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jJ 0 C t V 11
THE UNSEEN BATTLE-FIEID-
There is an unseen battle-field
In every liuman breast,
Where two opposing forces meet.
And there they seldom rest.
The field is veiled from mortal sight ;
'Tis only sect, by One,
Who knows alone where victory lie?,
When each day's light is done.
One army clusters strong and fierce,
Their chief of demon form ;
His biow is like the thunder-cloud,
His voice the bursting storm.
1! is captains, Pride and Lust and Hate,
Whole troops watch night and day,
Swift to detect the weakest point,
And thiistiiig for the Iray.
Contending with this mighty force.
Is but u little band—
Yet there, with an unquailing front,
Those warriors firmly stand.
Their leader is of godlike form,
Of couutenance serene,
And glowing on his naked hrea-t,
A naked cio-s is seen.
11 is captains. Faith, and Hope, and Love,
Point to that wondrous sign,
And ga/.ing on it, all receive
Strength from a source divine.
They feel it speaks a glorious truth
A truth as great as sure—
That to be victors, they must learn
To love, coufid , endure.
That faith sublime in wildest strite,
Imparts a holy calm—
For every deadly blow a shield,
For every wound a balm.
And when they win the battle field,
Past toil is quite forgot
Ihe plain where carnage once had reigned
Becomes a hallowed spot.
A spot vv here flowers of joy and peace
Spring Irom the ieitilo sod,
And breathe thepeifumeoftheirpra.se
On every breeze —to <od.
TTmuois HOl'U.
I was apprentice 1 to r decorative painter, but
being ofa bold, danger-loving turn, i ian away
to sea before in}' time was out.
Alter some years of knocking about, I got
tired of a maritime hie, and having married an I
determined to stick to the shore, I got work
with a builder whose peculiar line lay in elec
ting tall chimneys, i bad always a very good
bead, and could stand on an elevation that
made most men dizzy, and so I was a favorite
hand with my master.
We had on one occasion, to fasten a light
ning-conductor which bad sprung neat the top
ofa very high chimney, and Mr. Shaming
chose myseil and one James Colly to do it, as
the most daring of his men. About a halt a
dozen ol us went that m >rniug with ah mil-cart,
containing the necessary ropes, blocks, the
kite, and a box or era lie. II iving down the
kite, and dropped its lm ■ across the top ol the
chimneys, we soon drew up a rop--, at the end
of winch was a block,through which ran the
line whereby we w-re to tie drawn up.
Colly had only been married a lortuight ;
and as we stepped into the cradle, the men
arked him if he had'nt a last dying speech to
to leave for his wife ; and then ftli.Straining
liavmg shaken hands wi'll us, and bid us be
coole and steady, we were dtawn slowly up.
It was known all over the town that the con
ductor was to be fixed, though as the day v, a
not named, f did not expect we should have
many spectators but as we got higher, and
the View opened under our feet, I saw the
'.(reels were already thronged with siarers.
Collv was very quiet ; and when I waved my
cap to the people, he laid, snappishly, that tois
was no time for such folly, and that he thought
I might think c*l belter things' than how to
amuse those gaping fools, who, he dared sa }'i
desired no better fun than to see us meet with
an accident.
I had Come un iff fli-e best heart, thinking,
indeed, nothing about flie danger we incurred ,
but as we drew neaier and nearer the lop, and
had nothing, as it seemed, belonging to this
world near us but this strained rope, 1 began to
see the peri' of the undertaking. \Y hat Cully
thought of it, I don't know— he sat at the
bottom of the cradle, never looking out, though
1 told him he would do better to keep hi' eye.,
about him, so that fie might get used to tue
height.
flood Heavens ! what was this 7 Here we
were within a yard of the jjop projecting co
ping, and still they were winding away with
out abaling speed in th" least ! I guessed m a
moment that they mistook our height, and that
with the gr< at purchase of that windlass the
■ j rope would h<- broken when the cradle came tc
the block. I sprang up, and catching the rope,
cll (fibril hand over hand to the coj irw. Colly,
too, sprang up and followed me. If" too, go!
up sate; aiuf still they went on winding up,
till the rope sung again with the strain "there
was up m it.
Then it snapped, and khe craJ!-, hauling
line, and the man rope with its hi •ck I. II down!
I ntis were we two men Kitin a most desperate
situation.
1 ior ( oily was completely dazej with af
bi'li! , and the moment he g.,1 upon the coping
wnich uas only a loot and a halt broad, he
called out : H here can I pray ? where can i
kneel and piay ?'—and so I said very solemnly :
'Sit down Jem, God will hear us it' we pray to
him sitting blown.'
I he color of his face was a transparent blue,
ami it was distorted and twitching, as if he was
in u fit. His eyes were very wild, and drawn
into a squint, and he couldn't sit steady, but
swaying his body backward and forward, so
that I felt certain that he must topple over.
'C ome, Jem, lad,'l said, thinking to take
tiie flight of] him, 'it's bad enough, but it ran
be mended. Hitch up a bit, and put your arm
round the rod—may be it will steady you.'
'Where are you, and where is this rod ? he
asked in a hollow voice, though he was looking
straight at me, and the rod was only a loot or
two to his left. By this I knew he was gone
blind with the fright, and self preservation said
'Don't go near him but then r . remembered
bis new |y wedded wife, and that taking him ail
through ne was always a very decent fellow,
and I thought how I should have liked him to
beve done it [ had oeen his case ; so I de
termined to run a bit of a risk in his favor.—
01 course, 1 durst not stand on my feet : but
working mysellon my hands, I got to liirn, and
putting my arm round his waist, and telling
him as cheerfully as I could to keep cool I got
him with his arm round the rod. It had, how
ever,sprung the sapling for live yard down,"and
was so loose that it swayed with him and I ex
pected every minute to see him falling head
and heels down, and the rod tearing away with
him.
There was a great bustle down below ; peo
ple were rushing round the yard and pushing
to get in, lout as yet there were but s rme score
ol men at the loot ol the chimney, and, by close
looking, i saw them put somebody on a board,
and carry him gently away toward the engine
house. One of the men walked alter them
with a ha! in his hand ; then I knew somebody
bad been hint with the lallen cradle, and that
it must ue poor Staurr.ing, as none of our men
leaFneifaiteriVffu'S thStf m?i Airft <' ■ re to 'v.... J.
lip with sorrow that so good a man and so kind
a master should be killed, that lor a while they
had never thought about us, and the people
outside imagined that we had come down with
the cradle, so thus we were left in total isola
tion tor fill I twenty minutes.
While I was watching them ,below, feeling
very sorry I>r my poor master, I was startled
by a wild laugh from Colly, who began making
catcalls, and yelling as if he was possessed.—
Then J knew, of course, that lie was gone mad.
Even now I tremble to peer down the shaft,
black and sooty and yawning, and scarcely less
so to look outside at the flight of pigeons swee
ping round at considerable less height than we
were. Then Goliv—thank God he was so
dazed tiiat he could not see me—called my
name three times, as 1 sat fairly cringing in
dtvad that his sight might clear, and with a
ghastlv grin, and chewing with his mouth, he
began working himself towards me. 1 worked
away from him noiseles-ly as I could, with
every hair on my head standing on end. He
followed me twice round that horrid coping,
making most hideous noises, and then having
come a second time to the rod, he got an idea
in his muddled head that I had fallen over, for
he never lost a sense ol where he was all
through this trying time. Then he tried to get
Oil Ins feet ; but at the ri-k ol my own life, I
could not let the poor fellow rush on certain
death without one more effort : and I cried out
for him to sit down, and lie cowered down like
a whipped dog, all trembling. I supposed it
had been put into his head that 1 was a dead
man speaking to him.
That morning my wife had got a h-tler from
Canada, and as there were parts we could not
make out, I had put it in my pocket, intending
to our time-keeper to read it for me. 1 had
a scrap of uncovered paper at th* bottom : and
by another good providence, I happened to
have a bit oi red lead pencil in my pocket, —
I wrote on the paper. 'Get us down—Colly s
gone mad, this I shut in my tobacco box, and
was fortunate enough to drop it jus! at the leet
of a couple of men who were standing by the
engine-house door.
Directly all was bustle to rescue us. They
irot the kite up again, and I watched it mount
ing slowly—slowly ; and when the slack twine
let 1 between Coliy and myself, I took it in my
hand and could have kissed it. Poor Colly, with
his teeth chattering, still fancied 1 was a spirit,
and, I did all 1 could to favoi that idea until
they got another cradle up to us. Then having
cot him in, I scrambled in myself, and clutch
iner him fast, shouted for them to lower and
solve were got down, he wrestling and fighting
with me all the way.
He was- ia a madhouse for some months, and
then went to scavengering, lor he can never
lace any height again ; and I have never had the
same clear bead since that adventure.
IVHAT IS BLACK REPUBLIC.IMSM ?
Those who dosiie an answer to the above
interrcatuiy are referred to Massachusetts, the
blacken? of the Black Republican Slates. In
Massachusetts a negro slave who escapes from
the South is permitted to vote alter one year's
residence but a while, man. who comes horn
Europe or Canada, is not allowed to vote until
two years alter he has become legally, by
naturalization, a citizen of the United States.
BEDFOHD, TA., FRIDAY JULY 29, 1859.
" ui ■ 1 ■ ■■ ■ '-"-nri HI iimi ~ w^wt
[From the New Orleans Picayune.]
THC LATE OUTRAGES IN MEXICO.
President Buchanan Formalin Demands
Satisfaction.
Our attentive correspondent at Vera Cruz
transmits to us the following despatch address
e l to the Government of Miramon, at the Cih
of .Mexico, by our .Minister, iMr. McLane, ot
the subject of the T iciibaya massacre. As oui
correspondent well .••ays, "its importance can
not well be over estimated." It is a forma! de
mand, and in the name of the President of the
United States, ot satis/action for the atrocities
and indignities committed upon American citi
zens during those days of terror in Mexico.—
And followed up, as we may hope it will be.
by decided action on the part of our Govern
ment, it will at once silve this whole question,
which has of late given us so much trouble.—
We do not see, indeed, how there can honora
bly be any backing out now, till our long ag
grieved rights are once tor all redressed, repara
iion fir the past obtained, and security given
for the future :
U. S. LEGATION, VERA CRUZ,
June 11, 1859.
Slß: —The undersigned, Envoy Extraordi
nary and Minister Plenipotentiary of the Uni
ted States near the Republic ot Mexico, hav
ing called'he attention of the Government of
the United States, to certain cruelties perpetra
ted at Tacubaya, on the 11th and 12th of April,
15.).-, by persons acting under the authority of
the Government, having the seat of its power
at the city of Mexico, of which General Mira
mon is the Chief Executive, and of the with
drawal of the exequators heretofore issued to
consuls of the United States in Mexico: and
having informed it that several citizens of the
1 riited States have been victims of these cruel
ties, three of whom, Doctors John Duval, Ig
nicio Ritchie and Albert Limon, were physi
cians actually in attendance upon the sick and
wounded in the military hospitals, and two
others, unoffending youths under age, has been
instructed to address to you the earnest remon
strance that the occasion calls for.
Ihe President ol the L luted States has ex
imined tli!3 subject with deep concern and an
anxious desire to adopt the necessary measureSj
not only to procure tilt punishment of the per
;o(r . Van? Xvdjenormities, but also to pro
-lates it-sicling in tfle n..- c •, ?t _t
lie feels in common with his countrymen,
jrcat indignation that these citizens ol the U
nited States should have been murdered under
such atrocious circumstances as to met it the
reprobation ol the civilized world.
In the peaceful recognition of the Constitu
tional Government, without any I >rcib!e inter
vention, the Government of the United States
exercised an unquestioned right under the law
ol nations which gave no cause ofoffence to the
opposite party contending for power over the
countrv and did not authorize interference with
the Consuls of the United States in the discharge
of their consular functions in their respective
districts, and least of all could that political
measure justify, or in any way excuse, the
shocking barbarities whose condemnation is now
passing through the world; although the posi
tion now occupied by the United Slates, with
respect to Mexico, precludes any formal diplo
matic intercourse with those exercising power
in the City of Mexico, who are not recognized
as constituting the Government of the Repub
lic, yet the enormities are of such an unusual
nature as to justify unusual proceedings.
Therefore, the undersigned, by the express
instructions of his Government, calls your at
tention to these outrages, in violation of the
common rights of humanity as well as of s il
eum treaty obligations, perpetrated under cir
cumstances that justify this direct remonstrance,
that the shedding of Wood may be stayed, the
personal rights of citizens of the United States
respected, and the atrocious criminals who have
brought disgrace upon their country duly pun
ished. This measure is due to the character of
those exercising power in the City ol Mexico,
not less than to .the character of the Repub
lic.
SJ far as citizens of the United State 3 have
been the victims of there violations of natural
rights and treaty stipulations, they will he held
in remembrance, and redress will be demanded,
and ultimately obtained therefor, whatever
may be the result of this remonstrance.
The President of the United States has read
with much satisfaction, a communication ad
dressed to the undersigned, under date of the
22d April, 1859, by the Minister of Foreign
A (Fairs of the Constitutional Government,
which is recognized by the United States as
the imperial Government ol Mexico, pronoun
cing its unqualified condemnation of these repre
hensible proceedings, and also conveying as
surance of its determination to put a stop to
them, and to do its duty to a friendly power.
Nevertheless, he considers it proper, as has al
ready been stated, that a direct remonstrance
should be addressed to those who are immedi
ately responsible for the outrage and indignities
that are the subject of this communication, that
the civilized world may know upon whom
rests tiie responsibility of disturbing the ordi
nary relations of amitv and friendship that has
been established and guaranteed by treaty stipu
lations between Mexico and the United States,
and which the best efforts ol the Governments
of the two Republics have failed to maintain,
in consequence ot the reckless and inhuman
excesses of those now acting in the City ot
Mexico, under the authority ot the Govern
ment referred to, and with which you are as "
jsociated as Minister of Foreign Affairs.
The undersigned has the honor to subscribe
himself, very respectfully, your obedient serv't..
Freedom cf Thousand Opinion.
j fSij<) ROBERT M. McLANE.
'To I Excellency Manuel Diez de Boniiia.
Aiister ol Foreign Affairs in the Covern
mt of which Gnn, Miramon is Chief
Ecutive, City ol Mexico.
LVIODI'CTION OF EXOTIOS—EXPERI
IMNTS WITH THE GRAPE VINE
NO WITH THE TEA PLANT,
Alng the many squares that are not
squac in the plan of this city, is one of live
acresjounded on the North by Missouri ave
nue, \ the East by Four and a hall street, on
?h- by the can,al, and on the West by
Sixth - Less than a year ago this square
was tie better than a inarsh or morass; but
it is FVV fait arsuming form and beaut}'. Tile
dramg has rendered the soil dry, warm and
friabl and ingenious culture is developing up
on thsurface products that have seldom hith
erto tea lound in close proximity. Here are
younjbut prospering grape vines from EI Paso,
hoiri.rkansas, and irom other States ol the
Unit Kas well as from Hungary and Egypt,
all toe tested in various ways, but especially
by cperiments having lor their object the
blendig ol varieties by hybridization, in order
(bat |e American retaining its vigor and ex
uberace, may have its acerbity, its "ferocity,"
as it sometimes expressed, subdued through
the ISuence of the older cultivated grapes of
otherffimes; or that these may be reinvigorated
throuh the influence of the more hardy Ameri
can vneg. 'J'he Egyptian varieties—the "seed
less".ml the "lady finger"—ol which there
are e?bt or ten thousand plants, have been in
trodiied by means of cuttings, the El Paso, ot
whici there are one or two hundred thousand,
have been produced Irom 3eed. Here also is a
forestof tiny [lines, an inch or two in height,
sprnrof tram seeds brought Irom the Pacific
coast.and native plum trees, from seeds ob
tained in Arkansas and in Texas; and radishes
Irom t'hina; onions from Egypt; "Melochia,"
an Egyptian soup plant, the leaves of which
are ejceedingly mucilaginous and agreeable in
llavor The Pyrethrum caucasicum, the dried
flower lieads of which produce the far famed
vermin destroying powder; the wax bearing
Rhuz of Japan, the product ol which has re
cently created some sensation in commerce;
the hemp palm from China, of which a grass
cloth is made; the oh a liagrans, ol China, Irom
which the better varieties ol tea derive their
rich aroma; the seedless pomegranate of Egypt,
highly ojjzed because it is seedless; the cam
phor trl the cork \Tw* "England;
w ui'T v'' ; w ■ ivi'fifef 111iy well headed, and
prolific in seeds, and remarkable because ol
their peculiar cultivation; American oaks Irom
the acorn; tke American larch, Here, too
may be seen, as developed in this locality, the
products ol one hundred and twenty three >am
ples of wheat collected from every region ol
the globe, similar experiments with the same
series being in progress in central Pennsylva
nia arid in Texas—wheat bearded anil wheat
beardless, wheat of marvelous variations ol ap
pearance, all attended by the beneficial
coccinellidre, which are busily employed in
devouring the plant lice and other parasites by
which the wheat is attacked; and an apiary ol
choice bees, we are informed, is soon to be ap
propriately added to this scene of ingenuity
and industry. But the crown glory of all is
comprised in the exhibition, within an admi
rably constructed propagating house, to which
the warmth cf steam or tire has never been ap
plied, ol more than fifty thousand healthful,
thriving, and beautiful Tea Plants, the seeds
of which have been received from China,
within a lew months. Some ol these plants
are just peeping above the soil, while others,
more superficially covered with earth in the
cases, germinated during the voyage, and are
now a loot or more in height. We are thus a
bout to determine practically the two told prob
lem, whether tea culture is possible and may
be rendered profitable in the United States—a
problem once discussed in its quality respect
ing wool, again respecting Sorgho sticre, re
specting improved breeds ol bovine animals,
and respecting almost everything good and
valuable that we [assess in agriculture. If
was well said by the honorable Secretary ol
the Interior, in his last annual report, that ";n
a country possessed ol so great a variety ol soil
and climate it was wise to essay the propaga
tion of every nlant affording a hope ol useful
ness-;-especially as such success would more
than compensate for all the cost and trouble
attending many instances ot failure." We
trust the present experiment may prove a happy
exemplification of this remark, and not only a
source of immediate advantage to our country*
but also a stimulus to further enterprises of a
like character. The public should feel a deep
interest in the cause of agriculture: and it
gives us pleasure to commend it to the contin
ued and increasing encouragement ol the peo
ple, of Congress, and ol the national Adminis
tration.— Washington Constitution.
head clerk of a large mercantile
house was bragging rather largely of the a
mounl of business done by hjs firm.
"You may judge ol its extent," said he
"when I tell you that the quills for our corre
spondence only cost two thousand dollars a
year."
"Pooh!" said the clerk of another house,
who was sitting by, "what is that to our cor
respondence, when I save four thousand dol
lars a vear in ink, from merely omitting to dot
the 'i's J"
The lovir's puzzle. —To learn to read the fol
lowing, so as to make good sense is the mys
tery :
I thee read see that me.
Love is down will I'll have
But that and von have you'll
One and up and you if
THE JAPANESE PRIZE RING. i
No spectacle in Japan is complete or even I
possible, in which both spectators ami perform
ers do not make several changes of costume.—
On the stage this is a matter of course with ac
tors and actresses, but it is also extended to the
audience. Ladies who go to the piay are ac
companied by numerous servants and a magni
ficent wardrobe ; and in the course of the spec
tacle, which begins in the morning and ends
late at night, they retire several times, and
when they return, it is in new and gorgeous at
tire.
The wrestlers are dresssed and led out for
show, and then they are undressed again ; and
a space b u ing prepared, and a ring formed, they
are divided into two different parties. These
two parties stand in the ring glaring at one
another ; then lh<*y tramp heavily backward and
forward so as to show tbeir points, and enable
spectators to make up their betting books.
After this they retire, and all with the ex
ception of two, are again clothed in full dress,
ond take up their position on the front seats
round the ring. The two who have oeen reser
ved now come forward with the simple cloth
jound round their loins, and walk with slow and
leliberate steps into the centre of the ring.—
rbey stand eyeing each other u itb a wary look,
glaring wtih a brutal ferocity, each watching a
dunce to catch tiis antagonist oti his guard.—
\nd as a savage nature comes more and more to
he surface, they assume the look and even the
movements of two wild bulk.
As they continue to eye each other, they
itamp heavily on the ground, pawing the earth,
is it were, with impatience, and then they stoop,
trasp handfuls of earth and fling it with an an
jrv toss over their backs. They crouch down
ow, still keeping their eve 3 fixed one on the
)ther, and watching each movement ; then in
i moment there is a sudden spring, a great shock
is the massive frames strike each other, a re
jound, and then the two monsters become one
uonster with many limbs heaving and strug
gling, with great muscles rising in distinct out
line, with bluatei faces, and gushes of purple
jlood.
Prize fighting in Japan is very much like
prize lighting in England. But perhaps in Ja
pan they recognize the nature of the exhibitior
more truly than we do, and it is quite in char
acter with the rest of the scene, and a legiti
mate demonstration, when the next antagonist
lowers bis head, and rushes at his opponent, bel
lowing like a hull. Let us leave the wrestlers
they will all struggle in succession, and with s
and v.-ni'treTeA off ?n fituYf^Yi. wh VM n
meanwhile, instead of talking slang and looking
disreputable, like the frequenters of F.nghsl
prize fights, will go home to music, and poetry
and water parties.
Perhaps in the evening of the same day w
shall find them in company of ladle*, sitting b\
a cool running stream orpn a shady grove, eaci
with a book! The book may be of poetry, o
containing religious and moral apophthegms.—
Household Words.
The Lute Accident on the Southern Michi
gan Railroad.—Horrible Scenes. — \V r . J. Hawk
Esq., ofCharlestown, Va., furnishes the Fre<
Press with a thrilling account of the late horri
ble accident on the Southern .Michigan railroad
Mr. Hawks, after stating that he was a passen
ger, and that he was swept forty yards dowr
the stream fiom where the train was precipita
ted into it, says :
On reaching the shore I stumbled over a mar
—turned and Ibund him alive—l asked him hi;
name. He replied "Walworth." I could nol
raise him, and went to the cars for assistance,
passing ten or twelve dead bodies on the beach
Arriving at the wreck I found some one hail
procured a light—returned and found Wal
woith dead. He was a large, fine looking old
gentlemen, 1 al'erwards assisted his son in hi:
last moments.
The first thing that arrested my attention or
entering the car that I had left was that I was
standing on a pile of dead bodies. One ir.an ]
thought alive and gazing into my face, f tur
ned the lamp around, and the glazed eye ol
death told me that all was over. A lady had
her arm around his neck, with a frightful wounc
in her head, her feet caught and crushed in tin
in the wheels of the car. Others, caught and
crushed bv the falling timbers, begged me tc
kill them ani put them out of their misery.—
There was a lady, going to meet her husband,
with her daughter six years old, and a babe at
the breast. The mother and little girl were
killed. The mother had clasped the babe in
such a manner that it was unhurt.
The ground was strew e ljwith heads, arms
legs and dead bodies. I saw several with theii
hacks broken and their lower limbs paralyzed,
writhing in the sand. Some of tlmm would
as 1 passed with a grasp from which
it was almost impossible to free myself. Seve
ral beautiful boys and girls were taken from tin
water drowned, but looked beautiful in death.
Others were crushed between tfie wheels, with
their faces and hands {upturned in a supplica
ting manner. I passed a woman who "begged
me' to find her children." She was crying.
"Oh ! my dear family ! Oh my six children."
Both her legs were crushed off below the knee.
She lived about ten or fifteen minutes. I after
wards assisted in taking two of her children
trom the wreck dead. Two more fine boys of
hers were found —one with his leg cut off ; the
other had lest an anr., and both were living
when I left.
[GP"A lawyer who was sent to prison for
j obtaining money under false pretence, was pla
ced in a shoe-making department. Upon a
| iriend visiting him he declined all sympathy
but desired to be congratulated on the fact that
he had risen from the bar to the bench.
WHOLE NUMBER 2860.
REASONS FOP. DRINKING.— Mr. A. drinks
because his lias recommended *him to
drink.
Mr. B. because his doctor hac ordered him
not to, and fie hates quackery.
.Mr. C. takes it because he's Wet.
Mr. D. because he's dry.
Mr. H. because he feels something rising in'
his stomach.
Mr. F. because lie feels a ki.til'of sinking in
his stomach.
Mr. G. oecause he's got a friend come home
from Australia.
Mr. 1. because lie's so hot.
Mr. K. because he's so cohh
Mr. L. because he's got a pain in his back.
Mr M because he's got a pain in fiis side.
Mr. N. because he's got a pain in his head.
Mr. O. because he's got a pain in his breast.
Mr. .I'. because tie's got a pain all over him.
Mr. Q. because he feels light and happy.
Mr. R. because he feels heavy and miserable.
Mr. S. becairse he's married.
Mr. T. because he is'nt.
Mr. U. because no one will have him.
Mr. \. because he likes to see his friends
around him.
Mr. W. because he's got no friends, and
enjoys a glass by himself.
Mr. N . because his uncle felt him a lpgacy.
Mr. Y. because his aunt cut him off with a
shilling.
Mr. Z.—We should be happy to inform our
readers what Mr. Z's reasons are for di inking,
but on putting the question to him, he was
found to be too drunk te answer.
Poetic —A Germanic poet gets off a wonder
ful lyrical parody—the sentiments of which we
cannot endorse. Mr. Von Krouples entitles
it
HOME, DREAD HOME !
Dcr oder side of ''Home, Sh fleet Home."
'Mid par rooms un bier cellars dough ve may
roam,
Ve vinds dem much gooter more pleasant as
home,
Vor noting but scholting un shqualling is dere,
Vich, go drough der vorld, you can nix meet
elsewhere.
Home ! home ! dread home !
Dere is no bease at borne !
Dere is no bease at home !
A veller vrom home, un grief haunts him in
vain,
So give me the old fashioned par room again ;
Dere vrients singing shVeetly voud trink at mv
call,
Dere is no bt ase at home !
Dere i i ; no Lease at home !
WHY THE KING OF NAPLES IS CALLEDBOMEA.
—The term Bomba is often misinterpreted as
having some allusion to bombardments. It is
not so. In Italy, when }'on tell a nran a thing
which he knows to be false, or when he wishes
to convey to you an idea ofthe utter worthfess
-11 ess of anything or person,, he puffs out his
cheek like a bagpiper's in full blow, smites it
with his forefinger, and allows the pent up
breath to explode, with the exclamation of
"Bomb-a." I have witnessed the gesture and
heard the sound. Hence, after 1819, when
legal oaths in the name of the Most Holy
Trinity were found to be as worthless as beg
gar's in the name of Bacchus or the Madouna,
when Ferdinand was derceived to be a wofth
less liar, his quick-witted people whispered his
name. He was called King Boinba, King
Puflcheek^K ing Liar, King Knave. The name
and tiis character were then so much ict
harmony that he hasVver since, retained it.
THE President of a certain College was
getting too old to fill his chair witfVthe greatest
advantage to the Institution, but the old gentle
man held on—nothing would induce him to
resign ; so at a College supper, a wag gave the
following toast: "President L , endowed
with every virtue but that of resignation /"
Schoolmaster abroad. —"Mother," said a lit
tle chap, "what is this word, is it Valen
tines ?"
"No, no," replied the knowing mother ,"it's
Val-en-tiners ; here you have been to school
for six months, and can't give the right pronun
cification to words yet!"
"Well you see, mother, you went to school
for a longer spelt than I did !"
KF"A lady sent tor a doctor, in great trouble,
to say she tiad a frightful dream, and had seen
her grandmother.
"What did you eat for supper, Madam ?"
"A mince pie, Doctor."
"Had you eaten two you would have ifeen
your grandfather too."
[£p"Aunt Kosy was dividing a mince pie a
mong the boys, when dim who had wickedly
pulled the cat's tail, asked [for his share, the
dante replied, "No, dim,you area wicked boy,
and the Bible says there is no piece for the
wicked."
Gent.—"Why don't yohjgo fo work
and stop picking your nose ?"
Boy. —"It's mij nose, ain't it ? anil it's the
Fourth ot July, too. I'll pick thunder out of
it, if I've a mind to."
ff# F= "Old Guzzel says if he could have his
choice of three things, he should choose, first,
plenty of tobacco, secondly, a good stock ot
inm, and thirdly, he should choose some inore
i urn.
f£p*The chap who plucked the feathers from
the wing of a house, has recently converted
his bat into a brick yard.
When rogues give a dance, the devil is
sure lo play the fiddle.
VOL 2, NO. 52.