On Being a Farm Wife (and other hazard: Joyce Bupp One of “those” days, is it? Maybe the light bulb blew when you switched it on after the alarm rang this morning? A ring ing phone woke you from a sound sleep in the middle of the night, only to be a wrong num ber? The back left tire on your car looked low ... or had gone flat overnight? While stumbling across the kitchen floor in your bare feet, you bruised your big toe stepping on one of those plastic bricks left by the kids (or grandkids). Or slipped on a stray, lost grape. The only thing the mailman brought other than a stack of junk mail was a sizeable, unexpected bill. You discovered that the stray cat you befriended has gifted you with a litter of six kittens in your garage. And, when you grabbed your favorite t-shirt, it had a COMPUTER DESK Your Choice Maple or Oak/Black J [rfOtaL Reg. Ret. $899.95 < CashPric e*499.9s; Closeout $ 229 95 i Available in Maple * j 0095 1 without Hutches closeout 1 OSf WHOLESALE ' f 5 pc. 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Here on the farm, one of “those” days might entail stray heifers ripping bags of feed apart or calves stuck backwards in birth canals or a blown tractor motor or having some nasty piece of metal go through the knives of the forage chopper and tear their honed cutting edges to shreds. And, then it happens. You drop what you’re doing in the middle of a job to answer the ringing phone, and no one is there. And it’s irritating as the dickens. An e-mail message forwarded by a friend last week suggests that the nobody-on-the-other-end calls are often part of the tele marketing industry’s research, designed to surface the most like ly time of day that a real person •' End Table Set Reg. Ret. $239.95 j Cash Price $149.95 • OUT $ 69 04 j UNDER WHOLESALE «- f' TWIIN/TWIIN BLINK BED Black or White Reg. Ret. $599 95 1 Cash Price $159.95 I SPECIAL $ 149 95 J f 3 Pack Cocktail Table Set', iASk si,ver * Gold Reg. 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Ret. $1999.95 ■ Cash PricesB49.9sl v CLOSEOUT $ 599 95 /’ 3019 Hempland Road, Lancaster 717-397-6241 Stores in: LANCASTER • YORK • CARLISLE • LEBANON STORE HOURS: Mon.-Fri. 9-9 • Sat. 9-6; Sunday 12 to 5 PM • No Refund* • All Sale* Final For purchase* with a cheek bring FINANCING • Cash A Carry drivers license and phone numbers AVAILABLE Not responsible for typographical errors We reserve the right to substitute gift items is likely to answer a particular number. And, the e-mail has a suggestion on how to confound the system and get your number dumped out of it. What this message suggests is that, when no one is on the other end of a call received, we punch the pound sign button quickly for several, maybe six or eight times. This action supposedly confuses the dialing computer, which in turn loses that phone number. Gee, I don’t know if it works or not. But, I’m going to give it a try. You might want to, also. Espe cially if you’re having one of “those” days and punching out something might be welcome. But please don’t pound the “pound” button so hard you mess up your phone. This column doesn’t want to be responsible for your phone not working. Now, on to all those “pre-ap proved” letters for credit or credit card protection or insurance or whatever that arrive daily in our mailboxes. They generally have self-addressed, pre-stamped re turn envelopes. My friend’s e mail suggests that you thought fully return to the company not only their own junk mail, but maybe others you got that day. I have actually done this at times on “those” days over the years. But you probably want to carefully remove anything with your name or any kind of account number on it first. If we all did this across the country, think how it would stim ulate returns to the U.S. Postal Service. Why, the extra volume could possibly even help to delay the next postage price increase. Consider yourself a consumer oriented patriot. And, y’know all those glossy little advertisements you get with utility bills and credit card statements? My friend’s e-mail further advises to ship those back with our regular payments (just don’t overweight your envelope that it ends up costing you more money). The senders can have the thrill of re-opening and dis posing of what they originally shipped out. What fun! So do your part to keep the outfits that insist on littering our lives, and our office desks, with all their unwanted stuff busy dealing with its return and fall out. Help turn one of “those” days for you back into one of “those” days for the mass mar keters who pay a lot less to send their stuff per piece than do you and I. Just think how many trees you might help to save. And landfill space. HEATMOR OUTDOOR WOOD FURNACES Stainless Steel See us at AG PROGRESS DAYS On West 11 th Street SHIRTS OR SWEATSHIRTS Shirts 100% Cotton Denim Long Sleeve • Embroidery Blue & Black • Lancaster Farming Logo • Button-Down Collar • Left Shirt Pocket • Stone Bleach Blue $2O - Small, Medium, Large $22.50 - X Large $23.50 - 2X Large W& Plus $4.50 Shipping & Handling Costs Q3S Phone 717-721-4416 Or Mail Your Order To: Lancaster Farming RO. box 609LFS 1 East Main St., Ephrata, PA 17522 Or Stop @ Office -1 East Main St., Ephrata, PA Saves Shipping Cost! Lancaster Farming, Saturday, August 9, 2003-B3 Maryland Fair TIMONIUM, Md. Mary land’s own McCormick and Company, Inc. will spice up the flavor of fresh foods harvested from Maryland farms and the Chesapeake Bay and served dur ing the Maryland State Fair, Fri day, Aug. 22 through Monday, Sept. 1. The McCormick Maryland Foods Pavilion will work with Maryland commodity groups to showcase a variety of food that grows in the State including crab cakes, catfish filet sandwiches, com-on-the-cob, smoked ham, pork barbecue, charcoal grilled beef sandwiches, lamb shish-ke babs, fried clams, turkey subs, roasted barbecue chicken, fresh fruit salad, yogurt sundaes, and more. Keep an eye out for McCor mick and commodity group rep resentatives who will showcase products, give away recipes, and assist with cooking demonstra tions in the Pavilion’s center demonstration area daily. 5 Sires - 19 Colors - Wood or Coal Grates Forced Draft - Ash Auger Clean Out COMPARISON WITH OTHER OUTDOOR UNITS • Burns up to 1/2 less wood • Emits up to 1/2 less smoke • Corrosion Warranty up to 10 times longer Wood-Oil & Com-Buming Options Outback Heating Inc. 888-763-8617 800-743-5883 Jamestown, NV Staunton,VA y 3 Sweatshirts • 90% cotton - dark Blue with embroidery With Lancaster Farming Logo $25 - Medium, Large $27.50 - X Large $28.50 - 2X Large McCormick To Spice Up