On Being a
Farm Wife
(and other
hazards)
Joyce Bupp
Hey, you, back there.
A little more gently, if you
don’t mind.
Sheesh! Just because she’s
irritated, she doesn’t have to
take it out on me. I didn’t have
anything to do with it.
Oh, hi there. Sorry about the
mootering under my breath. I
was just mooing to myself. Yeah,
mooing, I’m a cow, in case you
didn’t notice.
Just kidding. How could any
one not notice these black and
white spots? They’re on every-
s*.
A f <r f
>■ >-• \
r t
I I
I |
t' f,
\
Tj
V
4
■ V PLEASE SEND MY FATHER LANCASTER FARMING Jtl
I PA, NJ, oh, md, de, /Check one)
iCJv ny.va*wv /unecu one; Vii
I7J a S3loo ' l YEAR □ NEW SUBSCRIPTION * I
r □ RENEWAL
|v □ $59.00 - 2 YEARS
■IJ OTHER STATES
, *□ $41.00-1 YEAR
I ° 579 00 ' 2 years enclosed is a
5S □ CHECK aCASH □ MONEY ORDER
f\ (To help correctly code your eddrei, pleue furnish COMPLETE address At an elample, Include number ol the ,
dwelling, street name, city and atate Whan appropriate, include other specific information such at suite. ip(r I
apartment floor, bos number, etc It you have an RD, please Include Bos Number) |
NAME \[
ADDRESS 4&I
CITY STATE TJJ
ZIP+4 COUNTY
Send Gift Cart From
Credit Card # jjSM
Allow 2 weeks for delivery of your first issue. We can also
add 1 year to existing subscriptions sent in for renewal.
thing these days. Even cows.
Anyway, as I was mooing, she
was getting a little carried away
there, getting me ready to milk.
She gets carried away and does
n’t just dip and soak and wipe
me dry. She SCRUBS. And
TUGS. HEY, TAKE IT EASY.
I can’t help it if I like to
lounge around in that mud pud
dle way down in the far, shady
corner. We all like to hang out
there. It’s shady. And cool.
Probably that’s why it’s become
a puddle. But, I’m not sure it’s
Subscription Price:
$31.00 per year; $59.00 - 2 years
$41.00 per year outside of:
PA, NJ, OH, MD, DE, NY, VA&WV
• P.S. - Don’t Forget Your Father-In-Law!
Send us your coupon now with your payment to:
Lancaster Farming
P.O. Box 609
Ephrata, PA 17522
all mud.
It’s never hard to tell what
moooooood she’s in during milk
ing. If the weather is pleasant
and the crops growing, and none
of us sick or escaped or having
calving problems, she’ll probably
hum along with the country
music station.
And was me real gently.
Unless I’ve been hanging out in
that puddle, which I must
admit, does take some extra
work. Okay. So I give in to peer
pressure to hang out where I’m
not supposed to be. And I pay at
teat-washing time.
Or, if those little boys who
visit a lot now happen to com- 1 in
the barn while we’re milking,
she actually ignores us for a lit
tle while and pays all her atten
tion on them. That actually
makes me a little jealous. But it
sure keeps her in a good mood.
Boy, but lately. That’s another
story.
I’ve listened to the grum
bling. She • probably thinks I
can’t understand what she’s
p
□ VISA OMCODISC.
•tific&ter Ftnrthg, ■ Saturday, -June 5, 1999-BS
mooootenng about under her
breath, but I have REALLY good
ears. When your ears are big,
like my nice, soft, hairy cow
ones, they catch a lot more of
what’s going on than those little
naked ears you people have.
Plus, I can turn and angle my
ears for better reception. Let’s
see you do that.
Anyway, as I was moooosing,
she’s been real irritable
Grumbling to The Farmer while
they take care of us about some
proposal from some government
dude to lower the price paid for
my milk. Permanently. Like
almost a dollar for every hun
dred pounds, I heard her growl
ing,
Seems these government
types are redoing the whole sys
tem for pricing my milk. And
especially lowering the price
right here in this part of the
country, because there are so
many of us cows around here.
But they didn’t consider how
many of you people are also
around this part of the country
who expect to have my fresh
milk handy in the stores just
any time you think you need it.
Hey, you missed a spot back
there on that right rear teat.
PAY ATTENTION.
ALUMINUM GRAIN BODIES
& ALUMINUM REPAIRS by
These ultra-light bodies are designed for strength
through engineering, not strength with bulk. For
example, a 16' grain body with tailgate and 48" side
weighs only 1490 lbs, com
length or any side height up to 60"
Also available
• Double swinging hay^
hauling tailgate
• Barn door type tailgate
• Slide out cattle chutes
HEWEY WELDING
1045 Wampler Rd. Lebanon, PA 17042 (717)867-5222
Boy, she must really be dis
tracted now. I’ve heard her rum
bling about a bunch of farmers
writing letters and making
phone calls about this change
They’d better not get so distract
ed they forget about US
Doggone, I wish she’d change
how she’s getting ready to milk
me today. HEY, A LITTLE LESS
CLEANING VIGOR BACK
THERE.
Maybe I should have stayed
out of that puddle
There, take that swap with
my tail. That should get her
attention. As soon as she
retrieves her safety glasses from
that manure splat out in the
walkway.
No, that won’t improve her
mooooood. She’s too irritated
after figuring up about how
much less money my milk is
going to earn them to pay the
feed bills. And the taxes. And all
that other stuff she writes those
endless checks for But it sure
made ME fell better
Wish she’d remember that
this is Dairy Month. And go have
some strawberries and ice
cream
That’s one thing guaranteed
to put her in a better moooooood
We'll build you any
lete
• Diamond flooring
• Pull out panel tailgates
• Any size grain chute
* %.
A