THE BEDTOBD OAZBTTE It fVtWWKU BVSfiV to.IDAT MOBtlta BW B. 41 tic fallowing itrmi, to wit i out our "national troubles." Well, supper over, he tottered to his sent in tho old "split-bottom" chair by the side of the fire, and says he to me ; "Coppie, sit down !" (a new niek-natne for me, which the sequel may explain!) Having slowly filled his old laurel-root pipe with "Kinnifciniqitc" from his spacious jacket-pocket, he soon lit it with a bit of pine, and, giving a couple of whiff's, says he: "Well, Coppie, these are dreadful times I have lived to see." That machine which Lin coln said he would run, has made a plagued sight of trouble. "Now, Coppie, if roti will listen. I will In to give you a full history of that 'Lincoln ma chine,' and the -oad on which it was intended to be run, too, and the reasons why the machine won't work. Rut you must be patient and let i me go back a little. It mav seem a good ways hack to you, child! But I remember when there was no road and no machine, but old King George's—lietter than I mind yesterday." Old Benny then drew up a little closer to tne, and liegnn: "In the year 1777, a company of good men— . wiser and (letter than any I now hear of—de termined to improve on the 'one horse system' , of progress pursued by the monarchial compa nies of the 'Old World.' These men were the true lovers of freedom, and were not selfish, but desired the welfare of their children. Having heard of a beautiful city called I'rosperity, which was built for freemen, and which many companies before had failed to fully reach on account of despots and cruel kings which op posed, and death nnd disease from the pestilen tial miasma of old rotting dynasties, there be ing nothing of the latter lit this new and beau tiful country and only one of the former, who pretended to claim any right to oppose. this company of brave men, boldly undertook the work, and after many hard conflicts with this old King George, finally succeeded in vanquish-* ing him, though after great sncrifico of many l valuable lives, and tho expenditure of much i money. They completed the road to tho city— | still, it was but a temporary structure, a kind j of tram-road which answered their purpose for I a season, and proved that the route was prac ! tieable. This first company was called "The j Confederation." and the road they called "Ar ticles of Confederation." In the course of ■ | few years it was found ncccssnry to have a | more |>ermnnent road, many improvement.', it i was thought, could lie made, and the defe'tr. and weak places of the first road remedied. So a orgcriw of the-mm who Kjmpotmd thsfirV • ; panv, together with other wise men, got lip a new cum|iny, called 'The Union.' This com pany built a grand, substantial Rood, nearly on I the line of the first one, which commanded the 1 admiration and applause of the whole world. ' Ilwas call.il 'THE CONSTITUTION.' In a little while thirteen beautiful cars, differing somewhat in size, but ull nicely adjusted to the track, wore pot upon tho road, to be drawn by ' a grand engine, called 'Equal Rights,' the nsa , tenuis of which hud been wrested from kings and despots, even as l'ar buck as the Runny mode fight, ami all saved up for this purpose. Well, one George Washington, a man iu great ! favor with the company, w:w chosen chict en gineer. Most beautifully and smoothly did tbe ' whole train run under his engineering for eight , years. Engine and cars both keeping the track ; at all times, though some fellows in tin? l'ean* i ivlvania car once got on a little spree , but soon i , got sober. At last the old engineer retired, hav-1 (ing served the company long and well. A new | . engineer was then appointed, one John Adiuns j Iby name. lle did not prove so capable as the ! first. The passengers were somerwlmt alarmed , at one or two daring experiments which he | made. But by the uproar of the people—soino j I ugly contrivances which lit: put on the machine, | 1 were removed, as it was feared they would) cause it to rim olf the track. Tiio company i I appointed another engineer, 1 bonias Jefferson was his name. This man proved himself an 1 admirable engineer, and was fully acquainted with the road. I find my story is getting too I long, and fearing I may weary you," said old I Benny, "I will not follow the history of all tec engineers who so successfully run the train i but 1 suffice it to say, though they differed, somewhat ' in their style of doing things, still all things | went well, most ot the time. Qua', though, I when one old Amlv Jaekson was engine, it, somo I fellows in the South Carolina car, whilst they ' still wanted to run with the train, refused to I pay their share of the expenses. But 'I lid ! Andv' said as long as they were hitched to his ! machine, they should pay tlieir shure ol the I oil— 'by the eternal!' and lie made tlicru be-. have, as Washington did the 'Whiskey Boys.' j Through tho course of years many new ears i were added to the train. It bogamc long and | heavy, numbering some thirty-four ears ; be j si'k." nmro were building; and tn iny feared I that it would some day part from its weight. , Sail, the engine, Equal Rights, was a power ful machine, and tho coupling might have j | proved strong enough. The passengers, Cop iff&fnt along weR together. Rich aktd poor, . j high and low, werg, alward, and sat in the same ; seats. When tho train first started, some of j the passengers in all of the cars (save, maybe, t one) had servants; others had none—just as they . pleased—anil, after a time, tho passengers in | some of the ears put off their servants at way ! stations to shift as best they could, whilst oth- j ers sold their servants to passengers in other | I cars, who wanted them. Still, this made no difference for a long time. As new cars were \ added, the passengers were allow ed to do as! they pleased, and as their fathers had done in j ' this respect. The passengers transacted bui --' ncss with each other by the way, and all seemed ' to be working well. But. alas ! Coppie,"—-the ' old man hero heaved a deep sigh,-'some thirty ' or more years ago, it was whispered thrmigli j out the length of the train, that some ingenious . i Yankees, aided by some of the children of tiib old 'Red Coats,' had invented a new machine by which thev purposed to ilrnw the trai'-. us j- soon as tV could get per - i sion fre • ' a i company soon as this ir - ation w.'-ji .-'U- l jof and tl. designs of these t>!' ~vc disco/• I a deep grumbling arose among 'n passengers particularly in the South car?. • <•..< new 1 giuc was called 'ADLIHON' L. v - * .uildcr.', 1 but many people stud its name would, after a ' time, 1)0 Changed to 'NI.GRO Lv'iALlT\.' I It was constructed, they . aid, on a new prin ciple, railed 'Higher Law —.mine la , j sengers with servants, ihe passengers in the South cars and ninny in tho other cars, to , ' I would not yi. l l to this prohibition, contend: g ' | that the tr.... was made to carry cars . or 1 1 Witbot:. .t . int.?, us the passi ge; might choose. 'I But tw, men, ou -wo different cure, started the dct idea tha' Here was an ' | 'impressible cunjiict' between tho.ie having trr '!fv:iiiis and those having none, and that if the '' passengers would agree to allow tlo more ser 1 vant cars to lie attached, and shut up the ser ' llraiits in the old cars, and Uot lot them spread, llt hat thev would soon die, or the passengers i would be smothered by their strong smelt, and fhat either way, this'irrepressiblc conflict' would hen a mid that d.. cw engine would carry )!h. train right straight to the 'city of Prospe rity." Iu the meantime tho excitement increu- I. \ through the lies and insults of these Yan- I e machine men. Many fist fights occurred ; L -(niv were fired by the 'irrepressible con r: ueu; bitter enmity arose agalft.-t those ■j ... ..d servant;-,, and some innocent, ur.;ir;ued (•.:( ore killed in tho Virginia cftr by the •m.'. . New jlachir. men, and many pi-onii n ; ■ :gerljii ottier cars, who should have , .. . ith the friends of the rtrt in the WHOLE MEMBER, 50.13 VOL, 6 NO 39. Virginia car, responded Amen ! to the deed. | Well, through the cunning of two crafty men— | one Abe Lincoln and another fellow named Se ward—tho very men who started tho idea of the 'irrepressible conflict' —the passengers were per suaded to try the new machine, though a ma jority ol more than a million of the passengers opposed it. Yet as their votes were divided— by some rule of the Road—they lmd to submit and tho new machine was brought out with this same Abo Lincoln as Engmeer. N'ow, in accordance with the threats and predictions of many of the passengers, eleven of the ears, whose passengers carried servants, were cut loose 'from the train, and were taken otf by a sidu.g called 'Reserved Rights,' which siding, thf'j say, some of the builders of the road pointed out to them, and that it was part of an old wort made bv one Thomas Jefferson, called the 'Declara tion of Independence,' a work that was made | before the Koad. But many persona never could see t his, uor believe that such a siding vlisted. Though it is said it was talked about ; b■' the company who made the road, some , wanting it destroyed, others opposing this i ami so the siding was left just re it was before the New Road was built. Well, Coppie, wlieth -1 cr Jalfcrson intended his work to be used in our j day us- not, I can't say. But I know he hoped ] it wouldn't, and I wish these old eyes had nev er beheld the parting of the train. But they | went off, some how, and took the ears with them, ami I now hear they have formed a new Compauy called the SOU IJIEKN COJil 1 LIT ERACY, and that they purpose trying to build a Road of their own to the City of Prosperity, i "Well, when this Abe Lincoln discovered, that many of the ears had been uncoupled, from those unwilliugly attached to his new machine, he caused to be raised a great cry in the remain ing cars about the dismemberment of the train. The long and beautiful train, he well knew, was the pride and glory of all the passengers, and they were jealous, too, of a beautiful flag which • the passengers happened to tear down when they uncoupled their cars. This flag had a star for every car tuid he well knew the great mass of the people did not want a car uncoupled or a j ' star taken from that flag, no, not even those who \ opposed must bitterly the new machine. l>ut, Coppie, I aui't help' but think that many of the advocates and some of tho builders ot that ma chine desired this; for one has admitted that for | nineteen years he struggled to accomplish it.— i Well, to divert their attention from this new 1 machine, lest they might at once discover its ! MMt of Jilness to the old tract, and then, uiay 1 be, fall on him and tho builders and owners ol the machine, Abe Lincoln let off the steam at . a great rate, and au awful fizzing, bellowing, ! screeching and roaring was heard—flfes and ' drums were played—men who hail once carried lamps through the train on sticks, in great com ! panics, to induce the people by their show and I parade to try the New Engine, now put ou a ' kind of uniforms and drummed up the pebple into companies; but the most of these fellows j themselves after they had drummed Up the peo j pie, hiil themselves, excepting those who want ; ed to take advantage of the fire to get new clothes, and those who wanted big titles. But though many good men and women, too, wore deceived and with pure motives were now willing to run with Abe's machine, believing they were doing God service, still insiny other good people snid that though they had nut seen the new machine, they were sure tho steam front it did not smell list thnt which jscd to coinc from the Old E qnal '.V. • ■ .V.whine. Tltcy, at the risk of be ing :nl names, ebntended that it ft—' '* • by of the uproar nr v-- i r... •.j T .at t!'t 'king of the Trul. • • jn.. . - dov/ti os *.ne h'h,, most of the -fit I ver. -twk to believe that those who cut 1 the v_ars w.re the cause of all the trouble, r.n<; great com '.res composed of many g'v-xJ nnd many bad pf'-ple, and a groat many, ;-J, of thoSe who were opposed to the new machine were formed and sent after the uncoupled cars to endeavor to bring them back. ' 1 ■" ",t. was contended that the great mass of the people on those cars did noLwish them cut loose. It was first (aid that it would be an easy job nnd that surely 20,00(1,000 could out-pull and whip 11- 000,000 besides that the majority of these 11- 000,000 would join in and help back with the cars. But many did not believe this. They did not Iwlieva they would cor sent to follow the New Machine and that if they would not of their own accord, it would only mnko the mat ter worse, to try to force theni. Besides it would be an uphill business to do so, as they had the advantage of the grade." ".Man)' persons, too, believed flipt the whole cause of the trouble was the New Machine, nnd for this reason did not go warring after the oth er ears." "Well, Coppie, for two years the passengers of the dismcinbarcd train have Iktii engaged in deadly conflict, tlie only result being great destruction t t.-e lives and property of both. In the nv i ; . the e'.'nrh froiu the Lincoln Machine i . ■ u stroe,: r an! stronger, so that nil wi:■■) 1.1. d or ; :s.,.s cannot lielp but admit . ... g ) I rvo learned to to-M • • > hetfsti.se:odurs .c ■> i. lat / inquisitive ! peop o not ■... .ty .-r . .? •.< .lie.', all tne time, : or, • - ti. / ufle;on", iiiiti at great risk of lic- n £ . ..-vo . en examining closely Abe's |Ne w 1 ■. and bis way of working it. They have La: I •'• certainty, that it is a narrow, contruot. 1 Jiubug, made to run only on a thirl - ing roati culied tho Underground road, and for this reason no Ughts nre used to run it—and ull employed about it seem blind us moles; and further that they do not expect nor care to pet the other cars liaek, but have two grand ideas; first to rob tho company and passengers of their property and little effects, to their own private advantage, and secondly, carry on the old.busi ness of the Underground Company op a gigan tic scale. But, Coppie, if many yvhb have gone out with patriotic motives, after the other ears, thould live to got l ack and find tlieir places ta- Rttttß of ftbotrtiflina. One Square, three mttkinr lets, . . . . , ~51.33 One Sijnre,efh additional insert ien less thn three months ye 3 *ow. 6 1 tut One square ........ $j uo $4 00 $f bit Two square* 4 {ft 300 000 Three square* JOO 700 13 00 f Column ........ uo { Column ........ 80* 13 0% 20 on 4 Column 13 00 18 <>6 3i| do On* Column ... . . in 00 30 80 60 AO Administrators' and Executor*' notice* S3.J, Aji uitorv' notice* SI.OO, if onder 10 lite*. tp'.OO It more than * (quire and leu than 30 line*. Kuy, 01.85, if but one bead ia advertised, 35 cents for every additional head. The spree occupied by ten lines of this viz* tn type rounf* one square. All fractions of a square under five lines will be measured as'a half square end all over Ave lines is a lull square. All leje, dvertisements will be charged to the person hal.4 jug them in. i ken up with these blacks that were servants on j the run-o'J cars, I think another big trouble j will cemtjenie. Hut so many have been killed I ofi; that they now say, these blacks will bu Deed ed in their stead. Dear me! Coppie, 1 never thought wo would prefer blacks to whites!— Many persons who have licen pointing to this true cause ot' our troubles, ami telliug only the truth about this Yankee Machine, have been gngge.l, imprisoned, culled traitors and threaten ed with neck str ings of h< tap. At first it was denied that the Machine would nut fit the track.' Hut that fact has become so plain that it is no longer disputed. And now, Coppie, as it is nearly iny bed time, I will finish my story in a few words. Abraham, the engineer, and bis men, will not agree to discard the Machine.— They will not acknowledge thut it ran never haul the train, but contend that whilst they will not agree to alter the machine to lit tlio old Constitution track, your fa fliers made, that the old trad must be attend to suit the Machine, and they must then have all the curs likewise altered, the ends knocked out, tho couplings xccldf. d and rutted and alt combined into one Jig Car. Then, the running gears, too, must all be cut down to suit the Negro Equality Engine, for suue My theao letters aye already painted on one side of it. T his, Coppie, is what they arc now aiming at, and this is what the people differ about.— And wo who uru in favor of the old Ciqifer Hotter engine of Washington are now ca lied Copperheads. There is only one way, my boy! to bring about peace and harmony. 2'mow a rule the l'nnkte Mac.tine and discharge tho engi neer aud all bis hands, and gut back the old "Equal Bights Engine," then, after a time, the other company when they become satisfied that all is safe, may come back and link with us.— This you must endeavor to do peacefully and according to tho rules of the Hood, if they wilt let you. This is indispensable to Itnrmony and safety, whether tho other ears comeback ornot. 1 lecause this Lincoln Machine—no mutter how far you agree to the altering of the road, will never be able to carry the remaining cars over the Elective Franchise Trestle. For whilst God has decreed that nhritually, all men are equal and in this sense lie is no respecter of pcrsous, socially I find He ackuowledges dis tinctions, us you will find by reading Ist Timo thy, ti chapter, aad iu many other parte of ilia Word. Hoping, Coppie, that you may ever re member this story of old lieu. Bannister, and that we may meet in a better World, where all- will find Prosperity, 1 bid you good night." And the old man with tho aid of his two canes tottered to his bod. BUTTERNUTS. TICKED W CM)EK OCR OWN TREE. Xomenu, Going to SAoie that the Administration u the Government. jf this Administration is the Government, vt-hy didn't it die with Gen. Harrison, or Gen. Taylor? Wo suppose tho Government was eut with u razor the other day when Mr. Seward eut bis hand. If Lincoln should take the diurhom, the Government would have to swallow burnt bran dy or some other astringent to regulate its bow els. * , If Lincoln should get the rheumatism, the Government would have to go on crutches. When Chase takes snutf, the Government has to sneeze. When Welles gave his fat contract to Morgan; it was a lirot her-iu-law of the Government wliom extended Lvor to. Ti.ero is a rumor that the Government drinks tea out 01' a bottle. We don't believe the, ru mor, so l'ar rs it relates to tea. The Gov niuent, lay skiiitljl and successful strategy, .(lived unexjiet.raAly in Washington dressed in a beautiful Sr 'tell n' .id. Tho Government was lies" to say that-it had not itudied tho tariii ' intended to do SO, as *00); US it h'td icliu The Government is abm -'t high, has large feet and lank jaws, a: '• mnul rails when it was young. When Ilalleck hit Stain a Government got a black eye.— (xxjan (' Uiuv) GaectU. WESTERN VIRGINIA. The final count on tho amended Constitution of West Virginia sums up in (lie thirty-eight counties heard from 28, 321 for the i.merid'n.'ht and 572 against it. These figures include 7.- 828 votes given by tho soldiers, of whom fi,- 1 (jf were within the 1 imits of the so-called State, and 1,729 put of those limits. The coun ties of Calhoun, Greenbrier, Logan, McDowell, Mercer, I"uitas, l'eleigh, Webster and Wyoming read no returns. And this is si led an election! 1 -e are. the Kansas shri 1 ers ? Men voting unde: tiress, with soldiers behind them, and the provo carslml within halting distance. And ten eniii counties not voting at all 1 Again, we ask, wi/-• are the Kansas siirakers! .Is there ah rA hat the Ju'cobins and Alwlitionisls ovorchar > i.e Democrats that this Administration i ' i's million* lure .; perpetrn ted and exled in a ten-fold de gree * When is aba purity of the G relive franc;. ae, that these hypocrites have been talk ing about, ar; 1 seheiniiig about, when they wire presenting .-Ibruhum Lincoln astheofiibmliuiant of all the . w honest, sincere, and truthful iu man? Why, Mr. Lincoln and 1- } shrickors would prefer to have no election at all—no press to tell the truth to the people no-individual opinion, boldly expressed, that confliets wiih their own. Happily the iqaak la aow torn from their faces—tho wolves in sheep's c! thing aro recognized, and will b" avoided .u the future.— Age. Cj-Turk ;/ has laßt issued posioga ta ipj* having long ' "i the only Power in Europe that has not u.-s. i them, the Mahometan rolHgton ihtordlctmg tho r:.pK sei.Ve on W tho face ; >ersori