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"HHHSr
A TOUCHING ADVENTURE ON THE COAST
OF NEWFOUNDLAND.
[The following story we extract from a new
novel, entitled, "The New Priest in Concejt
lion Bay," in Two Vols., Price, $1.75; publish
ed by Messrs. Phillips, Sampson N. Co., Boston.
The authorship (•! the work is attributed to Rev.
Roht. T. S. I/rWell, brother of the Poet Lowell.
Skipper George's Story is but one of !he many
similar gems with which the work abounds.—
The poetic grace of the style, and the absorbing
interest of the story are highly pleasing.]
"Yon have the * est lookou! in the neighbor
hood," sai<l Mr. Debree, walking to the spot on
which Skipper George hart been standing and
looking abroad from it. "'Rlii* tree did'nt grow
here,'' said be, looking up at the grey trunk
glistening in the moonlight.
"No sir; 't was set there," sail I lie* fisher
man.
"T> i! a landmark V
"'Tis, sir, it may be, in a manner; "but not
fur s'ilnn on those waters. "T was set theie
when riches was taken avv'v. Riches came a
gain, but 't was laved, for 'e'd larned partlv
how to value riches."
The gentl'inan looked, as the moonlight
showed, interested!v at the speaker : "Another
story with a lesson in if T' he said, "If it were
not lor keeping you out so late, I would usU
vou to do me the favor of telling it."
"Av, sir," said Skipper George. "I said
there were amany lessons sent us. This one
coined nearer to me again than the lot her.— J
hope I've lamed sometbun by that stoi\ !
Fishermen don't heed night hours mucn; but it's
i.lte fur vou as Well, si". Mob re 'ee'd plase to
walk inside a bit ?" he asked, wilh modest ur
gencv, "It's a short story, only a heavy one!"
"Another time, perhaps," said the strange
gentleman; "not now, if you'll excuse m.-: but
if it would'nt be too much trouble 1 would (bank
you for it where we are. One hour or another
is much the same to me."
At the first words of this answer, Skipper
George turned a iook of surprise r.t the stranger,
and when the latter had finished speaking,
asked:
"Be 'i c davun hereabouts,then, sir ?"
Perhaps iie ma\ have thought it stiange that
one who looked so like a clergyman should be
stay iiig for anv length of time in the neighbor
hood, without being better known.
"i am a clergyman," said the gentleman
frankly; "but not of your church; and 1 don't
feel free until I'm better known."
Skipper George apparently weighed the an
swer. fie did not urge his invitation; but his
open face became char and kindly as ever.
'•Then, sir," said he, "ef 'ee'd plase to be
seated 'here j I'd tell the >tory. I know it well."
Before beginning it the fisherman cast a look
at his house, and then gazed awhile upon the
restless waves which here glanced with the
gleam ol trt acherous eyes, and there were dark
as death.
"Do 'ee mind about ten years ago, in New
foundland, sir ?" began Skipper George, turning
I is steady eyes to his hearer, and speaking as if
the date or t lie v ars since the date bad been
painful to him; "the hard year that was when
thev bad the'rails,' they railed em
"Yes; though I was in England at the time,
T know piettv well what happened in New
foundland. It was a sad time."
"Av, sir, 't was a sad time. Many people
suffered: some wanted food, and more agrn got
broken in spirit, (and that's bad for a man.) and
some jot lawless like. 'T uas a sad time in
deed!" Skipper George having lingered thus
before his tale,began it abruptly : "Well, sir,
'twas on tlie sixtppnth day of Januaiv—a
Thursday 'l w as—l was acomun down Back
side fiom the Gosh, hau'ling a slide load o* tim
ber, an' mv youngest son wi' me. It had abeen
a fine day, first gonn off, (for aw inter's day,)
wi'jiift a flurry o' snow now and agen, and a
rival o'snow on the ground, tuii about after
noon it began to blow from about west, and bv
nothe, or thereaway, heavy and thick, and
giowun heavier an' heavier, an' hitter cold.—
Oh !'t was bitter cold .' We did'nt say much
t get her, George an' I, but we got along so last
as ever we could. 'T was about an hour or
two before night, mubbe; and George says to me,
'L>t's lave the slide, father!' 'T uasn' but we
could ha'kep' on wp it, though't was tairible
cold, hard work; but'twas sometbun else!
"So we turned the slide out o' the way and
laved her, and corned on. 'T was blownn gales
up over Backside; we could sca'ce keep our feet;
an' 1 hard somethun like a voice—l suppose I
v ' as Ihinkun o' voices—an' I brought rrght up
tn ! he wind. 'T was just like beiin at sea, in a
manner, and a craft drivin' right across our
wake, an' would ha' been out o' sight an' hear
on in a minute. Then I knnwd by the sound
was tlie- Minister— (we didn't have e'er a rev
' rpjJ gentleman of our own in the days; but
H lived over in Sandv Harbor and 'e'd nose to
"o all round the Bay.) We could sca'ce bide
' 'gether, but I was projwr g'ad to meet un,
1 ' >r a minister's a comfort, V know sir;) and
e said, '/? nnt/bot/y 0"f V 'There's two o'
brother Izik's orphans, sir, I'm aleared, and
■J others along vvi' 'em,' I said. S> 'e said, God
help them ! Where are your two oiher bovs,
James and MaunselH' 'Along wi' brother
Izik's two,' I said. 'T was blowtin larrible hard,
and cold, ana thick; and the minister turned
wi' us, and we corned up, ploddun through the
drifiun snow, and over the nidge. When we
opened the door, first mother thought there was
four of us: and so she said, 'James!' for "we
were all snowed over; hut she s'id there was
only three, and 't was the minister wi' us two.
So she begged his pardon, anJ told un our }x>or
boys were out agunnun, and she was an old
punt they had. VVe were (far we
didn' think o' nawthin hut the bus) when two
coined into the door, all white wi' snow.—
' T wasn'they twOj sir, but 'twas my rievy
J esse and another. 'Haven't they coined V 'e
said. 'Dear, what's keepuitthey V
"Jes-e had abin out, too, wi' Iziic Mafieen
and Zippin Merchant, and they were over to
back-side o' Sandy Harbor together; on'y our
poor young men were about three parts of a
mile tinther down, mubbe. So, when it coined
on to blow, Jesse and his crew made straight
lor Back Cove and got in, though they were
weak-handed, fur one had hurled his hand
wrist—and so, in about three hours, they got
round bv land, and thought the (other poor fel
lows would do so well. 'Whit can us do f*n
cle Geoige ?''e said; for he's a proper true
hearted man, sjr, and 'e was a'mos' cryun.—
'First, we can pray,' said the minister; and so
he said a prayer. 1 make no doubt I was tliin-
Uun too much over the poor young fellows: and
the wind made a tarrible great bellowing down
the chimley and all round the house, and so J
was ruther aw'y from it more an'd I ought.—
Then the Minister and Jesse and I started out.
.My mistress didn' want me to go: but 1 couldn'
bide; and so afore we'd made much w'y up
haibor agen the w inu and growun dark, (though
't wasn' snovvun,) we met a-man coinun liom
(other side, A bran, Frank; and 'e said last that
was set (i of our four was, they were piillun in
for 11 >b!iis' iJ j|e, and then somlhun seemed to
give-way like, wi' one of 'em rovvnn, and then
they gave over and put her aw'y before the
wind, and so as long as tlmv could see anything
of'en , one was standun up sculiun astarn.—
(l'hat was my James, sii !")
A very long, gently breatlied sigh here ma le
its-!! |-aid in t'le d-ep hush, and as Mr. "!)••
bree turned, he saw thesweet face of Skippei
George's daughter turned up to her father, wit!
tears swimming in both eyes and glistening or
her cheek. She had come up behind, and n;
possessed herself quietly of !ier tatlo-r's tiarel.
"So we tnrijed back, and the minister wi' us
;'t was a cruel night to tie out in.) and the wint
almost took and lifted us, and sot us down - by
the loot 'o the path over the rudge; but whet
we got atop here, and it conied athwart, i
brought us ail down kneelun, and we caul
scarce get nvrr tn the dodr. The poor m 'the
got up hom the chimiey-corner and came for
ward, but she needn' a-k anythin'; and then
was a pretty young thing by '-he fire, (thi
girl was a little thing, asleep, but there was ;
pretty young thing there,) that never got up o
looked round; 't was Milly Kegsle, that wa
trothpl'ght to James. They was to have beei
married in a week, ef tfie Lord willed; an,
't was for 'e's house we were drawan out th<
timber. She just rocked herself on the bench
She's gone, long enough ago. now sir!
"So the Minister took the Book and read ;
hit. 1 heard un and I didn' hear un; lor I wa;
AW'y out upon the stormy waters wi' the JKJO!
young men. Oh, what a night il was! it's n<
use! blowun and blowun and Ireezun, and ict
all along shore to leeward !
"Well, then, sir, about two hours 'o nigh
there corned a lull, an ! then there was a pusr
or shake at the door, and another—and anolfiei
and another— (so it was, we a'l thought,
and then the door banged open. 'l' was naw
thin hut cold blasts coined in, and then a lull
a gen for a second or two. So [ shut to the door:
and the poor mother broke out acryun, an I
poor Milly f 'I over and slipped right down
upon the hearthstone. We had a heavy lime
of it that night, sir; but when the door hanged
open that time, ibis child, that was a little
then, Ivun upon -the bench sleepun, made a
soart of gurgle like, w hen the first sound
corned to the door,and when the flaws o' wind
corned in she smiled and smiled agen, and
laughed a- ef a body m'y besayun pootv things
toher in d'y time. Jesse sid it, and plucked
me by the coatsbvvp, and I sid it, to.
"Well, sir, night passed : 'ee may be sure we
didn' sleep much on'y cat nap ; and one or
twice I hilled into a kind of dvvall, and star
ted, Ihinkun Ihey wasspeaku.n to me. Mornun
coined slow and cold, coldf r than night. So
the neighbors corned in at mourn, and sat by :
and now and agen one 'ould say they were line
voung men : and after a bit another'd say James
was a brave heart, and how he saved a boat's
cr -w three years ago, scuilen them into [J'y
H.irb' r ; and so they said how h- began to 'each
in Sundav School Sunday before ; and how
brave 'e was, when they sid the Inst of un sen 1-
Itin aw'y round the point and over the b'y, for
t'other side, or Belle-Isle, or some place to lee
ward. So they saiil James 'ould lake 'em safe,
plase God, and we'd hear of'em SOIJIP place over
the b'y in a d'y or two.—Then they said they
wondered ef the voting men could keep from
Ireezun their hands, and said mubbe thev
wouldn'git' touched, for they was well clo
thed, and James 'ould keep op their spirits, and
brother lzik's little George was a merry boy,
and great play-game for the rest ; an my Maun
sell and 'e's tother cousin, John, were steady
young men, and wouldn'give up very easy;
but thev w-re both quiet, and looker! up to
James though John was a good l it older.
"Wull, sir, the day went on, cold, cHd an'
blowun heavy, an' the water black an white,wi'
while shores, 3n' slop-ice all along ; an' more,
agen, an' heavier, to leeward, sartently. We
could n' stir hand or foot that day, nor next;
hut the Lord's day came in softer, an' we got
a good crew an' a stout punt to saicli for the four
BEDFORD, PA, FRIDAY MORNING, FEBRUARY IS, 1859.
poor boys that hrui been three days a missun.
and old Mr. Williamson, the clerk thai is now,
sir, made a prayer over us before vve laved.—
When we came to put oil, they left me stan
dun ; I make no doubt but J esse maned to spare
me ; but I called un back for T said, why should
I be settun Hl' my bands folded, or walking a
bont, lookun out over the water, and I may
jnst as well be Sonn somethun like a lather for
my sons an' for my brother's orphans ?
"We- maile for Broad Cove : lor so we
thought the wind would ha' driven the poor
young fellows a-Thursday ; but we couidn'
get lnto*Broad Cove, Ibr the slob an' cake# of
ice. 1 lie shore looked tariible cruel !"
Skipper George site thoughtful a moment,
and then began again.
"At Port'jfal (j )ve,' t lie continued, looking
over t lie water, "they tiidii' know about e'er a
punt, an' no more they dido' at Ilroad Cove,
nor Holly-Kood ; fir we staid three days, an'
sarched all over. An' so, a Thursday morn
agen we corned back borne ; —t' was cold, but
still. S) when we coined round Peterport
Point, (that's it over at the outside o' Blazon
Head, yonder,) every man, a'mosf, I >oked owr
his shoulder, thinkun mubbe they'd {got in ;
but'twasn's\ They hadn' come, nor they
hadn' been bard irum. So my mistre S 3, an'
.Millv, an' George, an' f; an' this maid kneel
ed down alter I'd toid 'em how 'twas, and
prayd to the good Lord.
"An' so we waited,an' didri' heat from the
poor boys, not for a good many days."
Skipper George stopped here again for a
wliil-.
"Awell, sir, then there coined over that j
some men had abin lonnd at Broad Cove I—it
wasn' known wbothev were ) but we knowd.
So they got Mr. Wtimer's boat, and a crew of
'em went round, and Skipper 'Jviery R-ssle,
and Skipper I/ik Re.s-de, (that was Miliy's la
ther,) ami Skipper J/.ik Marchant, wasn'
Skipper then, liower,) but a many friends goej
in her—l couidn' go thattime sir.
"I'was about suu-gp-down slie corned in
Never a word nor a sound ! She loooked black
seemuuly; and r.o colors nor Hag. "Twasthey I
Sure enough, 't was they I
"A man had sid a punt all coverpd wi' ice
and hau'e I her up ; and when he corned to j
clear away the in*, there w as a man, seerminl v, i
in the for'ard part ! He called the neighbors; !
and sure enough, Ihere'e was, anil another one
along wi' un; andjbolh seemuuly a-kaeeluri
a:id leannn over theloi'ard tii'ait. They were.
Jthe two brother, John an- 1 'bile GeurW. fjoz>
still, and two arms locked together ! I hey
died pr'yun, sir, most likely ; so it seemed.—
They was good lads, sir, and iliey knowed
liteir God !
"So, then, they thought there wasn' no
more—."
The fisherman hero made a long pans**, and
getting up from bis seat, sii !, "I'll be back al
ter a bit, si:;" an i walking away from Mr. D -
bree and Ids daughter, stood f>r a little while
with his back toward them and hir bead bare.
The maiden bent her gentle fare upon her
knee within her two hand*. The moonlight
glossed her rich black hair, giancd Irom her
white cap, and gave grace to her bended neck.
At the iir.-t motion of her father to turn about,
slie rose to !I-I feet and awaited him. t'j.on
him too—on his head, bared of its hair, above,
on his broad, manly front,and on his steady eye
—the moonlight fell beautifully. Mr. Debree
rose, also to wait Ibr him.
Skipper George came back and lock up his
broken story.
"Bumbve, sir, when they corned to the after
part ol the boa?, there thev found a young man
lyun in the starn-sheets, wi' no coat, and his—
his poor, lovun aim under his brother's neck :
—and the tother had the jacket ro'led up for a
pillow under hie head, and 1 suppose lie di-d
there, sleepim upon the jacket, that bis biuthef
rolled up fir un."
The voice ot the faiher was vary tender and
touching : but lie did not give way to tears.
"So, sir, that young man bad done his part
and sculled '< m safe right along vvi' the tarrible
cruel gale, a'wy over a twenty miles or more,
to a safe cove, and his hand-wrists w-re all
worn aw'y wi' workun at the oar ;—but he
never thought of a cruel ga'e of ice right alore
the cove ; and so we made no doubt when he
found that, in dark night, and found he couidn'
get through, nor he could n' walk over, then
he yave hisselt up to Ids God, an I laid down,
and nut his tired arm round bis brother; and so
th-re they were, in short after that, (it could n'
ha' b en long,) there wis four dead tnen in
their boat, awaitun, outside o' Broad Cove,tuli
some ane 'ould come and take their poor bo-I
dies, and stiip aw'y the ice Irom 'em and put
Yin in the ground, tiiat conies more nal'ral, in a j
manner, sir !
"Th-v d id'n find e'er an oar, wha'mer be
comed of 'em; but they found their poor guns, 1
and the two orphans had their names cut, 'John
Bar bury,' and 'George B.arbui y,' and one of 'em
bad 'Pet—lor Peterport, and couidn' cut no
more, for cold and death.
"There was three guns cut ; and" one had
'James BarH —that poor Miunsell must ha'
cut, poor fellow, afore the deadly cold killed
un. So the kind people that found the poor
boys, Iliey thought James was a respectable
young man, and when they come to lav 'em ■
out, in the school-house, (they were proper kind,
sir,) they put a ruiile shirt on him o' lin-n.
"So, sir, the Minister coined over and buried
the dea I. Four coffins were laid along the
aisle, wi' a while sheet over everv one, because
we had n' palls : James and Maunsell, of
George, and John and little George, of Izik ;
and we put two brothers in one grave, and two
brothers, side by side, and covered them !
''There was two thousand at the funeral ;
and when the minister conldn't help crvun, so
1 think a'most every one cryed, as ef 't was
their own : and so we hard that people lived
on Kel ley's Island, hard singun goun by in the
dark, like chantunvve have in church. They
said 'v\ as beautilul, comun up an' dyun aw'y
Freedom of Thought and Opinion.
wi' the wind. It's ver like sir, Paul and Sila
sang in prison, so they sang (in storm !
"I'hen Mjlly, poor ; tbing, that never goed
back to her lather's house, took a cold at the
i funeral, seemungly, and slie died in James' bed
a three weeks after She was out of her mind,
! too, poor thing I"
After another silence, in which Skipper
I George gazed upon the restless said.
''l brought home wi' me the best stick from
the timber, arid laved the rest, and no one ever
t touched it, and there it staid. So next winter,
sir, my (other poor young man djed in the
woods o' masles, (thank God ! —we never had
to move in (ill I lost my fine boys,) and the
next sixteen' day of January I set up my pil
lar, and this is my pillar, sir. I said the Lord
given, anil the Lord have tookt away ;—Bles
sed he the name of the Lord. All the riches 1
bad I thought 't was gone."
"You SJKI riches came again," said M. De
bree, deeply interested and affected.
"Ay, >ir. My maid is gone back to the
house. 1 can' tell Ve what she is, sir :—There's
plenty in the harbor will speak o' Lucy Barburv,
sir. I hone 'ee 'II excuse me lor keepin "ee so
late."
"I thank you with all my heart, for that
beautiful story," said Mr. Dehree, shaking the
fi-herinan s hand. "Good night, Skipper George !
Yon have learned me a lesson, indeed, and,
with God's grace it shall do me good. It is a no
ble lesson !"
"I he Lord showed me where to find it in
my Bible and my pr'yer-book, sir. 1 wish 'ee
a good eveoun, sir."'
A STRI.XG OF CUIIIOU6 FACTA.
The foilowi ng striking scientific facts were
picked up in the course ol our reading from va
rious reliable authorities. We thing many of
them will be new to our readers :
The difference between the skulls of the do
mestic hog and wild boar is as great as ".hat be
!ween the European and .Negro si.till. Domes
ticated animals that have subsequently run wild
in the lores!, after a few generations lose a>i
trapes of their domestication, and are physical
ly rklerent frotn their lame originals.
1 is not r.aturul for a cow, an)' more than
fn 'ther female animals, to give milk when
she .as no young to nourish. The permanent
product ion of milk is a -modified animal func
tio i, produced by anaitificial habit for several
sir • a ">ns. In ( dumbia, the practice ofmil-
SA ' |J - i..; c. ftci.t.i, e. entura!
r>tafe of the function has been restored. Th
sec (ion of milk continues only during tin
suckling ol tlie calf, and is only an occasiona
phenomenon. If the calf dies, the milk cease
•o flow, .and it is only by keeping him with hi
dam bv dav, that an opportunity ol obtain
ing milk from cows by night can be ouml.
Tim barking of d igs is an acquired hereditary
instinct,supposed to have originated in an at
tempt to imitate the human voice. Wild dog:
and dorne>iic breeds which become wild, nevei
bark, but howl. Cats, which so disturb civili
zed c immunities lv their midnight "catawaul,'
in the wild >ta'e in S.uth America are quite si
lent.
The hair of a negro is not wool, but a curled
and twisted hair. The distinction between hail
and wool is clearly revealed by tlie micro
scope.
The dark taces have less nervous sensibility
than the whites. They are not subject to ner
vous disease. They sleep siundly in every dis
ease ;nm does any mental disturbance keej
them awake. They bear chirurgica! operation:
much belter than the white people.
A certain species ol fungus has bepn known
to attain the sizp of a gourd in one night: am!
it is calculated that the cellule?, of which it is
composed, must amount to forty-seven thousand
millions. It it grew in twelve hours, this would
give four thousand millions.per hour, or more
than sixty-six millions each minute.
Animalcules have been discovered so small
that one million would not exceed a grain of
sand, and five hundred millions would sport on
a drop of water. Yet each of these must have
blood vess.-ls, nerves, muscles, circulating flu
ids. fkc., like large animals.
One of the most wonderful achievements of
astronomers, is the weighing of the bodies of the
solar syst.-m. It is certain that the mass of Ju
piter is more than 322, and ]es> than 323 times
the mass of this globe—so accurately has this
w-ork been accomplished. The mass of the sun
is 339,551 times great r than that of the earth
and moon, and 700 times greater than the uni
ted masses of all the planets.
The planet Saturn is composed of natter on
ly hall as heavy as water ; Mercury is consid
erably heavier than quicksilver, and a third
heavier than lead : and our own globe is twice
a? heavy as lead—a fact showing the great den
sity ol internal parts.
A Hash of lightning on'he earth would be
visible on the tnoon in a second and a quarter ;
on the sun in eight minutes ; on Uranus in two
hours; on Neptune in four and a quarter : on
the star Vega, of the first magnitude, in forty
five years : on a star in the eighth magnitude
in four thousand yars ; and such stars are visi
ble through the telescope.
La Place, the great astronomer, says: "I
have ascertained that between the heavenly
bodies all attractions are transmitted with a ve
locity which if it be not infinite, surpasses sev
eral thousand times the velocity of light. His
annotator estimates it at eight times greater than
that of light.
The circumference of the earth is 25,000
miles. A railway train, traveling incessantly
night and day, at thp rate of twenty-six miles
per hour, would require six weeks to go round
it. A tunnpl through the earth from England
to New Zealand, would be neat ly eight thou
sand miles long.
is a horse half way through a gate
like a penny? Because it is head on one side
and tail on the other.
A PROSPECTIVE RETROSPECT.
EY JOHN G. SAXE.
Tis twenty y-'ars, and something more,
Since, all athirst lor uarful knowledge,
T look same draughts of classic lore
Drawn—very mild—at- rd College ;
Yet 1 remember all that one
Could wish to hold.in recollection :
| The boys, the joys, the noise, the Inn ; .
But not a single Conic Section.
I recollect f*we harsh affairs,
The morning bells that gave us panics :
T recollect the formal prayers
That sepmed like lessons in Mechanics :
T recollect the drowsy way
In which the students listened to them,
As clearly, in my wig, to-day
As when, a ooy, I slumbered through them.
T recollect the tutors all
As freshly now, if J may say so,
As any chapter T recall
In Homer or Oeidins Naso.
I recollect extremely well,
"Old Hugh," the mildest of fanatics;
1 remember well old Mathew Bell,
But very family Mathematics.
I recollect the prizes paid
For lessons fathomed to the bottom ;
(Alas, that pencil marks should fade ; !)
I recollect the chaps who got 'em
The light equestrians who soared
O'er every passage reckoned stony ;
And took the chalks—but never scored
A single honor to the pony.
Ah me!—what changes Time has wrought
And how predictions have miscarried!—
A few have reached the goalthev sought.
An i some are dead, and some are married :
And some in city journals war ;
And some as politicians bicker ;
And some are pleading at the bar ;
For jury-verdicts, or for liquor.
And some on Trade and Commerce wait ;
And some in schools with dunces battle ;
And some the gospel propagate ,
Arid sc me the choicest breeds of cattle ;
A nd some are living at their ease :
And some were wrecked in "the revulsion
Some serve the State for handsome fees •
And one, I hear, upon compulsion.
Lamont, who , in his college days,
Thought e'en a cross a mortal scandal,
Has I. ft his Puritanic ways,
And worslnprnow with wii a.u . ,
And Mann, who mourned the nogrot's fate,
And It eld the slave as most unlucky,
Now holds him at the market rate,
On a plantation in Kentucky !
Tom Knox, who swore in such a tone
It fairly might be doubted whether
It really was himself alone,
Or Knox and Erebus together,—
lias grown a very altered man.
And changing oaths for mild entreaty,
Now recommi n 13 the Christian plan
To savages in Otaheite !
Alas, for young ambition's vow,
How envious Fate may overthrow it !
Poor Harvey is in Congress now,
Who struggled long to be a poet :
Smith carves ;quite weii 'memoi ial sloner,
Who tried in vain to make the law go .
Hall deals in hides; and "Pious Jones"
Is dealing faro in Chicago !
And, sadder still, the brilliant Hays,
Once honest, manly and ambitous,
Has taken latterly to ways
Extremely profligate and vicious ;
By slow degrees—l can't tell how—
He's reached at last the very groundsel,
And in New York he figures now
A member of the Common Council !
NOT TO HE TAKEN IN!
An exchange paper has the following capital
storv about one of the best fellows in the world
who has no fellow : Mr. Fields, the Boston
publisher, has a wonderful memory, and his
knowledge of English literature is so available
that when a friend wishes to know where any
particular passenger may be found, he steers at
once for the corner and consults the man who
is very likely to give the desired information.
A pompous would-be wit, not long ago, think
ing to puzzle him and n.ake spoit for a compa
ny at dinner, informed them prior to Mr. Fields"
arrival that he had himself that morning written
some poetry, and intended to submit it to Mr.
Fields as Southey's, and inquire in which of
his poems the lines occurred. At the proper
moment, therefore, after the guests were seated,
he began : "Friend Fields, I have been a
good deal exercised of late trying to find in
Souther's poems his well known lines running
thus—can you tell us about what time he
wrote them ?" "I Jo not remember to have
met with them before," replied Mr. Fields,
"and there were only two periods in Southey's
life when such linescould possibly have been
written by him." "When were those?"'—
gleefully asked the witty questioner. "Some-:
where" said Mr. Fidds, "about that early period ,
of his existence when he was having the mea- j
sles and cutting his first teeth; or near the close
of his life, when his brain had softened, and he |
had fallen into idiocy. The versification be
longs to the measles period, but the expression
clearly betrays the idiotic one." The funny
questioner smiled faintly, but the company
roared.
[I^ := "Bubbv, why don't you go home and
have vour mother sew op that hole in your
trowsers ?" "Oh, go along, old woman, our
folks are economizing, and a hole will last
longer than a patch."
the effects left by tfm Sultan of
Muscat, recently deceased, was fift}- thousand
dollars in American dimes and hall-dimes.
WHOLE W TIBER 2837.
A STORY AS TS A STORY.
I lie reader is expected to believe the follow
ing in every particular :
When a young man, f was traveling in wes
tern New \ork, and late of a stormy night ap
plied at a log cabin (or lodging. The occupant"*
a woman, refused it, saying her husband and
sons were out hunting, and if they found me
there would murder me. I preferred the chance
'o the storm, and she consented that I might
lie down before the fire. In the nigh! I heard
them a coming and scrambled trp the chimney.
1 hinking I was safe when at the top, I stepped
over the roo(, and, jumping down" aljthe back
ol the cabin, struck plump into a wolf trap.
A scream of pain from me brought the man and
boys out, and they declared I deserved a much
more severe punishment than death : so thry
kept me both in the Imp and suspense until
morning, and then heading me up in a hc-y
head, with no light or air but the bung-hole,
they putting me on a sled, drove me some four
miles up a hill, and then rolled me off to starve.
This I undoubtedly should hare donp, but for a
singular occurrence. The wolves smelled£me
I out and gathered around mv prison, when one
: of them, in turning around, happened to thrust
| his tail into the bung-hole. It was mv only
chance. I caught a- firm hold, and held on
like grim death to a negro, which frightened
the wolf, of course, and he started down the
hill followed by the hogshead and me. It was a
very uneasy rjde over the stones aud stumps ;
but 1 had no idea how long it was, until the
hogs-head striking a stone fairly, the staves,
worn by a long travel, were broken in, and I
jumped out and found myself way down in the
lower end of Cataraugus county, some iiiirty
miles from the scene of disaster.
HAFTY IF NOT FAlß.— "When we heard of
Albert Pike's (supposed) decease," says the
.Montgomery "we could but regret that
Oid Ned or some other expert wa; not near, to
try on hirn whal'proved so successful in the case
of thp, ''Old Arkansas fientleman," in"*hi3 own
song :
"They laid him out and spread him out and
fixed bim for'the tomb,
And then, on account of the"* * J ' roW ' or b' s
dec< oe,~i>ened the biggest kind of a game
of Faro, right there ic-h's own room ;
Bui when he heard the rattling of the checks,
he tore the linen fiom his face,
And bounced up and sung out, 'Hold on Prin
dle ; don't turn ; I'll go tweuty on the
king and copper on the ace,'
L,ike a nue Aikansas gentleman, close to th*
Choctaw line."
rrr-Du ring a recent trial at Auburn, the
following occurred to vary the monotony of the
proceedings :
Among the witnesses was one, as verdant
a specimen of humanity as one would wish to
meet with. After a severe cross examination,
the counsel for the government paused, and then
putting on a look of severity, and an ominous
shake of the head, exclaimed :
"Mr. Witness, has not aii effort been made
to induce you to tell a different story
"A different story trom what I have told sir?"
"That is whatl mean."
es sir ;. several persons have tried to get
me to tell a different story from what, I have
told, but they couldn't."
"Now, sir, upon your oath, I wish to know
who these persons are."
"Waal, I guess you've tiied 'bout as hard as
any of them."
The witness was dismissed while the judge
jurv, and spectators indulged in a hearty
laugh. ' _
strange creatures girls are.—
Oiler one of them gepd wages to work for vou,
and ten chances to one if the old woman "can
spare any one of her girls —but just propose
matrimony, and see if they don't jump at the
chance of working a life-time for their victoals
and clothes.
[EP'Thp Editor of the Woonsocket Patriot
makes merry over the mistake ol an old Shang
hai hen of his, that has been "setting for five
weeks'on two round stones and a piece of brick !
"ller anxiety," quoth he, "is no greater
than ours to know what she will hatch. If it
proves a brickyard, that hen is not for sale."
(CP" A waiter at a fashionable hotel, the
other day, requested a boarder, if he needed his
services,to "just agitate the communicator."—
Previous to the rapid march of intellect, "please
to ring the bell," would have been the phrase
used.
[CP*A fellow was told at a tailor's shop that
three yards of cloth, by being wet, would
shrink one quarter of a yard—"Well then," he
inquired, "if you should wet a quarter of a yard,
would there be any of it left ?"
QjF=""l never complained of my condition,"
says the Persian poet Sadi, "but once when my
feet were hare, and 1 had no money to buy
shoes, bit I met a man without feet, and was
contented with my lot."
St. Louis Democrat estimates that
the census of 1860 will increase the number of
repr sentalives from the Northern Stales to 155
and decrease the number from the South to 78.
Quite a difference.
KF*"Halloo, stranger! What time is it?—
How high's the creek? What's the price of
butter V'
"Past eleven; watsl deep; eleven pence."
a', home ?*' "Nosir, he's out."
"Mistress at home ?" "No sir, she's out."—
"Then I'll step in and sit by the fire." That's
out too."
[CP s "Money is the root of all eviL
VOL % NO. 29.