BV MEYERS & BEltl OIiD.
WHOLE NO. 2773. VOL 53.
Select |p oc t r ii.
SECRET SORROWS.
Unseen tears are like a river
Springing from the mountain high,
Gliding noiseless—flowing ever—
Hidden ' r °m the gazing eye :
None mav mark the tear-drop starting
From affliction's bitter mart;
None may heed the hope departing,
From the broken bleeding heart.
When alone, in silent sadness.
Comes the heart-felt, gushing tear,
Quenching every ray of gladness—
Quickening every anxious fear ;
Then, indeed, we feel the sorrow-
Bursting from a soul of woe—
Shadow of the gloomy ir.orrow,
Growing darker as we go.
Heartfelt anguish is retiring
From the world's unhallowed eye :
Solitude to grief's inspiring.
Freeing ever struggling sigh,
Thus the spirit bears the wringing
Sorrow brings jn every tone,
While our ceaseless cares are bringing
Countless fears, becau-e alone.
'Tis within the soul's recesses,
Deep and hidden from the view,
Where the heart-pang sorely presses,
Piercing every vital through :
When the raging flame of sorrow
Baits the cauldron of the heart.
Scalding tears will reach the furrow,
And the eyelids feel the smart.
Could we see the inner weeping
Of the dark despairing soul,
Think you, we'd neglect thekeeping
Or unheed our brother's call !
But, alas! the world is telling
Startling things of human woe,
While ten thousand hearts are dwelling
On th- griefs but One can know.
ROM AN'i K BREACH OF PROMISE.
In fifteen hundred and thirty eight, when
France happened to be at peace, and nothing
was talked of at Court, say the memoir-writers,
hut festivals, tournaments, carnivals, masque
rades, and so forth, one incident occurred to
supply the town folks with talk. This was no
other than the action for breach of promise of
marriage, brought bv the Marquis Jehan Jjoys.
of Saluces, against Madame Philippes de M m
tespeifon, widow o Mar: ha 1 1 Monte-Jan, who
had Been governing Piedmont. Some of the
drtaiU of this case are singular enough to de
serve a narrative on th>-ir own account : othe.-s
are amusing chiefly because of their odd simi
larity with sentimental passages in the lives of
our own country f.lks, from time to' time re
vealed to us in courts of law .
Maichal M<>nte Jan died in Piedmont, I aving
no children. His wife was instantly besieged
with offers of c arriage by various great lords
of that slate, a circumstance at winch we ai>-
requested by the chroniclers "not to marvel
for Madame Phillippes was a very respectable
and virtuous ladv, adorned with great beauty
and in the fiower of her youth ; she possessed,
moreover, sixty thousand livers of revenue in
her own right, besides considerable expectations,
First among tile suitors who tot lowed so closely
on 1 tie funeral, was the above mentioned Mai
qilis of Saluces, who seems to have been a fool
ish fellow, and who certainly was most scanda
lously treated. The narrator was on the lady's
side, but he naively states very damaging facts.
Madame Phillippes feigned to accept the Mar
quis: services because it would lie convemen
to make use of his escort on the way back to
France, whither he was going by express order
of the king.
Despite of her riches, the fair widow seems
to have been accidentally without ready cash.
She allowed her suitor to pay her expenses all
the way from I urin to Paris : and these ex
penses were by no means light. All the house
hold of her late husband, besides her own, ac
companied her. The Marquis thought lie had
the game in his own hands, and assumed the
tone o| 3 master by anticipation intimated that
the gentlem> n, servants, and officers of the de
ceaserl should lie dismissed and half those ol
the lady herself, especially the women tor she
had, besides dames and demoiselles, femmes de
ll cbambre, and others for different kinds of
work, as many as fifteen or sixteen. But
Madame Phillippes was so prudent that she n--
v *r, tt is alleged, allowed a word to escape thai
would bind her; and yet so clever (hat she ob
tained a|| the assistance she w anted. The Mar
quis, as soon as he got u|K>n French ground, had
ordered (Italian that he was) all his people to
be on the watch to prevent any communication
being brought from a rival ; for, lie did not
doubt that sucli a rare pearl would be eagerlv
sought after. Yet, in spite of all precautions,
as soon as the party arrived at Lyons, a courier
came (rom M. de Vielleville, a relative of (lie
lady, and delivered his letter so secretly that
no one ever suspected their existence. These
etlerg contained the information that the court
ad heard of the proposed marriage with the
X larquis of Saluces, and believed the couple
w-re coming to Paris for the wedding. The
news had much pleased the king, because he
■ad always heard that love bound a man to a
country more than anything, and though the
arquis, having become a Frenchman by this
a hance, would be more faithful ever after
wards. This was sentimentality not to be ex
pected from Francis the First. However, said
; the correspondent, "T think you are going to
I marry more for the good of your country
than your own good —if what I hear b- true :
bnt I cannot belive it ; lor it is not likely that
vou would, after having been so happy in your
first marriage, enter on another so hurriedly
without even warning your triends."
Madam de Monte Jan in reply, wrote a very
characteristic letter. Among other things, she
said: I would rather die than do anything of
which J might have reason to repent : yet I will
confess that the extreme necessity in which the
death of the late marshal left me, almost made
me trip in words. But Heaven has so helped
me, that here I am arrived in France without
heing affianced, promised or contracted to any !
living man. lam very much surprised the
king should think 1 am going to bring him
servants the expense of my good fortune, and
against mv tastes. 1 will never he an Italian :
and, if 1 were, the lat man I should choose to'
make me so would be the Marquis Jehan Loys
for reasons which I will give you when we
meet, tmt, especially, because be is not, and 1
never will be, a true Frenchman."
But in spite of this declaration, the beautiful
Madame Phillippes remained at Lyons, under ;
the charge of this Marquis, who spent twelve j
days in making preparations, intending to ar-|
rive at court in magnificent stvle. When the
party at length set out, their baggage was so !
enormous, and their train so numerous, that |
six great boats were filled. They did all their
cooking on board. With them they took a band
of fiddlers, engaged hv that Marquis to amuse
them on the river, and alleviate the ennui of
the lady for the loss of her husband.—They
embarked on the L>ire at Ronanne,and sent in
land the horses and mules, which arrived as
soon as they did at Briare.
M. de \ ielleville had news of their move
ments nearly every day, by the couriers who |
constantly passed on their way from Piedmont
to their court : he went out from Paris as far
as Corbetl, with about eightv horses, on the
evening when the travellers arrived at Ersonue.
He sent a messenger directly to Madame Phi!-
lippes, informing her of his movements, and got
hack an answer not to show himself until the
next day, at the dinner that was to take place
at Jurizy. The ladv appears to have been afraid
that if the slightest suspicion of her intention
had come to the Marquis, he would have seized
hf-r and married lu-r bv force.
V ielleville politely kept out of the way un
til dinner was over, and then rode up with his
troop. There were great reverence and sain- i
tations; and all those men began to talk as well
about the good cheer they had enjoyed b.v the
road, as about the adventures that necessarily
happen so long ajourney.
At a fitting opportunity, however, the lady
.•lipped away: an i secretly calFng the Sieur
Plessis an chat, a Breton gentleman in her ser
vice, ordered him as soon as they reached the
Porte Saint Marceau, to disentangle her train
from that of her suite,and move along the moat,
in the direction of the Porte Saint-Gagnes,
where they were to stop whilst she bade adieu !
to the Marquis.
afterwards every one mounted, ladies
and all: and this gorgeous, brilliant train arri- ;
veil hi good time at Pans. At the gate, Phs.
sis au-Gna! earned out his instructions - , and dex
terously separated the lady's people f.om the
others. The Marquis surprised, called out that ;
they mistook the way. But now, Madame
Phillippes polling up, sai !: "Sir, they are going
where they ought: f>r your lodging is in the j
Hotel des Ursins, in the Cloister of Notre
Dame, and mine is in the Hotel Saint Deny.®, i
near the Augustines. Mv honor commands
me not to lodge in your house, but to separate
myself from you, which is why J now hrd you ;
adieu ; hut not sir, without thanking vou very
humbly for your good company t.y the road.— j
As to my part of the expense, 1 haie it all down ;
in writing. Your Maistre d'Hotes and Plessis
an Chat will settle matters so well together, that ,
before a week is over we shall he quits : 1 mean j
as far as regards money : for mv obligations to j
you will he eternal. Now, f beg you to con
sider that this is onlv a bodily separation : I
leave you mv heart, which vou will be pleased
to keep." So saving, she kissed him, anil said,
"Adieu, sir; we shall meet to morrow at the
. king's lodgings."
The Marquis was so astonished at this sud
den change that for a long time he could not ut- j
ter a single word. His sobs and sighs, howev
er, showed his anguish and his sadness. At j
last his presence of mind returned and looking i
al the lady in anything but a loving manner, he |
said : "Madame vour adieu gave my heart a
pang; but vour last words, and the kiss with j
which you haie honored me, have somewhat
revived me, though this sudden change and I
prompt resolution seem strange. To morrow j
as you say, we shall meet : hut hear in mind j
! tile promise vou have given me."
Then the two companions parted; and M.i
--! dame Phillippes joyfully look her way in lib- j
j erty to the Hotel Saint jjeiiys. The same even
ing Vielleville brought to her and introduced as
a suitor the Prince de ia Rochesuryon, who '
was of Royal blood, being brother to the Duke
of Montpensier. 'lf vou will believe me, make
this gentleman as soon as possible, master o( i
your person and your wealth, for all delay will i
, he perilous,' said he. The Prince and Madame j
Phillippes were pleased with one another, and
exchanged promises.
Meanwhile the Marshall Danm-bund, who j
had succeeded Marshal Monte-Jan in his Gov-i
ernorship, had formed the project oP fucceed- :
ing also to bis widow and property. He there
fore had written to the Dauphine to plead his
cause, and to represent that, by putting their
revenues together, they might make up a hun- !
dred thousand livresa year, a very rare thingj
'in France for any one but a Prince. The Dau
phine came with the proposal, and strongly
spoke in favor of Dunnebund. "I know," said
she,"that the Marquis of Salticcs i 3 thiee times
as rich, but his position is more uncertain. Be
sides he is very disagreeable in person, with a
BEDFORD, PA.. FRIDAY MORNING, DECEMBER 4,1857.
| big belly, fat, dirty, swarthy, and awkward.—
Whereas my candidate, as you know, is a very
j presentable fellow."
I'D this Madame Philippes replied bv confirm
ing bet engagements with the prince, and the
Dauphine accordingly withdrew her proposal, j
! arid recommended her to marry as last as possi- '
j hie, because the king had laid great stress on |
i the alliance, and might exercise his absolute au-4
thortfr-.—* ~ *
The Marque* aever passed, a rime-without J
sailing ta see hie mistress; instead of finding her
j alone he always met the Prince de la Rochesu-''
| ryon, who thus became a very thorn in his side.
; By no means whatever could lie obtain a tete
a-tete interview. So at last, unable to put up
with his annoying position anv longer, he sud
denly began a !egal action, and ariaigned th|
j lady before thr Parliament of Paris. This he
| did by the expn-ss command of the king, who
' had the marriage very much at heart, though
h' did not like to use his own authority against
the intesests of a prince of his own blood.
Madame Phillippes was inucii disturbed by
j the prospect of being forced to ally herself with
her obstinate s'litor: arid we mav (>e sure there
' were anxious consultations at the Hotel Saint
! Denys. YVb>-n the day of trial came she ap
' peared accompanied by M. de Veilleville, and
. many other k.rds and gentlemen, ladies and
| maidens. Every one expected a long and scan
-Ida loos discussion. The First Piesident began
the proceedings by telling Madame Phillippes
to raise her hand anti swear to tell the truth:
j one then asked I her if she had not promised,
marriage to .ionsienr le Marquis Jehan-Lovs
de Saluces, then present. The lady forgetting
her hints and ipuendos, replied on her faith,
.No. The P evident was about to examine her
closely, and '.he gretlier had taken up His pen,
when the (a defendant st pped forward, and
I in a firm voce uttered the following speech:
"Messieu; , this is the fiijt time J have ever
been before if court of justice and therefore, I
am alraid Ih.t timidity may make me contra
; diet myself atny answers. But, to cut short
ail the sub:! tijes in which you are proficient, I
now say and declare, before you gentlemen and
all present, that I swear to God and the King
—to God o the eternal darn nation of my soul
j —to the King on the confiscation of my honor
and my lib—that 1 never gave my promise of
marriage t Monsieur le Marquis Jehan-Loys of
Saluces: and what is rnoie, never thought of
, doing so in mV life. And ifany one says the
! contrary,! -re, (taking M. de Vielleville by the
: hanij,) tin- is my knight, who is ready saving
tile-Tumor f this court, to prove that he viilain
i ously lies! ..
This wa .ike demonstration, so much in har
j n.ony with the character of the period, and the
chivalry which Francis the First was Irving to
revive, rp-*! v ith complete success.
"Here'iar? business!" exclaimed the Presi
dent fame irly. "Grelfier, you can pack up
your pa pes. There is no writing to do. Ma
dame l*a jiireciia'e has taken another road, and
; a much .otter one." Then addressing the
! Marquis, esaid:
"Well sir, what observation do you make
on this incident?"
The Miifiuis had glanced at hi® own porllv
person, a I compared it with the mailial as
pect ol l ie ladv's knight.
"J don want a wife hy force," said he, "ii
; she won': have me, why I won't have tier: and
: there's a fend;"
With isifse words he made a low bow am
i left thee ill. The M. de \ ielleville asked i
too lady '"ere not free to marry w.hom she iiked
; and being answered in the affirmative invite!
the who .-Com any io com- and tie present at
llie b-tr between Madame Phillippes and
the Prj:tc<4de la Rochesur von, which won d
i take pin,•(•■immediately. But the .vilv lawvris
! did not accept, saving they must deliberate aid
j send a c pu!y (o acquaint the king with wfot
had tak -a place. One of them also whispered
,to the knight. "You had a six months trial !e
--; fore von if voo had not been so clever. The
M arotii- had an interrogatory of forty* art icl-s
prepared is to expressions that had been pub
licly us (11 y the lady to him and his people: jas
' to llie i. -ses she lad given him by the way,
esp'-cia v the kisses at Porte Saint Julien (a
circim slahce that would have gone much u
gairisl her,) that she would give him a chain of
five hundred ecus for the wedding."
"VV-11, Well said Vielleville smiling, "al! we
1 need s.-iy now is, that a French woman has
i outwit:-d a hundred Italians."
Thereupon, betrothal between Madame
| Phillip; e> arid the prince immediately took
place; nd in two or three days thav were
married at the August ins without much cere
; monv, the bride being a widow. They lived
I happiiv together for twentv-five years, and had
j <i son ntl a daughter : hut the princess survi
j ved both her husband and her children, and
dud in I ">7B, forty years after her curious
journey from Turin to Paris.
LAPLAND MARRIAGES-
Every Laplander has his dozen or two dozen
' deer, and the flock of a Lapp Crcesus amount
to two thousand head. As soon as a young
j ladv is horn alter having been duly rolled in
1 the sritw —she is dowered by Imr father with a
• certain number of deer, which are immediately
! branFd with her initials, ami thenceforth kept
I apart as her especial property. In proportion
| astlicv increase and multiply does her chance
i improve °f making a good match. Lapp conrl
> ship is conducted pretty much in the same tash
' ion as i° other parts of the world. Ttie aspi
rar.t. as soon a® he discovers that he lias lost his
hear!, goes otT in search of a friend anil a bottle
jof brandy. The friend enters the tent, and
i opens simultaneously the brandy and his busi
j n ,. s ; while the lover remains outside, engaged
in hewing wood, or some other menial employ
ment. If, alter the brandy and the proposal
have been duly discussed, the eloquence of his
friend prevails, he is himself called into the con
i c;a v ♦* iin d the young people are allowed to mb
~ The bride then accepts from her suitor
Freedom of Thought and Opinion.
a present of a reindeer's tongue, and espousals
are considered concluded. The marriage does
not take place for two or three years after
wards, and during the interval the 'ntended is
obliged to labor in the service of his father-in
j law.
(From the German.
THE LEFT EVE.
A rich old man, who resided at the extiemi- ,
fty of the camp, quite apait from the rest, had j
three daughters, the youngest of whom, named j
| Kookju, was as much distinguished for her beau
! ty as for extraordinary wisdom.
One morning as he was about driving His
, cattle for sale to the Chan's market-place, he*
begged his daughters to tell him what presents j
they wished him to bring them on his return. !
The two eldest asked him tor tiinkets, but the i
handsome and wise Kookju said tHat she wanted
no present, but that would be difficult and even 1
dangerous for him to execute. Upon which i
the iather, who loved her more than the two
others, swore that he would do her wish though
it was the price of his life.
"It it he so," replied Kookju, "I beg you I
to do as follows: sell your cattle except the j
short taiied ox, and ask no other price for it !
except the Chan's left eye." The old man was ;
startled ; however, remembering his oath, and
confiding in his daughter's wisdom, he resolved j
to do as she bade him.
After having sold all his cattle, and being !
asked the price of tire short-tailed ox, he said
that It- would sell it for nothing else than the
Chun's left eye. The report of this singular
and daring request soon readied tiie ear of the .
;Chan's courtiers. At fiist they admonished i
|him not to use such an offensive speech against j
the sovereign ; hut when they found that he'
persevered in liis strange demand, they bound,
him and carried him as a madman, before the
Chan. The oh! man threw himself at the .
prince's feet, and confessed that his demand had
been ma te at the request of his daughter, u hose j
motives he was perfectly ignoratof: and the!
Chan suspecting that some secret must be hid- 1
den under this extraordinary request, dismissed
tiie old man, under the condition that tie would
bring him that daughter w ho had made it.
Kookju appeared, and the Chan asked.—•
"Why dost thou instruct thy father to de
mand mv left eye ?"
"Because 1 expected, my prince, that alter so
strange a request, curiosity would urge thee to
send for me."
"And wherefore dost thou desire to see
me ?"
"I wish to tell thee a truth important to thy
il<4f,aftd thy people."
"Name it."
"Prince," replied Kookju, "when two per
sons appear before thee in a cause, the wealthy
ind the noble generally stand on th)' right
hand, while the poor and humble stand on thy
left. I have heard in my solitude that thou
most frequently favorest the noble and the rich.
This is the reason whv I presttaded my fath
er to ask for ttiy left eye ; it being no use to
thee, since thou rn-ver seesl the poor and un
protected."
The Chart, incensed and surprised at the dar
ing of this maiden, commmanded his court to
try her. The court was opened, and the presi
dent, who was the eldest Lama, proposed that
they should try whether her strange proceedings
were the effect of malice or wisdom.
Their first step was to send to Kookju a log
of wood,cut even on all sides, ordering her
to find out which was the top. Kookju threw
it into the water and soon knew the answer,
on seeing the root sinking, while the top rose to
the surface.
Alter this they sent her two snakes, in order
to cetermine which was a male and which was
a C-maie. The wise maiden laid them on cot
ton and seeing that one coiled herself up in
a ring, while the other crept awav, she judg
ed the laiter was a male and the former a
female.
From these trials the'eourt {was convinced
that Kookju had not offended the Chan from
motives of malice, but the inspiration of wis
dom granted her from above. But not so the
Chan : his vanity was hurt : and he resolved
to puzzle her with questions, in order to prove
that she was not wise. He, therefore, ordered
tier before him, and asked :
"On sending a number of maidens into the
wood to gather apples, which of them will
bring home most?"
"She." replied Kookju, "who, instead of
climbing up the trees, remains below and picks
up those which have fallen off from maturity or
Ine shaking of the branches."
The Chan then led her t<> a fence, and asked
her which would be the readiest way to get
over ; and Kookju said, "to cross it would be
nearest, going round the farthest."
The Chan felt vexed at the readiness and
propriety of her it-piies : and having reflected tor
some time he again inquired:
"Which is the safest means of becoming
! known."
"Bv assisting many that are unkown." '
"Which is tiie surest means of leading a vir
tuous lite ?"
"To begin every morning with prayer,
and conclude every evening with some good
action ?"
"Who is truly wise?"
"He who does not believe himselfso."
"Which are (lie requisites for a good wife ?"
"She should he beautiful as a peoken, gentle
as a lamb, prudent as a mouse, just as a faithful
mirror, pure as the scales ola ti-ffi ; she must
mourn for her deceased husband like a shecam
el, and live in her widowhood like a bird which
has lost its wings."
The Chan was astonished at the wisdom of
the lair Kookju ; yet, enraged at her having re
■ reproached him with injustice, he still wished
t to destroy her.
i After a few days he thought he had found
■ the means of attaining his object. He sent for
> her and asked her to determine the true worth
: of all his treasures ; after which he promised to
absolve her from malice in questioning his jus- I
tic, and to admit that she intended, as a wise !
woman, merely to warn him.
The maiden consented vet under the condi- |
tion that the Chan would promise implicit obp- '
dience to her commands for four days. She
requested that he would eat no food during that
time. On the last day she placed a dish of meat
before him and said, "Cmfess, 0 Chan ! that
| all thy treasures are not worth as much as this I
j joint of meat !" The Chan was so struck with !
the truth of her remark that he confessed the I
truth of it, acknowledged her as wise, mar-
I ried her to his son, and permitted her constant- I
I ly to remind him to use \,\* left eye.
An American Traveller in England in
1765.
We must fancy our American traveller to be
a handsome fellow, whose suit of sables only
: made him look the more interesting. The i
plump landlady from her >ar, surrounded by j
her china anil punch-bowls, and stout gilded '
I bottles of strong waters, and glittering rows of j
j silver flagons, looked kind!v after the voung
gentleman as he passed through the inn-hail i
from his post-chaise, and the obsequious cbam
| herlain bowed him up stairs to the Rose or the
; Dolphin. The trim chambermaid dropped her
best courtsey for his fee, ani Gumbo,in tin inn
j kitchen, where the townsfolk drank their mug
iof ale by the great fire, bragged of his young
, master's splendid house in Virginia, and of the !
immense wealth to which he'was heir. The
post-chaise whirled the trader through the
most delightful home scenerv : is eyes had ever
! lighted on.
ll' English landscape pliant to the Amer
ican of the present day, who must needs con
trast the rich woods and glowing pastures, and
picturesque ancient villages of the old country
with the rough aspect of his own, how much j
, pleasanter must Harry Warrington's course
have been, whose journeys had lain through i
swamps and forest solitudes from one Virginian
ordinary to another log-house at the end of the
day's route, and who now lighted suddenly
upon the busy, happy, splendid scene of En
glish summer?
And the high-road a hundred rears ago, was
was not that grass-worn desert I the present
time. It was alive with constant' travel and
traffic: the country towns and inn? swarmed
with life and gaiety. The ponderous wagon,
with its bells and plodding t--am: the light post
coach that achieved the journey from the White
Hart, Salisbury, to the Swan with Two Necks,
London, in two days; the strings of pack-horse?
that had not yet left the road: mv lord's gilt
post-chaise and sis, with the outriders galloping
on a-head: the country squire's great coach and
heavy Flanders mares; the farmers trottmg to
market, or the parson jolting to the cathedra!
town on Dumpling, his wife behind on the pil
lion—all these crowding sights and risk peo
ple greeted the young traveller on his summer
journey.
Hodge, the farmer's boy, took ofF his hat, and
Pollv, the milkmaid, bobbed a courtesy, as the
chaise u hirled over the pleasant viliage-areen
and the white-headed children lifted their chub
by faces and cheered. The church spires
glistened with gold, the cottage-gables gbred in
sunshine, the great elms murmured in summer,
or cast purple shadows over the grass. Young
VVarringtoh never had such a glorious dav or
j witnessed a scene so delightful.
To be nineteen years of age, with high health,
high spirits, and a full purse; to be making
your first journey, and rolling through the coun
try in a jKistcliaise at nine miles an hour—O
happy youth ! almost it makes one young to
think of him ! lint Harry was too eager to give
moie than a passing glance at the Abbey at
Math, or gaze with more than a moment's won
der at tiie mighty minister at Salisbury. Until
he beheld Home it seemed to him he had no
eyes for any other place.— The Virginians—
-7 Tale of the. Last Century. By IV. M.
Thackeray.
TIIE ELEPHANT AND THE NABOB.
The favorite elephant of the grand vizier
under Rajah Dowlah was the hero of a noble
feat. This great nabob was about to make the
j diveisiori of a mighty hunt in the neighborhood
of Lucknow, where the game i? rather plenti
ful. The preparations being completed, and
a train of Indian nobility assembled, the pro
i cession.of Nimrods began to move off for the
field. After passing through a ravine, the gor
geous sportsmen entered the meadow, which
was covered with sick people, who were lying
exposed to get the berefit ofthe pure air, and
they were so distributed as to obstruct the course
of the beasts of burden. Rajah Dowlah was
intent upon feeding his cruel eves with the sight
that the mangling of the bodies of the miserable
creatures would produce, by compelling the
huge elephants to trample them under foot.
The grand vizier rode upon his own beast, and
the nabob ordered the driver to goad him on,
and he went at a quick pace, hut when he ar
rived at tile spot ofthe indisposed people, tho'
in a trot, the sagacious animal stopped short
before the first invalid. The vizier cursed him
the driver goaded him; and the nabob cried,
"Stick him to the ear!" AH, however, was in
vain. More humane than his snperior, the ele
phant stood firm, and refused to violate his bet
ter feeling. At length, seeing the poor crea
tures hrlpless, and unable to move themselves
oat of the way he took up the first with his
trunk and laid him gently down again out of his
path. He did the same with the second, and
third, and so on, until he bad made a clear pass
age, along which the retinue could pass with
out doing injury to any one of them. The
brute and the man made an exchange of their
proper sentiments, and humanity triumphed in
the brute.
HF"" When a fellow is too lazy to work,"
says Sam Slick, -'he paints his name oyer the
door, and calls it a tavern or grocery, and
make the whole neighborhood as lazy a3 him
self."
TERJI.S, S2 PER YEAR.
NEW SERIES VOL 1, NO. 18.
£j um or c us.
A RICH PUFI.
A manufacturer aud vender of quack medi
cines recently wrote to a friend of his, living
out West, for a " good strong recommendation
jof iiis (the manufacturer's) "Balsam." In a
few days he received the following which wr
call pretty "strong."
"DEAR Slß: —The land composing my farm
| has hitherto been so jioor that a Scotchman
could not get his iiving ofF it, and so stony
that we had to slice our potatoes and plan*
I them edgeways : —but hearing of your ♦Balsam,"
I put some on a corner of the ten acre lot sur
rounded by a rail fence, and in the morning I
found the rock had entirely disappeared : a ileal
stone wall encircled the field , and the rail#
were split into oven wood and piled up symroe
■ trically in my back yard.
I put half an ounce into the middle of a
| huckleberry swamp, and in two davs it wan
cleared off, planted with corn and pumpkin-,
and a row of peach trees in full blossom through
' the middle.
As an evidence of its tremendons strength,
I would say that it drew a striking likeness of
my oldest daughter, drew my eldest son out of
a mill pond, drew a blister all over his stom
ach, drew a load of potatoes fonr miles to mar
ket, and eventually drew a prize ofnineiv-sewa
dollars in a lottery."
sCP"An old negro crossing the river from
a dancing frolic, lost his oars, and came near
swamping. In terror, he fell down on his knees,
and exclaimed,'o massa Lord, if ebber gwine
to help old Ira, now'sde time! r
jyA student of medicine in Michigan
having courted a girl a year and got the mitten
i has turned and sued her father for the visits
he paid her.
i< a DANDY?—A thing in par.; ,-
loons, with a body and two arms—a he-ii
without brains, and a cigar stuck in a hole
before—tight boots—a cane—a scented white
•handkerchief—standing collar—two brooches
and a showy ring on his little finger.
I a trial of three-year-old colts, at the
Oneida County fair, Job Crocker wastrottic;,
I his tall, gaunt colt at full speed, and in such an
eager manner—with his head stretched forward
I and his mouth wide open—as to attract the
| crowd, when Donaldson sung out, "Shut your
mouth, Job, or the draught will stop your
| horse."
HF"A fellow was invited a party, one
, evening, where there was music, both vocal
and instrumental. On Ihefotfowing morning,
he met one of the guests, who said, "Well how
did you enjoy yourself last night? were not the
quartettes excellent?"—" Well, really, I cant
say," said he, " for I didn't taste them; but 1h
j pork chops were the finest I ever ate!"
I? 3 " WHAT is MAN I —A young lady answers
"A thing to waltz with, a thing to flirt with.to
take one to places of amusement, to laugh at, to
■be married to, to pay one's bills, to keep one
i comfortable." Not far from the truth.
TP" A talkative member of Parliament was
reproaching one of his colleagues for not hav
ing "opened his mouth" the whole session.
"You are mistaken," he replied, "for I yawned
through all your speeches."
is a lady down east so high-minded
i that she disdains to own that she has common
sense. There area great manv of the same suit
n . . "
j to be found in othpr localities.
EP"The Philadelphia Gazette, speaking o? i
new prima donna, says : —"Her voice is as.-wfl
as a roll of velvet, and as tender as a pair of sfop
i shop pantaloons."
iE?"Brother Jonathan thus describes a steam
boat : "It's got a saw-mill on one side and grist
mill on t'other, and a blacksmith shop in the
middle."
[t~P"Ra!ph Waldo Emerson speaks, in his
"Representative Men,"as follows, of Napoleon:
"He was a thief. He was rude in the extreme.
He pinched ladies' cheeks. He listened to
hear others secrets. He peeped through key
holes."
iTF""! say, Pat, what are you about—sweep
ing out that room ?" "No," answered Pat, "J
was sweeping the dirt, and leaving the room."
Why is a ladv putting on her corsets like a
man who drinks to drown his grief?
Because in so-lacin T herself she's getting
tight.
age is becoming more refined.
"Root hog or die," is now rendered as follows
"Penetrate the subsoil my porcine friend, or
early expect an obituary notice on your untime
ly demise."
latest caspof absenceof mind is that
of a young who, on returning from a
walk with her lover, the other evening, rapped
him on the face, and bade good-night to the
door.
jilted chemist finds love to be composed
of fifteen parts of gold, three of fame, and two of
affection.
HFThe who was "filled with emotion"
hadn't room for his dinner.
GTir"An English barber advertises to shave
anything—even "the face of nature."
clergyman, who was consoling a young
widow on the death of her husband, spoke in a
very serious tone, remarking that he was "one
of thefew. Such a jewel of a Christian; you cab
not find his equal, you well know." To which
the sobbing fair one replied, with an almost
broken heart: "I'll bet I will!"