Taking
Time
by
Rebecca
Escott
This weekend many families
will be getting together to cele
brate Memorial Day—putting
flowers on graves, watching
parades, having picnics, opening
pools, and kicking off the sum
mer season. It’s a perfect recipe
for adult-child fun!
Recently I was reminded of
how desperately children need
caring adults around them. I
reviewed a study originally
released in 1989 by Peterson
and Peterson. For 10 years they
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17
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tracked adolescent boys who had
committed several serious
crimes between the ages of 14
and 18.
The researchers wanted to
know how many, if any, of these
boys would have successfully
joined society 10 years later.
They checked how many of these
juvenile offenders by the time
they were 24-28 years old had
gone without an arrest in the
past three years and had filed a
tax return. The result?
Seventeen percent had.
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Granted, that’s not a huge
number. But some of those kids
who seemed really at risk when
they were younger “made it.” So
Peterson and Peterson asked,
“What made the difference for
these guys?” Eighty percent
named a specific adult —Mrs.
Johnson, Coach T., Grandma
Wilson, etc.
All it took to “save” these kids
from a cycle of criminal of activ
ities and disappointments was
one adult expecting them to suc
ceed, believing in them, and con
tinuing to provide positive
opportunities. Wow! One adult.
Maybe your life is not as dra
matic as that, but you could
probably name adults that who
have stepped in and provided
important supplemental encour
agement in ways that parents
can’t. Some of the people who
made a difference in my life
were a camp counselor, a 4-H
leader, an English teacher, a
youth group leader, a best
friend’s mom.
Sometimes, we make the mis
take of thinking that it takes
special talents or a lot of money
to do something that would mat
ter to children. Wrong. I listen to
radio announcements in our
community where our children
make requests for attention
through “Big Brother, Big
Sister” program. What do they
want? Someone to talk to, some
one to take them to the mall,
someone to shoot basketball
with, someone to play games
with.
Children need adults and “big
brothers/sisters” to care about
them, to miss them if they aren’t
at school, to notice when they
are sitting alone crying, to give a
hug, to be in the audience at
their school program.
Consider ways that you
might make a difference to a
out mi
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Lancaster Farming, Saturday, May 23, 1998-Bit
child who seems “at risk.” Could
you be a phone pal, calling them
when they get home from
school? Could you host a story
hour for kids at your home?
Could you rock some infants in
the hospital or at day care?
Could you “adopt” a boy on the
little league team whose dad
lives in another town? Could you
drive a van full of teens to the
state park for hiking? Some very
ordinary actions taken over time
can produce extraordinary
results in children.
As you think about Memorial
Day, and making memories that
last beyond this generation, con
sider taking time not only for
your own children, but at least
one child outside your family.
Your caring could change a life.
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