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?JiUicnl Songs.
Fin™, the Pittsburgh i'ot.
'•THE DOUGlaft.i IS COMING.''
A:B— "THE CAMPUELLS ARE "
A POPULAR SONG DEDICATED TO rim j
< IfMUX GI.EECLUB."
i he Doughi. is coming, make way, make way,
I'tie Douglas is coining, make way, make way.
He has stiuck up the tune that we're going to play. !
Pi? tl.e new "Hail Columbia," mai;e way, make j
way.
Then fling your banner to tbe'wind.
Leave feuds and discords far behind —
! his constellation flag shall be
Our ontiauie ot victory.
For Douglas is coming, make way, make.way,
For Douglas is coming, make way, make way.
Oh, please Mr. Lincoln get out of the way—
Best "ride rail" to Boston, make ".ay, make way.
Tread piotl'Uy for we carry here
Tbe noblest flag that floats in atr,
And well we know the truth to be,
.lust luws alone make liberty.
And we're going to have them, make way, make
way,
And we're going to have them, make way, make j
way,
't he Douglas is h'rc, so get out of the way.
You'd best go to Boston, make wav, make way.
No North, no South, no East, no West,
Cur own wide land— the loved—the best—
Sbame to the traifoi who would sever
Our Union—may it last for ever.
And Dougias will save it, make way, make way.
And Douglas will save it, make way, make way,
Tis he bears our flag, and he'lt show us the way,
And we're all for the Union, make way, make way.
DEMOCRATIC FLAG.
Fling out our flag from the gallant mast—
Let the hout of the crew be heard,
While he barque that rides is flying fast.
O'er the sea like a mountain bird '
Let it re,t on the breast ot the glorious sun,
When the sky grows cairn at noon
And on let it float when the day is done,
ii. the sheen of the silver moon.
For it breathes a calm in that tender light
Through the ssyward sailor's eye,
While sne looks on P-ace she ue.Tles bright
'Mid the stais and the stripes on high j
lr speaks to the heart of his mountain home,
Where in quiet it long shall wave,
And knows his sons are free, if they roam—
if dead, in a freemen's grav?.
I.el s'ray tb"ough the r-ght. on that lofty spire,
And :alk with the midnight star—
lor the heave ,s will glow with a warmer fire, j
i'a gace on its face afar ;
They w.it hail it a light a- kindreds alt
Long sen' fiom the par°nt sky,
To laugh in scorn o'er the tyrant's fall
And beam w hen the tyrants die.
Let it float till the last great day of time,
And piouJ o'er a falling world,
! -r up in its own congenial clime,
Triumphant hang'ui.farled ;
And when This fair earth shall no more be given, |
1 or the home of its stars so bright,
.•lay they turn in love to their native heaven,
And dwell n eternal light.
political.
SPEECH or THE
HON. JAMES MEL :
DELIVERED BEFORE THE
Douglas Hub of fbainbersbiirg:, I'a.,
July 7, 1860.
When I went to Charleston as a delegate,
notwithstanding I was a friend of Mr. Douglas,
and desired his nomination, it was my intention
to support in good faith, as a party man, any
other gentieman who might be selected as our
standard-bearer. It we could not nominate
Hooplas, and any other was earned over him,
I meant *o cordially aud earnestly give such
nominee my advocacy. I considered it my du
ty to spar* no Itonorable exertion to promote Ins
• ifclion. Ihe friends ol Douglas did not con-
Mime lime by motions and schemes that had for
iheir object delay and distraction. They never
countenanced secession or disunion. They
pave no aid or encouragement to such traitor
ous projects. At Charleston, after having suc
cessfully gone through ail the devices that their
opponents could suggest, they, in a (ull Conven
tion, by a majority ol 28 cariied the Cincinnati
platform with some modifications. This embra
ced their principles. Until this platform was
carried there nothing was said in favor of se
eding. But immediately after, Mr. Yancey,
behnlf of the Alabama delegation, arose and
'ated that he was under instructions, if he
could not carry his platform, protecting siave
ry in the Territories, to secede from the Con
tention. He marie a long speech advocating
| ami urging his own peculiar views, and the o- i
them belonging to Ins delegation withdrew.
, I his was in substance saying to the majority of
the Convention, "if we the minority, cannot
rule you, we will do what we can to ruin the
party." In common with a large majority of
the body I felt tfiat J could never submit to the
i dictation of such a rriinoiitv : that we would be
recreant to our duty to ourselves if we did not
1 maintain our rigfits. But I had other grounds
| than these. The platform reported by the mi
nority of the committee and adopted bv tlie
j Convention corresponded in principle with the
• resolutions adopted at the Reading Convention
at which the national delegates for Pennsylva
nia were appointed. The friends of Douglas
j from this >tale weje happily in a condition to
j to be able to support the sentiments ot then
own Convention. If several of our colleagues
who opposed Douglas had sustained the Conven
tion thai appointed them, lliere would have
be, n less t n u de.
1 here was one evil that stood out in the clear
, est character, and that was the wrong done to
she Democracy by having office holders in the
f onveutJon. In my judgment, no man who
holds office should ever be a delegate to such a
body.— Willi th-m, with a few honorable ex-
I ceptions, a love of .salary has more influence
, than a love of country. Fearing that 'hey will
! lose th-ir places and the corrupt stealings con
> necled therewith, renders them unfit to have a
judgment of Wieirdwn.— They seem to be ccn-
I trolled bv some other power than that of tile
people. Never was the saying of an eminent
< poet in regard to place-men tnore fuilv verified
I (ban at Charleston and Baltimore. It is.
j " Deprive them of their salary and before to-
moirow's sun,
i tie !. N.ted Status if not the u orld's undone."
J Cut rupt Custom House officers, Navai officers,
Naval Store-keepers, Postmasters, Post office
agents, Paper Contractors, their retainers, IKl
tier-stiuppers and relative?, furnished the re
cruits to the platoons of factionists that endeav
ored to thwart public opinion at Charleston and
Baltimore. Ihe people may well say,
" I hese men acted lor their dirty tee,
And cot f':oin any love lor you or me."
In all cases where delegates were found fa
voring disunion sentiments, and where they
were found ardent opponents of the nomination
ol Douglas, on inquiry it would be found that
lliey were office-holders, or related to or in
some manner connected with some recipient of
pecuniary favors from |t he national administra
tion. The great north-west, comprising the
States of Ohio, Indiana. Illinois, Michigan,
Wisconsin, lowa and Mmnesota, which are en
titled to 66 electoral volts, were unanimouslv
iti favor of D uiglas. Their delegates alleged
that on the Cincinnati platform they could car
ry all or oearlv all of these States tor their fa
vorite. Considering their number and theii
union on one man, they were certainly enti-
tled to some respect. Their influence was just
ly recognized at Charleston by all but faction
ists and after the nomination ot Mr Lincoln by
the Republican Convention at Chicago the in
terest and success of the Democratic party seem
ed to indicate Mr. Douglas as the tnau who
should he selected as the candidate of the Na
tional Democracy. At Charleston 305 delegates
voted lor the nomination ot Douglas about 57
tun—.. The whole Convention, when full, in
ciuded 606 delegates. Tuts shows that Douglas
there iiad a majority in his favor. Why tins
majority should yield to the minority who were
divided among themselves into small factions,
is a position that in a Democratic .Convention
cannot be maintained! The vote on the ad
journment at Charleston shows that 50 J dele
gates were present. Thus far the ?eceders ana
disunionists had not much impaired the Con
vention. The Seceders, headed by Mr. Yan
cey, did not,when they withdrew, intend to re
turn. He said "it would be dishonorable and
humiliating for any delegate to go back to Bal
timore." It wasas to them a resisnatioti ol their
places in the body they had left. Provision
was made by Ihe Convention for the election of
de|egates>in the places of the Seceders by the
Democracy of the States which they had mis
represented. Fearing that this would not work
well foe the disunionists, the Senators and Rep
resentatives in Congress, who support such
principle?, got up a letter recommending tliem
(the Seceders) to go back to the Na'ior.al Con
vention at Baltimore, and there to demand ad
mission, and if admitted, and the majority would
not yield to their unreasonable demands, to se
cede a second time. This letter was signed by
Jefferson Davis, and aii who favored disunion.
Had it not been for "congressional interven
tion," the seceders would nor have appeared at
Baltimore. Ttie seceders from South Carolina
and Florida, having more respect for themsehes
could not. after having withdrawn, be induced
to return. None from these States asked for ad
mission at Baltimore, and yet with the knowl
edge of this fact we were asked to mviie them
to come back ' The majority of the Committee
on Credentials representing a majority of the
States, reported in favor of die speeders being
re-admitted, when tiiev had been re-accredited
to the Convention. But in the States of Ala
bama and Louisiana, where the people had se
lected new delegates, and in (Georgia, where
new men had been chosen instead of the portion
who went out, the report of the Committee was
in favor ol the new delegates. As to Alabama
and Louisiana, the new delegates were admit
ted. The new delegates fioin Georgia were on
the vote of the State of New York rejected.
This left the State just named without a full
representa'ion. The only representatives it
had, were the 10 or 11 that refused to secede at
Charleston. These gentlemen, although friends
ol Mr. Douglas, on account ol the delicacy of
their position, did not vote on any question be
fore the Convention. The seceders from Mis
sissippi, Defeware and other States, although
admitted, would not return. In my judgment,
no man who secedes from aiiy representative
body ol men should be re-admitted. I howev
er yielded my conviction of duty on this point •
for what was supposed would tend to liar wo
BEDFORD, PA., FRIDAI MORNING, AUGUST 3, 1860.
i nize the party, and voted for the report of thei
majority of the Committee throughout. The!
action of the Convention therefore regulated audi
ascertained who were duly constituted delegate.
No motion was made to alter or in any manner
change the platform. The persons who had
meditated secession, and who, we have good
reason to believe, came back lor no other pur
pose, at this point again seceded. When a vote
was about being taken, our raimaculaie Presi
dent. Caleb Ctishing, stated that as a majority
of the body a)id not enWtainlhe same sentiments,
that he did, he considered it his duty to resign
.. f
his ofiice and take a seat on the floor with his
delegation. He thanked the Convention for,
their courteous conduct towards hinu, anu tat:-;
red, while they thanked him for leaving the
Chair by bursts of applause. As soon as lie va
cated the Chair, the Hon. !). Todd, of Ohio,
the first Vice President, stepped into it, and for
so doing he was greeted with several rounds of
applause. The business of the Cooven ion pro-l
Ceeded with less delav under Mr. Todd than it
had done under hts predecessor. Next the vo
ting f m President took place. On the first bal
lot Judge Douglas received 173 i votes: Mr.
Breckinridge 2 votes—scattering 12 votes. —
On the second ballot Douglas received 179
votes ; Breckinridge 5 votes arid the balance
scattering. There were several delegate* in the
Convention who did not vote. The whole num
ber of delegates- present vas 4-22—out ot tins
number Dbugias was "supported by 358, being
' more than two-tbirds. I hen on motion of Mr.
Clarke, of Missouri, and .Mr. Moffat, of Vtr
i gima, the noninutiou was made unanimous by
acclamation.
Next Mr. Fitzpatuck was selected on Ihe re
commendation ol toe southern delegates for
\ ice President. A gent'e inao from Alabama
accepted on behalf of Mr. Fitzpatrick. He,
however, subsequently,declined, and the Hon.
H. V. Johnson,of Giorgi , was,by Ihe National
Committee, nominated tor that office. These
are the regularly nominated candidates of the
National Democracy for President and Vbce
President. Disunion Seceders cannot, bv Lav
ing a body, whilst a majority remain, prevent a
nomination. If such a principle would be te
cogntzed as correct, disorganization would be
the result in all nominating bodies. Delegates
by refu-ing to do their duty when in a mirorilv
would only have to leave and in this wav to
render the majority powerless. Your State,
county and township conventions would,
through the influence of disappointed office hun
ters, be destroyed.
(Jn the question of representation it may be
well eri jugn to say something. The object of
representation, as I understand it, is to have
the sentiments and principles of the district tar-'
ried out us far as the same can t>e ascertained.—
In each district the people shouid he prepared
to make secessions so as to harmonize ttie whole
ii such a thing can be effected. On this ac
count on the platform we from the free States
contended that we should not sacrifice ever\-
thing to the views of lb-* men uho came from
flit slave Stales. Me deemed the Cincinnati
platform, which Laves the people in the Terri
tories to regulate the question of slavery for
themselves, as the true exposition of the rights
of all sections of the confederacy. If it was
good enough four years ago, w,- believe it good
enough at the present tune. We were willing
to allow all territorial legislation on the subject
of slavery, or any other subject to be tested as
to its constitutionality, by tne Supreme Court
of Hie United States. H JW, ii'we were unwil
ling, could this be avoided ( We also thought
that if Mr. Buchanan was elected on said plat
form that rio good reason existed why other can
didates should not have the same opportunities.
We did not deem it advantageous to the party
to be changing platforms every four years; atul
more still, we felt convinced thut the tepreseii
t alive? of '.he people from the banks of the Hud
son, Susquehanna or Wabash had as much right
to take a part in the formation of a platform as
the representatives from theSanfee or Savannah.
We desired no greater but only equal rights
with them.
In their opinion or in the opinion of the disu
nion seceders, Congress has a right to legislate
in favor of slavery in the Territories, and not
against it. The Republicans hold that Congress
has power to legislate against slavery and not in
lavor of it. If nine-tenths of the people in a
Territory were for said institution, the Republi
cans by Congressional intervention would pro
hibit it, while on the other hand, if the same
number of people were against it, the di ; union
ists would by the same means force it upon them,
Neither of these parties sustain the maxim,
that all power is derived from the people.
I hese are the positions assumed h v our oppo
nents. The National Democracy, desirous oi
having no agitation o:\ the slavery question,de
ny tile right of Congress to interfere with it in
the' Territories. They are willing to submit
this matter to the people and if a majority of
the citizens are in favor of, or against slavery,
!• t them decide the question for themselves.
Their legislation must be of course within their
constitutional authority. The Dred Scott case
holds that all properly in the Territories, no
matter of whatsoever kind it may be, stands on
an equal footing. Slaves are put on the saine
conditions as cows or horses. Their owner is
said to have the same right, to lake them there
and to hold them when there, that the owners
of other kinds ol property have to Iheir chattels
while there. This decision is the law, and we
as Democrats, do not mean to call it in ques
tion. But to extend their privilege still fur
ther, the disunion advocates or secedeis aver
that Congress isjrequired by a slave code to pro
tect slavery in tne Territories. This we deny,
for the reason that in the decision referred to
and by the clearly expressed provisions oi the
constitution, every citizen of any state in the
Union has a right to enjoy freedom of speech,
and the liberty of the press. I( a Pennsylvani
an goes to a Territory, no Congressional legisla
tion can divest him of these rights. From all
experience as to slave codes, where they exist in
Freedom of Thonglit and Opinion.
| Slates, these rights are denied : any person who
I speaks or writes against slavery is punished
Criminally by fine and penitentiary punishment.
Fnis punishment cannot he inflicted in the Ter
ritories by Congress, as long as the citizens of
the several Slates are entitled to equal rights, or
as long as the equality of the Slates is recognizedj
hence the majority of the Democracy in the late
National Convention opposed Congressional pro
tection. Now, are the Republicans correct,
when they allege (hat Congress can legislate a
gairist slavery and not in favor o! it, or are the
di<unianists light when they declare that Con
gress can only legislate in fuv rot Slaverv. and
, not against it ? iJas there ever heeti a body ot
/men endowed with legislative power from tiie
time the House ol Commons of Rngland took its
rise to this day in which tiie members could not
vote yes or rto on any subject before them'?
Ihe right of legislation in nseli includes (lie
right to consider and decide. Jt authorises at
fiimatiee or negative action according to the
judgment of the legislators, i believe at one
time the Irish parliament had no power to ori
ginate any measure : they were to pass upon
_.such acts as the crown officers submitted to
them, hut they could not adopt or reject any
matter brought before them, they could vote
■ | yea or nay as conscience dictated. It lam cor
•jrcct in my recollection, the legislative coun
cils ol Loci* Napoleon at present have only
. such a limited right to enact laws, hut each
; imember can vote for or against any thing, hi- is
, required to act on. Again allow me to ask of
j"what practical use can this matter of Congres
sional intervention in favor of slavery in the
. Territories be, what good can come of it.' Is it
• not merely a political abstraction that cannot
be carried into < tfec.t. As long a* a majority of
i the Congressmen come from the tree Stales such
,j fin act cannot be passed. This majority is cer
. tain'vtobe augmented after the taking of tiie
I present *ns.is. such being the case where are
■ the Congressmen to he found in the free States
■ who will enact a law that will send their
■ friends and nrighbors to the Penitentiary, for
enteitaining and avowing the opinion that sla
very is not "a divine institution." Do thedis
unionists claim the right to issue a mandamus
out ot tiie Court ot the United States to compel
Congressmen to enact laws on this matter? II
such authority is claimed it will be a new pow
er not before thought of !
N'ow let me advert to the nomination of John
C. Breckinridge and Jo*. Lane for Prpjident
and \ ice President : both of these men were
candidates before the regular National Conven
tion, tor the high olfice ot President. Lane was
not vfjfed foi after the adjournment at Charles
tun. Rnf Jtreckinridge received-five votes (HI both
ballots at Baltimore , out oi '2ll votes—l-22
fcetegaies, ■ rpiar to 5 votes, supported John C.
Breckinri ige !! Not satisfied with this dem
onstration in his favor, the seceders, including
5 or li delegates troin Pennsylvania who withr
| out withdrawing, left the Convention, met lo
geilier in tii - Maryland Institute. Their num
-1 her w.o I'tf), two id this number that I know of
iw re not delegate . ihese 105 resolved that
every man should cast one vote. Then with
i the 105 vates which would only have been 524
j votes in the Convention, they as disunionists
• and nominated John C. Breckin
j ridge and Joseph Lane lor Vice President.—
; This nomination is wholly irregular, it is like a
I pewter dollar, bogus throughout. But notwith
| standing its bogus character, we are asked to
! compromise with its advocates in reference to
' our electoral ticket. This I for one will npver
i agree to. ll we agree that this nomination is
. right, we may concede the same to one made
j to-morrow, <Nc.
; A few ol the delegates who were at liead
j iug may assemble together and on the same
; grounds, can nominate another candidate tor
i Governor and ask the friends of General Foster
jto compromise witti them. The precognition ot
| such a doctrine would unsettle and disorganize
! all political organizations. How can the
! fi lends ol Judge Douglas'compromise with dis
j union st-ceders ! Our platform is diametrically
| opposed to their creed. Many ot the friends ot
i D.mglds would refuse to cast their votes at ell
;i unv probability existed that* Breckinridge or
Lane would be benefitted by their suffrages.—-
Why should the Breckiniidge inen ask for a
compromise in Pennsylvania, when their friends
in New York, Missouti, aud elsewhere are
nominating tickets for themselves. But a few
days ago a new gubernatorial candidate was
nomina.eii fay the ureckmridge men in Alissou
( ri, and ariangenients have been made in New
York I r a Lreckutiluge electoral tcket. This
I being the case, i think no compromise should
(he entered into here. What inducement can be
I found for compromise in tins State ? Do Penn
sylvania Demociats mean to join hands with
j disunion men ? Do tliev contemplate a dissolu
i tion of the Union? Aie not Bieckinndge aud
Lane trie candidates ol Mr. Yancey and his dis
i union adherents ? lias ndl Yancey and many
| who act with him in the South, solemnly averr
ed, that il Mr. Lincoln is elected he should nev-
I ei be inauguiated : that the crisis might as well
: come now as hereafter ? If this threat is made j
j in as much solemnity as it seems to be, are not
the disuniouists endeavoring to bring about their !
threa's *by running Breckinridge and Lane.—
Do they in tnis manner intend to distract and
divide the democratic party, so as to defeat
Douglas and elect Lincoln, in order to have a
pretext "to precipitate the cotton States into a
l revolution ?" Their object is a dissolution of
the Union ; Yancey in all his speeches assert
the right. Then let me again ask, whether any
man in the Keystone State is willing to be an
instrument in the hands of the seceders to bring
| about a dissolution of the Union. John C.
Breckinridge will be the second Vice President,
: who has cherished and lostered disunion ; 1
would suggest, that the fate and fame ol Aaron
i Burr will be his.
j A TRAVELER tells us that be knows a fellow
i down South who was so fond of a young woman
j tnat he has rubbed his nose off kissing her shad
ow on the wall.
miscellaneous.
A CALIFORNIA TRIAL.
A teilow named Donks was lately tried at
\ üba city, for entering a miner's tent and
seizing a fag of gold dust valued at eighty-four
dollars. The testimony showed that he had
once been employed there, and knew exactly
where t tie owner kept his dust ; that on the
night of October 19th, he cut a si ir in the tent,
reached in, took the hag and then ran off*.
Jim Bulier, the principal witness, testified
i that he saw the hole cut, saw the tr.an leach in,
; and heard him run away.
"I put for him at once," continued the wit
ness, "but when I cotched bun, I didn't
; find Bill's bag ; but it was found afterwards,
j where he had throwed it."
Counsel for the Prisoner.—How far did lie
get in when he took the dust f
Boiler.—Well, he was stoopin" over—about
j half in, 1 should sav.
Counsel—may it please your honor, the in
dictment isn't sustained, and I shall demand
an acquittal on the direction of the court. The
prisoner is on trial for enteting a dwelling in
i the night time with intent to steal. The tes
timony is clear that he made an opening,
; through which he protruded himself about halt
j way, and stretching out his arms, committed
the theft. But the indictment charges that he
; actually entered the tent cr dwelling. Now,
your honor, can a man enter the house, when
only one-halt ol uis body is in, jan-J the other
1 halfoot 1
| Judge.—l shall leave the whole matter to
the jury. They must judge of the taw and
the fact as proved.
The jury brought in a verdict of "guiltv" as
jto one-half of the body from the waist up, and
i "not guilty" as to the other ha!/.
The Judge sentenced the guilty half to two
; years' imprisonment, leaving it to the prisoner's
option to have the "not guilty" half cut off, or
take it along with him. A judgment, we
think, worthy of Solomon.
: BEIGHAM \OC.\G ON A TOUR. —The Dcseret
| S\"ews of the 20th uit.,"gives an account of a
tour of Presidents Young, Brigham and Wells,
with about one hundred followers, through the
j new settlement ia the county of Cache. Ser
i tnons were delivered a* the principal stopping
j places, "to instruct the people in the discharge
!of their several duties as saints and pioneers"
in that part of the Territory. The .Vet cs
says :
"With"Cache Valley, the visiting of which
was the pa object of the tour, all with
•■vho.'iyWe'ha.wegfc mversed, seemed delighted.—
Kvervtfyra* tßjfe is fatf>and prosperous. The
per,fUL-4)ave bTefl themselves marvel
ous!}' in pntfmg in crops and preparing the
necessary things lor their comfort, protection
and prosperity. About five thousand five hun
| cired acres have been ploughed and sou n or
planted there this spring, about four-fifths of
the whole amount in wheat, the baiiance in
corn, po'atoes. oats, hat ley, Re. all looking
we,l, but r.ot as forwatd as the crops
are in Weber, Davis and Great Salt
(Like counties, in all of which, as well as
jin most of the counties in this part ot the
Territory, wheat ciops especially look remarka
i b!y well, and at present promise an abundant
harvest
j The people in these new locations have not,
asyes,done much inthe line of building, but
' are making extensive arrangements to provide
i themselves with comfortable habitations during
I the summer.
WESTERN ANTIQUITIES.—A correspondent
of the Winona (Minnesota) Republican, writes
that .Mr. A. L. Jenks, of that place : who is
prospecting in one of those inonnds which
are so common in that country, recently
discovered, at the depth of five or six teet the
remains > f seven or eight people ol very
size. One thigh bone measured three feet iu
length. The under jaw was one inch wider
than that of any other man in ihe city. He
also lound cUm shells, pieces ol'ivorv or bone
rings, pieces of kettles made of earth and coarse
sand. There were at the neck of one ol these
skeletons, teeth two inches in length by one
half to three fourths of an inch in diameter,
with holes drilled into the side, and the end
polished with a crease around it. Also, an
arrow five inches long by one and a halt wide,
stuck through the back near the back bone ;
and one about eight inches long stuck in the
left hreaft. Also, the blade of a copper hatchet,
one and a half inches wide at the edge ant ] two
inches long. The mound is some 200 feet a
bove tlie surface of the Mississippi, and is
comprised of clay immediately above the re
mains two leet tliick ; then comes a layer of
black loam ; then another layer of clav us
inches thick, all so closely packed that it was
with difficulty that it could be penetrated.—
There are some four or five different .'avers of
earth above tfie remains. There is no such
clay found elsewhere in the vicinity.
K7"An old man who had a neighbor rather
addicted to telling large stories, alter listening
to one fday, which quite taxed his creduli
ty, boasted that he himself could tell a higher
one still, and proceeded thus
One day as I was quite at the farther end
of my farm, more than a tniie from my house,
at once I saw a very heavy, dark cloud rising
in the west. Soon I saw the torrents of ram
defending at a distance, and rapidly approach
ing the place where J stood with mv wagon
and horses. Determined (if possible,) to es--
caoe the stonn, I instantly jumped into my
wagon, and started my team toward home in a
hurry. By constant application of the whip
to my horses, I barely escaped being overtaken
by the rapidly approaching torrent. But,
believe rne sir, so tremendously did it pour
down, that my little dog, winch was close H-
L hind me, actually had to swim Ihe whole
way I
WHOf.E \IIBER, 2913,
j rfn unfortunate Illustration. —Prof. C
|oi Bowdoin College, was noted for havin a
certain set ol illustrations from which he could
| not well deviate wit html running the risk of a
| blunder. In illustrating the powerfuleffects of
prussic acid, he was wont to inform the class
t.iU a crop placed on a dog's tongue was suffi
cient to kill.
On one]occasion the class filed ioto the recita
tion room, and the pressor commenced the ex
ercise.
. Srnit •, he said, addressing a voun man
I Whose chance of gaining the valedictory was
| very slender, "what can you say of prussic acid.
[ Is it powerful or otherwise ?"
; '-It is rather powerful," said the student, du
biously. *
' Rather powerful ! said the professor, in-
"Put a dropon vour tongde, and it
! will kill a dog !" '
fhe shout oflaughfer which followed, and
.Smiths confusion, revealed to the professor
that his illustration had served a double pur
pose . r
. ~An old man in Indiana was in the habit
of u-incr large words misapplied, lie thought
•ht v.- rds '-in' and 'Adultery' synonymous,
sn ";' the latter for the former
; making a ridiculous mistake.
i !:e oid man had removed his family into a
very -smful' neighborhood ea the Wabash,
-re swearing and othmr sins were common,
iheref >re removed his family back to his
; ; : " nt ' r for the sake o"f good society.
oe cay soon after his return he met a neigh
- v, v.-jj ) ihus him °
'•veil. Bill, why did you leave the Wabash
country ? Wasn't the land good ?
.. ''• l •" : '- e land,' replied Billy, a fter taking
,:;:n ' :js,6ns ' 1 verily found the sub-soil to
be super-excellent. But the state of morals
in me society was so depraved and contagious
inat i soon found that I could not stay thero
| without committing adullerv P
clergyman '.vas endeavoring to instruct
one of his scholars on the nature of a mira
cle.
'• NOW, boy, said he, "suppose you {were to
see the sun rising in the middle of the night
what would you call that ?" '
"The moon, sir,"
"No, but," said the clergymen, "suppose you
knew that it was not the moon, but the sun,
and that you actually saw it rising in the
miOule ol the night, what should you think 1"
t] j'!?, 2Se ' s "' * should think it was lime to get
Emro.—What must he conduct a
newspaper right ? Write.
Sv^ln 1 ' S " tCesStUr ? 10 a larmer fo aisi him ?
d.S' *l°ltr e 3 llind man ihe B rM,wt
g ' VPn b ' ' 01
Hho commits the greatest abominations
Gallons,
What is the greatest terrifiei ? Fire.
; A TRAVELING gent, passing a farm, saw a
boy at work in a corn field by the road side
. ! n , ? . 0 an '"quiring turn ot mind, he
stopped his horse, and thus addressed the youth
':Mv son whose farm is this?"
"Dad s, was the laconic reply.
'•Does your father raise any stock ?"
"Yas, io's on 'em."
"What k nd ?"
"Cornstocks, mostly," was the reply as he
proceeded to "hoe" a hill of the article, and
the stranger passed on his way musing.
ALI-CKY PRINTER —The London Times
notices the fact that a journeyman printer, a
very steady, upright and deserving old man,
.ias repentiv become the possessor of S2OO 000
H- the decease „f an uncle in Australia. ' He
1:3.1 be.-n employed in the office where he was
working at the time he received the news of
(lis accession to wealth, for more than forty
years without intermission.
SHARP.— Dr. A., physician of North Bridge
water, Mass., while tiding with one of his pa
tients, met Dr. 8., another physician of that
town, when the following conversation took
place "Well Doctor, f see vou aretakin* one
of your patients to ride." "Exactly" say , Dr.
A. "Well," said Dr. B. "a thing I never do is
to take my patients out to ride."" "I know it,"
said Dr. A., "the undertaker does it for you."
i _ < AFSaP m dis chile's to Washington to
pl7 for oiiis ob de fiovernrnent."
1 what are you try.n' to got now,
"Ise swine to 'ply for de post ob sexton in
de post otlis apartment."
I '^f xton °b P ost °® s apartment, what
'■To berry de dead letters !"
CLEAR THE i RACK —'Look here, Pete,' said
a knowing darkey to his companion, 'don't
stand on the railroad.'
'Why, Joe V
'lyase if de cats see that rr.oufob yourn' dey
will link it am a depot and run right in.
N T HAD. —At a printers' festival '.he follow-
I ing toas! was gicen :
' -The Editor and Lawyer—The "devil" is
satislied with the "copy" of the former, but re
i quires tbe original of the latter.
fCF*"The victory is not always to the strong,"
as the boy sain when he killed a skunk with a
; brickbat^
IF'Jt is very well for little children to be
lambs, but a very bad thing for them to grow
up sheep.
KF""I got some boot tn that bargain," as the
{ loafer said when he got kicked out of the
door.
VOL. 4. NO. I.