On Being a
Farm Wife
(and other hazard
Joyce Bupp
There was no one specific time
that defined her condition, just
an accumulation of increasingly
notable incidents.
Immediate sadness was coun
tered by an overwhelming grati
tude that mother had obviously
not suffered.
A call to The Farmer, then to a
wonderful dispatcher at Emer
gency 911, brought a dozen emer
gency folks from two municipali
ties streaming into the house
within five minutes. They kindly
made the necessary calls and in
sisted on staying until family
began to arrive.
Thanks, to all of you.
Though she loved seeing the
family and old friends they
brought together, Mother despis
ed viewings and funerals. Deaths
in recent years, of our father, our
sister, a nephew, her beloved sis
ter and best friend, had all taken
an increasingly-stressful toll on
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Forgetting little things. Confu
sion about locations. Recounting
the same incidence or problem
several times in a short conversa
tion.
Still, Mother’s physical health
for her age was good. She care
fully monitored what she ate and
faithfully took her medication for
controlling the diabetic condition
she’d been diagnosed with several
years ago. She gardened all sum
mer and we frequently compared
plants and weather conditions.
Her skilled seamstress abilities
continued to be challenged by the
complicated remaking and re
pairing of items of clothing
4$
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brought by friends and acquain
tances. She took pleasure, in fact,
in utilizing the mental agility re
quired to best fix the stream of
garments which flowed through
her sewing area.
But, increasingly, Mom was
scared. Scared of going out on
the road by herself because she
had lost her way to a destination
some time ago. Scared of becom
ing increasingly forgetful and
easily confused. Scared of living
alone because of her increasing
forgetfulness, but absolutely terri
fied of the thought of having to
move to anywhere else.
When there was no answer to
her phone on a recent afternoon,
I was not immediately alarmed.
She often drove a mile out the
road for fresh foods, milk, bread,
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and gas. Follow-up calls also
went unanswered. Speculation
that her weekly dinner night out
with a favorite niece and nephew
had changed days proved wrong
when I finally reached them at
their home where they had been
all evening.
Clinging to the hope that it
was just a faulty phone problem,
I drove the couple of miles to her
home. And Mother had peaceful
ly died, sitting in her own living
room, relaxing in front of the TV.
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Mother. She had reassured us
that she had made her own “ar
rangements.”
But we found none. So, in lieu
of her guidance of choice, we
could only plan “arrangements”
very similar to what she had cho
sen for Daddy.
I did not intend to write a col
umn this week, trusting that you,
reader-friends, would understand
the absence. Instead, a strong
inner urge booted me out of bed
early one following morning to
offer a plea.
To help your loved ones, make
your “arrangements.”
Our physical bodies yours
and mine will cease to function
at some point. We can only pray
that they allow us to pass on as
peacefully, quick and painless as
Mother did. And despite how
most of us dread to think about
that time, we need to ponder
and share how we would like
our lives to be celebrated.
Here are the “arrangements” I
(Continued from Page B 2)
County or all of Pennsylvania
where there are a lot of rural
areas but the cities are growing.
You have to get out to the farm
ers to let them know that you’re
there for them, but at the same
time you have to remind the
farmer to get out and promote
his own product. At the same
time, you have that city person
who needs to know that these
farmers are there for them...that
they’re working hard to produce
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Lancaster Farming, Saturday, January 26, 2002-B3
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I Character
jj buifdmg
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choose. If possible, utilize any
part of my physical body that
might help someone else, then
cremate the remains. Celebrate
my soul with a brief, cheerful me
morial service, preferably on a
rolling farm hillside or in a park
like wooded setting. Sprinkle my
ashes among the farm fields, the
flowerbeds and toss a few near
the mountain hunting camp we
love. (Which is probably illegal in
some way, but what are they
going to do, arrest me?)
Instead of sending flowers,
support a church, a worthy youth
organization, or community
emergency support group. Give
blood. Volunteer a day at a nurs
ing home. Rock an abandoned or
abused baby. Do something kind
for someone in need, perhaps
anonyrhously.
Celebrate the life of someone
you love by passing that love on
to someone hurting or in need.
I think Mom would have ap
proved.
a clean, quality product and they
need to know that milk is their
best source for quality nutrients."
Although Jennings realizes
that in her short reign she will
not be able to bring her message
to everyone, she hopes that she
has been able to influence some
people.
“I want to go out knowing that
I tried my hardest to do as many
things as I possibly could.” she
said.
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