THE BEDFORD GAZETTE „ rußLisncu evXTTridat morn.no It'V R- F WEYISRS, M K " if not P alJ wjthiu the year. ry"No subscription taker, tor less than six months SX paper discontinued until all arrearage, are ?f.inlM.ai the option of the publtsher. It has ? decided ov the United States Courts thai the b „„ deeded o to v ,. ithout the payment of arrearages, is prima facie evidence of fraud and as * courts 6 have decided that persona are c j.nnntable for the subscription price of newspapers, if they take them from the post office, whether they subscribe for them, or not '_____ Children ome much of their Sioines. to <*>*.- No matter where the disease may appear to be seat- Is itaoriain may be traced to suppreaaed perspiration W Cwmpa ""d Lung Complaint, are m ,t nroducts of Cold-. In Short Colds ere the hur of half the diseases that afflict _hu.rn.nrty, for as they a'e caused by checked perspiration, nnd ashve- eights of the waste matter of the body es e, lhr ougb the pores, if these pores are closed, that portion of diseases necessarily follows, keep . therefore, of Colds and Coughs, the great niecursers of disease, or if contracted, breaic them li f money,) postage stamps, bank checks, siiinplastcrb, good bank bills, and all others at this office in payment of subscription, etc., at the highest market value. &yA few mornings since, wo were relating to our family the f"ct of a friend having found upon his doorstep a line nmle infant, whom he had adopted, when one of the olive branches remarked: Pa., dear, it'll be his Step son, wou't it? We thought it would. I !sflcct JJottrn. A DREAM. I dreamed I !ood outaide of hell's Dark walls, and cries, and groans, and yells, Heard faintly from atar within That dark abode of pain and sin t Louder and louder, on the ear Those manuals broke, and seemed more near To be advancing, like the roar Of some dark storm-cloud breaking o'er A mighty forest, old and still, And rushing on o'er dale and hill. Curses and imprecations dim, Terms of contempt and vengeful ire, From myriad tongues, 1 now would bear, Kicb moment se> ming still inore near. Toward where 1 stood the tumult grew, And Hell's broad gates wide open tiew. Out rushed a being, sore in haste By demons, imp?, and devils chased. "Drive him otf!" loud Sa'an cried, "And you, Gate-keeper, woe betide, "if e'er within these walls is seen "Another heing half so mean." A (lend came near, t said, "Pray tell Is aught too mean, too vile for hell I Who can that wretched being be, Whom tiiou bast forced so fast to flee From this dark den of sin ami shame ? Tell whence he came, am! what's his name J" He grinned smile of fiend-like mirib, And cried, "A Copper/tearl from Eurtfi." [Bedford Inquirer. And so you "stood outside of heli," And heard the awful tale you tell ! Why don't you now the reason state You didn't stand within the gate 1 The simple imp who kept the door, •lust saw your ears, nor needed more, And sung out, us you tried to pass, -iHell is no pasture for ati Ass." Letters from Majer jack Downing. SECOND SERIES —NO. IV. WASHINGTON, Dec. 10, ISO J. To the E(liter; 1 , of the Dalook: •Sens:—When I writ you last, the Mes sige warn't finished. Wal, sich a time as we had iinisliin that docyment you never did see. The Kernel an i set up all nite long three or four nite3, but it was nigh a bout onposaibul to git him. He would git it fixt, then Seward would cum in an say it was too bold. Then Chase he'd ciftn an say it warn't bold enuf; an fi nally 1 teljed him to make it as old Deacon Grimes did his oven. He wanted to know how that was. Wal, I telled hint it was this wfty fflJic Deacon built an uvea facin to the Nwln, when one of his nabers cum along an fed that would never do, as the North wind would blow rite in the mouth of the oven. So the old man turned it a round, air put the face to the South. Purty soou another naber cum along, an se3 lie, "Deacon, it will never do to have the oven face the South, for there ain't any wind so blusterin as the South wind." So the Dea con turned it around to the West. Purty soon a man ciun along, an ses he, "Deacon, don't you know that the worst showers an h any canes we have always cum from the West? It will never do to face your oven that way." So the Decon determined to change it around to the East. He hadn't more than got it dun, before another naber cum along, an ses he, "Why, Deacon Grimes, I'm perfectly astonished to sec you buildin an oven an facia it to the East.— There' ain't any wind so sarchin an penctra tin as the East wind, an it will blow your fire all out of the oven." "Wal," ses the old Deacon, perfectly discuragcd, "I'll suit you all. TH build my oven on a pivot, an when you cum along you can turn it around jest as you want it." "Now," ses I, "Ker nel, that's the way with your Messigc,"— Ses he, "that's a fact; the only trubbil is to fix ou a pivot on which it kin turn."— "Wal," ses I, "that's the easiest thing in tfie world. Take the nigger for the pivot, an it will suit every man in your party. The only difference between 'em is, that some don't like 10 look him square in the face. That sort can turn your Messige around a little, an they'll sec "the nigger sideways; an those thr.t can't stand fliat, can turn it clear around, an then they'll see the nigger in the back, but it will be nigger all the time!" The Kernel seel it was a capital idee, an he ment to carry it out. It got noised around that the Kernel was cumin out with sum big thing in his Messige, an every Con gressman, when he got to \\ ashinton, run rite to ihe White House to give the Kernel advice. They nigh about run him to deth. | "Wal " ses I, "Kernel, make 'em believe you're sick." "fciho,' ses lie, "that won t do a bit of good. I've tried it often, an the v' bore me wus than ever," ' 'Wal, " ses I, "tell 'em you've got the scarlet fever, an | that will scare 'em away." The Kernel sed • it was a fust-rate idee, an so it wr.s an nounced in all die papers that the President had the scarlet fever; but if didn't do much good. Sum staiu away, but the crowd yet was trenierius. "Now,' scs I, "Kernel, this is too bad; here it's almost time for Congress to meet, an no Messige dun yet. Jest let die reporters announce that you've got rhc small pox, an there won't be a moth er's son of 'em cum within gunshot of you. Then you can fix your Messige, put in that patent pivot, an grease things up generally, so they'll runanofixer year without feel ing." The Kernei sed there was no other way than to do it. When it got out that the Ke.nei bad the email pox, you never see sich a , WHOLE NUMBER, 80SJ VOL. 7, NO 22. calm. The White House was nigh about deserted, an it seemed like a Sunday up in Maine. The Kernel then set rite down to his Messigc, an worked like a hecver. He sed he could allers soon put a thing in shape after the foundation timbers wer laid. An so he did. When he got it tiuished, he called Seward an red it to him. He sed it was capital. Then he sent for Chase, an he sed it was all rite. "Now," scs I, "Ker nel, send for a War Dimmjcrat, an see how he'll like it." When I sed this, the Kernel laffed rite out. Ses he, "Majer, you're jo kin—T know you are." Ses he, "The War Dimrayctfats remind me of a story about bar-huntin out West. Oid Josh Muggin liad a young dog wich was very fierce for bars. So one day he tuk him along on a hunt. In the very first tite the bar bit the dog's tail off, an away he run yeipir. an bar kin like mad, an Josh could never git his dog to fite bars after that. Now, it ' 3 jest so with the War Dimmycrats. They were very fierce to fite me if I issued my Etnan cipashin Proclamashin, but I did it, an by eo doin, I cut their tails off, an they have 1 never showed any lite agin me sence, an they won't. No—l rn'aly wish I hadn't eny more trubbil on hand than the War Dim mycrats will give me." Ses I, "Kernel, I think you're rather , hard on the War Dimmycrats. They sup ported you because they thot you was try in to restoie the Union, but now when they read your messigc an sec that you won't have the Union back cny how, they'll say you deceived 'em, and you may find 'em the I most trubblesum customers you've yet had to deal with. They ment to sustain the government, hut now when they see that you won't sustain it, they may turn on you wus than the copperheads have," an ses I, "Kernel, you jist git the Dimmycrats uni ted, an I shucln't wonder if they wud Ire af ter this, an then let all your Miss Nancy Abolishinisls look out, for there won't be as much left of "em as there was of Bill Peel er's dog after his panther fite." Scs the Kernel, scs he, "how much was that?"— "Wal," ses I, "Bill always sed there wam't liotliln left but the collar he had round his neck, an the tip eend of his tail, about an inch long." "Wal," ses the Kernel, "Pvo got to go ahed, no matter who don't like it, or who gits licked in the file. I'me in the Abolishin bote, an you can't stop it now eny more than you can put Lake Superior in a quart bottle." Ses I, "Go ahed, Kernel: I allers like to see a man bold an strong on his own principles. There's nothin like pluck. Let every body know jist what yeu mean, an then if they support you it's their own fault." "Wal," ses he, "ain't I plain enuf this time?" "Yes," ses I, "Kernel, all but the amnesty part—that's kinder pnt tyfogy." "Wal," se3 he, "Major, men that can't see a hole thru a ladder ought to be humbugged." Ses I, "Mebbv that's so, hut we'll all know more about who's humbug ged an who isn't after the war is over." But I never did see people so tickled over the Messige as the Republikins all are.— They say it is jest the thing—that it is go in to wipe out slavery, an prevent the "U --nion as it was" ever bein restored; an then it's dun so cutely, that a good menny peo ple won't see thru it. That amnesty dodge throws dust in their eyes, an kinder sounds generous, like. There's a great fife cumin off among the Abolishinists about who's to be run for next President, an I think I'll hav sum noos for you afore long. Enyhow, I shall keep my eyes open as ushil. Yourn, till deth, MAJEK JACK DOWNING. An OLD L AIIV'S ADVICE TO IIEB SOX. — "Now Now, John, listen to me—l'm older than you, or I could'nt bo your mother. Never do you marry a young woman, before you have con trived to happen to bo around four or five times before breakfast. You should know how late sho lies in lied in the morning. You should take notice whether her complexion is the same in the morning as in the evening, or whether tho wash and towel have robbed her of her evening bloom. You should take care to sur prise her, so that you may see her in l er morn ing drees, and observe how her hair looks when sho is hot exporting yon. If possible, you ( should be where you can bear the morniDg conversation between her and her mother.— j If she is ill-natured and snappish to her mother, so she will be to you, depend on it. Hut if I you find her up,and dressed neatly ia the morn -1 ing, with the same smilos, the neatly combed hair, the same ready and pleasant answers to her mother, which characterized hor deportment in the evening, and particularly if she is lend ing a hand to get the breakfast in good seusou, she is a pri/,c, John, and tho sooner you secure her to yourself, the hotter." tsrM-s. Snake says the reason why tho chil dren of this generation tiro so bad is owing to the wearing 01 baluiornl boots instead of Ihe old fashioned slippers. Mothei s find it too much trouble to take otf their l>oots to whip their children, so tboy go unpunished; bat when she was a child the way tho slipper used to do dou ble duty was a caution to the whole family. , td*Many persons write articles and send them to editors to be corrected—as if an editor's of fice were a house of correction. j 3i>tstrti4ing. One Square, three weeks or les*.'. . ... One Square, each additional insertion less' than three months . , 94 ~ ® months. 6 MoNxns. 1 rua 2 nes 1 uare " $3 00 $4 00 $0 iwosqnares 400 500 9 Three squares 500 700 12 i Column 600 900 15 0* i Column 800 12 00 20 O i Column 12 00 18 00 30 00 One Column ..... 18 00 30 00 50 00 Administrators' and Executors' notices $2.50, Ab uitors' notices $1.50, rf under 10 lines. $2.00 if more than a square and less than 20 lines. Eatrays, $1.25, if but one bead is advertised, 23 cents for every additional head. The spaceoccupied by ten fines of this size ot type counts one square. All fractions of a square under five lines will be measured as a half square and all over five lines as a foil square. All legal advertiiements will be charged to the person Mbit ins them in. Auriferous Domestic. _ Since the days of Miss Kilmansegsfs golden birth, christening, betrothal, marriage and death we have had nothing quite so auriferous and Pactolian as the account given in the Tribune of 21st ult., of Commodore Vaniisruii.t's Gold en Wedding, Golden, indeed, it was. With the exception of Mrs. Commodore Vandlhuiit's, curls, which, we arc told, were silvered, , aud hur dress, which was of a stiver gray, no baser met al was allowed to presume on those premises, on that occasion. There was "Gold ! Gold! Gold I Gold ! Bright and yellow, hard and cold, Molten, graven, hammer'd, and roll'd recklessly, riotously, we had almost said, osten tatiously. strewn about. "A profusion of bracelets, porte-monnaies, gold plate, exquisitely cat ved chess men, sup erbly bound Bibles, brooches, and Ji-mininn or naments of every kiud, made the whole table one blaze of gold. ''The Commodore's princely gift to his ma tron bride occupied the centre of the table. It was a miniature propeller of pure gold. The party seems to have been arranged with a view to make pretentious shoddyites, whose rooms are said to be papered with tuousand dollr.r greenbacks, and whose pincushions are stuffed with postal currency, die with envy— The golden ennes, golden whips, gold chains, gold dressing-cases were scattered about, accord ing to the Tribune's account, so promiscuously that a stranger would have supposed himself in a Bric-a-brace or a jeweler's store, and not in a gentleman's private parlor. In what language shall the parties to this feast of Midas be depicted? The golden light which the chandeliers shed, the gold cffulgetico which emblazoned the brow of the illustrious Commodore, who was in "black, with his uaual snow-white waistcoat"—how shall all this be told by the rustic who stands wistfully by, gaz ing on at the Pactolian stream which is rushing by, but at which he win only look and so much as put in his little finger? Gold ! and Gold 1 and Gold without end ! He had gold to lay bv, and gold to spend, Gold to give and gold to lend And reversions of gold i futnro. In wealth the family revelled and tolled. Himself and his wife, and his sons so bold! And bis daughten sang to tbeir harps of gold "O hel eta del' oro !" Then, too, there, were ''ceremonies" at this family gathering, (is the reporter of the Tribune a member of the Commodore's family, we won der), —set speeches and replies, ' and nil those dreary formalities of decorous manifestation ot pre-arranged affection for which English family dinners used to be celebrated, but which they had tho good ts#tc to give up, and which they never did have published in a newspaper. And thnt it is in a newspaper, is the reason and tho moral of our meddling with the private (II) par ty of Commodore VANuanmr.T. Do we mock at his money and his golden wedding ? Far from it. We respect the ability which hits acquired, and admire tho liberality which makes so good use of, such vast means. But we would have liked the Commodore better had he not invited that newspaper reporter. We would hava thought more of him if he had looked upon that anniversary of a long past happiness, and that testimonial of a present pride and affection, as a something sacred which should have been con cealed from the public gaze. The recollections and emotions which such a moment should call forth arc those which cannot live iu tho blaze of publicity. Thoy are evoked and best celebrated only in company with those whose feelings par take of the sentiments of the occasion—who love, too, to look down the valley that has been trodden, and can join in tho future hopes which inspire the interested heart. The sons, the daughters and descendants—even the dear old friends of boyhood, who have acoompnnied and fought with us in the bustle of life—may bo properly admitted as rightful participants and accessories of such a celebration; but let not the private hearth, with its tender, foolish re miniscences, its griefs and loves, and happy memories, be exploit?, for the delectation of the town. That is not celebrating n golden or afiv other wedding. It is consecrating tho "golden," but desecrating tho "wedding." Has not the whole of our American life be come too open, too notorious ? Are wa not los ing our relish for inertly home enjoyments, and are we not getting to depend for our pleasures too much on outside admiration ? If it be so, without stopping to consider the reasons which have brought it about, let us pa use, and endeav or retrace our steps to the simple virtues of our fathers. Let us learn to keep something that is for our own selves and our own families t.- lone; thnt no prying eyes of public, curiosity may make comment; some feelings that we re tire within our breasts and do not by universal exposure make them worthless by destroying their chiefcst merit—secrecy. This is wVat tlie Tribune 's account of Com- VASUEIMIILT'S wedding teaches us.— Ago. TUE OaiirissiONs OV TUB MBSBAODl. —Lincoln'* 1 message is more remarkable for what is not in it than for what there is. An exchange well says: "He says nothing about onr relations with Mexico—a question that before long is to over shadow all others in our foreign relations.—Fie says nothing about our lately threatened im broglio with Great Britain or France, and, most remarkable of all, he lias not a word a bout the military operations of the year, their present situation nor their prospective accomp lishments ; and the Haute is true relative to the navy. We does not mention a General nor a soldier, what they have done nor what they ■have failed to do—not a word for the captors of Vicksburg or Port Hudson, not u word for those who stood up and fought and won at Gettysburg or Chattanooga—not a word for those who ore wasting away their lives before Charleston—not a word about Grant, or Meade, or Banks, or Oilmen, or Dupont, or Farragut or Dahlgren.