84-Lancaster Farming, Saturday, October 30, 1999
On Being a
Farm Wife
(and other
hazards)
Joyce Bupp
It’s a trick.
Maybe it’s a treat.
Halloween is now the second
biggest holiday of the year.
Retail-market wise anyway. Go
figure.
The plastic pumpkin on the
doorstep, the cardboard skeleton
gently spinning in the window,
the apples and popcorn in the
trick-or-treat bag has been
replaced by all the creativity of
modern mass marketing. Tall,
lighted plastic statues of life-size
witches, ghoulish ghosts, green
and black assorted monsters
and miscellaneous goblins
brighten urban and rural lawns.
Strings of pumpkin, or ghost
ly, or witch-shaped lights cast
ghastly glows over porches, fur
ther accessorized with doormats
which scream when stepped on.
Spooky music plays from micro
phones protectively stashed in
bushes near the front porch.
Scarecrows, some cheerfully
grinning, others of a nature one
wouldn’t want to cross paths
with in a dark, lonely place,
greet us from their perches
guarding over yards. And when
you least expect it, you’ll walk
smack into an ugly, belegged
plastic tarantula dangling on a
piece of near-invisible finishing
line from an overhead roof or
awning.
While once it was primarily
little kids who donned make
believe costumes, adults getting
into the fun have generated
whole sideline businesses of out
fits. You can don a Dracula tuxe
do or masks fashioned after
assorted national politicians;
which is the scarriest is a matter
of personal opinions.
One of my favorite adult-par
ticipation Halloween stories
came from a tall friend of ours,
who cajoled his wife into sewing
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him a long, flowing black cape.
Topped off with a Darth Vader
mask (this was during Star
Wars’ prime years), he accompa
nied his grandson on neighbor
hood rounds, easily intimidating
any would-be bullies out to
snitch smaller kids’ goodie bags.
Clowns, assorted animals,
princesses and cartoon charac
ters are perennial favorites with
little kids, with heavy emphasis
this year on Pokemon critters.
And don’t forget the pink or yel
low hair spray and the washable
monster makeup.
Setting if all off is that crown
ing finish to all Halloween dis
plays which just cracks me up
every time I see it: polyester spi
der webs strong across house
entrances and porch columns. (If
we could only figure out how to
ensnare telemarketers with the
stuff.)
Hey, none of that artificial
spiderwebbing in this all-natur
al house. We have the real
things.
Not that that’s necessarily
anything to brag about, mind
you.
Like oodles of other seasonal
ly-decorated homes, our spider
webbing stretches across the
porch corners, farther authenti
cated with the dark, sinister
look added by road dust which
has settled over the last couple
of weeks. Not particularly to the
liking of the originating spiders.
I also spotted a really impres
sive one last week strung from
the bathroom mirror cabinet up
to a nearby curtain rod. And a
veritable spider-web urban
sprawl is gobbling up space over
the basement ceiling’s exposed
beams.
I had intended to dangle from
a piece of fishing line the large,
ugly plastic spider that has been
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a standby toy for kids here for
the last 20 years A grandson
pronounced that it would
instead occupy a spot on the
stump in the front yard which
it did until falling leaves buried
it somewhere We may find it in
time for St. Patrick’s Day.
We also have the obligatory
seasonal pumpkins. Not plastic.
Not plug-in. Fully 100 percent
natural. Our shapely, jack-o
lantern types went home with
the grandkids. These remaining
ones are fat, decidedly lopsided,
and a dark red-orange color.
Actually squash, they’re useless
for carving faces, but superb for
“pumpkin” pies.
So while the scarecrow I
planned to design never got out
of the rag bag, nor did the corn
stalks walk in from the field and
tie themselves in shocks to the
front fenceposts, we do have a
few all natural, Halloween deco
rations. But, in spite of these
meager efforts, we find ourselves
once again running behind in
the holiday decorating game.
One day last week I trotted
into the garden and seasonal
items of a local retail center, pre
pared to wade through
Halloween stuff in search of a
pair of cotton garden gloves. In
true seasonal response, the hair
stood up on the back of my neck
and I let out a gasp of fear at
what I encountered.
Christmas carols boomed out
above the shelves of red and
green merchandise and tiny
fake pine trees.
Now that’s scary.
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To Share
ELIZABETHTOWN
(Lancaster Co.)— The 1999
Hunters Sharing the Harvest
(HSH) program is expected to
channel thousands of pounds of
donated venison to local food
banks and soup kitchens. As it
has for the past eight years, the
venison sharing project encour
ages successful hunters to turn
over part of their deer meat to
help feed their hungry neigh
bors.
Last year, the generosity of
Keystone hunters make it possi
ble for more than 200,000
Pennsylvanians to enjoy meat
meals made from donated veni
son. In 1999, hunters across the
state are expected to donated
upward of 85,000 pounds of
venison. HSH Coordinator Ken
Brandt thinks the 1999 goals
can easily be met. He says, “With
7 million pounds of venison har
vested in the Commonwealth
each year, this humanitarian
goal is well within our reach.”
Pennsylvania’s food banks
are also looking forward to a
bountiful year. “Those in need of
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Hunters Urged
Venison
food assistance are greatly
helped by donations of this
leam, protein-rich food source,”
said Joyce Rothermel, executive
director of the Great Pittsburgh
Community Food Bank. “In this
a time of economic prosperity for
many. But, to help those left
behind in deepening poverty, we
turn to hunters and meat
processors to make their dona
tions of venison during the
upcoming deer hunting season.
Area coordinators are needed
to encourage hunters in their
communities to participate in
HSH, to contact local meat
processors, talk to food banks
and to get hunting clubs to join
the venison donation bandwag
on. The more local participation,
the more successful the project
will be.
Interested volunteers should
contact Program Coordinator
Ken Brandt, 3317 Turnpike
Road. Elizabethtown, PA 17022.
Telephone (717) 367-5223. Fax
(7l7) 367-4316. Ken can also be
reached by e-mail: keystnken®
aol.com
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