VOI,U:UE .!(>.
NEW SERIES.
SEW ARICUi.TVa\I. SETTLEMENT,
TO ALL WANTING FARMS,
A RARE OPPORTUNITY IN A DELIGHTFUL
AND HEALTHY CLIMATE 25 MILES SOUTH
EAST OF PHILADELPHIA, ON THE CAM
DEN AND ATLANTIC RAILROAD,
NEW JERSEY.
An old estate consisting ot' several thousand of
acres of productive soil has been divided into Farms
-of various sizes to suit the purchaser. A popula
tion of some Fifteen Hundred, from various parts
of the middle States and New England have settled
-there the past year, improved their places, and
raised excellent nope. The price of the land is at
the low sum of from sls to S2O per acre, the soil
of the best quality for the production ol Wheat.
Clover, Corn, Peaches, Grapes and Vegetables. IT
IS CONSIDERED THE REST FRUIT SOIL IN
THE UNION. The place is perfectly secure from
frosts the destructive enemy of the farmer. Crops
of grain, grass and iruit are now growing and can
-be seen. By examining the place itself, a correct
judgment can be formed of the productiveness of the
land. The terms aie made easy to secure the rapid
improvement of the land,, which is only sold for
metual improvement. The result has been, that
within the past year, some three hundred houses have
been erected, two mills, one steam,lour stores, some
forty vinyards and peach orchards, planted, and a
arge number of other improvements, making it a
lesirable and active place of business.
THE MARKET,
** the reader may perceive from its location, is the
REST IN THE UNION,
Products bringing double the p r ice than in loca
tions away from the city, ami more than double the
price in the West. It is known that the earliest
and best fruits and vegetables in this latitude come
from New Jeisey, and are annually exported to the
extent of millions.
In locating here, the settler has many advantages
He is within a lew hours ride f the great cities of
New England and Middle count/ / /■here every im
provement ot comfort u"<i civilization -V at hou/l.—
He can buy every article he wants at the cheup-st
price, an I sell his produce for the highest, (in the
West this is reversed,) he has schoois for bis chil
dren, divine sen/ire. and will enjoy an open winter,
and delightful climate, where levers are utterly un
known. The result ot the change npou tnose liotn
the north, has generally been to restore them to an
excellent state of health.
In the way of building and improving, lumber
stan be obtained at the mills at the rate of $lO to
sls per thousand. Bricks from the brick yard
opened in the place, every article can be procured
in the place; good carpenters are at hand, and there
-is no place in the Union where buildings and im
provemea's can be made cheaper.
The reader will at once be struck with the
advantages here presented, and ask himself why the
property has not been taken up before. The reason
is, it was never thrown ui the market; and unless
these statements were correct, no one would be in
vited to examine the land before purchasing. This
■all are expected to do. They will sell land under
cultivation, sue.', is the extent of the settlement that
they will no doubt, m; tpersons from 'heir own
neighborhood; they will witness the improvements
end can judge Ine character ii the pupii lation. If
they come with a view to settle, they should come
pre|>ared to stay a day or two and he ready to pur
chase, as locations cannot he held on relusal.
There are two daily trains to Philadelphia, and
to all settlers who improve, TUB RAILROAD COMPAN Y
.IVES A FREK TICKET FOR SIX MONTHS AMI A HALF
YKICETICKLT FOR THREE YEARS.
THE TOWN OF HAMMONTOX.
In connection with the agricultural settlement,
*. new and thriving town has i aturaliy arisen, which
presents inducements lor any kind ol business,
particularly btores and roannlactories. The Shoe
business could be carried on in this place and market
to good advantage, also cotton business, and man
ufactories of agricultural implements or Foundries
for casting small articles. The improvement has
ibeen so rapid as to insure a constant and permanee
ncrease ot business Town lots of a good size, we
do not sell small ones, <as it would aflect the im
oprovement of theplace can be had at from SIOO
and upwards.
The Harnmonton Farmer, a monthly literary and
agricultural sheet, containing full information of
Harnmonton, can he obtained at 25 cents per annnrn.
Title indisputable—warrantee deeds given, clear
of ail incumbrance when money is paid. Route to
the land : leave Vine street wharf, Philadelphia for
Harnmonton by Railroad, 7 J A. M.. or -1 i P. M.
Faie 90 cents. When there Inquire for Mr. Byrne.-.
Boarding conveniences on band. Parties had better
stop with Mr. Byrnes, a principal until they have
decided as to purchasing, as he will show them over
the land in his carriage, free of expense. Letters
arid applications can be addressed to Landis & Byrnes,
flammonton P. 0., Atlantic Co., New Jersey, or
S. B. Coughlin, 202 South Fifth Street, Philadelphia.
Maps and information cheerfully furnished.
Aug. 19, 1859-6 m.
Allegheny Male aii Female Seminar},
K<*, Pa.
FACULTY.
E. J. OSBORNE, A. 8., Principal, Prof, of Lan
guages and Philosophy.
Wm. S.Smith. Prof, of Mathematics.
Jas. H. Miller, Adjunct Prof, of Mathematics.
Kev. B. F. Stevens, Lecturer on Moral Philoso
phy &e.
Wm. A. Stephens, Prof, of English Grammar Nc.
Dr. J. Hughes, Lecturer on Anatomy &c.
Mrs. E. V. Osborne, Preceptress, Teacher of Draw
ing French, Botauy fee.
B. F. Drott, Prof, of Instrumental Music.
Price of Tuition for term of i I weeks.
Common English Branches $3 25
Higher Branches, including common, each 80
Latin and Greek, each 2 00
German and French, each 2 50
Book-keeping and Commercial calculations 1 50
ORNAMENTAL.
Drawing 2 50
Colored crayon, and water colors, (each 3 00
Oil painting 5 bO
Hair and wax flowers, each 3 00
Pellis work 3 00
Embroidery I <s®
Piano music, with use of instrument 10 00
Board $ i 75 per week including room rent, fuel,
furniture &c. This is one of the best, and cheapest
institutions in the country. Tiie whole expense per
term need not be more than twenty-live dollars.—
Second Quarter of summer session commences
August 4, 1859.
Teacher® wili be instructed free of charge in the
Normal Department.
For particulars, address the Principal.
E.J. OSBORNE, A. B-
Rainsburg, Bedford co., April 22, 1859.
rpHE HjkMMONTON FARMER—A new
L paper devoted to Literature and Agricul
ture. also setting foi t.. Jail accounts of the new set- j
tlement of Harnmonton, in New Jersey, can be subs \
scribed for at only 25 cents per annum.
Inclose postage stamps for the amount. Address
to the Editor of the Farmer, Harnmonton, P. O. At- j
lantic Co., New Jersey. Those wishing cheap land
of the best quality, in one of the healthiest and most
Jelightful climates in the Union, and where crops !
are never cut down by frosts, the terrible scourge
of the north, ee advertisement of Harnmonton j
Lands.
THE BEDFORD GAZETTE
IS PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY MORNING,
BY B. F. MEYERS,
At the following terms, to wit:
$1.50 per annum, CASH, in advance.
$2.00 <i if p a jd within the year.
$2.50 " if no t paid within the year.
[CF'No subscription taken for less than six months.
paper discontinued until all arrearages are
paid, unless at the option of the publishers. It has
heen decided by the United States Courts, that the
stoppage of a newspaper without the payment of ar
rearages, is prima facie evidence ol fraud and is a
criminal offence.
CE?" 1 he courts have decided that persons are ac
countable lor the subscription price of newspapers,
if the) take them lrom the post otlicc, whether they
subscribe for them, or not.
SELECT POET RV.
IDEAL ARB REAL.
BY JOHN G. SAXE.
Some years ago, when 1 was young,
And Mrs. Jones was Miss Delancy ;
When wedlock's canopy was hung
With curtains from the loom of fancy ;
1 used to paint my future life
With most poetical precision—
My special wonder of a wife ,
My happy days ; my nights Eiysian.
1 saw a lady, rather small,
(A JUNO was my strict abhoirence.)
| With | flaxen hair contrived to la 11
In careless ringlets, a la Lawrence ;
A blond complexion ; eyes that drew
1* rom autumi: clouds their azure brightness;
j The foot of Venus ; arms whose hue
Was perfect in its milkv whiteness!
1 saw a party, quite select—
There might have been a baker's dozen ;
A parson ox" the ruling sect ;
A bride's maid, and a citv cousin ;
A formal speech to me and mine,
(Us meaning 1 could scarce discover ;)
A taste of cake ; a sip of wine ;
Some kissing—and the scene was over.
1 saw a baby—one—no more ;
A cherub pictured, rather laintly,
Beside a pallid dame who wore
A countenance extremely saintly.
' 1 saw—but nothing could 1 hear,
Except the softest prattle, may be—
The merest breath upon the ear
So quiet was that blessed baby !
URAL.
i see a woman, rather tall.
And yet, 1 own, a comeiy lady ;
Complexion—such as I must cat
(To be exact) a little shady ;
A hand not handsome, yet confessed
A generous one for love or pity ;
A nimble foot, and —neatly dressed
In No. s's—extremely pretty.
I see a group of boys and girls
Assembled round the knee paternal;
With ruddy cheeks and tangled curls,
And manners not at all supernal.
And one has reached a manly size ;
And one aspires to woman's stature ;
And one is quite a recent prize,
And all abound in human nature!
J'be bi ys are hard to keep in trim ;
The girls are often very trying ;
The baby—lixe the cherubim—
Seeins very food of steady crying!
And yet the precious little one,
His mother's dear, despotic master,
Is worth a thousand babies, done
In Parian or alabaster !
I j
j And oft that stately dame and I,
When laughing o'er our early dreaming, !
j Ana marking, as the years go by,
How idle was our youthful scheming,
Confess the wiser power that knew
How care each earthly joy enhances,
And gave us blessings rich and true,
Aud better far than all our fancies!
POLITICAL.
The "Irrepressible Conflict"—Legiti
mate Fruit of Republicanism.
The leading republican organs clearly fore- j
see the effects on the minds anu hearts of the
American people which will be produced by,
the bloody illustrations of the anti-national and
anti-constitutional dogmas of that sectional lac- !
tion recently exhibited at Harper's Ferrv.— j
They, therefore, stop at nothing in their des- !
perate attempts to clear their skirts of any com
plicity in proceedings which have called lorth |
the execrations of patriotic, Union-loving, and
peaceful citizens throughout the length and '
breadth of our country. But the public are:
not to be deceived by these hypocritical pie
tences. The conservative presses of the North
are doing their duty in exposing these hollow
and cowardly disclaimers. The Boston Post
says truly :
"It was a concerted attempt to produce aj
wide-spread servile insurrection—to fill a
peaceful community with the bloody works of j
massacre.
The agents who made this attempt are all |
known ; their characters and their antecedents, j
Their leader, Brown, ol Kansas notoriety, said ,
to Mr. Mills, the master ofthe armory : "We j
are abolitionists from the North; we come to
lake and release your slaves ; our organization I
is large and must succeed ; I suflered much in I
Kansas, and expect to suffer here in the cause
of human freedom ; slave-holders I rega;d as
robbers and murderers, and 1 have sworn to
abolish slavery, and liberate ny fellow-man."
BEDFORD, PA., FRIDAY MORNING, NOVEMBER 11,1859.
j Edwin Coppich, the only captive not woun
ded, states that he engaged in the plot last Ju
ly ; that tie is from lowa, and i 3 a republican
philanthropist, who went to Harper's Ferry to
liberate the negroes : and that their rifles are
j some of those furnished by the Massachusetts
Emigrant Aid Society and sent to Kansas ;
they were reshipped to Chambersburg, and
thence hauled with ammunition by teams to
their "headquarters and, as to the rifles,
J Brown also declared to the correspondent of
the New York Times that "it was no part of
his purpose to seize the public arms. He had
arms and ammunition enough, furnished by the
Massachusetts Emigrant Aid Society. He on
ly intended to make the 'first demonstration at
this point, when he expected to receive a rap
id increase of allies from abolitionists every- j
, where settled through Maryland and Virginia,!
sufficient to take possession of both Slates, with j
all of the negroes they could capture.
MR. GIDDINGS AND THE REPUBLICAN
STATE COMMITTEE OF OHIO.
IVe have received a letter from Mr. IV. T.
Bascom, secretary of the .Republican State Cen
tra! Committee of Ohio, dated Columbus, Oct.
"28th, containing a positive denial of the asser
tion so widely circulated that Joshua R. Gid
dings is chairman of the Ohio Republican State
Committee.
We are quite ready to believe the truth of Mr. I
Bascom's information with regard to the cha r
manshipof his committee,although it wasou the
authority ola gentleman of Ohio of high stan- j
ding that we stated that Air. Giddings occupi-•
td that position. We find however that there
are two members of the Slate Central Commit
tee "for the state at large," of whom "Hon. J.
if. Giddings, of Jefferson," is one. For this 1
statement Mr. Bascom and the printed li-t ol
the "Members ol the Committee" constitute our j
authority.
But it is a matter of no importance, whether
Mr. Giddings is the chairman or only a siin- '
pie member of the Republican State Commit-j
tee of Ohio. He is as much identified with the i
republican party in the one case as in the other, i
and, so far as our object is concerned, the pre- i
cise rank which he holds in the Republican
Committee of Ohio makes no diliertnee what
ever.
Since the complicity of .Mr. Giddings in the
attempted servile insurrection at Harper's Fer- !
ry has been demonstrated, the black republi- :
cans have attempted to deny his connection j
with their paity, just as they have attempted
to repudiate Ossawatomie Brown. This they
cannot, and most not be allowed to do. Gid
dings is one ol their leading orators; one ot
their most popular lecturers ; unMl latelv, one 1
Ot their most honored repiesentolirea' in CAm
gress ; and now one of the members of their !
State Committee "for the State at large." He I
is not simply a member, but a most prominent i
member, of the black republican party, and it
is too late for that party to repudiate him now 1
unless they also repudiate the doctrines which
i.e and Seward have preached, and ol which
the Harper's Ferry insurrection was au inevi-i
table consequence.— Constitution.
DICKINSON <'X THE INSURRECTION.
The Hon. Daniel S. Dickinson, in his great I
speech on Tuesday evening, at the Old Tam
many Democratic Ratification Meeliri", thus
humorously and eloquently spoke of the recent
outbreak at Harper's Ferry :
I have very little to say concerning.the mis- j
erable men who have entered into tins "irre
pressible conflict" in earnest, upon whom the !
law has laid its hand. I will leave them there.
But J have much to say concerning those who i
set this hall in motion. This Brown,
whom they now turn their backs upon, was re
cently a hero. His natne was home upon eve
ry breeze, and mingled with the loudest shrieks j
that came Irom Kan|as. He was not on'v
John Brown, but he was Ossawatomie Brown,
Capt. Brown, Major Brown, and Gen. Brown'.
(Applause and laughlei.) But now that lie is
in the hands of the law, he is called "crazy old ;
Brown," and left to his late. What we assert
is that the conduct ot Brown and his associates !
is the natural and legitimate, if not necessary
harvest from just such sowing as year after i
year the Republican party has made.
This slavery question has been agitated
without any cause under Heaven. Sofal from
slavery advancing upon the free States, the tree
States have been advancing upon the slave :
States, and not a single inch of the Territories
of the United States, either of the old or that
recently acquired from Mexico, was ever adap
ted to slavery ; for there is not a rod ot it upon
which negroes could raise hemp enough to j
hang themselves. It is so iil adapted to slavery i
that if the slaves did not run away from their
masters, the masters would have to run away
from their slaves. (Laughter.)
Nevertheless, the public mind was excited,'
and Republican pulpits, presses and firesides
were redolent of Kansas and slave territory.
Every reasoning man knows that in the beam
ing we were all slave Slates ; that we were
such when we entered into this federal compact
to perpetuate the blessings of liberty. Thev
knew that one by one we became free States,
until we had at the time this "irrepressible con
flict" was inaugurated a majority of sixty votes
in the House of Representatives and six in the
Senate of the United States, and every day the
free States were growing stronger and the "slave
States numerically weaker. Some of the slave
States too, stand ready, whenever this Repub
lican pressure shall be removed, to abolish sla
very in their own way and in their own time,
as we in New York have done, and as has
been done in New England, New Jersey and
Pennsylvania.
The Democratic party is a party of "let a-
Jone" in everything except sustaining the Con
stitution. It believes our sister States are our
equals in right, dot only upon paper, but in
spirit—(cheers)—not only equal in theory, but
Freedom of Thought and Opinion.
■ | in practice ; that they possess all the rights we
■ | possess and enjoy. The highest duty of both
i slave and free States we hold to be to have a
i kind regard for each other, in all their varied
■ ; relations under the federal compact suggested
; in its original adoption. But the Republican
; party proposes to wage, and does wage an "irre
pressible conflict," against the slave States.—
I Look at the Republican prpss during the past
| ten or fifteen years—see its pages reeking with
| exciling laoguage and hostile denunciations of
J that time. And even this very day the 6ame
tone of denunciation is going on.
Is it to be wondered that when so many are
j preaching some should be found to practice ?
, that fLown and his associates, with the aid and
encouragement they had received, should at
| tempt this insurrection in one of the States of
j this confederacy ? They are not to get off by
; saying it is "Old Brown," "mad Brown or
j "crazy Brown." Who, I ask, in the name of
truth and justice, furnished the material, the
i sinews lor this terrible war ? Old Brown, or
•'Crazy Erown," and his associates did not.—
No crazy man ever laid that infernal piol. It
. was done with murderous deliberation. Everv
I step throighall its devious, dark, winding way
: it was dope with murderous deliberation,
i Who ftrnished the pikes to be placed in the
i nandsof infuriated blacks at midnight, to mur-
I der their masters anci mistiesses ? Who furnish
j the arms and munitions and sped them on
their way to inaugurate this irrepressible con
; llict ? These questions will have to be answer
: 'd to the satisfaction of the American people.
Attilajfie Hun who was denominated the scoutg- '
of God, by reason of his black and brutal feio
citv, declared tbat no green grass should grow
tvuere his horse's feet had trodden. Hyder
Ali iiiion the Carnatic left nothing behind his
trail but ashes and blood. But Attiia the Hun
and Hyder Aii upon the Carnatic will be re
garded in the great day honester men in the
sight of God and man than thus-* that inaugura
ted thai irrepressible conflict in Virginia. !
from tie Philadelphia Christian Observer.
THE TRAGEDY AT HARPER'S FERRY. .
A peaceful village is invaded by a murder
ous band, n the quiet hour of a Sabbath night;
its citizens are slain or imprisoned without
provocation or warning. The fiendish con
spirators are collected from five or six neigh
boring Staes! The aiarni is given—the attempt
to kindle the fire of a servile war, and spread
rapine, bloodshed and murder, through a wide
extent of country, is crushed; but in crushing
it, five or six unoffending Citizens are shot down;
and fifteen of the atrocious felons meet with
sudden death—the summary doom which their
Crimes rtierited.
Who is responsible f>r this torribte drimV.
—this fiendish invasion ola peaceful commu
nity—this long meditated treason and plot to
enlist thousands in a civil and servile war
against the laws and government of their coun
: try ? What might have been its horrible conse
quences, but tor the ignorance of the conspira
tors respecting the condition and feelings of the
slaves, and the tardiness of their fanatical allies?
\\ hat wide-spread scenes ol rapine,murder and
crimes still more horrible, might have marked
th'-ir progress, had their confederates rushed to
the place of action before the military could
liave reached the fi-!d ? Who is responsible for
the thousands of gold and silver, expended foi
arms and amunition, which had been brought
and concealed near the place of this outbreak ?
Is not the animus of this horrid ti aged)' in
i spired by the unscriptural dogma, that slave
t holding is a crime, "a sin" or "an offence?"
Is not the fanaticism of the conspirators the cul
minating point, the development of the malign
spirit, which has severed the bonds of Christian
fellowship among brethren, created alienations,
divided churches, and rent societies, formed to
evangelize and bless the country and the world
—and which :s now seeking to control the pow
ers of Church and State throughout the land ?
And have not many who write for the religious
press, many appointed to preach the Gospel,
contributed totuat diseased state of inind which
inspired Brown and his allies for the work of
death ! Are there not many who have contr h
uted to this deplorable result, by teaching, for
religion, a doctrine which Christ and his disci
ples do not teach? As remarked by another—
"the scenes of the recent tragedy warn us that
the men engaged in it could not have become
monomaniacs upon a subject that has no basis in
the thoughts ola multitude. Without the irrita
tions anci heartburnings engendered by the
'slavery controversy,' we should not have been
called to witness transactions culminating in
such an excess of infatuation and malignity."
Are there not thousands who, before the all
searching eye of Jehovah, may be held guilty
of ministering to the malignant spirit which
has thus sought revenge in deeds of unprovoked
murder and treason ?
THE BLACK MILITIA OF REPUBLICANISM.
Can anything more forcibly illustrate the
spirit and the aims of the Black Repulican
Opposition than the proceedings of that fac
tion, now dominant in the Legislature of Mas
sachusetts ? By a strict party vote they have
struck out the woid "white" from the militia
laws, so as to create a military organization in (
direct conflict with the laws of Congress. The
Boston Poet says :
"Thus the Republicans of Massachusetts .
evince their settled determination to NULLI- (
FY the laws of the Union, so far as Massachu
setts is concerned. It is condemnation enough
to say of this proceeding that it is flatly un
constitutional , and perfecly suicidal to our
patriotic volunteer militia. Gen. Butler made
a long, eloquent and conclusive speech on the
question of this absurd amendment, in which
lie arraigned severely the course ol anti-slavery
agitators, and traced the connections between
their fanaticism and the terrible scenes at
Harper's Ferry. This action, virtually enroll
ing blacks in the militia, is important enough 4
3 (o be presented to Gov. Banks by itself. The
i amendment only awaits his approval to be a
i law of the Commonwealth that colored citizens
I are portions of the militia. What next f"
| paralyzedT
The Scriptures tell us that Ananias and his
' wile were struck dead tor telling a falsehood.
Senator Wilson, ot Massachusetts, came very
j near meeting u-ilh the same late on Tuesday
night, while delivering a speech to the Young
Men s Biack Republican association at New-
York. While speaking, he said :
"The excesses of the French revolution laid
i at the door ol the rulers, who had goaded the
people to madness, anil in the same way the
scenes at Harper's Ferry were chargeable to
the slavehoiding power. What has been the
action ol the slave power during the last few
. years ! Our country was divided into two
great forces. You may call it the irrepressible
conflict or what you please. Gu the one hand
there is the proposition to extend slavery : on
tne other to restrict it. The Slave power
ha seized t he Democratic party in this country,
and has used it for the extension of slavery.
Theie has sprung up a party in opposition to
it, accepting the doctrines of the revolutionary
fathers, when the men who laid the founda
tions ot the governments stood "
At this point, in the midst of an unfinished
sentence, Mr. IV ilson was seized with an at
j tack of vertigo, and fell back upon his seat.—
j He was immediately surrounded by his Iriends,
j restoratives administered, and as soon he was
able to walk, supported by two gentlemen, he
wasted to a carnage, and conveyed to his
rooms at the Astor House. He will be fully
restored in a day or two.— Pa.'riot Sf Union.
GEfißl r SMITH, ■'
Some of the Republican papers deny that
Geint Smith, who was one of the fomenters of
j the Harper's Ferry conspiracy', was ever a Re
publican member of Congress. In reply to this
denial, the New York Express, an American
journal says:
"We must confess to an inexplicable difficul
ty in li.-tinguishing between AbolitionLts and
Republicans! * * * * *
t rue, Smith ran against Morgan Gubernatorially,
but Smith wanted the nomination himself, and
his run thus was only personal. If Smith had
won the nomination, would not the whole Re
publican party have cheerfully supported him?
"But, when a distiict, a stiong, violent Re
publican district, such as ttiat of Madison and
Oswego, ejects such a man as Gerrtt Smith to
Congress, and would have re-elected him, but
for his resignation—what are we to cail this pro
duct cf Republicanism ?"
The tact that a strong Republican district,
which gave Fremont a large majority, should
elect Air. Smith to Congress, proves that he is
the representative ol the Republican sentiment
beyond any The Repuolicans can not
throw oil now, after such an indorsement.
MISCELLANEOUS.
"SEVEN YEARS."
Winchell .-en !s us the 101 l wing, which 'ain't
pretty bad." "One day rot long since, the
accomodation train from Cleveland to Colum
bus had ajconvict on board, who was being ta
ken by an officer to the penitentiary located at
the last named place. The prisoner was cov
ered with a cloak which concealed from v.ew
the shackles upon his wrists. He sal—slightly
bowed—looking very glum, and probably re
flecting upon the rather narrow prospects be
fore him. A New England Yankee on the ]
train had his curiosity particularly excited by
what he inferred to b* a coniideiable weight
on the spirit of the convict ; so he approached
him with the intent to elicit, if possible, such
information as would gratify his curiosity. The
following are the questions he propounded, and
the answers thereto :
"Goin' ter Kiumbus ?"
"Yes," (GrulHy.)
"Goin' entry turder ?"
"No."
"Goin' ter stop in Kiumbus ?"
"Yes."
"Goin' ter see eany friends there ?"
"No."
"Goin' ter du enny kind o' work there ?"
"Yes."
"Goin' ter start bisness on your own hook ?"
"No."
"What are ye goin' there for ?"
"Going for seven years."
The Yaukee's curiosity was almost satisfi
ed.
OM ITTiNG TOO MUCH.
A green good-natured, money-making, up
country fellow, who said everything drilv,
'got things fixed,' and struck up a bargain for
matrimony. Having no particular regard for
appearances, the parties agreed to employ a
not over wise country-justice to put on the tack
ling. He commenced the ceremonies by te
marking that 'it was customary on such occa
sions to commence with a prayer but lie believ
ed he would omit that.' After tying the knot
he said it was customary to give the married
couple some advice, but he believed he would
omit that. Jt was customary, too, to kiss the
bride, but he believed he would omit that also.
The ceremony being ended, the bridegroom took
the justice by the button hole, and clapping his
finger on his nose, said "Squire, (it's custom
ary to give the magistrate nve dollars— but I
believe I'll omit that /"
fC? = ""You know. Madam, that you cannot
make a purse out of a sow's ear."
•'Ob, sir, please fan me. I have intimations
of a swoon. When you use that odious speci
men of velgarity again, clothe it in refined phra
seology! You should say it is impossible to fab
ricate a pecuniary receptacle from the auricu
lar organ of the softer sex of the genus hog."
WHOM! \( THICK, 287.T
CURIOI'S FACTS ABOUT PRESIDENTS.
The following compilation of curious coin
cidences in the names and lives of the first sev
en Presidents of the United States, { Washing
ton, John Adams, Jt-fFerson, Madison, Monroe,
John Quincy Adams, and Jackson,) is furnish
ed by tile Boat on Transcript.
"f our of the seven were from Virginia.
Two of the same name were from Massachusetts,
and the seventh was from Tennessee. All but
one were sixty-six years old on leaving office,
having served two terms; and one of them, who
had served but one term, would have been sixty
six sears of age at the end of another. Three
of the seven died on the 4-th of July, and two of
tbem on the same day and year.—Two of them
were on the Sub-Committee of three that draf
ted the Declaration of Independence, and these
two died on the same day and year, and on the
anniversary of the Declaration of Independence,
and just half a century from the day of Decla
ration. The names of three of the "sewn end
in son, yet none of these transmitted his name
to a son. In respect to the name of all, it may
be said, in conclusion, the initials of two of the
seven were the same; and the initials of still
two others were the same. The remaining
one, who stands alone in this particular, stands
alone also in the love and admiration ol his
countrymen and the civilized world—Wash
ington ! Of the first five only one had a son,
and that son was also President.
THE PIG AND THE VENTRILOQUIST.—At Ma
con fair, Comte the ventriloquist, saw a coun
: try woman driving a pig before her, which
con id hardly move, so laden was it with fat.
"What's the price of your pig, my good wo
: man ?' "A hundred francs, my goodlooking
gentleman, at your service, if you wish to buy.*
. "Of course I wish to buy ; but its a great deal
1 too much. I can offer you ten crowns." I
; want oneffiundred francs, no more, and no leas,
take it or leave it." "I am sure your pig is
; more reasonable than you. Tell me, on ycur
conscience, my tine fellow, are you vvorfh one
; hundred francs ?" "iou area long wav out,"
replied the pig, iii a hoarse and hollow voice ;
"I'm not worth a hundred sous. lam measled
and my mistress is tryir.g to take you in."
The crowd that had assembled around fthe wo
man and pig fell back in terror, fancying them
both bewitched, while Comte returned to his
hotel, where the story was told him with sun
dry additions, and he learned that some coura
geous persons had gone up to the woman, beg
ged her to be exorcised, and thus drive the wick
ed spirit out of the pig.— Memoirs of Hou
din.
EIGHTH CENSUS.—We are informed that the
statements which have appeared in several pa
pers respecting the early appointment of assis
tants to take the Census have originate! in a
misconception of the true state of affairs in
connexion with that work. It is not contem
plated, as we learn from good authority, that
the instructions to the marshals will be" issued
before February ; and it is not expected that
thes- officers will anticipate the directions of
the Secretary of the Interior by the appoint
ment of their subordinates in advance. As tha
census will not be commenced before th fiist
day of June next, there is no necessity for
the appointment of the assistants ot the "mar
shals inucb in advance of that period.
A DEEP SPRING.—On the route of the Over
land Mail, about two hundred and eighty miles
east of E! Paso, there is a spring which must
be nearly as deep as the Irishman's well, allu
ded to the other day. This natural hole in the
ground is said to be one hundred and fiftv feet
in diameter, and has been sounded to the "depth
of eight thousand feet without finding bottom f
t lie surface of this large and deep spring is sta
ted to be as smooth as a mountain lake. It is
slightly impregnated with alkali, and contains
five \arieties offish. "Leon Hole" is the name
given to this great hole.
TP*An Irishman was going along the road,
when an angry bull rushed down upon him,
and with his horns tossed him over a fence,
i Irishman, recovering from his fall, upon
looking up saw the bull pawing and tearing up
ihe ground, (as is the custom of the animal when
irritated,) whereupon Pat smiling at him, said:
It it was not for your bowing and scraping, and
your humble apologies, vou brute, faix I should
think that you had thrown me over the fence on
purpose."
GGr'An Irishman, having accidentally bro
ken a pane in a window of a house in Chest
nut Street, attempted as fast as he could to °-et
out o! the way, but he was followed and seized
by the proprieter, who exclaimed :
"Vou broke my window, fellow!—did vou
not ■"
"To be sure T did!—an'didn't y-ou see me
running home for the money to pay you for if?"
Fr p""Oh, my dear," ssid a voung wife just
returned from a ball, "I have learned one of
the inost difficult steps."
"There is a step," replied the husband "(he
most valuable of all, but it is oue I lear vou
will never dare to learn."
'lndeed! what step can that be?"
'Uf is a step info the kitchen
[CP"The Louisville Journal says—"We are
exceedingly sorrv to say that we yesterday saw
a mm get himself bitten by a big rattlesnake
for the sake of having a quart of whisky admin
istered to him. He wasn't killed by either the
bite or the drink."
Some travellers at an inn in Minnesota saw
no the bill of fare, "Fried water chickens." Curi
osity led them to order a dish upon which they
feasted with great relish.—Their taste was not
spoiled when they found that the water chick
ens were frogs.
A LITTLE three-year old on being asked :■
j 'What makf-s you so dirty, sonny?' answered:
1 'Why, lam made of dust, and it works out!'
VOL. 3, NO. 15.