK AT SOME OF THEIR PRICES:
CALICO, at 8, 10, 12, 15, 16.
GINGHAM, at 12J, 15, 18, 20.
MUSLIN, at 10, 12, 14, 15, 18, 20.
Cassimeres, Cloths, Satinettsand
i Ladies' Sacking, at very low prices
I Ladies', Gents' and Misses'
i Shoes. Sandals and Over-Shoes, in great variety.
Men's, Boys' and Youths' Boots,
egg- Best Coffee, Tea, Sugar and Syr-
I up in the market. Prices low
Feed, Flour, Ac., for sale at all
j times.
We invite all to call and see our
goods and compare prices before buying elsewhere.
Gg"- Our motto is, Short Proffits.
GGF TERMS—Cash, Note or Produce.
oct2s,'S7
OELLERS & FOLWELL,
| WHOLESALE
CONFECTIONERS and FRUITERERS,
No. 161 North Third Street,
PHILADELPHIA.
feb2lm3 Orders promptly attended to.
| TERMS OF PUBLICATION.
I THE BEDFORD GAZF.TTE is published every Fri
! .lay morning by MEYERS A ME\3EL. at $2.00 per
annum, if paid strictly m advance ; $2.50 if paid
within six months; $3 00 if not pain within six
months. All subscription accounts MUST be
\ settled annually. No paper will be sent out of
| the State unless paid for IN ADVANCE, and all such
subscriptions will invariably be .discontinued at
the expiration of the time for which they are
j paid.
All ADVERTISEMENTS for a less terra than
j three months TEN CENTS per line for each In
! sertion. Special notices one-half additional AG
resolutions of Associations; communications of
limited or individual interest, and notices of mar
riages and denths exceeding five line-, ten cents
! per"line. Editorial notices fifteen cents per line.
All legal Notices of every kind, and Orphans'
! Court and Judicial Sales, are required by law
! to be published in both papers published in this
! place.
far All advertising due after first insertion.
A liberal discount is made to persons advertising
by the quarter, half year, or year, as follows :
3 months. 6 months. 1 year.
♦One square ---$4 50 $6 00 $lO 00
j Two squares - - - 600 900 10 00
Three squares --- 800 12 00 20 00
I Quarter column - - 14 00 20 00 3o 00
! Half column - - - 18 00 25 00 45 00
; One column - - - -30 00 45 00 80 00
♦One square to occupy one inch of space.
JOB PRINTING, of every kind, done with
neatness and dispatch. THE GAZETTE OFFICE has
just been refitted with a Power Press and new type,
j and everything in the Printing line can be execu
i ted in the most artistic manner and at the lowest
■ rates.— TERMS CASH
All letters should be addressd to
MEYERS A MENGEL,
Publishers.
I vi he § eilfcml (biwttt.
A TAX BIDDEN PEOPLE.
The St. Louis Democrat, a Radical pa
| per,, declares that "industry languishes,
land the whole country suffers because
of the burdens of taxation."
'•They ai © taxed on their clothing tneir lueat and
their bread,
On their caepets, their dishes, their tables and bed,
On their tea and their coffee, their fuel and lights;
They are taxed so severely they can't sleep o'
nights.
; They are taxed on their offices, stores and their
shops,
On their stoies, their wash tubs, their brooms and
their mops,
On their shrouds and their tombstones, and after
they die,
They are tax ed on the coffins in which they must
lie.
They are stamped on their mortgages, notes, checks
and bills,
On their deeds, on their contracts, and on their
List wills;
And the 'Star Spa.igtcd Banner' in mourning doth
wave,
O'er the wealth of the nation stamped into the
grave.
They are taxed on all goods by kind Providence
given,
They arc taxed on the ISible thi.it points thein to
Heaven ;
And when they ascend to their heavenly goal,
They would, if they could, stick sW mps on their
soul
"31EET MtTKt' HE."
The Selma Messenger tells the follow
ing capital story as genuine and au
thentic :
Among the most enterprising and
industrious merchants of Seima is one
whom we will call Smith, principally
( because it isn t his name, who is bless
j ed with a most exemplary wife in all
respects save one—she is of rather a
jealous disposition. Mr. Smith lias
been of late very much engrossed in
Ids business, and has often consumed
his evenings over Ids ledger instead of
in the bosom of his family, as has
been his custom for years. In reply
to the queries of Mrs. Smith on the
! subject, he would always say that he
was employed in his business. She did
not understand how business could
take up so much of his time, and her
suspicions were aroused that all was
not right. Visions of hours spent by
| her husband in other female society
than her own haunted her mind, and
• she made an inward vow to watch him
and see for herself.
Soon after arriving at this resolu
tion a telegram arrived for her hus
band and was sent to his office, which
was closed, as he had gone to his sup
-1 per. The carrier went to his house
j and delivered it to the servant at the
door. The gentleman not having ar
: rived, it was handed to his wife, who
' with true feminine curiosity, read it.
i It was plain and short:
MONTGOMERY-, Dec.— , 1867.
MR. SMITH :—Meet Gertrude to
night.
Here was a horrible confirmation of
her worst fears. Controlling herself
as best she could, she laid the dispatch
by his plate. He came in, read it, and
said "he would have to go down after
j supper, and might not be back till
i late." He hurried through his meal,
' took his hat, and walked hurriedly
down tiie street. Before he had turn
led the corner his wife was following
him, swiftly and noiselessly. He went
straight on. she close behind, until he
readied the wharf.
After an apparent inspection of the
surroundings, he stepped down the hill
and took a seat in the office of the
"Magnolia." llis wife took a position
where she could see him through the
glass door, and waited for the finale—
which was expected in the shape of
■ the Gertrude whom her faithless
spouse was to meet. Time dragged
1 on wearily, and the lady became drow
sy and at last fell into a doze, from
which she was aroused by the shrill
whistle of an approaching steamer.—
Nearer and nearer she came, and as
she rounded to, the name Gertrude,
: in large, brightly painted letters, met
the view of the jealous wife, aud a
Stentorian voice, inquiring if Smith
' was on hand, completed her awaken
ing.
At a glance the position was realiz-
BEDFORD, PA., FRIDAY MORNING, MARCH 27, 1868.
Ed, and the poor woman could have
cried for vexation as she SAW her hus
band and another gentleman hurried
ly ffhnsacting some business within a
few feet of her. At that moment a
tipsy negro came stum! ling along,
and seeing a woman s drPbS half hid
den among the bales and boxes of
merchandize, seized her, exclaiming!
"Come out oh ok gal!" Her
scream of terror brought her husband
to the scene, whose astonishment may
he imagined. She fell into his arms,
with a hysterical burst ot sobs, and ex
planations ensued.
The party returned to their home
in a hack, and somebody's head was
on somebody's bosom all the way.—
Since that time, all that Smith has to
do to avert a scolding, is to insinuate
that he will "meet Gertrude."
\% IXCIDEVrOF THE i'KESS RE A
ISGS.
An incident worth mentioning oc
curred in Carrol nail, the second night j
of the Dickens readings. Ben. Butler
entered after the performance had com-'
menced, and walked down the centre I
aisle while Dickens was describing one j
of the most interesting scenes in his
selections from David Copperfield.— j
Perhaps Benjamin was unavoidably j
detained, or perhaps he wished to
make his appearance at the time when
he could attract that amount of atten- j
tion which bethinks is due to his erai- j
nent abilities and great public services. |
There are those who adopt this as one
of the ways of keeping before the peo- j
p!e, some of them men of marked zeal
in religious atfairs, who never enter the
church till the congregation is well
seated, and then walk straight to the
front pew. If General Butler hadn't
his mind's eye on this idea on the occa
sion referred to, his motives were mis
understood, that's all.
Well, the hero of Bermuda walked
down the aisle the observed of all obser
vers, and took his seat in a \ cry select -
and advantageous part of the hall. The
first selection was soon concluded, and
Mr. Dickens retired as he was wont to
for ten minutes of rest and refreshment.
The rustle and bus le consequent upon
a relaxation of attention followed.—
There were whisperings among the
older folks, and flirtings among the
younger, in the midst of which uprose
Butler from his seat, either to observe
or be observed, hard to tell which
though I incline to the latter belief.
There was no mistaking that bald head,
or that strabismic eye. It was Benja
min F. Butler, and nobody else.
The intermission, like alt things on
this earth, had its end. Dickens appear
ed- :?nd the readings were resumed.-
Tliis titbit was a selection from Pick
wick—the famous Bob Sawyer party
scene. It was vcrj' funnv > as xve all
know, and the was, at times,
immoderate. There was a how
ever, af which the laugh beca.* ue ver - v
much like a vulgar roar, and v. '* lll 1
the funniest part of the readings by an. v
means. Mr. Dickens felt a little con-1
fused, I thought, for a man of his nice j
perceptions knows exactly where the'
fun comes in, and we all know there is j
such a thing possible as a laugh at the
expense of an actor, which is always
more vivid'tlmn that provoked by the
play. Dickens evidently thought lie
had blundered. But he hadn't. Ile |
had simply read the following colloquy I
between Hopkins and Noddy—and the |
audiencchadjustseen Butler, and every !
one knew he was present:
"I request that you'll favor me with
your card sir."
"I'll do nothing of the kind, sir."
"Why not, sir?"
"Because you'll stick it up over your i
chimney-piece, and delude your visi
tors into the false belief that a gentle
man has been to see you, sir."
"Sir, a friend of mine-shall wait on
you in the morning."
"Sir, I am very much obliged to you |
for the caution ; and I'll leave particu- j
lar directions with the servants to look \
up the spoons."
The laugh, Mr. Dickens, which so ex
ceeded all bounds as to preplex you,
was due solely to a .connection in the
popular mind between General Butler
and-spoons!—' "Mack," Wash. (hr. Cin.
Commercial.
IF YOU would have A loving wife be
as gentle in your words after as be
fore marriage; treat her quite as ten
derly when a matron as when a miss;
don't make her the maid of all work
and ask her why she looks less tidy
and neat than when "you first knew
her;" don't buy cheap, tough beef, and
scold because it docs not come on the
table "porter house;" don't grumble
about squalling babies if you cannot
keep up a "nursery," and remember
that "baby may take after its papa" in
disposition ; don't smoke and chew to
bacco, and thus shatter your nerves,
and spoil your temper, and make your
breath a nuisance, and then complain
that your wife declines to kiss you ; go
home joyous and cheerful to your wife
and tell her the good news you have
heard, and not silently put on your hat
and go to the "club" or "lodge," and
let her afterwards learn that you have
spent the evening at the opera or at a
fancy ball with Mrs. Dash. Loveyour
wife; be patient; remember you are
not perfect, but try to be; let whisky,
tobacco, and vulgar company alone;
spend your evenings with your wife,
and live a decent, christian life, and
your wife will be loving and true—if
you did not marry a heartless beauty
without sense or worth ; if you did,
who is to blame if you suffer the conse
quences?
THE "Klixancii RAILROAD."
The Omaha Herttkl enlarges upon the
superior attraction of this new rail
road route, which, it says, has just ,
been completed, and will be open to
passenger traHic as soon as a proper
agent can be found to sell the \iekets.
It announces:
Through tickets daily for eternity,
and all stations beyond the grave,
connecting closely with the ferries at
the river Styx, forall points on the oth
er side of Jordan. Passengers should
take no other route. The cheapest
and shortest way to the tomb. It is
with a great deal of pleasure that
the officers of this road announce its
completion.
This road has been carefully built
by experienced workmen, who have
graduated at the bast slaughter-house
in the land. The scenery along the
line is remarkably fine, consisting
principally or yawning chasms,
charming precipices, and shaky tres
tles. The rails are laid very loose,
and without extra spikes, which,
when cars are going at full speed,
keeps the passenger in delightful mo
tion, settles his dinner, and some
times his "hash" most effectually.
The coaches are full of wood
which in case of accident, always splin
ters, and thus give passengers hold
ing insurance tickets a chance to make
a little money, with an occasional prize,
in case of death. The seats are con
structed on an entirely new plan, being
made in the shape of a coffin, so that
the holder ofa ticket, in case of acci
dent, can he immediately boxed up and
sent homo.
The stoves arc of a new and unique
patent, and known as the Railway
Cooking Stoves. It is calculated that,
with a good fire a first class passenger ;
can i e thoroughly cooked in ten or fif
teen minutes, although much morespeed
can be attained if neeessary.
The attention of the traveling public !
is directed to the new and unique style
of tomb stones, furnisho i by this com
pany to those purchasing through tick
ets. j
A large corps of undertakers at each
station, and elegant hearse cars accom
pany each train.
The sleeping cars upon this road are
got up regardless of expenses, and pas
sengers can sleep without fear ofbeing
awakened by the noise of their conduc
tors.
In fact, most of our passengers
never wake up after once getting to
sleep.
Wives having cross husbands,
should have them purchase tickets
on this route; trfey will never scold a
gain.
The Government is about to do a
way with capital punishment, crimi
nals being furnished with tickets over
this line.
! Death is certain, and the system of
j hanging is thus avoided.
Revolvers, poison, and butcher
' knives on each train for the amuse
ment and use of patrons when they are
tired o^ pidin -
No repa/.** are allowed on coaches ;
the wheels,
used till they bretak or burst. v-oro
llers on each train.
Collisions inevitable and explosions
sure. Persons wishing to reach Ue
mansions in the skies, ask for" tickets
via this line.
Life insurance tickets furnished grat
is those desiring the same.
WADE IXU TIIEJPKESIOEXCY.
The Constitution of the Union, says
tiie Cincinnati Enquirer , excludes the
Vice l'resi ent from presiding in the
Senate when it is organized as a Court
of Impeachment for the trial of the
President of the United States. In
all other impeachments lie presides,
but in this case the Chief-Justice takes
his place at the head of the Senate. —
The Reason of it is that, being Vice-
President, he would succeed the Presi
dent if he was successfully impeached,
and therefore has a great interest in se
curing his conviction. BENJIMAN I*.
WADE, of Ohio, now stands in the po
sition of a Vice-President. He is the
President of the Se.nate. There being
no Vice-Prssident, he draws the salary
of that office; and in eaJ'e 'if the death
or removal of the Chief
becomes the President. U x ° has the
same interest, therefore, in his remo
inoval as the Vice-President. The
same constitutional reasons that w>
prevent a regularly-chosen Vice
dent from acting in a President's trial
applies to Mr. WADE. But the latter
cares nothing for the Constitution. lie
cares nothing for individual decency or
self-respect. He insists upon being one
of the President's judges, with the
tern ptation before him of the President's
office, in case he is convicted. He is
admitted to be a deeply interested jur
or. if his vote secures the impeach
ment of the President, his salary is in
creased from $3,000 to Si"), 000 a year,
together with all the immense patron
age and power of the office. Under
these circumstances, what must be
the shameful effrontery of that
man who would insist upon being
sworn in as a party to decide upon
what was really his own ease? It can- J
not be estimated. He must have a j
cheek of iron and a forehead of brass, j
But BENJIMAN F. WADE is that man. j
With an indecency that would almost j
shame Satan himself, he approaches the I
bar of the Senate to take an oath only to
bi given to a fair and disinterested
judge.
But, execrable as is his conduct. how>
VOL. 62.—WHOLE No. 5,436.
much more infamous is that of the
Senate itself, which permits such an
outrage upon every prieiple of justice
such a scandal upon common and or
dinary decency—to be consummated ?
But it does soeven without a murmur.
A majority of its members are little if
any better than WADE. They have
prejudged and decided the case in ad
vance against the President. \\ ith
out hearing a word from the party accus
ed—with no trial whatever —before any
impeachment—the Senate decided, by
resolution, that the Persident had vio
lated the Constitution by the removal
of STANTON, and the appointment of
General THOMAS, as Secretary of War.
Thus the President appears, for what
is called a trial, before a body of judges
who are either interested against him,
or who, in advance of any trial, have
made up their minds in the case! It
is such a body—such an organization
—that the Radical press calls a High
■ Court of Impeachment.
A DARKEY JURY.—At a recent ses
sion of the court in South Carolina, an j
entire colored jury was empanelled. A
case was brought before them—the j
witnesses examined and the attorneys
made their respective arguments. The j
Judge after laying down the law, and j
recapitulating the testimony, gave the j
papers into the hands of the foreman—
an intelligent looking darkey—with
instructions to bring in a verdict with
out delay.
Thirty minutes or more elapsed when
the Jury returned, headed by the fore
man, and stood before the Judge.
As the foreman appeared to hesitate,
and to wear a disappointed look, the
Judge asked—
"Mr. Foreman, have you found a ver
dict ?"
"No Massa Judge, we haven't found
'em," replied the ebony juryman.
"It's a very plain case," said the
Judge.
"Can't help it, massa, couldn't see
it."
"On what grounds?"
"We didn't look into the grounds,
Massa Judge," replied the puzzled fore
man ; "de ossifer didn't take us out into
thegrounds, but betook us into a room,
i and locked us in and told us when we
found de verdict, he would luff us out.
So we began to find de verdict, and we
searched every nook, corner, crebiee,
and everything dar was in dat room,
but we found no verdict —no, Massa
Judge, dar was no verdict —noffinof de
! kind dar."
Two WESTERN HUNTERS, named
Hotfmun and Cowan, both good shots,
and notalittlegiven to boasting of their
skill, went out one day on h deering
expedition. Shortly after separating
in the woods, Hoffman heard Cowan's
gun fired off,—when he went to the
spot, expecting to help Cowan hang up
a deer.—He found him loading his gun,
and shouted out, —
"Hallow, Cowan! what did you
shoot at just now?"
"None o' your business: go along
over the hill."
Surprised at this crusty answer, Hoff
man looked around, and discovered a
among the bushes. Again he cried
out,—
"I ssy Cowan, did you shoot at the
calf?" ' .
"Yes, I did; but it's none o' your
business."
"Why what made you shoot at it ?"
"Why, I took it for a deer."
"Well, did you hit it ?"-
"No: I missed it."
"How did you miss it ?"
"Why, I wasn't quite sure that it
wasn't a calf."
"You are a pretty specimen of ft hun
ter," rejoined Hoffman, "to shoot at a
calf for a deer, and miss it at that!"
"Don't make a fool of yourself,"
replied Cowan ; "I shot at it just so as
to hit it if it was a deer, and miss it if
it was a calf."
•'Where are you going with that
miserable animal ?" asked a traveler
of a farmer who was dragging a lean,
wretched-looking horned sheep along
the road.
"I am taking him to the 'mutton
mid,' to have him ground over," said
the farmer.
"The mutiou-wiU ! I never heard of
such a thing. I will go with you and
witness the process."
They arrived at the mill. The sheep
was thrown alive int the hopper, and
almost immediately disappeared. They
then descended to a lower apartment,
' and in a few moments there wereeject
from a spout in the ceiling, four
qUf , Hers of excellent mutton, tieo sides
of nu v '* yy) leather, a icool hat of the first
quality a sheep's head (handsomely
dressed',)" imd two elegantly carved poie
der-horm.
—"Dan Sidles" recently spoke his
piece at Mauc hester. N. H , and to
quiet some loud the ,ad t ieß
in the gallery, the chairman banged a
way upon tle desk declaring that it
the ladies want tohea'f they must keep
quiet." To which one of the iulies re
plied, in clear, ringing voice, "We
didn't come to hear, we came to see
the murderer." Poor Dan. was as
white as a sheet, and his speech was
felt by his friends to be a failure, fie
talked as though the ghost of a mur
dered man hung before bis eyes.
—Gov. Oglesby, of Illinois, was the
first fool or knave to offer troops to the
Bump Congress. Geary is only a base
imitator, and even copied, nearby ver
batim, Oglesby's first sentence.
ITKAVF.3 IN HORSES.- \V E would rc
mind our readers that horses, fed in
part on carrots, never suffer from
heaves; they will be found to have a
silky coat as well as a loose hide, and
enjoy far better health than when ha\
and oats alone are used. Three quarts
of carrots and three quarts of oats will
sustain a horse much better than six
quarts of oats. When the carrots form
part of the feed, all the oats will be di
gested and assimilated ; whereas, when
oats alone are fed, the dung will he
found to contain whole oat shells, un
dccomposed starch, amounting to
more than half the quantity of oats
consumed.
The floor of every cutting box should
be ribbed or opened, so as to permit all
dust to pass down before the hay reach
es 'he cutting knives.
Many horses are rendered asthmatic
by being fed dusty hay, and, conse
quently, every means calculated to re
move the dust should bo resorted to.
LABELS FOR FRUIT TREES.—We
have found the following receipt, taken
from an English work, to make an in
delible Ink, for writing on zinc, and
one not affected by the weather. Cut
up the common sheet zinc in:o strips
about half an inch wide by 2 or 3 inch
es long, and write with a quill pen.
The zinc should previously lie made
bright. Through a hole at one end in
troduce a thin copper wire, long o
nough to encircle a branch or limb,
and it will remain for years, giving tu
the owner of a newly planted orchard
the satisfaction of knowing, at alt
times, his varieties. Care in respect to
labels would obviate much of the con
fusion in all parts of the country, as to
correct nomenclat ure.—"Takea drachm
of Verdegris, 1 drachm Sal-ammonia
powder and half a drachm of Lamp
black, and mixed with 10 drachms of
water." Shake beloro using.
APPLYING PLASTER. —A correspon
dent of the Massachusetts Ploughman
having asked to be informed 'of
the most proper season of the year for
the application of plaster to pasture
lands for renovation; also, the best
method of applying the same, the
best quantity per acre neccessary for a
fair trial, and the quality of land to
which it is adapted—the editor replied
as follows :
We think the early spring tho best
season, say the latter part of March or
early in April. We would sow broad-
the rate of about two hundred
pounds to the acre. Ililly pastures,
with a northern aspect and a moist,
mossy soil, are most benefitted by its
application. On granite soil or soils
throughout the gneiss formation,
which usually contain more or less
potash, plaster works promptly and ef
fectively. But on locations where it
has not been found to work so well, it
should be applied in connection with
wood ashes.
"Where plaster has any perceptible
effect at all, it brings in a luxurant
growtn of white clover and otherwise
improves the grasses. Many farmers
apply it regularly once in two years,
and find it the cheapest and most e
conomical dressing they can apply. It
ought to bo fresh ground. The dark
variety isthought to bethestrongestand
best. - *
FODDER FOR HTOC K.—lt is probable
that considerable land designed for
corn the present Spring will fail to be
planted on account of the prevalence
of wet weather. In such case, it would
be a good plan to sow corn for fodder
purposes. Good land will produce a
heavy burthen of this kind of food for
cattle. It is especially good for dairy
stock, and may be fed in a green or in
a dry state. The sweet variety is con
sidered the best, and it is richer and
eaten more readily than any other,
What is not used in a green state may
be cut and dried for winter use. It
may be fed whole, or cut up and mixed
with something else, as circumstances
shall dictate.
FIELD WORK.—Clover and Grass
seed may bo sown on the winter grain.
Grain and grass fields may be rolled as
soon as the frost is out, thus resetting
the roots laid bare by the action of the
frost and wind, and sinking the small
stones. Plowing and harrowing may
bo done when the ground is dry e
nough. Potatoes may be planted on
warm, early land, being goodsized
seed not cut small, and if cut at all left
some days to "hoal" before planting.
WHAT PLEASURE IS IT TO PAY
ONE'S DEBTS.--It seems to flow from a
combination of circumstances. It re
moves that uneasiness which a true
spirit feels from dependence and obli
gation. It affords pleasure to the cred
itor, and therefore gratifles our social
affection. It promotes the future con
fidence which is so very interesting to
the honest mind; it opens a prospect
of being really supplied with what we
wanton future occasious; it leaves a
consciousness of our own virtue ; and
it is a measure we know to be right,
both in point of justice and sound econ
omy. Finally, it is the main support
of a business reputation.
—Sumner declares that "before we stop
vve shall have a stable government."—
Judging from the number of asses at
the Capital, we are in need of such a
convenience.
—lf nature had intended that our
young ladies should bring their waists
to a circumference of twelve inches,
she would have dispensed with a
double set of vital organs.
—The large and extensive rolling
and nail mill at Bellair, Ohio, was
burned on Sunday morningat-lo'clock—
supposed to be the work of incendiar
ism. Loss upwards of $50,000, par
tially covered by insurance.
—The Radical conspirators have al
ready made up Ben Wade's Cabinet,
in anticipation of the overthrow of
President Johnson for attempting to
get a legal decision upon the Tenure of
Qittce act.