TERMS OF PUBLICATION. THE BEDFORD GAZETTE is published every Fri day morning by MEYERS A MEKHEL, at $2 00 per annum, if paid strictly in advance , $2.50 if paid within six months; $3.00 if not paid within six months. All subscription accounts MUST be settled annually. No paper will be sent out of the State unless paid for is ADVANCE, and all such subscriptions will invariably be discontinued at the expiration of the time for which they are paid. All ADVERTISEMENTS for a less term than three months TEN CENTS per line for each ln ertion. Special notices one-half additional All ■esoluti-ns of Associations; communications of imited or individual interest, and notices of mur •iages and deaths exceeding five line:, ten cents er line. Editorial notices fifteen cents per line. AH legal Notices of every kind, and Orphans" Court and Judicial Sales, are required by law to be published in both papers published in this place. IjT All advertising due after first insertion. A liberal discount is made to persons advertising by the quarter, half jear, or year, as follows: 3 months. 6 months. 1 year. ♦One square - - - $4 50 $6 00 $lO 00 Two squares -- - 600 000 16 00 Three squares --- 800 12 00 20 00 Quarter column - - 14 00 20 00 35 00 Half column - - - 18 00 25 00 4o 00 One column - - - - 30 45 00 80 00 ♦One square to occupy one inch of space. JOB PRINTING, of every kind, done with neatness and dispatch. THE GAZETTE OFFICE has just been refitted with a Power Press and new type, and everything in the Printing line can be execu ted in the most artistic manner and at the lowest rates. — TERMS CASH. All letters should be addressd to MEYERS A MENGEL, Publishers. §rg-£t*4f, &c. O AVE YOUR GREENBACKS!! You can SAVE 25 per cent, by purchasing your GOODS at the CHEAP BARGAIN S TORE of G. R. & \V. OSTER, ' BEDFORD, PA. They are now opening a large and handsome as sortment of NEW and CHEAP DRY-GOODS, Ready-Made Clothing, Carpet, Cotton Yarns, Hats, Boots and Shoes, Sun-Umbrellas, Para sols, Groceries, Queensware, Tobaccos and Ci gars, Wall Papers, Wooden-ware, Brooms, \c. LOOK AT SOME OF THEIR PRICES: Best styles DELAiNES, 224 and 25 cts. CALICOES, 9, 10, 12, 14, 15, 16, 18, 20 cts. GINGIIA MS, 12, 15. 20 , 25 cts. MUSLINS, 9. 10, 12, 15, 18, 20, 22, 25 cts. CASSIMERES. 75, 85, 115, 125, 150, 165 cts. LADIES" 6-4 SACKING, $1.65, 1.75, 2.00, all wool. DRILLING and PANTALOON STUFFS, 20. 25, 30,35 cts GENTS" lIALF-HOSE, 10,12, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35 cts. LADIES" HOSE, 121, 18, 20, 25, 30, 35 cts. LADIES' SHOES as low ns 90 cts. Good Rio COFFEE, 25 cts.; better, 28 cts.; best, 30 cts. Extra fine OOLONG, JAPAN, IMPERIAL and YOUNG HYSON TEAS. SUGARS and SYRUPS, a choice assort ment. MACKEREL and HERRING, late caught, fat fish. EpWe invite all to call and see for themselves. A busy store and increasing trade, is a telling fact that their prices are popular. Terms CASH, unless otherwise specified. may24m3. GOODS!! NEW GOODS!! The undersigned has just received from the East a large and varied stock of New Goods, which are now open for examination, at MILL-TOWN, two miles West of Bedford, comprising everything usually found in a first-class country store, consisting, in part, of Dry-Goods, * Delaines, Calicoes, Muslins, Cassimers, Boots and Shoes, Groceries, Notions, &c., &c. All of which will be sold at the most reasonable prices. Thankful for past favors, we solicit a con tinuance ot the public patronage. Call and examine our goods. may24,'67. O- YEAGER ootls, &r. \TEW FANCY AND MILLINERY Xl STORE! UNPARALLELLED ATTRACTION! MRS. BORDER & CO., (at the store lately occupied by Mrs. Cam A Co.) have just received the best assortment of FANCY, DRY AND MILLINERY GOODS that has ever been brought to this place, which they will sell VERY LOW FOR CASH; consisting, in part, of Persian Twills, Wool de Laines, Pure Mohair Lustres, de Laines, Calicos, Muslins, White Colored Cambrics, Sacking Flannels, Cloth for Sacks, &c., Ladies' and Children's Shawls, NOTIONS, in great variety, Kid, Beaver, Buck, Silk, Lisle and Cotton Gloves; Lamb's Wool, Me rino and Cotton Hose, for Ladies and Gentlemen; Dress Buttons and Trimmings, in great variety. Paper and Linen Cuffs and Collars for ladies and gents; Worsted and Cotton Braiding. Braids, Vel vet Ribbons, black and bright colors, Crape Veils and Silk Tissue for Veils; Hopkins' "own make" of Hoop Skirts, all sizes; G W. Laird's Bloom of Youth, for the complexion, Ac. MILLINERY GOODS OF ALL KINDS, consisting of Bonnets, Huts. Ribbons, Laces, Flow ers, Ac. LgP Millinery work done on short no tice, in the neatest and latest styles. Call and see for yourselves before buying elsewhere. We will show our goods with pleasure, free of charge. | Bedford, may3in3. | ■\TEW ARRIVAL.—Just received XY at M. C. FETTERLY'S FANCY STOKE, Straw Hats and Bonnets, Straw Ornaments, Rib bons Flowers, Millinery Goods, Embroideries, Handkerchiefs, Bead-trimmings, Buttons. Ho-iery and Gloves, White Goods. Parasols and Sun-Um brellas, Balmorals and Hoop Skirts, Fancy Goods and Notious, Ladies' and Children's Shoes. Our assortment contains all that is new and desirable. Thankful for former liberal patronage we hope to be able to merit a continuance from all our cus tomers. Please call and see our new stock. may3l gaukfrss. JACOB REED, | J.J. SCHELL, REED AND SCHELL, Bankers and DEALERS IN EXCHANGE, BEDFORD. PA., DRAFTS bought and sold, collections made and money promptly remitted. Deposits solicited. RUPP & SHANNON, BANKERS, BF.DFORD, PA. BANK OF DISCOUNT AND DEPOSIT. COLLECTIONS made for the East, West, North and South, and the general business of Exchange transacted. Notes and Accounts Collected and Remittanees promptly made. REAL ESTATE bought and sold. febB "PRINTERS' INK has made many a I businessman rich We ask you to try it in the columns of THE GAZKTTI BY MEYERS & MENGEL. pnt-oo(ls, ctr. VTEW GOODS! NEW GOODS! FOR SPRING and SUMMER, 1807. _gg J. M. SHOEMAKER has just re turned from the East with a large stock of Spring and Summer Goods, which he has bought AT REDUCED PRICES and is now offering CHEAP, AT HIS OLD STAND. The following comprise a few articles, viz : Ladies' Dress Goods, Bleached and Unbleached Muslins, Ginghams, Calicos, Bed Ticking, Checks, Cloths, Cass i meres, Cottonade, Satinett, Cotton Chain, (single A double.) Hosiery, Gloves, &e. GROCERIES, SPICES, Ac.: Coffees, Sugars, Syrups. Molasses, Salt. Oils, Teas, Spices, of all kinds. CEDAR WARE: Buckets, Tubs, Brooms, Ac. HATS, for Men and Boys, all sizes and prices. A large and cheap stock of Men's and Boys. CLOTHING. i TOBACCO—Natural Leaf. Oronoco. Navy. Con gress, Black-Fat, Twist, Smoking-tcbacco and Se gars, Ac. QUEENSWARE, all kinds. A large assortment of BOOTS and SHOES, all sizes and prices, TRUNKS, Ac. FlSH—Mackerel. Nos 1, 2. and 3, in bbls, half | bbls.. quarter and eighth bbls. ' LEATHER—SoIe Leather. French and City Calf Skins, Kip and Upper Morocco, Ac. Be sure and call at J. M. SHOEMAKER S, apr26,'67. No. 1 Anderson's Row. QPLENDID OPENING of CHEAP SPRING and SUMMER GOODS, AT FARQUIIAR'S JVeiv Bargain Store, REED'S BI ILDING. CALICOES, (good) - 12ic. do (best) - - 18c. MUSLINS, brown, - - 10c. do (best) - - 20c. do bleached, - 10c. do (best) - - 25c. DELAINES, best styles, - 25c. DRESS GOODS of all kinds VERY CHEAP. MEN'S and BOY'S' COTTON A DES, GOOD and CHEAP. A large stock of FANCY ALL WOOL CASS I MERES ASTONISH INGLY CHEAP. BOOTS AND SHOES. MEN'S AND BOY'S' HATS. GROCERIES: Best COFFEE, - - 30c Brown SUGAR - from 10 to 15c FISH : Mackerel and Potomac Herring. QUEENSWARE and a general variety of NOTIONS. Buyers are invited to examine our stock as we are determined to to sell cheaper than the cheapest. J. B. FARQUHAR. mayl7 R~~ H. SI PES' MARBLE W( IRKS. , R. H. SIPES havtng established a manu faciory of Monuments. Tombstones. Table-Tops, Counter Slabs, Ac., at Bloody Run, Bedford coun ty. Pa., and having on hand a well selected stock of Foreign and Domestic Marble, is prepared to fill all orders promptly and do work neat and in a workmanlike style, and on the most r> tisonable terms. All work warranted. Jobs deli vered to all p rts of this and adjoining counties without ex tra charge. aprl9, 66yl T ETTER HEADS AND BILL I J HEADS, and ENVELOPES for business men printed in the best style of the art, JOB OFFICE. tl\u mmu.\ THE GIPSEY'S WARNING. . Do not trust him. gentle lady, Though his voice be low and sweet; Heed him not who kneels before you, Gently pleading atyourfeet; Now thy life is in its morning, Cloud not this thy happy lot. Listen to the Gipsey's warning. Gentle lady, trust him not. Do not turn so coldly from me, I would only shield thy youth From his stern and withering power— I would only tell thee truth ; I would shield thee from the danger, Save thee from the tempter's snare ; Lady shun the dark eyed stranger, I have warned you, now beware Lady, once there lived a maiden, Pure and bright, and like thee fair, But he wooed, he wooed and won her, Filled her gentle heart with care ; Then he heeded not her pleading, Nor oared he her life to save ; Soon she perished—now she's sleeping In the cold and silent grave. Keep tby gold, I do not wish it, Lady, I have prayed for this, For the hour when I might foil him— Rob him of expected bliss. I Gentle Lady, do not wonder At my words so cold and wild ; [ Lady, in the green grave yonder Lies the Gipsey's only child. = REPORT or IHE M floors or RF.D FUliO fOI'STY. FOR THE YEAR EMtlXti JUNE 4. 1567. During the year four new houses were 1 built; one in Napier, 22 by 24, 9 feet j from floor to ceiling, at a cost of $441); ' one in St. Clair, 24 by 28, 10 feet high, at a cost of 4GO; one in East Providence, 22 by 28, 9 feet from floor to ceiling, cost 380; one in Monroe, 22 by 24, 9 feet j high, cost $2BO. The house in St Clair | is provided with 72 square feet of black board surface; the one in East Provi j deuce with 73 square feet of black-board surface. Three of the houses were sup plied with good, substantial furniture, and sufficient means for ventilation, but they are poorly located with regard to play ground. The Monroe house is sup plied with miserable furniture, which in another year must be replaced. As these are all frame buildings, to make them attractive as well as durable, they should be painted. The want ofbetter houses is felt in many parts of the coun j ty, and we hope to report quite an im provement in school buildings during the coming year. Fifty-six are unfit; nine in Bedford township; four in Colerain; eight in Cumberland Valley; three in Harrison ; three in Hopewell; j four in Londonderry; two in Juniata; j four in Monroe; six in Southampton, and four in Union, are among the worst ill this t la**. Those marked "unfit," | are so in almost every respect; low, i gloomy and damp, with floors sunken I to the ground, lit only to breed pesti lence. Some of them are propped, both inside and outside,—outside, to keep them from falling to the ground; inside to keep the floor down and the ceiling up. The furniture is ancient , consist i ing, in many, of a few slab benches, so high that children must be lifted upon them, or so low as to make them equal !ly unfit. The writing desks, or boards, ' are worthless. In such houses, gener ally, no apparatus is found; directors and people all agree that it would spoil : in them, and yet, children are cooped j in such places six hours each day for four months. The wonder is not that I they do not make great progress in their i studies, but rather that they survive ! with a reasonable degree of health, for | bodily deformity, and not mental eul -1 ture si ould be expected. We want more comfortable houses, with improv ed furniture. When this demand is once fully met, we shall have a better condition of things. Make the school j house more attractive and you destroy, in a measure, the crying evil of irregu i lar attendance. Two years ago my predecessor report ed twenty-three houses with the neces sary out-buildings. JS T ow there are but seventeen, leaving one hundred and seventy-eight schools without these. This is a fact we are pained to note, as it shows great neglect on the part of di rectors. FURNITURE. —It will be seen in the statistical report, published by the de partment, for this county, that fifteen houses were supplied with unsuitable j furniture during the year. This was j done in houses, most of which are to i be replaced by new ones, as soon as the j respective means of the districts will f permit; hence it is to be hoped the evil here will be speedily removed. Three j houses, remodeled, were supplied with suitable furniture. Eighty housescon- j tain furniture, part of which, is injuri ous, and sixty-four have an insufficient j amount. That marked "injurious," j consists mostly of benches too high for the grade of pupils who occupy them, or ; of writing boards upon which no pupil , can learn to imitate the scrawl of many of our teachers, much less, learn to write a graceful hand. Much of this furniture could be made better, at a small expense. In many of the houses a j little sawing would remove the evil. We especially call the attention of teach ers and directors to this fact, and urge upon thein to unite in making seats more comfortable for pupils. APPARATUS.— During the year, each I school in East Providence, West Provi k dence and Union townships, was sup a plied with a set of Cornell's Outline e Maps; and the schools of Colerain and Cumberland Valley each with a set of Osgood's Primary Cards. There are J now one hundred and fitty schools in '• the county supplied with out-linemaps, B purchased during the last three years. BEDFORD, PA., FRIDAY MORNING, JUNE 28, 1867. In all the schools where these were skilfully used by the teacher, the pro gress made by pupils in Geography was very satisfactory. A few drones found their way into houses supplied with these maps, who either through ignor ance or laziness, allowed them to hang dust covered, on the walls, during the whole winter, as pictures more orna mental than useful. To these it is suffi eienttosay that they must prepare themselves to teach better, or quit the profession. Twenty-five schools are still wholly without apparatus, while thirty-nine are marked "well sup plied." SCHOOLS. —There are three graded schools in the county, employing ten teachers; the one at Bedford employs five; Bloody Run Borough three; and the village of Woodberry two. A num ber of other points in the county should have likesehools; at Centerville, Rains burg, Pleasantville, St.Clairsville, and Schellsburg, they are almost indispen sible. No teacher can do justice to six ty or seventy-five scholars in a mixed school; yet we see this number at many points in the county, in ungraded schools, and in buildings wholly unfit for their accommodation. The whole number of schools taught was one hundred and ninety-five, of which number one hundred and twen ty-five were marked "well classified," and one hundred and forty-eight in which the books were uniform. The Bible was read in one hundred and twenty-five, and a number were daily opened with prayer. In a lew, outside of thegraded schools, the higher branch es were taught, and in South Woodber ry sixty-two pupils studied German. Ex AMi xAT lON- . —Xi neteen public and seven private examinations were held. Sixty-eight directors were pres ent at the public examinations. At one examination alone a full board was present, and at fourteen a quorum. Two hundred and twenty-three pro visional certificates were issued at the public, and thirteen at the private xe aminations. Xo professional certifi cates were granted. Five certificates were renewed or endorsed from other counties; three certificates were annul led, and seventeen applicants were re jected. Average grade of certificates, 2.52. A number of certificates were issued of much lower grade; many with 4's and some with s's. TEACHERS. —To meet the demand for qualified teachers, a County Normal School was again opened, in August last, and continued eleven weeks. One hundred and thirty-one students were present, sixty-four of whom taught during the winter. A number of other schools In different parts of the county, under the charge of competent teachers, did good service in preparing young men and women to teach, so that in point of number, the supply was equal to the demand. In a few instances, local prejudice employed persons of a much lower grade of scholarship and inferior teachers, while others, more worthy, but from a neighboring town ship were rejected. Such short-sighted policy can only work injury to the schools. The best teacher should al ways be preferred, though he or she be from "across the mountain." Of the whole number employed, one hundred and twenty-six were males, and sixty nine females. Seven males and one female, proved total failures, and were dismissed. A few others managed to have things in working order when visited, but on the whole were incom petent, and had mistaken their calling. About one hundred and seventy gave good satisfaction, doing, all things considered, as well as could be expected. Fifty-nine had no experience, and sev enty had taught less than one year; one hundred and twenty-five had at tended the County Normal School one or more sessions, and one hundred and thirty-one claimed to have read works on teaching. The average age of the teachers employed was about twenty one years. VISITATIONS. —Whole number of visits made, 212; average timespent in each school 1.56 hours. All the schools except four in the county were visited, three of which were not open when I was in the district. A number were visited twice, and some three times. Twenty-eight visits were made with directors, and a few with patrons. Whole number of patrons or citizens found in the schools, 77. Most of the time spent in the school rooms was de voted to taking notes, observing the method of instruction, and giving such aid as was deemed necessary; the length of the visit always depending on the condition of the school. No County Institute was held during the year, and but one township, St. Clair, sustained a district institute. Twenty two private schools were o pened during the year, employing 29 teachers. 853 pupils attended these schools, at a cost of about $4700. While we did not make as great ad vancement in building, furnishing, and beautifying school grounds as we might have done, still we moved forward. A few boards and patrons made every effort to run the schools on the cheap est scale possible, yet the great majori ty gave all the means their districts would permit. Teachers holding cer tificates with 4's and s's on them are dear at any price. Many of the town ships in the county know this by experi ence, and directors will ere long retuse | all applicants who cannot show at least a "middling" certificate. Londonderry paid one year ago from $2O to $25 per month for teachers. This year her board of directors offered $4O for first class teachers, and secured a corps ex celled by none in the county. This case alone is sufficient to prove that good teachers can be had if people are only willing to pay for their services. We are proud to state too that every town ship in the county had its schools o pen during this year, a fact unknown in our school history for at least eight years. Southampton for a period of years had the doors of her school houses closed against public schools. The township is sparsely settled, irrigated by rapid mountain streams, and tra versed by a numberof mountain ranges, making it one of the most difficult school districts in the State. Still the people there were unwilling their chil dren should remain without the advan tages of an education, and the success with which they carried on their schools last winter, did great credit to all school men in the township. The great want here is suitable accom modation for the children. Scarcely a house used last winter is fit. Most of the houses, built years ago, were either burnt, or have rotted to the ground. Five houses were rented and six of the old log were used. Teachers were em ployed at salaries ranging from $22 to $3O per month. Many pupils walked from two and a-half to three miles, through the deep snows of last winter, to school, and the report hooks show as large an average of attendance as in any other part of the county. A few years of heavy taxation for building and the schoolsof Southampton willbe ina pros perous condition. The new school year has just opened. A supplement to the school law, passed last winter, makes a very material change in teacher's certificates. In ad dition to the branches named in the law prior to this year, we now have "Theo ry of Teaching"and "History of the U nited States." Xo applicant will be re cieved who is not prepared to stand an examination in these branches. We shall use Wickersham's Economy and Lossing's Common School History.— Teachers will be paid for their labor, if they only prepare themselves to do their work well. Encouraged by past success, we shall begin the work of the new year with bright hopes for the fu ture. 11. W. FISHER, Co. Supt. TEKIUBI.E CO.VItITIO.V OF AFFAIRS IN TENNESSEE. The New York Herald has received by telegraph the following account of the terrible outrages being committed by Brownlow and his armed outlaws in Tennessee: In the case of the outrages alleged to have been committed by the Tennessee State militia, instructions have been given to Gen. Thomas, commanding the Department of the Cumberland, to investigate the acts of violence said to have been perpetrated. On Thursday last General Whipple, of General Thomas'staff, was in Winchester coun ty, Tennessee, engaged in examining into the murder of James Brown, of Franklin county. After concluding his investigations, General Whipple will report the result to the Department com mander, when there can be no doubt whatever that in case the petition and affidavits are found to set forth the facts, summary measures will be taken to protect peaceable and law-abiding citizens from like persecution in the future, and that the work of official decapitation will go on briskly for a time in Tennessee. The petition of over eight hundred residents of Franklin county, accompa nied by numerous affidavits, presented to the President by Mr. Jesse Arlidge, a few nights ago, gives an alarming de scription of affairs in Tennessee, and information now in possession of the government proves beyond a doubt that Tennessee is to-day further behind in the work of reconstruction than any other of the Southern States. The pe tition of the Tennesseans concluded as follows: Y'our Excellency having been person- , ally acquainted with us as a people, and knowing how dearly we loved our rights, and how jealously we guarded them, can appreciate how exquisitely we felt their loss. But notwithstand ing all this, we were content to bear our wrongs in silence, and we would j not trouble your Excellency now with j our grievances, were it not that the iron heel of despotism upon our necks may no longer be borne. All that is left us is our lives and little property, and al though our history since the war is without reproach, as we have shown your Excellency, yet our rulers, affect ing to question our loyalty, have organ ized a band of reckless, dissolute and irresponsible men, and turned them loose to do their will upon us. We sub mitted to humiliating threatenings, be ing determined to do no act that would afford them a pretext to wreak their malice upon us. The officer in charge, in a public order addressed to our peo ple, announced in a most offensive man ner that he had come among us for the purpose of enforcing and bringing crim inals to justice, and at that time we had but one more at large under indictment for murder, and he had been abscond ing and concealing himself for two years to escape arrest, upon an indict ment for murder perpetrated in 1800, and also for a second murder perpetra ted in 1804, while he belonged to the rebel army. Notwithstanding these facts, and on the face of his published order the officer in charge received the murderer into his command, and he is now going publicly around to the ter ror of the people. We have been in- VOL. 61.—WHOLE No. 5,399. formed and believe that the party al luded to is one of the most respectable men in the command, and we refer to him for the reason that he is one of the few men of whose character we can speak with certainty, and not for the purpose of fixing him with an infamy that could distinguish him above his fellows.—This band of armed despera does, seething with hatred toward our people, and falsely pretending to be the guardians of the law, began their dep redations upon us by wanton searches of our homes and the seizure of our property, falsely pretending that they had authority to search our houses and seize our stock as the prop* rty of the United States government. In the ex ercise of this pretended authority they have robbed us, cursed and abused our wives and children, and denounced all who questioned their right. They have taken from our farms the means of making their crops in some instanc es, and appropriated the property so taken to their own use. They maintain their right to take the property of our citizens with impunity. They have kept our community in constant terror by threatening the 'ives of many of our citizens. They went to the house of one of our citizens in the night time, fired several shots at him, an 1 he saved his life only by flight. They took another quiet, law-abiding citizen from beside his hearthstone, and despite the tears and prayers of his wife and aged father, they took him to the woods and shot him down likea dog. These red-hand ed murderers are still at large, and are denouncing the most terrible vengeance against all who question their preroga tive to rob and slay us at their will. Impoverished as we are, many of our people in that portion of our country have been forced to abandon their hous es and their growing crops in order to save their lives, and in every part ol our country our people are filled with fear and apprehension ; and, indeed, so absolute and complete is the reign of terror they have inaugurated, that many of our people are afraid to meet with us to peaceably presentour wrongs to the consideration of your Excellency. This terrible state of affairs is beyond endurance, and inasmuch as this cruel, bloody, lawless band was organized, armed and set over us by our State au authorities—inasmuch asit isyourduty as Chief Magistrate to see that the laws are faithfully executed—inasmuch as we have the right to peaceably assemble ourselves together to petition for the redress of our grievances and inasmuch as we have an abiding confidence in your solicitude for the welfare and pro tection of all law-abiding citizens, with out reference to their antecedents or political sentiments, we, therefore, earnestly entreat your Excel'ency if you question either the propriety or ex pediency of removing the lawless band which is oppressing us, that you will send to our country a sufficient number of national troops to protect our per sons and property and bring to pun ishment the murderers of our people. A TRUE LADY.—I was once walking a short distance behind a very hand somely dressed young girl, and think ing, as I looked at her beautiful clothes, "I wonder if she takes half as much pains with her heart as she does with her body ?" A poor, old man was coming up the walk, and, just before he reached us, he made two attempts to go into the yard of a small house; but the gate was heavy, and would swing back before he could get through. "Wait," said that young girl spring ing lightly forward, "I'll hold the gate open." And she held the gate until he passed in, and received his thanks with a pleasant smile as she went on. "She deserved to have beautiful clothes!" I thought, "for a beautiful spirit dwells in her breast." VOLUNTEER DRILL FOR SINGLE MEN .—Fait in love with some good and industrious woman. Attention pay to her faithfully and respectfully.— Right face in popping the qnesiion, like a man. Quick march to htr par ents and ask ttieir consent. File right with her to church, and go through the service of matrimony. Halt and reflect seriously upon the new duties which you have assumed, and then perform them. Right about face from the haunts which you frequented when single, and prefer your own home.— Advance arms to vour young wife when out walking with her and never leave her trail behind. Break off staying out at nignt, and other bad habits, if you wish to have a happy home. AN INFEREXCE.-Aclerginan remark ed to a servant who had been a long time in his service, "John, you have been a long time in my service; I dare say you are able to preach a sermon as well as I." "Oh, no, sir," said John; "but many an inference have I drawn from yours." "Well," said the clergyman, "I will give you a text out of Job ; let me hear what you will make from it: 'And asses snuffed up the east wind."' "Well," replied John,"the on ly inference that I can draw is this, that it would be a long time before they would grow fat upon it." A TRAVELLER, who has just return ed from journeying through Africa, says: "A savage holds to his cows and to his women, but especially to his cows." He adds: "The price of a good looking,strong young wife,who can car ry a heavy jar of water, is ten cows. Throughout savage lands, a family of daughters is exceedingly profitable." A few days since a gentleman from a j distance visited Colunbus, Ohio, on ; business, and having a leisure hour, concluded to call on Miss , with | whom he had some acquaintance. He J went, rang the bell, and when she | made her appearance at the door he /lid not recognize her in her kitchen at'ire. He asked if Miss was at home.- She very prudently accepted the situation, and informed him that she was J n, and after seating him in the parlor retired, as she observed, to inform her of his presence. She went to her dressing room, and after a thor ough re-rigging, application of paints, powders, false curls, tilters, etc., she presented herself a second time, when she was at once recognized by the gent. Of course a pleasant hour was whiled away, during which she found occasion to apologize for not making her ap pearance sooner than she did. THE FIRST TWENTY YEARS.— Live long as you may, the first twenty years form the greater part of your life. They appear so when we look back to them, and they take up more room in our memory than all the years that suc ceed them. If this be so how impor that they should be passed in planting good principles, cultivating good tastes, strengthening good habits, fleeing all those pleasures which lay up bitter ness and sorrow for time to come.— Take good care of the first twenty years of your life, and you may hope that the last twenty years will takegoodcare of you. AX old lady down East, after having kepta hired man on liver near a month, one day said to him, "Mr. Smith' I don't know as you like liver." "Oh, yes," said he, "I like it for fifty or six ty meals, but I don't think I should like it for a steady diet." The parsimo nious old lady served up something else for the next collation. IN a railroad station is a placard an nouncing "No smoking," posted over an oil lamp. Two Irishmen appear one smoking. "Mike," says the other, Ye'retransgressin' the rhules of the es tablishment." "How's that?" says the smoker. "Don't you see there—no smoking?" "Yis; but can't ye see, ye spalpeen, the remark is addressed to the lamp?" HAI.AB the Arabian, being asked what was the most excellent thing in man, replied, "Sense." But if he have none, what is the best then? 'Honesty.' But if he has not that? "The counsel of his friend," replied the doctor. And in want of that? "Taciturnity." And if he cannot have any of these things? "A sudden death as soon as possible." ONE of our ex-Mayors, the other day, observing a large stone lying near his gate, ordered his servant, with an oath, to send it to Purgatory. "If," said the servant, "I were to throw it to Heaven, it would be more out of your honor's way!" IN a small party the subject turning on matrimony, a lady said to her.sister, I wonder, my dear, you have never made a match, I think you want the brimstone. To whichsherepiied, "No, not the brimstone, only the spark." A TENANT iu the neighborhood of the Astor House, was thus accosted by his landlord: "Brown, I am going to raise your rent." Brown replied, "Sir, lam very much obliged to you, for I cannot raise it myself." SCENES of a new domestic drama: Scene I—Mother in the cellar splitting wood. Scene2—Daughter in the parlor singing to a well-dressed simpleton the pathetic ballad, "Who shall care for mother now?" A MAN who was imprisoned for mar rying two wives, complained that he had been severely dealt with for an of fence which carries its own punishment along with it ! A MORMON female seminary was re cently started in Salt Lake City, which succeeded very well, until the princi pal eloped with and married the whole school. SMITHS, of all the handicraft men, are the most irregular; for they never think themselves better employed than when thev are at their vices. SOME say that the quickest way of de stroying " weeds " is to marry a widow. It is, no doubt, a most agreeable species of husbandry. IT was said of a great calumniator, and a frequenter of other persons' ta bles, that he never opened his mouth but at somebody's expense. ONE asked why B stood before C? Because, said another, a man must B before he can C. Do well, but do not boast of it, for that will lesson the commendation you might otherwise have deserved. TIIE most reluctant slave to vice that we ever saw, was a poor fellow who had his fingers in one. A recent conundrum runs in this way: "Why is kissing like victory? Because it is easy to Grant?" NEVER purchase love or friendship by gifts, for when thus obtained they are lost as soon as you stop payment. -In view of the crimes in Massachu setts, floggings in school, Ac., the Chi cago Times says martial law should be declared there at once. Ex-President Buchanan contributed $2OO to the Southern relief fund recent ly raised in Philadelphia. The money was sent to the Rev. Dr. Boardman. —Old Thad. Stevens goes for giving homesteads to the Negroes, because they, the Negroes , conquered their mas ters. This is the way the services of the white soldiers are valued by the Radicals.