On
afar
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Early on in our relationship, he
proved his uncanny ability to fig
ure out how mechanical mysteries
worked, and to fix them when they
didn’t.
For instance, his prized baby
blue-and-white *54 Chevy had
some miniscule thingumajig that
periodically slipped away from
some other doohickey it was sup
posed to be attached to, which
kept the car from working at the
most inopportune times. Like
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when he’d been in the field long
hours that day, and was already
late for a date.
So, he always kept on hand in
the ashtray a couple of spare rub
berbands, which kept the thinga
majig attached to the doohickey,
and the car running when it was
supposed to.
Except, of course, for when you
tried to restart it while the motor
was still warm. Then, due to
another of the car’s personality
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quirks, it also usually refused to
start. Generally when we were due
to meet friends or attend some
function at a pre-set time.
Fortunately, I lived at the top of
a long hill, and the ’54 Chevy
rarely failed to start as it drifted
down the steep grade.
This mechanical aptitude has
passed through the male lineage of
the family, as indicated by the vol
ume of grease which now oozes
from the skin pores of both the
older and younger Farmers. In the'
wake of their collective travels on
a typical day are greasy, grimy oil
tracks on cakes of white soap, the
bathroom and kitchen sinks, t
shirts, blue jeans, hand towels, and
the white woodwork.
Boggled by the intricacies
under the hood of my car or the
lawn mower, I marvel at and
admire their mechanical aptitudes.
Sometimes I wish at least a little
bit of that ability would rub off
onto the mother side of the house
hold, as easily as the residue rubs
off onto the handtowels.
Fact is. I figure they can fix just
about anything with baler twine,
duct tape, pop rivets, and a dazzle-
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ON THE MOVE.. IN-THE OO'a
eyed, oxygen-acetylene-eating,
smoke-and-fire-belching dragon,
which they affectionately refer to
a lot as The Welder.
Of course, they seem to need
unbelievable amounts of nuts,
bolts, pins, shear bars, gears, bear
ings and miscellaneous sundry
and assorted steel, metal and plas
tic parts in a variety of shapes and
sizes, for which die bills arrive
regularly each month.
While I always admire their
“fixin”’ abilities, sometimes the
level of appreciation rises and
falls with the parts and tools which
turn up everywhere; from the
trunk of the car to the front porch
to the kitchen counter, on their
way to installation in some ailing
piece of equipment.
Saturday evening, my apprecia
tion level reached a new high.
The 50th anniversary celebra
tion for my folks was to begin in
just an hour. In my little car,
already running, were flowers,
photos, decorations, cards and
such assorted items. I tossed in my
handbag, retrieved an almost-
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FRANK RTHANI MM
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Lancaster Fanning, Saturday, June 24,1989-B5
forgotten camera, tucked it into
the passenger side, locked and
closed the door, ran around to
crawl in the driver’s side - and
came face to face with a locked
door on the other side of the two
door car.
Never before in my entire life
had I locked myself out of the car.
And I hadn’t locked the driver
side door; it must have somehow
gotten bumped as I was putting
things inside. There was an extra
set of keys -- inside my handbag,
which was inside the locked, run
ning car. (But you had probably
figured that out already, right?)
The panic rising from the pit of
my stomach collided with my
sinking heart, as I rushed into the
house wailing, “You’re never
gonna’ believe what 1 just did!”
He believed.
And promptly retrieved a coat
hanger from upstairs. Using a tool
which just happened to be handy,
he cut the hanger, bent it straight,
pried the door gasket apart enough
to slip the wire through, and neatly
yanked up the lock. All in about
five minutes time.
“Easiest car I ever broke into.”
he told the kids later.
As I said. I’ve always admired
his “Axin’” abilities. But I think
we may have to look into where
this particular “Axin’” experience
came from.
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