TAKING
TIME
by Rebecca Escotf
Penn State
Extension Home Economist
For Lehigh County
The fall and winter months
bring many families together for
Thanksgiving, Kwaanza, Hanuk
kah, Christmas, and other holiday
family reunions. These are times
when families are celebrated, and
yet many times this past week, I
heard people lamenting—regret
ting that not everyone would be
together this week or that they
wouldn’t be able to travel this year.
Staying connected with family
even when you’re physically miles
apart is very important. I just com
mented to a friend that perhaps her
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sister-in-law was afraid that if
everyone didn’t gather for the
meal that they weren’t really “con
nected” and committed to being a
family anymore. I believe that a
family can be connected and com
mitted to each other even when
they are miles apart.
According to research, tradi
tions and rituals help families
maintain strong bonds. If you’re
feeling disconnected and want to
strengthen the ties with family (or
even special friends), here are
some ideas to try.
You might make a ritual of
calling members who are not pre
sent in the late afternoon or set
aside time to write letters to people
who are in different communities
to share how you spent your day
and to convey your hopes and hol
iday wishes with them. Assemble
a letter writing kit with stationery,
postcards, stamps, envelopes,
return address labels, ink pads and
stamps, stickers, etc. For one half
hour, sit as a family and write to
relatives. Each person selects a
different person to write to. Young
children can draw pictures. Afthe
end of the letter, other family
members can add a P.S. if they
wish. These letters can be sent in
advance and then read before the
meal or opening of gifts.
Even though you may not be
together, family members may
agree to all serve a special menu
item that has been a part of your
past family gatherings. Or, send a
piece of dinnerware, serving plate,
or table decoration to a family
member in another state. On the
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special days when you can’t be
together, you can celebrate your
relationship by using the china,
bread basket, or candlesticks. On
some dinner tables, that will mean
having quite a collection of
unmatched items—each with a
story. Your family can take time
out from feasting to talk about the
members who are “with you”
through the memorabilia.
Another alternative is to tape
record yourself reading a story
book and send the recording to a
child or grandchild in another
place. For an added treat, include
the book so they can “read along.”
Some families stay connected
to “family” and to their heritage by
participating in similar routines
even though they are not in the
same households. In my growing
Holiday Decorating
Get in the holiday spirit by par
ticipating in the “Holiday Decorat
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from 1:00 PM-3:00 PM at PECO
Energy Company’s Muddy Run
Information Center. This is a family
event where each can make and take
a simple holiday craft decoration.
There will be candy ornaments,
wreaths, swags, and additional nat
ural items that can be made in one
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up family, keeping an advent cal
endar was an important family rit
ual. Now as an adult, I purchase
calendars for all my siblings’ fam
ilies. Periodically, I check in with
them to see how theirs is. Just
knowing that each day they are
opening a window like I am keeps
me feeling connected.
Consider spending the after
noon doing one of those jobs that
always gets put off—label photos
and place them in albums. You
can reminisce and sense your con
nections to family and friends (and
get some work done, too).
These are just a few of the hun
dreds of ways that you can stay
connected mentally and emotion
ally to family members when the
holidays find you physically miles
apart.
afternoon. A small fee may be
charged for particular supplies,
however, most ornaments will be
free of charge. Participants can
drop in anytime between 1 p.m.
and 3 p.m. at the Muddy Run Infor
mation Center.
For more information please
call PECO Energy Company
Muddy Run Information Center at
717-284-2538.
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