82-Lancaster Farming, Saturday, February 26, 1994
Trudy Bard
Farm Women Society Members Reflect On Growing Up And Life Today
LOU ANN GOOD
Lancaster Farming Staff
KIRKWOOD (Lancaster Co.)
Stories are often heard about the
“good old days” when parents and
children worked side by side on the
farm, and many of the social ills of
society seem to slide by without
affecting the lives of most fami
lies.
Several members of Lancaster
Farm Women Society 15 have
lived in “the good, old days.”
Some are now retired, their sons
and daughters grown, and their
grandchildren and great grandchil
dren are now experiencing family
life in the ’9os.
Since 1994 has been designated
“The Year of the Family,” there is
a renewed interest in family. How
do the good old days compare to
life today?
Recently Nancy Shoemaker,
Isabel Ferrec, Elma Maule, and
Trudy Bard took time to reflect on
family life as they saw it while
growing up and how they see n
today.
Although family life is known to
have undergone many changes in
recent years, it is apparent that
even in the good old days, family
life could not be stereotyped. Fam
ilies learned to live with the good
and the bad. They survived
often happily despite hardships.
Nancy Shoemaker
While some people blame
today’s ills on broken homes, Nan
cy Shoemaker doesn’t believe that
is the total problem.
She grew up as a child of
divorced parents in the 19305.
“And, believe me, that was almost
unheard of then,” she said.
Although Nancy got almost
everything she wanted in posses
sions, she said, “I missed that feel
ing of family.”
Her grandfather helped fill that
void and, Nancy said, she had a
nice childhood, was active in
church and school, and had lots of
friends.
Unlike today’s teens, Nancy
said that it was quite an event when
a boy got to borrow the family car.
“There were only two boys who
had a car when I was in high
school,” she said. “And, believe
me, they (the boys) were very
much in demand.”
After college, Nancy taught
school, met her husband to be, quit
her Job, and came to the farm.
“Everybody said it wouldn’t
work,” Nancy said of her transition
of going from town to the farm.
Nancy Shoemaker
Family Life
“It was rough adapting, but I
survived,” she said of the isolation
she felt in not having even a phone
for the first four years of married
life.
“What really helped me was the
advice my mother-in-law told me.
“There were only two boys
who had a car when I was in high
school,” she said. “And, believe
me, they (the boys) were very
much in demand.”
1 never forgot it, and I bless her.
everyday for it,” Nancy said.
The advice?
Never go near the cows.
“I didn’t,” Nancy said. “But I
saw other women start helping in
the bam and they soon ended up
working there everyday.”
However, Nancy did learn to
can and freeze and “do all those
things a good wife should,” she
said.
The couple had four boys, who
are now grown. Now that there are
seven grandchildren in the family,
she observes the different
lifestyles.
“Fathers today spent a lot more
lime with the children than my
husband was able to spend with
ours,” she said. “My boys some
times forego business to do some
thing for the kids. Things pretty
much center on the kids. I think it’s
great that fathers take more interest
in the children and are able to do
so.
Nancy thinks mothers today are
more interested in careers because
fathers help out more in the home.
“There’s more responsibility
put on the children when mothers
work outside the home, but child
ren seem to be happy and that’s the
main thing,” she said.
Nancy and her husband Kenneth
still live on their 300-acre farm,
but two of their sons now operate it
and milk 80 cows.
All four of the Shoemakers’
sons live within a '/< mile radius.
“So the children know there is
always someone around they
have a good support system,” she
said.
Isabel Ferree
Isabel Ferree grew up as an only
child. She never married, but she
has plenty of experience with
children. Isabel taught school for
43 years and then worked part time
Then And Now
as a teacher’s aide until five years
ago.
“Children today are more
mature than when 1 first taught in a
one-room school,” Isabel said.
“That has its good sides and bad
sides. It’s good to be mature but
sometimes they get thrown into
things that they aren’t mature
enough to handle such as teen
pregnancy.”
Isabel said that she believes
there is a big difference in the peer
pressure children feel today com
pared with when she was in school.
“When I was a child, everything
centered on school, church and
family life at home. Now both
parents work. There are so many
things good things to be active
in but it results in a different
family life. One family member is
Curfews were unheard of, she
said, because they were not
necessary. It was just under
stood that children got in at a
decent time.
going this way and another that.”
Isabel said that she was fortu
nate that her dad was very much a
family man. On the whole, she
believes fathers today help more
with housework and children.
“But it was definitely better to
be a child in my era,” she said.
“When I was growing up, we
walked to school. We’d take our
sleds to school and sled for one
hour during lunchtime and during
two IS-minute recesses during the
day.”
As a teacher, Isabel felt sorry for
students who did not have free
time at school after third grade.
Since elementary children have
so little unstructured free time, it
puts too much pressure on them.
On the other hand, she believes
high school students need struc
tured activities instead of being
allowed to hang out on street
comers.
Parents, she said, are sometimes
Isabel Ferree
unaware of what children are
doing, the lyrics to the music that
they are listening to.
“My dad thought that it was
really important to get in the right
thing. He considered smoking
immoral. If he knew of anyone
whose family did not have good
name, I was expected to be nice to
them, but not allowed to associate
with them,” she said.
Curfews were unheard of, she
said, because they were not neces
sary. It was just understood that
children got in at a decent time.
Isabel still lives on the Century
Farm on which she was bom and
raised. It’s been in the family since
1880. Her cousin’s son farms it.
Trudy Bard
Trudy Bard isn't retired. She
doesn’t have grandchildren, but
her two sons are grown and Trudy
laments the fact that they missed
an important part of childhood that
meant so much to her living
near grandparents.
“Extended family life has really
changed,” said Trudy, who grew
up in Bucks County and lived near
her grandparents. When her
brother was killed by a school bus.
it was Trudy’s grandmother who
held the family together as they
struggled through the emotional
horrors.
When Trudy married William
from Chester County and the cou
ple moved to Kirkwood, Trudy
was disappointed that extended
family members did not live
nearby.
“I feel that my kids have really
Vumesfattd
ttfoips
Elma Maule
suffered by not living near to
grandparents,” she said.
Trudy feels that she was fortu
nate to be able to quit her school
teaching job to become a full-time
mother.
“Today, necessity to survive
often required two incomes,” she
“I feel that
my kids have
really suffered
by not living
near to grand
parents,” she
said.
said. “I can’t put myself in that
situation. I think that change is
hard on the kids.”
While two-income families
often require the father to help
more with the children’s upbring
ing than perhaps their own fathers
had helped, Trudy’s husband Wil
liam is an example of men who
have always taken an active part in
parenting.
“My husband was better with
the babies than I was.” Tmdy said.
Elma Maule
Elma Maule remembers a good
childhood, despite the death of a
sibling. She lived on a farm until
she was 12, then the family moved
to Oxford.
Elma graduated from Temple
University with a degree in educa
tion. She taught five years in
elementary school, until she mar
ried in 1933. She and her husband
adopted three children and then
had a birth child who died at two
years of age. The Maules now have
12 grandchildren and several great
grandchildren.
‘They seem to live happy lives,”
Elma said. “The biggest change 1
see is that they get jobs at a youn
ger age.”