THE BEDFORD GAZETTE IS PUBLISHED EVER* FRIDAT IIORMKO BY B. F. MEYERS, It the following terms, to wit : $3 00 per annum, if pan' within the yenr. $3..M1 " " IF NO' P#' s, Pimp'es, Bintcn es. Tan, Freckles, and all Impurities of tha Skin, leaving the name soft, clear, smooth and heautilu . 1 will also mail free to those having 8..U1 He'd, or Bare Face?, simple directions and tnlormation that will enable them to start a full growth ot Lux uriant Hail, Whiskers, or a 1 oustache, in less than 3D days. All applications anawerad by return mail without charge. Respectfully yours, THOS. F. CHAPM AN, ('hemist, No 831 Broadway, New Yoik. August 14, 1863 —3m A GENTLEMAN, cured of Nervoiis Debility. Incompetency, Premature Decay and Youthful Fu ror, actuated by a desire to benefit others, will be happy to fumiah to all who need it [ iee of charg ] the recipe and directions for m hl by ali DiuggisW, at 13 sects and 13 cents per bottle. Jan. 23, 1863 ly. NEW JERSFY LANDS FOR SALE—ALSO GARDEN OR FRUIT FARMS. Suitable forUrapm, Peaches, Pens, Raspbenies, Slrawber iea, Blackberries, Currants. Ike., of I,'A. 5, 10 or 20 acres each, at the following prices for the pre-ent, viz: 20 seres foi S2OO, 10 acres for sllO, 5 acres foi S6O, 2J acres for S4O, I acre for S2O. Pay'l hie ly one dollar a week. Also, stood Cranberry lands, and village lots in CHETWOO i, 25 by 100 feet, ar $lO each, payable by one dollar a week. The ibove land arid larms •are situated at Clvtwood, Washington township, Burlington county. New Jersey. For further infor mation, apply, with a P. I). Slump, for a circular, to B. FRANKLIN CI.ARK, No. 90, Cedar street, N. w York, N. Y. Jan. 16, 1863. Iy. professional (Tarts. U • II • A K ER S , ATTORMF.Y AT LAW, Rrdford, Pa. Will promptly attend to all husiness entrusted to tiis rare. .Military clairvt speedily collected. Office on Ju'iana street, opposite the post-office. Bedford, September 11, 1863. F. M. KIMHSLI.. I. VV. LINGKNFELTER. KIMMELL & LINGEMFFLTER. ATTORNEYS AT LAW, BEDFORD, PA. 07-Httve formed a partnership in the p M actice of t he Law. Office on Juliana street, two doora South 0 f the "Mengel Home." JOB MANN. G. H. SrAito. Ml n S Jfc S P JL N (i . ATTORNEYS AT LAW, BEDFORD, PA. The undersigned havs associated themselves in the Practice ol the I.aw, and will attend promptly to ell business entrusted to their caie in bedlord and adjoining comities. on luliuna Street, three doors south #f tne -Mengel House, ' opposite the residence ol Maj. Tale. Bedford, Aug. 1, 1861. Jouv CSSSNA. O. K. SHANNON. c i: s s s * & s ii \ % \ o s. ATTORNEYS AT LAW, BEDFORD, PA., formed a Partnership in Ihe Practice of the Law. Office nearly opposite the Gazette Office, where one or the other may at all times be lound. Bedlord, Aug, 1,1861. JtißK P. REED. ATTORNEY AT LAW, BEDFORD, PA., Heepertfidly tenders hi* servirrs to the Puh'te. (ET'Otfice second door North of the Mengel Bouse Bedford, Aug, 1, 1861. JOHN PALMER, ATTORNEY AT LAW, BEDFORD, PA, KT'Will promptly attend lo a'l business entrus ted to his rare. Office on Julianna Street, (near, iy opposite the Mengel House.) Bedlard, Aug. 1, 1861. .1. N. COFFROTH. ATTORNEY AT LAW, Somerset, Pa, Will hereafter practice regularly in he several Courts of Bedford county.. Business entrnslcd to his care will he faithfully attended to. ' Deceaib-r 6, 1861. SAMUEL KETTERiHAX, BEDFORD, PA., CT-Wottld hereby notify the citizens of Bedford county, thai he has moved ro the Borough of F,ed ford, where he may at all times be found b' persons wishing to see him. unless absent upor. business pertain ng to his office. Bedford, Aug. 1,1861. JACOB RRED, J. J. SCHRI.L, REED A!V!) SfHELL, BANKERS FC DEALERS IN EXCHANGE, BEDFORD, PKNN'A. KF"DRAETS bought and sold, collections made -and money promptly remitted. Deposits solicited. REFERENCES. Hon. Job Mann, Hon. John Cessna, and John Mower, Bedford Pa., R. Forward, Somerset, Bunn, Raiguel He Co., Phil. J. A'att hi Co., J. W. Cuiley, Jt Co., Pittsburg. gT. CHARLES HOTEL, CORNER OP WOOD I ND THIRD STREETS t I T T S P U B. G IT, r A HARRY SHIRLS PROPRIETOR. April 12 1861. Stray Cattle. Strayed from my premises, on or abntit the Brst f June last, one 3 year old steer and one 2 year old heifer, both red with some white spots on them.-p- The heif.r bed a piece cut off each ear, and a slit in Ihe right oar. Also, went astray on the 24th of last September, four yearling calves, red with white tpots, both ears off and a slit in the right ear. Any person returning these cattle to the undersigned Will be suitably rewarded. ISAAC CLARE. ■arrises tp., Qe4, VOLUME SO. NEW SERIES. Select floetrn. THE OLD FARM HOUSE. At the foot of the hill, near the old rod mill, In a quiet shady spot, Just peeping through, half hid from view, Stands a little muss-grown cot; And straying through at the open door, The sunbeams play on the sanded floor. The easy chair, all patched with care, In placed by the old hearthstone ; Willi witching grace, in the old lire-place, The evergreens are strewn, The pictures hang on the whitened wall And the clock ticks in the cottage hall. More lovely still on, the window sill, The dew-eyed dowers rest, While midst the eav.-s on moss-grown leaves' The martin builds her nest, And all day long the summer breeze Is whispering love to the bending trecs^ Over the door, all covered o'er With a sack of dark green baize Lies a mu-ket of old, whose worth is tol.l In events of other days; And the powder flask and hunter's horn, Have hung beside it for many a morn. For years have fled, with a noiseless tread, Like fairy dreams away, And h'lt in his flight, all shorn of his might, A father—-old and gray ; And the soft winds play with snow-white hair I As the old man sleeps in his easy chair. In at tiie door, on the samM floor, Light fairy foot-steeps glide And a maiden fair, with flaxen hair, Kneels by the old man's side— An old oak wrecked by the angry storm. While the ivy clings to its trembling form. Lettsr from Majsr Jack Downing. NUMBER TWENTY-SIX. DowNiN(ivu.LK, Oet. 2G, 18G3. To the Editors of the Lit hook: Suns:—'Cause your readers hain't herd from me lately, I 'spose they think I'm ded or gono over to the Abolishinists, which is a tarnal sight wus; but I ain't in neither fix. I'm pretty well, jest now. The hot wether, durin' the summer, kinder fried me, but.l carry eighty years jest about as well as anv man ever did. The resin you ain't herd from me is jest this:—l've been feel j in' oncointnon gloomy and down-spcrited ) all summer. Everything seemed to be goin from bad to wus. Linkin wouldn't take my advice an cum out agin the Abolishinists, but issued his free nigger proclamashin rite agin the law an the Constitusliin both.— \Val, things have gone down hill rapid sence then. The Dimmycratic party didn't cum out bluntly agin this proclamashin, but kept on Biipporlin' the war an flic consequent is, it has been whipped all around. Poli tics are gettin' down to first principles.— The Dimmycratic party reminds me of old deacon Dooiit tie's youngest bov, Bob.— When Bob was about fifteen years old, he was the most awful liar I ever knew. An lie would not only lie, but he used to steal the other boys'dinners out. of their baskets. One day, at school, the teacher undertook to whip him, an Boh jumped out of the window an run hum across lots, frightening on his way old Sol Pendcrgrass's bay mare so badly that she broke her leg in trvin' to jump over a fence, an died the next day.— The old Deacon called Bob up, an gave him a terrible wliippin.' As he was about clo.dn' up the job the Deacon, ses lie, "Bob, why can't you behave yourself?" "Wal, Pop," ses Bob, drawlin' out ihe words be tween tiie blubberin', "theresin is jest this: /can't behave unless I am licked An jest so it is yvilli the Dimmycratic party.— it can't behave itself unless it's licked. I should ihirik its late thrashings ought to put it on its good behavior. Things arc now jest as bad as they kin be, and that is what encourages me. I shall never forget He/.iakiah Stebhins, who lived aw ay up in the upper part of Penobscot.— One winter it bad bean awful cold weather, and 'Kiah had had wonderful bad luck, and towards spring it seemed to get worse in stead of better, lie had lost his horse and his cow, and his chickens, and all his pigs but one. Finally that died, an 1 the next day I happened to go up to his house to sec how lie was got tin along. I found the old man happy as a lark, lie was sing in' and shoutin as if nothing had hnppen'd. When I went in ses I, "'Kiah, what on airth is the matter?" "Oh,"ses lie, "ihe last pig is ded," and lie went to jumpin and clappin his hands, as if he was the happiest man in the universe. Ses I, "what poscs ses you to act so ?" "Wal," BOS he, "things can"? be no wus. The last pig is ded! any thing that happens now must be for the better." And just so it is with the Dim mycratic party. Anything now that hap pens to it mast be for the better, and I j must confess that I feel a good deal like I 'Kiah. I don't feel at all like settin down ' and cryin like a sick baby over spilt milk, because we've been whipt in the late elce j shins. That ain't the way old Ginral Hick j ory Jackson taught me Democracy, j The other day I got a letter from Linkin, Freedom of Thought and Opinion. BEDFORD, PA., FRIDAY MORNING, NOVEMBER ft 1863. ask in me to cum on to Washington. He se3 he is gettin into a lieep of trouble about hi) next messidge, all on account of the diffikilty which l?lair an Chase air kickin up up about wiiat is to be dun with the an thin Statc3 after the reltelvon is put down. He. ses lie wants me to help git up the raessidge, and kinder fix things up ginrally. I writ back that cold wether was comin on, and my rumat 12 would probably trouble me-, so I could not tell exactly what 1 would do, hut if I could be of any service to my coun try, as long as life lasted I would do my duty. 1 wrote him also about that matter of the southern States, as 1 told him that it reminded me of the old receipt for eook a rabbit. " J''irst catch your rabbit." •! told him they had not got the southern Slates yet, that they sai lainly wouldn't got them this .year, an I didn't sec any g/x-at likelihood of gettin them next year. In fact the limes of the soldiers were mo.-lly out, an I didn't believe they ever could get another sich an army, an that if iie followed my advice he wouid get up a Peace this winter without fail. [ ain't got any answer to this letter, but I shall wait for one before 1 go. If the Kernel talks huffy I won't stir a step, for ho knows I alleiv tell him the plain, blunt truth, as IfUelieve it.— Wen I can't talk that way lojt man I won't have nothing to do wiih him. The old Ginneial allcis wanted every body around .him to speak their rale sentiments. Nothin made him so mad as to suspect any body of flatterin him, orshammin in anyway. The other day Kernel Stcbbinscum hum from the war. The Kernel has been down ( to Morris Island with Ginneral Gilmur.— j He sc3 that the sand on that island is kin-' der onaccountable. The Kernel reckons' he has eat nigh about a bus.hcl. Tue Ker- ■ nel used to be very good on riling poetry, ! but ho ses all the flatus lias oozed out of j him, an ho don't be live lie could rite a line to save his life. We had a grand reeepshin for the Kapicl on his arrival. Tile Down- 1 ingville Insensible turned out as usual on sich occasions. You recollect that the Ker nel went off as an limine, an when he was promoted to be Captain lie cum [mm an \vc giv him a reeepshin. Now he is raised t<>' Kernel he cunis hum agin. He cuius ev;' ery time he-gets promoted to let o!dutyboi\ see how he looks, ir. his new uniform, i never see the Kernel look so well. lie has got a span new suit of biuo uniform, ail covered with gold buttons an gold lace an gold shoulder straps. 1 tell you, the peo ple looked astonished, and the Downingvillc folks feel very proud of him. The Kernel expects before long to be a Ginneral, and then to be called to the command of the Army of the Potomac.! Won the Kernel was received at the Town Hall, Kernel Dooiittlc, who commands the Down ingville lnsen.siblos, made the reeepshin speech.— The following is the speech, with the Ker nel's reply: — "Kernel Stcbbins: I am deputed by the citizens of Dowuingvilie to welcome you once more to your native town and liuni We heard of your gallant exploits, your] glorious bravery, your never dyin devoahin 1 to the Star Spangled Banner. Coinin as you do, covered with the dust and biood of the battle-field, we hail you as tiie, j friend of the oppressed African and the sa- j vior of your country." To which the Kernel replied. "Kernel Dooliitle: 1 can't begin to ex press to you flic feclins of my hart. This oeeashiii is techin. Hojers can't make speech es. I've dun my duty. L'v seen tiie cannons roar. I've heard the flash of a thousand rifles all at once. There ain't nothin that j I can equal it for rite down tall sublimity, i But, teller-citizens, we ought to In: must' I rejoiced now because freedom is going it at such big licks. I'me a manifest destiny man. I believe freedom is to extend from the-frozen piano of Alabama to tiie su r y banks of Newfoundland. There ain't nnfh in kin stop it. It is com a li! an ava lanche from tiie eternal hills of Giber.dier. Freedom! Freedom! will re-sound from ore asiiin come to pullin turnip time, an all ihe hopples that bind the legs of American cit izens of AfViken 'scent will fail off Thorn's my sentiments, and. I don't kcer who knows i'eni. The old Union ain't of any inoreac kount in these 'ere times than an iron pot with a hole in the bottom. Wat we want is a new Union which will have for its mot to the celebrated words of Daniel VVebater, "Freedom and niggers—now and forever— ons and in- pirabie." "Amen," yelled out Deacon Jonkins, who had been listenin' attentively, as the Kernel sat down, and the hull audience broke out inlo the most tumultuous applause. There is a little mistake in Kernel Doolit tle's speech, where he speaks of Kernel Slebbins being covered with the dust an blood of the battle-field. Now, the truth j was, the Kernel, with his uniform, looked . as if lie had jest cum out of a band-box, ! but Kernel Doolittlo had his speech writ j out, an lie couldn't alter it. Kernel Stabbius 1 got on such high bosses, that he talked a- 1 bout seeing the booniin' of cannon an hear- ] in' the flash of guns, but the truth was, he ' didn't know exactly what he said an the people were so carried away with bav in' a live Kernel among them, that they didn't notice it. There ain't been nothin' talked of in Downingvillc sence the Ker nel's return, except his reeepshin. Eider Snifllos preached a 'sarmon on it, takin' for his text "There shall be wars an rumors of war," and ptovin', from the Bible, that war is the duty of all real, genuine Chris tians. So, you see, there ain't a mure loy al place in the country, unless it be Wasli ingron, where a!! the officeholders an con tractors live. But I must close. I didn't expect to write yOu but a few line 3 this time. If Igo to Washington, I will let you into the kSecrcts of tiie Biair an Chase rumpus, an keep you posted up ginerally on things behind the curtin. Yours, till deth, MAJEB JACK DOWNING. Execution of Dr. Wright. His Attempt to Escape from Prison. DEVOTION OF HIS DAUGHTER. The Portsmouth (Va.) Old Duiniiion, of Fri day last, narrates the following attempt of Dr. Wright, sentenced to he hung oil Friday, to escape on Thursday night. Our readers well remember that Dr. Wright—who was an old citizvii of Norfolk, shot .the captain of a com pany of negro soldiers, wiio were making a hide ous noise in front of his house. Ho told the captain to take the negroc3 away from liisdoor and ivr -ived an insulting answer, whereupon he got a gun and shot the ollicer. For this olfcncia he was tried by a court martial and sentenced to be hung. Few can penetrate the deep sagacity or sub vert the determination of woman. Seeing the desperate circumstances of her father, Miss Pen elope, tho eldest daughter of Dr. Wright, re sorted to an expedient that in most canoes would j result in perfect success, but the readily observed disproportion of the Doutof and his daughter foiled her most sanguine anticipations—lt has long been a custom for the family to visit the Doctor every evening, and last evening Miss Penelope came as usual, but soon after entering the 001 l the light ordinarily used by the Doctor during such conferences was extinguished, which aroused the suspicion of Lieut. Cook, who lias especial charge, and he placed a detective front ing the door, to watch their movements. liut there is no penetrating the my.-tcry of an iivhdligigit worpan's deliberate purpose. Al though the eye of the detective apparently scanned the cell's interior, she managed in the shadow to transfer to the Doctor the guise of woman, and so to veil and otherwise conceal his person, tii.i in passing through the b'uil !iag there was no recognition until one of the turnkeys, named (iarrisot, after lie had gotten out of and some fifty yards from the prison, suggested that the lady was very tall for Dr. Wright's daugh ter. Lieut. Cook, on the <[ui vice, lost he should he deceived, immediately hurried after the figure, and to feci positive that nothing was wrong, lifted the veil, when lo! contra btmos mores, the Doctor was discovered apparelled u hi feminine. Ho exhibited bat little embarrassment, simply observing to the Lieutenant that "desperate means wore pardonable und r desperate circum stances," and turning, walked back to bis cell as unconcernedly as if nothing unusual had oc curred. I Entering, the daughter was found reclining upon the bed, boots oil and protruding from be neath tliu covering, the Doctor's style. She was as deeply surprised as she was pained to ascer tain the apprehension of her lather, and the thwarting ol her deep-laid scheme. No restraint was imposed upon her by theofliecrs in charge, i and the iJoctor handed tier to the care of Lieut. Ko'terta, who escorted her home. Extraneous intelligence informs us that every arrangement had been completed for facilitating the Doctor's escape. A carriage was stationed in waiting a short distance from the prison, out side of pickets that guard the different avenues leading to the jail, and every essential and suit able precaution taken to insure his safety. THE EXECUTION. The sentence of "death by hanging" was carried out on Dr. Wright on Friday morning at ten o'clock. A few moments before time o'clock, the Twenty-first Connecticut regiment, Co oael Dufton, and the One Hundred and i'.igliieeiith New York, Colonel Koose, forming the escort, were drawn up in Jtne, awaiting the appearance of the prisoner. As nine o'clock sounded Dr. Wrigut appeared, supported on either side by his spiritual advisers, ami, amid Ihe vacuum like lut.-hot the awe-stricken crowd, the old in,in tottered down the steps, trembling at first, but gaining confidence and strength at ho moved. He paused a moment on the side walk to speak to several whose faces he recog nized, smiled calmly as he looked around upon the sea of faces, and entered the' enrriago as signed to him. i'hu scaUbkl was erected at what is known ai the Fair Ground, a level plot of ground in the suburbs of the city, and distant about one mile from the jail. Here were three regiments ; tliu Eighth, Fifteenth, and Eighteenth Conneeti- j cut —forming three sides of a hollow square, in | the center of which stood the gallows, with its suggestive paraphernalia. In aa advantageous position was posted Regan's Seventh New Yo.k battery, with gnus unltmbcrcd, shotted, and ready for action. The Second North Carolina (colored) regiment, Colonel Draper, arrived at a late hour, and formed the fourth side of the square. There was a temporary push of the crowd on the bayonets of the guard, as Dr. Wright walked boldly ittlo view, and, with the aid of the ministers who surrounded him, ascended the steps of the gallows, and stixxi in full view of the musses, lie seented to have lost his nerv ousness of au nottr before, and stood calmly WHOLE XU7VBER, 3083 VOL. 7, NO 15. 1 facing his audience, as if he- were there on a holiday occasion, j The prisoner's farewell with his family was the moat affecting scene. One by one they em braced him, clinging to each other with childish fondness. Finally the painful duty had been performed, and none remained upou the stage but Captain Shepherd and Dr. Rodman, the officiating clergyman. The charges against the culprit were read aloud to the assembled multi tude, together with the sentence of the Court, and tlie orders based thereon: throughout which the p.Toner stood erect, looking neither to the right nor left, but straightforward, and preserv ing in his body tue stiffness and immobility of a statue. This form through, Dr. Rodman I offered a prayer for the prisoner, which over, lie embraced him tenderly, remaining locked in his arms for some moments, apparently whispering words of comfort in a wiliing ear, and then unloosing his grasp, descended the steps, and : the prisoner and the executioner—a man detailed | from one of the regiments—,-tood alone, and !■ face to face "beneath the gallows tree.'' The solemnity of this scene transcends all descrip tion. The painful silence, the monotonous sound | of the prisoner's voice, as he himself knelt and : addressed the God he had outraged, the stern ■ array of bayonets, and the marble like stolidity I of the faces of those who bore them, conspired to produce a mental effect far from inspiring to the coldest and most indifferent heart. The ap peal of the doomed man was short, however, and, rising immediately on its conclusion, he j stood once more firmly on his feet, and faced the few friends and many enemies who surround ed him. His last words were: "The deed I committed was done without malice." The usual and final formula having liven gone through, the rope descended, the dull sound of the cord reached its utmost tension, and in a moment the mass of yet warm flesh which a moment before war, heard offering up a prayer to its Maker was dangling between the earth and mat great uncertainty—• the hereafter. THE FXD. After hanging about thirty minutes, life hav ing been found extinct, the body was taken down and delivered over to the mourning friends, who had a hearse in waiting to receive it. THE FUNERAL took place in the evening, at six o'clock, from the former residence of the Doctor. From the Bunker Hill Aurora. Surgical Elimination of a Ooascr'pt. The other day chief engineer Dean, ot lite Fire Department, called at the otliee where I make shoes for a living, and handed me a big white envelope* notifying me thati was drafted and must report myself for examination, at Lawrence, on the 18th of August. Mow, 1 consider it the duly of every citizen to give tiis lite, if need ho, for the defence of his country; so, on the morning of the eventful 18t.ii, I put on a clean shirt and my Sunday clothes, and started for Lawrence, to see if I could get exempted. Lawrence is situated on the llerrinmc river, and its principal productions are uiud, du.it and factory girls. The city proper, at least that part that 1 saw, consisted of a long, narrow entry, up one flight of stairs, adorned overhead with a frescoing of gas meters, and carpeted with worn out tobacco quids, and furnished with one chair, two settees, and as many huge, square picking cases, marked "Q. M. D." Scattered around this palatial hall were some forty or fifty con scripts, looking very much as if they expected to be exempted by reason ot old age, before tue young man with u ferocious moustache should notify thuni of their turn. Mostol them, how ever, were doomed to disappointment, for while they counted the hours ot delay, the door would suddenly open, anil the tall young man would single out a iiiun and march him through the open doorway to be seen no more. 14y and by—that is, after several hours wait ing—my turn came. "John Smith!" shouted the door keeper.— ■i'h.it's mc," says 1, and with a cheer from Ihe crowd, I entered u large square room where two persons sat writing at n table, and a third, evi dently a surgeon, wus examining a m.in in the last stages ot nudity. Gae of the writers at the table, a young man with curly eyes and blue hair, nodded to me, and dipping his pen in the ink, commenced— "lotiti .Smith, what's your namet" "John Smith," says I. "Where were you born?" "l'odunk, Maine." "What did your grcut-grandmothcr die of?" "Darned if i know," says I. "Call it hapentap," says he; "and your grand father, loot" "1 don't care what you call it," says I, for I was a little riled at his nonsensical question. "Did you ever have boils?" siqs he. "Not a boil." "Or fils?" "Nary fit?" "Or delirium tremens?" "No sir-uo." "Or rickets?" "I'll ticket you," says I, for I thought he meant something else. "Did you ever have the measles ?" gays he. Here 1 took otf my coat. "Or the itch I" "Yes, sir," I—"that ere fist (ami I shoved a very huge brown one within three inches of his nose) has been ittaing, fur the lust tell minutes, lo knock your pesky head off, you little mean, low-lived, contemptible whelp, you." "My dear sir," suid the uiihl spoken, gentle manly surgeon, laying his hand on my arm, "calm yourself, I pray. Don't let your angry passions lire, but t.ike off your clothes, so I can goo what you are made of." So I suppressed my anger, and withdrawing to a corner, I hung my clothe? up on the floor, and presented myself for examination, clad only with the covering nature had given, except a bout a square inch of court plaster on my right ' Rates of 2Hrerttslng. OneSqosrt, three weeks or less. ...... 41W One Square, earh additional inanition less than three months St 3 MOUTH*. 0 MOUTHS. 1 (ttl ® One square - ...... $3 00 $4 00 $• 09 Two squares 400 600 9 Three squares ...... 00 700 19 { Column 600 900 15 00 J Column ........ 800 12 00 20 C 4 Column 12 00 18 00 30 00 One Column 18 00 30 00 50 00 Adminiatrators'nnrlP.xeeuiora' netieess2.so, Au •litorr'notices $1.50. if under 10 lines. $2 00 if more than a square and less than 20 line*. Katisys, •1.25, if but one head is advertised, 25 cents for j every additional head. ! The sp ice occupied by ten lines of this size ot type countsone squire. All frictions ofs square under five Ijnes will be measured as a bait square and all over five lines as a lull square. All legal advertisements will be charged to the person band jug them in. shin, where I had fallen over a chair, the night before, feeling fur a match. "Young man," Mid the surgeon, looking mo straight in the eve, "you have got the myopia." "Yea, sir," said I, "and n good one, too—a little I'ininger, with a drop of Stonghton, make* an excellent eye-opener of a morning." "And there seems to be an amaurotic tenden cy of the right eye accompanied with opthal mla." "Show!'' snvs I. "And that white spot in the left eye betokena a cataract." "1 guess you mean in the ear," says I, "'cause I went in swimming this morning and got nn all-fired big bubble in my left ear," and here I jumped up and down two or three times on my left foot, but to no purpose. As soon as I stop ped. be mounted a chair, and commenced feel ing the tup of my head. "Was your family ever troubled with epilep sy !" says he. '•Only the two boys," says I; "when they catch them, my wife always goes at them with a line tooth couib, the first thing." Jumping off the chair he hit me a kick in tha ribs that nearly knocked :ne over, and before I | had time to remonstrate, his nrms wore around my neek and his head pressed against my bosom the same way that Sophia Ann does when she wants me to buy her some new bonnets and tilings. "Just what I thought," says he; "tuberculo sis and hemop tosis, combined with a defect in. the scapular membrane and incipient phthisis!" "Heavens!" says I, "what's that!" "Ami cardiac disease." "No 1" said I. "And pendartites!" "Thunder!" said I. "Stop talking! Now count after me—one." 'One!" said I, dead with fright. "Asthma! Two." . "Two!" I yelled. "Exotis of the right febular! Three." "Three!" I gasped. "Coxalgia! Four." "Murder!" said I, "Four." "Confirmed duodenum of the right ventricle I Five." "Oh! doctor, ain't you most through! I feel faint!" "'.Through ? No! Not half through. Why, ray friend, Pandora's box was nothing to yotif clirst. You have ephvnxiana, ami gloriosis, and conclioilngia, and persiflage, and—" Here my knees treuibled so I leaned against the table for support. ''And permanent luxation of the anterior lobe of the right phalanx." My only answer was a deprecatory gestnrt ''And scrofulous diathesis and mnniopodites." I snnk to the floor in utter despair. "Elutriutinn!" he yelled, for he saw I was going f.ist—"and rnaxillariurn and —" I heard no more. Fairl v overcome, I swoon ed away, and was obliged to be carried to tho nearest hotel. Hut I was exempted!! Sux OR (MC) "MOON? —Two men, after drinking and carousing all night at a saloon, Btarted in the morning to go home. It was a beautiful, sunny morning, and as tlicy staggered along, the following conversation , arose: Inebriate No. I—'How bright (hie) the ; moon shines!' : No. 2—'You don't call that (hie) moon, eh? That's (hie) sun.' No. I—"Taint—it's (hie) moon.' No. 2—T tell ye it's sun!' No. I—'Weil less leave (hie) matters to first man we meet.' No. 2—'Agreed.' The two toddled along for a short dis tance, when they chanced to meet a man in exactly the same condition with them selves. Tins individual was immediately treated to the following interrogation: No. 1— 'I nay (l ie) old fellow! We've got inter little spufe; want ye to (h.'c) 'elp us out. My fren here says that's the sun [pointing upwards to Old Sol who was bias ing fiercely down upon them] and I say it' - moon. Now we're goin' to leave the mat ter with you. What is it—sua or (h!c) moon ? The person addressed braced himself, af ter considerable dfficulty, against a lam > post, and then commenced to scrutinize, a well as lie could, the burning orb overhead —repeating in a meditative tone of voice. 'Sun—moon—sun—(hie) —moon.' After a short'observation,'lie exclaimed: 'Fact is, gent'lem, I'm a stranger in this part (hie) of the country, and I can't tell wheth er its sun or (hie) moon.' frA heavy Grand Jury recently met iu Burlington county, New Jersey. Of the whole twenty-four men the lightest weighed 2 lit pounds. One weighed 281 pounds, another 27f5, one 2(i(i. and two each 26ft pounds.— Might of the ninnher weighed over 23ft pounds. The aggregate weight of the twenty-four was 3,866 —an average weight of 245 pounds to each man. BK Pt.'StOTi'Ar,.'— A punctual man to very rarely a poo 1- man, and never n man of doubt ful credit.. His small accounts are frequently settled, and he never meets with difficulty in raising money to pay largo demands. Small debts neglected, ruin credit, and when a man has lost that, he will find himself at the bottom of a hill bo cannot ascend. I A LESSOR.—If the world knocks you down and jostles by you in its great race, don't sit whining under people's feet, hut get up, rubyour elbows, and begin again.