On Being a Farm Wife (and other hazard: Joyce Bupp What a ripoff. Some days, around here, that’s all this farming profession seems to be. If you don’t believe that, come lend me a hand tackling the mountain of ripped-up farming garb and gear piled up at the sewing machine. The mending piles up, like the junk recently tackled in the attic, because on a scale of jobs to do, it’s somewhere out there at about 9 on a scale of one to ten. That’s because a myriad of rip off instigators lie stealthily in wait, threatening to attack at every step The Farmer takes around here. Result is that prac tically every laundry load of scruffy work clothes turns up more fodder for the ripped-off pile. COMPUTER DESK Your Choice Maple & Oak/Black J el l J » Reg. 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DINING ROOM [ A jliftoli /t double Pedestal Table i Mfroait Reg Ret $1999.951 Q as h Price $849 95 [ CLOSEOUT $ 599 95 /' iivij ticmpiqiiu noflu, utmtaawi t i i-ov/ m O£H I 'Stores in: LANCASTER • YORK • CARLISLE • LEBANON STORE HOURS; Mon.-Fri. 9-9 • Sat. 9-6; Sunday 12 to 5 PM • No Refunds • All Sales Final For purchases with a check bring FINANCING • Cash A Carry drivers license and phone numbers AVAILABLE responsible tor typographical errors We reserve the right to substitute gift items Sure, it would be a lot easier to just pitch the pants. But farmers, or at least the one I mend for, go through a lot of jeans. Plus, rips and holes materalize often long before the sturdy denims are even close to being worn out. With farm commodity prices on the skids for months and farm milk prices at a 25-year low, sheer eco nomics demands that “holey jeans” with reuse potential be transformed back into wearables. Contemplating the size and lo cation of some of the rips and tears, one wonders who the wear er managed to come away with out bodily injuries. At the very least of the jeans gaps and gouges pose great possibility for drafti ness and even potential embar rassment. One large-scale, three-corner rip turned up recently in an al most-new pair of jeans, a 4x6-inch flap halted only by the reinforcement of a back pocket. This rather massive destruction in the seat area must have come from the grabby clutches of a sturdy piece of steel. My imagina tion can hear the ripping sound as the fabric gave way to a jagged edge of some piece of farm equip ment or business end of a quar ter-inch bolt. A smattering of ragged small holes in the back of another pair, all located above and between the back pockets, hint of rough metal CLOSEOUT $ 139 95 TV STAND 27 Oak and Oak Veneer Auction To Benefit Birth Center QUARRYVILLE (Lancaster Co.) Birth Care and Family Health Services wttl conduct its 11th Annual Benefit Auction on Saturday, June 7 at The Hoff man Building, Solanco Fair grounds, located on route 472 in Quarryville. Preview with free coffee and donuts is from 8 to 8:30 a.m., with the auction from 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. Featured at the sale are a washing machine, quilts and wallhangings, oak and pine fur niture, housewares, crafts, toys, tools, lawn furniture, trampoline, riding lawn mowers, manure spreader, swing set, mini-shed, run-in open shed, large summer glider, and playhouse. Pictures of selected items can be seen on the at some place of frequent sitting. Perhaps it was the back of the driver’s seat of one of the silage trucks, or maybe a tractor seat frame losing its cushioning foam. Damage on another pair look ed all too familiar, scattered holes of various sizes all up and down the front of a right pant leg. Welding fallout, no doubt, tiny sparks landing on denim fabric with enough heat to slightly burn the threads. (And, occasionally, the skin beneath.) After a couple of launderings, brushing against cows, handling straw bales, etc., the weakened fabric begins fall ing apart into real holes. Which require a real big patch to encom pass the widespread area of wear-and-tear in one fell swoop. Whipped off the pile quickly and back into a storage drawer were a couple of pairs on which a prior patch had merely come loose, probably stitched too close (0 the edge to resist the overtures of a broken door hinge. A couple of easy onesjike that are a mo rale booster partway through this tedious job. ' Time ran out before I even got to the work shirts suffering from three-comer-tear visits with pro truding nails, zippers trashed on otherwise-sturdy thermal sweat shirts, or workshirt minus but tons seemingly put on them for one-time use. And, I was ready to quit anyway, after finding two pairs of jeans with those dreaded rips in the fabric next to the zip per seams. Those are enough to make you tear your hair out. Which, I suppose, could be considered just one more ripoff. Qjj, SUSQUEHANNA Qsa PRINTING • Wedding Invitations • Brochures • Business Cards • Sale Cards • Catalogs • Newsletters • Newspapers Arl Haas One East Main Street P.O. Box 527, Ephrata, PA17522 717-733-6397 • Fax 717-733-6058 Lancaster Farming, Saturday, May 31,2003-B3 Website at www.davidereed.com. Information can be obtained by calling the Birth Center at (717) 786-4010 or (717) 786-5506. Food is cooked on-site and free children’s activities will occur throughout the day. Clowns will perform balloon art from 9 a.m. to noon. The day also includes children’s barrel train, face paint ing, and horse and wagon rides. Birth Care is a non-profit Mid wifery Birth and Women’s Health Care and Birth Center. Births are offered at the licensed Birth Center, at home, and in hospital. Care at the birth center is pro vided by licensed certified nurse midwives who combine natural childbirth services, advice in herbal supplements, and tradi tional western medical practices into a full range of normal preg nancy services. A physician is available for consultation and hospital transfers are provided when needed. In addition to prenatal care, childbirth classes, labor and de livery services, and postpartum and newborn care, the nurse midwives also provide normal gynecological care. Birth Care is one of the few locations in Lan caster County that participates in the federal Healthy Woman 50+ program where women who are aged SO and older can receive free annual pap smears and breast exams. Proceeds from the benefit auc tion subsidize care for families in need, patients without insurance, and the birth center’s Christian ministry to crisis pregnancies. Two To Compete At Franklin County Pageant MERCERSBURG (Franklin Co.) Two contestants will com pete for the Franklin County Dairy Princess title on June 7, 7 p.m., at the Lighthouse Restau rant, Chambersburg. Contestants are Emily Grove, 19, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Jeff Grove, Shippensburg; and Re becka Brake, 19, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Glenn Brake, Mer cersburg. Dinner reservations must by made by June 2. To reserve, call the Franklin County extension office (717) 263-9226.