On Being a
Farm Wife
(and other
hazards)
Joyce Bupp
If you are unnerved by the
subject of death and dying,
please skip this column.
Read the funnies instead.
If, on the other hand, you can
believe that-even in death-one
can find humor, then hang in
here with me on this one. My
qualification for addressing this
subject is that an interest sur
vey in which I took part some
time ago came back notifying me
that, among a few other career
possibilities, I was suited to be a
funeral director. Which is almost
as steady work as milking cows.
And surely pays better.
That all said, I was highly
intrigued by a news release
issued recently over a marketing
survey done by a casket manu
facturer. That survey found that
consumers’major concerns about
a burial casket was how it
looked and what kind of “state
ment” it made about the occu
pant’s life.
Thus it is not surprising that
a Texas company is reportedly
marketing Art Caskets, person
alized to depict significant and
important parts of the soon-to-
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be-interred’s life and interest. A
next logical (I guess) step was to
license the company to use the
colors and logos of favorite uni
versity sports teams on the cas
kets of diehard (no pun intend
ed) fans. Sort of taking Penn
State tailgating to the ultimate
end.
Since many farmers are eq
ually adamant about certain
brands of machinery as faithful
college fans are to their teams,
agriculture could offer its own
* whole marketing field for this
product.
What immediately comes to
mind are the myriad of items,
other than parts, made in the
popular cheery yellow and green
of John Deere. Why not a yellow
and green casket for those
absolutely devoted brand name
equipment users, perhaps with
painted on wheels, maybe a cab
even? Steering wheel, optional.
Or utilizing the more boxy shape
of a forage wagon or, for the ulti
mate have-the-last-laugh joke
ster, a manure spreader. Fabric
stores already carry a line of J.D.
logo yardages, which I’ve seen
vs. a Wheeled Skid Steer Load
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creatively styled into everything
from quilts to boxer shorts, so
finding an appropriate lining
should be a cinch.
With a good repertoire of pop
ular equipment brand-name
paints-and the proper licensing
agreements-a creative casket
artist could reproduce any num
ber of machinery lines, current
or historic. A Minnesota friend,
for instance, has a whole equip
ment shed full of classic Case
tractors and would no doubt vote
for a final paint job in the tradi
tional orange of his beloved
antiques.
And one might have chiseled
on the memorial stone the old
farm line: “Outstanding in his/
her field.” Which is probably
more appropriate than the logi
cal-hut probably politically
incorrect-option: “Plowed un
der.”
For our orchard friends, re
productions of storage crate/s
might be reminiscent of the sim
ple, utilitarian pine boxes of yes
teryear. Which have always
made more sense to me, anyway,
than overpriced, glitzy caskets.
And a granite marker reading
“Final harvest.”
The artistic possibilities for
memorial tributes to agricultur
alists are almost unlimited:
from grain-bin complexes to
draft horse pulling sleds, com
bine cabs to fresh produce dis
plays (I’ve seen some really nice
ones on the sides of reefer-trucks
lately), cotton pickers to cran
berry bogs, aquaculture to arti
choke stands.
While economics and aging
have sliced the ranks of the
nations’ dairy farmers to only
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Lancaster Farming, Saturday, February 5, 2000-63
about 90,000 of us remaining,
we still have traditions to up
hold. For us devoted breeders of
the Holstein cow, whose black
and-white markings have been
depicted in every other product
imaginable, a spotted casket
would seem the obvious choice
Feb. 9 Is Food
Check-Out Day
GLENMONT, NY-New York
Farm Bureau reminds con
sumers that Wednesday, Feb
ruary 9, is Food Check-Out Day
A mere 40 days into the calen
dar year denotes when the aver
age American will have earned
enough income to pay for their
entire year’s food supply.
According to the United
States Department of Agricul
ture, on average, American con
sumers spend only 10.9 percent
of their disposable income for
food. When applied to the calen
dar, that coipes out to 40 days.
That length of time
is«|ns even aldaller when com
pared to last year when the
average American had to work
until May 11, an additional
three months, to pay for their
taxes.
“Food Check-Out Day is a ter
rific day that commemorates our
farmers as some of the most effi
cient producers of food in the
said Judi Whittaker,
New York Farm Bureau
Promotion and Education Chair.
“It also demonstrates to the pub-
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when departure time arrives.
For a memorial slab, why not
the obvious: “Mooooooved up 7”
Perhaps I should reserve that
one personally.
And trust that I get sent the
appropriate direction.
he just how much they benefit
from the proficiency of our farm
ers, by obtaining an endless sup
ply of safe and affordable food in
the marketplace.”
To help celebrate the occa
sion, New York Farm Bureau
will be donating food to Ronald
McDonald Houses across the
state. Numerous counties will
also participate by promoting
the message of affordable food
throughout their communities
in grocery stores, schools,
libraries, small “businesses and
their local media.
For additional information on
Food Check-Out Day, contact
your local country Farm Bureau
President or New York Farm
Bureau at 1-800-342-4143.
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