The Bedford gazette. (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, September 13, 1861, Image 1

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    IOH IIE
NEW SERIES.
THE BEDFORD GAZETTE
If PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY MORNING BY
Bl B. F. MEYERS,
At the fallowing terms, to wit:
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E?"The courts have decided that persons are ac
countable for the subscription price of newspa
pers, if they take them from the post office, wheth
er r hey subscribe for them, or not.
RATES OF CHARGES FOR ADVER
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Table and figure work double price. Auditor's
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LETTER OF SENATOR DOUGLAS-
The following letter purporting lo have been
written by Hon. S. A. Douglas, a short time
previous to ins death, it going the rounds of
the press. We do not vouch lor its authentici
ty, but'give it as it comes to us. It will be
teen that the lamented Senator takes much the
tarre position that Democrats do everywhere,
viz: That we should sustain the Government as
Democrats. What Mr. Douglat would have
said had he lived to witness the misdeeds of the
Administration, is not at all foreshadowed in
this fetter.— Ed Gazette.
CHICAGO, May 10, ISGI.
My, Dear Sir Deing deprived of the use of
my arms for the present by a severe attack ol
the Rheumatism, lam compelled lo avail my
self of'the services of an amanuensis, in reply
to your two letters.
It seems that some, of my friends art unable
to comprehend the difference between argu
ments used in favor of an tyuilabl e comprom
ise with the hope of averting the hprrots of
wur, and those urged in support ol the Govern
ment and flag of our country, when war is be
ing waged against the United States with the
avowed purpose of producing a permanent
disruption of the Union, and a total des
truction of the Government.
All hope of Compromise with the Cotton
States was abandoned when they assumed the
position that the separation of the Union was
complete and final, and that they would never
consent to the re-construction in any contin
gency—not even if we were to furnish them
with a blank sheet of paper and permit them
to inscribe their own terms.
Still the hope was cherished I hat reasonable
and satisfactory terms ol adjustment could be
agreed upon with Tennessee, .North Carolina
and the border States, arid that whatever terms
would prove satisfactory to these loyal States
would create a Union party in the cotton
states which would be powerful enough at the
ballotbox to destroy the revolutionary Govern
ment, and bring those States back into the Un
ion by the voice ol their people. This hope
was cherished by the Union men North and
and South, and was never abandoned until ac
tual war was levied at Chaileston and the au-
thoritative announcement made by the revolu
tionary government Montgomery, that the
tecejsion flag should be planted upon the walls
oh the Capitol at Washington, and a proclama
tion issued inviting the pirules of the world
to prey upon the Commerce of the United
Stalet.
These startling facts, in connection with the
boastful announcement that the lavages ol war
and carnage should be quickly transferpd from
the cotton fields of the South to the wheal
and coin fields of the North, furnish conclusive
endence that it was the fixed purpose of Se
cessionists utterly to destroy the government of
ortr fathers and obliterate the United Stales
from the map of the world.
In view of this state of facts there was but
one path of duty left to patriotism. It was
not a party question involving pol/cy; it was
a question of government or no government,
country or no country, and hence it became
the imperative duty of the Union man,of every
friend of constitutional liberty, to rally to the
support of out common country, its government
and flag, as the only means of checking the
piogress of revolution and preserving the Un
ion of the States.
i am unable to answer your questions in res
pect to the policy of Mr. Lincoln and
I am not in thejr confidence, as you and the
whole country ought to be aware. lam neith
er the supporter of the partisan polic no: the
apologist of the administration. My previous
relations to them remain unchanged ; but I trust
'he time will never come when I shall not be
willing to make any ceedful sacrifice of peisonal
feeling and party policy tor the honor and in
tegrity of the country. I know of no mode in
which a loyal citizen may so well demonstrate
his devotion to his country as by sustaining the
dag, the Constitution, the Union, under all cir
cumstances, and under every administration,
regardless of party politics,'against all assailants
af home and abroad. The course of Clay and
Webster towards the administration of Jackson,
in the days of nullification, presents a noble
•nd worthy example for all true patriots. At
the very moment when that fearful ciisis was
precipitated upon the country, partisan strife
between Whigs and Democrats was quite as
Oitter and relentless as now between Democrats
and Republicans.
The guff which separated party leaders in
ui3st days was quite as broad and deep as that
Hhich now separates the Democracy from the
I3ebfm v i> sHlfe fßmtiie.
Republicans. " But the moment an eneinv
rose in our midst, plotting the dismemberment
of the Union and the destruction of the govern
ment, the voice of partisan strife was hushed
in patriotic silence." One of the brightest chap
ters in the history of our country will record
the fact that during this eventful period the
great leaders of the opposition, "sinking the
partisan in the patriot," rushed to the support
of the Government, and became its ablest and
bravest defenders against all assailants until the
conspiracy was crushed and abandoned, when
thry resumed their former positions as party
leaders upon public issues.
These acts of public devotion have never
been deemed evidences of infidelity or political
treachery, on the part of Clay and Webster, to
the principles and organization of the old Whig
party. Nor have I any apprehension that the
firm and unanimous support which the Demo
cratic leaders and masses are now giving to the
Constitution and the Union will ever be deem
ed evidence of infidelity Jo Democratic princi
ples, or a want of loyalty to the organization
and creed of the Democratic party. If we hope
to regain and perpetuate the ascendancy of
our party, we should never forget that a man
cannot be a true Democrat unless he is a loyal
patriot.
With the sincere hope that these my consci
entous convictions, may coincide with those of
my Irirnds, I am, truly, yours,
STEPHEN A. DOUUEAS.
To Virgil Hickox, Es'i-.C'liairroar. State Dem
ocratic Committee.
SAILING UNDER FALSE COLORS !
Ihe York Gazette says: the old ship "Re
publican," weather-beaten, leaky and drilted
upon the shoals by the political storms through
which she has lately sailed, is repainted, re
caulked, the old name, "Union," painted in
large letters on all her sides, and honest Dem
ocrats invited on board to assist in again get
ting her off the shoals and breakers, upon
which her Sectional crew has wrecked her.
To more easily deceive Democrats and Union
men, the old torn and faded flag of Republi
canism is temporarily hauled down, and a
"bran new" flag with "Uoion" as its motto,
run up. But all this will not save the concern
from being dashed to pieces. The gallant
Democracy, who have successfully guided the
"good ship Democracy" over many a stormy
sea, are not so easily deceived. Through the
thin painting, that old name "Republican" still
is visible, and the new name"Union" can't
cover it. The old hulk still leaks,—the new
Jlaq floats over the old crew , and the old pilots
who have run her upon the breakers and shoals
are still at the wheel. Now and then one
who has piofessed Democracy and long sym
pathized secretly and openly with the old
crew, distrustfully steps on board, and is wel
comed with cordiality; but the more wise and
patriotic ol the Republican crew,ever fearful of
their safety, are fully assured of their destruc
tion when such seamen are shipped, and im
mediately a score of Republicans desert. They
have less hope of their safety in such company,
and, "like rats desert the sinking ship," new
name, new jlaq and all. Day by day the crew
"glows small by degrees and beautifully less."
We warn Democrats not to ship on the con
cern.—Her new helmsmen, her new name,
new flag and all, won't save her. The fate ©f
the Petrel will be her's. A Democratic broad
side will scatter h*r timbers ovar the waters.
She is bound Jo go down, and her crew with
her.
Party caucuses, party tricks of all kinds,
j and all the efforts of interested party leaders,
will prove of no avail. Republicanism under
! every name is doomed, and the sooner these
j busy leaders realize the fact, the better for
themselves and all concerned. The Democrat
] ic party in York county is stronger to-day
1 than ever before- The young and gallant
spirits of the part}", and the well tried veterans,
, are aroused. Democrats who have not voted
for years, will rush to the rescue of our country;
■deceived .Republicans, by hundreds, will join
their Democratic brethern in the glorious cause
of the Union. No false flag is carried by the
Democracy. The old Union flag stilt waves
there. Let all true patriots rally under its sa
cred folds.
WHAT CONSTITUTES TREASON-
Judge CATRON, of the U. S. Supreme Court,
i in a recent charge to the Grand Jury, in St.
Louis, laid down explicitly the following prop
ositions as the law of the land :
1. That to constitute treason, there must be
treasonable intent, as well as a treasonable
overt act; and in order to make out treasonable
intent and overt act, the party accused must
have been leagued in a conspiracy to over
throw the Government.
2. That there are certain constitutional
guaranties which tne passion or the frenzy ol
the hour cannot touch, and ainongthem is the
right of expression and discussion and the free
dom of the press.
3. That no sentiment, however hostile,
can be held to be treasonable.
4. That the right ol every citizen to bear
arms is an inalienable right that cannot be in
fringed: and the fact of a citizen having arms,
without being in league with a hostile force,
was not an act for which his liberty could be
abridged.
5. That it is the duty of the grand jury to
protect both thp citizen and the Government,
and that they should not, on account of any
fear, favor or affection, shrink from the dis
charge of that duty. As an arm of the Gov
ernment, it is theirs to inquire info all offences
brought to their knowledge, and bring to the bar
of the United States Court ail who have been
guilty of unlawfully uniting against the Gov
ernment and the laws of the land.
(Er~To tell if you love a girl—have some
tallow headed chap go to see her.
BEDFORD, PA., FRIDAY MORNING, SEPTEMBER 13, IB6L
FREEDOM OF SPEECH, &C.
Notwithstanding the fact that the Constitu
tion of the United States is regarded as an ob
solete idea by some ot the whipper snappers ol
the Republican party, as well as their Abolition
leaders in this vicinity, it is well occasionally
to refer to the principles and landmarks estab
lished by that ancient document lor the obser
vance of the people and their government.—
Among the prerogatives explicitly guaranteed
land which is held sacred even in monarclnal
England) is the freedom of speech and of the
press—a right which, lor the first lime in sixty
years, is now sought to be. and is, trampled un
der foot by Abolition mobs. The Constitution
provides as follows :
"Congress shall make no law respecting an
establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free
exercise thereof,or ABRIDGING THE FREE
DOM OF SPEECH OR OF THE PRESS, or
the right of the people peaceafly to assemble
and to petition the Government for a redress ol
grievances."— Constitution of the United States
•/' America.
Judge A. G. Miller, of the United States Dis
trict Court ol Wisconsin, a position which he
has ably filled for many years, in a late charge
to fhe Milwaukie Grand Jury, tlearly defined
the law and the invariable usage of the Courts
of this country in regard to these subjects. It
may not be out of place for us to state that
Judge Miller is a native ol Cumberland Coun
ty, in this State, was raised and educated in
Carlisle, from whence he emigrated to Wiscon
sin some thirty-five years ago, and has for a
long time sustained the reputation of a learned,
able and honest Jurist. In his charge, he
says
"Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty, and
"the free communication of thoughts and opin
ions is one of the invaluable rights of man, sub
ject to responsibility for its abuse." These
principles are engrafted into our very nature as
tree American citizens. I niean the liberty of
the press and free discussion among men, upon
all subjects relative to their duties and their
rights as free citizens ; but no licentiousness of
the piess and factious and scuriilous abuse and
misrepresentation of men in places of public
trust, which is the bane of free governments.
In this time of excitement, and disposition to
cast off restraints of law, some men, under the
, diguiseof extieme love of country, may be dis
posed to indulge their envy, hatred, malice and
ill-wll toward others probably much more wor
thy and patriotic than themselves. Men may \
assume a standard of patriotism and loyalty for
I themselves, but they cannot be permitted to
pronounce other men traitors who do not, in
their opinion, come up to that standard. The
Constitution and Laws of the United States de
fine the crime of treason ; and by which every
j man is to be tried. There is no propriety in
this free xN'orth, where every man is loyal to
the Government, and where we hold no person
in bondage, of inaugurating a system ol secret
j police. In times of excitement, as men are
more apt to be zealous than wise, we should
keep before us the example of France, when
the reign ot terror became so intolerable that
all classes of men were glad to seek refuge un
der a military despot. In this country it is
proper and perhaps necessary that there should
be a variety of sentiment upon every subject of
governmental policy. Here, wheie the voice
of the people rules the nation, free discussion is
necessary and proper for public instruction.—
From the Declaration of Independence to the
present day there has not been one g'eat prin
j ciple of policy established without lree, open
and manly discussion, and it is not probable
that there ever will be, so long as the people
continue to be free citizens under a Constituv
tional form of Government. Congress is pro
hibited by the Constitution from passing any
law abridging the freedom of speech or of the
press. Men at this time of excitement thou Id
avoid personal crimination and recrimination."
A STORY OF GEN. MoCLELLAN-
The Washington correspondent of the Phila
delphia Inquirer tells this story of General Mc-
Clellan :
"General McClellan is in the habit of riding
around occasionally in citiifrn's dress, accompa
nied by few of his staff. A few days ago he
was walking through one of the encampments,
across the Potomac, and passing the rear of the
tents he saw a bucket ol coffee standing near a
fire. He asked what it was, and one of the
soldiers said "coffee." "It looks more like
slops," he replied. "Oh," said the soldier, "it
is not fit to drink, but we have to put up with
it, and our other food is not a bit better." "Oh,
our Quartermaster is drunksmost of the time,
and when he is not he is studying how to
cheat." McClellan passed on, and seeing more
evidence of the dirty and slovenly manner in
which the Quartermaster conducted his opera
tions in his tent, he accosted him with the re
mark that the men were complaining of bad
treatment from him. Quartermaster flew into
a passion, and swore it was none of his business,
and he had belter not come sneaking around
trying to make mischief. McClellan answered
him, telling him he had better be cautious how
he talked. Quartermaster replied, "who are
you, that you assume so much apparent author
ity 1" "1 am George B. McClellan and you can
pack up your traps and leave !" The Quarter
master wasstiuck dumb, and McClellan turned
and left him. That evening the Quartermaster
left to the tune of the "Rogue's March," play
ed by some of the boys who had got wind of it,
They now have a Quartermaster who does not
get "drunk and cheat," and that regiment would
risk their lives at (he cannon's mouth for (he
man who does care how the men are provided
for.
"The story has been circulated around some
of the camps, and the officers are now always
on the look-out for the General, and ot course 1
do not have too much lying around loose."
live happy—mind your business. i
Freedom of Thought and Opinion.
HOW DOES IT LOOK.
On the 18th day ol February, 1859, the Pres
ident of the United States transmitted to Con
gress a message urging the importance ol legis
lative action for the protection of American
citizens and their property while in transit
across the Isthmus, beiween our Atlantic and
Pacific possessions, and to authorize the Presi
dent to employ the land and naval forces of the
United States to protect the lives and property
of American citizens from lawless violence
while upon this route. In this message the
President does not name any sum that would
be required (o carry out this measure, nor did
he propose to transcend his constitutional pow
er in any respect. He simply stated that upon
a " sudden emergency," when the lives and
property of our citizens were in danger, he
might in that case " direct any armed force in
the vicinity to march to their relief." Noth
ing more was asked for in this law than what
qvery loyal citizen would pronounce for the
interest and honor of the whole country ; yet
the message had no sooner made its appearance
than the entire Republican party set up a howl
over it. There was no talk then about " sus•
1 taining the Government ." That might go to
sticks lor all they cared, and the lives and prop
ert A'f our citizens with it, so that they could
be in their opposition to the acts of
the National Administratition. When this
message of the President appeared, the Re
paM-_n papers, all over the country, publish
ed it with the following headings in the largest
type, as the Republican style of ushering in a
Government message in February, 1859. See
Republican papers of that date :
THE PRESIDENT HAS ASKED FOR
THIRTY MILLIONS!
HE NOW SEEKS THE SWORD!!
THE CO~\~STITUTION TO EE SET
ASIDE! ! !
Miall the President be made King T
FAREWELL TO REPUBLICAN GOVERN
MENT IF CONGRESS ACCEDES TO
THE DEMANDS OF TEE OLD
FEDERALIST.
Suppose a Democratic paper at this day was
to publish one oi Lincoln's war messages, with
a heading of a similar character, there is not a
Republican paper in all the North but would
cry out with its loudest bellow, suppress the
paptr and arrest the traitor lt would be
but right and consistent that these loud-mouth
ed Union brawlers, who go in all of a sudden
lor sustaining National Administrations, give
us an analysis of their feelings when the above
disloyal sentiments appeared ! Did they flare
up into a high state of excitement and splurge
about " treason and traitors" and invoke " mob
violence," and all that, or did they counive at
the treason because a Democratic President was
at the head of the. Government ? We ra'her
suspect the latter was the course they pursued,
for they weie never known to let an opportu
nity slip to embarrass the Government and
bring it into disgrace and dishonor while under
Democratic rule. We will now teach them a
lesson, that they never practised, by showing
them that the Democracy will stand by the
Government no matter who administers it, and
will give it all the support in their power to
restore the Union and bring back the blessings 1
ol peace to our unhappy and ruined country.—
Valley Spirit.
THE TRUE WAV TO FORM A UNION
PARTY-
The Louisville, Ky., Democrat, edited by
Col HARNEY, who led on the Union ticket
which so signally triumphed over Secession
ism at the late election there, thus points out
the only way in which a successful union of
political parties for the restoration of the Union
can be formed. "Abolitionism and Secession
ist!! must be buried in the same political grave,"
says the Democrat. That's the talk! And
while the Democracy of the North are ready to
contribute of their men and money, more than
their share to answer the requirements of Gov
ernment to reclaim ana protect public proper
ty, let them wage ceaseless war against North
ern sectionalism, at the pallot box, as they al
ways have done in days gone by. The Dem
ocrat says :
"The Democracy of New York refuse lo
unite with the .Republicans in political action,
although the latter made an overture tor that
purpose. It is certainly desirable that party
strife should cease everywhere, except on the
issues involving the salvation of the country ;
but the way to effect it is not by a union of in
congruous elements that are entirely antag
onistic to each other. It would, perhaps, be
thought preposterous, but we, nevertheless, sug
gest it, that the Republicans disband and sup
port the Democratic candidates. They have
made the experiment of a purely sectional par
ty, and they see its lruts. It threatens to cost
them their country. They can't have a Un
ion witli sectional denomination. No matter
how wisely and justly a sectional party may
rule, its domination is itsell the vice that a
country will endure. All men are not phil
osophers, and the millenium has not come yet.
Even up and down town boys have ceased to
wrangle and fight. The present contest is re
duced to just about such a fight. No rights are
involved! you can't get a secessionist to go back
lo the original cause of complaint. They are
too insignificant before the startling magnitude
of the contest, and the immense sacrifices they
require. It is a blind, wicked, suicidal war of
sections, with no rational basis, except blind
hate. A statesman must despise the puerility
of the contest, whilst he finds in the uatureof
man enough to account for it.
This Republican party is organized ar.d built
up on the antagonism of sections, and whiUt it
lives, the animositp its existence engenders will
not die. It discredised the Union-savers those
who sounded the alarm of dangers ahead.
They derided the cry of wolf, forgetting that
in the fable the wolf did come at iats. The
first step to a restoration of the Union is a dis
persion of the Republican party, a disorgani
zation ot the whole concern, a repudiation of
the basis of its existence. Perhaps an entire
breaking up of parties in the North might in
the end answer the purpose; but a union with
the dominant party there would be taken at
the South as an acquiescence on the part ot
fhe majority. The whole north would be writ
ten down enemies. That the Union party
believe. Its existence costs the country too
much, and the sooner it begin to pass away
the sooner will the calamities of war cease.
Do they expert one section of this Union to
dominate over the other at discretion, and that
upon principles that cause all the hatred and
animosity of the other? We submit no apolo
gy for this wicked effort in the South to de
stroy the Government. We grant the necessity
of suppressing it; but Abolitionism that has
produced it, must also be suppressed. Aboli
j iion'sm and Svcessionism must be buried in ths
same political grave. The patriot flrho loves
his country must consent to sacrifice; them
both. Seward said "parties, platforms and
men must be sacrificed to the Union," and he
told the truth that once. The Union men ol
the South have made the sacrifice. We have
given up parties, and separated from old party
friends. We have given old creeds and plat
forms to the winds to save a coun'rv and free
institutions. The people Noith must make the
same sacrifice, no matter under what name
I hey go. Whilst we acknowledge the neces
sity, this sectional antagonism must be
smothered out and buried. We want now a
Union party North and South, composed of men
ready to sacrifice all, except the cardinal doc
trines of free insititutions, to the one object—
Ihe preservation ol the Union !"
Will those ofour Northern Republican news
papers whieh have so loudly exulted over the
election of Col HARNEY, and the success of the
Union ticket in Kentucky, republish his views,
rs given above ?
MR- VVILLUT VISITS THE ARMY HOS
PITAL
In bis last letter to the Home Journal, Mr.
Willis describes the army hospitals as follows :
" I was fortunate enough to see the interior
of one of these hospitals, in a trip to Alexandria
the other day, my 'sponsors' being three mem
bers of the 'Sanitary Commission,' who were on
one of their visits of inquiry—Mr. Olmstead,
Dr. Van Buren and Dr. Agnew. With three
such companions, a day anywhere could scarce
be otherwise than interesting, and so was this to
me ; but a faithful description of it would be
too painful for print. Omitting, therefore,
some of the more harrowing scenes in the inte
rior of the hospital, instructive as they were to
my own unpracticed eyes, let me touch upon
one or two of the other points in our visit and
excursion.
41 In one room of fifteen or twenty bedi and
patient* my medical friends had examined the
stump of a young man'i right a r nr., which had
been amputated the day before, and, as they
pasted on, I could not help asking a question
or two of one whose cost of 'fighting for his
country' had been so great. He was apparent
ly about twenty-two years of age, and really
excessively handsoxie—and there he lay help
lessly disfigured and disabled for the remainder
of his life ! What was to repay the youthful
cripple—what to repay the wile or sweetheart
at home—for this dread calamity ?
"He was cheerful under it, however. Pro
vidence surely 'tempers the wind to the shorn
lamb.' I could not but wonder at the quiet
resignation with which he told me the story of
receiving his wound. It appears that his regi
ment (his name was Robert Steens, of Min
nesota,) was led into an ambuscade ; and, after
their first fire, found themselves with unloaded
muskel3 only twenty or twenty-five Jeet from a
company of riflemen, who bad suddenly started
up, and who, of course, fired deliberately—one
ol their rifle balls shattering the bone ol his
right arm. The pain was trifling, something
like a boy's smart blow with a stick. The reg
iment retreated, and he with them ; but, begin
ning to lose strength with the loss of blood, he
lay down by the roadside and there fainted—
brought to afterward, by one of the army am
bulances. It is a short story, but it tells of the
spoiling of a whole human life.
" In this same ward I could not help noticing
the very attractive features and expression of
one of the nurses, who seemed especially zeal
ous in her calling. On inquiry, I found it was
a Mrs. Foster, who had followed her husband's
regiment to the war, and whose sevrices had
been found inestimable in the hospital since the
battle. Miss Dix, finding her there, after a day
or two, had objected fo her as too handsome for
the position , but there had been such a unive sal
protest among the patients against her with
drawal, that the authorities had allowed her to
remain ; and she is now quite the favorite nurse
of the establishment. Dressed in a dark color
ed calico, loose gown, with Iter short-cut black
hair fastened back by a round comb, and without
any ornament whatever, she moved about a
mong the sufferers, a 'ministering spirit' indeed!
It was quite evident that she was a woman of
unusual tact and natural mental superiority. I
wish she could have a 'degree' conlerred upon
her, by and by !
This hospital at Alexander occupied a large
building; which was formerly a boys' academy
situated very near to the old vine-covered
church where George Washington used to wor
ship. It is the airiest and cleanest portion of
the town, and the arrangements for exercise in
the yard of the establishment are eagerly made
use of by the convalescent soldiers. A large
teat in the rear accommodated the scrofulous
portion of the patients. The only man w
seemed to be suffering much pain, at the mo
ment, was a poor fellow whose face had been
WHOLE XUJVIBEII, 8971.
half carried away by a oaonon ball, and he waa
walking about with both hands upon bis ban
daged jaws, in great agony. It is a pit) that
the stopping of the pain will not be the end of
his misfortune!
OUR FAT CONTRIBUTOR IN THE
HOME GUARD.
The moment the flag was threatened, large
bodies of men were called upon to rally in TtS
defense. Being a large-bodied man, I rallied,
and enrolled myself with the Home Guard.
The drill is very severe on me this hot weather,
although I am constantly allowed an attendant
with a fan and a pitcher of ice water.
I am constantly reminded that one of the
first requirements of a soldier is to throw out
his chrst and draw in his stomach. Having
been burned out several times whilt occupying
rooms in an attic, I have had considerable prac
tice in throwing out my chest , but by what sys
tem of practice could I ever hope to draw in my
stomach t I can't "dress up"—it's no use try
ing. If my vest buttons aic in line lam far
in the rear, and if I toe the mark a fearful bulge
indicates my position. (There is no room for
argument in regard to my sentiments—every
body can see at a glance just where I stand.)
One evening we had a new drill-sergeant who
was near-sighted. Running his eye down the
line, he exclaimed sharply :
" What is that man doing in the ranks with
a bass drum 1"
He pointed at me, but I hadn't any drum—
it was the surplus stomach that I couldn't draw
in.
I am the but of numberless jokes, as you may
well suppose. They have got a story in the
Guards that when I first heard the command,
" Order arms!" I dropped my musket, and
taking out my note-book began to draw an or
der on the Governor for what arms I wanted.
They say I ordered a Winans steam gun, with
a pair of Dahlgreen howitzers for side arms.—
Base fabricators ! My ambition never extend
ed beyond a rifled cannon, and they knew it.
Although in respect to size I belong to the
" heavies," my preference is for the light in
fantry service. My knapsack is marked light
infantry. One evening the spectators seemed
convulsed about something, and my comrades
tittered by platoons whenever my back was
turned. It was all a mystery to me until I
laid off my knapsack. Some wretch had erased
the two final letters, and I had been parading
all the evening labeled ' LIGHT INFANT !" Th
above is one of the thousand annoyances to
which I am subjected, and nothing but my con
fuming patriotism could ever induce me to sub
mit to it. I rallied at the call of my country,
and am not to be put out by the rallying of my
comrades.
1 overheard a spectator inquire of the drill
sergeant one day :
" Do you drill the whole of him at once f
" No," he returned, in an awful whisper, "/
drill him by squads
1 would have drilled bim if I bad had a bayo
net."
Specifications have been published in regard
to my uniform, and contractors advertised for.
The making will be let out to the lowest res
ponsible bidder. In case the Guards are order
ed to take the field, a special commissary will
be detailed to supply my rations. This reminds
me of a harrowing iucidcnt. On last drill
night, an old farmer, vho dropped in to see us
drill, took me aside, and said be wanted to sell
me a yoke of powerful oxen.
" My ancient agriculturist," said I, smiting
at his simplicity, " I have no use for oxen.*
" Perhaps not at present," quoth he, ' but it
you go to war you will want them."
"For what," said T, considerably annoyed.
" You will want 'em to draw yoar rations !"
The Guards paid me a delicate compliment
at th last meeting. They elected me " Child
of the Regiment," with the rank of first Corpu
lent, and the pay of chief " Blowyer." I was
about to return thanks in a neat and appropri
ate speech, when a reporter who was present
assured me it was no use—he had got the whole
thing in type, speech and all, and I could read
it in the evening paper. He said he kept a
" neat and appropriate speech, standing in type
continually." I got his views, and held my
peace.
Yours for the Unioo, including
the Stars, also the Stripes,
FAT CONTRIBUTOR.
DEMOCRATIC DOCTRINE. —As far at we are
able to discover amongst our exchanges, the
Democratic press of the North may be said to
be a unit in favor of sustaining the Government
in the energetic prosecution of this war. The
Democracy of the North deny the right of se
cession in toto. They have always done so.
They denied the right of the New England
States to secede from the Union in 1812. They
denied the right of Massachusetts to se
cede in 1844-, if Texas was admitted—and now
they emphatically deny tba right of Texas tff
secede. They go for sustaining the Union now
as they have ever done—presenting no petitions
for its dissolution, and scorning the rneu who
would, under any circumstances, • let it slide."
They also go for the Constitution and its guar
anties, including the Liberty of Speech and the
Freedom of the Press. This we call the true,
manly and patriotic ground ; and peace and
harmony can only be re-established in the land,
and secured for all time to come, by an index
ible and united adherence to this Constitution
al position. — Easton Sentinel.
Qjp" " I don't rniis my church so much as
you would suppose," said a lady to her minis
ter, who had called on her during her illness ;
" lor I make Betsy sit at the window as soon as
soon as the bells begin to chime, and she tells
who are going to church, and whether they
have got oil anything new."
lijr~ Why is a retired carpenter like a lectu
rer 1 Because he's an ex-plainer.
VOL 5. NO. 7.