On Being a
Farm Wife
(and other hazard:
Joyce Bupp
“Collection Notice.”
Now what, I wondered, scan
ning the top of a piece of mail
just opened from the day’s deliv
ery.
“Action requested,” continued
the red-highlighted piece of
paper, in slightly smaller letters
than the collection notice head
line. And in print so tiny to be al
most unreadable: “Return this
notice with your payment.”
Huh? What is this?
The notice proceeded to polite
ly inform me that we all make
mistakes” and “I’m sure most of
us want them cleared up as
quickly as possible. That’s why
vour name was referred to us by
the publisher of a magazine.”
By gosh, this piece of mail was
correct. We do all make mis
takes.
- t
&
h> - - S/zz/er Blowout - Don't
W/ SOFA and LOVESEAT \ / WING BACK CHAIR* \
I fcvi Choice of Regular.
O I Dealer .HH- KSJL or Button Back 1
MKPVIMiBfI Refusal > Reg. Ret. $529,951
JL 1 Reg. | l^^t r T '' ? Our Price STSt^i.
I3fp I Our Prlce'lSSO.lUi Now at a Never Before Heard of Price
g/ Closeout $679.95 I DEALER REFUSAL 1
$ 499_ 8 Store Jnbi/ Mpur Choice
$ 79 03
Each 7
' SLEIGH BED \
I w/Rails & Nightstand .
Red Cherrywood Finish
CLOSEOUT 88 “ /
SECTIONAL SLEEPER N
Reclmers, Sofa [
, Factory Liquidation w/Hide-a-Bed I
Reg. Ret. $2,589.95 Close Out |
Our Cash Price $ 949 88 /
( 4 DRAWER CHEST" N
Pine Finish , |
Reg. Ret. $149.95 I
FACTORY .
SPECIAL f ft
S4QO4 I" T—'PJ 1
/ SOFA AND LOVESEAT \
IsPSiS 1
Reg. Ret. $1199.95 1
Our Prlce-$54&95 I
Factory Special $ 499 95 /
" SECTIONAL
jJ Factory Special
*499 95
4 FC.~BEDROOM~SET
Cherry Finish, Dresser, Mirror,
Headboard and Armoire
@H- Ret. $1649.95
Lcloseout $ 389 95
FIVE PIECE DINETTE 38x60 '
Table A Four Chalra - Natural, r.’jSSf)
Whlte/Natural, Green/Natural
Reg. Ret. $1,029.95
Cash Price $469.95 1 VTu *
CLOSEOUT *249 B°^ 8 °^ f \| ' *1 '
And -this “collection notice”
was a mistake on someone’s part
that was making me increasingly
irritated the further I read it.
Yes, I had months ago received
a single, sample copy of the mag
azine for which I was now being
served a “collection notice.” I
had no recall of ever having sent
for the sample issue and no idea
of why it came in the first place.
Actually, it had proved to be a
worthwhile and interesting publi
cation, one that I had actually
considered subscribing to, despite
the fact that it seemed a little
pricey. After taking inventory of
the accumulation of publications
then as yet unread and piling up
on desks and tables, that idea
was bagged. We have trouble
keeping up with what already
comes.
/ 7 PC. DINING ROOM" \
I DW Pedestal Table, Wagon Wheel Chaus .
2Amnand4Side 1
„^^^^ s s99 9s 1
/ 4 DRAWER CHEST ” \
White |
Reg. Ret. ■
. ’ $229.95 1
\ . • Our Price I
, j _ • Wt.lt j
t '“closeout $ 59 95 ;
' GLIDER ROCKER N
Available in Blue, I
I Beige Green , n .
Reg. Ret. $159,95
Cash Price ST»*fc .iO-ftf / I
Special |
I $ 79 04 /
{ 5 DRAWER CHEST \
' Oak Whitewash or Cherry J''\ |
| Bankrupt Cham Store *mt
We Purchased
Reg. Ret $469.95 QWRtt I
I Our |
CLOSE-ODT *l39 95
*rT~>, RECLINER \
"Special" |
ESA&3 Reg. Ret.
$329.95 I
I yS% » Our Reg. i
\l!l 11 PflceVf29A6.
Close Out *B9°* J
YOUTtI'S/MATE S BED SETN
Bed Box w/Drawer .
Bookcase Headboard & 1
2 Night Stands ■
„ Reg. Ret. $329.95
fSHL, Our Price $960 051
HtWrOM CLOSEOUT.
Miss This One "
SECTIONAL "SPECIAL"
Reg. Ret.
$2,100.00
w/Coupon *649“
entertainment"
I CENTER I
Sateen Cherry Finish
I 36" TV Capacity wSPS^f 1 ] .
Reg. Ret. $669.95 »T^r r ‘‘ "'1 1
Our Price $380.96 " |
t Close Out $ 189 95 '
SOFA AND LOVESEAT \
Reg. Ret. j
[tj 0 $2100.00
»Our Price I
-S»9A*S. -
■Dh Closeout
VP* 1 i
k _w/_Cqupon *649“'
RED CHERRY ARMOIRE'
35x17x59 I
i Reg. Ret.
I ’,l ] | $569.95 I
LI Cash Price ..
Sif9M. '
31 CLOSEOUT I
514995/9 95 /
/ TWIN/DOUBLE ~
FUTON BUNK
in Black Red,
White w/8 I Jim
/ ~~T Futon Mattress i WfP
A:- I Reg. Ret. 'W
r ~ ■ n $898.95 I
_ SPECIAL $ 279 95 j'Q
Stores in; LANCASTER • YORK • CARLISLE
STORE HOURS: Mon.-Fri. 9-9 • Sat. 9-6;
Sunday 12 to 5 PM
mm • No Refunds
* All Sales Final For purchaatt with a check, bring FINANCING
W e Cash A Cany driven license and phone numbers AVAILABLE
“Possibly you have forgotten to
send your check,” continued the
piece of mail.
Possibly I didn’t. And don’t
plan to. Because 1 never ordered
the publication in the first place.
I didn’t order it in the second
place. And I wouldn’t order it
now, probably, if they paid me to.
And now my account was
being turned over for collection.
Since I don’t have an account,
and am not receiving this publi
cation, how can that be? And, if
this scam works, how can 1 get in
on it?
No, no, just kidding.
What really bugged me about
this piece of mail was the in
your-face attitude. I did not order
the publication. 1 am not getting
the publication. I do not have an
account. Yet, a “collection no
tice.”
“That almost sounds crimi
nal,” observed our daughter,
scanning the piece of mail I
handed her later that day.
How many people, receiving
this aggressive, borderline-threat
ening piece of mail, would pay
up?
You betcha’. Lots.
The three-sectioned “collection
notice” measures nearly 14 inch
es long and almost six inches
wide, accented with bright red
highlighting. It looks nothing like
Our Price WOiWi.
Closeout WlfiK
a normal business billing
which presumably a genuine col
lection sort of notice could be ex
pected to resemble. The style and
design are almost identical to
some of the four credit card ap
plications which also came in the
mail the same day.
You can imagine my relief in
knowing that if I just mailed a
check for $19.95 to this national
credit auditing outfit, “further
collection activity on our part can
be avoided.”
Well, goody. I will sleep better
nights, just knowing that.
Except, that there won’t be a
check for $19.95 or its way to
save them the trouble of generat
ing additional “collection activi
ty.”
A “P.S.” noted that upon re
ceipt of my payment of my sub
scription would be reinstated.
And a further notice indicated
that unless I disputed the “validi
ty of the debt,” it was assumed to
be valid.
Makes one wonder if these
folks have ever gotten acquainted
with the very valid Better Busi
ness Bureau or Consumer Protec
tion agencies.
Perhaps, I can help with an in
troduction.
American Heart frA
Association.^^
F-ightiog HeaM D sease and btfoxe
Choose Healthful Foods
€
GLUTTON FOR
PUNISHMENT
Introducing the rugged AGCO ST3S from the new lineup of compact
tractors designed and built for the professional operator. From AGCO
Corporation, with 100 years of tractor building experience.
The ST3S is powered by a 33-horsepower diesel with a standard
16F x 16R shuttle transmission with creeper in all 4 gears. It has
a flat deck, a wide-open operator's platform, with controls right
where they ought to be, and enough legroom and elbowroom for
the guy they call "Tiny". Power steering, 4WD, PTO, and much
more are all standard.
And, check out the ST4O,
with an additional
s
few
HERNLEY’S FARM
EQUIP., INC.
Elizabethtown, Pa.
717-367-8867
s
B.H.M. FARM
EQUIP. INC.
Annville, Pa.
717-867-2211
U
B. EQUIP., INC.
Waynesboro, Pa.
717-762-3193
Lancaster Farming, Saturday, July 28,2001-B3
How Is
Reduced-Fat
Peanut Butter
Made?
Regular peanut butters contain
a minimum of 90 percent pea
nuts, whereas the reduced-fat va
rieties contain approximately 60
percent peanuts.
The peanuts that are taken out
in reduce-fat products are re
placed by com syrup solids,
which give “body” to the product.
Unlike the peanuts that they are
replacing, the corn syrup solids
have no fat, thereby reducing the
overall fat content of the peanut
butter.
(The numbers of calories in re
duced-fat peanut butters are not
necessarily lower than the num
bers of calories in regular versions
of peanut butter, however.)
Soy protein, vitamins, and
minerals are also added to re
duced-fat peanut butters in order
to make them nutritionally equiv
alent to regular peanut butter.
FARMERS
EQUIPMENT &
SUPPLY
Airville, Pa.
717-862-3967
WERTZ
FARM & POWER
EQUIPMENT, INC
PA Rt. 516,
Glen Rock, Pa.
717-235-0111
C.J. WONSIDLER
BROS.
Quakertown, Pa.
215-536-7523
New Tripoli, Pa.
215-767-7611
Oley, Pa.
215-987-6257
GRUMELLI
FARM SERVICE
Quarryville, Pa.
717-786-7318