Family Living
Focus
by
Nancy Stevens
Montgomery Co.
Extension
Who Gets Grandma’s Locket?
Sounds like a dumb question,
doesn’t it? In the process of griev
ing for a loved one, determining
who gets a small piece of jewelry
certainly seems insignificant.
Wrong! Just ask the many
families who have had serious
disagreements over the disburse
ment of such property. Or ask the
numerous people out there who
haven’t spoken to a brother or
sister, or aunt or uncle because of
an argument over such an item.
Surprisingly it is often not the
valuable items that create conflict
when settling estates. The trans
fer of non-titled property is an
issue that impacts individuals re
gardless of their financial worth,
heritage or cultural background.
Valuables such as houses, land,
and vehicles are titled property
and can be sold and the proceeds
divided equally among the heirs.
Instead, it becomes less clear how
to be equal when you are dividing
such things as jewelry, photos,
dishes, collections, guns, tools,
etc. among family members.
Generally folks don’t get
around to worrying about these
things until one of two things oc
curs. Either the family is emp
tying a house, usually to move an
aging parent into a smaller home
or perhaps a nursing facility, or
the other common time for this
issue to arise is after the death of
a loved one. Neither time is ex
actly conducive to unemotional,
rational thinking.
Suppose instead you opted to
start thinking about the distribu
tion of this non-titled property
while you or the loved one are
still alive and kicking. Novel
thought, huh?! Not only can you
decide who is to get the stuff but
you can have the pleasure of tell-
ing them. This way there are no
misunderstandings about the
owner’s wishes. You also have a
great opportunity to pass down
that family history - in this case,
the story of where the locket
came from and the circumstances
surrounding it. And if you really
want to have a good time you
might even think about giving
away some of those valuables
while you are still alive. This way
you can take pleasure in seeing
your heirs make use of the stuff.
OK, so maybe you are in a sit
uation where this distribution
thing was not figured out before
the time of death. The entire
family is now facing the over
whelming task of emptying a
house and peacefully distributing
the items appropriately among
the family and/or friends. What
are some things to think about to
make this easier? One of the
hardest things for families to sort
out is “what is fair?” Should all
children receive equal “items?”
Perhaps one child has borne
the brunt of the caregiving re
sponsibilities over the years -
should they be rewarded for their
efforts? Should family members
with financial need receive more?
Should heirs receive equal num
bers of items? How do you de
termine who gets the first choice
of items? And how do you figure
'out what it equal when you are
dealing with a variety of objects,
many of which have more senti
mental value than monetary. For
example, is a set of china
)C H equal to an old gun? These
j are only a few of the factors
j you may encounter.
All Gates & Fencing manufac
tured of 1.9” outside diameter
high yield steel tubing with
13 gauge wall.
13 gauge steel is 15% heavier
than 14 gauge, 45% heavier than
16 gauge & 85% heavier than 18
gauge.
\\\
Call or write for additional information
& the name of your nearest dealer
If these distribution decisions
are made ahead of time, the
owner can ask heirs which items
they would like to receive. The
best way to insure that his or her
decisions will be honored is for
that person to make a list of who
is to get what and mention it in
their will. Be specific in the list
and make sure you date the doc
ument.
Some people make verbal
promises like “When I die, I
want you to have my wedding
ring.”
Unfortunately it is common for
more than one family member to
be promised the same item. Boy,
does that stir up some conflicts!
Some people place masking
tape or other labels on items to
identify who should receive them.
The problem is that the labels
may fall off, be removed or be
come illegible. Also this method
is not legally binding unless a
valid list is also prepared.
What can family members do
if this type of pre-planning was
not done? They may wish to have
a private auction and allow fami
ly members to bid on the items
they want. They can use real
money or give each member
funny money so they have equal
purchasing power. This can also
be done as a silent auction if fam
ily members are uncomfortable
bidding against their siblings.
Most families prefer to keep
sentimental items within the fam
ily. There are many ways to de
termine who will receive what.
The distribution may be done one
item at a time or by creating
“lots” or groups of approximately
equal monetary value.
Install The Gates & Fencing
That Are Manufactured To Last!
Finished with Top Grade TGIC Polyester Coating
TGIC Powder Coating Finish
• Is superior to epoxy
• Resists acid, chemicals
• Protects against rust,
corrosion
• Resists chipping
• Stays cleaner
Added Value With Our 2 Coat Process!
Five step metal preparation, including iron phosphate conversion coating to enhance
adhesion & prevent undercoat corrosion
Zinc rich epoxy powder undercoat
TGIC polyester powder top coat, baked at 400° to fuse coats, forming a cross link
molecular bond
aul B. Zimmerman, Inc.
295 Woodcorner Rd. • Lititz, PA 17543 • 717/738-7365
1 mile West of Ephrata
Lancaster Farming, Saturday, June 30,2001 -811
Who gets first choice can be
determined by drawing numbers,
straws or rolling dice. You may
prefer to use birth order, gender
preference, or generation prefer
ence to determine order of selec
tion.
If the family chooses, the
household items can be sold at
public auction. This means some
items of sentimental value may
go to people outside of the fami
ly.
The proceeds of the auction
will go toward the estate and
may be subject to state taxes.
Other methods of distribution in
clude a garage or yard sale or
selling the items to a liquidator.
Either way the proceeds go to
ward the estate and may be
taxed.
As you can see, there are many
options in distributing family
heirlooms. Whenever this can be
discussed before the time of
death it is certainly easier. If that
is impossible, it is important for
family members to hold some dis
cussion on what they consider to
be fair. Why not give it some
thought today so you can avoid
some of these pitfalls?
Standard Heights
• 4 bar: 38” high
• 5 bar: 48” high
• 6 bar; 54” high
Hinge for 3/4" pin | Round corners for
welded to gate I safety & strength
Slant Bar Feed Thru
Fence Section
Custom Built
to Any Length
■ Stub welded to gate
I for automatic latch
Vertical bracing
Hours:
Mon.-Fri.: 7-5; Sat.: 7-11