84-Lancaster Farming, Saturday, June 27, 1998
Taking
Time
by
Rebecca
Escott
The Nature of Fathering.
"You really don't understand
human nature unless you know
why a child on a merry-go-round
will wave at his parents every
time around and why his par
ents will always wave back."
Last night I saw that William D.
Tammer's quote played out
before my eyes in my own fami
ly.
My husband was busily mow
ing the lawn when he heard out
15-month -old daughter pound
ing on the window. As soon as he
glanced up, her face lit up, and
she started waving madly at
him. He returned the wave and
motioned in their own private
sign language, "I love you." Then
he turned and headed back
down the yard away from her.
She stayed glued to the win
dow. As soon as he made the
next turn, she began the routine
again, waving madly and wait
ing anxiously for his smile and
wave in response. This contin
ued until he moved out of her
view. Each time she waved and
longed for his attention. Each
time he returned the gesture
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and gave a special giggle or
tease back. This very personal
exchange reminded me of the
incredible importance a father
plays in a child's life a role that
fathers fill uniquely.
Of course, some women don't
like to hear that, but men, and
fathers in particular, do interact
with children differently than
women. One area where men
and women differ is that men
tend to interact in a more play
ful, physical way. Some adults
may worry that this rough play
will encourage behavior that
becomes violent. But extensive
research and observations do
not support that concern.
In fact, the research says that
"play aggression" is different
that "real aggression," and the
participants know that. Play
aggression is characterized by
open palms, smiles, relaxed
muscles and body position with
storytelling interspersed in the
play. Child development experts
now support children having
lots of times for tough and tum
ble play. Interesting, this physi
cal rough-housing actually
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improves a child's social skills.
Children who have experienced
this tend to have more friends,
be better readers, have higher
language skills, and have
greater levels of creativity.
Ironically, children who were
not exposed to regular rough
and tumble play tended to lack
the social skills to interact with
friends without getting angry.
Although we don't understand
the entire process, experts
believe that the social skills
develop as children and dads
read each others' cues and
adjust when play becomes "too
rough" or when the child is "no
longer having fun.: It develops
in children an intuitive "know
when to say when" sort of judg
ment.
Boys who grow up without a
positive male role model often
develop a "protest" or
"Hypermasculine" personality
trying desperately to compen
sate for the lack of a father.
Although women can interact
with their kids in this rougher,
more playful way, men come by
it naturally! And the rough and
tumble play is important for
both sons and daughters. When
it's sanctioned, girls actually
welcome the chance to wrestle or
play tug-of-war or be in a water
balloon battle.
In addition to providing lots
of rough and tumble play, dads
also encourage risk-taking. They
provide, for both their sons and
their daughters, the first look at
how a man behaves. Last
Sunday, we celebrated fathers.
In the months ahead, I encour
age fathers to renew their com
mitment to their children by
investing quantities of time with
them (for rough and tumble
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play, for conversation, for just
being together). I encourage
moms to recognize the wonder
ful nature of men and appreciate
the unique needs that they meet'
Wayne County To Hold
Pilot Program For Kids
HONESDALE (Wayne Co.)
Penn State Cooperative
Extension and the Wayne
County 4-H Program announced
a new summer day camp for
youngsters. The pilot program
will debut on Monday, July 6-10,
at the Lakeside Elementary
School in Honesdale. The half
day program running from 9 am
to 12 noon is designed to provide
youngsters with a new experi
ence and a chance for discovery.
Five of the newest hands-on
4-H projects are being offered for
8-12 year olds. Adult volunteers,
assisted by 4-H teens, will be
delivering the programs to the
campers in both a classroom sit
uation and an outdoor arena.
•“Catch the bug” will intro
duce youngsters to the world of
insects. Campers will not only
collect and learn to identify
insects, but they will also be
making their own equipment
used to collect insects. This pro
ject will help youth develop
pride in their work as they cre
ate a collection to be exhibited at
the Wayne County Fair.
•In “At Your Disposal,”
campers will learn what garbage
is and what to do with it. They
will create their own mini-land
fill, as they leam the importance
of recycling, composting and effi
cient garbage disposal, along
with learning to craft recy
clables from trash to treasures.
•“Rub Elbows with Your
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in children's lives,
And whoever you are, when
you're watching a child on the
merry-go-round, always wave
back.
Ancestors” is designed to intro
duce youngsters to the local her
itage of Honesdale. They will
learn the historical significance
of the railroad from a local view
point and take the famous
“Walking Tour” of Honesdale
Also, campers will explore the
different facets of life by study
ing tombstones and will create
their own unique tombstone by
rubbing to display at the fair.
• For the scientist in the fam
ily who has wondered how a
rocket works, the project
“Rocketry” project is the one to
pick. In this project campers will
explore the world of aviation
when they build and customize
their own rocket, and ultimately
launch their spacecraft.
•Discover the jungle in your
own backyard in “Trees+Me
=Forestry.” Campers will
become familiar with the trees
in Pennsylvania.
As a bonus, each camper will
also participate in the “Food and
Fitness for Fun” project with
Penn State Nutrition Educator,
Evie Vitali. Nutritional snacks
and supplies are included in the
project fees.
Pre-registration is required.
Limited space is available in
these projects. Register by call
ing the Wayne County
Extension Office at 717-253-
5970 ext. 239.
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