Taking
Time
by
Rebecca
Escott
Catch Them Doing It Right!
Back-tp-school time can be a
tough time for children new
teachers, new routines, new ex
pectations, new friends (or estab
lishing turf with old friends). This
is an important time for parents to
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September 18- Tomato Recipes
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put more emphasis on the parent
ing technique of praise and
“catching them doing it right”
We all know that the squeaky
wheel gets the grease. In a family,
it’s often the annoying child who
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One grandparent shared with
me how she used a reward system
to honor her grandchildren’s good
behavior. Before their family va
cation. this grandma assigned
each of her grandchildren a certain
color poker chip. While on the
trip, she carried an empty gallon
jar with her. Each time she saw
one of her grandchildren doing
something admirable, she would
place a colored poker chip in the
jar recognizing the act She didn’t
make a big deal of it, but she did
make sure that the kids could al
ways see the jar.
When a child had accumulated
a predetermined number of chips
in the jar, they got a little prize
(the kind of things you pick up at
the dollar store or individual snack
packs). She said it worked fabu-
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' .139^^
vior that gets noticed. It takes en
ergy and deliberate effort for par
ents to act differently. But effec
tive praise can be an incredibly
powerful tool to help a youngster
develop new, positive behaviors.
A reward system is one way to
recognize positive behavior.
These systems have their fans and
their critics. I would not become
overly committed to external re
ward systems because children
may become dependent on the
incentive to do the right thing.
But, there are times and places
when rewards work.
lously. hi fact by the end of the
hip, the kids were practically fall
ing over themselves to be polite or
helpful. She said it was one of the
first trips that wasn’t filled with
bickering.
My child’s day care has another
way of “catching them doing it
right” The providers regularly
praise the children for following
directions, but if a child does
something great under his own
initiative, they will give them the
special treat of getting a stamp on
their hand. That’s a big deal to a
two-year-old. One day my daught
er got a dinosaur stamp on her
hand when she picked up other
kids’ toys without being asked.
She was so proud when her teach
er told me the reason she received
a stamp.
Reward systems are not the
only way to “catch them doing it
right”
A spoken compliment can be
just as meaningful as a treat
When you see your son do
something well, tell him. Be spe
cific. Don’t just say. “1 was really
proud of you tonight.” Say, “I not-
got mi?
Lancaster Farming, Saturday, September 11, 1999-B7
iced how you introduced the new
guy in your class to all your
friends. That’s really being car
ing.” Describe exactly what you
noticed.
These specific descriptions help
a child learn what is valued. “You
really worked hard on your home
work this evening. You struggled
with that one math problem for 20
minutes until you came up with
the correct answer.”
*T noticed that you ignored your
little sister when she was bugging
you and calling you baby names.
That takes self-control!”
Catching your child doing it
right can become a part of a bal
anced parenting strategy that in
cludes both praise for positive
choices and consequences for in
appropriate actions.
And while you’re at it, don’t
stop with your kids, catch others
“doing it right” too your
spouse, your mother-in-law, your
neighbor, your pastor, your secre
tary. A word of specific praise
goes a long way in an environment
that is too often critical and blam
ing.