Use Holidays To Enjoy Friends, Strengthen Family Ties
UNIVERSITY PARK, (Centre
Co.) Many of us splurge over
the holidays, not just on gifts, but
on parties, decorations, cards and
food. The result often is not only
empty pockets but stress and
exhaustion, said a family resource
expert in Penn State’s College of
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“We need to reevaluate what
the holiday season means to us,”
said Dr. Marilyn Furry, associate
professor of extension education.
“The holidays should be a relax
ing time to spend with family.
This is something children need as
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much as adults do.
“Children should get some spe
cial attention during this time, but
parents often are busy buying
gifts, attending holiday parties,
cleaning the house and decorating
the tree,” said Furry. “Too often,
children end up spending time
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with a babysitter.”
When holiday responsibilities
aren’t shared by the entire family,
this diminishes the experience for
everyone as well. “Many times
it’s the mother’s responsibility to
buy and wrap gifts, decorate the
home, bake cookies and mail
cards,” said Furry. “Often she
feels burned out before the holi
days are even over.”
Furry points out that families
need to sit down together and set
priorities for holiday activities
and share the work. “Make it a
team effort, and do only as many
things as you can accomplish
comfortably,” she said. “Congrat
ulate yourself on what you’ve
accomplished rather than agoniz
ing about what you haven’t done.”
Holiday parties can be a great
time to get together with friends—
but too many parties can take time
away from the family. “One way
to avoid this is to refuse social
invitations after a certain date,
such as December IS, unless the
event includes the whole family,”
Furry said.
It’s also a good idea to set real
istic expectations about gifts. This
can save time as well as money.
“Ask yourself if you really need to
buy presents for everyone,” said
Furry. “Perhaps you could draw
names with friends and relatives.
Set a price limit for gifts, and have
everyone agree in advance.
“Buy presents that will last or
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that can be recycled or repaired.
Use your creativity to make gifts
Capitalize on talents such as cook
ing, baking, sewing or wreath
making. Another idea is- to give a
coupon book of favors to be
redeemed throughout the year. Or
make a donation in a loved one’s
name to a charity or church group.”
Furry said that families also
need strong holiday traditions to
stabilize the unsettling holiday
season. “These can be simple
things the family does together,
such as opening cards, taking a
walk in the woods or calling
friends. Include activities not cen
tered around giving gifts, and do
the same things each year so that
the children can say, ‘When do we
make the wreath?’ or ‘When can
we decorate the tree?”’
Furry also emphasizes an even
ly paced holiday season. “From
Thanksgiving on, and sometimes
even earlier, the holidays receive a
huge buildup,” she said. “Then
after Hanukkah and Christmas,
the activities drop dramatically.
Everyone feels let down, and the
children are left surrounded by a
stack of gifts, wondering what to
do next.
“Instead, gradually wind down
the holiday season,” she said.
“Don’t take the decorations down
immediately, and plan some of
those get-togethers for after the
holidays.”
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