TERMS OF PUBLICATION. Tnii IKDFO*d GAZETTE is published every Fri day morning by METERS A MINGEL, at $2.00 per annum, if paid strictly tn advance ; $2.50 if paid within sis months; $3.00 if not paid within six • months. All subscription accounts MUST be settled ottnuallg. No paper will be gentout of the State unless paid for is ADVANCE, and all such iubacriptions will invariably be discontinued at the expiration wf the time for which they are paid. All ADVERTISEMENTS for a hss term than three months TEN CENTS per line for each ln •ertion. Special notices one-half additional All "esolutic ns of Associations; Minmunici-tions of irnitcd or individual interest, and uotices of mar riages and deaths exceeding five lines, ten cents per line. Editorial notioes oo acres to suit pur chasers. Office nearly opposite the "Mengel Hotel' and Bank of Reed A Schell. April 6,1806—1y J. MCD. SHAKrS. E. F. KERR. SHARPE A KERR, ATTORNEY S AT LAW BEDFORD, PA., will practice in the courts of Bedford and adioiningcounties Of fice on Juliana St., opposite the Banking House ol Reed A Schell. [March 2, '66. R. BCRBORROW. | JOHN LtJTI. DIJ R HOUR O\V A LUT Z , ATTORNEYS AT LAW, BEDFORD. PA., Will attend promptly to all business intrusted to their care. Collections made on the shortest no "xhey are. also, regularly licensed Claim Agents snd will give special attention to the prosecution of claims against the Government for Pensions, Back Pay, Bounty, Bounty Lands, Ac. Office on Juliana street, one door South of the "Mengel House," and nearly opposite the Inquirer office. TOliN P. REHi>. ATTORNEY AT #J LAW, BEDFORD, PA Respectfully tenders Sis services to the public. Office second door North of the Mengel House. Bedford, Aug, 1, 1861. OHN PALM ER, ATTORNEY AT LAW, BEDFORD, PA. Will promptly attend to all business entrusted to his care. Particular attention paid to the collection of Military claims. Officeon Juliana Street, nearly apposite the Mengel ll> use. Bedford, Aug. 1. IWll. TASPY M. A LSI P. ATT< )RXEY AT rj LAW, BEDFORD, PA. Will faithfully and promptly attend to all business entrusted to his jare in Bedford and adjoining counties. Military afciims, bask pay, bounty, Ac., speedily collected. Office with Mann A Spang, <>n Juliana street, to doorsSoutb of the Mengel House. Jan. 2$ 1864, . IT KlteiSLL I J. W. LINGENFELTER. f/TMMELL & LINGENFELTER, l\ ATTORNEYS AT LAW, BEDFORD, PA., thxmml a partnership iu the practice of he Law. Office an Juliana street, two doors South afthe ''Mengel House," SPANG, ATTORNEY AT \T, LAW BEDFORD. PA. Will promptly at tend to collections Hnd all business entrusted to his nara in Bedford and adjoining counties. Office on Juliana Street, three doers south of the "Mengel House," opposite the residence ot Mrs. Tate." _ May 18. i* 6 *- B. f. IIRTERI I J• W. DICKRItSON. MEYERS & DICKERSON, AT TORNEYS AT LAW, Bedford, Pa. % office S'iDie as formerly occupied by Hon. W- P- Schell, two Joars east of the GAZETTE office, will practice in the several courts of Bedford county. Pensions, bounty and back pay obtained and the purchase and sale of real estate attended to. [mayll, 66. JOIIN 11. FILLER, Attorney at Law, Bedford, Pa. Office nearly opposite the Post Offica. [apr.2o,'66. —ly. gfcpiriXß* and *> H. PENNSYL, M. D M BLOODY a Rpn, P a -> ',late surgeon 56th P. V. V.,) ten ders his professional services to the people of that place and vicinity. _ Dee. 22. 65-1 y* TIT W.JAMISON, M. D., BLOODY v r V RUN, Pa,, tenders his professional send ees to the people of that place and vicinity. Office une door west of Ridhard Langdon's store. Nov. 24, '6s—ly TAIL J. L. MARBOTIIG, I i / permanently located, respectfully tenders services to the citizens of Bedford and vicinity. Office on Juliana street, east side, nearly opposite the Banking House of Reed A Schell. Bedford, February 12, 1864. * C. N. HICKOE, i J. G. MIXNICH. JR., De N T ISTS, BEDFORD, PA. Office in the Bank Building, Juliana St. All operations pertaining to Surgical or Me chanical Dentistry carefully performed, and war ranted. Tooth Powders and mouth Washes, ex cellent articles, always on hand. TFUMS— CASH. Bedford, January 6,1865. _ _ _ DR. GEO. C. DOUGLAS, Respect fully tenders his professional services to the people of Bedford and vicinity. OFFICE—2 doors West of the Bedford Uotel, above Border's Silver Smith Store. Residence ait Maj. Washabaugh's. aug.21,'66. rpR I uA[ PII IN DENTISTRY! TRETH EXTRACTED WITHOUT PAIN, hw'the use of Nitrous Oxide, and is attended with JBo danger whatever. / TEETH INSERTED uoon a new style of base, which is a combination of Gold and Vulcanite; also, upon Vulcanite, Gold, Platina and Silver. TEMMOKAKY SETS inserted if called for. Soocial attention will bo made to diseased gums and a cure warranted or no charge made. TEETH FILLED to last for life, and all work in the dental line done to the entire satisfaction of all or the money refunded. Prices to correspond with the times., . ■ a- I have located permanently in Bedford, ami shall visit Schellsburg the Ist Monday of each month, remaining one week ; Bloody Run the 3rd Monday, remaining one week ; the balance of my tinje I can be found at my office, 3 doors South of the Court House. Bedford, Pa. n0v.16,'66. WM. W. VAN ORMER, Dentist. ganliev.L REED, I J - J - SCHELL, V) EED AND SCHELL, Bankers and ■AEALERS IN EXCHANGE, ■ BEDFORD. PA., ■ DRAFTS bought and sold, collections made and promptly remitted. i c Bed. jH w PCJEJP o. E. SHANNON r. BENEDICT H I L P ', SHANNON A CO., BANK- PA. UANI^^^HBM^AND East, REAL 1A a * c BY MEYERS & MENGEL, tftanlwratt, GEO. BLYMYER. | JOHN V. BLTI4YER. fi FORGE BLYMYER & SON 3 T having formed a partnership, on the 6th of March. 1866* in the IIA li D WAR ESr 110 US E FUR NISHINC BUSINESS, respectfully invite the public to their new rooms, three doors west of the old stand, where they will find an immense stock of the most splendid goods ever brought to Bedford county. These goods will be sold at the lowest possible prices. Persons desirous of purchasing HARDWARE will find it to their advantage to give us acall. WHITE LEAD.—We have oa hand a large quantity of White Lead, which we have been for tunate to buy a little lower than the market rates. The particular brands to which wo would invite attention, are the Pure Buck Lead, Liberty White Lear/. Sww Franklin White head, Washington White Lead, Washington Zinc White Lead, New York White Ijeurl. ALSO: — French Porcelain Finish; Demar Varnish; Varnishes of all kinds. Flaxseed Oil, {pure.) Turpentine and Alcohol. All kinds of IRON and NAILS. No. 1 CIIRYSTAL ILLUMINATING COAL OIL. LAMPS in profusion. We would invite persons wanting Saddlery Hardware, to give us a call, as we have every thing in the Saddlery line, such as Buckles, Rings, Hanies and Webbing Leather of all kinds; also a variety of Shoe Findings, consisting of French Calf Skins, Morocco Linings, Bindings, Pegs, etc. Housekeepers will find at Blymyer A Son's store a great variety of household goods. Knives and Fork of the very best quality; Plated Table and Tea Spoons at all prices. Give us a call and we can supply you with Barn Door Rollers, the latest improvements; Nova Scotia Grindstones, better than any in use; Shovels, Forks and Spades. Grain and Grass Scythes and Snathes; Fishing Tackle; Brushes of all kinds; Demi-Johns; Patent Wheel Grease, Tar and Whale Oil, and an infinite variety of articles. $20,000 WANTED—WouId like to get it if our friends wuld let us have it. Less will do ; but persons having unsettled accounts will close them up to the first of March, to enable us to close our old books. This should be done. may4,'66. GEO. BLYMYER A SON. ilntfl.s, #Utluincs, kc. TL. LEWIS having purchased the 0 Drug Store, lately owned by Mr. H. C. Rea mer takes.pleasure in announcing to the citizens ot Beiford and vicinity, that he has just returned from the cities with a well selected stock ot DRUGS. MEDICINES, DYE-STUFFS, PERFUMERY, TOILE T A R TIC L ES, STATIONERY, COAL OIL, LAMPS AND CHrMNEYS, BEST BRANDS 017 CIGARS SMOKING AND CHEWING TOBACCO, FRENCH CONFECTIONS, 4-c.. SEALING 'F WAX at B Mo. BLYMYER A GO'S CARRIER'S ADDRESS TO THE PATRONS OF THE BEDFORD GAZETTE. JANUARY 1, 18G7. Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is'going, let him go, Ring out the false, ring in the true. Ring out old shapes of foul disease, % Ring out the narrowing lust of gold ; Ring out the thousand wars of old, Ring in the thousand years of peace. —Tennyson. 'Twas back in the past some four hundred years, When all the wide world was full of commotion, That first dawned the art that each sage stiil reveres, For Science, had then, just conquered the ocean, And spreading her wings, like an angel of light, f From kingdom to kingdom, abroad in the world, Led forward the armies of Freedom and Right, Till the minions of Darkness backward were hurled: And her temples, like beacons to mariners lone, Shone out o'er the ocean, where Ignorance reigned; And deep in the forests, the homes of her own, Stand peacefully now, where her battles were gained. Yes, this was the age, when my craft was first known; When the Bible came forth from Guttenberg's hand, And religion's true light, throughout every zone, Brought blessings to man, over ocean and land. The ignorant then called the blessing an evil— And blinded by sin, and by nature perverse, Named the printer, at once, the son of the Devil — Though all he e'er did, showed him just the reverse.— Hence, the name which they first to the master applied, Descends to the follower, latest enrolled— And the printer's apprentice, it can't be denied, By training's well fitted the name to uphold. But wickeder devhs than printers, I ween, Still roam through the world from the east to the west; And, though, by our eyes, they seldom are seen— There scarce is a man, but has one in his breast* And, one monsieur LeSage, a story has told, Of a spirit released by a student iu^Spain. Who long had been chained in a conjuror's hold ; And, who, when restored to his freedom again, Gave a hist'ry of all the imps of the race, From Lucifer down to Asmodeus himself- From those, who in Hades hold " power and.place," In order, clean down to the puniest eli The fact is, the number he tells is so great, 'Twould be useless for me to write them all here— Beside these, the roll has been swelled so ot late, That their legion of names would sound rather queer. Then, Milton has sung of the*>rince of them all, In such high-sounding verse twould shame my poor rhyme; And Burns a few words in his praise has let fall, While Byron describes him in language sublime. And Goethe, the poet the Germans ail love, Tells a tale of one Faust—a wondrous magician— Who bartered his soul to the Devil to prove His power over men, for wealth and position. And some say this Faust was a printer by trade, (Daily working with type in secret, alone,) Assisted by Satan, who thus bis plans laid To puzzle mankind, and so make them his own. But it's all a mistake, whate'er they may think ; For, since Luther at one dashed iiis inkstand in splinters, The Devil has his fears of all kinds of ink— And he's not the less shy, though the ink be a printer s. And some other poet, (whose name I don't prize,) Sings a song, which, 1 think, out-devils them all; For he says that, "A woman with two bright eyes, Decidedly is the worst devil of all." Then, Bunvan has placed him high up on a tower, Hurlinsr darts at one Christian, who close by it passed ; And, Saint Dunstan lias shown how great's human power, For with his hot tongs ho the Devil held fast. And read o'er the hist'ry of man since his fall— Since Eve, in the garden, the serpent beguiled— The Bejil seen in each page of it all, * And still, by his footsteps, our Eden's defiled. And, of his wild pranks in our own blessed land, When witches for sins up at Salem wei burned, The New England poets might make SOUK thing grand, If only their optics that way could be turned. And Satan with bis imps high carnival held, Through our last gloomy years of bloodshed and strife; Nor did he e'er see, when his legions rebelled, More slaughter and rapine, or plunder more rife." But enough of " Old Nick," and ali his vile class!— Let me sing of myself, and those of my clan — Our weapons will drive his whole army en masse, Down to darkness again, away from weak man. Doing this, we're at work, like bees in their hive, Setting type, like they for their honey, build cells; And down in the cups of the heart, deep we dive, To gather the nectar of thought, where it wells. Having tasted its sweets, our fancy takes wing— We roam among flowers, that poets have reared! — Hear the church bells of hope in heathen lands ring, And the songs of the Christians their music lias cheered. * * * * * * * I've brought my collection each week to your door, My friends and my patrons who read the "GAZETTE Throughout the past year, you have tasted my store. And I've many good things to bring to you yet. The doings oY Congress, each week you have read, Through the seven long-months of heated debate — The curses that fell on the President's head, , And slanders spread over the land by their hate. But firm as the rocks on the sea coast he stands, Looking out on the waves of the wide troubled main; And the tempest may lash out its strength on the sands, But fanatical storms will sweep o'er him in vain. And fierce was the contest we waged for the right, Against foemen who fought for powe, and place; Though Truth for a time has gone down in the night, She soon will shine forth as the moon shows her taoe.— And, once more, through the realms, our eagle has soared, Our banner, over mountain and crag shall yet stream ; And the nation rejoice for her charter restored, As the world, back in chaos, hailed morning's firit beam. You have read, too, of wars in for distant lands, And the news of their slaughter came over the sea — Of th 6 hopeless attack of the Fenian bands, Who vainly attempted thyir country to free. And the poets will sing, in ages untold, The conquest of science the past year hm shown ; And the future inscribe, in letters of gold, The names of her craftsmen, on temples of stone. The cable is laid! and swift o'er the wires, Through thedepthsof the ocean, man's thoughts fush along, To kindle abroad the new hopes and desires, That live in the hearts of the great and the strong! You have read of the meteors we were to have seen— We watched for them here—rang the gong and the bell- But scarcely a star, in the heavens serene, Fell an inch from its place—the thing was a " sell! Now my budget's unpacked, my wares are displayed, 'Tis scarcely required I should hint my desire; And as I approach you, please don't be dismayed, For the laborer, 'tis said, is worthy his hire. And should you refuse me, because a light purse Compels you to pass me, or tret me uncivil, My prayer shall e'er be, that you'll never do worse, Than to keep the small dues of—yours truly, THE DEVIL. GOOD LOGIC FOR A LITTLEO^E. —A lady has a bright-eyed four-year old boy, who stood looking out of the win dow at the richly tinted sunset clouds in the West the other evening. His mother sat in the room busy writing, when he asked: "Mamma, who made the pretty clouds?" "God made them." 'Who made the light, mamma?" "God made it." "How did he make it?" "God put the sun up in the heav ens, Ad so made the light." After a pause* 1 -"Mamma, whomakes it dark?" "Oh, I don't know—don't bother me." "Well—l know—l know how He makes it dark. He blows the sun out."' A TENNESSEE Radical killed his dog for barking at old Brown low. The dog. would have died anyhow. BEDFORD, PA., FRIDAY MORNING!, JANUARY 4, 1867 A CHINESE widow, finning the tomb of her husband, and Leing asked the cause of so singular a lhodeof showing her grief, accounted for it by saying that he had made her promise not to marry again while tie mortar of his tomb remained damp; and as it dried but slowly she saw no harm in aiding the operation. "BOHIIYT^why dont you go home and have your mother sew up that hole in yourtrowsers?" "Oh, go along, old woman; our folks are at the sewing circle, working for tht heathen." IT is proposed to hfhi the streets of a certain village with red-headed girls. Quadrat, of the Lexington Gazette, says if he lived there he'd play tipsey 'every night and hug the lamp-posts. TAKING A WHALE. BY ROGER STARBUCK. Early one morning while we were cruising off thecoastof Peru for sperm whales I was dozing on the maintop gallant cross-trees. Suddenly some thing seemed to go right through my brain. I woke to discover that it was the voice of Zadik. the Captain's har pooner, a tall, swarthy, straight-haired youth, half Kanaka, half English. He was very tender-hearted, but an excel lent whaleman, whose power of vision was truly remarkable. He stood on the other side of me, shrieking with all the force of his lungs: "There blows!—there blow-ow-s! - there—there—blows!" "Whereaway!" thundered old Capt. Boom, glancing aloft. "On the weather-bow, four miles'off, heading to leeward!" This answer sent an electric thrill through every vein : theoldship lurch ed as if she felt it too. Up came old Boom, with spy-glass slung over his shoulder, mounting two ratlines at a time. When on the cross trees he just gave one squint with his telescope; then his voice rung through the ship like a great saw going through a board. "Back the main-yard—clear away the boats!" It would have done you good to see the men jump to falls anfl braces. The ship came up slowly, and Boom went down like lightning by means of a back-stay. Zadik, following hint, sprung like a deer into the star-board boat. "Lower away!" growled the Cap tain. Buz-z-z! buz! buz-z-z! sounded the falls, and swash! went the four boats, almost simultaneously, into the water. The merry dogs bundled into them, and away they flew, the Captain's ta king the lead. "Snap your oars, ye grifflns! Make the fire fly, my bull-dogs! Long and strong's the word! Break your backs every mother's son of ye !" gritted the old fellow through his teeth. In a similar mannerthe other officers encouraged their crews, until they had proceeded about four miles, when or ders were given to stop pulling. "None of your dare-devil pranks, Tom, if you get alongside a whale!" said the skipper to his son—a lad of fifteen, who belonged to theafter-th wart in the first mate's boat. Tom—theship's favorite—smiled and shook his curly head. At the same moment the water broke into a whirl pool a few fathoms astern. There was a hurried whispering; then the boats were forced round as a very small Whale—a calf—rose to the surface. We perceived at once that the creature had been struck by some other crew, for the shank of an iron protru ded from its body. It seemed very weak and in much pain, moving slow ly and now and then reeling sideways: with a sudden plunge. It swam in a circle as if bewildered, and the noise of its spouting somehow reminded me of the wailing of a child. "Paddle ahead!" was the order, for every man believed that the mother of the calf—the cow whale—was not for off. The first mate was soon within dart ing distai#e. "Give it to him !" he shrieked, and whiz! whiz! went the harpooner's irons, one after the other, into tfie an mal's body. For a few moments the little whale, as if half stupefied, re mained nearly motionless; then, breach ing, it came down, writhing and whirl ing its flukes in great agony, after which it sounded, it was too weak to drag the boat very fast or very for ; it soon rose about fifty yards ahead. "Haul line'" ordered the mate, now in the boat's bow, lance in hand. A8 he spoke the water on one side of the calf suddenly parted with a roar like a cataract, and an enormous levi athan—the cow whale—boomed up from the surface, beating the sea with her flukes and spouting thunder. Round and round her offspring she swam, but soon paused, as if half par alyzed with astonishment and grief at the situation of the sufferer. A mo ment she remained thus, then moved ahead slowly and gently, occasionally turning, as if to entice the little crea ture to follow. In fact the calf eneav ored to do so, but was too badly crip pled to swim; it made a few feeble plunges toward its parent, and then be gan to writhe and wheel in great ago ny. Perceiving that it was now in its flurry, the mate stopped hauling line, and remained watching the ani mal until its blood-red spout no longer rose, and it rolled over quite dead. Now the behavior of its mother was pitiful to witness. She seemed unwil ling to believe that her young one was really dead. Round it, she slowly swam, spouting with a noise something between a shriek and a gasp. Then she moved ahead as before, and like one half crazy, seemed not yet to have abandoned the hope of being followed by her offspring. Meanwhile her enemies were rapid ly but stealthily advancing. Soon the Captain, who was foremost, was near enough to dart. "Let her have it!" he growled. Za dik raised his harpoon; at the same moment the cow gently rubbed its great head against the little whale, as if to ascertain the reason why it would not follow her. Zadik lowered the point of his weap on ; his wild eyes softened. "That whale's just like a human VOL. 61.—WHOLE No. 5.374. mother, Captain," said he, "and I haven't the heart to strike it!" "Dog!" hissed Boom, "what ails ye? Dart! dart! I tell ye!" As he spoke a sudden change came over the whale, which now, half turn ing, saw the boat. Wrathful and wild for revenge, she breached, the whole length of her enor mous body, out of water ; then falling back with the din of a huudred thun der-bolts, she"made straight for the boat, her bristling jaw wide open, her broad flukes beating the sea ! "Starn! starn ! gritted old Boom, and every man of his crew except Zadik turned pale. The harpoonor had changed with the leviathan. The flush of fight was now ! on his cheek, and there was fire in his eye. His dark brow was wrinkled; the ends of his straight black hair bristled like spear points. He motioned to the Captain to keep off a little, and, being obeyed, sent both irons whizzing into the side of the monster's hump! Maddened with pain, fiercer than ever, the whale made a swift dash to ward the boat, which she must have grappled had not the Captain, byadex trous movement, whirled the light ves sel to one side. Thus baffled, the mons ter dive,shakinga savage warning with her flukes as she disappeared. Away went the boat, swift as a whirlwind, the line humming around the logger head, and the crew cheering like wild demons in answer to the cheers of those who were pulling after them. Zadik and the Captain changed places, and the "old lion," as we called Boom, soon had his lance ready. The whale came up a quarter of an hour later, and "iiaulline!" was the order. When within darting distance the skippersent his long weapon quivering into the monster's body. Enraged beyond ali bounds, she came booming towards us in a cloud of whirling spray tossed by her busy flukes. "Starn ! starn !" from the "old lion," and every time he spoke he was either darting his lance into the whale or pull ing it back. Thicker and faster flew the spray, almost hiding the animal from us, until suddenly its great head, bursting from the white foam cloud, we saw the bristling jaw within six inches of the skipper. Ilad the nerves of Zadik failed him, the old man must have perished the next minute. But the voice of the half breed rang iike the clang of a hammer, as with ready steering-oar he whirled the boat's broadside toward the mon ster, and tin n gave the order to "stern!" Snap! went the monster's closing |tiw, just iuisoiii the boat's' bow; and whiz-z-z-! wenttheold lion'slanee again into her body a'ongside the hump! Now as she dashed furiously toward us, our shipmates arrived to take part in the combat. The long-limbed first mate, who had left the calf to be towed by an extra boat's crew from the ship, attacked the monster on one flank, while the Cap tain and his second and third mates battled desperately upon tlieother. The cheers of the men, the crashing of the whale's fluke's minglingwith such wild cries as "Lay me on !" "Keep off a lit tle !" "Now then—steady as you are!" "Starn! starn! starn!" "Pull ahead!" "Hoo, hoo! take that, old queen P' "Mind yourself at that oar!" "Now then, Mr. Spooner—there's a 'good sight!'" "Whang! whang! whang! three lances into her that time!' ; "Hoo ray! hooray!" etc., etc., were heard on all sides, while so thick was the spray that no man could see his neigh bor distinctly. Vigorously pressed—with lance after lance piercing her body— her jaws and flukes avoided by the vigilant harpoon ers—the whale soon acknowledged the power of her assailants by sending up into the spray-cloud a light red foun tain of blood! With exultant screams the lancers, still attacking, buried their weapons in her writhing body, from which the spout rose darker and lower every moment. Suddenly, with one tremendous whirl of her flukes, she struck the first mate's boat, shivering it to atoms! Then slow ly round and round she swam, the dark blood-spout now ascending scarcely six inches. The .Captain and his third and second, officers churned her with their lances, when, turning over, fin out, and half lifting her flukes and head in one last spasm of agony, she expired ! The first mate's crew, being good swimmers, had not yet been picked up; in fact the Captain had been too busy to notice which vessel was stove. Now, as the poor fellows were helped into his boat, he looked in vain for his son! The sad story was soon told: poor little Tom was far down under the sea, whither his frame, crushed by the whale's flukes, had been dragged by sharks. The Captain groaned and bowed his head. He did not lift it until we were alongside the ship. While we were cut ting in the whale we looked in vain for him. "He is down in the cabin," said the mate, "weeping and sobbing like a child. He will never be a happy man again!" "Ay, ay," said Zadik, gloomily. "I felt as if no good would come of our striking that whale! We killed her off spring, and she killed the Captain's i son!" —= WESTER* SIMPLICITY. Western simplicity—not greenness, || but genuine candor and character—are to be .-sen in the following incident, • furnished some time since by a West ern correspondent: In a wild Western neighborhood the sound of a church-going bell had never been heard ; notice was given that the Rev. Mr., A , a distinguished Pres byterian divine, would preach on a certain day. The natives, who consisted mainly , 1 of those hardy pioneers who have pre ceded civilization, came to hear him. They had an indistinct idea that / "preachin" was something to be heard, and all attended to hear it. After the service had begun a raw boned hunter, with rifle in hand, and all the accoutrements of the chase about him, entered and took the only seat — a nail keg without either hCad. The current of the preacher's thought led him into a description of heaven and its inhabitants. With great power he had drawn a picture of the habitation of the blessed, and was assigning each of the patriarchs, apostles and prophets his place. His Calvinistic tendencies 4ed him to reserve the Apostle Paul for his climacteric. With his eye fixed upon the highest point, and with an upward gesture that seemed to be di rected to the loftiest attitude of the heavenly places, he said— "And where, my brethren, shall we seat the great Apostle of the Gentiles ? —where, I say, shall we place the Apos tle Paul?" Then pausing to give the imagina tion time to reach the elevation de signed for the Apostle, he fixed his eyes upon our hero of the rifle. He, therefore, thinking the address per sonal, rose instantly, and then replied— "lf he can't do no better he can take my seat." It is needless to say that the climax wa snever reached. A GOOD WOMAN.— Years may pass over her head, but if benevolence aud virtue dwell in her heart, she is as cheerful as when the spring of life opened to her view. When we look at a good Woman we never think of her age; she looks as charming as when the rose of youth first bloomed upon her cheek. That rose has not faded yet; it wili never fade. In her neigh borhood she is the friend and benefac tress. Who does not love and respect the woman who has passed her days in acts of kindness and mercy? We re peat, such a woman never can grow old. She will always be fresh and buoyant in spirits, and active in hum ble deeds of mercy and benevolence. SEEING a wretched looking lad on the plains near the Humboidt Desert, nursing a starving baby, a traveler passing asked him what the matter was. "Wall, now," responded "I guess I'm kinder streakt. Ole dad's drunk, ole woman's got the hy sterics, brother Jim be play in poker with two gamblers, sister Sal's down thar a courtin of an entire strauger, tiiis yero baby's got the diaree the wust sort, the team's clean guv out, the wagon's broke down, it's twenty miles to the next water, and I don't care a darn if I never see Californey. REWARDS OFFERED FOR STEPHENS, DEAD OR ALIVE.— The Fenian chief is evidently held in great dread by the British Government, for besides the re ward of five thousand dollars in gold offered for his apprehension by the Lord Lieutenant of Ireland, the Brit ish Government itself has now offered a reward of 25,000 in gold to any per son, "man or woman, young or old," who will deliver up the body of Ste phens, "dead or alive." If the Irish cannot gain their independence, they can at least frighten their oppressors. DRUNKARD'S TESTIMONY. —" Tell me," said a benevolent visitor to a poor drunkard when urging him to aban don the intoxicating cup, " where was it that you took your first steps in this intemperate course?" "At my father's table ," replied the unhappy man. "Before I left home to become an apprentice I had acquired a love for the drink that has ruined me. The first drop I ever tasted was handed me by my now poor heart-broken mo ther." A CONSTABLE was stationed at the door of the hustings to prevent the crowd from forcing their way among the candidates. A gentleman came up to him, and putting a shilling into his hand, said, with an attempt to put off the smallness of the donation, "I take it for granted there is a little corrup tion here." "Yes, sir," said the con stable, looking at the shilling, "but this is too little /" "Do you propose to put Ike iuto a store, Mrs. Partington ?" "Yes," said the old lady, "but I am pestiferous to know which. Some tell me the whole some trade is the best, but I believe the ringtail will be the most benefi cious in his present abdominal condi tion." "Six feet in his boots!" exclaimed Mrs. Partington. "What will the im portance of this world come to, I won- der. Why, they might as well tell m 6 that he had six heads in his hat." A WEDDING was to have taken place last week at Chicago. The bride and guests were present —the groom mis sing. A mortgage of the bride's prop erty just discovered —the cause. mmmmmmrnMrnrnacmmmmmrmmmmmm A CAPTAIN who had a sound sleep ing mate, caught an Irish boy in middle watch frying some pork and Qjk ■eggs he had stolen from the ship'ayy stores, to whom the captain called orttdfjl "You lubber, you, I'll have I that." "Faith, captain, I've none I ye," replied the lad.