.Tormii of XullieatIon.
Tai Waysmburo. ltr.ri'nucir, Offlra In
Bayere' bullillnff.cantof the Court House, la pub
lished every Weilnenlny morning, at t pet
annum, i!t auvahcx, or i J so if nut paid with
in the year. Alleuborrlptlae) arrountaaLirr
fee aetlleel annually. Jo paper will bo lettl
rat of the State unites paid for in advance, and
all iucIi iilwrl)tlon will Invariably lie illsron.
tinned at the expiration of Ilia time fur which
they are pnld.
C'oiniminlouilonnon enlJt of loeal or general
lntofcitl arn rt'niMvtfully Hnllvlleit. To piisure
attention fiivors of this kind mnal Invariably be
e,:ooiiinnleil by the nuine of the author, not for
publlriittoii, hut an iruaranty OKitliiNt impiMltloii,
All IHIers purtuUiliiK to miHliieMof the ottiee
limt beadilmuted to the Alitor.
gottry.
Prom Arthur'! Homo Maasine,
KETBOMI'EiT.
by m. n. r.
Think Ond for thin beautiful summer
Of (lory and gladness and peace t
From war, with In terror and anguish,
Tliank Uod tut oar perfect releaae I
trough year of darknaa and doubting,
We hnveetrugirled up to thiaday t
Thank Ood tbat the light It dawning.
And donbt U panto- away I
f
That under our blood-washed banner,
Wherever ill brliiht atare wave,
' A promise of truth and wlaclora,
There nrcuthca to-day no alave I
With our hearta yot full with tho teaching
Of the paat'a great Iceaon of puln,
Pan our faith iu Uod, my brother!,
Ever grow faint again f
Have thwe Iceaon filled to teach ui
That the right mint aurely win t
That wrong la tho dark inertia
Ut good, In tills world of slu ?
And tliangh amne clouds yet darken
The aky of our own loved land,
fan we not remember HI promise,
Ami trust to Ilia guiding hand 7
Thero aro homes, tlint the Joy dopnrted
1,'u.n never comu baek to more ;
There are dosolnte mourning household,
And honrta that are aching aore
And totlieirt wo mm only wlilaper,
Throuiih Mm blinding taar that How,
Look tip to your loving Father
llo sees and pith's you aol
Hut yon who trave for Freedom
Yoamnnhood'a hopeaof prldo.
Who are anylng, now, In mulneai,
"It were better wc had dlod !"
Oh, heart-alek, doirmlrlni? brother,
Me proud of each wound nud aenr ;
They nre glorious badges of honor,
They Hhuw wlmt heroes ye aro!
And or those who win the battle
(Jf 1 1 font Duty cnll.
The one who ruleth his spirit
la the greatest victor of alL
With priilii ahull your names be Hpoken,
Anil born on each pure lieart'a prayer
Wheru'er ItlKbt'a beautiful emblem,
Our bauunr, liouta in air.
iod bless that banner forever,
. Ami keep It front every alaln,
Ami grout that treason limy never
Dim Its bright atara ngnlu,
AKTtttt S WHI).
A "atone" to thee we'll mlNO, depurted friend,
"Imposing'' lu Its "form," ami tow'rlng high
A trlbtno to thy worth, wid"h e'er will tend
Towuke for thco a thought from pusnera-hy.
Thy "form," though firmly "locked" in death's
"em-binre,"
Htlll soem to linger with thy fellows hero;
And while u jui.ium
Wo "sol" this tribute u'er thy lonely bier,
Thou wert a "type" of what we rail a St XV,
A "lieur" and honent "face" you nlwaya bore ;
Your "proof" wore "cleuti," nml we in vain
might senn
To Awl an "error" as we looked them o'er,
tto more will life'silull cares thy sp Irlt chnfe,
Nor awcel and hitter In thy potion blend ;
For thou halt thy reward In heaven snfe,
Where Joy, and pcuco, and loviwill never end,
Farewell! We place npon thy tomb
Thisepltaph, which In ourheart la penned,
And lay to generations yet to come
"Haita Mica Aiitkmi aWAnn, tub rmsTo
B!I!"
rHILADKLf til A, August, 18HT,
A ex-Union officer of high standing, lately
from Galveston, give figures which show the
ravage of the yellow fever to be unprece
dented. At the time of General Oriffln'a
funeral, of the twonty-teven men on the roilt
of the battalion stationed thero, only four of
ficer and twenty-four men could be obtained
for cacort duty. The fatality among old clll
cent hat been very great, some thus carried
off having lived through seventeen seasons of
jeptdetnic.
In Missouri, during the war, a loyal stage
driver persisted in driving hi route. Ui
friend, feariug for his life, tried to frighten
Wm. Hii horaei wcro near a grave-yard. One
Jrfayed ghost, when he went, at midnight, to
jet them. The ghost italked solemnly across
ills pain, all In white, laying "beware!"
"Whoa, January," aaytJehu, delivering a
Jotty kick on the side of the spook, "Wotyer
doin" out here this time o' night ? Git back
in yer hole t" ,
"La bm !" said Mr. Partington, here 1 have
(Men tattering the bigamies of de ath for three
mortal weeks. First I was seized with bleed
ing phrenology In the left bamshier of the
brain, which was exceeded by a stoppage of
M Ml ventilator of the heart. This gave me
f aflaoadoa of the borax, and now I'm tick
with cbJorolorm morbus. Then lino bless
ing e health, especially when Ttrntrisick."
CotAua .Wrr. "Mr bruddcrt," said a
eracgMt colored man to a crowd, "in all af
fliction, in all ob your trouble, dar is one
place where yen can always And sympathy. "
"JVTiar f whar I" cried several.
'In si dictionary," be replied, rolling his
arfet BSWard.:.,.. . "..
CaTT. 00. W., ALEXAKhKR, at one Utat in
jmaMUtid of Cattle Thunder prison in Rlch
smoad, Va , and who lied to England when
'tho ear terminated,' It said to be a common
mUmJta aa East India vessel toiling from
lUverpoaL .. Ha wat a regular Bom baste Fu
rtoeo and, a brattl and cruel fellow, tnd doi
wvell to stay away frotu.hi native country.
iQov. 8ta was to raxlew.a.tOO troops in
IFalliaaaw. oa the Kith, all In Confederate
aa-. rt4uviioa f idi nUttia. 4tM
coiBptgtj' waa icfuaed admhtaaca unhl It
bftwght proof that all the members had serv
ad bsmW the ttan and ban . and they openly
aar llttartht hMtsal toasppott ADdrvwJoha
ana, aatt katftha mmp- out of the cpi
M. :r,;;;;;;';,;; .
T Wlowlag eiitaph nay ba found on a
ihaatl bjatfJ. awcttd hi a eh arch yard la U
aXfiatataaaat'-rev .
Jlert 3a4MWaViMre, ' ' '
'The wan h rio the Jeat be spent i
Of haw fm t hamvaa walll all ba ttwea.
AawaawL ff cOlcli will be Oinme Kir
4oo1b.
gfto (KSYt W ' 3tiS)
lie ilapeiiiii He
JAJ3. Z 8AYERS,
VOL. XI.
rf flcrt grading.
tllIM.Ilft IIR8T B.1BT.
Mrs. Phillips fu on the very pin
nacle of felicity. She yna the mother
of a boy which weighed eleven pounds.
Air. 1'iiillips but lair to lose nig
mind enterely. He danced and sang,
and fired intnflfroirt the top of his corn
house, whistled Yanke Doodle while
eating his breakfast, and running the
necks of all the luwls on tlie place, to
make a chicken pie for the celebration.
This worthy couple had been marri
ed ten years, and this was their first
child. People had to laugh at them
ten yeam on aecouut of their luck ;
poopli! who were overrun with chil
dren, and whose lives were made mis
erable by the scoldings and dpaiikings
they found it necessary to inflict on
their wretched little olive plants.
Now, Mrs. Phillips said, she guess
ed they'll laugh out of the other side.
There hat! never been so large a baby
Iwrn inSraithfield before. Mrs. Jones'
only weighed nine pounds, and had a
pug nose, Mrs. Sawyers' was red hair
ed and had n mole on bis right foot
a siiresiirn that it would come to a bad
eutl and only weighed seven pounds
and fourteen ounces I She guessed
people had better look at home before
thev mtisrhptl.
Raby proved to be a Tartar. He
bad a temper like a wind mill, and
seemed determined to develop his feet
and itintrs to the utmost while he had
leisure, for ho screamed and kicked
twenty-three out of the twenty-founr
hours.
Rut his mother declared he was an
angel. AVe never can imagine an
angel with pufly red cheeks, heels ele
vated in the air, sucking a sugar teat,
and being bounced about in a pillow
cradle to the tune of "High diddle
deed !" but then our imagination is not
by any means so vivid as it might lie.
From the hour in which ho was
born, be was the Autocrat of the house
hold ; everything had to bow to his
nod.
The scullery door creaked ; it was
taken o(F the hinges, and the servant
was in the draft all the time, because
she might disttird the babv, For the
samo reason the collce milf was moved
into the wood shed, the dishes must be
washed out of doors the clutter of the
plates niudo baby scream the wash
ing was done in the bnrn ; all the
:!ocks in the house were stopped ; the
il.i.r u-iM milvied, mid the cat choked
till li'om the lenr of disturbing the
baby.
Mr. Phillips paid a blacksmith who
was located within a quarter of a mile,
one hundred dollars to move his shop,
and Raddy was moved to the back loll
of the wood shed on account of her
snoring.
The child's dresses were legion. It
was a wonder that it could draw its
breath with so many terrible ailments
dinging to it. Mrs. Phillips was con
tinually on the watch for some now
demonstration.
"Charles 1" tried she, waking her
liiislwnd from slumber one cold winter
night "it seems to me that baby docs
not breathe iust riirht."
Mr. Phillips s prang upsnd listened.
"Good gracious, he's got the snuffles,
am t he!
"Oh, dear, what shall we do if Lady
is going to be sick T
Mr. Phillips got a light, and the
anxious parents brought it to bear on
the face of their child.
"Oh, heavens 1" cried his mother,
"his face is actually purple ! he's going
to have scarlet fever. See that red
spot on his ellww."
"It may be where he's laid on it,"
remarkcdMr. Phillips.
"Laid on it, eh ! you unfeeling man,
you unnatural father! Antl there it's
sucking its thumb: I've known it
from the fii-st it would not live: it
sucked its thumb so much,"
"Seems to me that I ve heard my
mother sav that it was a sign of a
healthy child to suck its thumb, but I
won't be certain: Any way, it is a
good sign or a bad one; I forget
which."
"Ilnn, Charles, for the doctor! It's
going to die I know it is! Oh, don't
stop to dress (km t J It may die
while you are waiting. Call for Gran
ny Bates, and tell her to brine some
catnip, and caffron, and peppermint
tell her to bring all the herl she s cot !
and do hurry Charles, do J Mercy oa
... t : li.! i -it. i.- A.
im . Its BUUKIIIir UBUl IIIUIIIUS MlUll
Cbarlas, ranJ"
Mr. Phillips caught tin the first
articles of clothing he could lay his
hands on, which proved to bo Ids
wife's embroidered petticoat, but he
was in too much hase, and altogether
too much excited to notice dress par
ticularly. He flung the garment over
his head, and tied it around his waist
ipped on his shoes and nlunircd
into the keen air. The Doctor was
asleep, and did not care about turning
at sat being told that it was a caaa
of life and death, he yielded at once.
Air. f hillips left him dressing, and
sped to the residence of Granny Rates.
The old lady was wise bat she waa
cry superstitious and believed in
warnings and apparitions.' Phillips
Sit a thundering rap at her door, and
rectly a night capped bead appeared
at the upper window.
"What do yon want at this time or
the night and who be ye V said the
cracked voice.
Ptiilme stermcd out and stood
hpWiary pereftled try the Jhght of dim
moon.
"Goofl gracWs, nulssy,l!,' -cried .(e
FIRMNESS IN THE RIGHT
WAVMlSHlitG, PA., WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 23, 1867.
old woman, "its got a scolloped petti
coat on. Land, I didn't think they'd
spend their time on such vanities as
that are I"
"It's a dying I" exclaimed Phillips
"come down quick!"
"Not I ! I ain't so green as to trust
my old body to a supernatural ghost !"
and down went the window with a
bang. Phillips pounded at the door
until he was tired, and then made
tracks for his home.
"Dr. Gray had just arrived. Mrs.
Phillips was preparing to go into
hysterics as soon as she heard his opin
ion. Baby was much worse j it was not
only sucking its thumbs, but wiggled
its toes. It could not continue long.
The doctor, with a grave face, entered
tho sick room. Biddy nibbed her
mistress with camphor. Mr. Phillips
stood by, wiping his eyes, with the
drapery of his scant attire.
"Oh, doctor! doctor! will it die?
Only save it doctor, and vou may take
all I have! cried Mrs. Phillips,
wringing her hands. "I'll get down
011 my knees to you and thank you
forever.
"Keen your sitting, marm, keep
your sitting." said the doctor, taking
a large pinch ot snull.
"Don't keep me in suspense ! Only
look at its precious little arm ! What
is it ! For tho love of heaven tell
me let mo know the worst."
"Hell, marm, it l speak out, you
promise not to blame me?" asked the
doctor gravely.
"No, no!"
"Marm," said he, with his long face
still more fearfully elongated, "it is
my opinion as a man nnd physician,
that the child has been bitten by lour
bed bugs, or else ho has been bitten in
four places bv one insect of that de
scription."
"Dr. Gray, cried tho father, "do
yon mean to insult us?
"Ry no means, sir ; I repeat, sir, that
I think
"No, you don't!" yelled Mrs. P,
It's enough to insinuate that I have
bed bugs, to say nothing of the libel
on that little angel cherub. Get out
of this house this instant, you mean
cheating, insulting old vagabond!" am
seizing the butter ladle from the table,
where Biddy had laid it full of hot
pepper ten, she flung it at him. The
doctor knew enough about women to
realize that in flight lay safety, with a
hasty bow lie backed oil the step and
started lor Ins gig. J ho ground was
inclined ; and quite icy. 1H hoel
flew up, his head went down, and his
whole bodv spun down the hill like a
steel shod cutter. Mrs. 1'., nothing
daunted, rushed after him, and shared
the same fate. I he two brought up
together at the foot of the hill, in a
watering trough, but no words of sym
pathy were exchanged, The doctor
got up as quick as ho could, and gal
loped home, and Mrs. Phillips follow
ed his example.
The baby lived and throve. As it
grew older, its dictatorship became
more and more absolute. Phillips
was down on all fours the greater part
of his time, that the baby might ride
on Ins back; and Mrs. Phillips went
without crinoline, and left her arms
bare in the coldest weather because the
steel springs and her dress sleeves hurt
the baby.
Raby made a complete wreck of all
the crockery in the house pounded it
with a hammer ; he kicked his heels
through the looking glasses, and tore
the inwards out of pa's gold watch
unmolested. It pleased the deary,
weary, scary, baby, his mother said
the little milty sugar plummy boy.
One day, when the wonderful boy
was a year old, the village inhabitants
were startled bv the disbelieved appa
rition of Mrs. Phillips bare headed,
and wearing a wild expression of
countenance hurrying at a frantic
rate to the joiner's shop, where her
husband worked; and instantly re
appeared, followed by Mr. Phillips at
a dog trot.
Old Squire Smith saw them, and
being a man who iy4 in constant
dread of fire, he thought it must be
the residence of Mr. Phillips was in
flames. The old gentleman was per
fectly insane on the subject of confla
gration, and at the top of bis lungs
raised the cry :
"Fire! fire! fire!"
"Where? where?" cried a score of
voices,
"Charles Phillips' house!" said the
old gentleman.
The fire company gathered, got out
the engine, and ran with all speed to
the fatal house. But to their aston
ishment they did not as much as smell
a puff of smoke in the region.
I ho head fireman, who was some
thing of a wag, knocked at the door.
Mrs. Phillips appeared, absolutely ra
diant
"Is this the house, allow me to in
quire ma'am, that we are expected to
squirt on V said ithe fireman.
"I do not andcrstana yon," sain
Mrs. P., "but baby has walked two
steps two steps b his ova feet,
alone!"
"Sold! bv Jupiter !" cried ithe re-
man ; "and now Doys. notes icnree
times three to the baby th walked
three steps! Hearty; meof
And thev gave three cheers. tVaak
a barrel of cider which Mr. Phillips
roUed out, and then returned home, 1
" .-ass-atBatBfiifciaataaaa. i.aMa-
Th Chicago JTbkm ays kith wicked
wit: "In Europe the tailors are en a
strike. So .is wno of tfhtnn in this
country."
AS GOD GIVES D3 TO SEE THE
BOY LMT,
He had black eyes, with long lashes,
red cheeks, and hair almost black and
curly. He wore a crimson plaid jack
et, with full trowsers buttoned on ; had
a habit of whistling, and liked to ask
questions ; was accompanied by a small
black dog. It is a long time now
since he disappeared. 1 1 have a very
pleasant house, and much company.
My guests say, "Ah ! it is pleasant to
be here. Everything has such an or
derly, put-away look nothing about
under foot no dirt." But my eyes
arc aching for the sight of whittling
and cut paper on the floor ; of tumb
led down card-housesjof wooden sheep
and cattle ; of pop-guns, bows and ar
rows ; whips, tops, go-carts, blocks,
and trumpery, I want to see crumbs
on the carpet, and paste spilt on the
kitchen table, I want to see the chairs
and tables turned the wrong way about.
I want to see candy-making and corn
poiiping, and to find jack-knives nnd
fish-hooks among my, muslins. Yet
these things used to fret mo once.
"How quiet you aro here. Ah ! one
may settle his brains and beat peace."
But my ears aro aching for the pat
tering "of little feet; for a hearty shout,
a shrill whistle, a gay , tra la : for the
crack of little whips ; for tho noiso of
drums, fifes, and tin trumpets. Yet
these things mado me nervous once.
They say : "Ah ! yon have leisure,
nothing to disturb you. What heaps
of sewing you have time for !" But I
long to bo disturbed. I want to be
asked for a bit of string or an old
newspaper ; for a cent to buy a slate
pencil or peanuts. I want to be coax
ed for a piece of now oloth for jibs and
mainsails, and thou to hem tho same.
I want to make little flags, and bags
to hold marbles. I wafit to be follow
ed by littlo feet all over tho house,
toosed for n bit of dough for a little
cake, or to bake a pie in a saucer. Yet,
these things used to fidget mo once.
They say ; "Ah ! you are not tied at
home. J low delightful to be always
at liberty for concerts, lectures and
parties! No confinement for you."
Rut I want confinement. I want to
listen to the school-bell mornings, to
give the last hasty wash and brush,
and then to watch from the window
nimble feet bounding away to school.
I want frequent rents to mend, and to
rcplaco lost buttons. I want to obli
terate mud-stains, molasses stains, ond
paints of all colors. I want to bo sit
ting by a littlo crib of evenings, when
weary littlo feet are at rest, and prat
tling voices are hushed, that mothers
may sing their lullahys, and tell over
their ott-repeated stories. They don't
know their happiness, then, these
mothers; I didn't. All these things I
called confinement once.
A manly figure stands before me
now. He is taller than I, has thick
whiskers, wears a frock-coat, a bos
omed shirt and a cravat. He has just
come from col lego, lie brings Latin
and Greek iu his countenance, and
busts of tho old philosophers in the
sitting room, lie calls me mother,
but I am rather unwilling to own him.
He avers that ho is my boy, and says
that he can prove it. He brings his
Jittla boat to show tho red stripe on
the sail (it was the end of the piece)
and the name on the stern, Lucy
Lowo, a little girl of our neighbor,
who, because of her long curls and
pretty, round face, was the chosen
favorite ot my boy. The curls were
long since cut off, and she has grown
to a tall, handsome, girl. How his
face reddens as he shows the name on
tho boat? Oh! I see it all as plain
as if it were written in a book. Mv
little boy is lost, and my big boy wifl
soon be. Oh, I wish he wcro a littlo
tired boy in a long night-gown, lying
in his crib, with mc sitting by, hold',
ing his hand in mine, pushing tho
curls lack from his forehead, watching
his eyelids droop, and listening to his
deep breathing. .
it 1 only had my littlo boy again,
how patient I would be I How much
I would bear, and how little I would
fret and scold ! I can never have
him back again ; but , there are still
many mothers who have not yet lost
their littlo boys. I wonder if they
know thev Bra livinir their verv best
days, that now is the time to really en
joy their children ! I think if I had
oecn more to my lijtlp boy, I might
now be more to my grown up one.
Honxe Hagaxine. .
Problem. Suppose a man and n
girl were to get married the man 35
years old, and the girl 5 years, this
makes the man seven times as old as
the girl ; they live together until the
girl is ten years old, this makes the
man 40 year old, and four times as
old as the girl ; and they still live un
til she is 15, the man would be 45 ;
this makes the man three times as old,
and they still live till she is 30 years
old, this makes the man 60, only
twice as old and so on. rtow how
long would they have to live to make
the girl as old as the man ?
BnntT Wabd Btacana, la bit discourse on
Sunday, tatd that "Soma men win Bat sbavt
on Sunday, and yet they spend all the week la
abaiag their fcUnw mea; and many folks
think it Try wicked to black their boots on
aVwday mnrnlnc ret tW do aot bctftata to
bjaak their nlghbofi reaaiatioa -tt weak
ya."
"How hearlly ran walk!" axclaimtd a
vatahfu! poe 6n bearing' bar hoi band tum
ble bpttatr bit at night. 'We'll, my dear...
wsfthe graffrttpoatelf yon canget abarrel or
whisky BP Main with any lett noise, I should
like tosetyoudoU." .
RIGHT. Lincoln.
HOI rtl MALT KtVKBI
There is supposed to be a popular
saline region somewhere this side the
Mountains of the Moon, whither wend
their way disappointed politicians after
the close of Important elections.- Some
years ago the Salt River district was
reported by those who bad been there
as a right smart and pleasant abode,
but lately it has received anything but
a favorable reputation, for the tinter-
ntied Democratic party nave long
held their residence in the neighbor
hood, and under their rule fain has
followed. The churches were des
troyed, the school houses burned, the
railways abandoned for corduroy
roads, slavery established, and a near
approach to primitive ages was made,
for retrogression was the mischievous
policy of the party In occupancy. Gen
eral Apathy, however, found them in
due time and brought them back to
the haunts of civilization. The noisy
turmoil and cheers for Sharswood
heard on our streets, the establishment
of cockpits in newspaper oflices, and
other uncivilized conduct, mark the
poor men who have just got down
from tho salino regions.
Rut there is a new day dawning
for Snlt River. Its navigation is to
be improved, the lands on its banks
are to be cultivated. Tho region left
in ruin by Democrats is to be inhabit
ed for a short time by tho progressive
party, and what changes will be
wrought? Churches and suhool houses
will spring up, railroads will checker
tho land, and universal freedom will
be re-established. We have our ticket,
sent all the way from Philadelphia.
It is issued by the Democratio State
lino nnd in stupidity is great, As the
chief literature of the opposition is
hand bills and minstrel "dodgers," the
design for the pretentious cord has
been drawn from a moderately well
supplied job-ofliee, and docs not lack
for "nagur" hoods, "Pomp on ioe,"
and "Sambo in a clog dance." So the
card passes us wo presume it is all
right; but wo choose to accept another
ticket, issued by the Allegheny County
Committee of the Democracy, because
it is sirtallcr in size and the quantity
of wit displayed. It beats a steam
boat cut, antl contains local hits not
unworthy a sleek and well fed boot
black's wit. Either ticket will do to
reach the point to which we are tem
porarily assigned, but e are consoled
m knowing that our crowd is great on
reconstruction. I'Mn. Uazctte.
WHAT THr. WATTSH jWASJ.
Twenty or thirty years ago, when
missionary enterprise was in its infancy
among the islands of the South Seas,
Captain Summers anchored his sloop-
oi-war oit one ot the Marquesas,
i think it was. I lie next morning
he saw an American flag floating
from the beam, Union down. This
excited him fearfully, of course, and
ne scut on a boat at once to inquire
into the matter. Presently the Doat
returned and brought a grave-looking
missionary, Tj8 Captain's anxiety
ran high. He said t
"What was the trouble out there?
quick!"
"Woll T .m
said the missionary, "that the natives
havo been Interrupting our sacerdotal
exercises."
"No! blast their yallcr hides,
I'll whaf; what was it you said
they'd been doing ?" -
"It pains mc, sir, ' to say that they
have been interrupting our sacerdotal
exercises.
"Interrupting your your your
h 11! Man the starboard guns!
Stand bv. all! to givo'eiu the whole
battery (''
I lie astonished clergyman hastened
to protest against such excessive rigor
ous measures, and finally succeeded in
making the old tar understand that
the natives had only been breaking up
a prayer meeting.
"Oh, devil take it, man, is thnt all 7
I thought you meant that they'd stop
ped your grog !"
CimiosrTiEs Wasted. The ton
most bough of an axletree;a twig
from a branch of trade; a crust from
the roll of the ocean ; a feather from
the crest fallen wave (some quills from
the wings of the wind; a lock of hair
from the head of a column ; a hoop
from the palo of society; the knife
used by ringers when pealing bells ; a
broom for sweeping assertions; a collar
for a neck of hind ; a quizzing glass
for an eye to business; a rocker from
the cradle of the dfii ; a few tear
from a weeping willow ; some down
from the bosom of a lake; a pin to
fasten the tie of friendship; the toogae
oi speaking eye: a leg from the stool
f repentance ; a link nVem a chain of
evideaee; a feauer from fancy s
WiflgS.
Ladibb BATniso. A correspon
dent says it is very amusing te watch
the ladies featfe. They are almost
always timid, aad avoid fsingintt)
the water as long as potasUa, prefer
ring to run down fce beach just near
enough to get their delicate little feet
damp, and than tore, fa the most
heArVrenderinc rjtanafO Tby ait
along the beach and ma! aa nias.'
ask those who come out iroe watt it
eold or deep, and hovtJkey feel At
last having wee me wffieientlr cour
ageous, they form a Jiae by -taking
hold of another's "hands, and slowly
inaugurate a second "march to the
sea."
EDIlOli AA'l) PUBLISHER.
NO. 18.
"I'll Ha Trad T."
Two cetitflnes ago it was thought an
insult in the Highland of Scotland to
ask a note frtfrd a debtor. It was con
sidered the same as saying, "I doubt
youf honor" If parties had busines
matters to transact, they stepped into
the air, fixed their eves upon the heav-
ens each repeated his obligation, with
no mortal witness A mark was then
carted tnt some rock or treo near by
as remembrance of a compact. Such
a thing as a breach of contract was
. . . .... . ..
rarely met with, so highly did the peo
ple regard their honor.
When the niarch of improvement
brought tlie new ntode of doing busi
ness, they were dften pained by these
innovations. An aneeddte is handed
down of a farmer who had been to the
Lowlands and learned worldly wis
dom. On returning to his native par
ish ho hod need of a sum of money,
and made bold to ask a loan of a gen
tleman of means, named Stewart. This
was cheerfully granted, and Mr. S.
counted out the gold. This done, the
farmer wrote a reciupt, and oliorcu it
to the gentleman.
"What is tins, man?' cried Mr
Stewart, sternly eyeing the slip of pa
per.
"It is a receipt, sir, binding mo to
give ye back your gold nt tho right
time, replied SaildVi
" Binding ve ? Well, my man, if ye
canna trust yourself I'm sure I'll na
trust ye! Ye canna ha my gnldl"
And gathering it up, he put it back in
his desk ami turned his key on it.
"Rut, sir, I might die," replied the
canny Scotchman, bringing up an ar
gument in favor of his new wisdom,
"ami my sons might refuse it yc. Jstit
this bit of paper wad compel them."
"Compel them to sustain a dead flit h
er's honor?" cried the Scot. "They'll
need compelling to do right, it this is
tho road yer leading them ! I'll neith
er trust yo nor them. ie can gang
elsewhere for money ! But ye'll find
nano in this parish that II put more
faith in a bit o' paper than in a ncigh-
Iwr s word o honor and his fear o
God !"
Fan na a Profrsalnii.
The business of making people laugh
is no joke. Yoricks, whose specialty
it is to set the table in a roar, are gen
erally, when oft' duty, a chop-fallen
tribe. W nters who produce largely
for the humorous pniters are, in nt
least three cases out of five, gloomy
and tacltnrn. Comic actors m a clas
have alwavs been notorious for their
melancholy bearing behind the scenes.
Listen, the English comedian, the ex
pression of whose face, even in repose,
was solu dicrous that it provoked laugh
ter, saw one of the most confirmed hy
pochondriacs of his day ; and "Billy
Williams" for years the leading repre
sentative of broad farces In this country,
used to blubber like a whipped school
boy whenever anything went wrong
with him. When Dominique, the
French farorur, was convulsing all
Paris with his drolleries, a physician
of that oity was one day visited by a
miserable looking roan, who asked
what he should do to got rid of a hor
rible desire to commit suicide whioli
continually haunted him. "Go and see
Domlnique'said the doctor "Alas J"
replied the unfortnnato wretch, "I am
Dominique." Forced humor is indeed
a sorry business. There is a reaction
ary principle in human nature which
renders depression the inevitable con
sequence of over strained merriment.
The philosophy of all this is, that al
though wit and hnmor arc cheerful
faculties when suffered to develop
themselves spontaneously, they arc
3uitethe reverse when compelled to
rudge. In fact, no one faculty can lie
overworked except at the expense of all
the others, To keep the body in a
healthy, vigorous, elastio condition, all
its attributes must be properly exer
cised. It is the same with the mind.
W4fwi stint art qrc,
Mr. Green Triplet, of Flemlagsburg,
Ky., sold a horse to the Govermcnt
early in the war. The same horse was
taken to Cincinnati and sold to an
officer in the United States army, and
since that timenothingwas heard of him
until afew days ago, when he returned
tothefarm of Mr.Triplet who had raiead
him from a colt. The horse was fotir
years old when ho left, and now
returns aged eight years, having been
on quite a tour since ho left his homo.
Where he came from, er bowhe manag
ed to find the place f bis birth, is in
volved ja mystery,
Mr. Triplet is an excellent hand with
horses, and it is supposed that the ani
mal was badly treated, and having
evaded the vigilance ef his masters,
has returned to the home of his choice.
This is a remarkable illustration ofthe
wondrous instinct possessed by the
horse. This horse was absent four
long years in distant aad strange lands,
and baw ha Managed to find nis way
back hom ta quite a problem for the
naturalist It shows that the terse
is pcsscaasd fa wonderful iaatisot,
ana years do net tripe out his memory.
A ooxtnpoirsgcTr f the London
OUbt gives an account of a disgusting
vncim jut jpiayea on Datwean a
Iraaefc Marqnia and ma lady gwats,
They put fiouxia bis bad. He had it
scraped off ia person, mada into cake
and furnished to them. After they
a. a .
nau eaten ne gave a recipe tor raakin
the cake, "First, take your flour an
roil a man in it.
Terms oF AdratltJBgfr
inn
f til.
firtnmmnm laamtcal at tt M ar Mar
for tarn Inasrtlmu, aaxf M Mart ft M"'
fur euch aildirfoMl imcrrlowriuai Unas) of h-a
counted a ianra), AlttmsadMlttoMls
Bcsinuw Norman act andr Ha toad a Itaal
paw will b charted lavaraaM ft liM
ur each Inanrtloia,
A liberal dwlactlon mad te araotaa4vtt
tnt by qaarter, half-year or yaar. tatarta) 4
notices charted aa-half more lhaa raaraiax tat"
rertlaoinrnl.
Job lni.vriio ererrktnd la Mala aad Paa
ey color! lHjMill, Blank, Cda Paso ,
C of every variety aiH) tyl, printed at the
siiuriesi notice, ine nHPPauiJta I'fr ICS sum
hist been rr-fltted,aal even Ihlnf In the fttai
ing line nan po execsneq in to sassis Ktusw
uannerand at In tow eel Mea,
THE DIABOLICAL apiRJT r
oenovtiACT.
At n meeting of the PqcnicT nelel
at IIillsboro,Ohiri,Mr. Valhndigham
was advertised to speak, bat Just be
fore that apostle comttseooed, the cherr
man, a Mr. Jilson, Mrrounced that ho
bad just received a letter, and be wovM
like to read it, Mr. Vallandlghasa
aid certainly, and Mr. Jilsoti read M
r ii
IU11UWBI
r tt... . h tt x- iu
is ur.i.L., aoox oo, n.ov.
"To the BlAck SepubKeant oOhio'
"lam here suffering torments far
my crimes and usurpations while on
earth. I am reminded of my great
wickedness and send those words t
you to take warning. George Wash
uigron passed me on tne outer title 01
the gulf, but only looked at me with
unutterable scorn. Take warning by
my fate,"
.Signed "AmuruM JjtJfooLJf."
Tho double dyed Impious devil read
the forgoing production with a mallei
ous chuckle, and tho great (?) Yallan
diglim tiKt(c it the Inttit n cm appeal Ut
his audicnw to avoid Hell bv voting
iciVA the "fimocniiio" pqrtjt The
narration of this diabolical piece of
treasonable impudence called forth a
liurricano of hisses frqm the audience,
and seemed to deepen the hat rod which
all respectable people must entortaia
for thoso who can tolerate tuoh hosstly
profanity,
A Sax FRAxasm letter V. "Tb4
magnificent steamship Groat Itepttblw,
the finest in tho world and the largest,
save tho Groat Kastern, was starting
on her first trip for Japnr) and China.
It was n glorious morning,nml half the
city turned out to see tho proud rep
rescntativo of America steam away for
the shores of Asia, Tho steamship
displayed tho flags of tho United
Stated Japan, nnd China, with that of
the Pacific Mail Steamahip Company,
and as sho moved away from the wbarr
her guns startled the whole oltV with
their sharp, deep reports. At this
moment the Chinese, wno crowded the
Vvhnrf by thousands, dressed iu theif
holiday attire, flung after the steamer
into the Bay of San Francisco thonsandi
on thousands oflongslips of bright en
ameled yellow and red papers, inscrih
ed with prayers to Unknown gods tut
the vkzcI, at the great depths of the
sen should spr.re her tnd-all on bard,
and gentle waves and propitioii winds
waft her swiftly to W hVC0 in tit
Central Flowery Lands.' "
O.vn 1iit Josiah Qulrtcy, and J t
Adams visited the lecture reoss at
J udgc Story and took scats on the p)at
form. The vistors were addicted to
early rising and fancied it a virtue.
Judge story in his lecture, was teach
ing that nature indicates when wehav
slept enough, by rousing ns withoat
aid, and that it is best to finish yef
sleep in bed and be wide a wake be)
out of it. Turning towards his Mefts
he saw thera both asleep, and, addrestv
ing the class, said, "Gentlemen yon see
before you a melancholy eKUjjale f
the ill pffbeta of early rising." At)wMt
of laughter aroused Jfes sleepers to Sa
ten to tho remaindor of no lecture,
When persons sleep in chttrch it isgeja
eraljy "theevil effects of early rising,"
The habit of arousing children ett t
sleep, by way of teaching them the vir
tue of early rising, is a vice whichsbowld
not bo tolerated, Children sbttnld
take litrht suppers and eft te be! terlr
and sleep until they awake. Basalt.
fast and school should always waft tin
til thev have sleDt as lonnr as nature dic
tates, bo that eight hours or twelve.
THE U.VITKI) STATESjLVNttUAOF,,---
At Messilla, New Mexico, tbe public
records and legal proceedings were in
Spanish, A Kcntuckian was brought
before the sieado or magistrate tor as
sault ami battery. Tho native Judge,
with shaggy beard : nncombed fcwf and
dirty face, appeared on the kwh jn a
soiled calico shirt and bcokslua san
dals. He knew no English. Sternly
motioning the Kentuckinft te rise, be
onlered the sheriff to ask the prisoner
1.1 a a at
wnetnor ne spotce spamm
"Xary Spanish."
"Then," said the afcadVbe mast
hire an interpreter."
The delinquent shifting his tobacco
quid to the other check, replied.
"Ask him whether km leeurt is U
ting in Mexico or the United States?'
"In the United StAtes!" responded
ithe angry official.
"Then toll nun tht nderstaja
the Urnted States language, and ba
don't I'll see him d d before I hire
an interpreter for 'Am.'
Thi ItaDMix Oct. AaKaalita paper wUeh
ci owed loudly over the) prarioot aipirtt
with tna oniro gtx '-fnm wa
aandaotofiy.Ho "view of the ilail I SL We
quote ;
"The fltleeb loch Rodataa tna Baa faaBy
penetra'ed th eight-toe large at aary
aeaa. There aaad Bto loafer taj etapaea at
totlieanaUtr rf toe powder act dsataawtnt ef
khaeharga. 0a boadrad anat wttjfctef
ABMneaa no. a caaoa ptwaetv eaejataaaael ti
a bag early -two test loag, haw BaaaM a
.se-pouna bot tnroofk tarU Inraa af I
and elgnteaatnciiet or tend task. Tat
"Tta
waa tremendous, and aa waa the l
roar-af tbe toga gaa laad the
t wo aunet or annor-pteta,
abost fix hundred artixkr wsj
Jweat v yard or mora to th rear M a t
and a-aaowai ar 'tmaDtt' stain lav as
npon the groaad, A atttft eManc tfejtaa
wa dbed Into Moat, eat Araatatjtn
rata mjoraa. m hm iaMr eaaa tra
apiaca vataarrWdawar. whkatlai
aa being of tbaiiaaafaa ndtatn tatar. A
aoood ttvttwart aar erttneawaa aVap
van area essnog ts it aWBCtt IDS aaraatl
troagwr uisce, sens; n raoi, jm
part of th ttraotawewkiaBhaabaaa
damaged by tour terlea of terrtlset
perinieBtt the enormous quantity ofW0,(!e
Doondtof metal having: been hut lad acnintt its
j Iron front,"