Send the Message of Love
The other night when I got
home from a late evening meeting
Russell greeted me at the door and
announced he had done several
loads of laundry. What a message
of love! Are you sending mes
sages of love occasionally to your
partner?
Partners in a growing relation
ship enjoy doing things for each
other. She may send him notes. He
may do the laundry. But they do
things for each other that send the
message of love.
One of the difficulties in mar
riage is that sometimes one part
ner is trying to send a message of
love, but the other one isn’t get
ting it For instance, if a husband
likes to buy little gifts for his wife
but she worries about the budget,
she may not appreciate the gifts.
Or. if he does not help around the
house, she may not feel that he
loves her no matter what he says.
It doesn’t do any good to be an
gry when your partner doesn’t
seem to get the message from the
things you do for him or her.
Rather than.be mad, see if you can
figure out what language of love
works for your partner. Think
about the things you’ve done that
your spouse appreciates most
Taking time to listen? Helping
out? Writing or telling your love?
Baking his/her favorite cookies?
Giving a foot massage at the end
of the day? In order to be more ef
fective in showing love for your
partner, you might ask him or her
to describe the things that give the
message of love. Pick one or two
that you can work on. Send a mes
sage of love every day in a way
that works for your partner.
Partners in a growing relation
ship use conflict to improve the re
lationship. When people first date
or get married they often overlook
or ignore the things that bother
them in each other. After a while
they may be more bothered by
those things. They may think only
about the things that bother them.
They may become angry and won*
der why the spouse does such aw
ful things. But sometimes, the
spouse has not changed. The other
has just focused on the annoying
actions. There will always be dif
ferences anytime two people share
their lives as much as a husband
and wife. But those differences
can help us to grow toward a
stronger and more balanced rela
tionship if we use the differences
wisely. There are several rules to
remember if you want, to keep
your differences from ruining
your marriage.
Let some things go. Some
things aren’t worth fighting about,
and some times are bad times for
fighting. Sometimes we let little
things bother us until they are all
we think about It may be best to
overlook little differences. Some
times we are bothered because
we’re tired or sick. Or we may feel
angry. But if we are tired or in an
angry mood, we might do better to
save the discussion until after a
good night’s sleep. When we start
pouring out our anger, we may
just get more angry and damage
the relationship.
Talk to find answers rather titan
to blame or hurt your spouse. Dis
cussions are for finding answers,
not for blaming, punishing, or
hurting our partner. It is not very
useful to figure out who started the
problem. Each partner can blame
the other. It is damaging to try to
hurt or punish your partner. The
reason to discuss problems is to
ROLLING WLJN THE 90S WhCll YOU BUJT A
You Get The Best
MEETS THE CHALLENGE
SSPIO GRASS SEEDERS
apt.
Available point
or pull type
Features of the SSPIO are 4 3/8 Bu. meter box
capacity, 4 3/8 brome box capacity, Standard front
wheel, and a 10’ rolling width. The overall width is
11 ’4” and approx, weight is 2018#.
Lancaster Farming, Saturday, April 20, 19P-B5
find better ways to make the mar
riage work. Ask your partner
questions like “Would it help if I
(describe something you can do to
improve the relationship)?’’
Recognize the differences be
tween preferences and principles.
Preferences include our favorite
color, our favorite sandwich, the
temperature we prefer for die bed
room. Principles involve stand
ards. We don’t believe in hurting
other people. We believe in being
responsible. Sometimes in mar
riage we confuse principles and
preferences. We think our partner
is cruel because of disagreements
over television programs, use of
money, use of free time. Your
partner’s way is not necessarily
better or worse than your way. Try
to find the values you have in
common to help you make deci
sions that satisfy you both.
Take time to understand your
partner. It’s common for people to
Lebanon County
Needs Contestants
For Dairy Promotions
The Lebanon County Dairy
Promotion Committee is seeking
contestants for the annual pageant
to be held during June Dairy
Month. Positions to be filled
include dairy princesses between
16 and 24 years; dairy maids
judge the goodness or smartness
of what other people do. But a lot
of conflict can be avoided by tak
ing time to understand rather than
judge. It’s hard to do. Most people
never get good at it But the part
ner who takes time to understand
can be a more loving effective
partner.
For example, if your partner is
bothered about something, it’s not
helpful to say, “That’s stupid” or
"You’ll get over it” or “Why can’t
you grow up?” When a person is
hurting, it’s mote helpful to say
“That sounds very frustrating” or
“Did you feel disappointed?”
Have you thought of a message
of love you can send to your part
ner in the next few days? Take a
few minutes to let your partner
know that they still are the most
important person in your life.
Have fun this summer with your
growing relationship!
between 13 and 16 years, and
Little Miss entrants between 6 and
8 years.
For more information on
requirements, call Annette Buck at
717 867-5278 or Roberta Bashore
at 717 865-4645.
Pennsylvania
ADAMSTOWN
Adamstown Equip. Inc.
ALLENTOWN
Lehigh Ag Equipment
BECHTELSVILLE
Miller Equip. Co.
CARLISLE
Gutshall's, Inc.
DOVER
George N. Gross, Inc.
EASTON
Geo. V. Seiple
ELIZABETHTOWN
Messick Farm Equipment Co.
INTERCOURSE
C.B. Hoober k Son
GREENCASTLE
Meyers Implement
LANCASTER '
Landis Brothers, Inc.
LEBANON
Umberger’s of Fontana
LOYSVILLE
Gutshall’s, Inc.
LYNNPORT
Kermit K. Kistler, Inc.
NEEDMORE
Clugston Farm Equipment
NEW HOLLAND
A.B.C. Groff, Inc.
OAKLAND MILLS
Peoples Sales & Service
OLEY
Pikevllle Equipment, Inc.
QUARRYVILLE
Grumelli Farm Service
SOMERSET
Summit Machinery
TAMAOUA
Charles Snyder, Inc.
WATSONTOWN
Deerfield Ag & Turf Center, Inc.
WEST GROVE
S.Q. Lewis & Son, Inc.
| Maryland |
FREDERICK
Ceresville Ford New Holland
BRIDGETON
Leslie Fogg
ELMER
Pole Tavern Equip. Sales Corp
FAIRIELD
Caldwell Tractor & Equipment
ROLLING 0N...1N THE 90'S
MEETS THE CHALLENGE